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Yes as you can see from the Santa hat avatars it's that time of year again.
Whether you're celebrating Christmas or one of the lesser holidays that cluster in its mighty wake this is the time of good cheer, celebration and taking stock of the old year as it passes.
One of our traditions here at Dakka is to cluster around the flamer and hear our annual reading of Patrick Marstall's classic poem.
The Night Before 986996.M41
by Patrick Marstall (MarstallP@bah.com)
'Twas the night before 986996.M41, and all through the station
All there was clear, there was no abomination.
My helmet was set on the desk to my right,
On the chance that I was to need it that night.
The guardsmen were ensconced, asleep in their beds,
All the tanks too were safe, secure in the sheds.
Marines in the barracks, some manning the wall,
Assured me that the bastion never would fall.
When out in the yard there arose such discord
I grabbed up my bolter and unsheathed my sword.
Away to the window, I ran to take aim
As the marines around me all did the same.
My bionic eye turned the night into day
Allowed me to see, and to seek out my prey.
When what did my loyalist ocular show,
But an ancient conveyance, knee-deep in the snow.
The vehicle was pulled by horned quadrupeds
And a fiery red nimbus glowed from the sled.
The driver was mighty, his eyes full of scorn,
Dressed all in crimson like a servant of Khorne.
I gestured for other to shoot without pause,
For I was now certain this was Santa Claus.
"Fire Marines! Fire Guardsmen! Fire Ogryn and Ratlings!
Fire bolters! Fire lasguns! Fire mortars and gatlings!"
"You in the courtyard and you men on the walls!
Now blast away! Blast away! Blast away all!"
But all through this maelstrom the evil one flew,
Past plasma and bolt shells and frag that we threw!
And then, to my horror, I heard on the roof
The vile cavorting of each decadent hoof.
Screaming my orders, I spun quickly around,
As down the chimney shaft it came with a bound.
I saw its eyes glow, its vast stomach gurgle,
Bloated and fat, like a deamon of Nurgle.
Blinded by anger, I attacked with a scream -
Charged into battle with my brave space marines.
As we thundered towards him, closing the rift,
He reached in his satchel and pulled out a gift.
Then it tossed the vile boxes - I fell in a stoop,
As they arced through the air at me and my troops.
The wrapped missiles fell short, and plopped at our feet,
Our morale was quite strong, we did not retreat.
But the marines paused - our charge was disrupted,
They picked up the gifts and were quickly corrupted.
For each box contained a chaotic present -
The marines (damn their souls), found them quite pleasant.
A bolter, a flamer, a new power fist,
The Claus gave to all, and he checked off a list.
It moved through the station and left in its wake,
The sound of bright laughter and the stench of fruitcake.
The others succumbed, but it failed in its goal,
For to me it gave only a small pile of coal.
The station was lost, I could only instruct
The bastion computer to set self-destruct.
I failed to kill him, for I saw as I fled,
The target escaping, quite safe in his sled.
I heard it cry out as the base burst into light,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/12/05 03:31:29
BlaxicanX wrote: A young business man named Tom Kirby, who was a pupil of mine until he turned greedy, helped the capitalists hunt down and destroy the wargamers. He betrayed and murdered Games Workshop.
It is said that when the winter snows come, the youth of Fenris gather around the fire to hear aged skalds recite one of their ancient tales of bravery.
Spoiler:
The Saga of Bjorn the Fell Handed (sung to the tune of... oh you'll get it soon enough)
Bjorn the Fell-Handed was an ancient honored dread
With his lightning claw and his gattling gun and millennia in his head
Bjorn the Fell-Handed knew Leman Russ they say
He is that old and though his body's cold he will go to fight one day.
There must have been some magic in the old tech priest's hymn
For when he heard the ancient words, Bjorn's gun began to spin
Oh, Bjorn the Fell-Handed, was alive as he could be;
and the Blood Claws say he could roar and slay,
just the same as you and me.
Dakkity-dakk-dakk, Dakkity-dakk-dakk
Watch his cannon go!
Dakkity-dakk-dakk, Dakkity-dakk-dakk
Down the orks he'll mow!
Bjorn the Fell-Handed knew the times were grim that day,
so he said, "Let's go, and assault those foes before they get away."
Down to the battle, with power crackling in his hand,
Running here and there, all around the square,
sayin', "Assault me if you dare."
He led them down the ruined town, right to the chaos lord;
and only paused a moment, before putting him to the sword!
But Bjorn the Fell-Handed, had to hurry on his way,
So he waved goodbye, sayin' "Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day."
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/12/05 04:12:32
Christmas? Bah, humbug. But in the spirit of snow and sleighs.....
-----------------------------------
Flying through the warp
We're going to save the day
Time to disembark
The eldar we will slay
Chainswords they will roar
Making craftworlds die
What fun it is to hack and slice
Deepstrike from on high
Bolter shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
Bolter Shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
A century ago
A saga I did tell
A trickster we all know
Accompanied as well
The thunderhawk was gone
We'd stolen with the keys
We crashed into the brewery
And took off with the mead
Bolter shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
Bolter Shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
A century ago
A saga I did tell
Angron said hello
And brought with him his hell
Dark Angels passed me by
In a flying floating sleigh
They cared not if i live or die
And quickly flew away
Bolter shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
Bolter Shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
Now the orks are green
Attack them really fast
The big ones aren't so mean
Their courage never lasts
Just get a fenris wolf
Twelve inches as his speed
Hitch him to a floating sleigh
And crack! you'll take the lead
Bolter shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
Bolter Shells, bolter shells
Blow them all away
Oh what fun is rapid fire
From Logan Grimnar's sleigh
"Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see.
