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2014/04/02 01:09:50
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
Unyielding Hunger wrote: So a Sororitas walks into a pet store and looks at the selection while the owner brings in some new stock.
She stops at the first cage and stares at the Catachan Devil saying, "Too dangerous" before walking on to the next cage.
She stops at the second cage and frowns at the Squig saying, "Too chaotic" before walking by to the last cage.
She smiles as she watches a Pyrovore burn the store owner alive screaming, "Perfect!"
It just goes to show you, put a Pyrovore on a leash and in the hands of the Adepta Sororitas, and you have a match made in heaven.
This just makes me want to get SoB just to run them alongside my Nids in Apocalypse with the Fuel Line fortification thingie from Stronghold Assault.
Remember, build a man a fire, and you keep him warm for the night. Set a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
I bought molds so that I can build those Promethium Relays. I just need an apocalypse board's worth of Pyrovores.
A Pyrovore and a Sororitas wind up competing against each other in a test of skill.
The sister steps forward and releases an impressive gout of flame before smirking and looking back at the Pyrovore.
The Pyrovore inhales but snorts for a second before sneezing out and even large burst of flame into the air. The first round is given to the Pyrovore.
The second round begins, and the Pyrovore begins by quickly devouring a full suit of power armor.
The sister laughs and pulls out a melta bomb, using it to destroy a tank. The second round is given to the Sister.
In the third and final round, The Pyrovore injures itself to demonstrate its acidic blood, melting some debris.
The sister pulls out her second melta bomb and throws it on the Pyrovore and dives behind a rock as it explodes, killing most of the audience and several judges. Victory for the Sister.
*Victory for the Meltabomb.
A Guardsman could have won that contest just as easily the way you describe it.
I should think of a new signature... In the meantime, have a
2014/04/02 19:35:20
Subject: Re:Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
A Guardsman could have won that contest just as easily the way you describe it.
I will admit it is one of the more lame jokes I have. Here is one of my more controversial jokes for a change in pace.
The Swarmlord walks into a bar, seeing Lukas the Trickster and St. Celestine arguing out front. The Swarmlord orders a drink and eyes several of the Sororitas around the area, realizing that an Order must recently have gotten in on leave, and he might just get lucky tonight. Outside, he sees Lukas push Celestine into a puddle on the side of the street. She gets up, soaking wet and screams incoherently at him as she storms away from the Space Wolf. Lukas chuckles as he enters the bar and quickly orders a drink next to the Swarmlord.
He notices the Sisters have captured his attention and says, "So, eager to try the new stock?"
The Swarmlord shakes his head and replies, "I wish, most women can't get past the fact I have more than 2 arms. To be honest, I am more than a little surprised that you are so quick to throw away a relationship with someone as beautiful as that lady out there."
Lukas laughs and takes another sip. "If there is one thing I have learned from dating that woman, it's that no matter how many times I knock her down, she eventually gets right back up and comes back for more."
"There is a cancer eating at the Imperium. With each decade it advances deeper, leaving drained, dead worlds in its wake. This horror, this abomination, has thought and purpose that functions on an unimaginable, galactic scale and all we can do is try to stop the swarms of bioengineered monsters it unleashes upon us by instinct. We have given the horror a name to salve our fears; we call it the Tyranid race, but if is aware of us at all it must know us only as Prey."
Hive Fleet Grootslang 15000+
Servants of the Void 2000+
2014/04/03 13:10:37
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
ClockworkZion wrote: Ah yes, the "Sisters of Cleaning". A covenant of apparently nymphomaniac Sisters who are charged with cleaning things and not being naughty at all.
No, I don't get the appeal either.
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only sexual frustration....
DC:90+S+G++MB++I--Pww211+D++A++/fWD390R++T(F)DM+
2014/04/16 13:55:58
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
ClockworkZion wrote: Ah yes, the "Sisters of Cleaning". A covenant of apparently nymphomaniac Sisters who are charged with cleaning things and not being naughty at all.
