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Around the Secondary/College era I was embarrassed to tell anybody, due to me trying to keep a high profile of myself at the time. Not kidding here, but the only people who knew about my hobby was my best mate, and my cousin (who is basically a best mate relative).

What's more shameful is that I followed stuff I wasn't even into that much just to keep this "high profile". I knew about professional football and talked about it often, but really all I wanted to do was talk about how awesome that one fight from Dragon Ball Z was.

This is why I now don't care if others find out, and if they want to talk about it then sure, ill share my thoughts.

Nomeny wrote:
I'm not ashamed of my hobby, but I am frequently ashamed that I share an association with some of my fellow hobbyists.

So much this, and not just the stereotypical "hygiene is something that happens to other people" (though that's certainly too common). It's also some of the just...obnoxious people who seem to believe they have uncovered the One True Hobby Path and are just jerks to people who don't do things the way they do them. Now, there's certainly room in the hobby for spirited discussion on the merits of given units/cards/tactics and how to maximize what one is doing, but there's a line that so many people seem completely oblivious to wherein it's no longer about helping someone out as telling them that they are guilty of the heinous crime of "wrongfun."

As a few examples, people who like playing with card sleeves on their stuff; I am one of these people for many games because the cards aren't cheap and I've had cats throw up on enough things to value the protection they provide. I would not insist that someone else do the same, but have certainly seen people do that. Rivet counters who throw hissy-fits that a model was assembled "wrong" and make a person who put a lot of enthusiasm into an otherwise well-done project feel like crap because they put the wrong detail on the model for the period. Someone who commits the ultimate crime of putting a sub-optimal unit on the table for the inexcusable reason of "I like the unit" getting lectured about points efficiency and competitive play. So forth and so on I see repeated at gaming venues in a variety of different formats.

It's so pervasive that it has leaked into the general perception of the hobby. I had a friend pick up one of my X-Wing ships and zoom around with it going "pew! pew!" before she put it back down going "Sorry...I didn't mean to misuse your model." I just looked at her and said "They're toys...for fun. You did exactly what you're supposed to do with it and enjoyed it."

So yeah, no real shame in the hobby of gaming due to the costs, but the people make me reluctant to bring others into it. Going back to the OP, I wouldn't stress too much about getting kids in a less well-off family into the hobby as a whole (though maybe not the GW variant of it). After all, if we didn't have hobbies we could take much easier and lower-paying jobs. Wanting to buy more plasticrack could very easily be the carrot that helps them be more successful in their adult lives.

Iv had my share of oops i did it again moments of shame

when i buy things that i wanted and didnt need.

then i realize i have these things now and i dont feel so bad.

 Krinsath wrote:

Nomeny wrote:
I'm not ashamed of my hobby, but I am frequently ashamed that I share an association with some of my fellow hobbyists.

Spoiler:

So much this, and not just the stereotypical "hygiene is something that happens to other people" (though that's certainly too common). It's also some of the just...obnoxious people who seem to believe they have uncovered the One True Hobby Path and are just jerks to people who don't do things the way they do them. Now, there's certainly room in the hobby for spirited discussion on the merits of given units/cards/tactics and how to maximize what one is doing, but there's a line that so many people seem completely oblivious to wherein it's no longer about helping someone out as telling them that they are guilty of the heinous crime of "wrongfun."

As a few examples, people who like playing with card sleeves on their stuff; I am one of these people for many games because the cards aren't cheap and I've had cats throw up on enough things to value the protection they provide. I would not insist that someone else do the same, but have certainly seen people do that. Rivet counters who throw hissy-fits that a model was assembled "wrong" and make a person who put a lot of enthusiasm into an otherwise well-done project feel like crap because they put the wrong detail on the model for the period. Someone who commits the ultimate crime of putting a sub-optimal unit on the table for the inexcusable reason of "I like the unit" getting lectured about points efficiency and competitive play. So forth and so on I see repeated at gaming venues in a variety of different formats.

It's so pervasive that it has leaked into the general perception of the hobby. I had a friend pick up one of my X-Wing ships and zoom around with it going "pew! pew!" before she put it back down going "Sorry...I didn't mean to misuse your model." I just looked at her and said "They're toys...for fun. You did exactly what you're supposed to do with it and enjoyed it."

So yeah, no real shame in the hobby of gaming due to the costs, but the people make me reluctant to bring others into it. Going back to the OP, I wouldn't stress too much about getting kids in a less well-off family into the hobby as a whole (though maybe not the GW variant of it). After all, if we didn't have hobbies we could take much easier and lower-paying jobs. Wanting to buy more plasticrack could very easily be the carrot that helps them be more successful in their adult lives.

I use anything as proxy for my 40k armies and made some "unorthodox" armies to say the least
The people i met who had a hissyfit of what i used or my conversions, is just hilarious. "You can't do that!" , but i did
I just feed on their despair i sometimes also do not agree with conversion or fluff idea's but it is their stuff, and they can so with it what they want (Except my little pony marines! )

Some posts here unfortunately hit too close to home. I'm more inured to lack of social skills and to a lesser extent hygiene (to a point), but I've only really gotten truly embarrassed by fellow gamers online. Keyboard Kommandoes, I call them. I'm sure you've seen their like.

I stay away from comments on, pretty much everything, because I find them unproductive, somehow at some point not too far down the line it breaks from the topic and just becomes some racist or intolerant or ignorant comment and I know that's coming. But at the end of my 7th week of gaming forum adventures I elected to come into 5-6 of these forums knowing what I would see but wanted to give it a try and it honestly has gotten way better than my previous impressions. Maybe because Warseer is now gone for 9 days and who knows, but the daily dose of mindless hate has gone way down.

