I decided to go and re-watch this movie after looking at a great review of the Modiphius RPG for John Carter of Mars. It made me a bit nostalgic, but I did not want to re-read 13 Edgar Rice Burroughs books again. This was the closest thing I could find.....
You know, it is a perfectly serviceable tent pole, summer, action experience. The biggest down side that I really felt, was that the main actor was not strong enough to carry the film. Everyone else seemed to be having a fine time of it.
I can also see how some of this stuff may seem "unoriginal" now, because .... well Burroughs literally wrote the book on some of this stuff in the 1890's and early 20th century. That stuff should look a bit dated by now!
That said, some people complain a bit about the wrap-around story as well, but I kind of liked it.
The Virgin Witch
You know, a lot of people think that we live in the most "depraved" and "morally bankrupt" era in living memory. These people apparently forgot the late 60's and into the late 70's.
This was where the most depraved and exploitative stuff I have even seen has been produced! Perhaps, because it was pre-internet and you had to seek this stuff out at the drive-in that people forget just how smutty this time was for cinema. This movie falls squarely into that category, and really is nothing but exploitation and smut tied in with a weak-sauce "witch" plotline.
Man, I felt icky just watching it, and didn't make it all the way through. I even have a strong tolerance for "cult" movies, but it was just too much sexploitation for me, but your mileage may vary.
My main issue with John Carter was the main character having been changed into a mopey sad man with constant flashbacks to dead wife and kid. It’s really hard to have fun in a movie where every fun scene is interrupted with dead family trauma.
As for the 70’s…I feel like a lot of the people most worried about society’s degradation were the ones who partook too much of the sleazy drug orgies back in the day. I really don’t want to imagine how many of our parents got swingy on shag carpeting. Now they are constantly rallying against today’s kids for the youthful mistakes they enjoyed back in the day despite articles showing today’s teenagers engage in less reckless sex than previous generations.
Never before have I see such an eye catchingly cool idea for a movie, with all the potential to be both compelling, exciting, and deep.
The story is about the waning days of WWII when some Soviet troops are given the ultimate secret task; transport Hitler's dead body to Moscow.
Seriously. That's a one-stop shop for sign me up that sounds interesting.
And this movie is so incredibly fething dull. Someone else please steal this idea and give it to Tom Hanks or something. IDK. Dear god this movie is boring. How is this movie so boring? Even the action scenes are boring!
How does that sound exciting? My first thought is a dozen guys riding in a truck with a body bag running out of dark jokes about 15 minutes into the drive.
BobtheInquisitor wrote: How does that sound exciting? My first thought is a dozen guys riding in a truck with a body bag running out of dark jokes about 15 minutes into the drive.
Just the sheer potential for exploration!
The futility of war. The ways powerful men can sway the fates of millions in life and death. The After-War is also hell. Maybe a commentary on how Stalin and Hitler were the same kind of monster and some stuff to say about the stupid ways people use words to draw pointless categories when really they're all fething donkey-caves.
So much potential.
Such an utter bore of a film. A bunch of guys riding in a truck with a body bag telling dark jokes would have been less dull. At least I'd either laugh or roll my eyes. This movie just rolls by and you can smell the wasted potential!
I can't for the life of me wrap my head around the US school system. I think this one is about a group of college graduates who have no idea how where and why to go now that they're facing adulthood. They mostly hang out and talk about ...stuff whilst clinging to their college lives.
I don't think that I should tell any more about the story.
I very, very much enjoyed it. Some of the dialogue I didn't get, but that's okay. I loved the atmosphere; that mix of boredom, aloofness and sheer terror of not knowing what's to come, but being responsible for it (to avoid the wobbly term 'angst'). They have all the options in the world, which of course leads to choice paralysis and while each of them tries to deal with it in a different way they mostly view 'going back' as their only option, while it's not an option at all. And they're bascially alone with that. There barely are any parents (except for the best clueless-but-well-meaning screen dad in the world: Elliot Gould), romantic connections are fleeting at best, because nowbody knows where they'll be next year anyway.
What they do have though is talking to each other, which seems to be the only thing that gives them comfort in all that chaos unfolding. This is where the film shines: The dialogue is very funny at times, at other times melancholic, daft, unnecessary, sincere, insincere and so on. All of that good stuff.
I'm sure a ton of people wouldn't like it. In that case they can play "wait, where do I know that person from?", because that happens a lot in that film.
I can't give it a "Watch It" just becaue I liked it, but I know that many wouldn't so Take it or Leave It.
Johnny Depp is Dean Corso, a pretty sleazy finder-and-buyer of high-price antiquarian books. Wealthy Mr.Balkan (Frank Langella, who is always a great presence on screen) - whose private library is specialized on books about the devil - hires him for LOADS of money to find out if his recently acquired copy of "The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows" from the 17th century is real or a counterfeit. As only three copies of this book survived Corso has to get access to the other two copies (owned by collectors in Italy and France respectively) and compare the books.
It's one of those films I can watch pretty much any time. I'd say it's a mystery thriller with a nice, slow pace, tons of mood, a bunch of low-key comedy and a bit of spookiness. This film would be rather dry (some will claim it is), but Depp and the excellently-cast rest of the characters give this whole thing colour. And it's just nice to watch a Johnny Depp film and not having to feel like it's a kids film, generally irritated, or just feeling bad in general for watching it.
Watch It.
As I just learned, the film is based on a novel written by the guy who wrote the Alatriste novels! It's a tiny little world, isn't it.
Automatically Appended Next Post: In Order of Dissapearance (2014)
Norwegian film of the "Liam Neeson" genre. Needless to say that this one got remade starring Liam Neeson. It's about a snow plough driver whose son is killed with a overdose by nasty people and he goes on a revenge, fulled killing spree.
It's less violent (well, for the most part) and action-y than that may sound though. The most interesting aspect is the played-for-laughs, self-pitying Norwegian crime boss and his woes as a divorcee father and the Serbian mafia. It's all pretty dialogue-heavy, and a bit slow, but good fun overall. It's a crime comedy basically.
Oh, and it features Bruno Ganz! Woah.
Take or Leave. If you're in the mood for a Liam Neeson film, watch this one instead.
Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel, not quite a reimagining. It’s more a film along the same vague theme as the originals, but played somewhat more straight.
In a peculiar way, it’s a more mature take on the Nutters In The Woods. There are bits of Awful Unpleasantness, but not in the titillation we’re perhaps used to from post-Hostel “Nutters in the Woods” type torture prawn.
It’s on Netflix in the U.K., and worth the watch if you like your horror with a mature take on gore and what’s actually scary.
Not bad. Predictable but entertaining. Decent voice acting. Some interesting imagery that might be fun to build for a particularly outlandish tabletop wargame. I found myself identifying with the grandfather. Lots of diversity which I was cool with but may come across as heavy handed to some.
@Easy E I was very surprised to see John Carter fail so miserably in the box office. I thought it was a solid film with a decent cast all around. Good special effects. I wonder if it was just released at the wrong time. The public can be fickle it seems.
This is another movie I really enjoy it feels like it would have made a fun anime movie. The plot and the characters. Lee Van Cleef is the badist man in the west as was his schtick. Here he works a plan to swindle/blackmail a powerful landowner at the center of a bank robbery.
And he does this while playing the good guy in the story, well the less than bad guy anyway.
It's good fun and remember if you want to have money, want to be rich some times you have to be a son of a .. Oh, wait that from the Sabata returns.. Also worth watching.
It’s great. Sure to those who weren’t there it’s a glorified toy advert, I can’t deny that.
But what a wonderfully plotted toy advert. Just everything about it Is More than the TV show.
Orson Welles! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson! All clearly in dire need of a new Conservatory or unexpected tax bill!
It should (like the woeful GI Joe movie, which has aged worse than something that aged badly. No. Worse than that. No no no. Still worse…..there you go!) have aged hideously. But it hasn’t.
It’s a cracker of a movie I’ll watch until my dying day, and if I have my way, and the paternal leaning toward dementia allows, it will be something I watch on my dying day.
And I’ve not even bothered to discuss the Absolute Banger of a soundtrack.
@Mad Doc Grotsnik: I remember seeing the first one on dvd back when it was new-ish and I have no idea why this turned into a series. I mean it was alright-ish, but kinda meh. I guess that - other with John Carter from Mars - it was done in just the right time, and proved cheap to make I guess. And due to the political situation in the US "people outside of the cities are scary" kept being a popular formula.
...
@Easy E I was very surprised to see John Carter fail so miserably in the box office. I thought it was a solid film with a decent cast all around. Good special effects. I wonder if it was just released at the wrong time. The public can be fickle it seems.
The usual stuff that's mentioned is "marketing had no idea what do do with it". It went through a name change or two during the marketing campaign too (or shortly before) IIRC too. I think I watched the beginning at some point, it seemed alright, but not for me.
@warhead01: Oh yes, Sabata is a classic.
For reasons I'm a fan of models, so here's a pretty cool picture I saw earlier today. It's the guy who built the model for the cabin they used in Evil Dead 2.
It’s great. Sure to those who weren’t there it’s a glorified toy advert, I can’t deny that.
But what a wonderfully plotted toy advert. Just everything about it Is More than the TV show.
Orson Welles! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson! All clearly in dire need of a new Conservatory or unexpected tax bill!
It should (like the woeful GI Joe movie, which has aged worse than something that aged badly. No. Worse than that. No no no. Still worse…..there you go!) have aged hideously. But it hasn’t.
It’s a cracker of a movie I’ll watch until my dying day, and if I have my way, and the paternal leaning toward dementia allows, it will be something I watch on my dying day.
And I’ve not even bothered to discuss the Absolute Banger of a soundtrack.
I remember seeing it in the theater!
You're right about the GIJOE movie too. Very sad. I'm a big fan of the comics.
I tried sharing this marvel with some younger co-workers once. They didn't get it at all. The sheer 80s-ness of it was too much.
Probably too wussy to handle the kick ass sound track.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Doomsday
What a glorious mess of a film. It’s a very deliberate mash up of tropes. Bit of Mad Max, bit of Resi Evil, dollop of Braveheart and other references too numerous to list.
This shouldn’t even remotely work. But like the Paradise Burger from Grubbs in Brighton (beef, banana, peanut butter, pineapple)? It does.
Sure it was never in danger of bothering any award show. And it doesn’t stand out as a solid example of its many, many genres. But it’s still somehow greater than the sum of its parts.
I really cannot stress how hard this film should’ve sucked, nor how gratifying it is to know that it didn’t suck, like, at all.
The cast is great. The acting is great. The cinematography is great. The plot is absolutely all over the shop.
This film is to cinema as your gloriously eccentric Great Aunt is to society. You can’t help but adore and admire its sheer chutzpah.
Well here’s a film I first saw years ago, popped up on Disney+.
And it’s just about perfect. Ahnald and Jamie-Lee Curtis both on top form. The comedy is solid. The action is solid, and the two sit together far better than you might expect.
Bill Paxton is a great sleazeball, and I still can’t believe that’s Eliza Dushku.
To me it always was too much of a mix of genres without really going in one direction. On the other hand: TWO TIME Grammy winner Tia Carrere. I Mean it's a perfectly OK film, but it never struck me as being that good. Maybe I don't appreciate its well-roundedness enough. On the other hand: Tia Carrere.
In my opinion it’s the perfect mix of Pierce Brosnan Bond and Roger Moore Bond. Minimum smarm. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, has some great action set pieces, a good bit of comedy and the cast have great chemistry. And someone gets fired out the front of a truck from MANPAD back blast. I just love it.
It’s ok. I think the film starts off well, keeps a good balance of humor and action for most of the movie, and then loses it in the last third, becoming almost tedious with a few moments of brilliance. I think it’s a pacing or editing issue, or just not enough of the fun characters and too much of Arnold and Jamie Lee together being less than the sun of their parts. I bet Gail Anne Hurd could have made that last act pop.
Another long time favourite I’ve not watched in forever. And what a cast it has. Not just lots of big names, but even Jonny Depp before he became intensely annoying!
Another long time favourite I’ve not watched in forever. And what a cast it has. Not just lots of big names, but even Jonny Depp before he became intensely annoying!
There’s an awful awful lot to enjoy here.
Oh yes, that's a lovely film.It looks amazing, it's got great atmosphere without feeling heavy, it's got Casper van Dien and Miranda Richardson and the bleeding tree and all. Great film.
Shinobi no mono 1 - 8 1966 - I'm not even sure. - Raizô Ichikawa
If you're a Ninja fan these are worth the watch. The first one was very good showing the devious and traitorous nature of old timey politics. Manipulation and exploitation is truly one of the lesser displayed traits of the 80's ninja films. The fights and activities of the ninja in these movies were, in the beginning, far more believable than their 80's counterparts. Later after maybe movie 5 the fights and acrobatics were far more of a spectacle. I suspect one of the movies was too slow for movie the audience so changes were made in later films to hold their attention.
Fair enough I think. The plots weren't bad and there were consequence to the actions of the ninja which continued to unfold in films after the first, in the films that followed the same timeline and characters. The same actor - Raizô Ichikawa - plays 3 different ninjas in their own story arcs.
I may be just a touch wrong about that but it's close enough. I really enjoyed seeing ninjas sneaking around getting into places they weren't suppose to be and the challenges of a particularly hard target. Some of the locations and some of the faces seen were also used in the anime Dagger of kamui which was a treat to see. a fair bit of the stories were based around real events as well so I see some of these as more like historical dramas.
I only found out about these movies because of an Antony Cummings reaction video. I'm in the middle of one of his ninja books right now, True path of the Ninja.
This is a whole lot of movie. It’s got action, comedy, romance, bromance, epic dancing and the most evil British empire since Star Wars. If you liked Commando, John Woo’s The Killer, Braveheart, Kung Fu Hustle and Breakin’ 1/2, you’ll find something to enjoy in this movie.
As disaster movies go, this one feels fairly well restrained. Whilst I doubt it’s terribly accurate, I’m not seeing anything instantly face palm.
There are bits when it all kicks off where we see Firefighters still doing their job, and at first that felt silly. But they’re doing their job, and that early on they’re not to know it’s a Volcano, and so their efforts are for naught.
Though Anne Heche (RIP) is given what feels like needless exposition regarding tectonic plates and red hot liquid mag-ma to deliver to Tommy Lee Jones, and us the audience.
I wouldn’t say it’s a classic of the disaster genre, but I guess it’s enjoyable enough.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Deep Rising
A cult classic creature feature that might’ve swim under your radar.
This is so, so close to being outright brilliant, but it just doesn’t quite cut the mustard. And I lack the film knowledge to be able of say exactly what it is that holds it back.
I think part of it is the tone is a bit wonky. The comedy bits jar with the action, and it swings between the two fairly randomly.
The good bits are good though. Creatures are decent, and despite being a late 90’s effort, kept mysterious and mostly off screen apart from the evidence of their attacks. And y’know? The CGI holds up pretty well overall. Though the guns they have are very, very silly indeed.
Oh and it has Famke Janssen. Just as you always get points for Danny Trejo, you always always get points for Famke Janssen.
Thoroughly enjoyed this. Watching the trailer a few months ago I'd kind of dismissed it as just another cheap, by the numbers low budget horror, but thankfully there's a lot more to it.
Firstly, the stock of two of the leads has gone up exponentially in recent months. I'd argue at the time of filming Brittany Snow (Pitch Perfect) was probably the face most people would recognise, but fast forward a few months and Jenna Ortega (Wednesday, Scream) and Mia Goth (Pearl, Suspiria) have both enjoyed a lot of exposure.
Secondly, the reason I dismissed it as another cookie cutter low budget film is because it is meant to look like that. This film is a love letter to 70s 80s splatter and exploitation films. From the opening shot, framed as if it were being caught on 8mm, to the lighting and production, it all lovingly reproduces the look and feel of those movies, Texas Chainsaw, being the obvious touch stone.
While leaning on those films for inspiration, X isn't content with just duplicating the style, there's a meta idea going on where the characters are intent on elevating an adult movie, while the cast and crew are clearly intent on doing the same to schlock horror. The cinematography on display is often beyond what you would reasonably expect from the genre.
X isn't afraid of telling you what's going to happen, it literally opens by showing the aftermath, yet somehow still manages to pull off surprises. It may also contain the first use in film of Chekhov's alligator.
The use of such an unlikely antagonist scores points too, not only for originality but also because it creates discomfort where a run of the mill slasher wouldn't. Slasher films are often allegories for the loss of innocence and the death of childhood, but here speaks to the fear of ageing, which while no less universal than growing up, is perhaps bleaker absence the lack of any optimism for a future that has already passed.
With the usual caveats around horror not being everyone's cup of tea, X is one to seek out. I'm personally going to seek out Pearl as a matter of priority now, as a prequel, also starring Mia Goth, by the same creator (greenlit while X was still in production) I'll be interested to see more.