No, I don't get the appeal either.
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only sexual frustration....
Well if you're the kind of person who is "frustrated" all the time in real life I guess I'd see the appeal. Otherwise it's an group of sexed up Sororitas (again) being put into stereotypical women's roles (again) and basically the only thing new is that they flipped roles on which side gets to be perverts and which are the pure hearted maidens (or Guard in most cases). Not enough there to make me even chuckle honestly.
2014/04/16 13:59:59
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
I find some of the Sisters of Cleaning stuff fairly funny. But yeah, it is a cliched approach to humor. That's why this thread is mostly jokes that aren't about gender or sexuality at all, but rather about the things that make the Sisters unique(ly crazy).
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
SisterSydney wrote: I find some of the Sisters of Cleaning stuff fairly funny. But yeah, it is a cliched approach to humor. That's why this thread is mostly jokes that aren't about gender or sexuality at all, but rather about the things that make the Sisters unique(ly crazy).
Yeah, cliche humor doesn't really tickle my funny bone.
2014/04/16 14:13:40
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
SisterSydney wrote: I find some of the Sisters of Cleaning stuff fairly funny. But yeah, it is a cliched approach to humor. That's why this thread is mostly jokes that aren't about gender or sexuality at all, but rather about the things that make the Sisters unique(ly crazy).
Aye, I agree. I much prefer humour that pokes fun at the SoB mindset rather than their gender. Not to say that humour on gender can never be funny, it's just not so much to my taste.
sing your life wrote: I found the SOC to be really well written, even if they are chiched.
I did laugh at some of them, I'll admit. If only for how "out there" the premise was.
Though my favourites were the ones with the guardsman raising a chicken.
Order of the Righteous Armour - 542 points so far.
2014/04/23 02:28:36
Subject: Re:Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
SisterSydney wrote: What really matters is the interaction among the real, live people playing the game. If you decide your character turns on the rest of the party at a critical moment, for whatever reason, saying "this is in character for her" doesn't make it less of a jerk move by you towards the other players -- unless everyone expects and enjoys a game with backstabbing and lethal conflict between player characters, in which case they'll be high-giving you.
On the other hand, if you and the Ork player as real people get a good back and forth going, it could be comedy gold: the Ork doing all sorts of heretical, socially inappropriate, or just plain disgusting things; the Sister quietly seething with her finger trembling on the trigger, or praying for patience, or trying to tell him off, or even trying to (ha!) enlighten him; and the Ork of course blissfully misunderstanding and responding in even more hilariously inappropriate ways ("Hey, Sistah, you looks like you wants to krump sumtpin. Let's krump dat priesty git!"). It's especially fun because the Ork, while asexual, fits all the stereotypes of the sloppy male yob while the Sister can act like a stereotypically uptight and frustrated wife in a sitcom....
Alternatively, think of the Ork as a big green Homer Simpson and the Sister as a female Ned Flanders with a flamethrower.
Smacks wrote: It does kind of sound like the beginning of an odd-couple buddy cop-movie. You should make sure that if the ork is listening to the radio while driving the landspeeder, you immediately switch the station to something that he doesn't like... *hilarity ensues*
This. Can we make this the next 40K fan movie please?
I can totally see the trailer already. Warning: Hollywoodization ahead.
EXTERIOR SHOT - A DYSTOPIAN CITY - NIGHT
The camera pans past GOTHIC SPIRES as a POLICE SIREN wails.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY: In a galaxy choking on corruption....
INTERIOR SHOT - ARMORY - NIGHT
CLOSE UP from BEHIND on a SEXY FEMALE putting on HIGH-TECH ARMOR.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY: ....she's the purest there is.
The female TURNS -- we still don't see her face, she's only in frame from the NECK DOWN.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY: But Sister Maria Kickassia....
