Obsessed?

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**Corpsman_of_Krieg**

Maybe that's too strong of a word, but perhaps "all-encompassed" fits the bill. Lately, my folks have been a little uppity about me spending my money on 40K stuff, which is nothing new, as I've been building my armies slowly for the past 7 years. I don't think that I'm too into the game, as I only have about 2500 points of Templars and 1200 points of IG, with little intent to buy anything more anytime soon.

When I heard about the new comic book out about the Black Templars, I shamed myself out of purchasing it because of how my parents would react.

My question for you all is this: am I too interested in Warhammer 40,000, or are my parents right - meaning that for the three remaining years that I am under their tutelage and registered as one of their dependents, I should quit the game?

Maybe I'm coming to the wrong crowd, or maybe I'm just getting all sappy and emotional with myself. I'm just looking for the opinion of a few third-party people to give me some perspective. Thanks in advance.

CK

**Hordini**

The short answer: No. I don't think have 2500 points of Templars and 1200 points of IG counts as an obsession. Especially combined with the fact that you don't plan to buy anything else in the near future.

If you enjoy the game and it makes you happy, don't quit. I'm very serious about this.

In my experience, one of the best things you can do is to help your parents realize that wargaming is a positive creative outlet, and a good hobby to have in general. As long as the rest of your life is relatively well balanced, there really shouldn't be a problem.

Hobby stuff like this only becomes a problem if you take it to an extreme and you start doing stupid stuff like spending your textbook money on miniatures or racking up a huge credit card bill, or skipping work or school or whatever to game.

Balance is key. Wargaming can be an extremely rewarding, and very social hobby, as long as you balance it well with the rest of your life - but that goes for anything that you do.

It might be good to have a nice talk with your parents and explain to them the positive aspects of the hobby, and also explain to them that you're not planning on blowing a ton of money on miniatures all the time either. Just a little money every once in awhile.

**Corpsman_of_Krieg**

Thanks for the quick reply. I felt that they were a little off-based in their assumptions about the game, and have tried many, many, many times to teach them how to play, or have offered to observe a game between myself and my brother. I can't say that I've had much success. I don't think it helps that the cover of the BGB has a huge skull with a bionic eye backed by an axe on it.

I've had fun expanding my gaming group though, and my parents oddly did not have any qualms with me going to a couple rounds on a Friday night.

I think the best part about your advice is the bit on balance, which is true about anything and everything - as you said. I've worked out since I was 14, am involved with sports - it's a new one every year - and volunteer at the local hospital in the summers.

Thanks for not confirming my worst fear, Hordini. I guess I just needed to gain someone else's perspective.

CK

**Hauler**

CK,

Aside from the obvious 'evil' pictures or models in any game, why would your parents be upset that you're 'obsessed' with the game? Are you failing from school? Are you having issues balancing your checkbook trying to purchase hobby materials? Are you not attending the extracurriculars or school for that matter because of the hobby? If you said yes to any of those, then yeah, you should probably take a step back. Everything in moderation.

But the hobby offers a lot. It allows us to express ourselves, with the artistic side of the hobby. It teaches us patience, to build and paint such models. It offers some mental stimulation as we outwit and outmaneouver our opponent. Not to mention the social aspect of the hobby.

Yes, some models may be considered evil or cruel, but in all honesty, its to the eye of the beholder. Just think of the models as glamorized chess pieces.

Sooner or later, your parents will help see the good parts of the hobby. Although, admittedly a lot of gamers tend to not be well groomed and 'scrubby- in a I need a shower' look...=P But get beside that, you'll meet a lot of good hobbyists.

Cheers.

**Gabe**

Trust me, you aren't even close to obssession....

5500 points of Tyranids
2000 points of Marines
2000 points of IG
3000 points of WHFB Chaos
2250 points of WHFB Lizardmen
1500 points of Night Goblins
2700 points of Menoth (WARMACHINE)
Countless other Reaper/Rackham/misc figures that I just buy because they look cool.

And then this year I am starting:
Thousand Sons
Trollbloods (HORDES)
Khador (WARMACHINE)
And possibly finishing my 2000 points of Flames of War Germans.

**Gundammecha**

Corpsman

your not obsessed at all, you have a healthy interest in a great hobby that not only encourages your imagination, creativity, and hand eye co-ordination, but your mental arithmatic, problem solving skills, and tactical and logical thinking. Not to mention your sportsmanship and interaction with others, which are all important social skills.

It brings people together in a social activity and also allow you a hobby in your own personal time. People spend much more money on computer games that have little or no of the benefits listed above.

When I was a "red shirt" *sniff* I always used to tell parents about the positive aspects of the hobby. It's not all about death metal and blowing peoples heads off. The skills that you can develop during gaming are widely usable everyday key skills.

There are lots of reasons why your parents should be happy that you are involved in this.

