Oh, hell. Photobucket finally timed out and many pictures are going to need to be re-shot and uploaded. Well, I have a 3 week break coming up ... Dec 19th, 2019.
And now 8th!! Edition!!!!
July 2018
It has been a while, and that's nicely telling when it comes to criticizing our nice little game, meaning 8e is pretty good. But, that latest update is there to consider.
Thanks to those who have attended for so long. 6 years have passed.
**These first few comics are getting dated. They started with the Jan 2012 FAQs, 5th edition, when GW inexplicably flipped Warp Time on its head. Some point soon, I might just blog 'em. Otherwise, enjoy and eyeball the dates for the more time sensitive references.
"All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."
And comments are always welcome ... they break up non-stop picture posts.
"Hello, I'm Bob. I'm painted green to be a Nurgle DP, with Warp Time. "
"This is my buddy, Fred. Pink for Slaanesh. He's a Lash Prince. Say, 'hi', Fred." "Hi." "We've done a lot of work together as Chaos Space Marine HQs." "Yeah."
"He'd Lash power armor loyalists to me. Space Puppies. I'd eat 'em. It was cool. Me? I'd use Warp Time and it was kinda like a Matrix style thing, not exactly, but I could see where orks, or smurfs, pups or pretty-boys -- " "Blood Angels." " - Heh! Sissies. Yeah, where they were gonna swing at me, and then I'd see another path of Fate, and I'd dodge or smack where he thought he was gonna step. Damn. It was fun." "Good Times."
...
*sigh* *sigh*
"Sorry guys, but we are handing in our C:CSM employee badges. Ya know, in this economy, if a better job turns up ... "
"What?" "'Thought so." "Who didn't see this coming?"
"We got a new boss, you see." "Gonna kinda suck, going from management to heavy lifting. Less pay." "I'm okay with less responsibility. Let someone else deal with NonHuman Resources. I just wanna hit things." "Bob, do you think we'll look good in red? I mean it's so over done ...."
"Hey! We wanna come along! Codex CSM was circling the drain anyway! The Chaos Daemon codex is gonna be waay more cool! Furious Charge! Hell blades! Yeah! Hawt!"
"See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya! Losers!" PBPBPBBth!
"Rats deserting a sinking ship." "Quitters. Douches." Yeah, wait 'til our 6e book comes out! Then you'll come crawling back!"
juraigamer wrote:There is no logic for their FAQ's. They either just copy the stuff from dakka or use their big spinner with yes and no all over it.
Maybe they take a "See and Say", cover it up with Post-Its of units or powers and pull the string. Whatever the arrow lands on, they either buff it or nerf it.
Brothererekose wrote:"We got a new boss, you see."
"Gonna kinda suck, going from management to heavy lifting. Less pay."
"I'm okay with less responsibility. Let someone else deal with NonHuman Resources. I just wanna hit things."
"Bob, do you think we'll look good in red? I mean it's so over done ...."
I lawl'd.
As for the posed question I agree with the inconsistency bit. Each edition is a back and forth tug or war. However, I do enjoy not having to roll an all Khorne army in the new CSM codex. In the end I feel their goal is to get everyone to repaint their armies with each new edition, or as you said, sell and and start from scratch.
"Oh, great, this back-stabber?" "Back shooter, you mean." "Correction. Rhino shooter. I bet he gets kickbacks from our mechanicus adeptus."
"That's just it! I won't pivot to shoot you or your rhinos! I can be really useful now."
"Like WarpTime is now useful?"
"Right. Useful. Maybe you can get work on the Island of Sodor."
"Ha! I get it, because he's already blue, right?"
...
"Hey, Mr. Spite? We'll call *you*, okay? When we get a game, we'll send you a text, awright?"
"Let's get outta here."
"Crap."
"What?"
"Not you."
"Haw, haw, haw!"
*sigh* "There's less than ten of us, but only one unit can get in the rhino."
"Oh, for the Emperor's Head, get in the damned rhino!"
"Well I think the FAQ is just great. Just keep me a bit forward, maybe angled to the flank and when I Rage I can pump some double Melta shots into the enemy. It'll be sweet! Right, Guys?"
Need more Fred and Bob, for sure. Also, I really only used the Princes to 'shoot' units with LoS to pull in closer for charges, so the only thing hitting me is the 2+ to shoot with it AFTER passing the test when before it WASN'T a shooting attack-correct me if I'm wrong, but in the previous FAQ didn't it say LoS wasn't a shooting attack and didn't need to roll to hit? Stupid, stupid decision. I didn't ever use warptime, so that one didn't effect me. But the big kick to the nads was that BA and SW shooting attacks don't require rolls to hit. Consistency-is it too much to ask for? Make a single ruling across the board and stick with it. Also, more Fred and Bob.
Brothererekose wrote:"Like WarpTime is now useful?"
"Right. Useful. Maybe you can get work on the Island of Sodor."
"Ha! I get it, because he's already blue, right?"
...
I have a three year old, so I found this endlessly amusing.
"We ought to brush up on the other Codexes to see if Daemons have any weaknesses that didn't pertain to us as Chaos Marines."
"I think there's one or two codexes missing. I don't see IG."
"What does that matter? There are too many different tanks to remember what they do. We've got Invulns and Iron Hides. Fighting IG is pretty simple, Fred. We're just gonna smash some tanks."
"It matters a little. Remember, we go after squadrons first. Fifty percent chance to wreck on every penetrating hit."
"Rii-iight. Squadron rules. "
"Right. What about Grey Knights? That one isn't here."
"Oh, yeah, huh ... well, if it isn't here, it probably isn't all that important. Just more power-armored goons. We can handle them same as ChaosSM DPs or as Chaos Daemons."
"Yeah! High five!"
"Gaming, Articles. Errata. Okay ... whoa, it looks like everybody got an update."
"Yeah, same thing happened last year. Didn't it?"
"Uh, huh. Some badly needed clarifications. But, a buncha screw ups and unnecessary nerfs, too."
"Makes you wonder if the Chaos Gods are running things in Nottingham."
"Ha!"
"Heh. Damn, Fred. We're not immune to Jaws of the World Wolf, even though we *Move* like Jump Infantry. And, Rune Priests no longer have to roll to hit."
"Wee-eelll, that was the house ruling --
"The entry FREAKIN' SAYS, 'you draw a line' - -"
"PEACE, man! Geez, Bob, I don't want to get into it again.
"Alright, alright, sorry. Nerd rage. We're cool."
"I don't see how it matters to us now anyway. Did you see how much our new wings are gonna cost in the Codex: Daemons? I think our flying days are over."
"Yer, right. We'll Deep Strike in every game. Get shot up for a round and then assault. Wings will just be for show."
"Awright. If we're gonna be competitive, we ought to see which lists are curb stompin'."
"Bob, "curb stomping" is so 2007. That went away when The Soprano's went off the air. We're demon-daemons now! Get with the times."
"Yeah, okay. Let's check out the winners of 'Ard Boyz last year. We were all packed up at the time ... "
"Uh-oh. GKs were all over the 'Ard Boyz. I don't see daemons anywhere on the winners' lists."
"Bob, we better get a look at that codex."
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Blitza da warboy wrote:oh god GW....why must you hate chaos so much?
Given Fred's comment on capricious decisions ... who is gonna hate chaos, more than chaos?
... well, I'd heard vague, rather vague, rumors that Alessio's leaving GW may not have been on the best terms. Maybe the Lash nerf is a slap in his direction?
As an American I can hardly see it, but after watching a couple of episodes of Downton Abbey, and seeing all of the subtleness Brits go through to zing each other ...
*shrug*
biccat wrote:...goes off to check if there's a new Ork FAQ.
edit: oh look, they nerfed KFF.
What do you mean? I'm not seeing any changes, but maybe I'm misreading it.
Q: What cover save does kustom force field give to a
vehicle within 6" of it? (p35)
A: 4+. Note that for a squadron of vehicles only those
within 6” of the custom force filed will count as
obscured.
I believe before this if the majority of the squadron was within 6" of the KFF (2/3 Kanz) then they would all be obscured.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that's how "obscured" works for squadrons.
This may be slightly off topic, but I enjoyed that OP so much, It almost inspired me to reply with a Dreadknight one
I'm glad you guys are enjoying this.
Speaking of Dreadknights, did you experience an initial appearance of them in your local meta and then a drop off over the summer? At least three local GK players started with them, and quickly shelved them in favor of psyfilemen and other GK goofery.
I might just have to have an episode of a dreadknight commiserating with Mr. Spite (the Chaos Dreadnaught) about being big models that get left out of lists.
Also, I'm working on F&B s' inevitable encounter with GK. I never did match up the ChaosSM with a GK list so F&B will be in for a surprise.
biccat wrote:...goes off to check if there's a new Ork FAQ.
edit: oh look, they nerfed KFF.
What do you mean? I'm not seeing any changes, but maybe I'm misreading it.
Q: What cover save does kustom force field give to a
vehicle within 6" of it? (p35)
A: 4+. Note that for a squadron of vehicles only those
within 6” of the custom force filed will count as
obscured.
I believe before this if the majority of the squadron was within 6" of the KFF (2/3 Kanz) then they would all be obscured.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that's how "obscured" works for squadrons.
"Hey, everyone, Bob here." "Hey." "Fred, too. We're here on the ... assembly counter - ?" "Paint station?" "Good enough. Paint Station. We've just gone online to see what's been happening in 40k since we were out of action from last May. It seems GK had a massive impact on 40k. Like, dominating the 'Ard Boyz in the US. "
"And the reaction to it, too. Like living in Sonoma County. Heh!" "Lolwut-huh? Sonoma? -- Dude, this is the 'Net, ya know www, World-WIDE -- tch, Sorry everyone, local reference. Sonoma County, California is wine country." "Lotsa wine, whining. Heh-heh." ... "I think it is really appropriate that my left hand is formed this way." ...