Her GAUNTLETED HANDS pull out a HUGE GUN and perform a COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY COCKING ACTION to make a COOL NOISE.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY: ...is about to get a big, green surprise.
INTERIOR – INQUISITOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT
INQUISITOR (played by Mark Hamill): I’d like you to meet your new partner, Thogsnot.
WHIP PAN to show THOGSNOT, a HUGE GREEN ORK (played by Duane “the Rock” Johnson in green prosthetics), with his FINGER up his NOSE.
Sound effect: RECORD SCRATCH.
SISTER OF BATTLE (played by Amy Adams): What.
THOGSNOT pulls something out of his NOSE. It is MOVING.
THOGSNOT: Oi !
He eats it.
SISTER KICKASSIA: Oh hell no.
The soundtrack switches to “Who Let the Dogs Out,” because clichés.
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK GOTHIC INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT – DAY
Sister Kickassia is poring over huge TOMES with a grimdark gothic PRIEST (Ray Romano).
SISTER KICKASSIA: There’s got to be some mistake!
PRIEST: Well, there’s no rule saying an Ork CAN’T be on the team....
They both LOOK UP as Thogsnot SLAM DUNKS a basketball. RECORD SCRATCH.
INTERIOR – PATROL CAR – DAY
LOUD MUSIC is playing on the RADIO. Sister Kickassia reaches over and turns it to a station playing HYMNS.
THOGSNOT: Oi !
SISTER KICKASSIA: Look, I don’t like you, you don’t like me....
THOGSNOT: I likes you.
RECORD SCRATCH.
EXTERIOR – GRIMDARK GOTHIC SEEDY NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
Thogsnot and Sister Kickassia are watching some UNSAVORY TYPES doing business in a GRIMDARK ALLEY.
THOGSNOT: So we’s gonna krump da gitz?
SISTER KICKASSIA: Listen, Ork, we’re not “krumping” anybody.
THOGSNOT: Awww!
SISTER KICKASSIA: This is MY op and we’re doing it by the book.
THOGSNOT: Wut, we’s gonna killz ’em wit BOOKZ?
SISTER KICKASSIA: No, we’re burning them to death.
THOGSNOT: M’kay.
RAPID FIRE MONTAGE OF TYPICAL ACTION MOVIE STUFF
THAT VOICEOVER GUY: She’s a hard-as-nails xenocidal religious fanatic.
SHOOTING and stuff happens.
THAT VOICEOVER GUY: He’s a sentient fungus with an attitude.
More SHOOTING. Possibly EXPLOSIONS.
THAT VOICEOVER GUY: Together – they fight crime.
Definitely some EXPLOSIONS. Thogsnot and Sister Kickassia do a POWER WALK away from a HUGE FIREBALL.
SISTER KICKASSIA: You know, Ork, you aren’t half-bad at this.
THOGSNOT: You krumps da gitz okay too, Sistah.
SISTER KICKASSIA: I. Do. Not. KRUMP.
RECORD SCRATCH.
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK GOTHIC NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT
Thogsnot claps as Sister Kickassia is KRUMPING.
CLUBGOERS: Go Sistah, go Sistah, go!
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK BAD GUY HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
BAD GUY (Gary Oldman): I am the bad guy of the movie!
RECORD SCRATCH.
BAD GUY: Okay, see, now you’re overusing it.
RECORD SCRATCH.
BAD GUY: I have a BAFTA award, you prick!
RECORD SCRATCH.
GARY OLDMAN storms off the set, pursued by a chorus of RECORD SCRATCHES.
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Thogsnot and Sister Kickassia are taking cover behind a STACK OF CRATES as BAD GUY MINIONS shoot at them with GUNS BEYOND NUMBER.
THOGSNOT: Oi, what’s we’s gonna do, Sistah?
SISTER KICKASSIA: We’re gonna krump da gitz.
RECORD SCRATCH.
They BURST FROM COVER and there is SO MUCH SHOOTING AND EXPLOSIONS AND STUFF you cannot believe it, seriously.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY: This summer.... get ready to KRUMP.
