Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.
2010/04/02 09:36:30
Subject: My WH40K comic -- I need your help- correction - spoiler 34/34
I try to translate it but I need an English reader who can help me, correcting my translations!!
His (or their) name will be written on the second page of the comic .
thanks to all yea, I need someone who say to me: "very well, this part is clear but you must correct this and this.."
I could post here the words translated but I risk to "spoiler" about the story.. or not?
Henners91 wrote:Just watch that GW legal don't screw you.
I hope don't happen!! ;-) I see other wh40k free comics in the web!! One about an Eversor, another about Tau (also this is Italian but he has just starded)
My pics are absolutely free and there are no ads in the page !!
Dark wrote:I took a peak on them, the human figures look kinda stiff, but sir, you master the shadings and volumes.
I'm not a professionist !! I just draw something.. sometime !!
After I've finished Italian version I discover that DPI are too low.. but is too late to correct........
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2010/04/02 19:28:21
The only thing I see it needs is color, but that is not exactly a priority. Make sure to post it back when you get it translated, I really want to read it
I've never feared Death or Dying. I've only feared never Trying.
2010/04/03 04:35:55
Subject: My WH40K comic -- searching for some help --
let's try !!
these are the first six pages... you must be very perfectionist while correcting my translation!! very pedantic, ok? thanks!!! after I achieve at last 2 confirms I put the text in the drawings and I publish it soon !!
Spoiler:
page1 FINGERS OF THE GODS
page2 "Fingers of the Gods"
story&art
Andrea Baldessari
thanks to
Giuliano Graziu
for his advices about title and ending of story
thanks to
(name surname or nickname? tell me them!)
or
DakkaDakka Forum members(???)
for the support in English translation
To world,
to imagination.
If the first turns in a given direction,
the second does the opposite.
01.
The seven volunteers
02.
Vampyre's genesis.
03.
Point of no return.
04.
Retaliation squad.
05.
Emperor's pity.
06.
Contact.
07.
First blood.
08.
The altar.
09.
Memoirs.
10.
Target acquired.
11.
Astropathic bait.
12.
Surrounded.
13.
The adder.
14.
The angels
15.
Fingers of the gods.
16.
The missive.
This comic is completely NOT OFFICIAL and it’s not approved by Games Workshop Group PLC. Every contained reference to episodes, deeds, character’s descriptions and everything connected to “Warhammer 40000” universe belongs to Games Workshop Limited. Imperial Eagle logo, Dark Eldar and Warhammer 40000 universe are Games Workshop Limited’s registered trademarks. They are used without licence. The aim of this document is the promotion of Games Workshop Hobby and it's not for profit.
page3 The seven volunteers.
Because of our merits.
Because of our faults.
We have been chosen.
Oplytum fortress, Aster PDF Command Company.
Read the missive, Lieutant.
Lev: Magenta M39678143
Lt Ronagar Ine (serial number) 90JGH56L32 has to report to the Strategic Sector Headquarters with the greatest readiness.
It is senior officer’s duty to set the serviceman provided with this missive free from any current occupation.
It must be a mistake. I’m not a extraworld(is it ok??????) soldier!
Klogor II Blue Moon.
We have tried to realize your desire, Sergeant.
I’m beholden to you.
Isolation cell number 12, Ghiza Survivor Shelter.
Commando…
There are dozens of hell holes that are better than this place, do you think so?
Your quarantine ends.
page4
Undefined place, Fort Sejanus, Oxery Primus.
Junion Canyon, Qerlum Rie.
It’s a good show to end my career
Dosmunda village, XLVoskta Sappers’ theater of operations.
I’ll reach you soon.
Damn mine.
Prison Word of Hoox.
This is the sentence: one lash for every civilian dead.
So we’ll whip to death you and all the regiment.
Captain, do you want to save your men?
Yes, Inquisitor.
page5 Our destination: Vampyre.
Vampire, this is how they named the immense underground palace, an obscene legacy of the warp storms that grazed the planet a long time ago. The decadent human settlement built it into the deep of the earth with their delirium and misery.
Unfortunately, it survived the just vengeance of the Imperium, the terrible purge that burned the atmosphere and the soil of the planet. Life ended.
So it was for two centuries.
page6
The Vampire rose from the underground growing grotesque in the darkness, empty temple voracious of soul.
