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What exactly are you asking?

Looks cool but it's too cheap.
lrc 250
tfc 100
You still haven't paid for the lascannons or paid any extra for the added survivability of the tfc.

You don't get transport capacity or the TFC's techmarine (which is with servo harness, expensive by itself). I'd say it's fair.

Yeah, you're probably right.
I kinda missed that.

thats alot of dice.

No its true

You say "No transport capacity" like it's a bad thing. 250 points for a 14 armor tank with a hell of a load out is awesome. More awesome is the fact that I don't have to choose between delivering assault troops or firing weapons.

I'd bump it up to 375.

Looks pretty good. Would work nicely in an apocalypse game. The points seem off for the sponson weaon tradeout though. No way should you be able to swap out for Twin Linked Lascannons for free and twin linked flamers be +25 points. I would make it either +25 for all, or all for free.


The whole - "secret chapter of secrethood on secret planet Marneus Calgar secret secret" bit is a bit off putting though.

what are you asking?

No comment on the rules and point costs, but...

The whole fluff "background" is pretty ridiculous. A "Secret Chapter" that "Due to the secrecy of the chapter cannot be named"? Led by Marneus Calgar? That guy shows up everywhere nowadays. The rest is pretty bad too.

No offense intended, but it sounds like it was written by a 14 year old boy. Now, if you ARE a 14 year old boy, I guess that wouldn't be a bad thing.

I see that you are Canadian, so maybe English isn't your first language? If so, that would explain the grammar and spelling errors. If not, proofread! That makes things much easier to read.

Wow, I sound like a jerk.

honestly think the lore could go without so man "can not be named" stuff repeated

Super OP o.O

Blue Orphen wrote:No comment on the rules and point costs, but...

The whole fluff "background" is pretty ridiculous. A "Secret Chapter" that "Due to the secrecy of the chapter cannot be named"? Led by Marneus Calgar? That guy shows up everywhere nowadays. The rest is pretty bad too.

No offense intended, but it sounds like it was written by a 14 year old boy. Now, if you ARE a 14 year old boy, I guess that wouldn't be a bad thing.

I see that you are Canadian, so maybe English isn't your first language? If so, that would explain the grammar and spelling errors. If not, proofread! That makes things much easier to read.

Wow, I sound like a jerk.

hey thx for the comment btw english is my first language but im turnung thirteen in april so ya

Hey I've gone to the local gamesworkshop and taken there and your advise and I've come up with a second draft please exscuse the poor blend of colours btw if i haven't mentioned it it's my first scratch model and data sheet


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big_d wrote:Looks pretty good. Would work nicely in an apocalypse game. The points seem off for the sponson weaon tradeout though. No way should you be able to swap out for Twin Linked Lascannons for free and twin linked flamers be +25 points. I would make it either +25 for all, or all for free.


The whole - "secret chapter of secrethood on secret planet Marneus Calgar secret secret" bit is a bit off putting though.

remember the lascanonns come on reguler land raider heavy flamers don't but either way i've removed the flamer option



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kravus master of Horus wrote:what are you asking?

im asking for opinions

What is it supposed to be?

An assault tank or an artillery tank? The weapons load still seems really confused, a bit 'jack of all trades'.

Oh and just drop the fluff, for now. All this Classified stuff is too distracting. Come back to it when you have it all sorted and when the chapter is ready to 'come out'.

if yo read the rules theres no transport capacity so y would you think of an assault tank and its a seige the huricane bolters are for when infintry come flooding out by the wa someone saide it looks like it was written by a 14 yr old im 12


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and dislexic

fatherfear5 wrote:if yo read the rules theres no transport capacity so y would you think of an assault tank and its a seige the huricane bolters are for when infintry come flooding out by the wa someone saide it looks like it was written by a 14 yr old im 12


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and dislexic

Whether you are dyslexic or not isn't an issue, neither is your age.

I did read the rules and indeed saw their was no transport capacity.

My point is that in its current incarnation you have Hurricane Bolters and assault cannons, which to me are used to support assaults and then you have whirlwind launchers and the Thunderfire which are really artillery pieces and therefore used in a stand off manner behind your troops etc. I would also think that one of the heavier pieces is redundant. I would try:

Keep the Hurricane Bolters or use TL Heavy Bolters as standard.
Drop the Assault cannon entirely.
Have the Whirlwind as an option.

How about a hull mounted TL HB, 2x sponson mounted TL HB's, and the TFC, EA as standard, then the Whirlwind as an option, but no other sponson options, then 350pts, remembering that the Ares was 300pts.

thank you for the advise phantommaster i am not going to use hb's and make whirlwind an option

Seeing as how Marneus Calgar is the Master of the Ultramarines, I'm pretty sure that "secret SM chapter" ain't so secret.

its his privet strike force for opperations the adeptus mechanicus cant no of


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btw if anyone doesn't like the fluff than please im open to completely changing pm me ur suggestions and remember these are only drafts

DRAFT 3 STILL NO CHANGE IN FLUFF

lol

It's a good start but you must refine the points cost of everything; I dont think that the lascannons should be free

Seems interesting but I wouldn't necessarly base it off the Crusader. The Hurricane bolters don't make alot of sense on a vehicle with a 60" and a 12"-48" weapon. Is it supposed to be a long range fire support base or a close in support vehicle (which I wouldn't do if there isn't a squad of termies waiting to assault out of the cargo are which is now filled with missiles).

I would refine the role you want the vehicle to fill (and make sure that role isn't already filled by another cheaper vehicle) and then build and point accordingly.

i get the lascannons from the fact that you can get them on a regular land raider for the same price as a land raider crusader but as to zeshin you have valid points and ill get back to you with draft 4

Some of the most painful fluff I have ever read...

If you are goign for along-range fire support tank why not modify a whirlwind? It will be cheaper than a LR. Keep the missile pod and point up the front mounted thunderfire cannon (mount up front lilek a demolisher). Much more fitting to a special long range pounder.