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I can't help misreading 'Ranking' every time I scroll through this forum...

I don't get it? I love Bullfrog however; I reckon you should get your avatar to be the standard bullfrog shifting to develop claws etc. Dungeon Keeper 2 Style.

Next ranking will be added shortly...


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15th: "Daddy! Luther's Picking On Me!"

Yep, this list is getting more complicated by the second! At number 15, it's Lion El' Jonson.
Quite possibly the most spoilt and petulant Primarch there is, he's like a child throwing it's rattle out of a pram, but his rattle is the fate of 1000's. Jonson had the potential to be so, so cool! Just look at that image; how awesome is that?! The Dark Angels are also pretty cool and Jonson himself is a powerful fighter and tactician alike. However, no super-super-human being should ever be that petulant.
First on the list of my gripes with him is his belief that he should have been Warmaster. Why does he believe this? Not only because he's arrogant but because he's the Primarch of the 1st Legion?! Grow a pair man! It's a number! Then at the end of Fallen Angels, He spoils his (incredible) tactics through his petulance; the story of his life IMHO.
Then there's the problem of him and Luther, it shouldn't take a genius to realise Luther's jealousy and potential threat to the Legion. Maybe Lion should've removed Luther from power long before he became a problem. Luther himself should've also grown a pair IMO, he's the son of the Emperor; realise your superiors. When Luther barely stopped Jonson being nuked in orbit should have been enough of a sign for Jonson, but instead you send him back to look over 1/2 the Legion?! Maybe I'm just cold-hearted, I don't know, I just think him and Luther are as bad as each other - pretty bad!
And Jonson also stormed out in a strop after his fight with Russ (who himself, was in the wrong IMHO) and then gave him the silent treatment?!

I apologise to all those who understandably like The Lion, but beneath his rock-hard, uber-cool exterior, he really, really needs to grow up.

Dude. These threads are designed to be hilariously opinionated.

Stop apologizing!

Well said as always SaintHazard
P.S Just Dave, I for one have agreed with you on your choices so far, but if Morty doesn't win... There will be words. Jokes

hahaha! Apologies (DAMNIT!) guys. I'll stop...

My god! Thanks Ludd! If anyone can guess any of my next choices I will be suitably impressed!

Konrad cruze for next choice?

I think it's the missing primarchs (unless Just Dave becomes unbelievably cynical and decides that all the primarchs are terrible and the mystery and therefore customizability of the missing primarchs is the best)

I've just realised, Just Dave, even if your excluding the missing primarchs, then why have you only got 18 places? Two missing makes nineteen otheres doesn't it? Unless first place is a draw... :O

SaintHazard wrote:
Actually, the truth is I'm on Dakka all day at work. Working in an office, I am one of many very sexy people who do very little work and have affairs. You know how it goes.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

SaintHazard wrote:
Actually, the truth is I'm on Dakka all day at work. Working in an office, I am one of many very sexy people who do very little work and have affairs. You know how it goes.

Wow, I'm in the same boat too...maybe we should get together and steam things up here on dakka....make all the posters spam "NO WANT" pictures

No no, he was right. There were 20 primarchs, and I didn't notice that he started from 18, which means that the missing primarchs aren't there.

I suspect the next worst being Rowboat Girlyman.

Alphy and Omeg get the same space then?

Yep, Omegon/Alpharius get the same space...

TherVadam wrote:I think it's the missing primarchs (unless Just Dave becomes unbelievably cynical and decides that all the primarchs are terrible and the mystery and therefore customizability of the missing primarchs is the best)

oooh don't tempt me.

VikingScott wrote:

SaintHazard wrote:
Actually, the truth is I'm on Dakka all day at work. Working in an office, I am one of many very sexy people who do very little work and have affairs. You know how it goes.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Made sure it's plugged in?

I bet Russ is next...

I bet Russ is in first place, because Dave clearly is a SW player.

I bet the final list is:
1. Curze
2. Russ
3. Perturabo
4. Alpharius
5. Hmm...Dorn

Also-you're all seriously tempting me to do another of these threads, and if I do it'll fail horribly. Do you enjoy torturing me or something?

14th: Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command...