"Aaanyyyway, we haven't got the full scoop on the Grey Knights just yet, -- " "Other than they're dominating the local meta and from what we know about their fluff, daemons are -- " " -- but we thought we'd check out what's going to happen to our old crew. " "Unfortunately they're waay the heck up on the shelf and, winged daemons that we are, were not stupid enough to fly all the way up there. Damn near six feet off the floor. " "That kinda fall breaks plastic." "Aren't you Nurgle tough?" "Daemon toughness works with dice and in battle. It won't do me, or *you* any good in a sixty inch fall to a concrete floor." "Point taken. I'm all for missing out on model convalescence. Pinning, paint touch ups -- "
"Instead, we'll check in with a Chaos Marine who is more accessible ... oh, damn. I forgot his name." " ... dude, I don't remember either. How many games was he with us, like two?" "Losses both, as I recall."
"Hey, uh, Chaos Lord ... Sorcerer. Been a while, eh?"
"Yeah, like 15 boring months since you guys got assembled and painted ... and *I* got left on the counter with the other Works-In-Progress, damnit!" "Hey, man, we got in like one 8 week league and then had to ride out the rest of 2011 on the shelf while the Dark Eldar kept getting to play."
"If I had fingers, I'd make that 'world's smallest violin' gesture."
"Dude, I don't need my fingers OR arms to kick your a---" "--- Let's save the fighting for the battle field, eh?" "I'm beginning to wonder about you, Fred. What kinda daemon doesn't like strife?"
"Pfff. *If* I ever get to fight. I'm on my fourth set of dual amputations, because at first dual lightning claws looked good, and then it was having a daemon weapon. But then, all the 'Net-heads said the best HQ was Lash/Sorcerer so that axe thing got pulled off, but I can't Sweep Advance or ride in a rhino, norseeoutoftheLandRaider -- but then after THAT it comes up that you DPs are better for the points, so I got benched."
"Bummer, man." *Now* I'm eventually gonna get that fist/lighting claw thing and a cast-off Assault-on-BlackReach sergeant's power sword. I'll be an Abaddon conversion."
*eyebrow raise* "More like proxy." "CONVERSION. Anyway, what do you two want?"
"We were just checking in ... with you, 'cause the other Chaos guys are way, way up on the shelf. Just finding out if you knew ... ya know, whether or not you were gonna get any game time ... " "What do you think?" "So how long has this Abaddon idea been stalled?"
"Nothing has happened since November."
... ... ...
"Eh, what's that?" "The 3rd edition Hive Tyrant?"
"No, the body on the screw? What the heck?" "It's a stalled Conversion. Another one. Terivgon, maybe. Before I got here."
... ... ...
"But, it's not *all* bad, I mean those two girls keep me company, know what I mean?"
"Huh? Speak up, man." "Those. Girls."
"Yer desperate. I'm a Slaanesh Daemon, but I wouldn't want those hydra gauntlets near me." *snicker*"And I wonder why their faces are covered up." *sngggnsss* "Ha!" "*snicker*" "What? Hey! Is that jerk trying to talk about us? Get bent. We don't talk to him! Loser! Never even been in a game!"
"Did too!" "In your dreams." "And that's the only place that you'll ever even *touch* us!" "*If* you ever get arms."
"No I was really, I kicked ass on Crisis Suits, you shoulda seen it ... "
"Um, yeah. Good luck with that. ... Let's bail, man." "Pathetic. Didja see the layer of dust on him? "Damn-straight I noticed. We might end up the same if we don't become part of a kick-ass, competitive army."
Editorial: this is what happens a lot. An FAQ brings about a change, alters the effectiveness of certain key units, or even the overall function of an army and well .... One might hope that GW has set a goal to have *all* the armies on equal footing, with no book say, four years apart? That isn't sarcasm. I think it's do-able.
"Alright then. I guess we're shelved until 6e."
"Don't you mean until we get a new codex? Or do you think we'll be nerfed and stupid with 6th Editions's rules. And then be decent when our book month is released months later?"
"I dunno."
"I wanna know what's up with these white bases. When are we getting Snakebite Brown?"
"I'm hopin' for Matt Ward to write it."
. . .
. . .
"Let's not cry too much. The tau have been on the shelf for over a year."
"A year? I'm gonna go crazy with boredom taking this who-knows-how-long dirt nap."
"Foam nap."
"Well, 'dirt-nap' if you're a Plague Marine. All that crud in your joints. It is called Devlon Mud for a reason. Haw, haw, haw!"
"Oh, shut up."
"G'night guys."
"Good night, Brother Milton."
"Good night, Brother Argle."
"We're *not* on Walton's Mountain! And the joke is *really* old, damnit! Just shut up!"
"Good night, Brother Pete."
"Good night, Brother Blecch."
"Good night, Aspiring Champion Uberbad Destroyer of Souls of Cestalon IV."
"Good night Lord ChainAxe Hella Neck Cleaver, Skull Champion of Khorne."
Anyone think maybe GW nerfed the DPs to try to get some Chaos Lord action in again? Besides just being mean that is the only logical reason I could seem them doing that. I may dust off my old lord and stick him with some berserkers and let 'em fly.
Rsma77 wrote:Anyone think maybe GW nerfed the DPs to try to get some Chaos Lord action in again? Besides just being mean that is the only logical reason I could seem them doing that. I may dust off my old lord and stick him with some berserkers and let 'em fly.
What's really sad is that I just figured that can either switch ChaosLord/Sorcerer's head for a BloodLetter's head and he's more than halfway to being a Skulltaker conversion. A Sword in one hand and another hand with a skull in another hand.
And yes, I *do* think it makes sense that GW looks at certain models, observe the discrepancies between what inventory is moving and what is not. And then decide that January's annual FAQ release should be geared toward the slow seller. *If* I were beholden to the stock-holders, then yeah, I'd do it. I'd feel dirty, but I'd do it.
Rsma77 wrote:Anyone think maybe GW nerfed the DPs to try to get some Chaos Lord action in again? Besides just being mean that is the only logical reason I could seem them doing that. I may dust off my old lord and stick him with some berserkers and let 'em fly.
Doubt it, considering the more recent and more expensive Daemon Prince plastic kit.
That and Warptime & LoS aren't exclusive to just Daemon Princes...
MrMoustaffa wrote:That part at the end of the FAW one where they're reaching for each others' hands was perfect, makes you feel major sympathy for Fred and Bob.
Supreme Kal wrote:That was random
Actually it was. I took the shot and realized that they were close enough together that the hands over lapped, appearing to being clasped. Kept it and wrote dialogue accordingly. Just one of those magical, unplanned cinematic moments. And yes, even for bad-ass, uber evil, twisted and sick creatures that Daemon Princes are supposed to be, I was wondering if it would evoke sympathy for them.
Thanks. Now, I know that it was a mission accomplished.
MrMoustaffa wrote:Random question but what inspired you to do this kind of thing btw?
The recent FAQs. JotWWW and BA's Blood Lance get flipped off of needing to be rolled to hit, while Lash gets put *on* "needs to roll to hit". Not a major nerf at al, but royally inconsistent on GW's part. And they had the opportunity to do it with last year's January FAQ release, and the year before ....
Major of course, is the Warp Time errata idiocy.
- - A webcomic, Turn Signals on a Land Raider (look it up) had the same plot-format as Bob & Fred; GW models interacting off game, in their little world of other GW models, game tables, wins-losses, painting stations, etc. Although TSOALR was drawn. - -
It that vein, I figured that a Warp Time daemon, a major staple of Chaos:CSM, would have a major bitch-fest about the change and ... well, instead of *me* complaining in a thread, why not put down what the model itself would say and subsequently do? Which led to the episode of the Chaos Dreadnaught's (Mr. Spite) revelation of being less of a hindrance in a list, and so forth.
For now, I'm waiting for something funny, err, funnier, to come up. I don't want to dilute what's been done (I mean, I went for the Walton's Mountain 'good-night John-boy' gag ) . At some point, B&F will have a scene with GKs. Hopefully, I can make it good.
Thanks, all, for the continuing support.
It does really suck to be a Chaos player in 40k right now...
My own Daemon army is getting sick an tired of all the local 'counts as' Durp Knights showing up. I can't wait to see Fred & Bob in a senario along the lines of;
- Smack-talking against the GK's
- Rolling up the wrong wave and watching first turn on the sidelines
- GK's going first and warp quaking the entire table
- 1st wave auto-mishapping everywhere they land
- F&B come in out of reserve, survive the shooting of a 5-man strike squad + psyfleman dread and then wreck them in combat! Insert more smack-talk - Pair of Dreadknights mug F&B and dark ex them.
Could be pretty damn funny, even if a bit scripted. But GK's can easily maul Daemons without effort if they want to.
Experiment 626 wrote:Love this thread!
I can't wait to see Fred & Bob in a senario along the lines of;
- Smack-talking against the GK's
- Rolling up the wrong wave and watching first turn on the sidelines
- GK's going first and warp quaking the entire table
- 1st wave auto-mishapping everywhere they land
- F&B come in out of reserve, survive the shooting of a 5-man strike squad + psyfleman dread and then wreck them in combat! Insert more smack-talk - Pair of Dreadknights mug F&B and dark ex them.
Could be pretty damn funny, even if a bit scripted. But GK's can easily maul Daemons without effort if they want to.
This batrep contains some of the fun you hinted at, only versus necrons. The game in the batrep was actually a game. The following though ...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Hi folks. Bob here. Say 'Hi' Fred." "Hi." "We just had our first game as daemons without power armor." "Did not go well." "You can check out the fiasco here."
