Big wimp afraid to play with models

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**Gehennar**

Surtur wrote:
It's the similarities of the post where words are changed just to fit the context that raises eyebrows.

And the exact same wording would have been more credible? That, if anything, sounds like a troll move: copypasta etc., posting a canned inflammatory comment to elicit negative response. Which my original post did not, so I'm even more confused at the troll label—or maybe I just don't understand trolling at all and I can't see the similarities

I wanted to tailor my statements for each community is all.

**Grey Templar**

What he's saying is that they do look like a canned post, so the accusations of troll are understandable.

It would have helped if they didn't look very very similar.

**Surtur**

Grey Templar wrote:
What he's saying is that they do look like a canned post, so the accusations of troll are understandable.

It would have helped if they didn't look very very similar.

Thank you! That's pretty much it. I'm not trying to be hostile. Though calling troll with the subject matter is a bit of a stretch.

I can get apprehensive about playing new people. The worries of getting stomped into the dirt, leaving a bad impression and the like are just that, worries. I've been able to overcome these worries by just doing it over and over to the point where playing with new people isn't really a new thing. I believe you should set aside a day that is agreeable just for you to do your thing and she can do her thing. Then just go and do it. Chances are the people you play against are people. And they will have similar worries.

**gobbo76**

Gehennar wrote:
TL;DR: Grown man makes excuses for not going to one of the biggest FLGS in North America to play Warmachine; wonders what is wrong with him.

Not sure if I need a shrink or just a good smack in the jaw, but I have this problem that’s bothering me: I wish I could bring myself to play Warmachine for real (ex. going to my FLGS to play), but I can’t.

The issues are on two levels: skill and commitment.

For skill, I am extremely green. I have never played against another person, only built armies and played them against each other. I love this part of the hobby—painting models, building cohesive armies, working out the what-ifs, learning the rules—but I know Warmachine is an extremely technical game for smart people. One of my greatest fears, despite being a grown man, is taking my super-cool Menoth army to my FLGS (which happens to be Calgary’s The Sentry Box) and getting trounced by some pimply 16-year-old who then laughs in my face. I am fully aware this is stupid but I can’t shake the mental image.

On the commitment front, I have a wife who only kind of tolerates me being a gamer/nerd. Since she doesn’t outright hate me playing video games etc., I guess I have it pretty good. I just can’t see her being happy when I tell her, ‘Oh, I’ll be out every Thursday night playing with toys, which you associate with the geeks on Big Bang Theory and thus astutely refuse to play with me. Because of said refusal, our limited together-time will have to suffer so I can hang out drinking Monster with pimply 16-year-olds.’

I appreciate the irony of a ‘grown man’ having this pretty childish dilemma, because I’ve had this fear of getting involved in a gaming community (of any kind) for years. I realize this is the very negative side of things (my default side). Maybe my army is actually really good. Maybe my wife would get the hint and want to play if I started abandoning her Thursday nights. But I wrote this as a question, not just idle speculation, because I’m tired of speculating.

What does the forum think? Are my fears unfounded? Should I just go out and do it? Or am I really too old and should just worry about my RRSPs instead?

My Advice is twofold

1. Go down to the FLGS talk to some of the Warmahordes players, watch a few games, explain that you are green player, but take the Battlebox down with you just incase :-)
2. Sit down and talk to your wife and explain what you are thinking of doing. Be honest and open about it.

Frankly being beaten and laughed at by a pimply 16 yr old IMHO opinion is usually left to the GW Stores. If it's a decent FLGS then the chances are there won't be those type players as they normally run out of opponents to play against and drift away and what you will have is a decent bunch of people to play against and learn from.

Will always be nervous going to something like that where you don't know anyone it was for me as well. But, once you have been down a few times it gets easier and easier, and the upside is you will make a new bunch of friends, and if they have wives and partners a new circle of friends for both you and your wife

I have a wife who just about tolerates my gaming as she thinks it is childish, but she also understands that it always good to have your own 'me' time and frankly though she won't admit it she prefers me doing my geeky gaming to going out and getting drunk. Also I have 3 kids so my gaming time has dropped off as result, though my eldest has been playing and enjoying Heroquest :-)

**Moktor**

My wife is just the opposite. I work crazy hours and had very little (ok, let's be honest, absolutely ZERO) social life. She was so happy when I started going out and gaming! Sure, Uncle Joe visits a lot more now, I don't get that, he never really liked me, but I get my games in.

