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NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/16 19:03:20


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


With a new DE book on the horizon

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/595606.page

NOW is the time for some completely made up and false rumors!

1 - In order to better represent advanced Eldar technology DE warriors will now have 3+ saves. Spinter rifles will be S4 AP5 and they will be bumped up to T4 to show their resistance to pain as well as S4 to simulate their supernaturally sharp blades.

2 - exciting new name! Maiusculus Obscurus!

3 - Exciting new price! No wait... that's a true rumor.

4 - In order to make the army more appealing to kids (or at least their parents) DE no longer torture, enslave or have orgies. Instead they give weggies, wet willies, sulk and listen to NIN in their mom's basements

5 - In order to make them easier to trade mark DE Warriors renamed War Death Skull Rape Pillage Muder Doing Guys

6 - No change to the DE prisoners because obviously there is no way to improve on such smexy smexy models

Spoiler:






NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/16 19:14:14


Post by: Zewrath


 Kid_Kyoto wrote:


5 - In order to make them easier to trade mark DE Warriors renamed War Death Skull Rape Pillage Muder Doing Guys



That's just blatantly false.. You forgot faux Latin.

"Astra Elves Morte Dolor Sadistico"


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/16 19:30:55


Post by: Chute82


The codex is going to sell for $23


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/16 19:39:05


Post by: Ralis


Instead of a Single Codex. Dark Eldar Wyches will be split off into their own codex, But still be an entry in the regular Codex

There will be a new Large model, (insert name with the word Knight in it)


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/16 20:02:11


Post by: TheCustomLime


Lord Vect will now have a plastic model! Except that it only comes in the limited edition Death Skull Chariot of Dark Shadow Doom kit. This exciting kit consists of Vect standing a top of a miniature raider made out of bones being pulled by grotesques.

The warrior kit will be split up into a five man boxes. After all, if the Eldar have to pay out the ass for basic infantry then so do you!

The Raider's rules will be a White Dwarf exclusive.

To balance out the lack of female models in the range they are now making a new female character kit. This wonderfully detailed kit has plenty of options so that your model can represent anything from an Archon to a warrior. To make it look like GW didn't just take the lazy route they will list every possible combination of options as a unique model on the website.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/16 21:33:00


Post by: Exergy


DE squads and vehicles will all have an upgrade for 5ppm called:
Psisplinter ammo that will cost 5pts and change their posion to wound on 3+


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 02:13:46


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


14 - GW will finally answer the long-standing fluff question of just how a race completely dedicated to torture and killing can possibly build a stable society and maintain its populations. They can't. Turns out there's only like a dozen DE left. The size of DE armies will be limited accordingly.

15 - All DE codexes will come with temporary tattoos and a clip on nose ring so you can be dangerous and edgy just like the Dark Eldar!

16 - Due to an unfortunate typo all 50,000 copies of the book say Codex: Dork Eldar on the cover. GW could have recalled them but decided to go ahead since they figure if people bought the GK codex and the Imperial Knight 'codex' with one unit, they'll buy anything.

17 - Forge World has a plan for several new Dark Eldar models. Unfortuanately the plan involves all DE disguising themselves head to toe in Heresy-era Space Marine armor.

18 - Codex Dark Eldar is the first codex to be sold in Hot Topic!

19 - Bolt Thrower has reunited to record a new album 'Lords of Pain' in honor of the DE codex. You'll get a free download code with every purchase!

20 - The painful Dark Eldar splinter rifle will be joined with several new weapons to inflict pain on their victims: The Mosquito Bite Pistol, the Rock in Your Shoe Carbine and the dread Paper Cut Cannon.

21 - DE will get a powerful new artillery piece, the Violator. A long bulbus cannon, with several pulsing, throbbing veins down its incredible 18" length, powered by two Wrath Spheres suspended below it this cannon has the power to penetrate deep into its target. The Violator will be packaged in a plain brown wrapper and only sold to hobbiests over the age of 18.

22 - Dark Eldar will be able to ally with Genestealer Cults, Electro Priests and Zoats. Y'know, in case anyone ever brings them back.

23 - After market research showed that new fans are not entirely sure what a 'Dark Eldar' is the book was renamed: Elfs who are Dark and also In Space and Kind of Into Bondage but in a PG-13 Sort of Way.

Actually the last one is a fib.

GW doesn't do market research.

Or have new fans.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 05:17:18


Post by: Grey Templar


24- The limited edition codex will come in a special limited edition spiky box covered in spines that exude Bullet Ant venom. The box itself will be listed as a Lord of War option for 5,000 points that you can use to hit your opponent and yourself with.

25- Dark Eldar will be Come the Apocalypse allies with themselves.

26- All DE kits will be rereleased in Finecast instead of plastic.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 17:40:09


Post by: Tycho


16 - Due to an unfortunate typo all 50,000 copies of the book say Codex: Dork Eldar on the cover. GW could have recalled them but decided to go ahead since they figure if people bought the GK codex and the Imperial Knight 'codex' with one unit, they'll buy anything.


Actually, what will happen is that upon releasing the book and realizing the mistake, they will then issue stickers to any who bought the codex. The sticker will have the correct letter on it so that you can cover up the typo and will come in three varieties.

Basic - they will send this for free with proof of purchase. It will be a basic black letter on a white sticker. You will simply have to pay shipping and handling of $29.99
Limited - As above but now on gold foil. You will also have to pay an extra 10$ for the upgrade
Pain Token Super Limited - Gold foil with embossed skull instead of the correct letter. It cost $40 on top of the shipping fee and will, suspiciously, resemble the "o" you're trying to cover up. It will also have its own numbered editions. The numbers will be random though. Someone my get the first printing sticker while their neighboor will receive the sigma edition and your FLGS owner will get a sticker with a small picture of a sparrow instead of a number.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 17:46:17


Post by: Ovion


There will be 4 Gargantuan Creatures and 2 Titans in the book.
Each has at least one StrD weapon stock.

You will be able to take all of them at the same time in a 2000pt army.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
TheCustomLime wrote:Lord Vect will now have a plastic model! Except that it only comes in the limited edition Death Skull Chariot of Dark Shadow Doom kit. This exciting kit consists of Vect standing a top of a miniature raider made out of bones being pulled by grotesques.
Except.... that would totally fit with the Dark Eldar and be amazing.