Then the Eldar Pirates came bringing their tortures.
They took the planet and veiled the palace with their witchcraft. It became their new base for their raids on the Gamedian Sector.
Millions of slaves entered its gates.
The Vampire was alive. It wickedly sucked the mind of the slaves rotting inside its halls, fed by the depraved tyrants who called it home.
The Vampire grew endlessly.
Some of my non-English speaking friends occasionally get me to go through their Uni Essays for them, so I guess I'll help out.
So should we copy and PM it to you or simply post it back here hidden by spoilers?
Also would you want the corrections in different colours just so you could see them, the colours obviously won't carry over from the PM to anywhere you put the text. Also if we don't quite get the meaning would you want multiple suggestions or should we just ask what you were trying to say?
I have noted a few things in red bellow. Mainly just simple sentence amendments so they make better sense. There are probably a few areas where things could be better said but I don't know if you intend the the way they are. For example "There are dozens of hell holes that are better than this place, do you think so?" makes sense but it's not really a conventional way of talking in english.
page1
FINGERS OF THE GODS
page2
"Fingers of the Gods"
story&art
Andrea Baldessari
thanks to
Giuliano Graziu
for his advices about title and ending of story
thanks to
(name surname or nickname? tell me them!)
or
DakkaDakka Forum members(???)
for the support in English translation
To world,
to imagination.
If the first turns in a given direction,
the second does the opposite.
01.
The seven volunteers
02.
Vampyre's genesis.
03.
Point of no return.
04.
Retaliation squad.
05.
Emperor's pity.
06.
Contact.
07.
First blood.
08.
The altar.
09.
Memoirs.
10.
Target acquired.
11.
Astropathic bait.
12.
Surrounded.
13.
The adder.
14.
The angels
15.
Fingers of the gods.
16.
The missive.
This comic is completely NOT OFFICIAL and it’s not approved by Games Workshop Group PLC. Every contained reference to episodes, deeds, character’s descriptions and everything connected to “Warhammer 40000” universe belongs to Games Workshop Limited. Imperial Eagle logo, Dark Eldar and Warhammer 40000 universe are Games Workshop Limited’s registered trademarks. They are used without licence. The aim of this document is the promotion of Games Workshop Hobby and it's not for profit.
page3
The seven volunteers.
Because of our merits.
Because of our faults.
We have been chosen.
Oplytum fortress, Aster PDF Command Company.
Read the missive, Lieutant.
Lev: Magenta M39678143
Lt Ronagar Ine (serial number) 90JGH56L32 has to report to the Strategic Sector Headquarters with the greatest readiness.
It is the senior officer’s duty to set the serviceman provided with this missive free from any current occupation.
It must be a mistake. I’m not a extraworld(is it ok??????) soldier!
Klogor II Blue Moon.
We have tried to realize your desire, Sergeant.
I’m beholden to you.
Isolation cell number 12, Ghiza Survivor Shelter.
Commando…
There are dozens of hell holes that are better than this place, do you think so?
Your quarantine ends.
page4
Undefined place, Fort Sejanus, Oxery Primus.
Junion Canyon, Qerlum Rie.
It’s a good show to end my career
Dosmunda village, XLVoskta Sappers’ theater of operations.
I’ll reach you soon.
Damn mine.
Prison Word of Hoox.
This is the sentence: one lash for every civilian dead.
So we’ll whip you and all the regiment to death.
Captain, do you want to save your men?
Yes, Inquisitor.
page5
Our destination: Vampyre.
Vampire, this is how they named the immense underground palace, an obscene legacy of warp storms that grazed the planet a long time ago. The decadent human settlement built it deep into the earth with their delirium and misery.
Unfortunately, it survived the just vengeance of the Imperium, the terrible purge that burned the atmosphere and the soil of the planet. Life ended.
So it was for two centuries.
page6
The Vampire rose from the underground growing grotesque in the darkness, empty temple voracious of soul.
Then the Eldar Pirates came bringing their tortures.
They took the planet and veiled the palace with their witchcraft. It became their new base for their raids on the Gamedian Sector.
Millions of slaves entered its gates.
The Vampire was alive. It wickedly sucked the mind of the slaves rotting inside its halls, fed by the depraved tyrants who called it home.
The Vampire grew endlessly.
Shaman wrote:This is my opinion only.. If its too harsh I am sorry.