Jokes aside, no one can tell a guy what to do about his relationship besides him. Some spouses are supportive (my wife has a troll army, lol) and others look at you like a crazy geek. Of course, we ARE often crazy geeks, and that SHOULD help in determining your perfect mate, but hey, what can I say? Not everyone can have a wife that is cool with gaming.

gobbo76 wrote:
Gehennar wrote:
TL;DR: Grown man makes excuses for not going to one of the biggest FLGS in North America to play Warmachine; wonders what is wrong with him.

Not sure if I need a shrink or just a good smack in the jaw, but I have this problem that’s bothering me: I wish I could bring myself to play Warmachine for real (ex. going to my FLGS to play), but I can’t.

The issues are on two levels: skill and commitment.

For skill, I am extremely green. I have never played against another person, only built armies and played them against each other. I love this part of the hobby—painting models, building cohesive armies, working out the what-ifs, learning the rules—but I know Warmachine is an extremely technical game for smart people. One of my greatest fears, despite being a grown man, is taking my super-cool Menoth army to my FLGS (which happens to be Calgary’s The Sentry Box) and getting trounced by some pimply 16-year-old who then laughs in my face. I am fully aware this is stupid but I can’t shake the mental image.

On the commitment front, I have a wife who only kind of tolerates me being a gamer/nerd. Since she doesn’t outright hate me playing video games etc., I guess I have it pretty good. I just can’t see her being happy when I tell her, ‘Oh, I’ll be out every Thursday night playing with toys, which you associate with the geeks on Big Bang Theory and thus astutely refuse to play with me. Because of said refusal, our limited together-time will have to suffer so I can hang out drinking Monster with pimply 16-year-olds.’

I appreciate the irony of a ‘grown man’ having this pretty childish dilemma, because I’ve had this fear of getting involved in a gaming community (of any kind) for years. I realize this is the very negative side of things (my default side). Maybe my army is actually really good. Maybe my wife would get the hint and want to play if I started abandoning her Thursday nights. But I wrote this as a question, not just idle speculation, because I’m tired of speculating.

What does the forum think? Are my fears unfounded? Should I just go out and do it? Or am I really too old and should just worry about my RRSPs instead?

My Advice is twofold

1. Go down to the FLGS talk to some of the Warmahordes players, watch a few games, explain that you are green player, but take the Battlebox down with you just incase :-)
2. Sit down and talk to your wife and explain what you are thinking of doing. Be honest and open about it.

Frankly being beaten and laughed at by a pimply 16 yr old IMHO opinion is usually left to the GW Stores. If it's a decent FLGS then the chances are there won't be those type players as they normally run out of opponents to play against and drift away and what you will have is a decent bunch of people to play against and learn from.

Will always be nervous going to something like that where you don't know anyone it was for me as well. But, once you have been down a few times it gets easier and easier, and the upside is you will make a new bunch of friends, and if they have wives and partners a new circle of friends for both you and your wife

I have a wife who just about tolerates my gaming as she thinks it is childish, but she also understands that it always good to have your own 'me' time and frankly though she won't admit it she prefers me doing my geeky gaming to going out and getting drunk. Also I have 3 kids so my gaming time has dropped off as result, though my eldest has been playing and enjoying Heroquest :-)

**poda_t**

Hello fellw calgaryanite.

Come out to Sentrybox on thursday nights. We play, and it's good fun. I've been losing games since I started this summer, I won maybe two games, but that's okay. You'll keep losing the first 20 or so games as you start to develop your skill and learning about the reality of tactical situations. It's a good crew there, so you're liable to have a good time. Most of the teens who show up on thursdays confine themselves to MTG, the rest of us are over 18. We do laugh, but that's got more to do with some of the ridiculous things that happen than anything else, like that one in 36 chance where you roll 12, or your opponent accidently overkills your war-caster and there are 7 more points of damage than there are boxes.