Like others have said its all about balance. Everything in moderation. But one thing are you using your parents money or your own money to buy your stuff and how old are you exactly dude?

*EDIT* Sorry if i mirrored over peoples comments I didn't read any replies before posting... silly me.

**onlainari**

It's all about whether you do what they really want you to do, which is probably study. If you're doing well at school your parents won't worry so much. If the hobby interferes with that then you've got a problem.

**Railguns**

You also have to realize, the only reason your family makes a sniff about it is because they care about you. You said what, a dependant for 3 more years? That means college is soon. College is a BIG(let me say it again, for emphasis) a BIG investment that requires a phenominal amount of dedication to actually get anything out of. Your parents probably think that you are becoming some sort of Death-Metal psycho who will flake this up pretty badly( it happens, trust me). Your parents want you to make the most of it.

So, do what these people have said. Well, first be thankful that you posted this on Dakka, practically the only close-to-mature(

) Warhammer forum I have ever found. Emphasize the positive aspects of what you are doing. Don't be a shut-in. Don't act like a socially aborted DnD hyper-nerd.

Honestly, if you have other important aspects of your life, than obsession isn't an issue. I've heard people complain, in my wee days, of their parents lambasting them for spending an entire paycheck the day they got it on Space Wolves, and not see anything wrong with what they did. That is a problem.

**Frazzled**

As a parent myself:
1) Is this negatively impacting your school. School work but also associated clubs or activities that will help in college, trade school, or the military?
2) Is this negatively impacting your social life? Are you hanging with other gaming geeks and this is an avenue for socializing or are you cloistered in your room, painting, and cogitating? This would be a key concern for me that you might not think about. We want our rugrats to be well rounded professional athlete/genius?s who are humble and spend time feeding the poor. That and I want an F4U Vought Corsair with matching 20MM cannon. I ask you is desiring that your boy buy you a vintage WWII fighter plane when he graduates too much to ask? I think not! Er I digress.
3) Is this a monetary commitment that is sucking up all your available money? If no then this really isn?t an issue (and I have a bank account you can send that surplus to, come on I gotta eat). If yes then this is also a consideration. However, in light of video games etc. this doesn?t sound overly large.

Now back to envisioning ?Screaming Death? buzzing BMW driving soccer moms in my neighborhood while the Little Woman sighs and says ?there he goes again...? DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!!!

**moosifer**

I have had the opposite experience with my parents. While Im 2 years out of college with a job and my own place, my parents have found that 40k is a godsend. They have always been concerned with my computer usage, and when I started 40k I was playing on the comp alot. But 40k is a hobby, regardless of what you do, it is a more interactive version of model engineering (model trains). Everyone, or I hope everyone's parents, had a model train when they were younger and experienced buildign stuff for that

I just hope JFraz turns his kids into trukk boys and has put the obligitory red paint on his battlewagon... I mean mini-van.

**blue loki**

I have a feeling that this is stemming from a monetary issue.

Parents pay for TONS of stuff that you may not even realize, yet you are free to spend a fair bit of money on a hobby while remaining their dependant.

Who is/will be paying for your college education?

Even if you have a scholarship, that only covers so much. Laundry, food, books, chicks... most of that is NOT covered, and the money has to come from somewhere.

**moosifer**

Loki dont lie to the poor kid, women dont exist at college! If you can steer clear of the after you start going to the bar, you will be much better off

**malfred**

3700 points of miniatures over the course of seven years? That's not bad.

Gamers get:

*Reading skills
*Math skills
*Hand-eye coordination
*SOME social skills

Gamers lose out on:
*OTHER social skills
*Exercise
*Some financial savings

Ok, let's break down your habit. 3700 points divided by 7 = 528ish points per year.

528pts/12 months a year = 44 pts per month...

So if you spread out your major purchases you've probably spent 10-40 dollars a month on figures?

You should point them to the following hobbies:
*Shopping for brand name clothes (I mean the obsessive type)
*Cigarette smoking
*Hard liquor
*Paintball
*Airsoft
*5-10 DVDs per month
*1 X-box 360 game per month

Your head seems to be on pretty straight.

Maybe it looks like an obsession because you're not doing things they expect you to
do like exercise, go out with friends other than your gamer buddies, date, homework,
etc. Then it's just a matter of balancing things out so you do some of that

**fellblade**

A discussion board run by gamers for gamers is probably not the best place to ask for opinions about whether you are obsessed by a game.

**Pariah Press**

Well, if they're concerned about your spending, why not sit down with them and discuss budgeting or something. I'm a grown man with three children, and I have a budget for my gaming spending (actually, its US$10 per week to spend on any stupid thing I want to buy, which usually translates into snacks or miniatures). I'm sure that once you impressed them with your financial seriousness and put your spending into the proper perspective, they'll lay off. Plus, such skills will help you later in life.