The screen goes BLACK. Then the title comes up: SISTAH KRUMP.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY: This film is not yet rated.
[Edited to de-Americanize the Ork's dialogue by adding lots of "oi" and "gitz," because Americans loved Crocodile Dundee, and Australians are, like, almost the same thing, right?]
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/04/23 11:14:37
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
The camera pans past GOTHIC SPIRES as a POLICE SIREN wails.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY:
In a galaxy choking on corruption....
INTERIOR SHOT - ARMORY - NIGHT
CLOSE UP from BEHIND on a SEXY FEMALE putting on HIGH-TECH ARMOR.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY:
....she's the purest there is.
The female TURNS -- we still don't see her face, she's only in frame from the NECK DOWN.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY:
But Sister Maria Kickassia....
Her GAUNTLETED HANDS pull out a HUGE GUN and perform a COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY COCKING ACTION to make a COOL NOISE.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY:
...is about to get a big, green surprise.
INTERIOR – INQUISITOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT
INQUISITOR (played by Mark Hamill):
I’d like you to meet your new partner, Thogsnot.
WHIP PAN to show THOGSNOT, a HUGE GREEN ORK (played by Duane “the Rock” Johnson in green prosthetics), with his FINGER up his NOSE.
Sound effect: RECORD SCRATCH.
SISTER OF BATTLE (played by Amy Adams):
What.
THOGSNOT pulls something out of his NOSE. It is MOVING. He eats it.
SISTER KICKASSIA:
Oh hell no.
The soundtrack switches to “Who Let the Dogs Out,” because clichés.
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK GOTHIC INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT – DAY
Sister Kickassia is poring over huge TOMES with a grimdark gothic PRIEST (Ray Romano).
SISTER KICKASSIA:
There’s got to be some mistake!
PRIEST:
Well, there’s no rule saying an Ork CAN’T be on the team....
They both LOOK UP as Thogsnot SLAM DUNKS a basketball. RECORD SCRATCH.
INTERIOR – PATROL CAR – DAY
LOUD MUSIC is playing on the RADIO. Sister Kickassia reaches over and turns it to a station playing HYMNS.
THOGSNOT:
Hey!
SISTER KICKASSIA:
Look, I don’t like you, you don’t like me....
THOGSNOT:
I likes you.
RECORD SCRATCH.
EXTERIOR – GRIMDARK GOTHIC SEEDY NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
Thogsnot and Sister Kickassia are watching some UNSAVORY TYPES doing business in a GRIMDARK ALLEY.
THOGSNOT:
So we’s gonna krump dem?
SISTER KICKASSIA:
Listen, Ork, we’re not “krumping” anybody.
THOGSNOT:
Awww!
SISTER KICKASSIA:
This is MY op and we’re doing it by the book.
THOGSNOT:
What, we’s gonna killz ’em wit BOOKZ?
SISTER KICKASSIA:
No, we’re burning them to death.
THOGSNOT:
M’kay.
RAPID FIRE MONTAGE OF TYPICAL ACTION MOVIE STUFF
THAT VOICEOVER GUY:
She’s a hard-as-nails xenocidal religious fanatic.
SHOOTING and stuff happens.
THAT VOICEOVER GUY:
He’s a sentient fungus with an attitude.
More SHOOTING. Possibly EXPLOSIONS.
THAT VOICEOVER GUY:
Together – they fight crime.
Definitely some EXPLOSIONS. Thogsnot and Sister Kickassia do a POWER WALK away from a HUGE FIREBALL.
SISTER KICKASSIA:
You know, Ork, you aren’t half-bad at this.
THOGSNOT:
You krumps okay too, Sistah.
SISTER KICKASSIA:
I. Do. Not. KRUMP.
RECORD SCRATCH.
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK GOTHIC NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT
Thogsnot claps as Sister Kickassia is KRUMPING.
