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In a discussion about why there are so many contemporary roleplaying games that take place in high schools, one poster said something that gave me the funniest idea. I'll just give you a moment to try and figure out where I'm going with this.

I thought it would be really funny to put together a high school roleplaying game riffing on 40k (or perhaps a 40k roleplaying game riffing on high school). The idea is an otherwise normal North American high school full of crazy 40k overtones (ludicrous gothic architecture, unnecessary bureaucracy, etc), attended by would-be commissars, stormtroopers, Sisters of Battle, and other 40k normals, all trying to survive high school. Imagine the humor of a group of techpriests avoiding the wrath of the jocks, rival hive gangs having a turf war over the school's smoke pit, all while an unlikely freshman stormtrooper is trying to ask the head Soroeita cheerleader to the prom. Imagine what the Breakfast Club would have been like if Molly Ringwald was an Imperial officer, or Weird Science would have been like if Lisa was a rogue psyker. Or 21 Jump Street, but with rookie Arbites infiltrating schools to root out rogue chaos elements and find Dark Eldar combat drugs. How completely ridiculous and entertaining could this be?

What I'm trying to figure out is what kind of sports would exist in a 40k high school, and who specifically would be the jocks (aside from everyone). I've always felt that, given a chance, Blood Bowl would totally happen in 40k, but I'd like to know what other sports and leisure activities I could throw in. I want to paint this very 40k, but not so 40k as to make the game unplayable. I'm looking to parody high school movies and tv shows, so character will have to deal with (in a really tongue in cheek manner) the usual homework and detention, self discovery, and girl next door issues that teens seem to face.

Thoughts?

Wait- RPGs settings are now high schools rather than fantasy lands, dark dungeons or abandonned castles?

I missed that memo..

Yeah, have been for awhile. Cybergeneration is one such RPG.

Given the size of the Imperium, there are sports of all kind, of both the legal and the illegal variety. Legal ones would include a soccer variant, probably a cricket variant, and definitely a rugby variant.

I seem to recall one of the Cain novels remarking that, in the Schola Progenium, the soon-to-be-Sisters of Battle girls team was censured for beating the crap out of the boys team in space-rugby.

From the Cain books:

Scrumball (rugby)

Grasshopper (Cricket; popular in the Britannicus cluster, matches some times go on for months).

On a more general idea, what we view as high school doesn't really exist in the 40K setting. Given its English origins, the age-of-adulthood in the Imperium commonly seems to be 16, and most Imperial citizens receive only a very basic primary education (like, grade school) at the most, and the rest they learn as apprentices in some sort of craft or trade.

The closest thing to a recognizable school environment they have is the Schola Progenium, which is like a religious military school cranked up to 11. Pretty sure I don't have to say anything about English military schools to illustrate the point. It is from these schools that the vast bulk of the Administratum and the Clergy arise, as well as Commissars, Storm Troopers and the Adepta Sororitas.

It's tough, grueling and strict, with the intent of basically indoctrinating the students into being religiously fanatical and righteously zealous.

 Psienesis wrote:
On a more general idea, what we view as high school doesn't really exist in the 40K setting. Given its English origins, the age-of-adulthood in the Imperium commonly seems to be 16, and most Imperial citizens receive only a very basic primary education (like, grade school) at the most, and the rest they learn as apprentices in some sort of craft or trade.

The closest thing to a recognizable school environment they have is the Schola Progenium, which is like a religious military school cranked up to 11. Pretty sure I don't have to say anything about English military schools to illustrate the point. It is from these schools that the vast bulk of the Administratum and the Clergy arise, as well as Commissars, Storm Troopers and the Adepta Sororitas.

It's tough, grueling and strict, with the intent of basically indoctrinating the students into being religiously fanatical and righteously zealous.

That's kind of what the joke is. This would never actually happen in 40k, just like that Real World 40k webcomics would never happen. But is it such a funny image to take all of the nonsense of high school and mix it with all of the nonsense of 40k.

So how would Scrumball differ from Blood Bowl? I understand that rugby is pretty brutal anyways, with Blood Bowl being nine kinds of ridiculous. Are they basically the same thing? Would Blood Bowl be somehow worse?

This reminds me of a thread I read back on the official GW forums a very long time ago to design a 40k Blood Bowl alternative. They ended up with the Harlequins inviting all races to compete in a space-basketball tournament with the grand prize being a webway map.

It's 40k, you could come up with all sorts of crazy sports and just assume they exist somewhere. No two planets are alike, after all.
Similarly, it's very likely schools would differ depending on the planet. Age of maturity would as well.