"Fiasco? We only lost by a KP or two ... of which you were the first, huh? Heh, heh." *sigh* "Yeah, well, somebody had to take the brunt of Turn 1 shooting. Simply the way Daemon Assault functions. We knew it when we signed on. As I recall, you were the next to sit on the bench, eh? Couldn't hit a Command Barge?"
"At least *I* got to hit some robots. It was fun too, they make a kind of ... crunch, squeal as the metal tears apart. VERY satisfactory."
...
"Anyway, it's post game time and now that we're at Game Empire, Pasadena, our FavoriteLocalGameStore, we thought we'd check in with a couple of the other armies."
"Hello, ladies. You lost your game to Necrons, too. What do you think of their new book?"
"Hell, no. You're not dragging us into another nerd-rage-athon about Ward's writing, codex creep -- "
" Creep is applicable in so many ways."
" -- and the direction 40k is taking."
"Yeah, has been. You're not Dick Cavett."
"We like to stick to killing and causing pain on the battle field."
"Not Johnny Carson, either."
"I supposed they're causing pain and anguish with their crappy Talk-Show. What's it called, Bob and Fred's Bore Fest ?"
"More like Larry King with wings for suspenders."
"Geez, girls, what the hell? What're you so pissed off about? You finished 'Ard Boyz basically tied for 3rd & 4th with Space Wolves -- " " -- Got yer facts right?"
"Close enough, man ." "Despite us being females, we do *not* prefer to spend our time talking. Now, we don't care if you excuse us or not, but we've got an appointment to go club some power armor."
"What? White Scars, again?" "No, smurfs." "Hell, yes!!"
"Wow. Them are some angry sows." "Yeah, insert uptight, never-gets-any elf-chick redundant comment here, huh? "Yeah, heh. "Hey, BloodCrusher! How'd you feel about our premier?" "Yeah, you're so new, you don't even have primer. Heh." "Primer or painted, me and by buds did a helluva lot better than you two 'veterans'. One unit of scarabs and some robots. Not bad, not great. It was okay. Given that we cost less than you do, even as a unit, and only two more wounds, same saves, I'd say that I'm pretty damn happy to be a BloodCrusher."
" ... " "There's not much of a comeback to that trash talk, is there?" " ... "
"Seize Ground, four objectives. Um, look for the primer-white forty mil bases."
"Hey, I see one on the bunker."
"There's another by some Area Terrain."
"There's one in between some ruins and the last is by the Dangerous, Spiky terrain. It looks a little tight in there, so maybe the little guys go after it?"
"Smart thinking. Bloodletters, you guys go after the first and last markers and we'll contest the others."
"Dangerous Terrain! Hawt!" "Sounds like a plan!"
*Later, around Turn 4 *
""Bunker secure!" "Alright! We got one!" ... "Huh? I don't get it."
"Seriously? We're daemons!" "Right, man, Khorne Bloodletters! Burning hot scions of Hate and Violence. Why would we want to douse all that makes us unholy? "
"Objectives. Hah. I get it ." ... "Maybe this would help with my anger management issues."
"If I did this, I'd end up as green as Bob. I'll get my veggie servings from Dr. Pepper."
Fred's Punchline for those 'Over 21' - "I think I'll get my veggie servings in Tequila Sunrises."
"Hi folks. Bob here. Say 'Hi' Fred." "Hi." "We finally got around to talking to some GKs, Grey Knights." "Yeah. But it's not like we were afraid to talk to 'em. Ya know?" . . . "What?" "Don't even bring that up, man." "Sorry, it'd just been a bit since we were on ... " "Hi, guys. I take it that you've been rocking the tournament scene."
"About time too. Stuck in old codex purgatory for a decade-"
"Exaggerate much?"
"-- do you mind? And yeah, it was since early third edition. Anyway, pay back has been coming a long time."
"Well, yeah. I suppose so. I mean to be cool, congratulations on the recent 'Ard Boyz successes and all that. Maybe we can mix it up and get a game in. Whatya say?" "You don't want to tangle with us."
"No way."
"Why?" "Warp Quake."
"We've got three kinds of grenades which neuter you faster than an Arkansas piglet in spring."
"Basically, with any list, you're gonna take it in the teeth. You can bring FateCrusher or Plaguer GD spam. Coteaz, any librarian and strike squads are gonna give you guys headaches. We were tooled to beat daemons. Go play some of Phil Kelly's space dogs. You can handle that."
"Actually, I'm kinda surprised to see that anybody would be dumb enough to still field daemons. Given how many of our powers stop you in your tracks, you have virtually no chance against us."
"I seem to recall Blessing of the blood something ... " "Yeah, man. But that'd be switching to *red* dude. I just can't hang with the whole blood angle." "Don't be a wuss, Fred." "It's not the sticky stuff, I just don't see black and red as looking as slick as I look now. *You* on the other hand, could do with some improvement." "What's wrong with how I look?!" "Nothing, man. But by definition, nurgle's boyz are not gonna make a best dressed list, know what I'm sayin'?" "Are you sure you didn't start out as a Blood Angel before succumbing to Slaanesh?"
"Always the way with the ruinous powers. Given long enough, they fight each other."
"Huh? Wha -- ? Get bent, purity-boy. Prolly never kissed a girl in your life." "Get a color scheme, too, why doncha?" "What's wrong with silver?"
"At least we worship gods that makes sense, even twisted sense." "Yeah, not like some other god with the initials M.W."
. . . *smirk* "You liked that last shot?" "Yeah, Fred. I did."
I forgot to give props and Thanks to poster Dok, for the use of his GK models. Thanks, man.
"Hey folks. Bob here. Fred will be along in a minute. First a shout out to the players at the Bay Area Open. We at ... heck, do we qualify as actually having a name, Bob&Fred? Oh, yeah, it's 'Quitting DPs.' Anyway, from us, to all those cats in the Bay Area, we hope your games are going great and the event is running smoothly. I say this, 'cause, you know, we're not there."
"So, a good time to brush up on things, tactics forums, lists, GW releases. Hey, 'Finecast' rumors about quality control memos to Indie Retailers. That's funny. Heh. Resin."
**snicker**
"Whatcha doin', man?" "Flame War with some guy on-line." "Wow. Must be uber bored, huh?" "Uber." . . . "We're not on the battle field pounding or getting pounded. I needed some conflict, especially since we haven't had any action lately. Especially today." "What was today?" "Today? Dude! Bay Area Open! Like the best of the best throwin' down. Prolly more cut-throat than 'Ard Boyz, and we missed it !! "
"Oh." . . . "What's the flamage all about?" "Rules forum. Question was about pivoting vehicles and gaining more than your twelve inches." **snicker**
"I got more than twelve inches -- " "-- On your tape measure. Let's keep the comedy clean, here, Slaanesh Boy." "Heh. Had to try. Anyway, is it the old, pivot ninety degrees, gaining an inch or more and then going twelve?" "Yeah. I'm arguing against it just to be a douche." "That is uncool, man. Heh, I like it."
**highfive**
"Hey, scroll up a bit." "Huh? Okay." "Aw, you turkey! The thread is like two weeks cold. Check it, Mid February!" "Uh, well, that's not too long." "Thred-o-mancer! NooB! You totally spelunked down to like the third page, huh? Haw, Haw!" "Fine, I'll just delete the post. But it totally woulda faced that nosferato, guy. I mean P'wned."
"Oh-muh-gosh, oh-muh-gosh!"
"I can't believe it either! We survived and beat scorpions!"
"Rending rules! Rocked you like a - - "
" -- hurricane. Yeah, never heard that one."
"Now that they're on their last tour, maybe it'll drop by the time sixth edition rolls around."
"Doubt it."
"Yeee!"
** high two **
"Squished Fire Dragons. Righteous." "Yeah, yeah, one attack each and armor four, which got ignored. Give yourself a metal."
"I think I'll do better than that, man:
I gotta post game interview,
With a brew!"
"And a trashed transport on the base objective! Contested! Hot damn!"
"Alright, hell-crew. We kicked some space elf self-esteem. Props all around." "Go ahead and tell off those pixies, little 'dees' . " "See ya, emos!"
"Next time, bring Eldrad!"
"Bring an Avatar!"
"Bring Jim Cameron!" "Time to celebrate?" "Yep. Time to celebrate."
"Kewl."
"I'm gonna get trashed!"
"Heya, little dees. Get loaded with us and we'll take you for a ride?"
"Is there room for a couple of us on your rides, dee-chicks?"
"Done and done!"
"Bob, are you diggin' the color symmetry?" "Now that you mention it, yeah. Something subliminal in our paint scheme?" "Heh. No coincidence here."
"Okay, let's pop this thing and - - " "Start the pahtay!!"
. . . . . . . . .
. . .
"I guess, Fred, that while you picked up on the purple opener and green bottle, I think we both underestimated the scale of our ambitions. I think we have a better chance of beating Coteaz Grey Knights than we do getting this thing open." "Where is a Warhound Titan when you need one?"
"I see you got the MasterCard out. We gettin' any new units?" "Putting it away actually. I checked and the card is maxed out on gasoline purchases and stuff from a store called Bevmo. After the first of the month it'll be paid off enough to make a few purchases. Just a week or two and we will be part of a truly competittve FateCrusher daemon list. "
"Cool, another unit of BloodCrushers? Maybe another DP? A fearsome trio?"
. . . "I don't think so, man." . . . "Damn."
"Well, we can always celebrate the demise of any further Grey Knight or Blood Angel SRG spam." "It also means that we're not getting any more Seekers, Fiends or BloodCrushers -- units we need to get competitive. We might be stuck as a medicore list. We'll just perform poorly."
"Good evening. I'm Land Raider Betrayal with the daily finance report. The Stock Market has seen a lot of action with Facebook going public as well as a lot of buzz regarding some older, established stocks. We go to expert consultant Land Raider Crusader Gladius."
"Good evening, Betrayal."
"Gladius, let's get right to it. How are things on Wall Street?"
