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Granted. Your primer works perfectly, but the glistening white models shake your confidence. You can never bring yourself to mar such primed perfection.

I wish my buddies and I could organize a day to game together.

Granted, but just before you leave for the gaming you are forced to go on a bunch of errands and you cannot attend.

I wish I didn't have so many issues

Granted. The only issue you have is that you are falling off the top of a 75 story building.

I wish to regain my compulsion for terrain.

Granted. You can't resist terrain. You need it. Have to paint it. Your life becomes terrain to the exclusion of all else. You sell everything to afford your addiction. You spend your days filling buckets with sand, rocks, and twigs to make more terrain.

I wish coffee actually worked at keeping me awake.

Granted. It keeps you awake 4 hours later after consumption. Much like cocaine you also are going to need more and more of it to work.

I wish I had a mint.

Granted, you have one mint. It is the only one left in the world and there are a bunch of people outside who are willing to kill you for it.

I wish I had a life.

Granted. You find yourself constantly on the club scene, dancing every night, taking home a new stranger everyday, and trying new pills and chemicals to keep you wired. After several months you think back with fondness to your more simple lifestyle, but you get up out of bed at 3pm and get ready to sell some "E" to high school kids so you can pay your rent.

I wish new motors weren't so expensive.

Granted. You can pick one up anywhere for a few Quid. Finding one that works, however, is a bit more expensive.

I wish I had some good rockets again.

Granted, you find a good rocket, but it's only good at flinging you into the sun

Granted, you get a wish that goes horribly awry.

I wish UPS didnt hold packages on 3-day shipping to actually make them arrive on the third day, but earlier if possible.

Granted. They come banging on the door at Two AM and they aren't too happy about it.

I wish Mantic Games would not make promises it cannot keep.

Granted, they make no promises and never release any new products.

I wish more people would play 40k

Granted. Niantic rolls out 40k Go! where everyone uses their phone to collect space marine variants. it's surprisingly popular.

I wish I hadn't slept in this morning.

Granted. You slept out. In the Sahara desert.

I wish I knew what that noise was.

Granted. You know that the noise is coming from your ass, and its getting louder.

I wish there had been more fireworks this evening.

Granted. A H'watcha is aimed at your house and ready to unload 100+ fireworks into your front room.

I wish diseases were enjoyable.

Granted. May you have every disease in the world that makes you look like an absolute abomination

I wish for true love

Granted. Your dog humps your leg.

I wish for Frostgrave victories.

Granted. Too bad no one plays Frostgrave.

I wish I had my own accomplished dojo.

Granted. You are the master of the Dishwashing Dojo. Students come from far and wide to learn the secrets of your spot-free rinse.

I wish I had not slaughtered my Frostgrave Opponent's war band quite so thoroughly.

Granted. Too bad he slaughtered yours with pride.

I wish I could actually draw.

Granted. You draw all the right cards, with all the wrong synergies

I wish I could paint faster

Granted. But in order to paint faster, you rush your paint jobs and everything looks horrible.

I wish my phone wouldn't run out of battery so quickly.

Granted. But it never stops ringing.

I wish for a bigger phone.

Granted. It's the size of a car

I wish for longer legs so I don't get so easily tired

Granted. But now your shoes keep coming untied, and you can't reach your feet.

I wish for free lunches at work more often.

Granted. But now you don't get breakfast or dinner.

I wish for a more comfortable bed.

Granted, but it's so damn comfortable, you never leave it. Like ever

I wish that DOW3 will be very good

Granted. What even is a DOW anyway?

I wish I could change the world.

Granted. Large dogs now rule the planet.

I wish I had some Milk Bones in my pockets.