Personally, I'd consider two approaches:
- either taking a modern day sport and "grimdark" it (as was done with football -> blood bowl), or
- looking back in real world history and revitalise a sport that used to be popular, but fell out of favour because it was too violent

Gladiatorial combat would be an obvious example for the latter, but I've recently read of another in the Shadowrun novel "Blood Sport", where the nation of Aztlan had revived the ancient game they called "court ball". Here is a short description, but I'm sure you can easily find other "interesting" games by looking at various civilisations/nations of the past.

Psienesis wrote:The closest thing to a recognizable school environment they have is the Schola Progenium, which is like a religious military school cranked up to 11. Pretty sure I don't have to say anything about English military schools to illustrate the point. It is from these schools that the vast bulk of the Administratum and the Clergy arise, as well as Commissars, Storm Troopers and the Adepta Sororitas.
It's tough, grueling and strict, with the intent of basically indoctrinating the students into being religiously fanatical and righteously zealous.

I like to use Nazi Germany's "Napola" academies as a real world example of how daily life in a Schola could look like, just with Ministorum priests instead of SS officers.

That being said, what OP describes sounds more like a satirical mishmash between the real world and 40k, so the Schola may not be the best example. Not even the version presented in the Cain novels, where - unlike in Codex fluff - there is no gender segregation.

On a sidenote, the comparison of Sororitas to cheerleaders makes me cringe a little, even though it may be the most obvious approximation in a comedy setting .. according to the internets.

 Lynata wrote:

On a sidenote, the comparison of Sororitas to cheerleaders makes me cringe a little, even though it may be the most obvious approximation in a comedy setting .. according to the internets.

I had a more horrifying vision that made infinitely more sense in some ways. Space marines are in frats (individual chapters and hence the greek letters or similar like with the ultramarines) whereas all the convents are a bunch of sorority sisters and they all get drunk and do stupid stuff and get it on. Wouldn't be surprised to see some sororitas/sorority sisters flashing boobs on a landspeeder with marines. Yeah I kind of buried that idea because it'd make 40k way too douchey. Also infinitely more sororitas would get drawn in a sexual way.

More on topic gladiatorial roman theaters sound awesome in the 40k universe. The dark eldar wyches do it all the time. I think I also saw something crazy with a hoverball once in some show or game (probably wasn't blitz ball from final fantasy but I can't be sure).

Can we pretend for a second this game is like 'running man'? Perhaps some crazy 40k noble also hunts peasants for fun. I think I heard of that somewhere before in 40k.

Perhaps some crazy 40k noble also hunts peasants for fun. I think I heard of that somewhere before in 40k.

That's Necromunda.

That's kind of what the joke is. This would never actually happen in 40k, just like that Real World 40k webcomics would never happen. But is it such a funny image to take all of the nonsense of high school and mix it with all of the nonsense of 40k.

In that case, it would all depend on how 40K you wanted to make a high school as to who would go where. Shoot, you could probably divide most high school cliques up into just Space Marine variants, especially if you used the First Founding Legions and/or the Primarchs.

 Lynata wrote:
On a sidenote, the comparison of Sororitas to cheerleaders makes me cringe a little, even though it may be the most obvious approximation in a comedy setting .. according to the internets.

The example I was going with was a Sororita who was also a cheerleader, but I'm glad to see others running with the idea themselves.

Regarding Space Marines, I was probably going to keep things mostly Imperial, just to keep things realistic (if I can even say that anymore). Space Marines just get silly, and knowing my players, they'll want to get hyper aggressive and kill gak. That's not really what I'm going for. And I have no idea how to deal with xenos, aside from the ever hilarious Orks (who perhaps show up at the school and proceed to make everyone uncomfortable).

So I love the idea of a straight up gladiator thing. That'd be pretty entertainingly macabre in a high school setting. Also stealing Shadowrun's messed up sports. Didn't even think of those. I also imagine there will be some degree of military competition (things like the biathlon, but probably way more screwed up). And the Spyrer hunt could basically be frosh week (the most senior students almost literally preying on the new students). Good idea, folks.

flamingkillamajig wrote:Can we pretend for a second this game is like 'running man'?

I think this is a great idea for a "40k game" - it totally suits the setting. The "players" could be penitents, perhaps?

Psienesis wrote:That's Necromunda.

Oh, yeah. Spyrers!

ScooterinAB wrote:The example I was going with was a Sororita who was also a cheerleader, but I'm glad to see others running with the idea themselves.

It's a cliché independent of the IP, I think - that of there only being three main types of people on a high school. Every girl is a cheerleader, and every boy is either a nerd or a football star.