Kid_Kyoto wrote:21 - DE will get a powerful new artillery piece, the Violator. A long bulbus cannon, with several pulsing, throbbing veins down its incredible 18" length, powered by two Wrath Spheres suspended below it this cannon has the power to penetrate deep into its target. The Violator will be packaged in a plain brown wrapper and only sold to hobbiests over the age of 18.
You realise now I have to make this.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 19:37:07


Post by: Unit1126PLL


The DE have been dropped and replaced with the Adeptus Mechanicus codex.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 20:02:12


Post by: squidhills


27. The Dark Eldar are now Battle Brothers with the Tau, because why should their sissy Craftworld cousins get all the anime mecha cow alien fun?

28. Vect will be made a LoW. The "sexy" prisoner models will be an upgrade for his Raider that will give the vehicle a 2++ rerollable save (stackable with Jink if the Raider moves!) for only 25 points! Unfortunately, the upgrade can only be used if you actually have the models, and GW will not be issuing new sculpts for them, or converting them to Finec--- er, resin. Better start scouring Ebay, kids!

28(a) If you somehow have a pair of the unreleased topless prisoner models, the save increases to 1++ rerollable.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 20:06:26


Post by: Colpicklejar


Poison weapons will no longer work on any model that doesn't have flesh exposed. Necrons are completely immune.



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 21:29:33


Post by: Exergy


 Colpicklejar wrote:
Poison weapons will no longer work on any model that doesn't have flesh exposed. Necrons are completely immune.



good news against space wolves!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 21:45:54


Post by: Accolade


 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
21 - DE will get a powerful new artillery piece, the Violator. A long bulbus cannon, with several pulsing, throbbing veins down its incredible 18" length, powered by two Wrath Spheres suspended below it this cannon has the power to penetrate deep into its target. The Violator will be packaged in a plain brown wrapper and only sold to hobbiests over the age of 18.




Oh god, I died laughing at this.

Actually the last one is a fib.

GW doesn't do market research.

Or have new fans.


KK, you're killing me just the way a Dark Eldar would- with a thousand small cuts!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 21:50:29


Post by: Da Butcha


To encourage 'cinematic' gaming, the Dark Eldar will have Darkness Fields, Dark Lances, Dark Missiles, Dark Venom, and Dark Marks.
All pictures in White Dwarf of the new army, and their premiere battle report, will be taken in a dark room with no flash.
The codex will be printed with black text on a charcoal background, leading to many rules "discussions".
Entirely black Dark Eldar objective cards will be printed, which automatically award victory points, since you cannot determine what the Dark Eldar objective is (as you are 'in the dark').

Vect will be a Lord of War, available only on a Raider so spiky that you must sign a legal disclaimer before purchasing it. On the other hand, whenever you stab yourself moving it, you get a free pain token (now renamed Dark Marks).

Limited Edition Codex comes with six exclusive metal Dark Marks. If you buy this edition, you automatically start the game with all six.

Wracks and Grotesques now joined by their monstrous brethren, the Fuglies. Fuglies are monstrous creatures and have Feel No Pain. If they fail a Feel No Pain roll, they feel pain, and get a Pain Token---err, Dark Mark, and can use it to remove the wound.

Dark Eldar can now emerge from anywhere on the game board, provided you have a Citadel Warp Portal. The Citadel Warp Portal is produced in polystone resin in a limited edition of two. One will be dropped and the other lost in shipping.

Archons can now wield the Heart of Awesome. This fell artifact will fill the enemy commander with unholy power, making him a Lord of War. However, unless the enemy commander's detachment allows for an additional Lord of War, he is now illegal and will be removed from play.




NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 21:54:44


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


To represent the myriad effects that Dark Eldar poisons could have on a lifeform, there is now a D66 Dark Eldar Poison chart, which you have to roll on for each unsaved wound from a splinter weapon.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 23:00:58


Post by: Red Marine


You will be able to turn in your old codex for a 50% discount on the new codex.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/17 23:26:07


Post by: CShaffer


 Red Marine wrote:
You will be able to turn in your old codex for a 50% discount on the new codex.


Crazy enough that is the hardest thing to believe here.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/18 14:57:37


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


37 - Murder Fang will be an elite choice for Dark Eldar. Have to move those $50 special characters somehow amirite?

38 - Nagash will be HQ choice for the Dark Eldar. Have to move those $100 special characters somehow amirite?

39 - Bilbo Baggins will be a mandatory troop choice for Dark Eldar. Have to move those $120 Escape from Goblin Town sets somehow amirite?

40 - The DE Raider will be reissued as a paper mache model to better represent its durability on the table top.

41 - DAKKA EXCLUSIVE, Vect's new model, showing him and the Dias of Destruction enveloped in its protective shadow field! As you can see it is one of the most accurate and detailed models GW has ever made showing Vect, a dozen slave girls, a full team of guards and an elaborate raider brisling with spikes and guns.

Spoiler:


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 12:42:30


Post by: Necro


They are renaming them codex: Emo

These bad boys are so moody they show up to a battlefield drunk and threaten to throw themselves off the highest terrain.

They are also now lead by Dark Elvis and while this makes absolutely no sense, Elvis brings in the dollars.

Fuglies brandishing violators sound awesome so there in. The rest are scantly clad females to rake in the cash.

Yep GW are on a gold mine with this one.

P.S. You also get a limited edition purse to keep your balls in..... I mean shadow fields in at the bargain price of $300. Hurry while stocks last.



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 19:28:40


Post by: BobNT



New "must have" models (think Wraightknights but at 50pts per model) will be available. However they provide a sharp electric shock when touched and 'shock mode' must be turned on during all games, otherwise it's an automatic loss for the DE player.

No pain, no gain


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 20:54:41


Post by: Brotherjanus


All units will be removed from the Dark Eldar codex that can not be made out of the Warrior box. All other models will be put into their own supplement or data slate for only $49.99 each (only available on the ipad).



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 21:55:45


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


47-According to newly reviled fluff this one time the Space Emporer saw this Dark Eldar wearing his dog collar and studded pleather pants and he was all like 'get a haircut and get a real job loser' so the dark elder shot him with Hus splinter gun thing and the spinter got under the Space Emporer's fingernail and the Space Emporer was all like 'ow! That really hurts! Why'd you do that but the dark eldar totally blew him off and went back to putting on black nail polish.

So the Space Emporer cursed the Dark Eldar to forever have to wait 8 years between updates.

48-the codex will come with a signed letter of apology to HR Giger and Clive Barker for shamelessly ripping off their works then swearing under oath that GW artists don't draw on any inspiration from anywhere.

49-the limited edition will have a hand written letter from Tom Kirby apologizing for making the Elfs who are Dark and also in Space and Kind of into Bondage but in a PG13 sort of way rather than Adeptus Mech, Demiurge, Chaos Cults or any of a thousand other good ideas they could have pursued instead.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 22:01:54


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
.

