to burn when

The Human Torch

grabs their chest

to say hello.

Hello, I said

and with that

I fled! Like

A brown rat.

And, t'was thus

the end of

the line for

for me, or

the last dance

for your girlfriend

. So, after saying

all those things;

I suddenly fell

into a furnace

and I liked

furnaces in general

because fiyah purty.

But this time

it just didn't

feel the same.

I was burning

No gak, Sherlock.

said Dr Watson.

because he was

a complete arse.

So, I shoved

my friend into

the friendzone forever.

The old furnace

shone brightly as

fire in Khorne's

giant bum crack,

as fresh bodies

are shovelled in

by the score

Of the door.

Pleading to GW

will get you

nowhere because they

actually necrons wearing

cheap business casual

pink short shorts.

And possesed by.

Errant full. stops.

Furnace fiends flock

to Khorne's bum

, lured by the

scheming Slaaneshi daemons.

The cheeks parted

then slammed shut

crushing everyone inside.

Their remains dripped

slowly from Khorne's

(why the feth did I start this with "bum crack"? :/ )

memory as he

tossed another skull

up his bum.


(Wtf brain!?)

"Blood for the

Khorne Flakes!!" Said

Your sister's sister.

I drank too

much Khorne blood :(

on my way

to Slaanesh parties.

Then I found

Alpha legion surfing

on waves of

sweet slimy plaguebearers

, so I joined

them, praising Nurgle!

Dranon is here.

And now dead.

But once he

was a magical

fluff bunny because

boon table failures.

If Dranon could

eat more unicorns,

then just maybe

he'll become rainbow

Colored warp sandwiches

from the land

of useless drivel.

Chainswords and prosciutto

sounds like escuchio!

Sadly, the dice

are all Ones

when Tzeentch is

calculating his taxes

with a squig.

A small boat

capsized when Poseidon

moved to the

forest moon of

Catachan! The locals

on catachan eat

tasty seafood dinners

from Catachan Devils

which taste like

deviled crab cakes.

Furthermore, the latrines

on the Catachan

world are very

hard to find

, requiring the men

to dig holes

to poop in.

Catachan citizens work

started offering customers

low interest rates

to crack addicts

who need guns.

The Catachan jungles

contain face-eating towels

and slapping fish

of great fortune

, hidden amongst the

Khornate BLUHD monsters.

Catachan tourists quickly

applied oil to

Emprah's wang. This

is the worst

piece of heresy

since Metallica's album

went unnoticed by

the Billboard Charts.

When Space Marines

have bolter porn,

their opponents have

rage fits for

not asking them

to stop being

white and bald.

So BAWLD and

white that they

ate sausages and

drank Yuengling Lager

while watching witches

with wild whips

whipping white whisps

while writhing willfully

With woeful walrus

that ate fireworks.

However, kangaroos will

kick your ass

Almost instantly with

my little pony

, who is a

expert Ninja warrior.

Thus, I came

around to the

conclusion that, extravagant

lifestyles can be

filled with insane

mumbling from my

expensive servo skull.

Once, obese hirsute

tried to buy

some weed from

an asian masseuse

who is named

Dum Phat Ho

. She sold him

many many many

me love you

long time. Ironically,

this lead to

hours of casual

playtime with Slaanesh.

An awful thing

it was, as

Psy was playing

many daemonettes, who

complained a lot

about their day

and subsequently pulled

on his very

big altar boy

who fell over.

Filthy and stinking

, EVIL INC failed

to corrupt the

DAKKADAKKA threads everywhere.

When you think

hard about it,

bacon am sausages

are both

awesome for breakfast.

First reports indicate

that highly toxic

counterfiet energy drinks

rot away children

before they know

Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

The usual suspects

(oops double post)

were in fact

diluting energy drinks

with distilled promethium

and questionable fillers.

Therefore, the FSA

are encouraging aliens

to stop eating

many Jaffa cakes

before dinner. Afterwards,

they can bask

under the heat

of a nuclear

tanning bed lamp.

Then they must

answer the question

to life, the

One they fear.

"What is your

name, little boy?"

This is not

a rhetorical question;

But are the

nipples hard yet?

"Verily!", he said

Kennedy acted alone

with unrelated words!

The real story

is much more

uninteresting and wildly

exaggerated than it

actually should be.

If we knew

Mexican food was

not going to

be digested well,

then maybe we

, the Soviet ATGMs,

should just detonate.

But tortillas and

beans and rice

make for good

Soviet ATGMs, which

Were sued for.

When you look

at the slappyfish,

you better be

prepared for slappage.

It can be

a pain in

the arse when

You get slapped

by the fish

over and over

and over again,

until one day

you die of

wet slapping syndrome.

(Happy Thanksgiving)

Therefore, I conclude

(You too )

that fish-slapping

is for warfare

and should be

restricted by geneva

conventions from this

Planet for eternity.

Whenever someone says

slappyfish, I want

to grab a

sword and ram

it down their

goddamn throats. Anyways,

no trout or

halibut nor even

flounder shall be

outside my wrath!

A new story

shall now begin,

one that will

rule the fate

of many slappyfish.

Who were fething

despicable, and should

Be incinerated with

hot white flame

for the Emprah!

A long time

ago in a

galaxy far, far

away, two orks

Dakka'ed the Death

out of each

other's Death Stars.

Meanwhile, back at

Sips Co, Macerators

with Soviet ATGMs

were macerating vigorously.

We will never

never, never surrender!

But the alligators

had other ideas

about our surrender

and decided to