ScooterinAB wrote:Regarding Space Marines, I was probably going to keep things mostly Imperial, just to keep things realistic (if I can even say that anymore). Space Marines just get silly, and knowing my players, they'll want to get hyper aggressive and kill gak. That's not really what I'm going for. And I have no idea how to deal with xenos, aside from the ever hilarious Orks (who perhaps show up at the school and proceed to make everyone uncomfortable).

I'm tempted to argue that Sororitas are just as aggressive and silly as Space Marines, but I've got a feeling that your group may just picture them on an entirely different level.

I blame Black Library and FFG.

 dementedwombat wrote:
This reminds me of a thread I read back on the official GW forums a very long time ago to design a 40k Blood Bowl alternative. They ended up with the Harlequins inviting all races to compete in a space-basketball tournament with the grand prize being a webway map.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9FImc2LOr8

Space Marines just get silly, and knowing my players, they'll want to get hyper aggressive and kill gak.

Remember, though, that it's generally pre-adolescents who get to become Space Marines, some recruited as young as seven or eight years of age. So in a HS setting, it could be that your "Space Marines" are those super-talented kids who get jumped up a few grades... and now it's in the territory of an Orson Scott Card story, but, eh.

Lasertag.

With hotshot lasguns

Bloodbowl perhaps?

DEFINITELY NazKar

 Lynata wrote:
- either taking a modern day sport and "grimdark" it (as was done with football -> blood bowl)

Blood Bowl is all you want but not grimdark. It is full of comic mischief and comedy and tongue-in-cheek.

 Lynata wrote:
- looking back in real world history and revitalise a sport that used to be popular, but fell out of favour because it was too violent

Like this or that? Or anything from here?

 Lynata wrote:
On a sidenote, the comparison of Sororitas to cheerleaders makes me cringe a little, even though it may be the most obvious approximation in a comedy setting .. according to the internets.

High schools tend to lack religious extremists. Maybe in America they have those “purity league” like in the movie Teeth that could somehow fit the bill?

Ascalam wrote:Lasertag.
With hotshot lasguns

Come to think of it, the 1st Starship Troopers movie had a neat exercise of that kind.

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:Blood Bowl is all you want but not grimdark. It is full of comic mischief and comedy and tongue-in-cheek.

Well, like Orks as a whole - until you're actually facing them instead of just watching from invincible observer perspective, I'd say.

As for the list, I was thinking more about sports where humans are put in mortal danger, but beastfighting could qualify, as would boxing with bare hands.

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:High schools tend to lack religious extremists. Maybe in America they have those “purity league” like in the movie Teeth that could somehow fit the bill?

From my experience, whenever the fandom depicts Sororitas in a satirical setting, the only thing they still have in common with the original faction is the haircut, the gender, and the fleur-de-lis tattoo. So ... meh.

I'm not under any illusions here ever since the idea of cheerleaders was thrown into the room.

 Lynata wrote:
Well, like Orks as a whole - until you're actually facing them instead of just watching from invincible observer perspective, I'd say.

That is kind of like saying Roadrunner and Wile Coyote is grimdark because Coyote get hurt bad!

 Lynata wrote:
As for the list, I was thinking more about sports where humans are put in mortal danger,

This list includes tons of sport where human are put in mortal dangers.

 Lynata wrote:
From my experience, whenever the fandom depicts Sororitas in a satirical setting, the only thing they still have in common with the original faction is the haircut, the gender, and the fleur-de-lis tattoo. So ... meh.

Not true. They quite often keep their pyromania!

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:That is kind of like saying Roadrunner and Wile Coyote is grimdark because Coyote get hurt bad!

Only if you think slavery and forced labour are absolutely hilarious.

I get what you're trying to say, but I don't agree with your focus on graphic violence alone, and complete dismissal of the background.
That, and there are different levels of graphic violence. I'm pretty sure Roadrunner would have a different rating if it showed blood and gore, and feature different coyotes rather than the same one "respawning" every time.

But if you want to grimdark childhood comics up ... never fear, the internet has you covered!

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:This list includes tons of sport where human are put in mortal dangers.

The majority, including the two examples you pointed out, seems to be about helpless animals, hence I wanted to clarify what I meant earlier.

High schools tend to lack religious extremists. Maybe in America they have those “purity league” like in the movie Teeth that could somehow fit the bill?

We had the FCA that completely ran the school like a mafia back in my day, but I was in Kansas so there's that. Imagine biblical numbers quotes graffiti'd everywhere and school staff smiling and shaking their heads thinking "What good kids!".

I could see a grim dark HS setting where the Sororitas or the male equivalent functioned as a sort of hyped up social clique in and among the less "chosen".