In at number 14 it's Perturabo, Primarch of one of the coolest Legions. However, this is about the Primarch's not their Legion's and as a whole, Perturabo is almost as whiney as Jonson!
What's worse than a hypocrite? An angry, jealous hypocrite at the head of hundreds of thousands angry super-warriors. Perturabo is an angry, jealous hypocrite at the head of such an army.
One thing I do like about Perturabo; he's evil. It's not that I like evilness, I always prefer the good-guys, however it just adds depth and character. Also, Perturabo has a cool image and his Legion is freakin' awesome! Similarly, Perturabo always manages to cause masses of Blood-shed without getting his hands dirty; he'd be very manipulative if he wasn't a whiny prick.
However, he complains about being used for masses of Siege Warfare, which I can kind of understand. However, it's without doubt his and his Legion's speciality and they didn't actually do anything other than moan, they didn't request a 'transfer' etc. he just moaned. So then he joins forces with Horus partially because he's fed up with constantly having to use siege warfare, then what does he do under Horus? Siege f***ing warfare!! Then what does he do after the heresy? More Siege f***ing warfare!!!
Secondly, he mutilates the population of his home world because they rebel, which is a bit harsh in itself - evil!!! Then he's all upset because he thinks people won't approve/will criticise him for it. But wait, he joins forces with the arch-traitor and Chaos gods?! I know which one of those two actions I'd forgive him for and it doesn't involve alliance with multi-tentacled nutters...
Also, Perturabo is jealous of Dorn? Grow up man! You're a freakin' Primarch! So what, Dorn can build some impressive defences, you're acknowledged as being the best for tearing them down. Everyone has their skills and their flaws and in the greater scheme of things, who cares if Dorn - your brother - gets a couple more pats on the back than you? If you weren't such an introverted, angry and complaining pleb, maybe the people would love you too?

So yes, for crimes against maturity, it's Perturabo.

I'm lovin' this! This is great!

I think next up is Dorn or Guilliman

LOL! Great stuff JD... fantastic!

Thanks guys, comments like that make this worth doing!

Now I'm really stuck on who to rank next...

Rowboat Girlypants

Yo Primarch is sooo Hypocritical he avoided the biggest fight EVA, and THEN had the guts to write a book on how to fight and MAKE everyone use it

I have a request, if you don't mind could you add in which legion the primarch is leading? I'm not that up on my fluff and I'm not really a SM player so my knowledge is very limited. Anyway it is interesting to see what you and others have to say about "The Founding Fathers" of the imperium's finest.

1. magnus the red
2.alparius/omegon
3.fulgrim
4horus
5.lorgar
6.ferrus manus
7.the lion
8.vulkan
9.leman russ
10.conrad curze
11.sanguinius
12.jaghatai khan
13.corax
14.rogal dorn
15.roboute guilliman
i know hes not a primarch but i think malchador the sigilite is cooler because he is a complete mystery i personly think there is a possiblity that he is actually the emperors true son and not vat grown like the primarchs

I thought they ALL came from his loins? Gene Seed is another term for a word i've never said.

Sabatine wrote:I thought they ALL came from his loins? Gene Seed is another term for a word i've never said.

nah all the primarchs were created by the emperor deep underneath the emperors palace. but the emperor is so old that it is possible he sired children.
in the horus heresy books it tell you alot about how the primarchs were made

I stopped reading them so i'll finish them i guess. sucks cause ruined my belief in johnson. thought he was a prick but not an uber prick.

Sabatine wrote:I stopped reading them so i'll finish them i guess. sucks cause ruined my belief in johnson. thought he was a prick but not an uber prick.

damn right johnson was a prick thats why hes not that high up on my list... poor luther


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damn i can believe i forgot to put perturabo on oh well hes my least favorite primarch anyway all those yellow and black hazard markings what was he thinking he might aswell beep when he goes backwards

What about all the references to sssshhh!!!([i]looks around suspiciously) the new Cypher being johnson?

Sabatine wrote:I thought they ALL came from his loins? Gene Seed is another term for a word i've never said.

and who were the mothers then


Malchador being the Emperors real child is an interesting theory. lets hope he was the same size as a normal child(that poor woman )

Random Prostitutes that didn't have VD