One chants out between two worlds: Fire, walk with me." - Twin Peaks
"You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method... is love. I love you Sheriff Truman." - Twin Peaks
Two lightning claws,
And One Emperor on a Golden Throne
On the Third day of Christmas
Trazyn stole from me:
Three Killa Kans
Two Lightning Claws
And One Emperor on a Golden Throne.
(shouldn't we at least try to rhyme with the original version? :p )
"Fear is freedom! Subjugation is liberation! Contradiction is truth! These are the truths of this world! Surrender to these truths, you pigs in human clothing!" - Satsuki Kiryuin, Kill la Kill
If we finish this, I will record myself singing and post it on facbook for the entire world to laugh at.
on the fifth day of christmas trazyn stole from me,
five terminators,
four ratlins snipers,
three killa kans,
two lightning claws,
and an emperor on a golden throne.
I love this dakka dakka tradition, have a exalt sir!
on the sixth day of christmas trazyn stole from me,
six rough riders
five terminators,
four ratlins snipers,
three killa kans,
two lightning claws,
and an emperor on a golden throne.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/12/06 02:57:12
On the eighth day of Christmas, Trazyn stole from me...
Eight Khorne Berzerkers
Seven Wave Serpents
Six Rough Riders
Five Terminators
Four Ratling Snipers
Three Killa Kans
Two Lightning Claws
and an Emperor on a Golden Throne...
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/12/06 05:51:37
On the ninth day of Christmas, Trazyn stole from me...
Nine Battle Sisters
Eight Khorne Berzerkers
Seven Wave Serpents
Six Rough Riders
Five Terminators
Four Ratling Snipers
Three Killa Kans
Two Lightning Claws
and an Emperor on a Golden Throne...
On the tenth day of Christmas, Trazyn stole from me...
Ten Objective Markers
Nine Battle Sisters
Eight Khorne Berzerkers
Seven Wave Serpents
Six Rough Riders
Five Terminators
Four Ratling Snipers
Three Killa Kans
Two Lightning Claws
and an Emperor on a Golden Throne...
Merry Grimnas Dakka.
Pretre: OOOOHHHHH snap. That's like driving away from hitting a pedestrian.
Pacific:First person to Photoshop a GW store into the streets of Kabul wins the thread.
Selym: "Be true to thyself, play Chaos" - Jesus, Daemon Prince of Cegorach.
H.B.M.C: You can't lobotomise someone twice.
On the Eleventh day of Christmas Trazyn stole from me
Eleven Leman Russes
Ten Objective Markers
Nine Battle Sisters
Eight Khorne Berzerkers
Seven Wave Serpents
Six Rough Riders
Five Terminators
Four Ratling Snipers
Three Killa Kans
Two Lightning Claws
and an Emperor on a Golden Throne...
On the Twelth day of Christmas Trazyn stole from me
Twelve Dakka Flyrants
Eleven Leman Russes
Ten Objective Markers
Nine Battle Sisters
Eight Khorne Berzerkers
Seven Wave Serpents
Six Rough Riders
Five Terminators
Four Ratling Snipers
Three Killa Kans
Two Lightning Claws
and an Emperor on a Golden Throne...
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/12/08 11:27:00
Peregrine - If you like the army buy it, and don't worry about what one random person on the internet thinks.
When Hive Fleet Behemoth closed its tendrils on Ultramar Ultramarines and their successor chapters were recalled from across the galaxy, abandoning allies, fortresses and battles to return to a home some of them had not seen for centuries.
As they left they sang this mournful dirge.
I Will Fight the Hive Fleet (sung to the tune of, don't worry you'll get it)
I will fight the hive fleet
You can count on me
Please have guns
and ammo, tons
And guardsmen who won't flee
Dawn of War will find me
Where the plasma streams
I will fight the hive fleet
You will hear my screams
Can't even remember the last time I was on DakkDakka for something, but my friend linked me to this post and I thought it would be fun so I rewrote Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer since its nice and short.
You know Abbaddon and Ahriman and Huron
and Fulgrim,
Fabius and Typhus and Cypher and Mortarion,
But do you recall?
The Most Bad-Ass Marine of All?
Kharn the Blood-Drenched Berserker,
Had a very gory axe,
And if you ever saw it,
You would really say it hacks,
All of the other Marines,
Used to tremble and die in spades,
They never let poor Kharn,
Maim in any Black Crusades,
Then one crimson-misty eve,
Khorne came and said,
Kharn with your lust to fight,
Won't you lead my charge tonight?
Then all the Marines feared him,
As their heads exploded in gore,
Kharn the Blood-Drenched Berserker,
You've killed over a million in lore!
One I wrote two years ago at 1am, and haven't really bothered altering, so I'm just going to copy/paste it over:
Corpses roasting on an open pyre
Tyr’nids nipping at your throat
Witches being cleansed in holy fire
And Orks dressed up in old thin clothes
Ev'rybody here’s a xeno and all of them are foes
Help to make this one good fight
Tiny grots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to last the night
They know that slaughter’s on the way
With loaded guns and stuff with which to slay
And ev'ry sorry mutha’s gonna die
For to see their race’s flags held high
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
From Codex Astartes: Section Two
Although it's been said many times, many ways,
"For Him we come to kill you."
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
40k Orks 12000 points and growing
Ultramarines 2500
Necrons 4000
6000 pts - 
4000 pts - Harlies: 1000 pts - 
1000 pts
Ultramarines, 3rd Co. and friends, 16k+ 
4k 
2k Points
Waaagh an' a 'alf
1500 Pts WIP 