"First, don't let the OWS rumors about police taking off their helmets and joining protesters panic you. Any pictures you see on the web are CGI hoaxes. Like the pancake edition."
"Just anarchists to stir things?"
"Right, Betrayal. Just the great unwashed trying to convince the Internet that the Civil Authorities are backing their play, but totally untrue."
"Everyone needs to keep calm and focus on the goal : making money. And there's a couple very hot stocks I would pounce on. With Greece getting evicted from the EU, it's to GB that we look for some meaningful investments, that my sources in Nottingham indicate are going to jump dramatically in price."
"What're those?"
"I recommend the Heavies, transportation and the combination thereof:
Stock listings LRC, LRR and SRG are likely, if my sources are right, to go through the roof. The smart investor will jump on those quickly."
"What about LR?"
. . .
"Well, by being close to the better, more powerful stocks, LRR and especially LRC, yes, LR will do okay. But the reall killing will be the varient stocks."
. . .
"How about Facebook? How's that doing?"
"An FB share is not worth the towel I wipe my exhaust with."
"Alright, thank you, Gladius. This was the Financial report. Thank you, our viewing audience."
"'Heya, folks, Bob here. Still an ex-Nurgle CSM Daemon Prince. Still not playing games. Well, I did have a brief stint as a proxy carnifex,
but that didn't last passed Turn 2. So, back to 'Quitting DPs'.
Today's topic:
Conversions. Hobbyists all try it and some do a better job than others. So, chicks usually get a derisive pan from us guys, 'cause ya know, we can't think passed a pair of boobs, but there's a set here ... well. Let's ask them. You ladies, err, women? You are actually Blood Angels?"
"Damn right we are children of the great Ward. Superior hand-to-hand Psy-powers, a superior HQ choice, the magnificent Lord of death, better vehicles. Our beautific looks, our mere visage causes opponents to quail in doubt. We rock. Daemon douche."
"Whoa! Do you really want to open up things with a 'douche' reference? I mean the places I can go with that , *you* being the females and all ... " "You are traitor scum."
"Well, yeah, in the fluff of the game. But this is an interview for the Internet, you know *outside the game*?" "What does "Outside the game" mean?"
. . .
"Um, Fred. Let's go to you. What've you got for us?" "Well, dreadnought number 31 has a more realistic view of things than the gals with you, Bob." "Yes, Fred. Having my body replaced by a sarcophagus, thus preventing the influence of estrogen in my cognitive combat processes has greately improved my outlook."
"No kiddin'." "I understand the finer nuances of combat resolution, such as Wound Allocation Shenanigans as well as the previous edition of the denied kill zone and the hidden power fist."
"Impressive. Most impressive." "Don't quote Darth Vader. He's above you."
"Lol. Wut?" "I understand to trash gaunts and the have Hive Tyrants take 'NRetreat' saves. The same with you and smashing Chaos marines. But don't feel bad. There's hope. You have 6th edition and a new codex soon. You will relinquish your 'Ass of 40k' title to Tau by the end of August."
""Um, thanks." "Don't mention it."
--Thanks to Phaze 24 for the use of his models. Nice racks all around, and I don't mean 'wracks'. Hope things rock for you in Az.
I just realized that I'd posted this one-off in the fiction forum, in a thread that was jokingly about about praising Mat Ward when the 'Net rage for him was still strong ... say February?
Enjoy:
"Come on, guys. What they're saying about the Sisters and the daemon sword -- ." "Was it Mournblade or Stormbringer?" " -- it's not true, is it?" "Yeah, 'cause blood stains are really hard to remove from ceramite."
"We categorically deny that any Grey Knight operations ever happened. In fact, what categorically deny that we even exist."
"Yep. You're not even talking to us. You're just dreaming about Matt Ward."
"MaT Ward. One 'tee'."
"Oh, right."
. . . . . . . . .
"Actually we used Coca-Cola to remove the blood stains from our armor. Works better than Shout."
"What's with the name dropping?"
"We got a product placement gig. We're using the cash to finance our new shrine to Mat, back on Titan."
"I'm ethereal T'cha !. I'd like to comment on 6e. I could say something, but a gesture often says more. However, because I'm a cheap conversion with no arms, I've asked Bob to help me respond to the "Challenges" part of 6th edition hand-to-hand combat."
"Thanks, Bob."
"Sure thing, man."
...
"So, it's like a Clint Eastwood serape thing?" "Something like that."
"Sorry, but it looks pretty crappy, your serape. Heh, heh." "I read that Divination psychers get what should have been old Warp Time. Power Armor armies and space elves. Precog-something? And bummer, a fresh set of FAQs that *could* have fixed it for you, but did not."
"Don't push your luck, Mr. No Armor Save."
**
For the record, I'm pretty darned happy with 6e. Ethereal T'cha!'s editorial is his own.
I hope your Daemon Princes do an editorial on how awesome they are in 6th edition in a Chaos Daemons army! They should get Fateweaver on the show to discuss how helpful he is to them. I'm looking forward to it
"Okay, so there's like two frakkin' - - Wait. As I Was. Sorry.
Hi. Bob here, with an episode of Quitting DPs. Sixth edition is barely out and I've been wading through the rules.
. . .
I'm just a little ticked-off about this. There are two, yes *TWO* danged powers in the Divination section that are pretty much what Warp Time used to be, and by the unholy gods, this is a section CSM are *not* entitled to. Seriously, WTF?"
"Instead, it's power armored bozos like these guys, who can now do, what by all rights, was *MY* thing to do." "Oh, shove it, cry baby. 4e vanilla marines codex, page twenty six; Veil of Time was the same thing.
Check the silver lining and quit being so negative. I mean you got to enjoy Warp Time throughout 4e's end and through most of 5e. I mean, take a look at how crappy Eye of Tzeentch was in the 3e C:CSM. " "How bad was it?" "One hit, save or to wound roll." . . . "Now that you've got some perspective, scope out the Flying/jumping Monstrous rules. You'll have fun with your buddies Fred and Kairos I'm a third level Master." "Dungeon Master" *snirk* "Shut up, man, wrong game." "Bob, you got some definite love 6e out of that. Completely new tactics, and off-hand, some bad-ass ones." "Yeah, you pretty much turned into a Necron Command Barge. And don't complain to us about nerfs. While we got a massive load of psy-powers to choose from, our stupid hats are really just that now. Cosmonaut style head covers." "Pff, psy-hood, more like psy-shell. I'm always hearing the ocean, so I think my com-link is off." "lolwut?" "Sorry, but this isn't funky old-assed librarians resurface for Quitting DPs time. It's about giving away what was CSM property - - "
"Giving away what and to whom? How is it that you're crying about *anything* psy-related when CSM have access to three sections, when WE eldar, the acknowledged foremost psychers in-the-game, are relegated to a mere two?"
"And how is it that farseers are a mere level one? Warlocks are a one, not a zero (always on Pfff! ) , farseers at least a two, make sense? Power Armor bias. Again. So, shut up. *Bob*."
"Besides, we're gonna love going all ... how'd you put it ? "Going all Matrix?"
"Feh. Yeah, daemon prince . "
"Bite me, man." "We will. Witch-blades for teeth. With re-rolls to hit and wound. Only the ones that fail."
"FML."
"Fred here. Been pretty busy lately. I've commanded two victories into sixth edition, beating enemy Chaos Marines and some of Pedro Kantor's sissies today. And I wanted to give a shout out to some new buds. Do I got your names right? h'Ui, l'Ui and d'Ui? "
"Hello, It's d'Ui. du - ew - ee."
"Hi."
"Is this live or can I call my cadre mother? When's it gonna be on?"
"Silence. Shoot your guns, not your mouths. This is great. A little help from allies that can handle the hand to hand duties and we'll be seen on battle fields everywhere."
"That's be my guess. Railguns in pretty much every army except the pariahs, aka 'nids. A FireKnifeHQ to boot? Yeah, you're gonna be busier than a 70s Time Square Street Walker." "Is that a new kind of necron walker, with the Quantum Metal, Living Shield thing?" . . . . . .
"Well, just so everyone knows. We sport the best frakking gun in the game and yer gonna see us everywhere! Like Sheriff Woody said when he did that creepy head turning, Exorcist thing, EV EERRR EEEE WHHEERRRR!!! "
**
1. Those are FW b-sides, costing me an extra $10 or so. Worth it not to have to deal with the heavy metallic RG bits.
2. And yes, I did field 2 b-sides with my C:CSM list today. With a FK+ HQ. I even brought crackers and wine.
3. Yeah, the XV88s are Huey, Dewey and Louie, but not for Donald's nephews. For bonus points, who are the other H, D & L?
"Bob here. A lot of the new Special Rules don't correspond to anything in the old codexes, not yet anyway. A lot of predictamancy is going on--"
"Divination." "Huh?" "Divination. Yer stealing the term 'Predictamancy' from that erfworld webcomic. Stick with 40k stuff."
"Right, man. So we're checking out a few of the Special Rules and near the top of the alphabet is 'bulky'. I'm wondering if new erratas and codexes might actually get us MCs into transports." "Why 'bulky' though? How come not 'High Occupancy' or such? It's what departments of transportation use. Maybe 'bulky' is some kinda slight on our size?" "Yeah, it's not very Politically Correct. Tch. Very bulky."
...
" 'Bulky' being your average 40k player." "Heh. Very Bulky being the average 40ker players' g/f." "Like the average 40ker has a girl friend." "Heh. Extremely bulky being your average RPG player." "Sngxxs !! Ouch. ... That's just mean."
This is a bit dated. Figure May 2012. 'Course, when hasn'tGW had wallet gouging price hikes?
"Hi, Bob, here. With the recent GW price hikes, we thought it would be a good idea to look into deeper storage for any models that could be still used in today's late 5th edition 40k. Instead of spending more cash, you know, for Finecast ... insert derogatory pun here, you know, fine crap, fail cast, et cetera."