**Corpsman_of_Krieg**

Whew. Lots of quick responses. Let's see if I can answer most of them.

@Hauler: I guess the primary reason my parents are irritated with my involvement in 40K is that a) my mother is a bit of a bible thumper (not to bash Christianity in any way ? I consider myself a devout Christian as well. She simply brings it up somehow whenever I talk to her about 40K), who judged the entire game upon my purchasing the 4th Edition Rulebook, and b) both consider it to be an expensive endeavor.

@Gundammecha: I pay for all of my stuff with my own money that I make working a summer job at a restaurant. I am 18, am a High Honors (3.7+ GPA) student, and participate in the local art group, intramural sports league, cycling team, and shotgun team. I know that I?m not socially decrepit, but I still can?t figure out what drives their intense dislike of the game.

@jfrazell: 1) No- read above. 2) No. I go to a boarding school, and get about 3 months out of the year to be at home, of which relatively little time is spent on my models. 3) All the money spent on my stuff was mine, with the exception of the two christmas presents I?ve received over the years.

@malfred: What?s funny is that they enjoy the fact that I paintball, and have offered to buy my brother and me the paint we use. I usually refuse on the grounds that paintball is no different from WH40K, and that I prefer to pay for all of my hobbies.

@fellblade: True, but I have to start somewhere. I figured a place where people have an idea of what I?m talking about is a good place to start.

@Pariah Press: That?s just it. They think any money that I spend is too much money. Lately, they haven?t bothered me as much about it, because I finally railed on them for getting pissed that I was spending my own money that I had made at a decent job. Plan or no plan, I?ve done just about everything in my power to show them that I?m not a little troll who?s hiding in a cave with my models, yet they remain staunchly opposed. I guess in some ways I?m being defiant, but then again, I don?t think that I?m off-base or crazy by spending about 150 bucks a year on something that I really enjoy, despite the negative attention I get from my parents as a result.

Thanks to all for the quick responses. I don?t know how I?m going to resolve this, as its been an ongoing problem since day one of the past 8 years, but your advice has helped nonetheless.

CK

**Frazzled**

Que? A fellow shotgunner? I did know they had shotgun teams in school, and I'm from Texas, land of the shotgun.

No, sounds like you're not a nut. Just accept the flak and move on. Us parents have to give you flak about something-its in the job description.

**beef**

Obsession is
40,000pnt of SW
10,000pnts of 13th company
10,000 of BA
6000 of ultramarines
4000 Deathgaurd
2000 WE
2 warhound titans, 2 reaver TItans and a baneblade.

**stonefox**

Haha, I was in your spot too. Just keep earning high marks and your parents won't bother much. Make sure to save too - that's what they really want to see. The odd thing is that when my parents told me about spending too much time and money on this hobby, I would also (not at the same time) tell them I should go out to clubs with friends more often but they looked down upon that too.

So I guess it's more about the financial angle and not the social one. Then again, $25 covers cost more than a day of paintball.

I know that I?m not socially decrepit, but I still can?t figure out what drives their intense dislike of the game.

It's the same thing that keeps me out of the game at times too. You know that really awkward guy who is just....well, gawky and awkward? Maybe smells a little? Yeah, that kind of guy. I assume everyone who's gone into a 40k/comics store (especially the GW stores which are in malls where you've gotta be wondering what you're doing at GW instead of browsing the mall in the first place) has asked themselves at one point or another why they continue to go into that store.

**H.B.M.C.**

Our group kind've got into the 'we must own multiples of everything for every situation' frame of mind, which is why I can field 20,000 points of Guard, 20,000 points of Chaos (and have... boy was that a long game), and about 12,000 each of Ultramarines and Tyranids. A friend of mine can put done 20,000 of Eldar, and another between 20-30,000 points of Dark Angels. Between all of us we can put down almost an entire Marine Chapter, and that's just infantry and with twice as many Terminators as normally in a Chapter. And we're not done either - we're planning a massive game (50,000 or so points a side) for later this year which will require more things be purchased. You could call us a little obsessive.

And yes, people do get annoyed at us for buying more stuff. And yes it is annoying having to come home and quickly find ways for a new purchase to blend in with the other 'unbuilt' stuff so it doesn't look new.

BYE

**LtCraggs**

COK:

Well, it's what good parents do... find something that they can fuss over. Crikey, I've been done and graduated from college since 1998 (almost 10 years ago now... wow I feel really old all of a sudden) and my parents still harp "When are you going to get your Masters."

And, as for obessions, I have enough Anime on DVDs, LDs, and VHS, that I could fill a Blockbuster store with it... and that's not even including all the art books, posters, models, music CDs, photo books, perfect guides, plush toys, costumes, etc.

Anyway, point being, as was mentioned before, once I showed my parents that I'm not spending it on drugs, booze, and loose women, they begrudgingly let me have my hobbies.