You will be playing with grown men, some show up earlier and head across the street for a dinner and beer before playing. You wouldn't be the only one to have your wife come barging in, brandishing a rollign pin, if you made the grievous error of stickign around too late. show up at around 5:45, games start at 6, most games take about 1-1.5 hours and are played at 50 points. Most people are done by 8:00, 9:00 at the latest. Alternative is to also go on sundays, but I'm not sure of the popularity on sunday.

also google calgary cogs. That's the forum the WM club uses.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm still new as well, and I think there were a couple of other recent newbies. The tourney guys also know how to tune their army and play to make it fair and not scare off newbies.

**Moktor**

poda_t wrote:
Hello fellw calgaryanite.

You'll keep losing the first 20 or so games as you start to develop your skill and learning about the reality of tactical situations.

I just want to +1 this... I know many players that get discouraged about losing (a LOT) in W/H, especially when they come from 40K or some other game that doesn't have the same level of tactical depth. Much like chess, this game requires real, on-the-board experience. You can't just grab a net list and go to town... but if you have a good local crew (they are common in Warmachine!) they will coach you, play tamer games, and teach you to play well. You will have a great time, the community is really good.

I just ran a Steamroller event this past weekend and two very experienced players drove nearly two hours to support my first event. All the other players were brand new, so the experienced players bought in, made tame lists and after winning first and second place, passed on the rewards. I play practically everything else as well, and there are good and bad in every game, but overall I have been most impressed by W/H players.

**poda_t**

Not just that, but the good crew will say "uh, you forgot to do this, do it", offering other suggestions on how to shoot, in what order, allowing take-backsies, while being hard on themselves (if they make a mistake, they are sad. If you make a mistake, they let you take it back)

**Grey Templar**

Take backsies are actually a bad idea. They don't really train you not to do that bad thing again.

The best way to do it IMO is for the experienced player to, after the bad move has been made, point out why it was a bad move. And what they should have done instead. Then you make them live with that mistake.

People learn more from real mistakes than ones which they are sheltered from the actual consequences of.

**poda_t**

Grey Templar wrote:
Take backsies are actually a bad idea. They don't really train you not to do that bad thing again.

The best way to do it IMO is for the experienced player to, after the bad move has been made, point out why it was a bad move. And what they should have done instead. Then you make them live with that mistake.

People learn more from real mistakes than ones which they are sheltered from the actual consequences of.

for the purpose of trying something novel? yeah, take-backsies are good. like changing your mind on which spell to cast or which order to shoot in. You realize the error in your logic just after you start doing something.

**darefsky (Flight Medic Paints)**

I'm late to this party but I'll add my thoughts....

My wife does not really like the hobby (more because of the costs that I have incurred over the years...) but she realizes that it is my outlet for stress relief and supports me in giving me hobby time. We also have 4 kids all under the age of 12 and my 8 year old loves playing so it has also morphed into quality time with daddy for him.

That said my wife is also "geeky" in her own way with crafts so I support her as well.

We both have differnt hobby's/interests and a few we share, the big thing is to be supportive of each other and not dismissive. Make sure to spend time with each other and do things together often but you also have to have time for yourself.

Now for part 2, the playing at the FLGS.

Go and have fun. Fun and wining do not have to be the same thing. I go to the FLGS to hang out with other folks that share my enthusiasm for playing with man-dollies and win or lose I try to make sure my opponent and I have fun. You can always go up to the store and say something like "hey this is my first game again in a game store, anyone up for a teaching game?" Most WM/H gamers I have come across will be more than glad to help (yes there are a few WAAC folks out there but you will be able to weed them out pretty quickly).

Good luck and have fun

**Cryage**

I'm one of the geeks that play at Sentry on Thursday - I'll shed some light;

The OP's post and the MTG post are likely the same because Sentry Box (FLGS) has Warmachine/Hordes AND Magic on thursday nights, so he's likely deciding on bouncing between the two - of course that's fine

Second, the idea of "pimply faced 16 year olds" - typically just a stereotype. If you come to Sentry box, our youngest guy is 26 years old (there may be a few younger ones, but the most consistent we're betweeen 25-35). We're actually pretty normal guys with no outrageously nerdy jobs (I'm a project manager with a restoration company, we have guys who work in insurance, banks, carpenters, painters, engineers, etc) .

I'd encourage coming out and bringing down a battle box or a point level you are comfortable with, we have new people show up every now and again, and later in the year (Octoberish to Decemberish) we usually start a slow grow league where you pick a caster and master them (15 points for 2 weeks, 25 points for 2 weeks, 35 for 3 weeks then 50 points for 3 weeks).