Dio - dreamers never die
pretty interesting documentary overall
It doesn't go as in depth as one might want, but then its covering a lot of ground with the length of his career
BobtheInquisitor wrote: If you like horror-comedies starring Famke Jansen, have you seen The Faculty?
(It’s even better if you like Dropfleet/zone.)
Of course! Excellent use of The Kids Aren’t Alright, coming a time in my life when that song was described the disintegration of a former social group in the very way the song describes!
This is a pretty solid whodunnit. I never knew I needed a Edgar Allen Poe origin story.
Its the third teamup between Bale and writer/director Scott Cooper, first being the fairly decent Out of the Furnace and secondly the fairly excellent Hostiles.
As usual, Bale delivers start to finish. The actor who plays Poe was pretty good as well. The two were a pretty good team. Gillian Anderson and a near unrecognizable (to me at least, he felt familiar, but couldn’t place it until credits rolled) Robert Duvall make cameos. There were also quite a few familiar actors in minor roles, all played well.
Cleverly written story that had me guessing, with a great twist.
A cult classic creature feature that might’ve swim under your radar.
This is so, so close to being outright brilliant, but it just doesn’t quite cut the mustard. And I lack the film knowledge to be able of say exactly what it is that holds it back.
I think part of it is the tone is a bit wonky. The comedy bits jar with the action, and it swings between the two fairly randomly.
The good bits are good though. Creatures are decent, and despite being a late 90’s effort, kept mysterious and mostly off screen apart from the evidence of their attacks. And y’know? The CGI holds up pretty well overall. Though the guns they have are very, very silly indeed.
Oh and it has Famke Janssen. Just as you always get points for Danny Trejo, you always always get points for Famke Janssen.
I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above. Got the DVD a few years ago. The German release is called OCTALUS, which means nothing, but is a more memorable title I think than Deep Rising and kinda reflects the tone of the film.
Either way - excellently good fun. The DVD comes with a making-of featurette.
Now a review, but I watched the first episode of Trigun Stampede. I'm not an anime guy, but I gave Trigun a try and it actually pushed my cut-off date for watchable anime shows back by two or three years. I watched the show twice, I enjoy it. It certainly isn't without faults, but it's fun and silly and stylish and anime here and there and it's got a banger of a soundtrack. So I watched the first episode of the new one now. It's a "reimagining". And it's rather interesting with how one could read into the different presentation how times have changed. The new one they start without the great intro track (are there even tv show intros any more?), instead we go right to tearjerky exposition. People who know the show recognize it as "the very emotional highlight of the kinda boring flashback part in which everything we never quite asked for is explained". People who don't know the original show are shown people they don't know being in a problematic situation. Are we're supposed to be so conditioned to care just because attactive figure A makes a teary face? I guess the story is so popular and well known in anime circles that they know what's going on without having watched the original show anyway. The first episode is so full of exposition, it's almost funny. The whole story, which only comes into play on the original show halfway through, is told right away in the first episode of the new show.
Another central character ist introduced, there's been an interesting (one might say backwards and anachronistic) change made.
But anyway. It's not for me. What I found interesting is how Western the whole thing looks for large parts. IIRC Trigun was a big hit in the US, so maybe they're strongly looking at that audience. Lots of the animation reminded me of the new Duck Tales show (of which I saw an episode a while ago). It's all very smooth, some is life-life too, and there even is some Dreamworks-eyebrow action going on (which is always off-putting of course). There just is not a single ounce of style to it. Everything is very round and smooth and softly filtered (to make up for the inherent problemns of CGI animation, I guess).
Anyway, that's my thoughts. Doesn't even really belong here, but oh well. Either way, Deep Rising is very entertaining. Watch it.
A cult classic creature feature that might’ve swim under your radar.
This is so, so close to being outright brilliant, but it just doesn’t quite cut the mustard. And I lack the film knowledge to be able of say exactly what it is that holds it back.
I think part of it is the tone is a bit wonky. The comedy bits jar with the action, and it swings between the two fairly randomly.
The good bits are good though. Creatures are decent, and despite being a late 90’s effort, kept mysterious and mostly off screen apart from the evidence of their attacks. And y’know? The CGI holds up pretty well overall. Though the guns they have are very, very silly indeed.
Oh and it has Famke Janssen. Just as you always get points for Danny Trejo, you always always get points for Famke Janssen.
Deep Rising is one of those hidden gem B movies that keep me watching B movies. I quite enjoyed it despite its weaker points as noted above. A solid monster movie adventure that would make a decent RPG or tabletop wargame scenario.
@Mad Dog Grotsnik: The Catherine Zeta Jones one? That one's alright, isn't it.
After I watched Trigun earlier today I thought I could just as well try the first episode of Chainsaw Man, because that's very popular these days. Made me realize how broad and lavish the production of Trigun Stampede is. Holy crap, why is all of that stuff so dreary? Is it because this resonates with young people? Neon Genesis Evangelion (the epitomy of everything, especially so in terms of appealing to young people) didn't do that. But oh well. I'm way less harsh in judging Chainsaw Man than I was with Trigun Stampede I'm sure. It is what it is. I just don't really care for some supernatural person fighting supernatural monsters each week. Which is odd, because Trigun kinda did that and Neon Genesis Evangelion (the epitomy of everything, especially so in terms of weekly foes to overcome) did that too. But in what sort of twisted world do we live in which Chainsaw Man has the way better end credits music than the new Trigun has? Oh well. I can't believe I'm turning into some sort of weeb in my old age.
Been on my watchlist for a while, and found it on Shudder this evening.
Initial impressions?
I am Saw! I AM HIM!, but with added Rube Goldberg.
The opening scene involves a pretty comprehensive massacre at a nightclub. I’ve been to nightclubs. They’re universally awful so I can’t help but feel the shredding, slashing and squishing might actually have proven an all round better experience compared to sweaty drunkards, underendowed angry men, god awful music and bloody expensive drinks. But that’s just me.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Verdict? It’s…not quite alright. I don’t necessarily regret watching it, but I’m in no clamour to see the first one, nor wanting a sequel.
Saw did it all better, and did it first.
Now? Lords of Salem
I’m a proper sucker for Rob Zombie movies. I know I’ve watched this before, but don’t really remember it, only a loose outline of the plot.
I watched The Northman a few months back and it was decent, but forgettable. I can't see that there was anything wrong with it...but it was just not memorable.
I watched (read "skimmed") through Black Adam and thought it was decent (at least better than WW84), but I skipped the kid scenes. Pierce Brosnan definitely crushed his role regardless.
More recently I watched The Menu and thought it was beautiful, but almost pretentious in it's criticism of pretentiousness...it's a thin line to straddle.
The Menu is pretty good. The latest in a line of films where Filmmakers seem to be using some other industry as a metaphor for their own (others being Ford vs Ferarri and Knives Out Glass Onion).
Laaaaaaazy Sunday Afternoon! Got no time for worries!
But I do have time for Troma Movies. Because they’re proof positive no budget is no barrier to making entertaining movies, provided you don’t take yourself too seriously, and get inventive.
Class of Nuke ‘Em High is first up. If this film had its tongue any firmer in its cheek, it would be tasting the wall paper.
It’s daft, the plot is paper thin (nuclear contaminated weed causes high school anarchy). Whilst not good, the effects are inventive and somewhat original.
If like me you’re a fan of B-Movie nonsense, and you’re not already familiar with Troma Films? It’s high time you were getting familiar!
I also watched The Pale Blue Eye and really enjoyed it. Not quite sure why critics have given it a low score. Pleasantly surprised by the plot twist, some excellent acting. Gillian Anderson played her role to a tee. Harry Melling was great casting for the young Poe, genuinely looks like him. I thought the costume work was spot on, not often you get cinema set in the 1830s. Quite a smart direction to use a mainly British cast. Surprisingly this is one of the criticisms of the movie, that they don't sound American enough.
Olthannon wrote: I also watched The Pale Blue Eye and really enjoyed it. Not quite sure why critics have given it a low score. Pleasantly surprised by the plot twist, some excellent acting. Gillian Anderson played her role to a tee. Harry Melling was great casting for the young Poe, genuinely looks like him. I thought the costume work was spot on, not often you get cinema set in the 1830s. Quite a smart direction to use a mainly British cast. Surprisingly this is one of the criticisms of the movie, that they don't sound American enough.
IMO, because the ending of the movie isn't up to snuff with the rest of it. It does a really good job with its characters and actors and the mystery, but the big reveal of the end was a bit out of the blue IMO. It needed better groundwork.
That said, I don't think it's as bad a movie as the reviews said.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Most of the way through.
I kind of like it. It’s an odd fish, and probably not for everyone. But for what it is, it’s fun. And importantly whilst still a Horror Film, a welcome change from Rob’s previous fare.
A supernatural thriller of reverse-exorcism. Backstory is an elderly couple hold a pregnant woman prisoner, using Satanism to swap her child’s soul for that of their deceased grandson’s (the Jackson of the title).
This is really quite good. Decent scares, and a wonderful atmosphere. It’s also quite dialogue heavy, with weird and unsettling hallucinations interspersed.
I’ve certainly never seen anything quite like it, but there are bits and bobs of other films showing as influence.
Definitely give it a watch if you like fairly cerebral horror.
Ford v Ferrari is one of my favourite motorsport films: excellent cast, brilliantly filmed and a riveting story, I try and recommend it whenever I get the opportunity. You don't even need to be a petrol head to enjoy the film I think.
Quite enjoyed Barbarian (2022). I still find it so funny that films like this are front page on Disney+.
Quite a good mid-film swerve, its not the sort of film you expect it to be when you start watching. Had it played it straight it would have been pretty forgettable, as it is I'll say its a good Friday night film to watch if you're tired from the week, have a beer in hand and just want something fun to watch.
Well here’s a film I first saw years ago, popped up on Disney+.
And it’s just about perfect. Ahnald and Jamie-Lee Curtis both on top form. The comedy is solid. The action is solid, and the two sit together far better than you might expect.
Bill Paxton is a great sleazeball, and I still can’t believe that’s Eliza Dushku.
Definitely watch this one.
For me True Lies is the ultimate footnote to the action movie era. It just has absolutely everything, its an incredibly entertaining film.
A film which like the scarlet pimpernel himself, came and went barely noticed.
I know I’ve seen this before - but like Underworld 2, I couldn’t tell you a bloody thing about it.
Maybe Mr Brain will break for the border again on this rewatch.
I'm not sure why this was needed, as the first G.I. Joe movie pretty much tells us Snake Eyes origins.
I didn't really like this movie. I have had to work hard to realize that the movie universe is not the comic book universe, it just shares the same name and names.
It felt like they dumped on one of several of my favorite characters by re inventing them in such a lame way. Regardless of nu-Snake-eyes being "Asian" now it shot Storm shadow right in the face with this whole new bake story. Which to me removed any reason he would have to ever work for cobra. Honestly none of the live action GIJOE movies have been as good as many of us would have hoped for when we were dreaming about all of this cool stuff that could be or could have been. Oh well. On the very flip side the njas in these other two movie were easily the best parts. Those red ninjas were psychotic and I really like that about them.
It's all very sad thought given the massive amount of material they could have drawn from to do all that much more.
Got as far as the giant snek appearing and bailed.
What an awful film.
The first round of giant snakes or the second?
You might have missed the best part, Snake-eyes leading the ninja clan on a fake out so he can find the jewel and take it. Which was the best bit in the whole movie, imop.
So many missed opportunities, Snake-eyes is known for using way too much explosives and has no chill, could have been, oh well.
First one. Got flashbacks to my first watch and bailed.
Now on…
Angel Has Fallen
And he can’t get it up. Third in the Nasty Tumble series, starting Gerard Butler and Morgan Freeman.
What a flaccid action movie this is. Also I suspect rather insulting to Military types, given outside of our main character, they all seem to be Rabbits In The Headlights as soon as action kicks off.
I had a filmwatching evening with my siblings. Made them watch Punisher:Warzone. Greatly entertaining film.
After that we watched the first 11 minutes of Ponyo. None of us had seen it before, but boy.... Ghibli films just rock, don't they. They're insanely beautiful from the first shot, they are able to tell a story without words and just instantly suck you into their beautiful world of entertaining, sympathetic characters. I'll go on watching this one asap.
Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum vehicle, with a dash of Daniel “I really don’t have to work, and haven’t for some time, but when I do I’m clearly picking roles I can have fun with” Radcliffe as the baddie.
This is…..far, far better than I was expecting! Action come RomCom, so for group or couple viewing there’s something for most.
Mission Impossible: The One Where Tom Cruise Hangs off of the Burj
Mission Impossible: The One Where Tom Cruise Hangs off of an Airplane
So these two popped up on Netflix in Egypt. Both perfectly cromulent action/heist films.
They both go to the well of 'the IMF has been disavowed/disbanded and must fight on as a rogue unit" but I guess "the world is in danger and our only hope is Tom Cruise" makes for more drama than "our only hope is Tom Cruise, 3,000 intelligence analysts, SEAL Team 6 and the USS Abraham Lincoln Strike Group".
It's a weird thing but amongst all the nonsense it was the destruction of the Kremlin that jumped out at me as unrealistic. It was obviously multiple explosions with explosives planted in different places and I just couldn't figure out how a crazy terrorist dude managed to plant all of them.
Tonight I'll watch Mission Impossible: Tom Cruise vs Superman's Mustache.
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote: What a flaccid action movie this is. Also I suspect rather insulting to Military types, given outside of our main character, they all seem to be Rabbits In The Headlights as soon as action kicks off.
Believe me, some of my fellows haven't got the braincells to expend thinking beyond "Ooh, big explosion, tits, kill the bad guy!"
I was dragged into the cinema to watch this by my colleagues. I knew it was going to be crap before we went in. It was a god awful crap experience to watch. Then at the end I'm surrounded by "oh wow, amazing!"
I really like the show, I watched the film now. It's pretty much what you'd expect. It's deeply unnecessary. They do this thing where they take the look of the show and try to polish it up by putting a layer of shadow on everything and make some animations very smooth-looking and they add some sort of 'climax' in the end. That doesn't really fit the show (remember the episode where Linda gets flying lessons and the showrunners said that the way that went is as far as the show will go in terms of outlandish scenarios?), but I guess they have to do that if Disney orders a film.
It's perfectly fine though. It's consistent, it doesn't change much about the tone of the show, doesn't mess with characters (they feature too many if any. No aunt Gail though, surprisingly.), it gives everybody a bit to do, and to the usual ratios overall. I'm never quite sure who this show is aimed at because it covers all bases so well. I guess it's a 'family show/film'? Possibly aiming a bit more at kids with this one. And there's good, wholesome stuff in there, presented in a relateable and funny manner.
They do have a bunch of songs in there. I think they got a bit heavy on the songs in more recent years (with good reason, because that show produced some bangers. Few years back I was sick, had a fever and had "Bad stuff happens in the bath room" - clearly one of the greatest songs to ever come out of tv - in my head for days. Weird experience, but I've had that before with other songs as well when having a fever.), but oh well. It's not bad songs and there aren't too many, so don't worry when the thing basically starts with a song.
Watch It. It certainly is better than the Simpsons film. At times it feels a bit meandering and long, but it's pretty much pleasant throughout. It runs for just over 90 minutes (excluding end credits). Turning a 20 minutes tv show into a film must be very tricky, because it's inherently feeling 'wrong' in the different format. So given that fundamentally problematic situation they did very well.
It won't hurt if you're familiar with the show, but it's not necessary I'd say.
In which an evil, possessed hand goes on a wee killing spree, including somehow transplanting itself, or it’s evil, on to a new victim.
Basically it’s Idle Hands, sans the comedy, and sans Jessica Alba’s derrière. But being a child of the 70’s and a horror, we do get Entirely Gratutious Knockers.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Body Melt
Australian body horror from the 90’s. Does exactly what the title suggests. Bonus points because Harold Bishop is the baddie, selling vitamins and that which have a rather deleterious affect upon the body. Like your knob exploding, head imploding, even your placenta becoming psychotic and sentient. As you do.
By no means a masterpiece. In fact it’s quite the mess of film making. But it remains relatively fun if daft gore is your thing.
Perhaps the most famous theatrical re-telling of the 47 Ronin and the fall of the Asano clan in Feudal Japan.
If you have never seen a serious Samurai movie before, this is a pretty good start. Sure, there is plenty of sword play and blood, but there is a lot of politics and maneuvering within what the code of honor allows.
I can see some people being bored with this one, but it does try to spice it up with explosions of violence every so often. However, it really is a solid piece of film making.