The English is clunky. It makes sense but there is something off. I don't know what.
For example..
"Commando…
There are dozens of hell holes that are better than this place, do you think so?"
It makes sense, But it seems off. I don't really have the skills to amend it in any way that I am actually pleased with..
"Commando…
There are a dozen hell holes better than this place, Don't you think?"
But that could be too casual. The speaker looked pretty formal.. So would probably speak differently.
"Commando...
There are a dozen hell holes superior to this rock, Do you agree?"
My attempts are pretty poor, But I think you get my point.
Also 'extra world' is something I have never heard before. I understand what it means but I think 'off world' is what you were looking for.
Anyways thats what I thought..
Also you art is great.. I have bookmarked the page.
Finally you should post this in the News and Rumors forum. Its News to launch a new webcomic. The Background forum is pretty slow..
thank you, too!!!
I know my English is not good :(!! Because of this I ask your support
I'll correct these two things in with the next four pages!!
I've used "extraworld soldier" to.. indicate Imperial Guard, that come from other planets! mmm aka Extra-Terrestrial!! but not refferred to Terra.. off world suonds better !!!!
The first sentence is formal, yeah!! Medic to patient (why I cannot use "dozens"? "a dozen" is.. too little !! )
Darkness.
The sticky atmosphere is icy on the skin as much as dead meat.
We have infiltrated a full hostile land, hidden to the sight by the endless Eldar night, our thermal trace concealed by our body suits.
Our landing module’s aerials serve as radio link, between my vox and Headquarters in the space.
We advance in formation. The deadening fields reduce the noise of footsteps and hard breathing.
The dark palace’s shape is silhouetted against the sky.
Our eyes can see it, Imperial Navy’s sensors can’t.
From above they need us.
Pag 8
A couple of sentries have been silenced by our slender sniper rifles, their twisted and obscene features are now still forever.
Jlota, guerrilla. In sniper’s hide she’s fine, lethal as well as Quavee.
No hesitation.
We reach an abandoned orifice. It is our way in. Into the building.
Let’s go in grand style, chief (or an abbreviation of captain!??)
Natum, mad dynamitard.
Clear
We are in.
Pag 9
Retaliation Squad
- - incoming call - -
decoding line… line clear… answer?
- Yes
<<status>>
- Mongoose into the adder’s nest
<<bites?>>
- None taken, nine given
<<good hunting>>
transmission ended… radio silence restored…
hideous parasite.
hideous crypt.
hideous palace.
Damn Eldar.
Abominable place.
We have no map.
It is a deceiving maze.
This place is… hell.
This is my ideal place.
Kieve, bomb disposal expert. (anti-trap?)
Natum, explosives expert (He places explosives)
Quavee, sniper.
Jlota, recon (scout?)
Negade, storm trooper.
Ronagar, second in command.
In the burrows echo of inhuman sounds. Low moans from the darkest caverns. Suddenly we hear fast footsteps. Diabolic laughter, agonizing howls.
It seems a hunt or an endless massacre.
pag 10
Through the synthetic eyes of our rifles we see endless corridors, one after another.
Visibility is reduced to few meters, dyed in cold tonalities of green and black.
Typical breakthrough formation:
- Two shooters with shotguns and assault armours.
- The squad leader with the frag grenades, backed by the snipers.
- Two sappers with demolition charges.
Five hours and forty-eight minutes ago.
Kill wounded comrades. Kill anything that moves, be it a man or a xeno.
You are not trained to rescue hostages. You are retaliation machines.
First goal: find the Astropath. She will guide you. After the contact you follow orders.
Second goal: kill the adder. Confirm objective’s death breaking to pieces his corpse. May the Emperos help you.
Darkness.
The sticky atmosphere is icy on the skin, like dead meat.
We have infiltrated acompletely hostile land, hidden to the sight by the endless Eldar night, our thermal trace concealed by our body suits.
Our landing module’s aerials serve as radio link, between my vox and Headquarters in the space.
We advance in formation. The deadening fields reduce the noise of footsteps and hard breathing.
The dark palace’s shape is silhouetted against the sky.
Our eyes can see it, Imperial Navy’s sensors can’t.
From above they need us.
Pag 8
A couple of sentries have been silenced by our slender sniper rifles, their twisted and obscene features are now still forever.
