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Made in us
Heroic Senior Officer





Western Kentucky

Title is pretty self explanatory, anyone who has played this game for more than a few weeks has discovered certain phrases that are pretty much guaranteed to cause suffering. While some fools think that there's no way one could curse themselves through simple phrases, the more experienced players know better. Some are so notorious you can see players wince the moment they're uttered, all too familiar with what's going to happen next.

The classic of course being "all I need to do is not roll X". X usually being a 1 or failing a super high leadership. Obviously the more improbable the roll is and the heavier it's impact is, the more likely the statement comes to be. So for example, player is rolling a terminator save 2+. If it's a generic terminator squad member the odds are still kind of low, but lets say that terminator was your captain who is holding the relic and the point for slay the warlord will shift the game? Then you may as well just remove him now.

Another classic standby is "There's only like a 1/18 chance that guardsman with a lasgun could kill my sarge, I think I'll be ok," and it's many variations. The more knowledgeable the player is on the odds he has, the worse the aftermath. Especially cruel if the player has actually taken the time to do the math on said incident.

The third common mistake I usually hear, especially among new players, is something along the lines of "I have like 5 different things that can kill that model, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine." Because that's when guardsman bob makes twelve 6+ gone to ground saves.

There are also the old phobias like having to call missile launchers rocket launchers, because if you call them a missile launcher they'll miss


So with that in mind, what are your favorite doomed phrases you've heard? I'm always amazed, in all my travels, just how universal they feel and the reactions to them as well, but I'm curious to see if anyone has some particular favorites that I'm missing here.


'I've played Guard for years, and the best piece of advice is to always utilize the Guard's best special rule: "we roll more dice than you" ' - stormleader

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Made in us
Missionary On A Mission



Eastern VA

Mine is having a handful of dice with high probability of success. Doesn't matter if I say something that ought to jinx me or not. "Ok, so, there's a Hive Tyrant with one wound left, and I'm firing at it with four dual burst cannon Crisis Suits. It's toast!" Roll, giant pile of 1s and 2s. "Or, that could happen." Tyrant charges, I whiff with Overwatch, take a wound, do nothing in return, get swept.

But the next turn, I toss a lone snapshot from a retreating Fire Warrior at the Tyrant and kill it. Of course.

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Made in ca
Longtime Dakkanaut





"Hahaha, I'll just do this because I have nothing better to do. I'd have to get the perfect roll to even do anything!"

 Galef wrote:
If you refuse to use rock, you will never beat scissors.
 
   
Made in us
Auspicious Aspiring Champion of Chaos






Best one I've seen wasn't in 40k, but actually in a D&D 5E game I was playing. My druid was down. For those who aren't familiar with 5E, when a character is reduced below 0 HP, he/she has to roll a d20 one his turn. 10+ is a success. You stabilize after 3 successes, you die after 3 failures. a "20" counts as 2 successes, a "1" counts as 2 failures. I had already passed 2 death saving throws and failed 1. I needed one more success to stabilize, but the group's paladin would be able to reach me next turn and heal me.

Me: "Well as long as I don't roll a "1", I'll be good".

Dice Gods: "FOOLISH MORTAL!!! TASTE OUR WRATH!!!!!"

I tossed it up in the air as I often do to build tension on important rolls. Apparently, the fall transferred all inertia to the table. It never rolled over. The die didn't even freaking bounce. Just a "1". Brutal.

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Made in us
Dark Angels Librarian with Book of Secrets






Not in 40k but happened over the weekend with my wife. Playing Betrayal at House on the Hill, she picked up an item called "Dark Dice". It lets you do different things, but a roll of blanks on every dice drops every stat to right above death.

My wife wanted to use it right away, but I said "Don't, you could roll all blanks and fail". Guess what she rolled.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/10/25 20:42:23


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Made in ca
Hellacious Havoc





 MrMoustaffa wrote:
There are also the old phobias like having to call missile launchers rocket launchers, because if you call them a missile launcher they'll miss



This is so true... so very true.... I have a particular Scout Sentinel armed with a MISSile Launcher. LOL
   
Made in us
Journeyman Inquisitor with Visions of the Warp




Have any of guys played a lot of the new XCOM? A 90% chance to hit has me squirming when there's serious consequences to failure.