I’m a sucker for horror movies. Which means I watch more than my share of gakky movies…
Just watched a horror flick called The Offering, which came out in 2022. Wish I hadn’t. Not because it was scary, but because it sucked. Its got the actor that played Thoros of Myr from GoT, which is cool that he’s still getting work, but thats about all the praise I can give it.
It shows its hand right out of the gate and its mostly nothing but jump scares from start to finish. And not even good jump scares, but cheap ones. Its set in a Hasidic Jew funeral home, but aside from that, there’s nothing new here. Pretty cool looking demon, though.
Can’t really recommend.
If you want a good Hasidic Jew horror story, check out 2019’s The Vigil.
If you want a good funeral home horror movie, check out 2016’s The Autopsy of Jane Doe.
Tom Cruise and his hot redhead wife are care takers of a ruined Earth after a war with interstellar invaders and everyone has evacted to Titan (this already makes no sense since Earth seems pretty habitable, but more on that later). Tom is tormented with dreams of the pre-war Earth, before he was born, and a mysterious woman. But then Tom discovers his hot brunette dream wife in a cryo tube and stuff happens.
Spoiler:
Turns out there is no Titan colony, Tom works for the aliens and is a clone of an astronaut they captured and turned into their clone army. The aliens he thinks he's fighting are really human survivors.
Was there ever a movie as well named as this? I saw it 2 days ago and can barely remember it. Never heard a word about this film or a reference to it, even when it was in theaters, no one cares and no one should. Nice CGI ruins, even if they make no sense (how did the books in a library survive a nuclear war?). And the plot ALMOST works, but kind of doesn't. Another lavish, beautiful film that I will have no memory of by next month.
BobtheInquisitor wrote: If that was made back when General George Hammond was still alive, I expect the Wyvern effects to be really bad. Hopefully good bad.
They’re actually alright, as such things go. Way above Sharknado type awfulness. And? Amazingly. Blessedly. Miraculously? Used sparingly.
On reflection, it’s a surprisingly decent Monster Movie, focussing as the best ones do on the poor human sods experiencing a Brown Trouser Situation, figuring out a way to survive.
It’s not great of course, but it is enjoyable enough. And I freely admit it was Prime’s super short, nigh enigmatic description that made me watch it!
Description on Amazon Prime? “They find a Wyvern living in the USA”…..
A few minutes in and we’ve seen the Wyvern eat a fishermen, and General George Hammond just witnessed a Moose head fall from the sky.
So? So far, so good.
This sounds like a 2014 Asylum film. I imagine a LOT of aerial shots of forests and a lot of a handful of people (one of them famous) walking through a wood. Come to think of it, I think I entirely base this on the film Pterodactyl, starring Parker Lewis.
Pretty much! It’s surprisingly not terrible overall.
Speaking of surprisingly not terrible?
House of Wax
The one with Paris Hilton and Sam Winchester. Pretty bog standard turn of the century teen slasher fare. Quite low on gore, but it’s largely alright if you’ve nothing more pressing on your watch list.
It improves greatly once we’re down to the last two teens, but the first half drags it down.
Top moment?
Carly smacks main villain Bo in the jaw with a baseball bat. And. She. Doesn’t. Stop. She keeps going, smacking seven shades of smelly stuff out of him. Probably not the first movie to have a sensible heroine, but satisfying to see all the same. And credit to the crew for making each strike look and feel painful.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Superhost
It’s another slasher about awful “influencers” getting their comeuppance.
Very small cast, but a decent enough film, with a most definitely memorable villain. Clearly utterly hatstand, but in an almost disarmingly charming way.
I’d say give this one a watch if you enjoy Slashers, unless you have an (entirely understandable) aversion to “influencers” in general.
Automatically Appended Next Post: The Lair
Random Prime find. Wasn’t expecting much. Then the opening credits say “produced by Neil Marshall”…followed by “directed by Neil Marshall”.
This…this is Neil “I made Dog Soldiers, me. And The Descent. And the episode of GoT with the attack on the wall. And Doc’s favourite guilty pleasure Doomsday” Marshall…..essentially doing Resident Evil.
You know this going to be better than good. It’s Neil Marshall for heaven’s sake!
Lost Highway - 1997.
I bought the sound track way back when...
David Lynch serves up a weird one. I didn't really get it for a long time but say a video not too long ago explaining it a bit, more of a theory video I guess. It is a lot less confusing with those ideas about the characters in mind. Honestly everything's there to figure out.
I decided to watch this again this evening because I had been working on a few memes with the mystery man from this movie. Bad memes that make me laugh.
I think over all it's a good movie David Lynch in general can be difficult to digest. I really like that he uses so many of the same actors in is movies and again in Twin Peaks. It's fun to see those same faces acting together even in other films.
A very visually interesting film, with lots of unique looking vegetation.
Plot started out with a lot of potential, however it didn't seem to be enough to really grab me. A few common tropes on display, also made it hard to warm to it.
Shame as there felt like there was initially a good story in this, just not the one we ended up with.
Ending felt a bit anti climatic as well as quite rushed.
Came away from watching it and felt that the film was leaning too heavily on its visuals to carry the film and not the story. Could be that I am at an age where not much feels new and fresh story wise.
Take a thumbnail sketch of the thinking behind Cabin In The Woods, reformat it as an anthology where each segment provides a resident for "the cabin" and make it for a lot less money.
Plays more heavily with the "meta" concept than even the Scream series, and leans more heavily into the comedy part of comedy-horror, this film does a surprising amount with very little, it's just a shame that it peaks quite early in its runtime and then seems to run out of steam a little.
Simultaneously feels like watching a good quality 80s straight-to-video release while lampooning 80s era straight-to-video movies, this isn't one to promote to the top of the must watch list, but is a credible option if you're scratching about for something to watch.
The theatrical version is one of the best movie musicals, and especially one of the best movie adaptations of a Broadway musical ever. The director’s cut is superior. Not only is it more thematically consistent, but it also has a fantastically dark pay off to a character’s establishing song, a couple gut punch scenes, and an top notch kaiju sequence.
Latter Day Sequel, but one of the Genuinely Good Ones.
Part love letter from a son to his father, it has plenty of the original’s DNA, but isn’t afraid to be its own thing as well.
The young cast are particularly good in their roles, being convincing and charming. And the movie takes just enough time to show us their Special Skills And Abilities without bludgeoning anyone around the head with it.
The cameos are spot on. No tacked on “hi kids, it’s meeeee” type ‘member berries, no hand wringing modernisation of their personalities. And boy did they do right by Harold Raimis. It’s about as tasteful as digital resurrection can be, and like the other cameos doesn’t feel superfluous or tacked on, but a necessary part of the story, so far as such things can be described as necessary.
Post credit scenes are also fun, serving as part closure, part leaving the door open for further spooky adventures. Particularly Janine and Winston’s scene. Part tease, part genuine old friends having a catch up, in and out of universe.
We can only hope the next film (theoretically out at the end of the year) continues the trend. God knows I want more.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Gods of Egypt
Nevermind Horus’ eyes. I wanted my eyes gouged out just minutes into this bloody awful movie.
It’s as if the cast took part due to some debt, but in an act of Faustian rebellion gave terrible performances an act of artistic dirty protest.
Terrible. Utterly without any redemptive qualities. It of course got an awful lot of flak for near completely white washing the Egyptian Pantheon. But if anyone is wondering if it got panned by “woke” rest assured it got panned because it’s crap.
Wakanda Forever is coming on Disney+ tomorrow. Saw it in the cinema, with mild disruption from teenaged idiots who seemed to have confused the auditorium with a debating chamber.
I look forward to a one man showing tomorrow evening.
Starring Jeff Goldblum, Cyndi Lauper, Peter Faulk, Julian Sands, and with a small roll for Steve Buscemi, it’s worth seeing just for the cast bouncing off each other.
It’s an adventure comedy about a con man (Faulk’s Harry) tricking psychics Nick and Sylvia into traveling to South America in search of a lost city. The rapid one-liners and limitd action out it closer to Ghostbusters than Indiana Jones. While there aren’t a whole lot of laugh out loud moments, the movie is amusing enough to keep a smile on your face the entire way through.
Also, the end credits feature Lauper‘a second-best tie in song after Goonies ‘R’ Good Enuff.
Someone actually did some homework on Pre-WW1 history and made the story fit in with it. Bravo. To bad, the movie is kind of dull.
The Editor The blurb says: A film editor is linked to a series of murders
As a plot summary, that sums it up nicely. However, that blurb is a trap! This movie's plot summary needs to add: A film editor is linked to a series of murders. This film was made by someone who had mainlined too many Giallo and Italian horror films, after reading all of Lovecrafts works. Therefore, it is full of WTF moments, odd sexual fetishes, and what is the nature of reality moments. Oh, it also has an Udo Kier cameo."
Starring Jeff Goldblum, Cyndi Lauper, Peter Faulk, Julian Sands, and with a small roll for Steve Buscemi, it’s worth seeing just for the cast bouncing off each other.
It’s an adventure comedy about a con man (Faulk’s Harry) tricking psychics Nick and Sylvia into traveling to South America in search of a lost city. The rapid one-liners and limitd action out it closer to Ghostbusters than Indiana Jones. While there aren’t a whole lot of laugh out loud moments, the movie is amusing enough to keep a smile on your face the entire way through.
Also, the end credits feature Lauper‘a second-best tie in song after Goonies ‘R’ Good Enuff.
Oh, I once watched the first third or so of that film! I like Cindy Lauper. She's got pluck and moxie to equal measures. And of course one heck of a voice, but that's a given.
(second-best tie in song of hers of course is Taffy Butt)
edit: I gave the song (Hole in my heart, Vibes Version) it a listen now. It does rock.
Not great movies. Both kind of play out as extended, two parter TNG episodes.
But. In recent, post-Picard years? They kind of find more of a place.
The Federation Admiral’s kind-of dodging the Prime Directive to claim the planet. Why the Son’a were given help. All dovetails into the losses suffered against the Borg and Dominion.
Nemesis showing the beginning of the downfall of Romulus, and telling us more about post-Dominion war Quadrant Politics.
They’re not suddenly elevated to being more than passable at best. But they have found more of a footing now they’re not the tail end of Trek.
Automatically Appended Next Post: On The Line
Straight to Streaming Mel Gibson thriller vehicle.
Whilst it seems to have a pretty dire rating on IMDB et al, I rather enjoyed it. It’s not massively original in itself, but it does have a fairly simple premise.
HEAVY SPOILERS
Spoiler:
Strongly reminiscent of The Game, with Michael Douglas, but more claustrophobic. The baddie being heard, but not seen is an interesting touch. I suspect it’s been done before, but if it has its by a film I’ve not seen.
Wes ends up at a remote rest stop after a breakup and finds himself locked inside the bathroom. When a mysterious figure begins speaking from an adjacent stall, Wes soon realizes he's involved in a situation more terrible than he could ever imagine.
Rented from I-tunes because of this blurb, otherwise went in blind, other than knowing JK Simmons and Ryan Kwanten (True Blood) were in it. Seemed like something different and man... it was something different.
A seemingly heartbroken man down on his luck, an inescapable rest stop bathroom(horrifying enough on its own), a mysterious all knowing voice, eldritch horrors bent on the destruction of all life in the universe and... a glory hole. A low budget dark sci-fi comedy. Ryan Kwanten was adequate (he's like a discount store brand version of Ryan Reynolds) and JK Simmons as the mysterious voice was great.
Kind of ran a bit longer then it should have, given the relatively simple premise, but it was vulgar/witty funny most of the time.
I knew a glory hole would be involved. I just knew it.
The description reminds me of the time I was using the stall in Sproull Hall, looked over and saw the glory hole and the scrawled “3:00”, then checked my watch and saw it was 2:50.
You ever see a video of a squid jettison its ink and get tf out of there?
Maybe the best movie out in the cinema at the moment. That said, if you want a feel-good movie starring Tom Hanks; go find the Mr. Rogers bio-pic instead. This is passable, but nothing special.
In the Mouth of Madness
Now this.... this is something that you should see.
Not bad for a computer game adaptation, but a so-so movie.
I think the main problem was I just don't buy Tom Holland as an action hero outside of playing Spider-man.
This movie came out in 1984, and while some elements of it hasn't aged well. And it comes off a bit low budget by todays standards. I pity anyone who survives a nuclear war. Must watch if you're looking for anxiety fuel.
This movie came out in 1984, and while some elements of it hasn't aged well. And it comes off a bit low budget by todays standards. I pity anyone who survives a nuclear war. Must watch if you're looking for anxiety fuel.
I remember watching Threads when it came out in 1984 - it was shocking and controversial at the time, haven't watched it for years though so might give it a re-watch.
This movie came out in 1984, and while some elements of it hasn't aged well. And it comes off a bit low budget by todays standards. I pity anyone who survives a nuclear war. Must watch if you're looking for anxiety fuel.
I also re-watched this and The Day After late last year.
It is easy to forget, that there is no reason to believe that the threat of Nuclear Warfare has passed. Yet here we are, acting like it has passed because the Cold War is over.
Because we can’t watch objectively good films all the time.
So far, so turn of the century saucy romp flick.
It’s not awful, but it’s not good. I’d say it’s perfectly serviceable brain bubblegum, and I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that.
Plus it’s got Vinny “a surprisingly good actor, all things considered” Jones in it.
Automatically Appended Next Post: The Basement / The Hoarder
2015 Mischa Barton horror movie, set in a Self Storage.
It’s…good enough. Somewhat tropey, but an enjoyable bit of silliness.
Automatically Appended Next Post: World War Z
Oh what a wretchedly uneven movie. It’s few bright spots buried under a mountain of tripe and internal inconsistencies.
For instance…..we’re shown infection takes mere seconds to complete. Yet we’re told it started somewhere near South Korea and India.
So….how did it get to the USA and catch everyone with their pants down? The usual Zombie thing of hiding your bite doesn’t work. And how did a Zombie get aboard the plane out of Israel without anyone noticing, and successfully stash itself for the flight to Wales?
Brad “The Jinx” Pitt says he needs to get to the nearest WHO facility - and knows why, but apparently “doesn’t have time to explain”. Cobblers! He’s on a plane! He’s got nothing but time. He hands over no useful information at all.
The final part of the.. comprehensive? seems inadequate, but will have to suffice, documentary on 80s horror.
Much like parts 1 and 2, this is only for those with a genuine interest, collectively I think all 3 approach 15 hours. The going isn't heavy, with the run time neatly parted up by year, and with each movie given a few minutes of discussion before moving on to the next.
Consequently the viewer is never bombarded by too many strands of information to keep track of, and is also offered plenty of "out points" in which to take a break and return later. (All in all it probably took me 4 days to a week to watch each part.)
The depth on offer is such that I'd honestly be surprised if even those that consider themselves dedicated fans have heard of, let alone seen, a significant percentage of the films covered, and, having failed to do so myself, I'd highly recommend keeping an app or notepad handy to make a note of those that catch your eye, you will not remember them later.
Film footage is interspersed with a dream cast of talking heads, ranging from specialist journalists working for the likes of Fangoria, to cast and crew who were there to big names like John Carpenter or Robert England, while the same caveat I applied to the earlier parts about runtime applies, if your interest is even slightly piqued by the topic you cannot fail to be educated and entertained by these films.
Yeah, that film rocks. Bob's Burgers recently referenced it at length (in a slightly clumsy fashion though, I thought).
I greatly enjoy Vinnie Jones in films, Eurotrip I will not watch. Didn't even watch Road Trip. I did watch Boat Trip though. Well, about two thirds or so. Not that it matters.
Me, I watched the beginning of M (the Fritz Lang one). Loved it, love the way people talk, amazing stuff. Very soon though I got anxious and had to stop. But I'll give it another go soon once the weather's a bit more spring-like. Either way - supergood film, it's on youtube.
Often claimed to be an exploitation flick, I’d say it’s more a horror.
The plot is a wee bit tropey, but plays with them in interesting ways. And for a late 70’s movie, pretty (oh no!) “woke” even by today’s standards.
Suffice to say the plot is of enough interest that I can’t really say much about it without risking spoiling some of its impact.
Definitely give this one a watch!
Automatically Appended Next Post: Now?
Now I’m going to make a bold, but I expect not particularly controversial, statement of what I believe to be Fact.
Airplane! is the greatest comedy movie ever.
It is of course at heart a spoof of Airport, a curiously sort-of-forgotten disaster movie from the time when disaster movies and wearing an onion on your belt was the fashion at the time.
Yet…one doesn’t need to have seen Airport to get many of Airplane!’s jokes.
The whole thing is so incredibly densely packed. Visual gags. Verbal gags. Overly literal humour (adopt crash positions is probably my favourite joke ever). It’s genuinely so packed with jokes that every time you watch it, you spot something new.
