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Granted. You can have my 5 sets of Cards Against Humanity Literal Bull**** edition.

I wish to finish the Frostgrave table this Sunday evening.

Granted, it looks terrible.

I wish Nintendo would become a software only company.

Granted. But they only make software for their machines, which are in short supply.

I wish for some more supper.

Granted. That supper comes in a box of Cards Against Humanity: Literal Bull**** edition.

I wish I was a more able cook.

Granted, but you don't have any ingrediants, so your skills are useless.

I wish Tamiya would stop releasing Italeri reboxes from the 80s in the UK.

Granted, but the prices are so obscenely high that you cannot afford them.

I wish that it wasn't snowing so much in Michigan.

Granted. Michigan has a massive Ice Storm instead.

I wish i did not have to help my brother in law move tomorrow.

Granted, you have to help him move today.

I wish I knew where Noobomb went.

Granted, you know exactly where he went, but he still doesn't come back.

I wish I didn't have to get up so early tomorrow.

Granted. You have to get up so early its still today. And you're already late.

I wish for warmer weather.

Granted, but it is so hot you're sweating nonstop

I wish my sisters would get home earlier for the Holidays

Granted, they leave even sooner too.

I wish for a lovely mechanical pencil.

Granted. It jams up immediately.

I wish to quit smoking cigars.

Granted, you develop an addiction to cigarettes instead.

I wish I could sculpt better.

Granted, but the price of materials skyrockets

I wish for a piece of cake

Granted, it is covered in spiders.

I wish for a brain.

Granted, it is the brain of Justin Bieber

I wish for a heart.

Granted. But first you must bring me the broomstick of the "king of Pop".

I wish for some courage.

Granted, you courageously run to your death.

I wish for a pair of magic shoes.

Granted. You try them on, a perfect fit, only to discover they are Magic Shoes of Devouring, and cannot be removed without a high level Cleric's assistance.

I wish to command some Flying Monkeys.

Granted, but the only command they listen to is the command to drop you off a cliff.

I wish for a nice hat.

Granted, you get crushed by a house.

I wish for all this Wizard of Oz malarkey to end.

Granted, you are abducted by flying monkeys

I wish for the AOS hate to end

Granted, 40k hate intensifies.

I wish to be entertained.

Granted, you are entertained by Jersey Shore

I wish that I had the money to buy the BaC set.

Granted, you then post it to me.

I wish GW character models weren't ridiculously overpriced.

Granted, every model but the characters are ridiculously overpriced.

I wish that Guard would get a decent update soon

Granted. Guard are now part of the Tau empire.

I wish to not help my wife's brother move all weekend, so I can get some painting done.

Granted, your Wife's Brother doesn't stop pestering you about it all weekend.

I wish I didn't have to cook for my brothers annoying friends.

Granted. They eat you instead.

I wish I had brought my book along.