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There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.

"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."

The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III."

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass"

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes,*the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike.

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike, can I marry your daughter now?"

"Sure."

^^^
A telling tale, for sure.

I've told this story once, and many have saw it as waaaay over the top, but I'll tell it to the best of my memory again.

So, one night (probably 8:00) a "less than liked" guy walked in, with his Orks I believe it was, I cannot remember for the life of me. Unfortunately, he was a bit more than tipsy at the time.

So he unloaded, and wanted to play my GF in a game, with her Sisters of Battle.

So, he eventually got the charge against one of her S.O.B squads I think it was, with some boyz, and when he rolled to hit (or wound, again, no memory) he rolled ALL 6's, and it was probably 20+ dice.

So, my GF literally said "What the feth, dude?" There was no kids, so it was alright. He promptly replied "Hahaha, they're Orks! What can I say!" I believe.

My GF wasted no time in sending her foot straight to his genitals.

He fell out of the store, and walked to his car, leaving his drunkass army and dumbass dice on the table.

Nothing was filed against my GF, 'nor the store. He came in one day I was told, took his packed up army, said "Sorry' and we never saw him again.

Thats about as accurate as I remember the store.

Did I miss something, or does it seem like your GF overreacted to improbable rolling on the drunk opponent's part?

Wait, she kicked a man in the genitals for saying "Hahaha, they're Orks! What can I say!"? Why was he the dumbass?

Sorry, don't mean to derail the thread, just the 'annidote' of unwarrented assault threw me.

Karon wrote:^^^
A telling tale, for sure.

I've told this story once, and many have saw it as waaaay over the top, but I'll tell it to the best of my memory again.

So, one night (probably 8:00) a "less than liked" guy walked in, with his Orks I believe it was, I cannot remember for the life of me. Unfortunately, he was a bit more than tipsy at the time.

So he unloaded, and wanted to play my GF in a game, with her Sisters of Battle.

So, he eventually got the charge against one of her S.O.B squads I think it was, with some boyz, and when he rolled to hit (or wound, again, no memory) he rolled ALL 6's, and it was probably 20+ dice.

So, my GF literally said "What the feth, dude?" There was no kids, so it was alright. He promptly replied "Hahaha, they're Orks! What can I say!" I believe.

My GF wasted no time in sending her foot straight to his genitals.

He fell out of the store, and walked to his car, leaving his drunkass army and dumbass dice on the table.

Nothing was filed against my GF, 'nor the store. He came in one day I was told, took his packed up army, said "Sorry' and we never saw him again.

Thats about as accurate as I remember the store.

1. I am sure this didn't happen, its just too stupid.
2. If true I really really hope you were banned from the store. It would be wrong and inappropriate for me to say "God you just suck so much it makes my spleen itch," here I am sure, so I won't.

Eh?

Besides, that story doesn't even fit in with the topic. That would be in 'Awkward Gaming Moments' or something.

He means loaded dice. Were it really a lucky occurence the Ork player would likely have stood there in a stunned silence and not gloated like he did. Things with such an astronomical chance like that aren't usually accompanied by a smug look. Plus there's probably more info we're missing.

Models that have made you go 0_0.

Not moments, not cheats, not cute puppy displays. Models.

My friend who plays IG wanted to make a special model for the tank commander guy (forget his name). So now he has a lemun russ with a guy popped out of the hatch. His left arm is a heavy bolter and his right is a giant sentinel chainsaw.

He also has a guardsman that has no arms, but lasguns attached to his shoulders. That soldier is always manning a heavy weapon next to a guy pointing at the enemy with a shovel.

The reason i play Fists:

There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter...

Why??? I just wasted 10 minutes of my life

I just found this on eBay. It's quite something, if you like this "custom built dinosaur" slann mage it's currently Buy it Now for £12 + £2 p&p.

Gandair wrote:He means loaded dice. Were it really a lucky occurence the Ork player would likely have stood there in a stunned silence and not gloated like he did. Things with such an astronomical chance like that aren't usually accompanied by a smug look. Plus there's probably more info we're missing.

Though I know I am pulling the thread off-topic, I feel I need to explain more.

Yeah, by loaded dice, I mean "LOADED DICE" He gloated about it, and stuck in a few racial swears in there aswell before she took the liberty for her foot to meet his crotch. I don't feel like it was the correct thing to do, but hell, I know my GF well enough to know that telling her off for doing it would have been the worst thing I could have done.

I didn't mention how much of an actual ass this guy was just in the store sober. He cheated regularly when nobody was really around, and is about the highest level of TFG you could possibly get.

I apologize for my distraction to this thread.

Karon wrote:Yeah, by loaded dice, I mean "LOADED DICE" He gloated about it, and stuck in a few racial swears in there aswell before she took the liberty for her foot to meet his crotch.