And like a good spoof/satire, the more you see of the films and tropes it’s sending up, the more of its jokes you get. But as I said above, it has so many jokes you can watch it isolation and still wet yourself laughing,
The laughs are also varied. Groans. Giggle. Titters. Proper belly laughs.
I wouldn’t even call it a Jack Of All Trades comedy, becuase it’s the Master Of All Trades. Well, all the trades it embraces.
It’s smart. It’s dumb. It’s witty. It’s droll. It’s tongue in cheek, but plays it straight.
It’s just an absolute masterwork, tour de force of cinematic comedy.
I’d say the world needs more of that type of movie. But looking at its many, many imitators? We really don’t. Because most of them were crap.
Agreed on Airplane! In my opinion it has the best sight gag ever committed to celluloid, when the pilot dramatically takes off his shades while declaiming about something AND HAS ANOTHER PAIR ON UNDERNEATH! And he does it in glorious deadpan.
A delightfully silly slapstick action splatter fest. I haven't grinned this much for the entire duration of such a middling film since the first Kingsmen movie.
I found comparisons with another show that didn't spare the ketchup, The Hateful 8: a film I have previously raged about for it's amazing characters being thrown away by an incompetent finale. Bullet Train's cast of rogues aren't quite as good but the adventure they go on and the conclusion are much better.
I also thought of Hateful 8 while watching Bullet Train, but the difference for me is that I found H8 to be a boring slog of a borefest (QT just had his head up his own ass on that one) but Bullet Train? Bullet Train won't win an Oscar but who cares? Bullet Train is fun.
The only complaint I'd make is that it's runtime maybe is too long, but it's not like I didn't enjoy every minute of it.
It also made me think a lot of Smoking Aces, another movie with more style than substance but was just plain fun so only silly billys complained IMO
A delightfully silly slapstick action splatter fest. I haven't grinned this much for the entire duration of such a middling film since the first Kingsmen movie.
I found comparisons with another show that didn't spare the ketchup, The Hateful 8: a film I have previously raged about for it's amazing characters being thrown away by an incompetent finale. Bullet Train's cast of rogues aren't quite as good but the adventure they go on and the conclusion are much better.
My wife and I compared it more to some Guy Ritchie stuff like Snatch, or Lock Stock, but yes. . . Bullet Train was some crazy good fun for what it is.
I only saw Airplane last year for the first time, but it's really, really good. I even enjoyed Spaceship (which by chance I caught on TV just a few weeks later). Apart from the variety and density of gags you get with Airplane, as pointed out before, I think the main reason why the spoof films of the past (ie up to the mid-90s) are so much stronger than the abysmal stuff that followed in the early 2000s is that they didn't take the audience as being so stupid as to not get a joke unless they linger on it. The only reason one would need dedicated and multiple shots of reaction faces is if the filmmakers either don't believe in the gag or they take the audience to be too thick to get it unless they're being told that this was funny now.
Not to mention all the background stuff, the throwaway gags, and so on. Airplane is just funny.
I only ever saw Top Secret about 1.5 times. They never showed it much on German-speaking TV due to all the Eastern Germany stuff, but it not only reminded me how good a lead Val Kilmer used to be, but also what a musical performer he is. Good stuff.
Just becuase I'll also mention a personal all-time favourite of mine (and a later spoof film), Loaded Weapon 1. Good fun. Oh, and I have a soft spot for Scary Movie 2 for some reason. Can't remember why, but it helps if you like Anna Faris. The hat joke in Scary Movie 3 is also remarkably good, because a.) it comes out of nowhere, b.) it's not being referenced or acknowledged by the characters, c.) it's a daft and funny visual that works for everybody.
Mockney Hack Guy Richie returns with another distinctly average at best crime thriller. It’s still got Jason Statham in it, but this time it’s a Right Royal Not-Cockney Barrel of Monkeys because it’s set in the US of A.
As I said, this is distinctly, almost painfully, average at best. There’s nothing particularly wrong with it (apart from maybe Evil Trevor out of Eastenders doing a really bad accent). It’s just…..average. As if someone actively tried to make an average film, made it 17 times, and took the most average scenes from each.
How average? I actually expected more from Mr Statham.
Best bit? Post “I don’t see what all the fuss is about” Malone and his stupid face tattoos gets all murdered to death by Jason Statham. That’s up there with Paris Hilton in Wax Works getting jobbed in Pointless Celebrity Catharsis.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Bad guys also have unfeasibly good body armour. Pistol and Rifle rounds pinging clean off, not even leaving a scratch or a dent,
For instance…..we’re shown infection takes mere seconds to complete. Yet we’re told it started somewhere near South Korea and India.
That is hysterical. In the book World War Z we're told outright the infection started in China. Hollywood has to be more circumspect. What country lies between Korea and India?
As if someone actively tried to make an average film, made it 17 times, and took the most average scenes from each.
Mad Doc you've definitely missed your calling as a reviewer. Siskel and Eibert wish they came up that line.
Grown up Bill and grown up Ted have spent the intervening years trying to fulfill their destiny, with little success. Just as the thought of giving up begins to dawn on them, the stakes suddenly escalate.
Despite the inevitable personnel changes, BATFTM manages to feel like it belongs in the series. Just as bonkers as the first two (and no more capable of standing up to scrutiny for anything resembling continuity,) things march along at breakneck speed without giving the viewer too much time to pause and consider the lunacy. The "twist" is pretty much obvious from the very beginning, but what matters here is the (totally unbogus) journey. 90 minutes of uncynical, light-hearted stupidity that evokes just the right amount of nostalgia without feeling too mawkish.
Malignant
Few horror movie fans won't know the name James Wan. Arguably the most influential figure in the genre this century, having brought franchises like The Conjuring, Insidious and Saw to the screen.
Understandably then, his return to the genre, after dabbling in blockbuster territory, was a matter of some interest.
What a shame that it's a steaming pile.
It starts well enough, apparently treading the well worn path of parental/pregnancy anxiety, a theme which has given us classics like Rosemary's Baby and Alien, but quickly shows it's heading in a different direction.
Wan's direction is possibly the only redeeming element, the whole thing does look good, shots are framed creatively. My favourite sequence following the heroine through the house from the top down, looking for all the world like a dark and spooky clip from 80s arcade dungeon crawler Gauntlet.
But it's the third act that really kills this movie. Nobody watches horror expecting unrelenting realism, but the whole premise of the reveal stretched my credulity so far as to start to become unintentionally funny, which is the death knell for any horror.
I daresay if Wan's name wasn't attached, my expectations would have been lower and perhaps my reaction more positive. That's pretty much the only basis I could suggest anyone watch it in all honesty, with very low expectations. Then perhaps the superior direction and cinematography will make the time investment feel better spent.
On face the music, Little Bill and Little Ted slot in beautifully, being convincing chips off the old block, without the movie being about them specifically.
Bill and Teds plan, without Rufus giving a helping hand is predictably well meaning, but daft. Yet our two idiot heroes still manage to just about understand the possibilities of time travel to get the job done.
I don’t think I can truly say it’s as instant cult/classic as the first two, but it’s still a welcome addition all the same.
In fact, I’d induct into the Church of Latter Day Sequels. It doesn’t really add much, and it’s far from necessary to see it to appreciate the originals, it by no means detracts from them, or attempts to be ironic about them.
My big reservation would be how it plays to an audience that hasn't grown up with the other two, but that's not me and I can only call it how I see it as a person who did.
Batman 1989 again.
Still my favorite batman movie.
I'm also disgusted to be of an age where Hollywood can be so predatory using things I really liked as a kid to try to draw me into a movie I don't want to see. - The Flash.
But it did get me to want to sit down and watch this one again.
Part of me wonders what this movie would have been like if David Lynch had directed it.
More cops in donut shops probably. Almost worth it.
A delightfully silly slapstick action splatter fest. I haven't grinned this much for the entire duration of such a middling film since the first Kingsmen movie.
I found comparisons with another show that didn't spare the ketchup, The Hateful 8: a film I have previously raged about for it's amazing characters being thrown away by an incompetent finale. Bullet Train's cast of rogues aren't quite as good but the adventure they go on and the conclusion are much better.
My wife and I compared it more to some Guy Ritchie stuff like Snatch, or Lock Stock, but yes. . . Bullet Train was some crazy good fun for what it is.
I see Bad “I do wish people would stop encouraging the talentless goon” Bunny is in it.
If he doesn’t get all ded, so I can get my safe catharsis of seeing the pointless suffer without actually suffering, I’m not watching it.
Let’s be honest. The film’s notoriety outstrips its competency.
But as a foundation of a new strain of horror? It has its unpleasant place.
Looking back however, there were movies of presumably equally unpleasant notoriety I saw as an adult, and thought were no great shakes.
Think Psycho, A Clockwork Orange, Night of the Living Dead, The Exorcist et Al.
Except the films mentioned above are objectively good.
Hostel is pure Shock Factor. Nothing more, nothing less. Boobs, violence, gore and not much more.
That does have its place, but unlike the aforementioned “video nasty” predecessors, it lacks the charm and social commentary. Unpleasant people are unpleasant, and in turn, unpleasant things happen to them. And that’s yer lot.
I’m not sure if it’s a master stroke, or accidental vague competence, but I find myself rooting more for the (utterly awful) baddies, than the moronic ‘goodies’.
As a dedicated gorehound I do appreciate its overall atmosphere, and the effects are well done.
But….it asks no relevant or salient questions of its audience, distracted as it is by just trying to be as nasty as possible.
I’d like to say “it’s been done better”. But torture prawn is such a low rent approach to horror, it all blends into one.
Except Saw and maybe it’s first couple of sequels. Hamfisted as Saw gets, it at least had some form of vague point behind it all.
Low budget, not low effort. Pretty damned entertaining with some fun effects.
Creepshow
You want to see Leslie Nielsen as a straight man villain? This is the movie for you. Also starring Stephen King. First segment is iffy, but the rest is good fun.
Low budget, not low effort. Pretty damned entertaining with some fun effects.
Creepshow
You want to see Leslie Nielsen as a straight man villain? This is the movie for you. Also starring Stephen King. First segment is iffy, but the rest is good fun.
Those are both fun.
Don't for get to look for Creepshow 2.
I never did see the next Tales from the Crypt movie after demon Knight. I think it's called Bordello of blood.
Never really saw Hostel as it is not my thing. However, isn't the gimmick behind it that the people doing all the killing and torturing are pretty much bored rich folks? Therefore, it is a ham-fisted metaphor for capitalism or social hierarchy or something?
The first one was just pushing boundaries without a particular point or message other than “humans can be awful”. An exercise solely in finding out just what you can get away with.
The third of course takes what little world building and realism the series had and flings it out the window.
While I'm sure in certain circles the name Phil Tippett gets all the recognition it warrants, given his contribution to visual effects it's somewhat remarkable he's not, at least from my experience, as well known as the likes of Harryhausen.
An Oscar winner, with credits on the original Star Wars trilogy, Jurassic Park, Robocop and many more (some admittedly more influential than others,) it surprises me that when I discovered that Mad God was his creation, the name rang only the faintest of bells.
If Mad God served no other purpose than to highlight the career of it's creator, then it would have served a purpose, but in reality it's a much more complex beast.
Firstly, it's been 30 (thirty) years in development! As Tippett's singular vision, he's only been able to work on it intermittently, and stop motion of any kind is hardly a quick process. It's also a feature length animation made for $150k, although I'm not sure if that's before or after 30 years of inflation.
It's really hard to judge what to talk about with a film this complex that's arguably had and even more complex production. There's enough on screen for a dissertation, let alone a brief review.
It's almost impossible to talk succinctly when it comes to what this film is about, to explain what it depicts would be challenging enough.
The briefest synopsis is that a mysterious figure lowers a seemingly endless stream of creatures (The Assassins) into hell one by one in an apparent attempt to complete a mission the objective of which is unclear aside from it appears to require explosives.
It's the visuals that are the reason to watch though. Following the Assassin's progress ever deeper into the pit reveals increasingly bizarre and disturbing activities and creatures like nothing else I've seen. Think Terry Gillingham adapting Clive Barker, or possibly the reverse.
90 minutes of stop motion animation with zero dialogue and no talking Chickens or a Yorkshire man and his dog won't be for everyone, it took me two sessions myself, and Mad God will likely remain an oddity in the history of cinema. But as a testament to one man's vision and dedication (and perhaps one of the most compelling interpretations of The Warp in any media anywhere) Mad God is worthy of note.
Low budget, not low effort. Pretty damned entertaining with some fun effects.
Creepshow
You want to see Leslie Nielsen as a straight man villain? This is the movie for you. Also starring Stephen King. First segment is iffy, but the rest is good fun.
Bordello of Blood used to be on surprisingly often back in t'day of the late 90s 'round here, and it's a lovely film. I'm pretty sure I'd see Demon Knight, but I don't remember anything. But I've been trying to hunt it down last year, couldn't find it. May have to buy the DVD. Last DVD I bought was Deep Rising (along with Streets of Fire for the second time, because I couldn't find my DVD any more).
Creepshow is cool. Last segment may be problematic for some people, but come the heck on. It's good.
What a day! 7yo is off on a brownie camp, so we blackmailed the 10yo to watch Back to the Future.
Now this little one is a touch neurodivergent and has never connected with films that much, so his little sister rules the movie night roost with much younger films he isn’t interested in.
It’s such a good film. Watching him enjoy it, especially the gloriously cringey bits, was a sight to see. It’s such perfect entertainment
Fair. To me it’s cheesy funfunfun. But of course you’ll know your son better than anyone.
Though proper props as ever to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A movie which had absolutely no reason to worry about actually being good because Wee Me and millions like me just wanted to see More Turtles. Instead we get a shockingly competent Kung-Fun movie.
Sod it. That’s going up the spout tonight, because it’s genuinely good!
Automatically Appended Next Post: Chronicles of Riddick
By all rights? This should’ve sucked more than a super massive blackhole.
A late sequel to a slightly better than middling but otherwise disposable ropey SciFi monster flick.
It lifts so much from a variety of other films.
It should be an absolute, incoherent mess of a movie.
But it’s just…not. It’s fun. It’s thrilling. It’s interesting.
I’d call it a Guilty Pleasure, but there’s no reason to feel guilty about enjoying it.
For horror anthologies, my favorite has always been Tales From the Darkside. I rewatch some of the segments on YouTube every now and then, and they hold up.
Masters of the Universe rules, if you’re looking for guilty low-budget fun. Same with Super Mario Brothers, really. They both work better for kids who are unfamiliar with the original source material.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Chronicles of Riddick feels like a mediocre film adaptation of a really good book. It has that weird combination of over-convoluted backstory and over-simplified main story that makes David Lynch’s Dune so good/bad.
Funny, just the other night a friend of mine showed Back to the Future to her son for the first time.
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote: ... Though proper props as ever to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A movie which had absolutely no reason to worry about actually being good because Wee Me and millions like me just wanted to see More Turtles. Instead we get a shockingly competent Kung-Fun movie...
That's quite true. Even as a kid I never liked TMNT, but a friend showed me the film and that kinda won me over. At least for the film. And I'm glad I never saw the sequels until I was MUCH older.
Masters of the Universe I may have seen around the same time. I was pretty excited when it came on TV, had my parents videotape it for me. Next day I watched it and was pretty disappointed. I was hoping for a beefy 80s action swordy stuff (wasn't familiar nor did i care very much for He-Man [i probably was a bit too old as well], but the film looked different from the tiny pictures in the tv magazine. Instead we got this kinda sad mess. I haven't seen the film in a while, but I have yet to watch it once and enjoy the ride. Very much the same with Super Mario Brothers. And don't get me started on the people who think that the Street Fighter film was any fun.
As always when it comes to Cannon films though, I highly suggest watching all the documentaries on Cannon films and Menahem Golan.
Many of the horror anthology things especially never made it here I'm afraid. The Tales from the Crypt films did, but I'm pretty sure that the show itself was never dubbed and shown on tv. Neither Tales from the Darkside. But I'll look it up on youtube if it's there!
That’s….that’s twice DiCaprio has played an Irish character, and just sort of…not bothered with the accent. No. Wait. He’s giving it a try! And……I think he’s just thought better of it.
Not fantastic but not bad either. Stallone delivered exactly what I expected, the main bad guy dude was at least interesting as well.
The kid not so much, could be the script or the actor. Just found him going from upset to nearly joyful is seconds most irksome. Don't like his face either, something about that kid is irritating to me.
As far as the movie it seemed like there should have been a bit more about the finale showdown between Samaritan and Nemesis but I can't tell for sure. The bit about the power station being a trap seemed to imply there should have been more said about that but wasn't.
Worth a watch I guess and it's better if you can fast forward here and there.