Jlota, guerrilla. In a sniper’s hide she’s fine,as lethal as Quavee.
No hesitation.
We reach an abandoned orifice. It is our way in. Into the building.
Let’s go in grand style, chief (or an abbreviation of captain!??) (Here you might want to think about using a different phrase, "go in with a bang" maybe?)
Natum, mad dynamitard. (This part is really confusing. Not sure how to change it.)
Clear
We are in.
Pag 9
Retaliation Squad
- - incoming call - -
decoding line… line clear… answer?
- Yes
<<status>>
- Mongoose into the adder’s nest
<<bites?>>
- None taken, nine given
<<good hunting>>
transmission ended… radio silence restored…
hideous parasite.
hideous crypt.
hideous palace.
Damn Eldar.
Abominable place.
We have no map.
It is a deceiving maze.
This place is… hell.
This is my ideal place.
Kieve, bomb disposal expert. (anti-trap?)
Natum, explosives expert (He places explosives)
Quavee, sniper.
Jlota, recon (scout?)
Negade, storm trooper.
Ronagar, second in command.
The burrows echo with inhuman sounds. Low moans from the darkest caverns. Suddenly we hear fast footsteps. Diabolic laughter, agonizing howls.
It seems like a hunt or an endless massacre.
pag 10
Through the synthetic eyes of our rifles we see endless corridors, one after another.
Visibility is reduced to a few meters, dyed in cold tonalities of green and black.
Typical breakthrough formation:
- Two shooters with shotguns and assault armour
- The squad leaders with the frag grenades, backed by the snipers.
- Two sappers with demolition charges.
Five hours and forty-eight minutes ago.
Kill wounded comrades. Kill anything that moves, be it a man or a xeno.
You are not trained to rescue hostages. You are retaliation machines.
First goal: find the Astropath. She will guide you. After the contact you follow orders.
Second goal: kill the adder. Confirm objective’s death by rending his corpse to pieces. May the Emperor aid you.
Pretty cool, I like where this is going
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/14 17:09:38
No guarantee this is all correct but I will do my best.. As a native speaker my grammar is simply instinctual, I actually don't know the rules.
I think Ill leave this job to Steempunk.. He seems to know what he's doing.. and he ninja'd me.. haha
I'll put my corrections in Bold.
SPOILER
Pag 7 The point of no return.
Kiprael 9, northern edge of Murder Crater.
Darkness. The sticky atmosphere is icy on the skin as much as dead meat. (What are you trying to say here? Need more context to amend it) We have infiltrated hostile territory, hidden from sight by the endless Eldar night, our thermal signature concealed by our body suits.
Our landing module’s aerials serve as radio link, between my vox and Headquarters in the space.
We advance in formation. The deadening fields reduce the noise of footsteps and hard breathing.
The dark palace’s shape is silhouetted against the sky. Our eyes can see it, Imperial Navy’s sensors can’t.
From above they need us.
Pag 8 A couple of sentries have been silenced by our slender sniper rifles, their twisted and obscene features are now still forever.
Jlota, guerrilla. In sniper’s hide she’s fine, lethal as a as Quavee.
No hesitation. We reach an abandoned orifice[entrance??? Or is it alive??]. It is our way in. Into the building.
Let’s go in grand style, chief (or an abbreviation of captain!??) [Grand style doesn't work.. I don't know what to replace it with.. Cap is the abbreviation of captain, but Chief is better IMO]
Natum, mad dynamitard. [Haha I looked up this word and still don't know what it means.. ]
Clear
We are in.
Pag 9 Retaliation Squad
- - incoming call - - decoding line… line clear… answer? - Yes <<status>> - Mongoose into the adder’s nest <<bites?>> - None taken, nine given <<good hunting>> transmission ended… radio silence restored…
hideous parasite.
hideous crypt.
hideous palace.
Damn Eldar.
Abominable place.
We have no map.
It is a deceiving maze.
This place is… hell.
This is my ideal place.
Kieve, bomb disposal expert. (anti-trap?) ....[ Maybe sapper or combat engineer look here to find out if its right for your story.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Combat_engineer ]
Natum, explosives expert (He places explosives)
Quavee, sniper.
Jlota, recon (scout?) [Both are fine.]
Negade, storm trooper.
Ronagar, second in command.
