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The Mission

Multiplayer; 2 on 2 teams. You can not use your team mates wargear as your own. Locator beacons, icons, etc. (We played at 1500 pts, but this was optional)

Deployment; Cut the 6x4 board in half corner to corner. You cannot deploy within 12" of the center line. Dice off to pick which table half your team chooses and follow brb book for deployment from here.

Upkeep; At the beginning of the turn one of your team members can take a shot and your team functions as normally, However if your team doesn't take a shot no model on your team may move or assault this turn.

Modified Terrain; If you drink a beer, you may place the empty beer bottle on the table at the beginning of your teams turn. (Effects are cumulative.) The empty beer bottle counts as impassible terrain that blocks line of sight and cannot be destroyed.

Objective; Kill points plain and simple... with one simple modification... every shot your team takes you gain 1 kill point.

For Terrain we set up a typical 40k board and thought it lacked something... So we placed a pumpkin in the center of the table that we "borrowed" from a church parking lot earlier in the evening.

At this point we decide to all roll a dice to pair up our teams. I (littleboyblues) end up with kevin and Fletch and Mike end up on the same team.

That's about it... and the fun begins




Team "2" of raw fury"
Matt, Kevin
(patior angelica) (deathwing)
master of the forge, combi melta
5x termies th/ss
land raider
5x assault marines in dp
2x ironclads in dp's
2x full tac's in rhinos
Beliel
20ish termies different flavors
vindicator
whirlwind
dreadnaught on foot

Team "This is a horrible idea"
Mike, Fletch
(All khorne chaos) (Alpha Legion)
2x dp's wings
2x land raiders
5x termies khorne, champs, claws
3x termies
khorne troops
lots o chaos marines w icons
3x oblits
defieler
lesser deamons
(if mike of fletch gets on they'll correct their list better than my memory)

2 inches gets to deploy first and those stupid sob's over on horrible idea steal the initiative.

horrible idea turn 1
Fletch takes the first shot, they in general play like marines that listen to heavy metal and move everything forward and leave their oblits in the building in the back. One alpha legion rhino immobilizes itself. Kill nothing lots of smoke poped. My teammate takes a shot for a kill point.... yes this early?!

2"oRF turn 1
Kevin takes shot for movement. We both drank a beer on their turn and at the beginning of our turn try and block up the alpha legion land raider full of ?zerkers? We couldn't completely block him in however next turn he will be forced into difficult. Horrible idea drinks 3 beers in our turn seeing our tactics and will try and return the favor on their turn. Drop pods and Deathwing come raining down from the sky in a blazing glory and wiff everything everywhere! yay meltas!... Kevin drinks another shot for an extra kill point.

horrible idea turn 2
Mike takes his shot. They have acquired 3 beer bottles and plan to trap my landraider full of death incarnate. Them not drinking 4 however will slow this plan down. A Dp shows up and maybe some lessers show up. They kill 2x of my drop pods and an ironclad and kill some other random stuff. Me and Kevin both take a shot to keep it a draw as we were already up a couple.

2" oRF turn 2
I take my shot. Kevin takes a shot... I don't know why... We may have had a beer or two to drop I don't remember if we did nothing spectacular became of it. My assault troops in a dp come in as well as the rest of the deathwing. I kill a defieler with my ironclad. I deploy my termies and MotF out of my LR out of the only door they can and they start heading for the middle of the table. I move my lascannon and pivot and move my lascannon and pivot ect. ect. and finagle my way out of the beer mountain trap and pull into reverse and start driving over a building. I think the board position isn't looking too bad... Then I glance over to see what my teammate is up to. (Ya know! The guy playing the under powered army and has had like 5 shots and 3 beers) He charges beliel and one clawed termie into 3 unscathed oblits. charges a DP of khorne with another deathwing squad and charges a Landraider that had moved 12" with 5 of the most evil anti infantry termies in the game in it... I take a shot. oblits take a wound and claw deathwinger dies and beliel passes 2 insta kill invo's! HAZZA! The termies with one chain fist fail to kill the 12" moving LR and the other deathwing squad has one guy left after the khorne prince eats the rest of the unit in the face.

horrible idea and 2"oRF turn 3 (it all blends together from here on)
Fletch takes a shot. don't remember any beers falling. Beliel dies to a fist. all deathwing die but maybe one unit. Vindicator blows some zerkers to bits MotF and th/ss termies mop up the rest. And at some point in turn 3 I thought it to be a good idea to take my finest painted model in my army and place it in a fish tank because i thought i remembered something about landraiders in water in some fluff or a book or something...