Rolling a 1 is about 17%. That's horrible!

Anyway, wherever probability lurks, no one is safe...

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2016/10/25 23:47:47


 
   
Made in us
Keeper of the Flame





Monticello, IN

"Anythiing but a 1" is pretty universal.

I have two jinx theories for my armies. If a model is on its first tabletop after I finished painting it, it will die quickly without doing anything of effect in the game. Also, I won't let my opponent touch my dice. At all. My friend Joe was playing against me with a Mycetic Swarm army and he didn't bring his own dice. He pulled at least one of every color out of my pile, and for the rest of the game I rolled no higher than 3's except for LD checks which were boxcars. Since then, I keep a red measuring stick next to my dice. I rarely measure it, but I WILL bring it across the knuckles of anyone trying to touch my dice after I've told them about my paranoid conspiracy.

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Made in us
Stalwart Veteran Guard Sergeant





USA

Usually in my case it's the opposite. It's usually something along the lines of "Ok, I've got 30 hits from lasguns on this demon prince that has 1 wound left. All I need to do is roll one 6 and he'll have a good chance of dying."

That's when the dice gods get mad and I roll 1-5 on all 30 dice with no 6's.

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Made in gb
Dakka Veteran




SpookyRuben wrote:
 MrMoustaffa wrote:
There are also the old phobias like having to call missile launchers rocket launchers, because if you call them a missile launcher they'll miss



This is so true... so very true.... I have a particular Scout Sentinel armed with a MISSile Launcher. LOL


That why you refer to them as Hittile launchers.
   
Made in us
Fresh-Faced New User




I run a necron army that often has Orikan and a lot of preferred enemy destroyers. (Reroll saving throws of 1, reroll hit of 1, reroll wound of 1)

My battlecry is "Anything but a a 2..."


   
Made in us
Krazed Killa Kan






I find myself calling bad rolls before they happen such as "watch 2 of these 4 plasma shots get hot". Basically if it happens at least I was right while if its a better result then I don't feel bad. If its worse then its a comically bad result which helps reduce the sting a bit.

"Hold my shoota, I'm goin in"
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Made in se
Alluring Sorcerer of Slaanesh






Reading, UK

It doesn't matter what I say, the opposite of what I need to do always happens. I perils so much I don't know why I bother taking psykers and a having a 2+ save doesn't mean jack. I do question why I play the game as it has got to the point where it's ridiculous. I don't know how to break my unluckiness either. Maybe take a rabbit with me, 4 feet are better than 1 right?

Please be a 2, please be a two results in a one. Oh, I just to need to roll that will also get under what I need. OOH, I could get that many will result in the lowest score possible.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/10/26 14:51:27


No pity, no remorse, no shoes 
   
Made in us
Inspiring SDF-1 Bridge Officer





Mississippi

"This'll be easy" is the one that always gets me.

That and "Unit so-and-so sucks, they aren't worth their points", to which they become MPV for the game.

It never ends well 
   
Made in au
Thinking of Joining a Davinite Loge






In BFG I was running Eldar, and my opponent had 1 ship left. I stood a serious chance of blowing off 2-5 HP with a squadron of Hemlocks, then finishing it with a Void Stalker, but had to fly through a dust cloud (Eldar have no shields, escorts 1HP. A 6=BOOM), had the gall to say 'I'd have to roll a six', and proceeded to roll 3, wrecking each escort and loosing when my Void Stalker took an Imperial Battery.

Worst rolls I've ever had.

My $0.02, which since 1992 has rounded to nothing. Take with salt.
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Made in us
Dark Angels Librarian with Book of Secrets






 Just Tony wrote:
"Anythiing but a 1" is pretty universal.

I have two jinx theories for my armies. If a model is on its first tabletop after I finished painting it, it will die quickly without doing anything of effect in the game. Also, I won't let my opponent touch my dice. At all. My friend Joe was playing against me with a Mycetic Swarm army and he didn't bring his own dice. He pulled at least one of every color out of my pile, and for the rest of the game I rolled no higher than 3's except for LD checks which were boxcars. Since then, I keep a red measuring stick next to my dice. I rarely measure it, but I WILL bring it across the knuckles of anyone trying to touch my dice after I've told them about my paranoid conspiracy.