In the burrows echo of inhuman sounds. Low moans from the darkest caverns. Suddenly we hear fast footsteps. Diabolic laughter, agonizing howls. It seems a hunt or an endless massacre.
pag 10 Through the synthetic eyes of our rifles[Rifle Scopes?] we see endless corridors, one after another.
Visibility is reduced to few meters, dyed in cold tonalities of green and black.
Typical breakthrough formation: - Two shooters with shotguns and assault armour. - The squad leader with the frag grenades, backed by the snipers. - Two sappers with demolition charges.
Five hours and forty-eight minutes ago.
Kill wounded comrades. Kill anything that moves, be it a man or a xeno.
You are not trained to rescue hostages. You are retaliation machines.
First goal: find the Astropath. She will guide you. After you make contact you follow orders.
Second goal: kill the Adder. Confirm objective’s death breaking to pieces his corpse. May the Emperor help you.
SPOILER
Anyways.. Thats all I thought of someone else should take a look too!
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/14 17:55:36
2010/04/14 19:01:58
Subject: Re:My WH40K comic -- I need your help- correction - spoiler
I would to say that Natum, the sapper-combat engineer (...), solve all things with big bangs .. he loves explosives and he's mad!!
"Let’s go in grand style, chief"
is wrong!!
I mean "Let's go in (ok) in style(repetition) , with style, with class, chief"
"with a bang" mmm is good but I would to say that Natum go in with elegance (his elegance )
I've readed the link of wiki but..
I'll use "combat engineer" or "sapper" for Kieve, she's a private. For Natum.. mmm Natum belongs to special forces.. (mmm Stallone's role in The Specialist for example).. I need something more aggressive!! In Italian there is "Artificiere(=sapper)" and "Guastatore" that's a qualification for paratroopers, I need something similiar
EDIT:
I find Saboteur!! ))
EDIT2:
Question: orifice or entrance? The palace is pretty alive.. I think I can write "We reach our access point. It is our way in into the building. "
This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at 2010/04/14 21:06:49
I suppose Natum could be a " mad dynamiter"? I'm not sure if that is what you are trying to say.
I Like "Let's go in with style", lets us know about his type of personality and combat style.
I like the word "saboteur", I think it works well here.
If the palace is alive, like a semi-organic building, than orifice would work just fine. I prefer orifice, it adds a sense of fear and disgust to the place.
I got the PM so came here to help out but was pretty much too late again. It seems to basically be done already
I like "explosives expert" for Natum like Shaman said. But, if you want to keep in the fact that he's a bit insane then maybe just describe him a little more than just saying "explosives expert". Maybe "Natum, an explosives expert with an insane love for his art" or something.
I detect signals of life. (or life signals? Lifesigns?)
Human prisoners, captain.
It’s my business, Kieve. (or I care for them?)
We search the astropath in the dark,
in the madness of this place.
The prisoners wander through the
undergrounds, resigned, defeated.
Still they are Emperor’s servants.
They deserve the Emperor's Mercy.
You forget that one.
Seen him
There are few Eldars trying to block
our way. Obscene. Arrogant.
They underestimate us. They fall, mowed down by imperial lead.
Halt. A door. Is it the maze’s end?
Let it blow up, chief. (I blow up the door, chief)
Page 12
Exaggerated amount of explosive.
Splinters and fire saturate the interior. (beyond the door)
Crossed irruption.
Double volume of fire.
We go in.
We kill.
We garrison the entrance hall. (??? it’s a very big internal environment…)
The Polyclops (neologism?? Cyclops has 1 eye, this has many eyes) Skull. The gate is swallowed by its cavernous mouth. It’s the entrance of the second level.
Page 13
Contact.
Steep stairs rise for half a mile.
A dark, cyclopic tunnel.
I can see its end, a faint flash(??) of cold light.
Middle (intermediate?) cours (way?)… Holy Emperor, it’s more black (blacker?) than ink instead
Darkness.
A revolting smell.
A breath of sharp and cold wind.
My short (?? shaven but not at 100% ... like jarhead ) hair staind on end with static electricity.
Electric torch, synthetic eye of gun and infrared viewer. All is useless.
We are blind.
Damn it! I’ve got caught.
A vision in the darkness…
… may be a hallucination of my mind?
I’ve heard a noise.
Remove flash suppressors.
We’ve got company!
Take aim in the middle of their eyes! (between???)