49-the limited edition will have a hand written letter from Tom Kirby apologizing for making the Elfs who are Dark and also in Space and Kind of into Bondage but in a PG13 sort of way rather than Adeptus Mech, Demiurge, Chaos Cults or any of a thousand other good ideas they could have pursued instead.


Please be serious. We all know that Kirby would blame the customers for not allowing GW to make Demiurg or bring back Lost and the Damned.
Because no one likes Lost and the Damned, right?


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 22:10:57


Post by: ClockworkZion


50. All new model kits will come with a box of complimentary kittens.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 22:16:30


Post by: Ovion


 ClockworkZion wrote:
50. All new model kits will come with a box of complimentary kittens.
And a fork.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 22:18:24


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 Ovion wrote:
 ClockworkZion wrote:
50. All new model kits will come with a box of complimentary kittens.
And a fork.


With barbecue sauce. Signed by Tom Kirby.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 22:19:33


Post by: ClockworkZion


 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
 Ovion wrote:
 ClockworkZion wrote:
50. All new model kits will come with a box of complimentary kittens.
And a fork.


With barbecue sauce. Signed by Tom Kirby.

Signed nothing, it'll be brewed by Kirby himself using the distilled tears of the GW customer base for the last 25 years.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/19 22:26:01


Post by: Anpu42


I love Kittens, they stay crunchy in milk.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 04:13:12


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


wow this is currently the most exaulted thread on Dakka.

Yay!

55 - According to newly reviled fluff this one time a high school student Eldar was writing a grimdark poem on his Myspace page about how all the football player Eldars sucked and how no one truly understood his unique pain and genius and stuff. And then like all the cheerleader Eldars read it and they were all like that is like so deep and stuff so they dyed their hair black and they all moved to a loft in Commorragh and sex and everything cause he was like so deep and the Eldar Football players all killed themselves because they sucked that's like the origin of the Dark Eldars.



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 04:17:59


Post by: conker249


56. Special rule "Feel all the Pain. Dark Eldar love pain and causing pain. If an enemy makes a successful FnP roll within 12" of a unit with the "power from pain" rule, the closest friendly unit take a wound with no saves of any kind, against a randomly selected model. This represents the anguish of failing to wound the enemy, also forging a narrative.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 05:38:23


Post by: Pyeatt


Reliable Source, never been wrong: Dark Eldar are actually a .... GENE STEALER CULT!!!! Dun dun DUUUUNNNN


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 06:53:18


Post by: ClockworkZion


57. All Dark Eldar Vehicles will be reduced by 1 AV to better represent their fragile but fast nature (so yes, AV9, just like tin sheds!).


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 12:50:08


Post by: vipoid


58. The Dark Eldar codex will be well-balanced with no bad units.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 13:52:01


Post by: Strombones


 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
37 - Murder Fang will be an elite choice for Dark Eldar. Have to move those $50 special characters somehow amirite?

38 - Nagash will be HQ choice for the Dark Eldar. Have to move those $100 special characters somehow amirite?

39 - Bilbo Baggins will be a mandatory troop choice for Dark Eldar. Have to move those $120 Escape from Goblin Town sets somehow amirite?

40 - The DE Raider will be reissued as a paper mache model to better represent its durability on the table top.

41 - DAKKA EXCLUSIVE, Vect's new model, showing him and the Dias of Destruction enveloped in its protective shadow field! As you can see it is one of the most accurate and detailed models GW has ever made showing Vect, a dozen slave girls, a full team of guards and an elaborate raider brisling with spikes and guns.

Spoiler:


A new boxed game will be released called escape from Commoragh. It will be packed to the brim with a host of new 40k models inluding, several squats, a ratling, an Imperial psyker, and a heap of goblins all trying to escape from captivity in the shadowy underworld of the Dark Eldar.*

*rules sold separately


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 14:15:41


Post by: Happyjew


59. Flickerfields and Shadow Fields can now be shot off, just like the Serpent Shield. The profiles are as follows:

Flickerfield: Range 72", Strength 8, AP-, Heavy D6, Lance, Ignores Invulnerable Saves

Shadow Field: Range 48", Strength X, AP-, Heavy D6+2, Poison (2+), Ignores Cover


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 14:24:01


Post by: ClockworkZion


60. Dark Eldar will be allowed to assault when coming from reserves whenever they arrive via the Webway, but not when arriving from reserves normally. If you do not have the appropriate marker you can't use this rule (so start scouring e-bay kids!).


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 14:29:34


Post by: Happyjew


All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 14:46:18


Post by: vipoid


 Happyjew wrote:
All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.


Also, we'd like to unveil the new Dark Eldar character - Umbral Black'shadow von Darkington.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 15:36:36


Post by: Necro


 vipoid wrote:
 Happyjew wrote:
All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.


Also, we'd like to unveil the new Dark Eldar character - Umbral Black'shadow von Darkington.



Awesome name. Dont forget that he drinks dark rum and cola and has many black outs.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 15:39:13


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 Necro wrote:
 vipoid wrote:
 Happyjew wrote:
All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.


Also, we'd like to unveil the new Dark Eldar character - Umbral Black'shadow von Darkington.



Awesome name. Dont forget that he drinks dark rum and cola and has many black outs.


Just be sure not to shine a black light onto him...it won't be pretty.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 15:42:43


Post by: ClockworkZion


The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 15:49:02


Post by: tomball0706


Dark Eldar will be able to ally with tyranids because the fear that the tyranids create before destroying a planet is the strongest aphrodisiac that the Dark Eldar have ever come across.

Nids can't ally with them though, doesn't work both ways!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 15:56:24


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 ClockworkZion wrote:
The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.


Fun fact about black lights : They do not reveal blood.



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 16:03:15


Post by: ClockworkZion


 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
 ClockworkZion wrote:
The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.


Fun fact about black lights : They do not reveal blood.


That's why it won't be written in blood.

Also free bag of cocaine to the first 100 purchasers.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 16:32:57


Post by: Bronzefists42


61. Eldar and Dark Eldar are now "super secret Battle BrothersTM" and Wyverns are troop choices when allied.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 16:45:39


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 ClockworkZion wrote:
 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
 ClockworkZion wrote:
The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.


Fun fact about black lights : They do not reveal blood.


That's why it won't be written in blood.

Also free bag of cocaine to the first 100 purchasers.


