The Night Before 986996.M41

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**Kid_Kyoto**

Thanksgiving has come and gone, black Friday is already forgotten, which means whether your celebrate Christmas or one of the lesser holidays that swim in its mighty wake, it is now officially the Holiday Season and, as is our habit here, time to gather round the fire for the annual reading of "The Night Before 986996.M41" a usenet era gem.

The Night Before 986996.M41

by Patrick Marstall (MarstallP@bah.com)

'Twas the night before 986996.M41, and all through the station
All there was clear, there was no abomination.

My helmet was set on the desk to my right,
On the chance that I was to need it that night.

The guardsmen were ensconced, asleep in their beds,
All the tanks too were safe, secure in the sheds.

Marines in the barracks, some manning the wall,
Assured me that the bastion never would fall.

When out in the yard there arose such discord
I grabbed up my bolter and unsheathed my sword.

Away to the window, I ran to take aim
As the marines around me all did the same.

My bionic eye turned the night into day
Allowed me to see, and to seek out my prey.

When what did my loyalist ocular show,
But an ancient conveyance, knee-deep in the snow.

The vehicle was pulled by horned quadrupeds
And a fiery red nimbus glowed from the sled.

The driver was mighty, his eyes full of scorn,
Dressed all in crimson like a servant of Khorne.

I gestured for other to shoot without pause,
For I was now certain this was Santa Claus.

"Fire Marines! Fire Guardsmen! Fire Ogryn and Ratlings!
Fire bolters! Fire lasguns! Fire mortars and gatlings!"

"You in the courtyard and you men on the walls!
Now blast away! Blast away! Blast away all!"

But all through this maelstrom the evil one flew,
Past plasma and bolt shells and frag that we threw!

And then, to my horror, I heard on the roof
The vile cavorting of each decadent hoof.

Screaming my orders, I spun quickly around,
As down the chimney shaft it came with a bound.

I saw its eyes glow, its vast stomach gurgle,
Bloated and fat, like a deamon of Nurgle.

Blinded by anger, I attacked with a scream -
Charged into battle with my brave space marines.

As we thundered towards him, closing the rift,
He reached in his satchel and pulled out a gift.

Then it tossed the vile boxes - I fell in a stoop,
As they arced through the air at me and my troops.

The wrapped missiles fell short, and plopped at our feet,
Our morale was quite strong, we did not retreat.

But the marines paused - our charge was disrupted,
They picked up the gifts and were quickly corrupted.

For each box contained a chaotic present -
The marines (damn their souls), found them quite pleasant.

A bolter, a flamer, a new power fist,
The Claus gave to all, and he checked off a list.

It moved through the station and left in its wake,
The sound of bright laughter and the stench of fruitcake.

The others succumbed, but it failed in its goal,
For to me it gave only a small pile of coal.

The station was lost, I could only instruct
The bastion computer to set self-destruct.

I failed to kill him, for I saw as I fled,
The target escaping, quite safe in his sled.

I heard it cry out as the base burst into light,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

**toasteroven**

Ah, the cockles of my heart have been warmed.

**Stormonu**

You forgot the pic to go with it...

**Low_K**

Exalted, Kid_Kyoto!

very enjoyable!

**Kid_Kyoto**

One good Santa deserves another

**zedmeister**

Grrrrr

**Kid_Kyoto**

Dude, Advent started on Sunday.

It's Christmas time.

**Nevelon**

Merry Nurglemass!

**RiTides**

I love this thread every year

and the wargaming Santa pics are a great idea!

**Bookwrack**

Oh for feth's sake, exterminatus comes earlier and earlier every year.

**Dendarien**

Always happy to read this each year. A timeless Dakka tradition!

**the_Armyman**

Come back to Dakka after a long break. Read "The Night Before 986996.M41". Feels like I never left. Thanks KK

**Kid_Kyoto**

Merry Winter Holiday everyone!

**Stormonu**

"Ho ho ho, now I have a machine gun too!"

**Kid_Kyoto**

Well this is sort of on topic.

http://theionageblog.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/imp40-rudolph-reindeerbot-free-for-all.html

IMP40 Rudolph the Reindeerbot free for all December 2016!
“Welcome to festive time! The last month of the year and as we go towards Christmas and the only time we take a full week off it gives me awesome wargame pleasure to present the next festive themed monthly free miniature. Santa Desteria and his sweet friend Missiletoe Claus along with the Chrimbot are now joined by Rudolph the Reindeerbot! Those who have been IonFans since we began have been asking increasingly what the theme months will bring and I don't like to spoil surprises so in adding to the 15mm oddness we have our fortieth month and forth Xmas mini and it is a robot red nose which will fit in well with your other Christmas miniatures and in any more mad scenarios you wish to run. Merry Christmas everyone from here in Scotland!”

Each December we release a fun festive miniature (January sees deep cold theme) so welcome to the 40th month and our new 15mm robot. It is free in every order every time all month before being retired. This miniature is automatically put into every order at the rate of one per order regardless of order value. It can also be bought in any amount on the monthly IMP page of the website for this month only too before being withdrawn on the first of next month. We are into Year Four now and if you missed it you can see the Year Three Collection on the website.