I hesitate to call him a friend, but there's a guy at our LGS known for his bad dice rolling. He jokingly rolled one of my die before my game started and rolled a 1. I lost that game, badly. Since then, he is never allowed to touch my dice.

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Made in gb
Assassin with Black Lotus Poison





Bristol

To quote Terry Pratchett:
Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.


Also refer to the circular nature of improbability from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where something which is infinitely improbable is actually very likely to happen almost instantly.

In short, I try to never regard anything as too improbable to happen whilst at the same time never mentioning The Lady's name.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2016/10/26 15:19:08


The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.

Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut






I have a riptide who's cursed and or a masochist. He's managed to get snagged on clothes and fall off the table twice, has snapped off his base too (curse you spindly leg joints) and I've had a game where he did 4 wounds to himself and didn't fire his main weapon half the time because gets hots. He tends to burn his fingers every.time. Even when you don't nova charge him. I try to comvince myself I'm being superstitious and that's not very tau like of me, but still...

Also he once got tank shocked off the board by a rhino. 9_9
   
Made in gb
Humorless Arbite





Hull

 EnTyme wrote:
Best one I've seen wasn't in 40k, but actually in a D&D 5E game I was playing. My druid was down. For those who aren't familiar with 5E, when a character is reduced below 0 HP, he/she has to roll a d20 one his turn. 10+ is a success. You stabilize after 3 successes, you die after 3 failures. a "20" counts as 2 successes, a "1" counts as 2 failures. I had already passed 2 death saving throws and failed 1. I needed one more success to stabilize, but the group's paladin would be able to reach me next turn and heal me.

Me: "Well as long as I don't roll a "1", I'll be good".

Dice Gods: "FOOLISH MORTAL!!! TASTE OUR WRATH!!!!!"

I tossed it up in the air as I often do to build tension on important rolls. Apparently, the fall transferred all inertia to the table. It never rolled over. The die didn't even freaking bounce. Just a "1". Brutal.


I had a similar thing in a Dark Heresy game. Character spec'd entirely into fellowship. Charm/ Deceive +30 so I should be able to deceive people 90% of the time.

Multiple incidents of saying, 'It's alright, I've got this' *roll* FAIL .... 'Okay, I have a fate point, I'll re-roll, it's okay I can't fail this twice' *roll* 'OMGWTFBBQTIME'

   
Made in gb
Assassin with Black Lotus Poison





Bristol

 Otto Weston wrote:
 EnTyme wrote:
Best one I've seen wasn't in 40k, but actually in a D&D 5E game I was playing. My druid was down. For those who aren't familiar with 5E, when a character is reduced below 0 HP, he/she has to roll a d20 one his turn. 10+ is a success. You stabilize after 3 successes, you die after 3 failures. a "20" counts as 2 successes, a "1" counts as 2 failures. I had already passed 2 death saving throws and failed 1. I needed one more success to stabilize, but the group's paladin would be able to reach me next turn and heal me.

Me: "Well as long as I don't roll a "1", I'll be good".

Dice Gods: "FOOLISH MORTAL!!! TASTE OUR WRATH!!!!!"

I tossed it up in the air as I often do to build tension on important rolls. Apparently, the fall transferred all inertia to the table. It never rolled over. The die didn't even freaking bounce. Just a "1". Brutal.


I had a similar thing in a Dark Heresy game. Character spec'd entirely into fellowship. Charm/ Deceive +30 so I should be able to deceive people 90% of the time.

Multiple incidents of saying, 'It's alright, I've got this' *roll* FAIL .... 'Okay, I have a fate point, I'll re-roll, it's okay I can't fail this twice' *roll* 'OMGWTFBBQTIME'


Similar situation happened to a character in a Dresden Files game I was in. One of the characters was a Changeling (half-fairy kinda thing with glamour magic) who had built his character to be the talker of the group. We had just managed to fight off a vampire from feeding on a kid in his bedroom. He was obviously very scared and confused so the fairy decided to try and persuade the kid that he was just having a bad dream, throw in some illusions and all that jazz. He completely failed the roll. Then when he went to climb back out the window he failed that roll too and landed on his back on the roof of the car which was parked below, resulting in him paralysing himself.