As far as sports go for a tongue-in-cheek RPG, you could do a laser-tag-like game that has less-than-lethal consequences. If this is in the DH setting, it could be that, through some techno-arcane means, the lasers can only deal up to -5 Criticals (which can still be pretty nasty, just not fatal.... though to a high school student, the humiliation of getting defeated in lasertag, especially by a girl (or a boy, depending) might be a fate worse than death.)

- Baseball, but the bats are chainswords and the ball is a skull.
- Soccer, but the ball is a skull.
- Football, but the ball is an oblong-shaped skull.
- Basketball, but the ball is a servo skull with an anti-grav generator to facilitate dribbling.
- Rugby, but everyone has knives and the ball is a skull.
- Lacrosse, but the ball is a skull and instead of being thrown with a lacrosse stick, it's launched ballistically via a Basilisk.
- Tennis, but the ball is a very tiny skull.
- Golf, but the ball is a yet smaller skull and there are entire worlds converted to golf courses to facilitate the sport. Chiefly enjoyed by officers of the Astroturf Militarum.

 Lynata wrote:
I get what you're trying to say, but I don't agree with your focus on graphic violence alone, and complete dismissal of the background.

I am not. Things can be grimdark without any kind of graphic violence (say, extremely dystopian world where nobody even get to rebel), or slapstick comedy even with tons of graphic violence (say, Blood Bowl with those chainsaws ).
The Doom comics, or anything with Deadpool are good examples of extreme graphic violence but not grimdark at all.


And I think torturing and murdering helpless (or not-so-helpless) mutants have a place in an Imperium-like setting . Mutant-pulling? You light need a chainsword, but that would not be a problem .

PolecatEZ wrote:

High schools tend to lack religious extremists. Maybe in America they have those “purity league” like in the movie Teeth that could somehow fit the bill?

We had the FCA that completely ran the school like a mafia back in my day, but I was in Kansas so there's that. Imagine biblical numbers quotes graffiti'd everywhere and school staff smiling and shaking their heads thinking "What good kids!".

I could see a grim dark HS setting where the Sororitas or the male equivalent functioned as a sort of hyped up social clique in and among the less "chosen".

I had forgotten about the FCA...

Ironic that I am going to my HS 20 year reunion this weekend.

You could place the thing in a Cadian military academy.

Have their big sporting event be a straight up war game that takes place over several days.

You could have cliques that take the form of potential psykers, officer's children, children who wan to become Mechanicus adepts, and children who have been "tagged" by apothecaries as potential candidates for the Astartes (depending on their performance in the academy of course).

PolecatEZ wrote:
We had the FCA that completely ran the school like a mafia back in my day, but I was in Kansas so there's that. Imagine biblical numbers quotes graffiti'd everywhere and school staff smiling and shaking their heads thinking "What good kids!".

I missed that. What is the FCA?

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
I missed that. What is the FCA?

Just type FCA into the googles, its the first 10-15 things that pop up. We had more creative appications for that acronym. It might be a very good plot hook for a WH40K high school parody, as xenos would relate to the non-heterosexual, heretics would relate to the atheistic, and witches would relate to non-traditionally minded girls (in our high school, this translated to "didn't want to be pregnant by age 17").

If you wanted to expand such a concept past the OP's idea of sports, there's a lot of social commentary that could be brought into the entire 40k universe that I think the books really don't spend a lot of time exploring, being necessarily apolitical, other than "everything is cruel". The various Star Wars extended universe series did it in a very ham-fisted way - being kept to about a 3rd-grader's understanding of politics - but 40k offers a more mature premise to build on.

PolecatEZ wrote:
Just type FCA into the googles, its the first 10-15 things that pop up.

Not in France. I get some thermal isolation company, the Fédération du commerce associée (associated trade federation), some rugby club, Free Carrier, Financial Conduct Authority, …
Further research gave me this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fellowship_of_Christian_Athletes . Is that it?

PolecatEZ wrote:
It might be a very good plot hook for a WH40K high school parody, as xenos would relate to the non-heterosexual, heretics would relate to the atheistic, and witches would relate to non-traditionally minded girls (in our high school, this translated to "didn't want to be pregnant by age 17").!

Our French high school are shinning beacons of Chaos, then, I guess .
Who wants to get pregnant by 17 ?

Depressingly a LOT of english/american schoolgirls.

Or failing that they are too dim to avoid it

My school when i was growing up was this way, and when i moved to America years back it was/is much the same here.

In the little town my wife lived in as a teenager the two preferred occupations were lumberjack and waitress, with a side order of pregnant/barefoot for the waitress. Small dead-end logging community with rather *cough* old-fashioned views on religion and male dominance. Thankfully she wasn't there for long.