Written by Tom Kirby and Matt Ward (or Phil Kelly, or Cruddace...whoever is the whipping boy these days), naturally


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 16:46:07


Post by: conker249


62. Doom Rider is a Lord of War


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 16:52:13


Post by: timetowaste85


Guys, slow down on the rumors! Pretre can't keep up!!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 17:10:50


Post by: Orock


Cant wait to see their new character. Master payne, the pain meister! He is armed with two painsticks, and a painwhip. When an enemy fails a feel no pain roll against attacks made by painwhip or painsticks, he must immediately make feel no pain rolls for the rest of the squad attacked by Master payne.

Any failed feel no pain rolls put a pain token on master payne. He can then use the special rule feel no pain himself, for unsaved wounds caused. Also he is haunted by painlust.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 17:40:21


Post by: Grim.Badger


All "Elfs who are Dark and also in Space and Kind of into Bondage but in a PG13 sort of way" can be upgraded to carry an Obsolescence Gun, which inflicts D6 Str10, ignoring all saves, hits on any model or unit that has been in production for more than 2 years


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 18:20:16


Post by: ClockworkZion


Coming soon, Citadel Combat drugs! These limited edition FineDrugs will be required to use the Combat Drugs special rule with your Dark Eldar codex. To use the rule just take a random syringe from the kit and jab it into your neck and go!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 18:36:58


Post by: Josey4u


15 - All DE codexes will come with temporary tattoos and a clip on nose ring so you can be dangerous and edgy just like the Dark Eldar!


Best one ever. Daughter loves it.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 22:57:40


Post by: Wilytank


Wracks will run on gasoline. And surprisingly, many of them will get good mileage.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/20 23:32:07


Post by: BobNT


If a DE unit or squad wins in CC and cause an enemy squad to flee, the fleeing unit/squad is immediate captured and sodomized by the advancing DE.

For PG-13 version replace "sodomized" with "tickled until they pee their pants"


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 00:04:55


Post by: Pyeatt


Hellraiser Pinhead will be an elite choice.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 01:05:16


Post by: Happyjew


The Dark Eldar codex will be the first codex that includes a CD of thematic music for the army. The following is the new game set-up order.

1. The Dark Eldar player must be dressed in all black. Piercings are optional, however, for a limited time, you can get official GW Dark Eldar Clip-ons ® if you do not want to pierce your ears, nose, lips and eyebrows.
2. Start the CD that comes with the codex.
3. Roll for Warlord Traits.
4. Your opponent always deploys first, and nothing may start in Reserves (even things that normally must start in reserves, such as Drop Pods, Flyers or Legions of the Damned).
5. After your opponent finishes setting up douse the table in gasoline and burn it, while doing lines of cocaine.
6. If your opponent cries, you gain 3 Pain tokens.
7. Rape your opponent.
8. Spend your pain tokens on the ability to evade the police.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 02:06:19


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


73 - According to newly reviled fluff this one time a bunch of Elfs who are Dark and also in Space showed up in the Emperor's bedroom and they had like their piercings and tatoos and bondage gear and all that stuff and they were all like 'fear us for we are the masters of pain and suffering and evil and darkness'.

But the Emp was all like 'dude seriously? you're like what a middle aged man thought was dangerous and subversive 20 years ago. I mean today you're about as edgy as a Marlin Manson album. You're like as dangerous as a kid with a Sex Pistols T-shirt his mummy bought for him at Hot Topic.'.

And the Elf who are Dark were confused because they thought the Sex Pistols were like totally edgy and subversive. And Gary was all like 'I have skateboard man, and it flies, and it has spikes!' but the Emperor was not impressed.

So then the Emp turned on CNN and he was all like 'look at these sons of witches, they're like beheading people and stoning people and crucifying people and strapping bombs to their chests and blowing people up and you think I'm gonna wet my solid gold breaches cause you're wearing a dog collar and a spiked bracelet? Go home OK? Just go home.'

So they went back to their mom's basement and like Steve tried out some beheading moves but accidentally cut off his own head. Then Jack tried stoning Suzy but she was all like 'ow that hurts' and totally dumped him and then Gary tried to make a bomb vest but blew his junk off instead.

Later on Eldrad popped by and he was all like 'I am so sorry about that, I don't know what these kids today are thinking. Frankly I'm just embarassed.'

ANd the Emp was all like 'Hey man it's OK, I mean sometimes kids go bad, they can't all be 100% loyal like my boy Horus. Did you know that after he joins this warrior lodge thing he's going to come by for my birthday, he's even bringing fireworks.

Just then Malicor the Siglite burst in and he was all like 'Emp, Emp I need you to approve the design for your new throne!'

But the Emp was all like 'Dude whatever. I mean I'm so busy running here and there I'll probably never even get a chance to sit in it y'know.'

And that was the last time the Elfs who are Dark ever tried to mess with the Space Emperor.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 02:07:07


Post by: blaktoof


The new dark eldar codex will include all the rules you need to make a dark eldar army for either a wyche cult, kabal, or coven, or all three!

In order to bring this variety to a single codex it will be released alongside three whole supplements that will include all the background and special rules you need to play with the dark eldar!

The main Dark Eldar codex will include all the rules you need to select your Troops, Elites, Fast Attack, Heavy support and Lord of War selections for all three dark eldar armies!

The supplements will give you an amazing 120 pages of background and art work along with warlord tables, relics, and the rules for the HQ battlefield role for the Kabal, Coven, or Wyche cults depending on which supplements you buy!

GW is even making a bundle of all three supplements for exactly the same cost as buying all three, wow! They come with a special card case which holds all three and is colored black on black, with black writing!



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 02:31:34


Post by: ClockworkZion


Mandrakes will be the new Lord of War for the codex.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 02:40:33


Post by: A Town Called Malus


In order to fit their new role as Lords of War, Mandrakes will be 40 points each, come in units of 10-20 and will be a 1+ choice in all Dark Eldar detachments.

They also lose the Power From Pain rule but gain Relentless.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 03:08:17


Post by: Freman Bloodglaive


Best thread ever.

Apart from the one with the two retiring Daemon Princes.

Who says people don't enjoy the GW hobby?


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 03:46:00


Post by: ClockworkZion


There will be a new Dark Eldar upgrade vehicle sprue as well. It'll be filled with a hundred tiny spikes to cover the hulls of your Raiders with.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 07:29:08


Post by: Trollio14


Kabalite Warriors are now the equivalent of Kaldor Draigo


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 07:40:50


Post by: Marleymoo


GW are trying out a new Codex format. The army list section is completely empty, but individual unit entries can be bought as Dataslates. Only £9.99 each.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 10:36:23


Post by: Ovion


ClockworkZion wrote:The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.
This doesn't seem to be a problem to me.
Human Leather is one of the more sturdy, long lasting leathers.
BobNT wrote:If a DE unit or squad wins in CC and cause an enemy squad to flee, the fleeing unit/squad is immediate captured and sodomized by the advancing DE.