Yeah, see, mentioning that the dice were loaded is the sort of information that would have made the original story make more sense, and seem less like your GF is prone to random acts of violence just because her opponent makes a lucky roll...

Wouldn't have made it any more on-topic for the thread, though.

I apologize, I was sure to mention loaded dice, but things escape me at the worst times more often then I would like :/.

Anyways, I owe this thread a contribution.

For me, the one model I've always hated seeing on the table is Pedro Kantor ( I see someone above me likes him). His Storm Bolter always seems to do something amazing every game, such as wound Marneus Calgar 4 times, and him failing all his 2+ saves to it.

I mean, c'mon.

This guy at a GW store, primed his lictor white.

Then used all the wash colors in some funky combo for his 'Skittles' camo lictor.........

Karon wrote:I apologize, I was sure to mention loaded dice, but things escape me at the worst times more often then I would like :/.

I thought it was obvious what the implication was. No one rolls 20 sixes, the odds on that happening are astronomical, 10 dice is 6 million to one (6 to the power 10, I can't use superscript here), so it's somewhat unlikely. 20 dice is a staggering 365 trillion to one against if I counted the zeros correctly, not even the emperor himself could do that.

RogueMarket wrote:
This guy at a GW store, primed his lictor white.

Then used all the wash colors in some funky combo for his 'Skittles' camo lictor.........

Sounds awesome. Any pics?

Howard A Treesong wrote:

Karon wrote:I apologize, I was sure to mention loaded dice, but things escape me at the worst times more often then I would like :/.

I thought it was obvious what the implication was. No one rolls 20 sixes, the odds on that happening are astronomical, 10 dice is 6 million to one (6 to the power 10, I can't use superscript here), so it's somewhat unlikely. 20 dice is a staggering 365 trillion to one against if I counted the zeros correctly, not even the emperor himself could do that.

Well, maybe once in a while. Remember, he took lessons from Chuck Norris.

TempusCorvus wrote:Maybe I'm a little dense, but I don't see why you need to stop the story there. Clearly, I'm missing whatever you're implying, but still.

Ask not of the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike, for you may just recieve...

Mekboy wrote:

TempusCorvus wrote:Maybe I'm a little dense, but I don't see why you need to stop the story there. Clearly, I'm missing whatever you're implying, but still.

Ask not of the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike, for you may just recieve...

You noticed that it's already been posted, right...?

To be honest, I never really understood why that joke got so much hype. The original joke (which was about a black and white knight) was only vaguely amusing, and then only if you're mused by jokes that stretch on forever just to slap you in the forehead at the end... changing it to be about a space marine makes no sense at all, and (for me, at least) kills any amusement value it originally had.

So it's not funny, it doesn't make any sense, and yet for many years was this huge in-joke on so many forums. Go figure.

Which is why it's so funny.

Emperors Faithful wrote:Which is why it's so stupid.

Fixed that for ya, EF.

Howard A Treesong wrote:I just found this on eBay. It's quite something, if you like this "custom built dinosaur" slann mage it's currently Buy it Now for £12 + £2 p&p.

Strangely enough, I bought a model of that exact same triceratops when I was a little kid. It had a different houda though.

Also, what exactly is a "model that makes you go 0_0"?

What does that emoticon even represent? Kind of an unclear thread in my opinion.

Just reading through, and...

CT GAMER wrote:Some guys at GW HQ had the bright idea to have space wolves ride giant wolves!?!

We told them that it was silly: I mean do Blood Ravens ride giant Ravens? Do Space Sharks ride giant sharks?

We lol'd.

They put them in the codex anyways...

If Space Sharks did ride giant sharks, I would totally play them.

Kanluwen wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:Which is why it's so stupid.

Fixed that for ya, EF.

Thanks for that.

@Brother SRM: I think 0_0 = Wow. In many different ways. From sickening to amzingly awesome. Like the Hornet Marines.



Or this.

I dunno about awkward / funny, but I did a double-take when I saw the Hasslefree Artemis resin.

I don't know if it's the prison nurse makeup, the dynamic bosom, the greenstuff armpit hair or the anatomically correct squig pom pom.....but the following models make me farking lol everytime;

http://coolminiornot.com/18049

http://coolminiornot.com/139906

Ew.

DiscoVader wrote:Just reading through, and...

CT GAMER wrote:Some guys at GW HQ had the bright idea to have space wolves ride giant wolves!?!

We told them that it was silly: I mean do Blood Ravens ride giant Ravens? Do Space Sharks ride giant sharks?

We lol'd.

They put them in the codex anyways...

If Space Sharks did ride giant sharks, I would totally play them.

only if they were flying sharks with lasers

The rumours say that lasers may be a viable option in their chosen wargear.