CLUBGOERS:
Go Sistah, go Sistah, go!
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK BAD GUY HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
BAD GUY (Gary Oldman):
I am the bad guy of the movie!
RECORD SCRATCH.
BAD GUY:
Okay, see, now you’re overusing it.
RECORD SCRATCH.
BAD GUY:
I have a BAFTA award, you prick!
RECORD SCRATCH.
GARY OLDMAN storms off the set, pursued by a chorus of RECORD SCRATCHES.
INTERIOR – GRIMDARK WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Thogsnot and Sister Kickassia are taking cover behind a STACK OF CRATES as BAD GUY MINIONS shoot at them with GUNS BEYOND NUMBER.
THOGSNOT:
What’s we’s gonna do, Sistah?
SISTER KICKASSIA:
We’re gonna krump ’em.
RECORD SCRATCH.
They BURST FROM COVER and there is SO MUCH SHOOTING AND EXPLOSIONS AND STUFF you cannot believe it, seriously.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY:
This summer.... get ready to KRUMP.
The screen goes BLACK. Then the title comes up: SISTAH KRUMP.
THAT VOICE-OVER GUY:
This film is not yet rated.
Yes, yes, oh my god Yes!
Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
Orks always ride in single file to hide their strength and numbers.
Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, Gozer the Traveler, and Lord of the Sebouillia
2014/04/23 02:40:05
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
Thank you. I think I got the miscasting almost perfect....
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
Cross-posted from a thread about homebrewed Sororitas Valkyries, about how it's possible to fit 12 power-armored Sisters in the same space as 12 flak-jacketed guardsmen:
ELYSIAN DROP TROOPER (looking into Sororitas Valkyrie): Gee, they pack you girls in tight, don't they? SISTER KORIANDER: It's our shapely hips! SISTER RAVEN: And inch-think armour. ELYSIAN: Don't you need more room? SISTER KORIANDER: Nope! SISTER RAVEN: We don't smell as bad as you guys do, you see. [beat] ELYSIAN: Damn, girl. [Elysian walks away and, as soon as he's out of sight, starts sniffing his underarms] ELYSIAN: Damn, she's right.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/05/06 14:43:11
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
All I can think of is a Death Skulls ork named Fozzgob in a dilapidated homburg and loud bowtie standing before a crowd shouting "WAAAGH-A WAAAGH-A WAAAGH-A!" Behind him of course is a grot on a drum set.
"OI! JUST FLEW BACK FRUM ARMA... ARMAGETTEM OR SUMMAT AN' BOY ARE ME GROTZ' ARMS TIRED!"
*The grot tries for a rimshot and fails*
"ZOGGIN' 'ECK! TRY THAT AGAIN!"
*The grot fails at the rimshot again*
"ROIGHT. 'OLD ON."
*Fozzgob runs into the crowd, sneaks up behind an Imperial Fist and krumps him good, then grabs something from the fallen Marine's gear. He runs up to the grot, smacks him on the head with the Marine's gear*
"TRY IT AGAIN!"
*rimshot*
"S'BAD WHEN YOU GOTTA LOOT RIMSHOT DRILL DURING YER ACT, INNIT? AND WOTZA DEAL WIV FOOD ONNA BOMMER? AM I RIGHT? YOU GET DRIED OUT SQUIG OR DRIED OUT FUNGUS."
*A random Weirdboy shouts out "Izza same fing!" from the crowd*
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH"
*The Weirdboy shouts "MY BRAIN 'URTZ!" shortly before his head explodes*
"STOOPID 'ECKLERZ! ROIGHT, WHERE WOZ I? OH ROIGHT. WAZZA DIFFERENZ BETWEEN A BURNA BOY AN' A SISTER OF BATTLE? ABOUT 30 OCTANE!"