For PG-13 version replace "sodomized" with "tickled until they pee their pants"
That's basically what happened in 3rd Ed. (Not even joking.)
blaktoof wrote:The new dark eldar codex will include all the rules you need to make a dark eldar army for either a wyche cult, kabal, or coven, or all three!

In order to bring this variety to a single codex it will be released alongside three whole supplements that will include all the background and special rules you need to play with the dark eldar!

The main Dark Eldar codex will include all the rules you need to select your Troops, Elites, Fast Attack, Heavy support and Lord of War selections for all three dark eldar armies!

The supplements will give you an amazing 120 pages of background and art work along with warlord tables, relics, and the rules for the HQ battlefield role for the Kabal, Coven, or Wyche cults depending on which supplements you buy!

GW is even making a bundle of all three supplements for exactly the same cost as buying all three, wow! They come with a special card case which holds all three and is colored black on black, with black writing!
I would be ok with this... because it means we get an extra 120 pages of background and artwork.....

- To represent the Dark Eldars hit-and-run lightning playstyle, you will only have first turn to win in.
If you haven't won by the start of your second turn, your entire army flees the battlefield and you lose.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 11:11:57


Post by: Iron_Captain


Exciting new fluff: Asdrubeal Vect is killed by one of his Sslyth bodyguards, who then proceeds to take on his form. Commorragh is now secretly ruled by the lizard people. Just like the Imperium.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 11:16:09


Post by: vipoid


 Iron_Captain wrote:
Exciting new fluff: Asdrubeal Vect is killed by one of his Sslyth bodyguards, who then proceeds to take on his form. Commorragh is now secretly ruled by the lizard people. Just like the Imperium.


The sad thing is, I'd actually approve of this...


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 15:02:16


Post by: Bronzefists42


I love Slyyth and that would be awesome fluff


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 15:05:02


Post by: ClockworkZion


Due to new rules when constructing a Dark Eldar army no two models can look the same, if they do both are removed as a casualties when the game begins due to a catfight over who wore the outfit first. Vehicles that look the same instead explode 6" as they're sabotaged by the other model.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 15:15:14


Post by: Abadabadoobaddon


Wracks will not be moved to Troops. Instead they will get their own codex. It will be called Codex: Wracks. It will get a limited run hardback release and then be digital only.

In Codex: Wracks, Wracks will be Troops choices. Haemonculi will not be HQ so as not to take the focus away from the Wracks. Instead the HQ will be a Wrack Prime (60 pts) which is a Wrack with +1Ld and a D6 roll on the Wrack Prime table:

1. Fear.
2. Move through Cover.
3. Slow and Purposeful.
4. Reroll failed armour saves of 1.
5. All close combat attacks are AP6.
6. Soulblaze.

Wracks will get a new dedicated transport called the Taurack. It will look like a Raider with its engines and sails replaced with tank treads. This helps the Taurack navigate the rough terrain of the Webway. Also its treads are sticky so it can drive up walls (some parts of the Webway are upside-down). To represent this the Taurack has the Webcrawler special rule - treat impassable terrain as dangerous terrain. However it is also open topped so upon entering impassable terrain all transported models must immediately perform an emergency disembarkation to represent them falling off the Taurack. If a transported model that normally would not be able to enter impassable terrain is forced to disembark into impassable terrain it is destroyed.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 15:33:31


Post by: Ovion


.... Is it bad I'd still buy that....


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 21:47:16


Post by: extremefreak17


Instead of having to pay an arm and a leg for these wonderful new releases, GW is now accepting souls!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 21:51:19


Post by: ClockworkZion


Guess I'm out of luck. Uncle Sam owns my soul. D:


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 23:20:42


Post by: extremefreak17


 ClockworkZion wrote:
Guess I'm out of luck. Uncle Sam owns my soul. D:

What Branch?


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/21 23:23:07


Post by: ClockworkZion


 extremefreak17 wrote:
 ClockworkZion wrote:
Guess I'm out of luck. Uncle Sam owns my soul. D:

What Branch?

Army 2005-2013.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 00:02:01


Post by: Luke_Prowler


To better represent the dark eldar and forge a narrative, Power from Pain will be changed as such:
Every time a Dark Eldar unit kills a unit, roll a 1d6 and consult the following chart:
1: The Dark Eldar unit is removed as a casualty, because clearly they've had enough and want to leave
2-3: If the unit has a character, lose 1d6 models, because (s)he's a selfish prick who wants it all to himself
4-6: If the unit has more than 5 models, lose 1d6 models. because they're all selfish pricks who want it all to themselves

In order to accommodate those who don't like this, they are also releasing a $50 (or regional equivalent) supplement, with all the interesting choices and play styles you'd expect from a codex.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 01:21:59


Post by: DocCheech17


I heard that Wyches will secrete a substance once per game that attracts Bears, BEARS!!!!

I also read that Ravagers and Raiders will have an option to upgrade one crew member to Jaba the Hut

Someone told me that there will be an Army wide option re roll all to hit / to wound rolls for a whole turn, but the controlling player must administer a number of lashes equal to the result of each reroll to themselves.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 03:17:16


Post by: TheCustomLime


To represent the Dark Eldar's inhuman speed all models chosen from Codex: Dark Eldar receive a 3++ save from shooting caused by all models except for those chosen from Codex: Space Marines. Space Marines are too awesome to be fooled by pansy elf jumping.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 04:50:56


Post by: Frozen Ocean


 TheCustomLime wrote:
To represent the Dark Eldar's inhuman speed all models chosen from Codex: Dark Eldar receive a 3++ save from shooting caused by all models except for those chosen from Codex: Space Marines. Space Marines are too awesome to be fooled by pansy elf jumping.


If a single Night Lord is on the table, every Dark Eldar model is immediately removed as a casualty (this is a thing that happened in a Black Library book, sigh).


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 05:00:19


Post by: ClockworkZion


To be fair the Night Lord used to be the thing that apparently inspired the concept of "Death" and the "Grim Reaper" (or some similar entity) in every culture and race in existence. I think he kind of earns the right to nuke a whole bunch of Dark Eldar (well up until he became a shard that is).

Anyways, back to the bullsh- I mean rumors!