Though, I will say, if you really want an expensive hobby try golf. For the cost of those little golf balls, you'd expect them to be made out of solid platinum.

**Drake_Marcus**

Well I've got Obessive Compulsive Disorder, so when I was growing up Mom and Dad didn't really mind that I was obsessed with GW games.

**TroyBrun**

Obsessed? No.

Me? Possibly . .

40K: IG, Marines, Iron Warriors, Death Guard, Tau, Witchunters, Orks
WFB: Empire, Orcs & Goblins, Grimgor's Horde, Dwarfs, Skaven, Beastmen
Mordheim: 6 different Warbands
Warmaster: Empire, Dwarfs, Orcs & Goblins, Nurgle Demonic Horde
BFG: Imperial, Chaos, Orks

All armies tournament legal (miss the days of the Specialist Games events before the GT's). And I used to work for them, which perpetuated the multiple armies. Look for sales throught the year on eBay!

**coelomate**

haha, you sound like a dream kid. Don't worry about it too much, you're definitely not obsessed.

As an important point some have mentioned: do stay away from girls. I get routine lectures from my girlfriend about the 'evils' of warhammer (generally when it's 2 am and I want to go downstairs (dorm living) to play 40K with my buddies instead of going to bed).

**Corpsman_of_Krieg**

I'll keep that under advisement, coelomate. My current girlfriend doesn't know I play it, and unless she asks, I don't plan on going out of my way to show her.

Don't worry, I'm no dream kid. If there's one fault I have to point out, its the fact that I was born with a silver spear for a tongue - long story.

CK

**malfred**

Posted By Corpsman_of_Krieg on 01/07/2007 8:19 AM
Don't worry, I'm no dream kid. If there's one fault I have to point out, its the fact that I was born with a silver spear for a tongue - long story.

CK

Sounds like one worth hearing.

*sits down with bag of popcorn*

**happypants**

Posted By Corpsman_of_Krieg on 01/05/2007 11:14 AM
Whew. Lots of quick responses. Let's see if I can answer most of them.

@Hauler: I guess the primary reason my parents are irritated with my involvement in 40K is that a) my mother is a bit of a bible thumper (not to bash Christianity in any way – I consider myself a devout Christian as well. She simply brings it up somehow whenever I talk to her about 40K), who judged the entire game upon my purchasing the 4th Edition Rulebook, and b) both consider it to be an expensive endeavor.

@Gundammecha: I pay for all of my stuff with my own money that I make working a summer job at a restaurant. I am 18, am a High Honors (3.7+ GPA) student, and participate in the local art group, intramural sports league, cycling team, and shotgun team. I know that I’m not socially decrepit, but I still can’t figure out what drives their intense dislike of the game.

@jfrazell: 1) No- read above. 2) No. I go to a boarding school, and get about 3 months out of the year to be at home, of which relatively little time is spent on my models. 3) All the money spent on my stuff was mine, with the exception of the two christmas presents I’ve received over the years.

@malfred: What’s funny is that they enjoy the fact that I paintball, and have offered to buy my brother and me the paint we use. I usually refuse on the grounds that paintball is no different from WH40K, and that I prefer to pay for all of my hobbies.

@fellblade: True, but I have to start somewhere. I figured a place where people have an idea of what I’m talking about is a good place to start.

@Pariah Press: That’s just it. They think any money that I spend is too much money. Lately, they haven’t bothered me as much about it, because I finally railed on them for getting pissed that I was spending my own money that I had made at a decent job. Plan or no plan, I’ve done just about everything in my power to show them that I’m not a little troll who’s hiding in a cave with my models, yet they remain staunchly opposed. I guess in some ways I’m being defiant, but then again, I don’t think that I’m off-base or crazy by spending about 150 bucks a year on something that I really enjoy, despite the negative attention I get from my parents as a result.

Thanks to all for the quick responses. I don’t know how I’m going to resolve this, as its been an ongoing problem since day one of the past 8 years, but your advice has helped nonetheless.

CK

Man, you are a parents wet dream, every time your mom starts to rail on you for 40k just tell her you love her and think she is the best and give her a hug. Then go on to tell her how great it is to be home and to get to see her and your dad.

No matter how angry she is she will drop the whole thing and you have bought yourself at least a week before she rails on you again... for 40k that is.

This is also excellent practice for when you get married.

As a note, I wouldn't bother trying too hard to sell her on 40k being the best thing since sliced bread, although... you may want to try sitting down for a game of Eucre or something with her (checkers/clue/chess/uno anything) and explaining at that time that 40k is just another game like any of those and that you really enjoy being able to paint when you are away at school.

Good Luck
d

**malfred**

Just tell them that games like warhammer are like playing tea-time with
dollies except with sweaty mens and toy soldiers and they should understand...