Anywho at this point kevin is not playing the game anymore and laying on the couch with one of his socks on his hand like a sock puppet. At the begining of turn 4 I look around and have to consed as my teammate is both gone literally and figuratively. I shake my opponents hand and we goof off for a bit and then all crash.


(I can't get slid show to work here's a link to pics)
http://picasaweb.google.com/liitleboyuelnao/DrunkHammer?feat=directlink

The final standings were.

team "2 inches of Raw Fury"
shots = 11
beers = 6
kill points total = 14

team "This is a Horrible Idea"
shots = 8
beers = 6
kill points total = 19

A special thanks to Jeff and his wife Ally for staying sober and recording all the stats and what not.
Also Jeff jotted down some funny quotes unbeknown to us. (half of them cannot be posted though)


"14 wounds? I've taken a lot more wounds than that from a man!"

"If winning means having no nose hairs then we're kicking a$s!"

"Where does all this blood on my hands come from?!"

"Why are you cuddling my wii?"

"So we win by 2?"
"Matt, He still gets to fist you."

"I immobilized you and then penetrated you."

"I pinky promise."
"I don't trust you."
"Comon it's the second most useless appendage your body has."
"Whats the first."
"Your $#*%"

"I need more water..."
"There's water in that shot glass."
"Really?" *drinks*

"Sweet... Refined... it's Georgia Okeff."

"I'm gonna vomit if i don't pass out."
"give him the bucket please."

"Push up bra's aren't dainty, they're great inventions!"

"So when he passes out how many %)#*'s are we putting on his face?"
(haha the answer was one and yes there are pictures)

and my personal favorite!
"Kevin, Your mom has Aids!"
*slaps Kevin in face*

This was the worst battle report of all time!
And remember kids some times we shouldn't take our game so seriously.
Just have fun.

Littleboyblues

Wow. That was just fantastic. And you're absolutely right, land raiders are in fact aquatic. I'm not so sure I'd be so far gone as to make a real world example of this, but sometimes assault terminators need to take on sea monster goldfish to really get a good fight in!

aw man, I remember seeing you write the tutorial on that land raider... that thing is a work of art. Shame to see it go for a swim. I hope the paint job held up fine!

hahahahahahaha dude that was epic! I loled pretty hard reading those quotes this might be an idea i'll have to try

Best batrep ever.

I could have done without the LR in the water (especially the pics). That hurt a bit to see. : )

Eric

Wow, that's an awesome thing to share with people I can't believe you dunked the beautiful freehand LR to prove it was aqua-awesome

HAHAAHAHAHAH YEA!!!! This is the best battle report I have ever read. I don't drink but this sounded like great fun hhaahahha!! And sorry to hear about your tank that 0you put in the water, that had me laughing but that thing is a masterpiece!! I hope it held up!

the quotations alone made this worth reading That was the most awesome battle report I've yet seen!

littleboyblues, we need to hang out more.

Epic. Best Battle Report EVAR!!11!!!1!

Right on lads!!

Beer bottle bombardment ftw!

- Salvage!

LEGENDARY! Im gonna try this with my buddies sometime. I did cringe a little when I saw the Landraider but hey I guess alls fair in war. haha quotes rocked

Im gonna link this on my group's site... this was hilarious. Hopefully the land raider survived its aquatic expedition.

Amazing

Very nice, especially the tactical element of the drop-bottles. I would not try this with my Eldar, becuase they're sort of fragile, but my Marines or Orks should be able to withstand a few drunken fumbles.

This battlereport is great!
More quotes!


"I immobilized you and then penetrated you."

Doombot001 wrote:



"I immobilized you and then penetrated you."

AAARRGH

anyway... im confused about dropping a land raider into a fish tank?

That's why I prefer to play sobre...

Last time we played drunk, the Sharpie markers came out, and my buddy, who plays a DA army, passed out and got the front of a DA helmet drawn and fully coloured on his face.

Good times, good times...

Dood, You just gave me an awesome idea. I might have to turn a few models that I don't use much into aquarium scenery. Like some alien jungle with the plants and colored gravel. HAH!