All purchasing agreements must be signed in blood. Not yours, because that's too easy, and not your enemy's because that's too easy to do, but the blood of your most beloved friends and/or family after it's been drawn from their still beating heart after you slowly torture and dissect them over the course of a minimum of 72 straight hours. Any less and the purchase is null and void and GW gets to use you as real target practice with the brand new Heavy Bolter they spent most of their earnings on making!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 05:13:35


Post by: Frozen Ocean


 ClockworkZion wrote:
To be fair the Night Lord used to be the thing that apparently inspired the concept of "Death" and the "Grim Reaper" (or some similar entity) in every culture and race in existence. I think he kind of earns the right to nuke a whole bunch of Dark Eldar (well up until he became a shard that is).


I think you might be a little confused.

This is Aza'gorod, the Nightbringer, a C'tan (spoilered for size):
Spoiler:


These are Night Lords:

"Rawr! With these bat wings on our heads, we are the epitome of fearsome!"


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 05:29:43


Post by: ClockworkZion


Ah yes, I was confused. But not about the Heavy Bolter thing. GW it totally using their profits to fund a project to create real Space Marines so they can take over the world and Kirby can be crowned king.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh and Squats will be finally returning as a new faction under the Dark Eldar, but they'll be more Babylonian and evil. I think their name was Dark Demiurg or something.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 06:50:59


Post by: Ovion


DocCheech17 wrote:I heard that Wyches will secrete a substance once per game that attracts Bears, BEARS!!!!
Just one game per month.
Oh I know, that one was awful.
Dark Eldar - what you gonna do?



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 12:56:39


Post by: ClockworkZion


 Ovion wrote:
DocCheech17 wrote:I heard that Wyches will secrete a substance once per game that attracts Bears, BEARS!!!!
Just one game per month.
Oh I know, that one was awful.
Dark Eldar - what you gonna do?


They'll probably go off to cry in their rooms while writing poetry and listening emo rock. That and practice putting on more eye liner.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 14:09:29


Post by: angelofvengeance


Trollio14 wrote:
Kabalite Warriors are now the equivalent of Kaldor Draigo


Hilarious


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 14:32:20


Post by: ClockworkZion


 angelofvengeance wrote:
Trollio14 wrote:
Kabalite Warriors are now the equivalent of Kaldor Draigo


Hilarious

You should see the Mandrakes. Each of them are going to be the equivalent of an unbound C'Tan.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 15:21:33


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


 Frozen Ocean wrote:
 TheCustomLime wrote:
To represent the Dark Eldar's inhuman speed all models chosen from Codex: Dark Eldar receive a 3++ save from shooting caused by all models except for those chosen from Codex: Space Marines. Space Marines are too awesome to be fooled by pansy elf jumping.


If a single Night Lord is on the table, every Dark Eldar model is immediately removed as a casualty (this is a thing that happened in a Black Library book, sigh).


If the opponent's army contains an Iron Snake Space Marine, a land speeder and a dog the entire Dark Eldar army is immediately removed as a casualty (this also happened in a Black Library novel).

FORGE! THE! NARRATIVE!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 15:24:06


Post by: Lord Castellan


The Dark Eldar codex will be a well-balanced, fluffy codex with lots of rich background and well-sculpted models.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 15:32:00


Post by: ClockworkZion


New models will be sculpted by Jes Goodwin, but only using his feet, because after years of making Eldar and Dark Eldar he wanted a new challenge.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 15:35:43


Post by: Exergy


There actually will not be a 7th edition DE codex.
Instead there will be a coven supplement that modifies the 5th edition codex by allowing you to take a few Relics, roll on a coven warlord trait table, and field Grotesques with +1 Ld in exchange for not taking anything but Wracks, Haemoculuses, Grotesques, and vehicles that have wrack crew.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 19:53:58


Post by: Grim.Badger


Starting with the Dark Eldar, 1 in every 100 non-Imperial boxes will, instead of the proper sprues, contain a melted disc of plastic and a Callidus Assassin.

Similarly, 1 in every 100 Space Marine boxes will soon contain Alpha Legionnaires instead of their proper contents.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 20:07:24


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


96-Without irony, someone will write pages of fluff detailing how the DE are totally badass because they torture helpless prisoners. It will never dawn on the author that torturing helpless prisonsers is pretty much the opposite of being a badass.

No.

Wait.

That's a true rumor.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 20:11:40


Post by: Iron_Captain


 Frozen Ocean wrote:

These are Night Lords:

"Rawr! With these bat wings on our heads, we are the epitome of fearsome!"


The Epitome of Fearsome and the Masters of Stealth!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 20:22:33


Post by: Ovion


The special edition,
even though the previous few with a Codex, Artbook and Supplement, with Marker Coins in a magnetic Hardcase have been £100-110,
will only have a Slip Cover and cost £150 instead.

owait. :(


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 21:59:14


Post by: BobNT


GW will give away a 1500pt DE starter army to anyone that advance orders the new DE codex.

Said Codex will cost $9.99 upfront, then just 48
easy monthly payments of $99.99, plus 4 vials of blood from your first born son.



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 22:29:53


Post by: vipoid


BobNT wrote:
GW will give away a 1500pt DE starter army to anyone that advance orders the new DE codex.

Said Codex will cost $9.99 upfront, then just 48
easy monthly payments of $99.99, plus 4 vials of blood from your first born son.



This thread is only for false rumours. Please read the title next time.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/22 22:42:47


Post by: keltikhoa


Sooo... I am curious now, What book is it that Space Bat Man single handedly fights off an Dark Eldar Invasion?

-on topic-

For the true Dark Eldar commander, GW recommends use of the new Citidel brand eye liner (with a whole line of gamer inspired makeup to follow shortly)


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 04:16:51


Post by: Crimson Heretic


i heard they eat crayons


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 10:55:23


Post by: Bronzefists42


Crimson Heretic wrote:
i heard they eat crayons

I heard on Tuesdays they meet up with craftworld eldar at crayon eating parties.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 12:41:04


Post by: Happyjew


 Bronzefists42 wrote:
Crimson Heretic wrote:
i heard they eat crayons

I heard on Tuesdays they meet up with craftworld eldar at crayon eating parties.


It's actually on Wednesdays.

I mean...look is that a Daemonic Duck of some sort?


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 14:56:53


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


107 - In order to keep the Dark Eldar relvent to the 21st century the first Dataslate will be Black Eldar - also known as the Elfs who are Black and also in Space and Into Gangsta Rap as understood by a 50-year old White Guy. Black Eldar are very x2 scary. They wear their pants around their hips so their underwear shows, and they hold their Space Guns sideways and they listen to Loud Music and flash gang signs All The Time. Their fearsome battle cry of 'Wassupdawg 'chills the blood of 50 year old white guys everywhere.



NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 15:05:00


Post by: TheCustomLime


108- To help the reader immerse themselves in the horrible amount of pain Dark Eldar inflict upon common humans the Codex will have glass shards embedded in it, have it's wargear prices and rules listed in the most inconvenient places possible, bound with razor wire and will be printed in Comic Sans.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 15:10:06


Post by: Happyjew


I can deal with glass shards and razor wire, but please for the love of all that is holy, not Comic Sans.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 15:16:34


Post by: Unyielding Hunger


109. Wanting to appeal to a younger crowd, Vect's fluff has been retconned heavily. He still climbed his way to the top, but now it is revealed that he is incredibly saddened by his acts, and disappears for long lengths of time alone in the webway towards the direction of the Ulthwe Craftword, always returning home sad and depressed, trapped in a life he no longer wants.

110. Due to the large scale pillaging and kidnapping of other races, along with the Eldar race being in decline, it is revealed that the Dark Eldar have resorted to bringing in their own hybrid offspring which are immune to Slaanesh, to help them.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 15:28:52


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


111 - in order to update the concept and appeal to the primal fears of GW current fan base the DE will drop their 'torture, enslave, mutilate' theme for one of 'marry, have kids, pay the mortgage'. New troop types will include DE mother in laws, DE daycare bills and the dreaded DE IRS auditor.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/23 19:43:56


Post by: kitch102


Prior to deployment, the de player must roll a D6 for each unit and IC taken. On a 6, nothing happens. On a 1-5, that unit disappears temporarily with a copy of "The Xenos Next Door" and a box of tissues. The unit is automatically placed in reserves and, on arrival, is reduced to ws1 & BS1, due to the sudden wave of relaxation they feel.

And if you'd like to play this rule cinematically...


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 02:21:56


Post by: Jihadin


Military Discount


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 13:40:18


Post by: Insane Smile


Boobs. Boobs, boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs. Boobs? Boobs. Boobs? Boobs. Boobs? Boobs boobs. Boobs? Boobs! Boobs boobs! BOOBS!!!

Welp that's all I ever got out of DE


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 14:31:15


Post by: ClockworkZion


112. Dark Eldar will be allowed to take troop choices from other codexes with no upgrades as part of their new "Slaves to the Pain" rule. These units will be treated of allies of convenience who give out Pain Tokens everytime at least one model in the unit is killed.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 15:47:32


Post by: squidhills


113. All DE now have the following statline: WS4, BS4, S4, T4, I4, W1, A1, Ld 8, and have the ATSKNF USR, along with a 3+ save from power armor. Gotta sell those SM model kits somehow!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 16:20:42


Post by: TheCustomLime


114: Instead of the original cover being a painting of a hot topic reject standing in the middle of a barren battlefield with some cadian corpses lying around looking all edgy and cool the new codex cover will consist of Lelith dueling a Necron Lord. The Cadian corpses are staying, though. Jes Goodwin was very insistent on them.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 18:49:36


Post by: jhe90


 Happyjew wrote:
I can deal with glass shards and razor wire, but please for the love of all that is holy, not Comic Sans.


Comic sans, oh my of all the dark eldar tortures and such. Comic sans is a monsterous heresy!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 22:16:04


Post by: BunkerBob


Am I the only one hoping for a solid middle road codex to enjoy?


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/24 22:17:39


Post by: Psienesis


Wyches will now have subtle, but indisputably present, bumps beneath their loincloths. How far do you think DEldar go in body modification surgery?


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/25 14:16:49


Post by: vipoid


Are you tired of buying new books for your armies? Well, for the low, low price of £199.99, you can own an official army codex updating kit for every future edition of 40k! Here's a sneak peek at what's inside:

[Step d6] Choose d3+1 special characters, then remove the rest.

...

[Step d6+2] For each item of wargear, roll a d6. If it's a Tuesday, there's a crescent moon and you rolled a 6, remove d3x5pts from the item's cost. if you rolled a 1, it's Thursday and your blood tipe is AB Posative, instead add d6x5pts to the item's cost. If it's between 2.37pm and 622am on Sunday and you rolled a 3, consult Random Table #46 in appendix 1 for further details...

...

[Step 2d6-2] Pick 2d6 units, selected randomly via Random Table 32 in appendix 4, and then roll a further d6 for each of them and consult the table below:
2-4 On a d6 result of 2, consult Random Table 22 in Appendix 2. On a result of 3-5 Consult Random Table 41 in Appendix 3. On a result of 6, consult Random Table 4 in Appendix 1, and follow its instructions to find out which table to roll on.
5-6 Roll an additional d6 times on this table. Further results of 5-6 stack.

...

[Step (4d6)x(1d6+5)+(2d6-2)x(238d6-162)] Most importantly, since some of these steps are influenced by the day, time, phase of the moon, blood type etc., all alterations to the codex should be rolled for at the beginning of every game. Also remember that these updates must be applied an additional time for each successive edition of 40k.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/25 20:58:05


Post by: Psienesis


[Step (4d6)x(1d6+5)+(2d6-2)x(238d6-162)]


Ah, you've played Earthdawn, I see.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/25 21:09:37


Post by: Happyjew


The Dark Eldar will get their own version of the Avatar. He will have the following stats:

WS: D6+4
BS: D6+4
S: D4+4
T: D4+4
W: D4+3
I: D4+6
A: D4+1
Ld: 10
Sv: 2+/4+


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/25 22:32:00


Post by: TheCustomLime


The new codex will be printed in all new Citadel finepaper. This exciting new medium is a blend of cellulose and pig skin for added durability. Your codex will never tear due to overzealous kids and a frustrating game against the Necrons.

We are also releasing a Citadel sewing kit to help in the unlikely event your Citadel finepaper tears. Only for £19.99!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/25 22:34:50


Post by: BobNT


 TheCustomLime wrote:
The new codex will be printed in all new Citadel finepaper. This exciting new medium a blend of cellulose and pig skin for added durability.