"There was a lot to look through."
"After some digging, I unearthed these guys. I'd bet that Indiana Jones never came up with anything so ancient."
"Hey, that's funny. Who knew that a Nurgle daemon would be funny?"
"That's just it. He ain't funny."
"Maybe a Ttzeentch daemon could pull off something. Or George Carlin."
"Maybe Rowan Atkinson."
"He *is* a Tzeentch daemon."
"Benny Hill?"
"Slaanesh."
"Oh, right. Well, Atkinson, I think he *is* Tzeentch."
"Hello? I'm standing right here-" "Which doesn't make you a stand up comic now does it?"
"Unholy gods, I can't catch a break."
"Something a bit off topic for the usual Quitting DPs episode. I mean we can't bitch and complain about GW or 40k all the time, right?" "Wrong." "Shut up, Fred."
"I was looking through the previous QDPs, and noticed something that Fred missed, concerning these clowns:"
"Now, Poppa Nurgle isn't a young buck, even by Slaneesh's measure, so a lot of us are older and have seen some ancient vids. Fred missed the significance on h'Ui, l'Ui and d'Ui.
Turns out, one failed its Dangerous Terrain roll, one was Tank Shocked by an ATV, and only the last one made it through to the end.
So, for the Broadsides, perhaps not the most auspicious names.
Nothing else funny to point out, just two out of three doomed robotic suits.
. . .
Heh, heh.
. . .
I'd slip in an E.T. joke but one botanist sci-fi reference is enough for the day."
Credit for the Silent Running observation actually goes to poster AmmishJohn. I added on the E.T. thing. Thanks, AJ.
"As one would expect, we're having a party to celebrate another Phil Kelly book." "If anything, it might be the best laid out, most organized book from 40k. Evah.
a. bright colored page numbers, in the corner, not the middle of the page
b. fold out reference charts
c. page numbers on nearly every reference
Fookin' amazing."
"And that coming from a ADHD, Slanny daemon."*** "Dick."
"Yeah, well, we called it. Here come the Daemon Princes crawling back. Except, guess what, bitches?"
"You ain't so cool anymore!"
"Overpriced, douche bags is more like it!"
"Yeah, the real damned injustice is that we actually have freakin' Morale Checks to make. Last codex a nerf on Toughness. NOW!?!? We lose Fearless? Oh, for Hell's sake! We're gonna end up like Swooping Hawks!"
"Huh? Swooping Hawks?"
"On the shelf, idiot!"
"What are you complaining about? MY CAPACITY STILL BLOWS. I HAVE ACCESS TO A DEFF-ROLLA KNOCK OFF, BUT **BIG** DEAL."
"Dude, I lost my whole identity --
"Alright. Alright. Sheesh. Let's let a few weeks pass before we get our knickers ** in a bind. Combos to be explored. Maybe Spawn shadowing a Lord onna bike. New models to break in. Mutie somethings." "And Forehead fiends, or such ... as for the rest - Uptight buncha nerds, huh?" "Yeah. At least the codex creep has stopped." "Yeah, it did. ... But on our turn?" " . . . damn. No punchline to that. "
***Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
** - a minor bit of props to our UK viewers, because nobody in the USA calls pants "knickers" .
JbR of the Endless Spire wrote: And now we face the realisation that Phil Kelly has done it again with a rather underwhelming codex... why PK? Why him? Why not Mat Ward?
Because Mat Ward is known to be the worst codex writer in recent times, churning out undercosted/overpowered codexes that break the game? When you compare a smart bomb to a nuke, the nuke looks like the "better" option, because it is certainly more powerful, until you realize that the nuke is not suited for all engagements. Bad analogy, I know, but I am hoping you see my point. Stop wishlisting for a Ward-esque facemelting codex.
Great stuff man. Just spent the last hour cruising through your thread and grinning all the way. Gotta keep productive in these hard economic times y'know, keep my nose to the grindstone and brush up on all the latest market trends with the newly released IPOs and Codex stocks.
Despite the general reception to the latest out of Dow Jones and the CSM 500 regarding sub-prime Warp securities and the lack of interest from secondary lean holders, I interpret the low asset creepage to be a good sign. My calculations on the new assets indicate excellent cutbacks and increased efficiency in many product lines which certainly deserved some attention.
I'd like to also extend a non-time sensitive offer for temporary employment to you both. I sense in the future some of my current.. ahem.. employees may be evacuating realspace with little notice, and I would like to retain your gribbly services on a no contract basis to stand in for these schmucks. Try to be aware and sensitive however that the other employees may be a bit perturbed seeing you in the office. See, I'm telling some of them that if they make the right moves (and rolls) they could receive a promotion.
I even gave them all raffle tickets and told them that every 65th and 66th ticket would be a winner.
But let's keep that a secret just between you and me, okay?
Pay of course is non-negotiable and I retain the right to not retain you at any time and without notice. I'm sure you understand that in such a heavily competitive market the offer remains generous even without a guarantee for longterm employment (whatsoever whether implied or explicit).
~Yours truly,
The 'Don
CEO - Black Legion & Affiliates, Inc.
"Although I'm a daemon, you know, all about pain and harshness, I'm not looking forward to telling the old daemon crew we're going back to being CSM." "Cool. I don't want to miss this. They're gonna be pissed off. And those Bloodletters have worse potty mouths than Plague Marines." "Typical drama queen, you." "Damn straight." "I thought Slaneeshi were anything but straight, rainbow boy." "Heh, I got no shame." " ... except when you fail enough armor saves at a crucial junction during a battle and we lose the game?" . . .
"I'm not so worried about the troops; It's the old boss that has me spooked. I never did get used to one head looking elsewhere while talking to the other. Kinda ... unsettling in a way that zealous inquisitor can't match." "Kairos knew we were gonna go back, so he left early." " ... like he's done in every battle." "Yeah, 333 points of Kim Kardashian. Show up, look pretty. Get hit on by every body and then bail."
JbR of the Endless Spire wrote: And now we face the realisation that Phil Kelly has done it again with a rather underwhelming codex... why PK? Why him? Why not Mat Ward?
Because Mat Ward is known to be the worst codex writer in recent times, churning out undercosted/overpowered codexes that break the game? When you compare a smart bomb to a nuke, the nuke looks like the "better" option, because it is certainly more powerful, until you realize that the nuke is not suited for all engagements. Bad analogy, I know, but I am hoping you see my point. Stop wishlisting for a Ward-esque facemelting codex.
Yes because Ward created Space wolves (undercosted to a horrible degree) and 4th edition Eldar (Overpowered), and Imperial Guard (Undercosted). No his Space marine codex (Mid tier) and blood angels (Mid tier) are also overpowered.
At the very least Ward throws in some fluffy wargear options!
"He almost said, 'lads' ."
"Better than Po or Tinky-Winky."
"Heh. La-las."
I
"It's going to be close, Enlightened One." II
"If we can survive this horde, we can win."
III
IV
"What we need is to not roll so many danged ones!"
V
"It'd be helpful with the stupid pathfinders hadn't folded up!"
(earlier, on Turn 3):
"Fall Back, little la-las! Haw, haw, haw!"
"Well, it's a new edition. Isn't there a game mechanic that we can exploit?" VI
VII
"Yes, there is, but Enlightened One, you're not going to like it."
"If it's for the Greater Good, then speak up, Shas'Ui."
VIII
"Well, Aun T'cha, You're going to have to die as per Price of Failure. And do it, like now, before our shooting phase. Assuming we pass the Morale Check and stay, we'll have Preferred Enemy "
"That did not do us much Good in the past."
"Yes, Fearless leader, but now it gains us re-rolls of ones. Even in shooting."
... "Very well, this may well serve the Greater Good for the better. But how can I perish on our Turn to benefit our Shooting Phase?"
"It's called Leap Down. You take a Dangerous test, and there's no save for you. Since you're already wounded, this will make you a casualty and ... well, you know the rest."
"You're right, I'm not going to like it, but very well. For the Grea - - !!"
IX
. . .
"Sorry, man, but that won't fly. You need at least three inches to gain the wound." IX.2
IX.3
"Actually it does, the three inches just incurs a minus one on the D-roll."
X.5
"Just a penalty? Oh, okay. You do have that six inch bastion close by. Just do a Difficult Terrain roll here and Move to the Bastion. Embark, and then Leap to your Price of Failure next turn. The extra inches will help the biff roll with negative modifiers." X
"Sounds like a plan. Thanks. Aren't you supposed to be over there, breathing in the FireStorm's face?"
"Yeah, I'll get back to my spot. I don't cheat, man." XI
"It's a good thing you do, Enlightened One." "Just start pasting daemons, eh?"
XII
XIII
"I suppose I could have started here. Giving Fearless to you XV88s."
"No arguments, here."
(one turn later):
"Okay, here goes. I'm gonna skip the Greater Good battle cry."
"Yeah. Fine with me." XIV
"Still alive? ... ugh. I can't believe I failed to biff the landing. I suppose I have the consolation that the blood letters will not be locked in combat so they can be shot up next Turn."
XV
(After game)
XVI
"Wow, man. Im sorry I made the wrong call. *Any* Leap Down causes a Dangerous Test. I messed up the three inch thing." "Prolly damn well cost my side the game."
"Ah, what? You can't forgive a little misquote on rules? The game is supposed to be about fun, huh?" "What am I supposed to do? Hum the I've learned something today music from South Park. Get bent, douche."
And really, didn't we all learn something from Bob's mistake?
Damn, that Ethereal botched his attempt at martyrdom. If he were a Sister of Battle, he'd be an awesome hero for surviving... or possibly be remembered as a failure. I forget how it works with Sisters of Battle. Celestine botched her attempt at martyrdom by surviving that one fight when she was still a Repentia, but it ended up with her becoming a Living Saint. I guess it depends on how things work out over time.