That’s….that’s twice DiCaprio has played an Irish character, and just sort of…not bothered with the accent. No. Wait. He’s giving it a try! And……I think he’s just thought better of it.
This film is long.
This film is boring.
For shame, Mr Scorcese. For shame.
I definitely don't think it's Scorsese's best work, but I still think it's pretty good. Daniel Day Lewis turned in an amazing performance as Billy the Butcher. Diaz is definitely miscast.
I personally think all of his films pale in comparison to The Departed, even Goodfellas.
Haven't watched that one in a while. I have fond memories so it may be worth a rewatch with a critical mind. I just remember Daniel Day Lewis owning everything in period costume and massive moustache, and that it wasn't one of DiCaprio's most stand out of performances.
Stanley Kubrick shows model spaceships while making “whoo-oooo-oooo” sounds at ear splitting volume (compared to speech). Random nonsense is interrupted by wooden planks (actors) describing space-mumbo-jumbo to each other. An infallible computer makes a mistake, and tries to kill the crew to cover it up. (?) Captain 2-by-6 sneaks back in through a door not controlled by the infallible computer. He kills the computer by pulling out the memory, resulting in a derpy rendition of a classic folk tune. Rather than abbandoning the mission, 2-by-6 arrives, finds the source of space magic, is teleported through space/time and is shown growing old and dying.
But wait! Space baby was behind it the whole time!
Review: If I wasn’t stuck in an airplane seat, I never would have finished without fast-forwarding through the boring parts, which should condense a future viewing to 25 mins, tops. If Kubrick is still alive, and you have the opportunity, please slap his face as hard as you can. While a cultural touch-stone, watching the film is a genuine pilgrimage filled with high expectations, long waits, much boredom, and no seeming purpose for the journey upon its completion.
Harsh, but almost fair. Stanley Kubricks's agenda for the movie was completely opposite to Arthur C. Clarke's take on the project.
So, as always, the book is better.
I love the movie when I first saw it, age 11, now as a grumpy old woman I see it as a beautiful snorefest showcasing Kubrick's ego.
Hadn't watched this one in a while and I know it gets dumped on a lot.
This is a move where the plot hardly matters and the characters IQ goes from 100 to 0 in the change of a scene.
It's at best nice to look at some times.
All we could do was face palm after ever plot whole or bad decision based on lack of actual decision making built on having a plan larger than showing up and knocking on the first door they see in the hopes some one is home.
Characters with tools at there disposal decide not to use them to further the plot and for no other reason. The expedition reportedly cost like a trillion dollars, give or take, and yet they have next to no tools available to put in any work for them, like areal drones. I get it you want to land the expensive ship because it is expensive to fly and all that, cool, got it. But good lord. They can easily see at least 3 or 4 more identical structures as they are landing and no one cares.
This ship of fools deserved everything they got it's some form of real time natural selection in action.
I do like David and I think he's the only meaningful bit in the whole movie and the next one as well. I did finally pick up on him deciding a course of action based on the answer to a question he posed to Dr. Holloway. I imagine he would have asked the same question to Dr. Shaw had dr. Holloway given a different answer. I'd never noticed David got his answer in the affirmative before deciding to put the droplet of goo in Dr. Holloway's drink before. Once could wonder what would have happened had he instead received a negative followed by another negative. But where's the fun in that. I'm such a buzz kill.
I remember I had actually liked this entry into the Alien franchise a bit more but I guess it's just a pile of gibberish stitched together and not much more than that.
This could have been a reasonably good movie if they had taken their time with it and thought things through. The concept isn't horrible.
I would watch a third installment if for no other reason than to see what shenanigans David gets up to. He's the best part of this little chunk of films.
Low rent, low budget, possibly home made Saw-a-like.
During lockdown, Aspiring Actor has a video audition for a role. We find out they’re a deeply unpleasant person (racist views, COVID denier etc). Only it turns out he’s being used as a Patsy to torture others going for the same role.
I’m half an hour in, and this just…cack. Bad acting. Boring direction. Frankly laughable script.
I’ll give it another 15 minutes, and if there’s not some clever twist I’m out.
This is a thoroughly engaging piece, even for someone like me who doesn't "get" rap music. The story focuses on the three most prominent members of NWA leaving the remaining cast less developed but it does help to keep things tight and moving. I feel like I've come away with a much clearer picture of why the rap scene was intertwined with violence and what effect it had on the people involved.
Even if you're tired of musical biographies after such hum-drum as Bohemian Raphsody I encourage you to give this a go as is it is far superior.
Low rent, low budget, possibly home made Saw-a-like.
During lockdown, Aspiring Actor has a video audition for a role. We find out they’re a deeply unpleasant person (racist views, COVID denier etc). Only it turns out he’s being used as a Patsy to torture others going for the same role.
I’m half an hour in, and this just…cack. Bad acting. Boring direction. Frankly laughable script.
I’ll give it another 15 minutes, and if there’s not some clever twist I’m out.
Sounds like a bad American remake of Audtion, the classic Japanese horror movie.
This is what happens when studios make horror films folks.
It's hard to say whether there was ever an interesting or unique idea in this story at any point, because sadly all we get is a formulaic, tired, by-the-numbers Conjuring lite.
The premise is promising enough I suppose. A down on his luck local news reporter witnesses a sequence of miracles, beginning with a young woman. Deaf since birth, she spontaneously begins to hear and speak, claiming to be in contact with the spirit of Mary, the mother of Christ. Needless to say, all isn't as it appears.
The cast is of reasonable quality too, Jeffery Dean Morgan takes the lead, with Cary Elwes in support, alongside a group of lesser known but perfectly competent performers.
But... absolutely nothing works. The creature, while clearly intended to be otherworldly and unnatural, veers close to humourous in places. The overreliance on jump scares rather than earned moments is bordering on contemptible, and largely falls flat thanks to an underlying lack of tension throughout.
There's nothing new here, but, worse, there's nothing good here. Studio money ensures competent production and performances (JDM is solid, but playing completely in his wheelhouse) but this movie isn't just a vanilla as it comes, it's just crushed ice.
I'd seen this movie referred to (somewhat unfairly it turns out) as 47 Metres Up.
It does succinctly convey the basic idea though. As opposed to two friends being trapped in a cage under the water with sharks patrolling the way back to the boat and air running out, Fall follows two friends trapped 2000 feet in the air with no way down.
Aside from mirroring the already tenuous plot of another film, it also utilises the time honoured "character (usually a woman) goes on trip/activity to somehow recover from a tragedy experienced while performing the same or very similar trip/activity" setup. I was thinking The Descent but as I write, I'm wondering if 47 Metres didn't do the same? Or was that a break up? Never mind, whatever.
The opening sequence doesn't necessarily fill the viewer with confidence either, with some decidedly unconvincing green screen work, which was sufficient to undermine any real sense of tension for me.
So on the face of it, Fall doesn't have much going for it.
But.
It absolutely nails every aspect of what it needs to do to be successful, namely conveying a sense of constant and immediate danger or dramatic tension by turns. The combination of acting and cinematography works brilliantly, I don't consider myself to have a problem with heights particularly, but I was kept in a state swinging from tense to outright anxiety all the way through.
There's things that one can pick at (the lead suffering an injury that would have incapacitated her long before she performs some impressive physical feats for an entirely fit person being the biggest.) But when a film has such a clear objective and nails it so completely, it's easy to cut it some slack.
Also worth mentioning some excellent supporting work from Jeffrey Dean Morgan and the vest tops that the girls are wearing for most of the runtime.
Unless you're terrified of heights, it's difficult not to recommend this movie, and as it's streaming on Netflix, it's an easy one to give a spin for a lot of us.
Nah, the main villain is some D-level extra whose main acting credit before this movie was playing one of Khans henchmen in The Wrath of Khan
Automatically Appended Next Post: Now, the german poster is what i call rad:
Text says: It is the PLACE of DEATH - and there is only one WAY to SURVIVE! Raising Hell
Now the UK-market cover for the german version - do not ask me why this exists, for i do not know - is just delightful:
Who are these badly-photoshopped people? I'm glad you asked, because they seem to be the people on the cover of the japanese release, and in fact to be completely unrelated to the actual actors:
OK. Escape was a slog. A joyless, dull, low rent, pointless load of old drivel.
It’s all been done before, and to much greater effect.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Better news though? The whole Kongzillaverse series is up on Prime.
I am of course kicking off with Kong, Skull Island
Man I love this film. As Peter Jackson himself proved, making a decent King Kong film isn’t all that easy. Where Jackson’s effort was overly long and bizarrely boring? I’d say this one nails it.
Serious when needed, but never taking itself overly seriously. And when it’s having some fun, it never veers into the ridiculous. But most importantly? It’s genuinely entertaining, and feels surprisingly fresh.
Kong Skull Island is the best of the Legendary Monster movies. Godzilla vs Kong gets pretty close, but has too much baggage from the previous Godzilla films.
Godzilla watched. Now on to Godzilla : King of the Monsters
I bloody love this series. It is by no means perfect. But, as something angling after a Shared Universe? They’ve blissfully taken their time, and churned out Objectively Good Movies.
They understand their source material and why that worked. They’ve updated it a bit, but kept their feet on the relevant ground.
Sure there is an obvious internal ranking, but even whichever you consider bottom of its pile? Is still a perfectly enjoyable if not superior slice of cinema nonsense.
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote: OK. Escape was a slog. A joyless, dull, low rent, pointless load of old drivel.
....
Okay, I'll refrain from looking it up then.
I just learned that there are 15 Puppet Master films (including a cross-over). Could it be the longest-running (in terms of number of sequels) horror film series?
BobtheInquisitor wrote: Kong Skull Island is the best of the Legendary Monster movies. Godzilla vs Kong gets pretty close, but has too much baggage from the previous Godzilla films.
I was expecting to be unimpressed by Kong Skull Island, I really enjoyed it though. Admittedly that might be more to do with the music than anything else. Can't go wrong with a bit of Creedance.
I just learned that there are 15 Puppet Master films (including a cross-over). Could it be the longest-running (in terms of number of sequels) horror film series?
A quick Google says yes, unless you only count movies with an actual cinematic release, in which case it's just a paltry 1 film.
Phantasm
One ticked off the "really should watch list."
Often held up as a prime example of the era, Phantasm really is everything you expect from a late 70s/early 80s horror.
We're a death and a close up on a heaving pair of boobs in before we hit the opening titles, and that more or less sets the tone.
The plot is actually surprisingly coherent, to a point. Young lad spots what he's convinced are weird creatures in the local cemetery. Lad breaks into funeral home to confirm suspicions, lad does indeed encounter weird things, including what are apparently rabid Jawas and the iconic flying sphere (if you're unfamiliar, I highly recommend seeking out some clips of it doing it's thing, "creative" barely seems sufficient) as well as the "Tall Man" which is the series' Freddie, Jason or Michael.
Lad then escapes with enough evidence to convince his (much) older brother that something is afoot, and the pair then resolve to do something about.
The "something" consists largely of hurtling around in a Dodge Charger with firearms, and it's only as we enter the final half hour do things really begin to go bonkers...
This movie is a lot of fun, so totally bonkers it's actually nearly impossible to tell what's a plot hole or bad effect and what's like that on purpose, and there's a bunch more of them! As long as you don't make the mistake of expecting a serious horror, or anything with a budget, then it's hard to see how Phantasm could disappoint.
(I've deliberately skipped some key details here, not only to avoid spoilers but also because I don't think you'd believe me.)
One of the problems with professional critiquing of all forms of art is that it is difficult to sum up the subject of the criticism without using some form of grading system. Then, with a five star system as an example, anything below four stars is usually ignored by the public.
So, Four Brothers (from way back in 2005). This is not a bad film, but not one I would recommend to watch unless there is nothing else on TV. It's a two and a half star at best. Four fostered boys, supposedly the most troubled cases encountered, come together as men to mourn the violent death of their mother. Seeking revenge for the killing they uncover a conspiracy that leads to lots of shooting and tough men being tough men.
And it's crap. The script is crap, the action scenes are particularly crap and the actors are putting in a lot of effort for little result. Chiwetel Ejiofor is desperately trying to channel his inner Denzel "American Gangster" Washington with laughable results (even more laughable given that that film didn't came out until two years later and is magnificent).
But what elevates it beyond being tepidly bad is that the set up, plot, pacing and conclusion are actually very good. Indeed, the script drops little nuggets of character interaction throughout that are given time to develop so that when we reach the show down the resolution makes sense and is satisfying.
What a strange film that, in spite of everything bad about it, is quite watchable.
2001: A Space Odyssey. A notoriously boring film that drags on, and on and Ariston...but its a wonderful vision of the future, which took just a little bit longer than 2001 to be realised, although we're REALLY behind on a moonbase and a trip to Jupiter.
Oh, and Monoliths. We'll have to figure those out at some point...
SamusDrake wrote: 2001: A Space Odyssey. A notoriously boring film that drags on, and on and Ariston...but its a wonderful vision of the future, which took just a little bit longer than 2001 to be realised, although we're REALLY behind on a moonbase and a trip to Jupiter.
Oh, and Monoliths. We'll have to figure those out at some point...
The thing that FINALLY got me over the hump and able to finish that slog was reading an article on the technical innovations that film introduced to the world. . . So at the end, I was able to sit down and watch the whole thing in one go because I was paying more attention to the "magic behind the curtain" than I was the actual story.
SamusDrake wrote: 2001: A Space Odyssey. A notoriously boring film that drags on, and on and Ariston...but its a wonderful vision of the future, which took just a little bit longer than 2001 to be realised, although we're REALLY behind on a moonbase and a trip to Jupiter.
Oh, and Monoliths. We'll have to figure those out at some point...
The thing that FINALLY got me over the hump and able to finish that slog was reading an article on the technical innovations that film introduced to the world. . . So at the end, I was able to sit down and watch the whole thing in one go because I was paying more attention to the "magic behind the curtain" than I was the actual story.
I tried to approach 2001 with an open mind, despite that I found it an absolute god-awful drag.
At the age of 42, you’d think I’d have seen this by now. But…you’d be wrong.
This is really rather good, isn’t it!
Automatically Appended Next Post: Guardians of the Tomb
Chinese blockbuster. Billed as “Jumanji meets The Mummy”.
It’s got Kelsey Grammar in it, and Li Bingbing. So not exactly short on starpower. But that being said, I do kind of suspect Mr Grammar particularly wanted some new drapes for his boudoir, or had perhaps received an unpleasant tax bill. Like when Anthony Hopkins was in that Bloody Awful Transformers Movie (no, not that one. That one).
His voice sounds really odd. Like he had to have a studio sessions to re-do lines.
I’m not holding out much hope, but I’m open to it being fun, rather than just ropey.
The final installment of the series prior to last year's softboot, Judgement is clearly aware it exists in a post James Wan, post Eli Roth world, and cuts its visual cloth accordingly.
This isn't an illogical move for the franchise, and by and large it works as far as it goes, anyone looking for any inspiration as to what a Slaanesh cult would really look like can do worse.
My chief complaint is that this feels like an existing movie that's been reworked to accommodate some Hellraiser lore, and not all that convincingly. At it's heart, there's a not terrible Se7en-lite serial killer film, which couldn't stand on its own two feet as is, but if it could have reclaimed some runtime from the Cenobite shenanigans doesn't feel irredeemable.
Equally, the Cenobite elements offer up some interesting ideas, if not exactly staggeringly insightful (how do you look for depraved souls when humanity itself is becoming more and more depraved as a whole?) But none of it feels like the film needs it to be there.
Both halves suffer from the barely 1h15m runtime, nothing feels fully explored or explained to the point where there's anything satisfying.
There's some attempt at world building and perhaps an attempt at setting up a sequel we now know we won't ever see, but while there's some worth elements that serve to move the franchise forward, Judgement is ultimately unsatisfying.
I just learned that there are 15 Puppet Master films (including a cross-over). Could it be the longest-running (in terms of number of sequels) horror film series?
A quick Google says yes, unless you only count movies with an actual cinematic release, in which case it's just a paltry 1 film.
Ha, good point. Which horror franchise would be the one with the one with the most cinematic releases then? Saw? There's 9 of those, right?
Halloween might get awfully close to that actually. (not sure if 4 got a cinematic release, 3 I assume did).
I'm not going to cheat just yet and just look it up, but Halloween I'm guessing at least 7, the first 3 originals, the reboot and then the more recent re-reboot adds another 3.
But I've just finished watching Crystal Lake Memories and I don't think a Friday 13th movie has ever been released straight to home media, so that's in the double digits.
Azreal13 wrote: I'm not going to cheat just yet and just look it up, but Halloween I'm guessing at least 7, the first 3 originals, the reboot and then the more recent re-reboot adds another 3.