We interpreted the rolls as his character walking backwards to the window whilst waving his arms in front of him whilst saying "It was all a dreeeeam" in a wobbly voice before falling out the window. We never let the character and player forget it.

That player often had awful luck with the dice when it came to not getting horribly injured.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/10/28 09:34:38


The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.

Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
 
   
Made in pl
Stalwart Veteran Guard Sergeant




Warsaw

"4+ is enough. I'm sure I'll make it".

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Made in us
Fresh-Faced New User




I have Dark Angels, and true to form, I carry a LOT of plasma. I always say, "No problem, I'd have to roll two consecutive ones for that guy to die." Ten seconds later, I'm always pulling him off the table.... I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut!

I also was in the very last turn of a 2000 point game, and the opponent was taking his very last shots at a terminator squad (The only thing in range of his last shooters.) I was up by one victory point, but he would get the kill point, and I would lose the objective if my termies got killed off., giving him the game by one point. I had three terminators left when he opened up the last volley of the game. He scored three wounds with bolters. He looked up and said, "Roll three saves" He was moving into position for the epic handshake while I said, "I just need one to win" and promptly rolled the only thing that could kill me,,, Three ones. I was known from that point on as, "Stevie Wonder in a Onesie!"

   
Made in us
Been Around the Block




Happened to me last night while playing Deathwatch Overkill.

I was on the mission where there's a U shaped first level map where one guy has to run around the U to get to the other two guys waiting on the lift. Then, once everyone is together, the marines are supposed to move to the other lower level board and escape through an exit.

I had the Blood Angel jump pack guy with the chainsword, the Terminator, and the Frag Cannon guy. The latter two were at the lift and the jump pack guy was trying to make it there. I kinda thought jump pack guy would die, but I got him to meet up with the others.

By this point there was an enormous amount of Genestealer stuff on the board, but the lower board was clear because I hadn't moved there yet. Jump pack dude and Frag Cannon guy went down the lift and started running for the exit. Terminator stayed up top blocking the way in a "None Shall Pass" moment to keep me from having to deal with any of the previously spawned Genestealers on the lower board. As to be expected, there were a lot of incoming attacks on my Termie, but I said, "He's got an armor save of 2+. He'll be fine."

Two hits later, and two consecutive armor save rolls of 1 in a row, my Termie was dead. I just facepalmed while my opponent laughed because my Termie got punked so hard. It was also incredibly gratifying for my opponent because that Termie had caused him a lot of grief in other missions.

My two other guys still got out, and I won, but that double armor save failure really stung.
   
Made in us
Leutnant





Louisville, KY, USA

It's happened often enough to me that, when TableTop Minions came out with their limited edition shirt, I bought two to wear just when gaming.

   
Made in us
Shas'o Commanding the Hunter Kadre




Olympia, WA

Doomed Phrase #226: "Do you want to concede now or play it out?"

Hoboy. That's guaranteed to get you your opponents A game.

Another doozy is Doomed Phrase# 33: Luckily I have reserves coming in"

Aw man. As soon as you say it...It won't be til turn 4. ugh!

Here's a personal favorite Doomed phrase #112 which is "So he only has one wound left, right?"

Hehehe. We all know where that's headed.

And lastly doomed phrase #42: "You're brave to take that army to a tournament".

Well... you asked for it.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/10/28 16:41:30


Hold out bait to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and then crush him.
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Made in us
Lone Wolf Sentinel Pilot






Whenever I'm going over my army (admech) and I come to my Onager Dunecrawler with the Neutron Laser, I say this: "And this is Crabby. He never does gak. Every time he hits something I roll low." Sure enough, every time I shoot a Rhino with it I roll a one, or I hit single models and roll a 1 to wound. Crabby never does anything, and yet he's always one of the last to die. Good thing he at least has his stubbers. I swear those do more than the Neutron Laser on average.
   
Made in ca
Regular Dakkanaut




Canada

All of these example are exactly what make this game fun. Without it. This game would be just a series of probabilities and people could just mathhammer before a game and say I win or I lose!

It's the no way is that gonna happen moments that stand out and are the highlights of each match!
   
Made in us
Shas'la with Pulse Carbine




I have a habit of saying - "anything but a 1" or "anything but 1's" and then I invariably roll numerous 1's

The curse is real. It feeds off negative energy. Working hard to say nothing!

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