"Bob and Fred here. Been a year since we got boned on what you nooBs won't know about. Something wonderful called Lash o' --" "Bob! Dang. We're freakin' CHAOS!! And that means change, bitch. And that Lash o' Sub horse is well and truly beaten, turned into chair leather, Archy Bunker-assed out, put to the curb, and hauled off. Get over it." "Right. Anyway, someone else has taken a serious nerf given GW's January-annual, "Who're we gonna **** this year?" "Bob, I don't think even asterisks are okay. We're gonna get in trouble with the Admin of the 'site."
"No, in this situation, it's warranted and appropiate. Right Eldy?" ** sigh **
"Yeah, to have to actually get out and look at the battle. Guide some Dire Avengers ... I mean, I'm cool with the FootDar build and watching our Burning God lead the troops fearlessly into battle, but when i *could* still kick it inside my ride ... with my ipad bumpin', Corinthian leather upholstery, an elvish hottie pouring me another Mai-tai ... while the holofield fends off railgun rounds, with Fortuned Jink saves .... "
**sigh**
"I really don't like the smell of anything except recycled air through Wave Serpent A/C systems."
"And Mai-Tais. And sweaty elvish hottie phermones." "Shut up, Fred. Eldrad, what? Fresh air mess with your sensitive elf nose?"
"More like the polluted skies of the worlds befouled by Men and daemons, and pretty much the rest of the "sentient" filth of the galaxy. Even tau have a low-tide kinda smell."
"And well, I have to admit. Given that I'm the foremost talented pre-cog in the game, I didn't see this coming ... and all those sales on Timberlands just ended ... "
"Uh, dude, doncha think that Kairos holds that title?"
"Well, eldren, we're going to have to hit the shops. Windbreakers, thermal underwear, actual helmets, not just headgear and decent, battle functional boots."
"Outlets right?"
"Road-Trip! Vegas!!"
"Farseer Breakwind, you and your crew are going to have to forego those colors. White and mauve just aren't battleground savvy."
"Mauve? This is Liche Purple!"
"Do you think L.L. Bean will accept CraftWorld Credit cards?"
"As long as we don't have to actually go too rugged, like Big 5 or ... Sportmart!"
(all) "Eeewww!!"
"Easy now, we have bad enough a reputation as flits and fashionistas as is."
"Well, boys, I guess I'll bring a pinocle deck. Texas Hold'em or Bridge? Dominoes? Risk? I figured I'd be side-lined like you two. I mean you're not really seeing much action are you? As CSM or daemons, huh?"
"Well, there's developments on that. But that will be on the next episode of Quitting DPs."
"By the way, we gotta change the name. We keep coming up on 'Net SEARCHes for DP. The sort of ... hmm , how would we say this on a PG13 website? A dual lightning claw, vehicle penetration sort of 'Net SEARCH?"
"I don't see what's wrong with that." "No one would expect you to, Slaanesh boy."
** for non-USA readers, Big 5 and Sportmart are chain stores selling, you guessed it, outdoor gear, including hiking boots.
I wonder, can you get good hiking boots at Tesco in the UK?
And in case don't 'get what this episode is about, check out GW's latest Jan 2013 FAQs, Eldar specifically. But since my audience is smart, this clarification is only for the nooBs.
"Hey, folks. It's time to go check out GW's 'site. The February release of the new Daemon book is out --" " -- Suck it, tau players -- "
" -- Heh, yeah. They're still waiting for some update love. Anyway, we're back to management. Daemon Princes are *not* listed in the Heavy Support category. Grunt labor was cool for a while, but now we're off the Heavy rotation and back to wearing a tie and carrying clipboards." "Forget the corporate threads. There's a lot of new models being released. And I'm talking like Victoria's Secret models. I'm wondering if the new Slaanesh girls are going to be as hot in person and on the field." "Heh. You got a one track mind, Fred. Slut."
"I wonder if the screamer/flamer spam is gonna be the craze it is now. " "Yeah, that bit of broken cheese is gonna have a short shelf life, but don't quote me on that. Bad-Breathe of Chaos might just get a boost, or a nerf -- " "Assault 1 blast." "Oh, that'd cause players to become actual *screamers*." "Petulant little girls screamers." "Heh. Maybe they'll squeal like your little Slaany girls." "If only."
“Alright, daemonites, gather ‘round! It’s Uncle Fred’s story time.” “YAY!”
“Once upon a time, two god-titans fought a mighty battle. After a rough and terrible game, the end of turn 5 comes along and - -”
“Oooh, oooh, I know what happens! I know! The roll for game’s end happens! Right, Uncle Fred?”
“That’s right, little Plague Bearer. There’s a last die roll, to see if the game ends or continues on to another turn. Well, the one god-titan, who was winning, rolls the die and it lands on a large blast template.” “Oh, no! Blast template!”
"Eeeeee!"
“It’s okay, little Dees! The template was just sitting on the table, it wasn’t being used. You kids can relax.”
“So, if the template wasn't used for anything, was the game over?”
“Well, that’s just it, Kirby Khorne BloodLetter. The god-titan who needed the game to go on, to have a chance to win, didn’t think so. He asked the Ruling Supreme-god, whose name is Tee-Oh to come and Judge the roll. Here, I’ll cast a little seeing spell and you can see what happened.”
all - “Huh!?!?”
“What’s to judge, Uncle Fred? The die is flat.”
“Kirby, we need to finish our story. Now, Tee-Oh looked upon the situation and ruled that indeed, the battle was over. The god-titan who was going to lose pleaded his case - that it was *not* flat and needed to be rerolled. Mighty and Ultimate power, Tee-Oh looked at the die, looked closely, saw it sitting on the template, flat on the table’s surface. He looked up at the god-titan and passed Judgement. Game Over.”
. . .
“Uncle Fred? I don’t understand. The casino dice was on a template.”
“Yes, it was.”
“And casino dice are big, with *really* sharp edged.”
“Yes.”
“Not like smaller, pitted dice, with round edges that easily can be tilted by even the smallest of wrinkles on the surface.”
“Right again.”
** many daemons chatter and discuss **
“Uncle Fred, what was - -"
“ ... what was the losing g- - - wait, what the heck was that?!?”
“Um, looked like the steering control for maybe a ... jetbike?”
“And that? One of those razorwings?"
"Was that a cloud?”
“I guess so. Maybe.”
“Well, what do those have to do with the story?”
“Oh, nothing. Remember, we’re in the Warp and random, weird things happen. Like right now, you just turned into Hot Cheetos.”
“And now the ground is sandy, not green.”
“Uncle Fred, I’m scared.”
“You are a Fearless scion of Hate and Fury! These changes should NOT scare you.”
“Yeah, well, *I* am frightened. Some god-titan would so desperately want to win a game that he would ask Mighty Tee-Oh to rule on something so obvious - - “
“Don’t worry, Susie. Some god-titans are just crazy. But, Mighty Tee-Oh is not.”
I agree, should have been re-rolled. Flat is only flat when it's flat on the flat table... not the flat template. I can see grounds for a solid argument there, especially at a tournament.
These are some of the most solid model based toons I have seen, awesome. Keep 'em coming.
zoom, zoom, zoom!
“Cripes! Who’d have thought of running SM speeders? Squadrons of ‘em!? With dual HBs? *Backed* by Heavy Bolter Dev squads!? Pure dumb-assery!”
“I dunno, man, volume fire with Prescience?" “Yeah, Twin-linked for all sucks."
"Anyway, I’m gonna take off again and fry ‘em while FMC. ”
“‘Okay, Fred. I think I can flank the devs behind the short ruins, I think they’re blocked LoS -- “
brakada dakka dakka!!! dakka dakka dakka !!
"Then again, maybe a turn under cover is a good idea . . . . “
“Way to go, Fred! did he actually assault it? I don’t remember his fire sounding like that though .... ”
“ . . . “
“Bob?”
“Yeah, Fred, why'd you land?”
“Imperial boyz are all trashed. I can't claim the credit though. Seems like we've been joined by a Gundam Wing reject. I didn’t know we allied with the space elves.”
“Me neither.”
“What the hell do we do? That foot is bigger than my torso. Almost bigger than yours, fatty.”
“Shut up, Fred. Your head is bigger.”
“Weak come back.”
“Shut up, Fred. Hey there! Hey! Thanks for the help - - ”
Zimmmm! Zimmm!
“Oh, Sh - - ” Zimmmm! Zimmm!
“Cripes! Didn’t we just leave this party?” “Maybe it's that 'Eye-ball the enemy game mechanic' you know, where you fire on your desperate allies? Like a six inch thing?” “I don't think that exists.”
JUMP*THUMP* “Uh, oh. If it's right above us, we don't get cover saves, do we?" “No. And our Invulns have always sucked, so ... .”
Zimmmm! Zimmm! fffffooooo *pop*
Zimmmm! Zimmm! ffffooooooo *pop*
“My guess is that's the WraithCannon going all Distort and Instant Death.” To Wound: To Wound:
“Okay, saving throws - - !! ” save:
save: “Ha! Slaany daemon reroll!" save: “Honestly, I'm not surprised."
. . . . . . .
beetoot teep! “Hello? *cgcgcg* Hello? Astropath? *gcgcckk* Yeah, get me 4000th Century Insurance. . . . Hello? 4000th Century? Before I file a claim, I will need a flatbed. Make it three flatbeds. Yeah, I got my policy through Imperial Terra ... “
"Wow, okay that was 'fun with onomatopoeias.' Geez, no mp3 file? It's not like this is the internet where audio files can be part of the video, sheesh."
. . . . "Who's our next opponent?"
"More damned Tau-Crons."