But I've just finished watching Crystal Lake Memories and I don't think a Friday 13th movie has ever been released straight to home media, so that's in the double digits.
I did a tally in my head earlier, and thought 1, 2, 3 got a cinematic release (hard to imagine 4 and thereafter being in cinemas), H20, Resurrection, Rob Zombie, Rob Zombie 2, Halloween (no other title), Halloween Kills and probably another one you mentioned above in the latest reboot series. So 9 or 10.
I've never been a huge Friday 13th fan, so wouldn't know, but I'd be surprised if they all got cinematic releases. But it's not impossible.
I watched a film!
Starchaser The Legend of Orin (1985)
So I watched a documentary on Paul Verhoeven, they mentioned Flesh and Blood from 1985, which looked really interesting, I tried to look it up, youtube spat out a bunch of 1985 films. I'd never heard of Starchaser before, so I was intrigued. I watched it. It goes for a whopping 1hr40min, which is pretty long for an animated film. First film to use 3d computer technology too, which apparently tripled the initial budget to 6 mio. dollaridoos.
Anyway, it's about Orin who is a strapping young lad, but humanity seems to have been enslaved by robots and the robots have them mine energy crystals to keep the robots and the robot space fleet running. It reminded me of Robot Apocalypse ("it was AFTER the apocalypse...") and the scary 2-parter Outer Limits episode with the robot overlords. He finds the hilt of a sword whilst mining, he gets away, and for the first time sees the world outside the mines, meets scary monsters and colourful companions and then goes to experience Star Wars.
It's made in a such a way that I'm rather sure it hasn't been shown on TV or elsewhere since the early 1990s. Certain ideas were a bit weird.
My favourite character certainly was Fembot. She should have been the hero.
Anyway, it starts out rather interesting and charming, but ends up being a bit long and VERY MUCH Star Wars for the second half. Which is a shame.
Spoiler:
Very funny thing in the end is that Episode 1 seems to have gotten revenge on Starchaser to having taken lots of the original film by bascially referencing the villain's death with Darth Maul's death. A nice wink.
Hate to say it, but Pass. It's not very good.
Fun fact: Wikipedia cites a review of the film from White Dwarf magazine under the "Critical Reception":
Alex Stewart reviewed Starchaser: The Legend of Orin for White Dwarf #79, and stated that "if you're stuck with a houseful of brats on a rainy weekend, clamouring for some sanitised mayhem, then Starchaser's for you. It'll keep them quiet, and you'll probably find it amusing yourself".[7]
I just learned that there are 15 Puppet Master films (including a cross-over). Could it be the longest-running (in terms of number of sequels) horror film series?
A quick Google says yes, unless you only count movies with an actual cinematic release, in which case it's just a paltry 1 film.
Ha, good point. Which horror franchise would be the one with the one with the most cinematic releases then? Saw? There's 9 of those, right?
Halloween might get awfully close to that actually. (not sure if 4 got a cinematic release, 3 I assume did).
Without cheating and checking online, Alien/Predator has to have the most theatrical releases - 4 mainline Alien movies, 2 AvPs, 2 Alien Prequels, and 5 Predator movies for 13 installments, and I think they were all released in cinemas.
Just showed this modern classic to my son. He enjoyed it. The violence might be the only thing that didn’t age well, specifically the lobby shoot-out scene. The response was less “so cool” and more “those poor people”.
All the darkness and rain and skulking about in derelict buildings really made me want to watch Dark City again.
@Azreal13: I'm inclined to agree. I mean somehow studios like to squeeze the two into the same stories for some reason, but i'd say that they are two separate franchises.
@BobtheInquisitor: The bit about the violence is very interesting. But yeah, good film. Holds up, doesn't it?
Ice Cream Man (1995)
Clint Howard plays the titular ice cream man who's had a rough past and how either kills or protects children. It's complicated.
In fact, it's weirdly complicated for a 1995 (kids?) horror comedy that cost 2 million dollars, at least the main character is. It's almost as if they weren't sure whether to make him a bad guy (for one straightforward film) or a good guy (possibly for sequels?). He's mostly a troubled bad guy though.
There were some things I liked. Like the cameraderie of the kids, facing a world in which the grown-ups are mostly useless or crazy.
There were some bad things. Like the production value, some of which looked incredibly cheap.
Then there were some bewildering things, like the 'fat kid' being a kid in a fat suit for 85 minutes. They couldn't find a fat kid actor in the US in the 1990s? Another bewildering thing: Jan-Michael Vincent playing one of the two cops who investigate the disappearance of a kid.
Pass. It's not really scary, it's kinda endearing at times, but mostly it's just meh.
The way we view Gun violence has shifted a lot since then. There weren’t so many stories that began with two loners carrying a duffel bag full of guns into building back then, so the audience was primed a little differently. The 80’s and 90’s were full of heroes mowing down hordes of faceless goons, and audiences wouldn’t bat an eye.
Sequelitis bites - but perhaps not as hard as its reputation suggests.
The original is of course superior, and frankly probably should’ve been a One And Done. But studio gonna studio and churn out sequels.
There are the makings of a genuinely decent sequel here though. It builds on the original premise and mythos well enough. The supporting cast and villain are pretty solid. But our leading man just doesn’t quite have the charisma. Rather than Doing A Bond and delivering his own take on our hero, we instead get Vincent Perez playing Brandon Lee playing Eric Dracen - and not terribly well.
Now that could be a fault of direction and what have you, it the end result is a dodgy performance. Not helped that in certain scenes where he’s trying to play it cool, he unfortunately resembles Richard Richard from Bottom, as the smile is less confident and more manic.
BobtheInquisitor wrote: The way we view Gun violence has shifted a lot since then. There weren’t so many stories that began with two loners carrying a duffel bag full of guns into building back then, so the audience was primed a little differently. The 80’s and 90’s were full of heroes mowing down hordes of faceless goons, and audiences wouldn’t bat an eye.
well, that's nice. I assume the next step is to view guns as something that's maybe carried by police and otherwise only happens in films and fantasy. Maybe then we get the full circle and have silly fun with violence again.
Either way - matrix is a cool film and holds up. I just wish there hadn't been any sequels.
@Easy E: I think Titan A.E. was a different film. Starchaser is from 1985 and I think that Titan A.E. was pretty well, received, wasn't it?
BobtheInquisitor wrote: I saw a double feature of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within and Kiss of the Dragon In the theater. What a waste of a day.
Now there's a time capsule.
I think we talked about The Spirits Within a few pages ago. Indeed I also saw it at the cinema, because ...well, what Easy E said. (Heck, I've also seen The Patriot and Pearl Harbor at the cinema. The former I remember quite vividly, because while waiting for the thing to start we got our Vampire: The Masquerade character sheets out in the lobby and worked on our characters. As you do. ) Also, I remember a 'big debate' around the release of that film, and Tom Hanks being very concerned, that CGI might replace actual proper actors in the near future.
Speaking of Kiss of the Dragon - what do we think of Jet Lee? I Never quite got the appeal beyond the very impressive athletic stuff the guy's able to do.
I enjoyed Titan AE. The soundtrack was great and got me through a fair chunk of Uni.
Final Fantasy looks gorgeous, but doesn't make a great deal of sense beyond that. Especially as a Final Fantasy movie, as it doesn't seem to link to any of the games. Still, I'm always happy to listen to Donald Sutherland.
In order to discuss Jet Li, I need to start with Jackie Chan (and to some extent Chow Yun Fat).
Jet Li basically followed Jackie Chan’s footsteps from Hong Kong stardom to US …attempted stardom. (Did he go before or after Chow Yun Fat?)
Jackie Chan was already a household name before any of his movies ever hit US theaters. His first for-US release was Rumble in the Bronx, which felt like one of his Hong Kong films that had not been watered down. Sure, it took place in the Bronx, but it was some outside-view Hong Kong version of the Bronx that added to the charm of his movie. He released a couple other HK style movies before the Tuxedo, which felt like a watered-down-for-westerners version of a Jackie Chan movie. Fortunately for him, he was able to use his stunt, martial arts and comedic strengths in breakout hits like Shanghai Noon and Rush Hour.
Jet Li…not so much.
He was also a household name for his martial arts films, but his big US theater debut was Romeo Must Die. Romeo Must Die was…well, it was watered down action with a heap of unfortunate ‘sub’ text. His follow up, Kiss of the Dragon was bad. He did well as the villain in Lethal Weapon 4, but he never made anything like a Shanghai Noon in his oeuvre. He’s still a star, but almost in spite of his lack of hit movies or iconic roles.
Chow Yun Fat’s career is Jet Li’s dark reflection. He’s still best remembered for The Killer and Hardboiled. His US films started with The Replacement Killers, self sabotaging itself with its very title, and Bulletproof Monk, charitably described as a Sean William Scott vehicle. I don’t remember any big roles he had in any US films until Dragonball Evolution, which begs the question what crimes he committed to earn that karma. He had to go back to non-US films like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon to catch a break. To this day, if you want your movie to bomb, put a clip in the trailer of Chow Yun Fat making a funny.
So, basically Jet Li (as a career actor) is the lukewarm middle between Jackie Chan and Chow Yun Fat. It’s still nice to see him in stuff, but he’s not going to get me into a theater by himself.
@Mad Doc Grotsnik: Yeah, solid is a good way to put it, I suppose.
@Bobtheinquisitor: Yup, I see it very similarly as you described. Jackie Chan is the man (and late 90s US films are pretty much dismissable. He did surprisingly well in stuff like Shanghai Noon and Rush Hour, but the Tuxedo and so on...meh). His films are the gold standard. Jet Lee to me always lacked the charisma, and the fresh, more comedic approach (combined with amazing skills) which make Chan's films just so much fun.
Chow Yun Fat is an endlessly charismatic actor rather than a martial arts man (as far as I know). And he's said to be a really cool dude as well. To me Jet Li never really worked as a charismatic actor, nor an outstanding martial arts man. My favourite scene of his is the fight with Dolph Lundgren in The Expendables. And somehow I found Tony Jaa (for instance, because he just came to mind) more impressive as a straight-laced martial arts actor. There is something about Jet Li, but he never really clicked with me.
I never saw The Corruptor. I think I forgot it existed before it hit theaters. I don’t know if I saw Replacement Killers or not. I’ll have to look up the opening scene on YouTube.
Chow Yun Fat is a great actor and extremely charismatic…in Chinese/HK films. In the 90’s, he was the epitome of cool. Then when I think of him performing in English, the first things to pop into my head are his Master Roshi and Bulletproof Monk. His agent made some really bad calls.
I’d still love to see him play Batman some day.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Edit: just saw the opening. That was a solid action scene.
It's been a while since I cried at a movie. I held off for as long as possible, but it broke me in the end. It's impossible for me to describe how much I recommend this film. Just be prepared for the water works.
China launches a cyberattack on the USA when it defaults on its debts.
Former NSA Agent must keep his family alive in the New World Order.
I kind of feel this is going to be negative stars…
Automatically Appended Next Post: Ahh. Mere “hours” into the “invasion” and our hero has been nicked, and given a “Citizens Band” by the Local Sheriff, because apparently…erm….not even a fight?
Automatically Appended Next Post: Why do I do this to myself?
Automatically Appended Next Post: Oh, and the Citizen Bands? Just….casually know your name when you put them on.
We also have Not At All Casual Racism, where they hoof out the Hispanic Guy.
Not to mention awful acting. You know it’s a bad film when you want the “hero” to hurry up and get ded.
Automatically Appended Next Post: So….China repossesses the USA. And everyone, but our plucky “hero” just sort of….goes along with it,
Honestly? It wouldn’t surprise me. The bands track you, and if you’re caught out of curfew “it burns” and then you die.
Oh, and the Government just…..caved in. And signed up to the Citizen Freedom Bands.
Oh and our hero ends up forced to wear one, then the Hispanic Dude inexplicably returns (and frankly it’s not entirely clear why he was there in the first place), and leads the hero and his family, to Mexico. And helps the hero chainsaw off his hand and band and then just….sort of welcomes them into his home. And the hero was responsible for the back door built into all electronic devices which allowed China to switch off the USA. And we see a good half dozen redneck looters summarily executed by the Sheriff for not wearing their bands. Only for the hero and his wife to be told “well I’ll let you off this time but you better go put them on, yeah”.
I’d say watch it for a laugh, but there is bugger all to laugh at. It’s like the fever dream of some insufferable Git.
I dare say if you and I don’t share the same side of the political spectrum you’ll be left baffled and indeed insulted at how things just….happen. And nobody fights it. At all.
Not a single Chinese actor or character either. Hell, I’m pretty sure Hispanic Bloke are the only non-white cast members. And as said, they seem to solely be there so at the end our “hero” can go to Mexico, because apparently, despite the border being unmanned….nobody that’s not from Mexico knows where Mexico is, I guess? Even with the map we see them using,
Pretty sure Alex “what is this reality you speak of, son of Adam” Jones would think it’s a load of baloney.
Automatically Appended Next Post: *batteries not included
Perhaps a forgotten Spielberg, but a stone cold classic in my book. Plenty to enjoy and buckets of charm.
SFX haven’t quite held up, but given its a 36 year old film that’s perhaps not surprising. They still do the job of course. Perhaps one that could do with a CGI spit and polish around the seams, just to tidy up the odds and ends.
A television film about the political battle held in Paris, for Syria, after the First World War. Ralph Fiennes is excellent as Lawrence while DS9's Alexander Siddig is equally so as Prince Faisal.
After the so-so first film and absolutely dire second one, I wasn't sure what I expected from the third part, but an almost complete departure from the style of the previous films (Only the Rasputin parts feel particularly Kingsman-y to me) probably wasn't it.
Overall, I thought it was pretty good, easily the best of the bunch.
In my opinion, The first one was a gloriously silly spy romp. The second went full Roger Moore. The third is a grumbly turgid bit of greyness. It makes absolute sense in terms of filling in some of the background set up in 1 and 2, and just by the backdrop of the horror of ww1 and basically focussing in loss, loses any sense of wonder and fun in my eyes. When they try to drop in a bit of levity in the fight scenes and big set pieces, it seems tacked on and out of place.
Reapturesque “people are disappearing, nobody is sure why” type thing. Basically if nobody has eyes on you, off you pop to currently no-one knows where.
I think it’s going for claustrophobic, but it’s a bit predictable.
I’m also amused at the cast, being comprised of “That Bloke From That Thing”, “I’m sure I’ve seen him in something but I’m not sure what”, “wasn’t she in” and so on and so forth. Also disappearing one by one. Just like their careers.
Yeah. There’s definitely interesting stuff in there, but it just doesn’t come together. I don’t think it helped I didn’t really care for the characters. They’re just sort of there to disappear. No real motivations or character detail given.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Godzilla Vs Kong
God I love this movie! It is big, it’s not particularly clever, but it is hugely fun.
The human element is of course there, but unlike Transformers not to the exclusion of the Keiju knocking seven bells out of each other. And another notch against Transformers? The fights aren’t a blur filmed from far too close. You see every blow, you feel every impact.
Though it is frustrating that Warner Bros can nail this series, and so utterly miss the mark with the DCEU.
Bring on the sequel!
Automatically Appended Next Post: Slaxx
Now I’ve seen everything. Maybe not Man Eating His Own Head everything. But….killer demonic jeans everything.
Proof positive that whether you love him or loathe him, Nic Cage always gives it full tilt in any movie he’s cast in.
And this is a daft little romp, clearly inspired by Five Nights At Freddie’s and that recent Banana Splits movie.
A solid, silly B-Movie that doesn’t have pretentions above its low station. It’s knows it’s cheap and tacky, but unlike so many modern day intentional B-Movies, that cheap and tacky nature isn’t the whole joke or reason for its being.
The story is actually alright, the acting I’d say probably above par for this particular course. The costumes, effects and fights are also pretty solid.
Definitely worth a watch if you’re a fan of decently crafted B-Movie nonsense.
Just watched Predator 2 last night. Not watched it since probably the early 00’s. I enjoyed it very much despite it remaining a seriously miscalculated and derivative effort. Once you get past the fact that little to no thought went into coming up with a compelling story it is ridiculous fun witnessing Gary Busey and Danny Glover do battle with the now wise cracking Predator (who brings nifty new hunting gadgets)!
Predators is probably worth a watch. Not quite the full shilling sadly, but enough to enjoy overall. Plus you always get points for Danny Trejo.
Prey is an absolute, 100% Must Watch.
The Predator doesn’t exist so I don’t even know why we’d discuss it, there’s nothing to discuss, it doesn’t do an exist. What doesn’t exist? Yeah, you got it.
The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.
Gave "analog horror" a shot with 2 movies that have been making some waves. Analog horror is an offshoot of the found footage genre, so if you don't like the whole shaky camera thing, you'll hate this. I personally didn't mind found footage but it definitely got played out years ago and "analog horror" is not much of an improvement.