This month's miniature is a superb character robot by Sam Croes. Standing 16mm to the eye line it is a titanium skeleton with sharp antlers and a ruby nose. There is a growing page on the Ion Age website where the current and all former IMP series free miniatures are shown so that you can see what came before. Enjoy looking at what came before.

Above you can see the now online IMPS03 Chrimbo Set which has all four Christmas themed miniatures in one code.

We ask you to sign up for a website account with us on your first order. Why? For one reason only. Not to send you emails (we never will. If you want our emails sign up for our Mailchimp list on the right top of the blog home page) or to pester you; but only to keep track of the Reward Points that all orders with us earn. Reward Points through our online partner Sloyalty which can be used once accumulated to get discounts or free stuff at any point in the future. Learn more about this HERE. Every order earns Reward Points! Yes free extra value. Part of our promise to keep the fun in wargaming.

Information Burst!
December is our quiet month of the year and we do not have any releases beyond what you see in this article this month. I want to thank everyone who took us up on the Four Day Awesome Offer end of last month we now have to actually replace the molds for the IAF30 Duxis Battlesuits which was something you really all enjoyed with last month's special offer (we have a new one see below). Work is continuing between myself and Sam Croes upon the third book in the Patrol Angis series and the miniatures too for the whole Shia Khan Army building upon what we already have. More on this in the new year; it is going to be ruddy epic!

Lastly we have a new month long special offer...this time to get your infantry some sweet portable back up in the field. All the six variants of the IAF046 Espaten Portable Weapon Platforms are 25% off list price. Remember you can also get Repulsar and Tracked propulsion units for your Espaten too. We have a Retained Knight and a Muster crew packs for them as well. Click on the links to learn more.

As always if you are reading this bulletin later in the month or further into the future please do have a look at our blog and use it as a time machine to read all the excellent content that is there going right back to our start. Try August 2015 for instance when the SuperBlue came forth!

Thanks for your support and for enjoying The Ion Age...let it snow, let it snow....

**Kid_Kyoto**

Also relevant.

http://www.eden-the-game.com/eden-legends-klaus-ses-lutins-art1289.html#prettyPhoto

**TheDraconicLord**

Can't believe it's this time of year already

Thanks for keeping this beloved tradition alive!

**Sinful Hero**

"The vile cavorting of each decadent hoof" is still quite possibly the greatest line in the history of literature.

**kestral**

Thanks for that. I have received a +1 bonus to Ld tests for the near future.

**Hedgehog**

HO HO HO!

**Iron_Captain**

I love it

**gnome_idea_what**

This is amazing. +1 exalt and I wish I could give this thread more.

**FireSkullz2**

Only my second time round to one of these, but I hope it continues! +1 Exalt

**Kid_Kyoto**

Another important part is caroling of course.

Before any December battle the Brothers of the Adeptus Astres are said to sing this ancient hymn...

Battlehymn of the Adeptus Astres

(Sung to the tune of... oh just guess)

Space Marines! Space Marines! Fighting every day! Oh what fun it is to find Some Xenos we can slay!

HEY!

Flying through the stars In our armored Battle Barge Listen to the Sarge His sword is rather large! Hack! Hack! Hack! Orks are big and mean! Space Elves weak but clean! Necrons are a machine! Assaults makes fish-men scream!

HEY!

Space Marines! Space Marines! Fighting every day! Oh what fun it is to find Some Daemons we can slay!

HEY!

Khorne is red and yells! Nurgle's green and smells! Tzeentch's blue casts spells! Slannesh's pink and uses gells! Hump! Hump! Hump! Chain-swords whirr and slash! Thunder Hammers smash! Howling Griffons clash! Rainbow Warriors smoke hash!

OH!

Space Marines! Space Marines! Fighting every day! Oh what fun it is to find Some Traitors we can slay!

HEY!

Death Guard smell very bad! Night Lords are quite sad! Word Bearers wage jihad! Black Legion hates their dad! Sob! Sob! Sob! Emp's Children love their sex! Thousand Sons cast their hex! World Eaters chop your necks! Cultists have no Codex! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Space Marines! Space Marines! Fighting every day! Oh what fun it is to find Some Xenos we can slay!

**JetmechNOR**

Oh the holiday spirit in a way that warms my nerdy core

**Inevitable_Faith**

Thank you Kid_Kyoto. These threads always bring me such joy this time of year.

**Kid_Kyoto**

Also of potential interest

http://northstarfigures.com/list.php?spo=1&page=1

**JustaerinAtTheWall**

This couldn't have possibly made me happier. The time that went into this is most likely long and possibly at times painful, but thank you so much...
... For this tale of heresy and the lone guardsman who saved the day.

**Kid_Kyoto**

Some classic Christmas goodness

Automatically Appended Next Post:

http://shop.microartstudio.com/discworld-hog-death-bust-unpainted-1-p-1063.html

HO.
HO.
HO.

**Dropbear Victim**

This year seemed to fly by. I barely did anything hobby related. Well, except buy more stuff.