"Man, I've had my ass-fill of Phoenix Lord & XV8 Commander buffing, tanking for a ReaperStar - Wait, what? Not Tau-DAR? Didju say Tau Necrons?"
"Yeah, some GT stomping list from BoLS. Mighta been that Goatman dude ... Goat girl?"
"I didn't see that. Been too busy trolling on Warseer and Bolter and ChainS - - ."
"Yeah, the meta changed again. Another digi-book. Zahndrekh the Mechanic and onclave, or . . . Mike and the Mechanics ... ? Ziggy Stardu - - "
"Damn it! Didja check the Dakka forums? Maybe those Frontlinegaming clowns posted a tactics article! How're we gonna adjust to that? Doesn't sound like a flying circus."
"Yeah, we gotta keep adjusting. Don't worry, I'm fast enough to keep up with GW's high speed release schedule, unlike you, bloat-bag."
"Yeah, yeah. Slaany and Tzeentch Dees are the top dogs now, and the red and green are second class citizens. Quit rubbing it in - -"
"Oops, wait, sorry man, it's Sister of Battle."
"Huh? Sisters? Wait, I thought - - "
"Nope, sorry, man. Now it's 'Nids-Crons - - "
"Wait, Fred - ?"
"Imperial Guard just got released. Lotsa new allied combos."
"Fred."
"Now guard with orks. It's called double green-blob."
"Fred."
"Wait. Surprise, there's another round of FAQs. Get this, Grey Knight Storm Ravens *and* Tau Riptides got nerfed. 'Bout time, eh?"
"Fre-ed."
"Okay, we can adjust, it's 2015, 7th Edition is being released - "
"Fred!"
WAP!!!!
"Huh? Hey. Umm. What just happened? Didju hit me?"
"Yes and no, old chump. It seems the old Warp Time somehow worked its way into the comic again."
"But this is perfect for forming the dreaded JetSeer ... Council-Star, DeathSeer ... BikeStar? Dang! What was it called?"
"The two plus, reroll-able, DeathStar? Pffff! That cover save won't work in hand to hand, and their Invulns are 50% likely. Screw 'em!"**
"With their "i've got something to prove, social climber" Sathonyx tanking wounds at a two plus Invulnerable ... "
"Who cares? I'm excited. I'm looking forward to chasing down and drubbing these guys. Close line 'em off their rides, and then smash those bikes like a Los Angeles freeway 'motor cycle' down, sig-alert."
"Go ahead, shrink wrap is loose, you open her up. I'm gonna get something . . . . "
"What the ... seriously?"
"I'm tellin' ya, Bob. Nothing much surprises me anymore, that's why I already got these."
** Bob might not be taking in to account that their h2h Invulns might just be Fortuned. Eh, it's iffy.
"Hello. Folks in the UK and Europe will be waking up shortly. So, here it is. Merry Christmas."
"Yeah, sorry for the totally out-of-40k-context, holiday post." "Whatever." "Maybe someone working for Fox News will get bent out of shape over this." "Huh? How?" "Well, 40k is all about war. And we usually mock things. So maybe that O'Realy, what's-his-name, will call this another attack on Christmas ... 'ORLY' ? "
"Enough of that. Here's our 40k Christmas message."
"For the Emrah!"
"Great. Green & red. Well, wholesome green, anyway. Maybe they should be called Pine Angels, instead of Dark?" "Heh." "How about our Old Testament contingent?" "You mean, other 'holiday' messages, like Kwanzaa?" "I dunno about that one. But the menorah lighters. You know, battling the greeks, and the oil not running out."
"Sounds like we're back to the dark angels and their ammo never running out. Which battle was that?" "Yeah. Huh." "Yeah, anyway, maybe something in blue and white, since that's the light displays. Maybe a Tzeentch daemon?" "Too sacriligous."
"How about me?"
"NO!!!" "NO!!!" "NO!!!"
"Hey, you space elves are good guys. And you're like, one of the oldest religions/cultures in 40k. So parallel enough? One of you."
"Good enough? Or shall I sing Moaz tzur?"
"Was that a tzeentch daemon's name?" "No, it's a hebrew song and your sentiments are four weeks late, you idiots."
"Um, okay. We're done, here." "Man, this comic will look lame come next summer." "No one asked you, Steve."
**I doubt this will achieve "A Charlie Brown Christmas" status. Or even Grinch.
"Bob and Fred and what's-his-name are down and out for the count. So, Eldrad, Buff-Mander and myself are going to have to host this episode of B&F."
"Huurrll." "Way too much ... um, 'training' for the Beer Hammer event."
"Since the demon crew couldn't keep their act together, the team, army that *will* be going to the LVO, will be us, a Net-Paste/Copy Tau-Dar list. Right, Elddy?"
"Lotsa cheap beer, a philosophy for extremes and no regard for mutated livers. An ork coulda predicted this."
"Huurrll."
"We can handle it, he says. Stupid Slaany demon."
"Might not make it to Vegas, but I'm feeling good .... "
"Huurrll."
"Just wanted to let the LVO attendees know, there will be yet ANOTHER Taudar list, with Buff-Mander, farseer and lotsa Prescience goofery, and my marker light, Twin-Linked, Ignores Cover, AP 1 & 2 Fun! Jetbikes? Hell, YEAH! Suck it, kids!"
"Bob here. I'm with Hekatrix 'Candy'. What's going on?"
"Candera of the Honed-Blade."
"Sure." ...
"It's been some time since we, the Dark Eldar army, were out and about getting any exercise or action. The Baron and some token Kabbies-tax got some milage with a Jetstar. But the rest of us have been in storage since the advent of Overwatch and 6th edition."
"I heard the Baron's first outting spectacularly failed. Losing his two-up on Turn 1, on a Dangerous Terrain test? Isn't that like 1 in 36 and then another 36 chance? Fortuned, yet?" "Sathonyx is a dupe who let's himself get used by our self-hating cousins. A complete tool.
He's yesterday's bell-bottom pants. With seventh edition, MSU is tops again and the deathstars are on their way out as Maelstrom missions need more units, and really mobile ones. We fit that bill."
"Definitely. Although my work has mostly been that summoning thing, but it's infrequent and the paychecks are spotty. The little Dees are rolling in cash with overtime paychecks." "Pff. Psyckers. We got Crucible of Malediction for that."
"So, as part of our re-entry into things we're getting a partial face lift. We never really liked the base colors. I mean yellow? And purple? Really? When's the last time the LA Lakers mattered?
It's time to scrape it off and start over. First, a soak to loosen up the senics, grass and base paint."
"What's the new look gonna be?" "Likely, snow with dark rocky bits. It ought to set off the purples, blacks and blues far better. Think that Alpine print from the FrontLineGames Table War game mat." ** "Sounds good."
"Some of you are already losing the yellow. Good. Uhm, Candy, what about being rusty after so long?" "Oh, we're running some exercises on the court. Non-lethal games like volleyball and basketball."
. . .
"Um, what happen? Where's all the water come from?" "Well, we needed to get the bases loosened up so we booked the Pauley Pavilion at UCLA."
"Isn't there like ... Ashes to Ashes, some kind of eulogy or such?"
"Naw more like, no more push button army for a bunch of wannabe, no talent. 40k hacks."
"I for one am going to be glad that we won't be working for these flits anymore."
"No kiddin'. No more being summoned and bursting out of scrawny elf-flesh, especially when their wraithbone undies sometimes don't tear."
"lolwut? Huh? What do you mean, Fred?"
"Wraithbone undies. They don't tear or break, so the last time I got summoned, well, I mean, I've had some tight leathers on before, but nothing like that. I ended up as green as you."
"I so don't need to hear about your social life."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In memorium: April 2015
RIP - Energy Shield Serpent Spam
Brothererekose wrote: I gotta pay more attention to the background, i.e. the box of Altoids. Then again, players might need subtle reminders to smell good, huh?
"Oh, lookit, Uncle Fred. Ruins! What was this place?"
"Looks like battles were fought here!"
"Yes, wee ones. Great battles of ideas. Once upon a time -- "
"Uncle Fred story time!"
"YAY!"
" -- this was called a forum. Hundreds of speakers could come here and speak their minds."
"Speaking battles?!"
"I heard they were called flame-wars."
"Flames of War?"
"That was something else."
"A great place a forum is. Many things, both great and small could learned. People could argue their point of view and how they thought how wars and battles should be fought. "
"What if they were idiots?"
"Sounds great!"
"Sounds like it could be abused too!"
"Yes, it could. See, there was once a speaker, who spoke and spoke and spoke. He spoke on any and every topic. " "He musta been wise!"
"Naw, the more you speak, there is less substance to what you say."
"Ooh, yeah, like those spaghetti westerns. That guy didn't say much, but when he did ... "
"It was with a gun."
"Yes, very wise, young Khornling. He spoke so often that he forgot that he'd said one thing and eventually said the opposite, contradicting himself. He talked about things he knew little about. Oh, he had an opinion about things - - "
" - - Like tau having opinions on how to fight in assault?"
"Isn't that a kind of fool?"
"He claimed once that others could not comment on, well, let's say something artistic, needing skill with carving and painting ... like sculpture." "Like statues?"
"Yes. These ruins once had mighty statues of gods and warriors, sculpted with muscles and fierce gazes and terrifying weapons. This speaker once said that if you were not a sculptor, you should not talk about how to make one, or paint it, or appreciate it."
"Well, yeah, if you're not an expert or even experienced in the subject, he was right. I mean, I don't expect either of you boys to understand ... you know, girl stuff."
"Right. We have no weight, authority or credence talking about girl stuff like ... shopping or meeting in a big group and socializing and ... "
"Make up?"
"You've even *heard* of make up?"
"You thought I was gonna say 'boobs', huh?" "What? No, I only care about blood ... what are 'boobs' ? "
"Then when he argued about going to great wars, massive planetary scale wars - - "
"- - Called GTs! Right! Grand Thrashings!?"