*rimshot*
"FANK YOO AN' ZOG OFF!"
veho sicut tu furabar
2014/05/06 21:27:07
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
PaperworkNinja wrote: All I can think of is a Death Skulls ork named Fozzgob in a dilapidated homburg and loud bowtie standing before a crowd shouting "WAAAGH-A WAAAGH-A WAAAGH-A!" Behind him of course is a grot on a drum set.
"OI! JUST FLEW BACK FRUM ARMA... ARMAGETTEM OR SUMMAT AN' BOY ARE ME GROTZ' ARMS TIRED!"
*The grot tries for a rimshot and fails*
"ZOGGIN' 'ECK! TRY THAT AGAIN!"
*The grot fails at the rimshot again*
"ROIGHT. 'OLD ON."
*Fozzgob runs into the crowd, sneaks up behind an Imperial Fist and krumps him good, then grabs something from the fallen Marine's gear. He runs up to the grot, smacks him on the head with the Marine's gear*
"TRY IT AGAIN!"
*rimshot*
"S'BAD WHEN YOU GOTTA LOOT RIMSHOT DRILL DURING YER ACT, INNIT? AND WOTZA DEAL WIV FOOD ONNA BOMMER? AM I RIGHT? YOU GET DRIED OUT SQUIG OR DRIED OUT FUNGUS."
*A random Weirdboy shouts out "Izza same fing!" from the crowd*
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH"
*The Weirdboy shouts "MY BRAIN 'URTZ!" shortly before his head explodes*
"STOOPID 'ECKLERZ! ROIGHT, WHERE WOZ I? OH ROIGHT. WAZZA DIFFERENZ BETWEEN A BURNA BOY AN' A SISTER OF BATTLE? ABOUT 30 OCTANE!"
*rimshot*
"FANK YOO AN' ZOG OFF!"
SISTER KORIANDER: That was a medium skit.
SISTER RAVEN: A medium skit?
SISTER KORIANDER: Yeah. It wasn't rare and it certainly wasn't well done.
BOTH: Doh-ho-ho-ho.
Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
Orks always ride in single file to hide their strength and numbers.
Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, Gozer the Traveler, and Lord of the Sebouillia
2014/05/06 22:08:10
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
Trick question; the light from the Sisters of Battle's burning monastery is more than enough.
Pft. He killed Sisters one time. And then he did a really nice job the WD codex.
Change "Ward" to "GW Writers" and you'd be dead on though.
Sanctuary 101. Never forget.
Actually, Sanctuary 101 just came about from a (reportedly lopsided) battle report back when the Necrons were introduced. It was Sisters vs Necrons, Necrons won, and it ended up getting intergrated into the fluff as the Imperium's first contact with the Necrons. And even then, after Hammer and Anvil... Well, the Sisters very much get their own back.
Order of the Righteous Armour - 542 points so far.
2014/05/06 22:13:48
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
The Sisters had half the Necrons' points available, and the Necron rules at the time wee... in their favour.
"That time I only loaded the cannon with powder. Next time, I will fill it with jewels and diamonds and they will cut you to shrebbons!" - Nogbad the Bad.
2014/05/06 22:41:45
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
Orks always ride in single file to hide their strength and numbers.
Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, Gozer the Traveler, and Lord of the Sebouillia
2014/05/07 02:27:34
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
I was fond of the dealing with the heckler part myself. It also makes me wonder why no one has ever done up their weirdboyz like the Gumbys from Monty Python.
veho sicut tu furabar
2014/05/08 03:09:46
Subject: Adepta Sororitas Sense of Humor: 1,001 Sisters jokes
SISTER RAVEN: Koriander, can you summon an tech adept, all the lights are burned out in the SIlent Sister's Chapel.
SISTER KORIANDER: I didnt know that, they haven't complained.
Q - How many underhive gangers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - Change?! Those bulbs are archeotech and worth a bit o' y change. Boys, lets take them all!
Hive Fleet Grootslang 
Order of the Righteous Armour - 542 points so far. 
~4100
~1660