And If any beast does have its eys closed? What a foolish thought.
Page 14
Calm down, Umo Drell. It’s me.
I hear the voice in my head. It’s vehement, traumatic.
It makes my head spin. Who has spoken?
She knows my name. I’m going to fall…
…but the beast is near me…
…I’ve still a bit (grain, trace?) of energy and my faithful combat knife.
Captain!
An accurate lunge.
Then just darkness. (all become dark)
Farewell Eleventh. (eleventh regiment, his regiment)
Someone has took me away from certain death. Jlota. Fallen comrades must be killed, why do you save my life?
We go out from tunnel.
Light dazzle me.
You had to finish me. I owe you my life.
One night will be enough. (one night together? Mmmmm )
Stand up, Ogryn!
Return in command, Captain.
Our Vox recognize only your voice, we still need your working larynx.
The Astropath.
She spoke to me.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/18 20:17:04
I'll do my best.. Its still really not completely correct because of the choppy way you write, with the incomplete sentences.
Edits in CAPS.. Also words have been removed that I forgot to indicate.. you will just have to compare to your copy to find them.
Spoiler (highlight to read): Page 11 Emperor's pity.
I detect LIFESIGNS. (or LIFESIGNS DETECTED) Human prisoners, captain.
It’s my business, Kieve. (or I care for them?)
We search FOR the astropath in the dark, in the madness of this place.
The prisoners wander through the underground(REMOVE S), resigned, defeated.
Still they are Emperor’s servants.
They deserve the Emperor's Mercy.
You forgOt that one.
Seen him (GOT HIM)
There are few Eldar(NO S) trying to block our way. Obscene. Arrogant.
They underestimate us. They fall, mowed down by imperial lead.
Halt. A door. Is it the maze’s end? (IS THE MAZE AT AN END? seems better to me. )
LET'S BLOW IT UP, chief.
Page 12 Exaggerated amount of explosive. Exaggerated is wrong.. The word that comes to my mind is Overkill. But that does not fit where exaggerated is.. New sentence required.
Splinters and fire saturate(i think ENGULF is better then saturate) the interior. (beyond the door)
Crossed irruption. xxI am confused.. o_*xx Double THE volume of fire.
We go in. OR "ENTER" instead of go in.
We kill.
We HOLD the entrance hall. (??? it’s a very big internal environment…)
The Polyclops (this is not a word.. perhaps it is a neologism, I think you can get away with using it. ) Skull. The gate is swallowed by its cavernous mouth. It’s the entrance of the second level.
Page 13 Contact.
Steep stairs rise for half a mile. A dark, cyclopic tunnel. Cyclopic to describe a tunnel? I can see its end, a faint SOURCE of cold light. Middle (intermediate?) coursE (way?) (ARE YOU LOOKING FOR "HALF WAY"?)… Holy Emperor, IT'S PITCH BLACK.
Darkness. A revolting smell. A breath of sharp(,) cold wind. My short hair standS on end with static electricity. THE Electric torch, OUR gun'S synthetic eye and THE infrared viewer. All useless. We are blind.
Damn it! I’ve BEEN caught.
A vision in the darkness…
… a hallucination of my mind?
I heard a noise.
Remove flash suppressors.
We’ve got company!
Aim BETWEEN their eyes! (between???)
And If any beast HAS its eyEs closed? What a foolish thought.
Page 14 Calm down, Umo Drell. It’s me.
I hear the voice in my head(,) it’s vehement, traumatic. It makes my head spin. Who has spoken? She knows my name. I’m going to fall…
…but the beast is near me…
…I’ STILL HAVE AN OUNCE(grain, trace? ) of energy and my faithful combat knife.
Captain!
An accurate lunge. OMG what to do.. Its just not right.. need more info to fix.
Then(,) darkness. (all become dark) Farewell Eleventh. (eleventh regiment, his regiment)
Someone has SAVED ME from certain death. Jlota. Fallen comrades must be killed, why do you save my life?
We go out from tunnel. THE Light DISORIENTS me.
You SHOULD OF finishED me. I owe you my life.
One night will be enough. Stand up, Ogryn!
Return TO command, Captain. Our Vox recognizeS only your voice, we still need your working larynx.
The Astropath. She spoke to me.
Anyways its the best I can do.......
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/29 16:48:14