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**liquidjoshi**

^^

What he said. Tell him he's doing a great job, 'cause it's hilarious.

**Kroothawk**

26th May:

When we ask you "What army do you collect?" it's not because we're trying to sell you paints and glue. We ask that question of everyone we meet.

At all times. In all circumstances. "What army do you collect?" is the ultimate chat up line.

2nd June:

Yes, the "coming soon" Khorne Lord of Battle / Bloodknight model is meant to look like a midget squatting on a wheelchair. It's a deliberate design choice; midgets are cool.

9th June:

As some of you may have noticed GWHQ management recently noticed that we had stopped stalking customers round the store and demanding that they talk to the staff members.

GWHQ cares about the customers, and knows that people who've been in the hobby for most of their life love being pestered about their purchases.

Please bear with us during this renewed period of enthusiasm and we'll soon be able to treat you like a human being and not a wallet on legs again.

**SickSix**

I love those guys.

**Breotan**

What's funny is that GW's actual efforts are becoming a self-parody. Take this for example:

So, for 24 hours (and ONLY 24 hours) you can purchase this exclusive Iyanden force. After that, the 24 hours will have expired and you will be left with no other option but to select it all - one item at a time - for the exact same price.

This is like GW calling you an idiot while they sit there humping your dog's leg.

**Pacific**

That's pretty hilarious...

I suppose might be useful for a parent who has absolutely no idea what they are buying, but then there should be other guidance for that kind of thing, and it wouldn't hurt even to knock 5% off the total price!

**Breotan**

I wonder if the "only available for 24 hours" isn't pushing the limits of advertising laws somehow?

**Herzlos**

Breotan wrote:
I wonder if the "only available for 24 hours" isn't pushing the limits of advertising laws somehow?

Not really, if the 1-click bundle is genuinely only available for 24 hours. Just because you can get the same thing with half a dozen clicks doesn't matter. So it'll be within the letter of the law but is very much against the spirit. Just as with offering 0% discount bundles.

**Kroothawk**

23rd June:

One of the highlights of working in a GW store is when we ask a customer what they are painting, and they announce (with a hint of self-satisfaction) that they're painting a none GW product.

Being hobbyists with access to the internet, we have never heard of none-GW miniature ranges, so we always politely point out to the customer that we've never heard of these things. Usually, this ends the conversation, but we delight in those all to common occasions when a customer decides to lecture us about a product we don't stock and aren't allowed to discuss in the store.

It's the little things that make this job so rewarding.

30th June:

In further Games Workshop Head Quarters News, we can happily confirm that this years 'Limited Edition' game will not be Dreadfleet. Even though we still have some in stock.

Also, just because you really want it to be Blood Bowl, that doesn't mean you get to be smug when it actually turns out to be exactly that.

**sing your life**

These guys are [mostly] hilarious.

**RiTides**

Agreed, thanks for sharing it

**KalashnikovMarine**

sing your life wrote:
These guys are [mostly] hilarious.

and just a little bit depressing

**sing your life**

KalashnikovMarine wrote:
sing your life wrote:
These guys are [mostly] hilarious.

and just a little bit depressing

There are a couple of duds[ i.e they should have found out the general reception of the Khornemower before making that joke], but the rest is great.

**Kroothawk**

GW Fulchester wrote:In lieu of further price rises this year, let's all just chip in and buy CEO Mark Wells that yacht he's been after.

Let's be honest, that's what our customers are really all about.

Okay, they meant Tom Kirby.

**snurl**

These guys rule! They have a better grip on GW than GW does.

**RandyMcStab**

*Waits for inevitable termitubbies posts*

**Stormphoenix**

If I was involved in corporate strategy at GW I'd keep the site alive simply because it does actually provide pretty good feedback on their policies.

**Kroothawk**

You mean, the corporate strategy that has systematically killed every other channel for feedback?

**Kroothawk**

GW Fulchester wrote:We are happy to announce the full story arc for the White Scars in the ongoing Horus Heresy novel series.

Jaghatai Khan and his Legion will find a horse. It will be dead. They will flog it. This book is expected to reach the top of the New York Times Best Sellers List and stay there for ever.

It will be written by either Laurie Goulding, Nick Kyme (Author) or that bloke who works reception on Wednesdays.

Spoiler:

**licclerich**

Due to lack of sales at this branch of GW we are closing down. Thank you for your custom.

SALE
Upto 50% added on!!!!!!!
Nothing is allowed to go!!!!!

We are pleased to announce that for every £250 spent in this store you can have a GW £25 voucher!
(Not redeamable against any GW product)

**Kroothawk**

This is a good one:

GW Fulchester wrote:Okay, we admit it; this PDF is the worst supplement ever. The rules make no sense and the fluff isn't connected with reality in any way.
http://investor.games-workshop.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Games-Workshop-Group-13-combined-FINAL-without-title-page.pdf

**OrlandotheTechnicoloured**

and now a competition...

Games Workshop: Fulchester

Everyone who likes this status update will get entered into a draw to win one of the latest releases from our Specialist Games Range. Share this status to get two chances.

shame about the prize.......

**Kroothawk**

At Games Workshop Fulchester, we pride ourselves on high quality mickey-taking. Then something like this comes along, which is too ridiculous to parody.
Astartes Ultra – A Complete Ultramarines Chapter | Games Workshop

**gossipmeng**

We mock GW and its one click bundles, but I'd be curious to see how many they actually sell. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually do quite well - enough to justify their continued existence at least.

**Compel**

Truth is, you're probably right. As far as the normal bundles are. It wouldn't surprise me if it's relatively common for a parent to say to a Little Timmy. 'You can have 1 big thing for your birthday.' And they'll point at one of the medium sized one-click bundles. This theory also helps explain the move to 'strike forces.'

**Kroothawk**

GW Fulchester wrote:It is Games Day UK this weekend. If you can't make this weekend, don't worry we can simulate all the thrills and spills of the event in-store.

By making you wait for an hour at the till before you can make a purchase.

GW Fulchester wrote:Amazing. Outstanding. Kudos to the hard work of the staff, and it's always nice to see a massive venue filled with the smiling faces of satisfied customers who got the play all the games they wanted.

Yes, Eurogamer Expo was really good. Also, Games Day happened. We're very sorry.

**Kroothawk**

GW Fulchester wrote:Presenting, a tiny bit of a Sister of Battle. If you're very good, we may even show you a flash of ankle.

GW Digital Facebook wrote:We’ve been inundated with requests asking for a little bit more info on the new Adepta Sororitas book coming later in the month.

We don’t normally do this, but we’ll make you a deal: if you can help us get 100 new likes by the end of the day (up to 1146), we’ll let you see the new codex cover in all it’s glory.

Here’s a little teaser of what you can expect.

- Eddie

**Kroothawk**

As you all know, we very rarely produce books, audios or tea-towels relating to the Horus Heresy, as that would spoil the mystery.

That's why we are offering hardcore fans the chance to buy a Graphic Novel detailing a very minor battle in this galaxy spanning battle for the entirely reasonable sum of £85, which we're sure you'd agree is a reasonable price for a comic book.
http://www.blacklibrary.com/Blog/exciting-news-about-the-black-library-weekender.html

**sing your life**

I would actually buy a HH tea-towel.

**J.Black**

I'd be more interested in buying HH toilet paper.

**chromedog**

You can already get it.
They call them "novels" - but the sheets aren't pre-perforated and you have to tear them out yourself.

Although, being another GW product, it's more accurately described as "pre-used" toilet paper - as it's already full of ****