"The Outwaters" and "Skinamarink". Neat concepts in either movie for sure. (A camping trip with multiple spooky happenings in the former, with the latter being 2 small kids being stalked by some sort of demon in a house). Some wild visuals and sounds, with the medium leaving a lot to the imagination, but it just fell flat for me. Not a fan of the this subgenre offshoot.
I'd recommend skipping them, unless you want to experiment with something different, though it may be frustrating.
Back when I was a younger person, and Japanese animated movies were becoming a thing in the Midwest one of the easier titles to find was this one. You know, along with things like Golgo 13: The Professional, Ninja Scroll, Vampire Hunter D, Project Ako, Bubble Gum Crisis, etc. Despite the ease of locating and watching this film, I had never done so. Now that Suncoast and indeed the very Malls that housed them are long gone, I figured now was as good a time as any to watch this.
Basically, the veil between the "dark world" where bad things live, and the "real world" is very thin. There is an agency whose job it is to keep the "dark world" from getting to out of hand in the "real world". Kinda of like Men-in-Black. This is one of their stories.
Ummm..... probably good I never really saw this film before. It is one of those Japanese movies that makes me realize that the sexual politics of Japan in the 80's were different from what people would find palatable in this modern time.
The animation is good, with a neo-noir feel to it, BUT you also see how they use a lot of static shots with either minor mods or just zoom ins to do the heavy lifting. The action scenes are obviously a bit better, but are rather short and to the point. Lot's of just a single shot or slash to finish the foe.
Overall, unless you are a big fan of early Japanese import animation, I think you will want to skip this.
Bunch of classic Ghibli films have gone up on Netflix so I've just watched Princess Monoko and Nausicaa both are excellent fantasys and as I'm sure most of you are well aware well worth a watch.
Having watched Crystal Lake Memories , a behind the scenes doc/retrospective, recently, I was left with an itch to rewatch some of the movies.
Unfortunately, as none of the services I subscribe to currently offer them, and I've retired my parrot and hook in favour of a law abiding lifestyle (except when needs are dire) I had to compromise with a rewatch of this not terribly well received reboot.
I was blessed with very little recollection of this from the first time I watched it, which was probably on blu ray from Lovefilm it was that long ago, so I at least had the luxury of watching it, if not with fresh eyes, then at least with slightly amnesiac ones.
In all honesty, this is a pretty decent F13 movie, and a reasonable slasher in its own right. It checks all the boxes, although perhaps a little too slavishly to feel fresh and avoid seeming stale, despite the fact it's imitating it's own ideas. This incarnation of Jason is both athletic and physically intimidating, definitely more 28 Days Later than The Walking Dead, and is some sort of savant in terms of turning ordinary everyday items into lethal weapons, as every good slasher should be.
The girls are cute, the stoners are stoned, the jocks are obnoxious and the heroes are earnest, the blood is copious, only narrowly edging out the nudity and the kills are often creative, and if they're not then they're graphic. All the elements are here.
So why doesn't it work better?
For me, I think it's a lack of variation in intensity, which then translates to a lack of any real tension.
By introducing Jason before the titles even roll (albeit in a really decent opening sequence of kills) it totally robs the film of the chance to play with the reveal. The original features one of the greatest twists in horror history, and yet this entry, despite ostensibly being a return to the beginning, abandons all pretence of even playing with other possibilities before showing it hand.
Consequently, the viewer reaches a certain level practically frame one, and then stays there until the credits roll. There's no rollercoaster, nor is there any real sense of crescendo, consequently, although there's plenty of respectable scenes and ideas I'd have liked to see taken forward, the whole thing just feels flat.
Thanks for the heads-up, Llamahead. Those Studio Ghibli classics are the kind of charming we need right now.
I will get hate for this, but my favorite Friday the 13th is still Jason Goes to Hell. Although, it Freddy Vs Jason counts, then it’s that.
From the earlier conversation about Jet Li, I just remembered his film The One. The One is a solid action-Sci Fi movie with one of the best ending fade outs ever. I think Jet Li still gets a lot of good will for that one.
SamusDrake wrote: The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.
Agreed. Seems to be a rule of thumb for movies with a decent original. One good sequel then all downhill…
Saying that, I am one of those controversial figures who thinks Alien 3 was actually decent. Yes… I said it.
SamusDrake wrote: The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.
Agreed. Seems to be a rule of thumb for movies with a decent original. One good sequel then all downhill…
Saying that, I am one of those controversial figures who thinks Alien 3 was actually decent. Yes… I said it.
I also don't think Alien 3 is that bad. It's definitely not as good as the first 2, but it isn't terrible IMO.
SamusDrake wrote: The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.
Agreed. Seems to be a rule of thumb for movies with a decent original. One good sequel then all downhill…
Saying that, I am one of those controversial figures who thinks Alien 3 was actually decent. Yes… I said it.
I also don't think Alien 3 is that bad. It's definitely not as good as the first 2, but it isn't terrible IMO.
For me the trouble with Alien 3 is that taken in isolation? It’s a perfectly decent film.
If it was the only Alien movie a person ever watched, they’d still know good info on what the Alien is, what makes it dangerous, how it reproduces etc.
But. As the third in the trilogy? It’s just not bringing anything new to the table. That for me is what makes it disappointing.
It is, on a film making basis leaps and bounds ahead of Alien Ressurection. But its story just isn’t anywhere near as good as AR, which even if you didn’t enjoy the end product, you have to admit at least tried to do something new and interesting.
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote: For me the trouble with Alien 3 is that taken in isolation? It’s a perfectly decent film.
Honestly, if they hadn't killed Newt, Hicks, and Bishop for like... no reason I feel like this movie's reputation would be very different. It would only be a middling film at best IMO, but it wouldn't have the hatedom it has. That mostly owes to the offing of beloved survivors of the much more popular and far superior second film for no reason but to not bring the actors back for another paycheck or something.
I loved the quadrupedal alien sooo much I can’t be objective about that film. It’s the spider-gremlin of aliens.
Tales From the Darkside: The Movie
My son wanted to watch a horror movie, which was all the excuse I needed to out this one on. It’s an anthology movie in the vein of Creepshow and Creepshow 2, but slightly, ever so slightly, more polished. I wouldn’t rate it as frightening as Creepshow 2, but it has a few scenes that will stick with you.
TFtDS:TM is also worth a watch if you enjoy That Guy-spotting. Just about every face in the movie is familiar to you if you watched a lot of stuff in the 90’s. Christian Slater and Rae Dawn Chong seem to have the most fun, and James Remar gives one of his best performances. Debbie Harry and that kid from all those 90’s shows bring a weird dark humor sitcom energy to the wraparound story.
The effects are both good and goofy, especially in the second story. If you like monsters and gore effects, the last story delivers.
Can’t seem to find it on streaming in the U.K. though, so will have to be a DVD job.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Also, can anyone tell me the anthology horror movie, where one of the segments is a guy trying a hair transplants, but it turns out their tiny wee alien worm things?
A decent little action film (Although I admittedly have a much higher tolerance for the Superhero genre than the average person), the music choices were a bit of a poor fit and it's a shame that the Justice Society are just kinda there, but overall not as bad a movie as it's been made out to be.
There are two thing I find refreshing about the absurd adventures of John Wick and their increasingly byzantine world building.
1. That fact that this is not based on a book, play, video game, or graphic novel. It is an "original" screenplay.... it you can call it "original".
2. The fact that the director's do not hide their action choreography with a series of quick cuts and gimmicks. They give you a good, hard, bloody look at the action. So many head shots! This allows you to appreciate the work of the professional stuntmen, B-movie star martial artists, choreographers, and even the actors who learned what they needed to learn well-enough to do it on screen.
Sure, the movie is straight up Gun Porn, with the occasional Knife-porn thrown in for some spice. However, it is really well executed, and the plot and characterization is just enough to help you get through. One is solid, almost parody of a retired hitman movie; and 2 follows that. Some of the dialogue in the sequel is word-for-word from the first; just to remind you who is who. Number 2 starts exploring the secret society stuff, and Number 3 just dives head first into it.
Amusing diversions for a weekend romp, but it is carried by great action, artistic direction, and strong cinematography with a gloss of characterization and world-building. Just enough to make it bearable to sit through all the loving-long scenes of glorious gun porn and "heroic bloodshed.
These are the movies Chow-Yun Fat wishes were available when he first came across to Hollywood.
An unusual and interesting take on the whole Batman thing, and probably one of the best of these little animated films they've done in a while. A big part of that is probably down to them using an older animation style (I just can't get used to the style they use on the newer stuff), but it's also a genuinely decent movie that doesn't really have the usual run-time issues.
@Easy E: Some very good points there! Especially 1. is a boon to the series.
..so on to something unoriginal!
Power Rangers (2017)
I know next to nothing about Power Rangers. I'm familiar with the looks and the concept of a mega-zord, but that's it. So I caught it on TV last night, decided to give it a shot and see how bad it gets. It's sat in a high school in America and the jock is the main character and he gets kicked out of the sports team or something and has to go to detention. (Rest of the story: he meets other teenagers there, they end up finding colourful medallions in a cave, they find a space ship, the robot tells them that they are supposed to be a team of Power Rangers to stop the evil lady from destroying the world by killing her. This is made very explicit, which amused me.) So I thought that this would get too annoying to watch pretty fast. Much to my surprise, it didn't.
Over the course of the film I actually started liking the characters. Okay, Billy is a caricature for the first third or so of the film and mostly to drive the plot along, but he's not all bad or too one-dimensional either (dangerously close to it though). The jock isn't a bad lead, the cheerleader girl gets an interesting story and the other girl (due to two scenes in which she opens up to the group and the way the following scene works) gets possibly the most interesting scene in the film. The guy who sits around on a rock and lives in a trailer park with his mom is just a nice guy. That's a thing which I think helps a lot in making the characters un-annoying: At the core, they're nice people and don't pointlessly "give attitude".
Several scenes are reminiscent of Breakfast Club (well, the whole group very much is), and that's a very good thing in my book. If you want to present your teenage protagonists in a way that makes them at least appear like relateable or likeable characters there is no better source to go to. On a personal note, I enjoyed not seeing cellphones playing a role. They ruin films. (what also ruins films is hip hop music in action or montage scenes.That's in there. Love me some hippedy-hop and rap music, detest it in films. Especially the one they do use in these films. The trashy pop stuff with party lyrics.) In this film cellphones (and the things that come with cameras in cellphones) are adressed, but in that way I condone, in my personal rejection of smartphones and selfies and all of that.
Anyway, the kids find a space ship underneath a small lake, in it they find a (surprisigly un-annoying) CGI robot and Zargon or Zordos or what his name is, who is a big face in a wall who tells them exposition. The face in the wall is played by Brian Cranston, I later learned, but could have been played by anybody with a voice. They learn, that they have 11 days to train to be Power Rangers and KILL the evil Rita Repulsa (I'm happy they kept the - so I assume - original name. She's played by Elisabeth Banks.). Her motivations are simple - she eats gold to get more powerful (which I like) and wants to find some magic stone to destroy the world (which is boring), and the stone is hidden somewhere in the little American town everybody lives in. Another nice thing there is that all of the story takes place in this small "middle-American" (as some people in the US would call it I assume?) town and everything revolves around it.
The Power Rangers start training to find out how and when they can get their 'armour'. It takes surprisingly long until that happens and long the way we get a lot of un-annoying character stuff. And then they finally get their power rangers costumes and there's a fun fight scene and then there's the show-down and I have to say that I enjoyed that film. The fight scenes are mostly clear and you can see what happens. The very first fight scene in the film is very interesting too, the second is very fun, from then on it's kinda standard fare.
I can't give it a proper Watch It, because it's bloody Power Rangers, but just for me, as I watched this film way too late at night, it worked really well. Power Rangers is surprisingly un-annoying, takes its time with the characters (takes NO time with everything else. I feel like I must have watched a cut version or something even though the film's rated FSK12. Maybe they just left a lot on the cuttig room floor in favour of the character development / team forming bits). Based on my frame of reference it's kinda like Breakfast Club crossed with Paw Patrol. Oh, I also really liked how nobody said "family" in regards to the team. I hate the use of the f-word in regards to friends or comrades. A family isn't "friendships, but elevated". It's an entirely different things. And everybody in the film's got a family. Family can be great, it can be hell. Friendships are a different thing entirely.
edit: I also watched some episodes of Tales from the Crypt. It's alright. I was surprised about some of the actors who appear. Also - impressive names in the producing team there.
I watched the Waco documentary on Netflix. Usually I don't netflix documentaries, because I always feel like I'm being mislead by some algorithm when I see the big red N. But I know next to nothing about the Waco stuff, and they have a LOT of footage of the stuff. Surely cut together in wrong contexts at time, but it's impressive. And a very, very interesting situartion, the whole thing. They got people who were inside in interviews, the main negotiator guy and a guy of the anti-terror team (interplay between different arms of service / national instances is always interesting, because most people will assume that there's perfect flow of information between such entities and that interests are always lined up perfectly, which never ever is the case).
Easy E wrote: Not just misled by the big Red N, but by the people who make Big Red N documentaries in the first place.
It isn't exactly a sign of quality. But it's their own fault, with all the crap they throw at us.
It kinda feels like when Amazon try to make some sort of wholesome or funny or any tv commercial. As soon as the logo pops up the instant reaction is "feth off".
I know I've seen the first of these, and even having watched the second the following evening, I'm still not sure if I've seen it before, which says it's own thing.
I'm not a big one for going back and rewatching stuff, the list of films and shows I'll revisit with any regularity is short, but I had genuinely very little recollection of Chapter 1, so I thought I would have a little retrospective.
There's no arguing with the influence that James Wan has wielded over 21st Century Horror, but for my money of the two big franchises he's created the Conjuring films are superior, and consequently I've never invested quite the same interest into this series.
The one thing that caught my attention this time around is how strongly evocative of the first Poltergeist film Chapter 1 is. The plot structure, cast, general mythos, it's all really easy to draw parallels. No bad thing of course, Poltergeist still by and large holds up, and arguably it's a better remake than the actual attempt. Preserving the spirit and framework without being slavishly recreated shot for shot.
Chapter 2 is not as strong, but, taking the law of diminishing returns for sequels as read, is stronger than many. The very precise call backs to the first movie are a novel idea that I've not seen done as well anywhere else before, and Patrick Wilson is clearly having a ball channelling Jack Nicholson in the final act. Other elements feel a little contrived and coincidence is stretched to breaking point at times, but Wan is a competent pair of hands and he pulls off elements in a way that others might fumble, giving credibility to the laughable.
I'm not sure I can be bothered to follow up with 3 and 4, but I will likely prioritise chapter 5 when it releases, as a return to this original family some 10+ years down the road is an interesting prospect.
Finally got to see this. My first impression was “Marvel’s Aquaman minus the sex appeal.” My second impression is “what if Flash Gordon, but beige.” I didn’t think it was bad—even enjoyed some of it a lot—but can’t find any reason to recommend it or remember it.
Yes, I know he’s something of a Baldwin himself, but he has no smolder in this movie. This movie feels so sexless that he and his wife would have to buy a humidifier to reach the steaminess of “quirky barista and work wife”.
Some call this Lucio Fulci's seminal work. It does have some of his favorite tropes in spades:
1. Zombies
2. Gateways to Hell
3. Gratuitous eye related violence
4. Seeing-Eye dog attacks
The plot? A women inherits a hotel that supposedly covers a gateway to hell. Supposedly, an artist uncovered it 60 years previously, and got lynched for his trouble. Bad things start happening right away.
You really aren't here for the plot. Most of the whole movie is adorably contrived in that Italian horror movie way. However, if you are a fan of Italian horror movies, this is a must see. Otherwise, skip it.
As a big fan of the original run of Resident Evil films I thought I'd enjoy this, and for the most part I did, I liked that that it focused more on the horror side rather than the action emphasis of the earlier films.
Then in the final 20 minutes it decided to ditch all that, and had a half-hearted stab at doing a crazy action sequence with a poorly CGI-ed monster and kinda ruined it.
The creepy, earlier sections were certainly worth a watch though.
It’s a Zombie movie. But….over half way into its runtime, No Sodding Zombies. Well. One as a dream. Possibly one in a field all the way over there.
I’d like to say our two main characters are interesting, but there’s barely any dialogue. And when there is (47 minutes in) they’re more wooden than a Very Wooden Thing. Oh and they finally meet two other people, only to promptly Murder Them To Death More Or Less Immediately. Because Reasons.
On top of this, despite Apocalypse? Hair, make up and clothes are immaculate. And once again, some bugger has been cutting the grass. Presumably when no-one was looking.