Also a shameless plug for our group, Brynn Holdstock (on WTC's Team Canada 1) is our press ganger and you will learn A LOT from him

http://rcwa.ca/team-canada-roster-finalized/

We also play a lot of games with the Red Deer guys (So Tyler, Gord & Gerry on Team Canada) so you'll learn a lot from them as well

I will give you a heads up - we are a "HARD" meta just because we learn so much from one another - that said don't be shy as a new player, you don't have to be the super competitive player and make it out to every tournament, we're not going to be donkey-caves and murder you every chance we get... well maybe I will since I'm a jerk

Anyway I encourage you to come out, even just to swing by and say hi for 30-60 minutes and get to know us, see our armies, see how we play - ask questions. Honestly , just pull up a chair and watch a game, we're more than willing to make small talk.

Cheers!

edit: also if your wife bugs you, you could say it's either this or getting drunk with friends every weekend.

**Grey Templar**

Props to you sharing space with the same time as Magic.

**poda_t**

Grey Templar wrote:
Props to you sharing space with the same time as Magic.

There's enough space for 4 tables of WM/Hordes, 2-3 tables of Warhammer (unless playing 4x4, in which case it's 4), bunch of tables for MTG, other CCGs, 2-4 tables for board games and then the back room, more of a large meeting room, has enough space for 16 people to more than comfortably sit playing D&D. Otherwise, that room can hold another 6 tables. the sentrybox is gigantinormous.

@OP either way. We look forward to seeing/meeting you.

**Cryage**

Also if you want to meet us online our website is http://cogs-gaming.com and we post weekly who is showing up what day so you have an idea who is in attendance

**Necroshea**

Swastakowey wrote:
Sheesh, I couldnt imagine being controlled by Fiancee. I would never let that happen

Personally I would think that this sort of thing should be sorted out before marriage.

Yeesh, this. They don't have to support what I do, but girls who try to shut down my hobbies while offering nothing as a valid replacement don't make it very far with me. Feel sorry for you guys.

**Talamare**

I feel you need to come out of the closet man
You will feel better once you accepted yourself
I know it can be hard, you probably had a lot of hatred and bigots putting you down

but its okay
The world is slightly more accepting these days
So stop holding it
Tell your family, Tell your lover, Tell your friends
Come out of the closet
They will accept you
We will accept you
Come out of the closet friend~

**Kavish**

Get out and play. That's the only way to get experience. You'll take some savage beatings at first, we all do. But you'll improve.

As for the wife, if she is not accepting of your interests then you need to think seriously whether you really want to be with this woman. My last major relationship was like this. She wouldn't even step foot in the FLGS. So judgemental and closed minded. I realise now that she is a b!tc#. I am married now to a woman who supports my creative hobby and encourages me. She even bought me the mega paint set with all of the citadel paints in it. I'm so glad I'm with her and not the other one. Food for thought.

**Vigilant**

It's a more common dilema then you think. It's the same with any hobby really. Shooting, hunting, car clubs, rc clubs, etc. I married a true blue homemaker, so she actually encourages me to do my thing. This does not mean she spends time with me doing my hobbies. I do my things, she does hers.

I don't spend time at shops with tweens either. Find yourself an adult hobby shop. The type that sells model trains, rc choppers and planes, you know, grown up stuff. Find your peers there, or try to get some of your existing friends into your hobbies. A drinking buddy makes a hell of a better gaming buddy than a pimply faced tween in braces mouthing off about rules.

Nothing much else besides that. I enjoy painting and collecting models first. Gaming with them comes second. I play Xbox if I need to play a game.

**sirlotsofpain**

I'm closing in on 30 and play 40k a lot. I am selective(ish) of who I play with. I go the the FLGS and play every once in awhile... Mainly I go to recruit some of the older folks to have a couple games at the house with beer and chips. The game is just more fun in a relaxed atmosphere.

I am an Army Captain, I game with several other army Captains. So I just tell my wife its training not gaming.

Is it bad to admit I really don't like gaming with those much younger than I? Well i guess i don't care much if its bad, I just don't do it.

BTW I didn't even start war-gaming until i hit 26! I also give my wife an earful when she calls them toys and not replicas