500 special edition bacon flavoured issues will be available for $99.99


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/26 01:53:58


Post by: Pyeatt


Fluff includes befriending Blood Angels and Necrons for a bro-down at hooters.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/26 04:30:11


Post by: Jihadin


Kabalite Warriors with fixed bayonets adds +1 attack


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/26 15:37:15


Post by: Exergy


 Happyjew wrote:
The Dark Eldar will get their own version of the Avatar. He will have the following stats:

WS: D6+4
BS: D6+4
S: D4+4
T: D4+4
W: D4+3
I: D4+6
A: D4+1
Ld: 10
Sv: 2+/4+


reroll every phase


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/26 21:39:32


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


135 - Prior to each battle the Dark Eldar demonstrate their commitment to pain by cutting themselves on their numerous spikes and blades. For each moe in the army roll to wound and save, removing any casualties. To balance this points are reduced 33% across the board. Course this means you need a third more models for the same army but hey...


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/26 22:17:29


Post by: kitch102


De can now roll 4D6 when assaulting and pick the best result from 2d6. Also, you can charge out of transports, irrespective of the distance moved.

If only...


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/26 22:27:43


Post by: Ovion


 Exergy wrote:
 Happyjew wrote:
The Dark Eldar will get their own version of the Avatar. He will have the following stats:

WS: D6+4
BS: D6+4
S: D4+4
T: D4+4
W: D4+3
I: D4+6
A: D4+1
Ld: 10
Sv: 2+/4+
reroll every phase
Funnily enough, I have a homebrew unit that's like this.

Sort of... more daemon-y Mandrakes, infused with warpstuff and the wall of the webway having been stuck there.
All their stats were either D3, D4 or D6 +0 / +1 / +2, and you rolled it any time you needed to use it, to find out how good it was at that moment.
(i.e. you want to shoot the Blast Pistol it comes with - roll for it's BS, then roll to hit.)


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/27 11:14:42


Post by: Chrissy_J


There will be a very Limited Edition Codex bound in dwarf skin. Real dwarf skin.

Warwick Davis is said to be in hiding.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/29 10:01:00


Post by: Aedgar Perri


Mr. T Mr. T, do you have any predictions for the new Dark Eldar Codex?

Mr. T "...Pain."


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/29 19:14:15


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


the first dataslate has been previewed, are you ready for...


Codex: Darker Eldar: While the conventional Dark Eldar are into torture and slaughter, the extreme Darker Eldar are into torture (x2) and slaughter (x2)! They are totally extreme and radical and cutting edge and have tatoos and peircings and are not your father's Dark Eldar! No! No! And they definitely are not a 50 year old guy's idea of what kids today will like. While the Dark Eldar might eat a man's liver on a special occasion, the Darker Eldar will totally eat a guy's heart like it's no big thing, they're all like "yeah man just chillaxing and eating some guy's heart with my cafe latte". The Darker Eldar are the most awesome radical extreme badass army ever! Codex: Darker Eldar is available exclusively on the Apple Newton and Palm Pilot Treo 90.


Rumors of Codex: Darkest Eldar could not be confirmed at this time.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/29 19:34:28


Post by: ClockworkZion


Vect will be in the codex.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/30 01:47:21


Post by: SisterSydney


Due to a catastrophic search-and-replace error which GW refuses to correct, henceforth, in the grim darkness of the far future, there are only COWS. All models will be updated accordingly.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/30 01:50:32


Post by: ClockworkZion


 SisterSydney wrote:
Due to a catastrophic search-and-replace error which GW refuses to correct, henceforth, in the grim darkness of the far future, there are only COWS. All models will be updated accordingly.

Hey now, I thought this thread was for FAKE rumors!

And speaking of them: Sisters will be in the new Dark Eldar codex as a new "slave race". The Adeptus Sororitas codex will be removed from distribution as a result.


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/30 01:52:26


Post by: Accolade


 ClockworkZion wrote:
 SisterSydney wrote:
Due to a catastrophic search-and-replace error which GW refuses to correct, henceforth, in the grim darkness of the far future, there are only COWS. All models will be updated accordingly.

Hey now, I thought this thread was for FAKE rumors!

And speaking of them: Sisters will be in the new Dark Eldar codex as a new "slave race". The Adeptus Sororitas codex will be removed from distribution as a result.


I always needed an excuse to get some Sisters! They'll fit in well with the DE, seeing as they'll be treated more-or-less the same since being under GW before!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/30 03:49:21


Post by: koooaei


Dark eldar will have a range of new models. This image leaked recently and 'the guy from GW' claims that the left one will belong to Asdrubael Vect:

Spoiler:


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/09/30 15:47:35


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


OK.

For reals this time.

The first dataslate will focus on Wych Cult raiding forces and is titled Boobs on the Ground. It's already the subject of a viral marketing campaign by News Corp.

(BTW if Raging Heroes or someone does not do a suppliment called Boobs on the Ground they are idiots!)


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/10/01 15:36:23


Post by: melkorthetonedeaf


Special release party with Limited Edition tickets, to be held at GW HQ:


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/10/01 16:05:08


Post by: Static-Cat


At the end of the game, all captured units by the Dark Eldar player are kept as his own!

On a side note: To sell more miniatures, GW will now move its game toward an overbloated POG game!
...Units will also only be available at random in booster packs!... Coming next year!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/10/02 15:18:59


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


OK, because you demanded it...

Coming in November Codex DARKEST! ELDAR!

Unlike the stogy conservative Dark Eldar, or the poser Darker Eldar the DARKEST! ELDAR! are totally @#$%ing insane and tripping out ALL! THE! TIME!

HQ - They have no HQ! Aren't you listening? They are wild and crazy and extreme and doing the Dew ALL! THE! TIME! they don't take orders from no one.

Troops - Geeze man, listen, these aren't the namby-pamby Dark Eldar, these are the DARKEST ELDAR, they have no sissy troops liek all the lame armes.

Fast Attack - All Darkest Eldar are fast attacking ALL! THE! TIME!

Heavy support - No Darkest Eldar would ever use heavy support, they are TOO! EXTREME! and TOO! RADICAL!

Elite - All Darkest Eldar are elite ALL! THE! TIME!

Special Rules - The Darkest Eldar don't follow rules, they break them.

Random - The Darkest Eldar sure as @#$% aren't gonna listen to you nerd-boy so all movement, shooting and assault are determined by the scatter die ALL! THE! TIME! You should be happy they even let you use them. A hit means they attack themselves, because that's just how the mother @#$%ing Darkest Eldar roll yo.

Below is concept art showing the Darkest Eldar taking on the Raven Guard in the spires of Mordia.

Spoiler:


As you can see these are some of the most detailed and EXTREME! models GW has made EVER!


NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors! @ 2014/10/13 04:02:19


Post by: Kid_Kyoto


Yeah it's a bit late but this seemed to be the place to show off my new sig.