OH WAIT! 50 minutes into an 80 minute film? We finally get a Zombie! A….fast…sprinting zombie. In a flashback.
There are a couple of upsides for the Zombie Movie Connoisseur though. First, when heading you to gather supplies? The lasses are at least wearing forearm protection in the form of metal splints. Also knee and elbow pads. And when off to scavenge for supplies, it’s one of those electric golf cart type things you might see in a studio tour or perhaps airport. Which whilst I wouldn’t call armoured, they’ve at least assemble some form of protective cage on one side of.
Around the 53 minute mark we get non-flashback Zombies. One just got on the wrong end of Mr Baseball Bat, and we don’t even get to see the effect. All done Just Off Screen. And the Zombies look and behave unconvincing.
But, like a wounded soldier, clutching a grenade? I’ll see this out. You….you save yourself. Y’hear? Save yourself! Spare your loved ones. Run. I said run from this Grey, flaccid, lifeless abomination. RUN.
On a bit of a Daniel Craig kick having watched the Knives Out films back to back over the last few days.
I think these are good Bond films. Nothing exceptional, but the stunts are good, the cars are sexy (until they get trashed and utterly discarded), the backdrops are gorgeous and the action is exhilarating. Blofelt is the better bad guy, but mostly because of the multi film setup rather than the new guy who is just kind of there. Also casting Moriarty as an apparent good guy is just asking for trouble
Ana di Armas is extremely fun to watch for all kinds of reasons. I think the whole cast had a good time in these films.
Man it’s awful. We learn nothing about our protagonists. At all. We find out one lost a pregnancy, but that’s it. Certainly no reason or context is given as to why they just Instantly Horribly Murdered Two Men To Death On Sight. Spesh as right at the end we meet a DJ, broadcasting, only for his compound to come under attack and out girls seem terribly put out by this…so….they don’t seem to have adopted Just Murder Everyone We Meet In The Face as a particular survival tactic.
It kind of feels like the film ran out of money, and the Producer put a couple of sequences up as a stake in a Poker game he promptly lost. Maybe because if the competence of this film is reflective of their overall competence, he’d mistaken his hand of a 2, a 7 and Mrs Bun The Baker for a Royal Flush.
A Guy Ritchie film. In which…erm…some stuff happens. Then more stuff. And stuff after that. Then it ends, and whilst I know stuff definitely happened, and I just watched it, I couldn’t tell you what that stuff was or what the film was actually about.
A Guy Ritchie film. In which…erm…some stuff happens. Then more stuff. And stuff after that. Then it ends, and whilst I know stuff definitely happened, and I just watched it, I couldn’t tell you what that stuff was or what the film was actually about.
Soo. . . . a bit like "Lock, Stock. . " and "Snatch" then, yes? It honestly seems that every time a Guy Ritchie film comes up among my friends, whether it's for "you should watch it" discussions or whatnot, most of us always seem to walk away from those films wondering what the feth just happened? Like, credits roll and you just go "well, that was brilliant" or "ehh, not sure I liked that one" but regardless, you cant quite nail down the "what happened" part
In their defence, Lock Stock and Snatch were fairly unique for their time. A fairly successful resurrection of British Crime and Farce movies of yesteryear.
Operation Fortune is….well….it’s a film, with like actors and sets and that. Not entirely convinced it has a plot though.
Not a review, but a request for recommendations. I’m a dab of, and a sucker for Adventure Films. Goonies, National Treasure, Indiana Jones, even Sahara. Even better if there’s a supernatural element, like The Brendan Fraser Mummy (not you, Tom Cruise)
Don’t mind if they’re hokey and ropey as that’s part of the appeal.
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote: Not a review, but a request for recommendations. I’m a dab of, and a sucker for Adventure Films. Goonies, National Treasure, Indiana Jones, even Sahara. Even better if there’s a supernatural element, like The Brendan Fraser Mummy (not you, Tom Cruise)
Don’t mind if they’re hokey and ropey as that’s part of the appeal.
So, Vibes then? Or Romancing the Stone? Or, to a lesser extent, Secondhand Lions?
There was also a TV show starring Tia Carrere called Treasure Hunters or something.
Secondhand Lions is structured like Big Fish, with a modern day story wrapping around someone describing his days of high adventure. Just avoid watching the deleted scene ending. It’s soooo bad.
The first movie is not even bad, it's an enjoyable-enough dollar store Indiana Jones-alike, which is good enough for pulp adventure, but all the others and the series are absolutely atrocious
Absolutely adored the Mario movie. Definitely not a piece of challenging cinema but just kind of a pure, straightforward adventure made with a ton of love and attention to detail much like the games its adapting.
Hammer goes Kung Fu! And rather than being Charlie Chan or Fu Manchu, it’s a collab with a Hong Kong film studio. No yellow face, dodgy prosthetics (well, there are dodgy prosthetics, but not the sort you might expect from the era) or put on accents.
Despite being a horror fan, and indeed a Hammer fan this one has somehow not been on my radar before.
It’s really rather good. Peter Cushing is our lead, back once again as Van Helsing. But he’s about the only person I’m familiar with.
It’s a perfectly jolly bit of Hammer Hokum. The Kung Fu scenes had a Hong Kong team seeing to them, so that bit holds up nicely, but it doesn’t quite gel together quite right.
It’s certainly a bold experiment, particularly when you consider Hammer could well have taken an “oh sod it” approach to cashing in on the martial arts craze. That definitely gets it extra points in my book.
One from the Vaults. As in my DVD collection as I couldn’t find it streaming for free on my services.
Cracking bit of 80’s Vampire silliness. And a precursor to The Lost Boys, predating it by 2 years.
On balance, I’d say Lost Boys did it better, but only because Fright Night first lifted us up and away from Hammer style movies, without pooping over that legacy. Indeed I’d argue it’s the first important step toward Buffy, and all that followed (not you Twilight, you can sod off with your creepy tale of a 70 year old bloke pursuing a teenage girl).
Definitely, definitely, definitely give this one a watch.
Next up on the slate? Despite my aversion to Colin Farrel, it’s the remake of this.
Not a movie I'd typically go to watch in the cinema, but my friend was visiting and her parents gave her the night off from mothering, so we went with what was available.
Having seen the trailers, I was most concerned about Russel Crowe's accent (succinctly summed up, I think, by me as "Itsa me, Russel, I'm the pope's fuuckhin exorcist innit?")
As it happens, I needn't have been too concerned, a decent percentage takes place in either Spanish, Italian or Latin, and the-a speaking-a English with-a the-a Italian accent-a isn't all that egregious.
Amazingly, it's based on a true story. In reality though it's like saying my life is based on JRR Tolkien's because we share a birthday, the connection is tenuous at best. Certainly the third act strains any credibility that anything even remotely like that ever happened, unless everyone concerned was hallucinating heavily because of the gas that apparently gathers in the main location's lower levels.
By and large, it's the third act that lets the film down. Crowe's Father Amort is a pleasant blend of eccentric, comic and competent, the various supporting players inhabit their role well enough (and the kid is believably creepy, important in a possession movie.) It would have been creepier and more affecting if they'd kept things a little more low key during the finale, but as it stands it moves almost into action movie territory. Consequently one is left with the impression of having watched something like Indiana Jones' goth cousin for 90 minutes.
I'm knocking off some points for the very blatant scene at the end clumsily setting up potential sequels, but all things considered I was entertained, and if this does indeed spawn sequels, I'll probably happily watch those too.
OK this is far, far better than I expected. Despite Colin Farrell once again demonstrating all the charm and charisma of crumbly polystyrene blown on to your lawn, which next door’s cat has helpfully also pooped on when it wasn’t feeling terribly well at all.
The themes and beats of the original are all there, just done differently. But I wouldn’t say better. It is nice to see it’s not a lazy, shot for shot remake, it it just doesn’t have the same charm as the original. But, being a gent of a certain vintage that’s quite possibly my Rose Tinteds, as I love my 80’s and 90’s horror as that’s what I cut my teeth on.
And yeah. Relic Hunter. A show slightly ruined by my having seen the sidekick in underrated, underknown comedy “Preaching to the Perverted”.
I love that show! Well, I enjoy it. It's got a good theme, I like the characters, and it's a show made for, run by and kept alive by MULTIPLE-TIME GRAMMY WINNING ARTIST Tia Carrere, and there's not a thing wrong with that. It also had an episode feturing Steven Gätjen (German private TV host, occasional about-films-talker and holswe of boring opinions on film) as the caricature of a film director just because he happened to be close to the set when they did it. Which was a weird thing to behold.
As for adventure films - err.... Firewalker? Cannon Quartermain films? Not sure if it quite qualifies with what you have in mind, but Deep Rising will work nicely I'm sure. Krull will always be fun, becuase it's a film made for, run by and kept alive (well, until her demise) by MULTIPLE-TIME GRAMMY WINNING ARTIST Tia Carrere. At least the Sorbo Krull.
Funny, I just recently looked into Hawk the Slayer. That I should watch some day, it's one of the classics.
OK this is far, far better than I expected. Despite Colin Farrell once again demonstrating all the charm and charisma of crumbly polystyrene blown on to your lawn, which next door’s cat has helpfully also pooped on when it wasn’t feeling terribly well at all.
The themes and beats of the original are all there, just done differently. But I wouldn’t say better. It is nice to see it’s not a lazy, shot for shot remake, it it just doesn’t have the same charm as the original. But, being a gent of a certain vintage that’s quite possibly my Rose Tinteds, as I love my 80’s and 90’s horror as that’s what I cut my teeth on.
Oh yeah, I've seen that. I like the original Fright Night and heard bad things about the teenagers' dialogue beforehand, but when I watched it it was rather un-annoying. Not horrible, and on the other hand not quite as pointless as other remakes ('memer Robocop?).
Me and the good lady watched ‘Plane’ over the weekend. It was surprisingly entertaining (for a dumb action movie)
I certainly got that familiar 90s vibe from the plot and the antics (noble men forced to do battle with homicidal militant separatists in order to save ‘innocents’) and that alone, for me, is a win these days!
Saw John Wick 4. It's excellent, but almost numbing in the length and amount of action. I don't think any of the sequels top the first except MAYBE the second, but I did like this a lot more than the 3rd.
One of the benefits of watching a film you know has had a relatively poor critical reception is that it's easier to have your expectations surpassed, and that's more or less where I've landed with Quantumania.
80% of this movie is bang average MCU. Nothing immensely moving or affecting, no great revelations or seismic shifts, just decently entertaining action blockbuster fare.
The one thing that elevates this is Jonathan Majors' Kang, who we finally get to see at something approaching full power and peak villainy, unlike his turn in Loki. If, as is looking increasingly likely at time of writing, he is recast, either as a consequence of his actions or simply the current climate, it will be a loss to the MCU. I almost hope he's guilty of what he's been accused of, because if we lost him to simple PR damage mitigation it will be a real shame.
But, on the flip side, we have the returning Corey Stoll as MODOK. How the feth did this gak get into the final cut? I mean, I don't blame Stoll, he's done enough good work that I know him to be a decent actor, but everything about this character feels shoe-horned in, ill-conceived and dreadfully executed. I.. words fail me for how obnoxious it is. Patton Oswalt's take is better.
The VFX have been a point of criticism and it would therefore be remiss of me to mention it. Taking MODOK aside, which would be enough to warrant substantial criticism by itself, the other big failing is too many scenes look like an actor stood in front of projection on a screen. It's subtle, but it's just poor enough to register, from my limited understanding of the technical elements, I'd say it's a slight flaw in the lighting of the real world elements that just doesn't match up to the environment they're supposed to occupy.
Special praise should go to production design though, the innovation and imagination on show, especially for the various denizens of the Quantum Realm, is great. The pallette is really vivid as well, anyone watching this on a decent HDR set is going to be treated to an array of vivid colours with every energy blast, forcefield or anything else that could conceivably glow, at times it was just pleasant to look at.
So if you've stayed away because of the negativity, I'd say take a chance, as long as you go in with an open mind and brace yourself for fething MODOK.
This was my favorite Ernest movie when I was a child. It has the most heart of the big three, but it now feels a bit slow and uneven compared to Goes to Jail and Scared Stupid. On the plus side, it has all the 80’s slobs-vs-snobs hijinks you could ever want, a surprisingly menacing villain, and a big action finale with thematic payoff. In the negative side, it has some uncomfortable “is this appropriation?” moments that are only made murkier by the presence of Iron Eyes Cody. Also, the two chefs ride the line between annoying funny and just annoying.
Burly men! Beefy Mullets! MacGuffins! Absolutely No Acting Talent On Display Anywhere!
Starring Peter Paul and David Paul, apparently AKA the Barbarian Brothers. Two beefy burlcakes. Of such legendary acting talent, their characters in this film are called…erm…Peter and David. One is a Naughty Robber. The other is a Goody Two Shoes.
The Goody Two Shoes really enjoys his work outs. Like…really really really “pass the tissues” enjoys his workouts.
However….it also stars Roddy McDowall, James Doohan, Bill Mumy and David Carradine. Given the evident low budget and Straight to Video, I assume each of them had a bill to pay. Probably a window cleaner. Or a game of Truth or Dare took a nasty turn.
It’s billed as a comedy. And it’s certainly laughable. But in entirely the wrong way. The only hint a scene is meant to be comedic is some (very quiet, somewhat muffled) waaaaaaaacky music playing over it. It’s certainly not the laughter of the audience.
Automatically Appended Next Post: A Fish Called Wanda
Cleese! Palin! Curtis! Klein!
An absolutely magnificent film. Funny as you like, with absurd moments without just becoming Stupid. Just get it watched!
Crazy to think just how successful it was. $188,000,000 in 1988 is no small beans. Roughly $500,000,000 adjusted for inflation, of a $7,000,000 budget.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Piranha (1978)
Roger Corman takes a stab at Jaws. Directed by Joe Dante.
It’s…..a Roger Corman produced movie, so let that set your expectations.
However, it is rather fun. The effects are surprisingly good, and whilst this should have been a massive steaming pile, it definitely has its charms.
Happy slice of cheap cash-in hokum nonsense, that knows full well what it is, and doesn’t pretend otherwise,
I have quite the soft spot for the first film as a breath of fresh air from the failing and flailing Bond franchise at the time, the second one not so much but it had it's moments
This one is very League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in the plausible slightly tweaked history genre with some Sherlock in the mix, the use of domestics as eyes and ears in a pre-tech age was very Baker Street irregulars, some nice set pieces with a brutal gut punch about half way in, well worth a go, would make a decent telly show spin off as the timeline advances, 7/10
1. If you didn’t enjoy the original, do yourself a service and move on to the next film. This isn’t going to change your opinion. Fare thee well good human, and let not our taste in movies come between us.
2. Prequels have a heavy, negative rep. And not without justification. But this movie pulls it off. It has all the elements of its predecessors that I enjoyed, and it doesn’t mess with the established background at all, but enhances it.
An enjoyable romp but easily the weakest film in the franchise.
While it was nice to see the characters from the two trilogies meet up, the 'Park' trio and their giant locust sub-plot were pretty superfluous, and how the heck did the world get covered in dinosaurs?
I’ve seen a lot of Toys Gone Evil movies. Every Child’s Play (not the series, yet), Dolls, Puppet Master, Demonic Toys, Pupper Master, Dead Silence and so on and so forth.
This is up there among the best. I knew only the basic premise going into it, and greatly enjoyed this.
Effects are fantastic, and it’s just well above average in everything that counts. Though not as Horror oriented as I expected. It’s kind of a low key thriller rather than something that might’ve been a Video Nasty.
Definitely well worth checking out if you get the chance.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Child’s Play (2019)
OK I’d genuinely forgotten this existed.
And it’s OK, I guess. It and M3GAN share distinct similarities, but this one plays more as a dark comedy in places, but straight horror in others. Whilst some bits are good fun, the whole of the thing just isn’t quite the full shilling. And boy does it take its time to get going.
Which is a shame, as there’s definite unrealised potential here.
Where it’s black comedy, it’s almost “Are You Afraid of the Dark” with knobs on. And it definitely has inspiration from ET and Gremlins. Oh, and there’s a voice clip from Robocop. The kills are quite inventive, but I do wish they’d settled on either being a black comedy, or a straight horror film. It trying to do both, at the expense of being neither.
Mark Hamill does he best, but there’s just not the menace of the original Chucky here.
Overall, whilst I don’t regret watching it, it’s definitely one of those films so close to brilliance, it’s going to annoy the piss out of me that it’s actually quite ropey.
Idris Elba and Tilda Swansen as a Djinn and a literature professor, as he tries to get her to make 3 wishes and she points out how that never ends well.
Doesn't quite stick the landing but some amazing visuals and fun history.
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