"That's right."
"Or RTTs, Really Tremendous Tussles?"
"Right. Well, this speaker would never admit to having gone to or would say which Grand Thrashing or Really Tremendous Tussle he had attended. But he had a great many things to say about how Grand Trashings and Really Tremendous Tussles were to be held."
"You mean, he talked about how they were to run. But somehow, he never went to one?"
"He might have, but never admitted it." "Lame."
"So, the speaker was ignored by all. One by one, backs were turned, and deaf ears were turned on - - "
" - - Wouldn't ears turn off?"
" - - the speaker spoke and spoke, but no one would listen. After a while, no one even saw or heard him at all."
"Let's go. There's some eldar to try to beat."
"It was that nosferatu1001 guy, right?"
"No, he just stuck to arguing Battle Law. Okay enough for nurgle to touch." "Yay!"
"Still, Uncle Fred, your stories scare me in no way that the Great Four ever could."
"Sometimes, wee ones, you need to know about the truer horrors of our world, our battle-world, more so than your own gods."
"Hi, folks. Bob here. Despite the Chicken Littles running around, or more accurately, posting RageQuit propaganda, reacting to the newest Eldar codex and Space Marine formations that are supposed to have broken our game ... well. "
"Yeah. WargamesCon and Bay Area Open GTs have come and gone. And, if we've done our 'Net Search correctly, there was no Skyhammer in the top 8 at either event, and one Eldar Tau on the top at BAO."
"Both events won by a daemon army." "Do we want to mention by the same, bad assed player? PJ something?" "It'd make no difference, the Internet believes that a list will win you a GT. Not your generaling skills."
Just discovered this today and binged the whole thing. Shame on you for hopping on the Skyhammer bandwagon Especially when you have eldar and chaos daemons at your disposal! J/k
Oddly enough, I actually just picked up that same eldar jetbike box that you had in the one comic. Just clipped it out a couple days ago need to get it built still. I agree that Vypers are... Sub-optimal >_>
Anyways, keep the comics coming! I love em, Bob & Fred are the best haha!
"Arrriiiisse! Mighty warriors! The Emperor calls you! Awake!"
"What the --? Do you get what they're doin'? I thought dreads were long term museum pieces since sixth edition brought in Hull Points. Heh, that was a good day. Shutting down Grey Knight psy-fileman dreads."
*shudder*
"Yeah, that was a lovely ending to a broken unit."
*shudder*
"I am pretty sure the muhreens are putting dreads back into their lists. Maybe even tourney lists."
"GW did somethin', huh?"
"Yeah, they're getting back into the FAQ business. They're using Zuckerberg's 'site."
"Sorry, I don't check any website specifically. I just go with what I hear. Like Donald Trump."
. . . . . .
"They're using FB for submitting Qs."
"Awake! Arise, brothers! Bring glory to our chapter again! Smite our enemies! Crush the traitors!"
"The first is awake! Mighty brother, report to the landing pad!"
"Pff. Stupid, no-dialogue, uncredited cameo. No work since page one .... "
"Then they post a 'first draft' of the answers for community review. Some answers are good ones, many are RB contradictory head scratchers and some that made me whimper. Like 'do bolt pistols count as a close-combat weapon? ' "
"C'mon, Bob. Never underestimate the power of stupidity."
"Brother Robert! Armed with assault cannon and mighty fist! Are you ready --"
"Honestly, this game should be called Retcon 3."
"Huh?"
"Every three years, the rules change to put more models on the table."
"Well, back on the table. Maybe call it Hollywood 40k Squares?
. . .
You know, giving retread has-beens another chance --"
"Yeah, I got it. Now you're just shownin' your age, Fred."
. . . . . .
"Brother Captain? Brother Frederick's left u-joint is missing a lynch pin. Where are the damned servitors?"
"Hey, did you just catch something about their names?"
"Awright. Serpent down, we've got center table. So, King of the Hill tertiary coming up! Okay, Fred. It's just a few spiders. I know you're not worried with that high init, right?"
"S'right."
"A five pack for me, Bob. I got this."
"Take that!" poke! poke!
"Erf, crap. I smack a couple down and they bounce out, shoot me and Hammer of Wra-- Ooof!" poke! "Iron Resolve, punk!" poke!
bamf!
"Slippery little buggers." bamf!
"Take that!" poke! poke!
"Hold still you little ... !" bamf!
bamf!
scratch-poke! poke! "Hit and Run! Hah!"
"They're stuck in my teef!" "Take that!" poke! poke! scratch!
poke! poke! "You smell!"
"What's that, Fred? I can't hear you! - Spiders in my ears ... " poke! "You know what Iron Resolve really means? You can't break us because we're already broken!" prod!
"Yeah, Age of Siggy is lookin' good. I'm ready to move back into management." "Yeah, Bob. Playin' second fiddle to bigger, badder models sucked."
"Heh, poor Mitch was always getting looked over for those new Blood Thirsties."
"Greater Ds back in the House!"
"We get ta be on battle field."
"Yeah, back to getting some exercise."
"Been a couch potato for too long."
"You wouldn't think a burning hellspawn would get lazy and fat, but Billy and me got love handles just floatin' around the lava pools."
"Yay! We're back on payroll and slated for primer and paint!"
"Purple?"
"Yes, little ones. Inks and washes!" "SQUEeeeeee!"
"With the sun setting on seventh edition, and the new dawn of eighth - -"
"Oh, shut it with the newsman's cheap attempt at prose."
"Right. Lotsa meta shifting being hinted at, and it wouldn't be Bob and Fred without some pre-release jocularity."
"Some broad category leaks from a greatly involved - - ."
(and much appreciated GW )
" - - Games Workshop means some fundamental units get interviewed. We'll ask how they feel about the possible changes and what they think it willl mean from here forward."
"Like 'news' on Fox or CNN."
"Commissar?"
"What ought to be far more ubiquitous on the playing tables than the Adeptus Astartes, just like the actual galaxy of 40k ... will be guardsmen. YES! The glorious Astra Militarum will bring the humble lasgun! back to the fore of offensive consideration."
"Wound anything on a six sounds nice for you ground pounders."
"No more being mere 'troop' tax for Leman Russ Executioner tanks nor proxied Vendettas sporting Vulture gatling cannons- - "
"Yeah, okay, Fred?"
"Yeah, Bob. Here's some members of 40k, not units, actually but ...."
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
Waaah!
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo. Sniff, sniffle, hiccup
"Urp. Imean, therez, I wuz. TOP o' the world! Dual Shathack WreathKnit shroudy cannons and then! And then? ... Wherewuzz I?" *whimper*
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
Eeeee!
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
"I can't add anything from here, Bob."
"Some good news, from some old favorites."
"Back and as bad as Richard Nixon!"
"Are we trying to work in a political joke? Like tying Trump to Nixon? Best just to stick to 40k, right, Gladius?"
"Righton! Betrayal! We're back and hard to get rid of! No more spectacular check outs from filthy meltas. We don't need any handicap parking - - "
"Okay, Glad, I got this. Thanks, Bob. Yeah, out of boxes and back to playing tables."
"Except for those of us so disregarded that we got fobbed off to the kiddie table and painted by a four year old."
"And some really good news. We'll see Chaos marines again." "Too long in coming."
"Blood for the - -"
"Shut up. One of our buddies got some AoS conversion and serves as some buffing unit for fantasy daemon army. What he said though, was the hand to hand was great and that we can wake up, get out, and get to killing again!"
"Five stinking years of foam nap!
"Yeah! Yeah! Yoo Hoo! Argh! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood!"
"Chaos for the Win!!!"
"You kiddies wanna talk Chaos?"
"For the Win? How about for the power?!?"
"Terrible punchline, Lord of some dirt water, back planet."
"Up yours, Nigel."
That tank... I'm not sure if it has been painted by a four year old or a representative of slaneesh has just tried to represent chaos with the lesser colours of the mortal realm.
"Look! It's Sammy the Dark Angel LandSpeeder character! Shoot, my fellow eldar! Shoot! I think he's the Warlord!"
"Nope! So-not sorry, dork rippers! I'm a character and you can't target me!"
"What? We *see* you! You're a 8 meter long, no AQMD exhaust jet powered hovercraft! We can damn well target you! You're as loud as a whole chapter of Harlie-Davidson riders on a Sunday cruise. We could target you blind folded!"
"Eighth edition is a really great game, possibly 40k's best version. But you know what, you emo-attitude, long ears? I might be eight meters long, but eight is the magic number ... for wounds! That's the stupid game mechanic and we're exploiting it! There are scouts in the ruin in front of me! Ha! hahahahaha!"
"Careful, Bob, las cannons gunning for your stinky butt." "What? Me worry?"
"Shoot the daemon! What? My cannon misfired! Huh!?"
"Mine, too!"
"I'm trying brother! But for some reason we're unable to pull the trigger!"
"Treacherous sorcery!"
"No. Just an exploitation of a rule. Right little turdlings?" "Right on, boss!" fffrrrt! flab! frrrt.
"Smite, time, Bob?" "You bet, Fred."
"How can we not shoot that enormous blight of existence? He's a 2 story building!"
"A ton of daemon, ugly - "
"HEY!" "9 meters tall, wings like billboards, and we can't shoot him? The Emperor has forsaken his good senses!"
An update, soon. I knew my initial pix on photobucket would eventaully go belly up, and now it's happened, so those first posts are dialogue only. Something to do on my winter break; reshooting and posting.
Plus, 8e has certainly gone waaaayyyyyy past being insane with codex creep, thank you SM 2.0 and Psychic Awakening. And others.
It ought to give Bob and Fred enough to whine, bitch, piss and moan about for a couple posts, at least.
) . At some point, B&F will have a scene with 
dakka 