I'm embarrassed to have, especially new gamers, new blood into the hobby, asking for help or expressing their interest into a hobby we need and we sorta asked for so we can keep playing these games, and to have them be discouraged or turned off by the very slim margin that is these keyboard kommandoes. When you don't have to see someone physically in front of you it's a bit different Often we have to make the conscious effort to steer them away from some forums and FB groups and even some fellow hobbyists to not scare them off. Hopefully this continues to be less and less. It's not only GW stuff, where the online community seems to hate yet continue to buy and play, with a unique fury; they also have venom for other games and even people. Whatever. But thanks for sharing all these posts, it's insightful

I think a lot of the toxicity is just online forums, not just wargamers.

I must say though for a good three or four years I would only post in the painting and modeling sections of DAKKA and Warseer because I just liked the hobby more by NOT reading the general boards. It wasn't until AoS that I started posting back in general, but I think that's coming to a close as I no longer have a dog in the hunt. (not to mention it's become quite circular!)

 pox wrote:
I think a lot of the toxicity is just online forums, not just wargamers.

I must say though for a good three or four years I would only post in the painting and modeling sections of DAKKA and Warseer because I just liked the hobby more by NOT reading the general boards. It wasn't until AoS that I started posting back in general, but I think that's coming to a close as I no longer have a dog in the hunt. (not to mention it's become quite circular!)

Yeah, I've been told video gamers are bad, too. So a con of the online communities is this toxicity. But there are still enough pros otherwise we wouldn't be here

I have "The Box of Shame" but that just refers to the hideous amount of stuff I have to paint and assemble

From a financial point of view, I don't feel much shame as I don't spend a massive amount on minis in the grand scheme of things. I've got enough to keep me going for now.

In terms of whether I feel shame about being into it, no again. Not now anyway. I'm 32 so I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. I read comics, love sci-fi and fantasy and video games so my love of the hobby is for me an extension of that.

That said I'm fairly...I don't know how to phrase this right so bear with me, mainstream in my tastes in other things. So this isn't my only hobby by a long shot, that said even if it was I doubt I'd care.

I'm not part of any modelling or gaming community locally though, I imagine some of the shame/frustrations detailed previously in here might affect me then.

I painted with my dorm door open in college. The girls across the hall were often over, watching me paint, excited at how I could paint such a small model with such detail. It's all about the art aspect. And I've also used the "more advanced RISK" when describing it.

I'm more ashamed of the mass amounts of grey sitting in a box that nobody except me knows about that may never get built than I am about people knowing that I paint and play.

Mate of mine used to joke he would hide his White Dwarf inside a porn mag on the train as he found it less embarrassing that way.

I'm not ashamed of my hobby, although I don't go out of my way to tell people about it. There is one situation I would feel sort of ashamed though, and that is if my oldest friends, the ones I played Warhammer with when I was 12, found out that I had started again. It's so heavily associated with our childhood that it would feel like telling them I have started buying Turtles action figures or Pogs again at 30 years old Other than that I really don't care, I'll happily show new aquiantances my models when they visit.

It's funny, my parents roll their eyes at the hobby, but when we've got guests over they show off my "junk" with pride and always point out that "the lad built and painted it all by himself"

 foostick wrote:
I have "The Box of Shame"

This is my shed. Into this shed goes the remnants of hobbies past, and of games no longer played that I still like models for but cannot find opponents to play it with.
Inside the house I have the cupboard of shame. No glass doors to show off the mandollies. Just plain wooden doors.
They aren't hidden out of shame - I just don't feel the need to display them. The same with the box of old gaming trophies from cons past (in the shed).

Sometimes I am ashamed of my "investments" of my time and money. I work part time for minimum wage and go to school so I have very little of both. I keep money in the bank, so I'm never that worried about how much I spend (okay maybe recently I have been. damn those awesome kickstarters!) but when a weekend passes without me accomplishing anything hobby-wise or school-wise due to exhaustion/burnout and other time commitments, it takes a pretty heavy toll on me and i end up kicking myself for the rest of the week.

My parents really do try to understand this weird obsession. My father was actually the one that convinced ME to start playing X-Wing. They know this hobby is constructive and that it's better for me to get out and socialize at Tabletop Game Club Night or D&D club and to build and paint things in my spare time instead of drinking and doing drugs. But I'm still living with them and it's impossible to hide all the boxes getting delivered. I get frequent reminders to "not spend too much on this stuff" and I reply that I got it on sale/discount/clearance or that I traded something of mine for it and it didn't actually cost me any money. Which is true most of the time

I'm a kid with no purpose or direction. But I've loved Science Fiction and Fantasy for all my life. I love this hobby, the great people involved in it (even those that are socially inept or hygiencally challenged) and all the great ideas for games and models I see in this golden age of tabletops. I've even started wondering if maybe I could make a career out of this hobby.

I don't personally hide mine,
I find it hilarious when people find out I do this as a hobby as they don't say I look the type, as I hit the gym a lot and am fairly athletic.
Its quite funny being such a contradiction and working in the hobby I love so much

Not this one, the dolls maybe (well to women, they seem to not be chill with anything I like lol)...
Though weirdly act like men are the more judgmental when nothing is further from the truth.
I'm bad enough with girls without something weird like model wargaming bringing me down lol

 TheCustomLime wrote:
I'm more ashamed about all of the unpainted miniatures I have lying in storage then people finding out I play Warmachine/40k.

#TRUTH

Please don't revive threads over a month old for spammy posts like that, it's against the rules