RAW says we may fire back. Also that we may stay to get shot
My money would be on that the number of active accounts on Dakka would start to decrease rapidly Also, that most of us would try to throw together a tank out of debris scattered accross the battlefield and our solution to the enemy having a bigger gun would be:
Oh my there would be such a slaughter on our side. Because if the question is to use us as soldiers we are dead even the one here with training will be taken down.. But give us six months training and who know.
If Dakka Members were soldiers, most of us would cower at home with our women and occasionally pretend to be generals while we send our little metal/plastic men to their imaginary deaths.
Ofcourse we would also have heated arguments about RAW vs RAI of the Geneva conventions
I'd be the one slapping all those losing their wits and running around screaming. I know, 'cause I did it..................
Had a soldier lose it the first time we had incoming Scuds during Desert Storm, so I smacked him, got his mask on him, and then made him go outside with me to check all the air handling units. Next time he was fine.
So I guess I'm a Commissar? Nahh, I didn't shoot him...........
While driving I would get shot at, many many times, and attempt to avoid drving near anything that doesnt look right. As with some of the above posters this really happened unfortunately.
Cheese Elemental wrote:Well, I like to think of myself as the kind of guy who'd look after the elbow grease and check our supply of headlight fluid during combat.
*I am assuming that both items are held in storage at the base.
I would be the elite ninja commander of the "ninja-lite" squad.
We fight at night, and we are hella fething tight... as in awesome.
So awesome in fact, that we can only be photographed in a fuzzy daytime light... we do not emerge on clear days... in fact, we hardly are there at all. Are we actually in this picture? Or are those stunt doubles? Yep, freaking awesome indeed.
Well, I know that I couldn't handle military life, either physically, mentally, or emotionally; but I'd probably end up either a supply clerk, CID, or JAG.
Polonius wrote:Well, I know that I couldn't handle military life, either physically, mentally, or emotionally; but I'd probably end up either a supply clerk, CID, or JAG.
No worries mate, you can be the elite ninja commander of the "ninja lite" squad, in charge of sneaker cleaning, and nap time.
I, of course, am elite ninja commander of the "ninja lite" squad, in charge of cookies, and kicking opposing ninja and soldier ass.
If Dakka members were soldiers, we'd spend out time after the battle complaining how unrealistic the fight was. The losers would complain about how unbalanced it was, and the winners would tell them they could have won, they just had to use tactics.
And there would be constant whining about how the old army manual was soooo much better, and how we could save money buying our bullets from Malestrom...
Then of course half the army would rebel and wage war on the false emperor (which I suppose would be Yakface?).
I would like to think Id be a DP, but realistically, Im the poor fool standing next to the Chaos dread.
Im pretty sure Id be that hard assed Sgt. that has the gruff and stuff going on. That almost middle management type that every type of rank likes cause I get stuff done.
don_mondo wrote:I'd be the one slapping all those losing their wits and running around screaming. I know, 'cause I did it..................
Had a soldier lose it the first time we had incoming Scuds during Desert Storm, so I smacked him, got his mask on him, and then made him go outside with me to check all the air handling units. Next time he was fine.
So I guess I'm a Commissar? Nahh, I didn't shoot him...........
Nope, just a good NCO.
wrexsaur wrote:I would be the elite ninja commander of the "ninja-lite" squad.
We fight at night, and we are hella fething tight... as in awesome.
Really? Let me know how that works out for you.
OverbossGhurzubMoga wrote:
Not if you are soldier. You gotta follow orders, which is run over here and incept the enemy's bullet with your body...all for the commander.
Not quite.
darkkt wrote:And there would be constant whining about how the old army manual was soooo much better, and how we could save money buying our bullets from Malestrom...
QFT
I'm more astounded at the misconceptions surrounding the military in this thread than anything else.
SSgt J. Walters
506th ESFS, FOB Warrior - Kirkuk, Iraq.
I used to be a Metalsmith in the REME so I guess I would go back to what I know, although I would need to cut out the pies and get back into shape first.
I imagine the nearest 40k equivalent would be a tech marine?
As soon as you armed the dakkaites a civil war would erupt and the survivors would split into cynical warbands.
Major warbands would be Fluffmongers, WAAC, Da Mob (the ork only players), Team Apathy (the Lurkers) and the Disciples of HATE who hate everything!
The WAAC warband battlecry would be "Down with Jervis!", but they wouldn't last as RAI and RAW factions would kill each other and all that would remain would be GWAR holding Cheese Elemental skull and jabbering about wolftime.
The Fluffmongers would be civil towards one another but lack any effective tactics and die to the man against the Da Mob.
Team apathy did something but no one noticed.
The HATE warband led by Chaplian HBMC would destroy Da Mob when Da mob attacked them for fun. They would destroy all other opposition and as the High Lords (GW) continued to rise prices and make dumb decisions their ranks swelled until their numbers were greater then the stars themselves. The HATE warband the would lead their Hate crusade to nottingham and destory all that was there. There common enemy destroyed The HATE warband happily took to killing one another. Several survive to this day and they lurk in the ruins of nottingham ready to kill anyone they meet.
Given my physical condition, I expect I'd get to be one of those guys way back in the rear who stand around guarding a fence or something. One of those guys who the enemy spec ops dudes get to kill in imaginative ways.
Edited to add this: Just to clarify, I've done my mandatory military service and I wasn't very good at it. I doubt I'd get invited back even if there was a war.
JonnyDelta wrote:I'm more astounded at the misconceptions surrounding the military in this thread than anything else.
Perhaps because this is Dakka Off-Topic and not the Military Careers board. I mean, it's f***ing Romper Room in here.
As for me, I wouldn't be a soldier. I'd be in the air. Kind of a modern-day Flying Tiger back before they got absorbed into the army. Definitely with the shark teeth.
Shaman wrote:As soon as you armed the dakkaites a civil war would erupt and the survivors would split into cynical warbands.
Major warbands would be Fluffmongers, WAAC, Da Mob (the ork only players), Team Apathy (the Lurkers) and the Disciples of HATE who hate everything!
The WAAC warband battlecry would be "Down with Jervis!", but they wouldn't last as RAI and RAW factions would kill each other and all that would remain would be GWAR holding Cheese Elemental skull and jabbering about wolftime.
The Fluffmongers would be civil towards one another but lack any effective tactics and die to the man against the Da Mob.
Team apathy did something but no one noticed.
The HATE warband led by Chaplian HBMC would destroy Da Mob when Da mob attacked them for fun. They would destroy all other opposition and as the High Lords (GW) continued to rise prices and make dumb decisions their ranks swelled until their numbers were greater then the stars themselves. The HATE warband the would lead their Hate crusade to nottingham and destory all that was there. There common enemy destroyed The HATE warband happily took to killing one another. Several survive to this day and they lurk in the ruins of nottingham ready to kill anyone they meet.
I think a lot of gamers would the the ones in remedial physical fitness training or on the verge of getting medically discharged for being too overweight.
I get the feeling me and Wrexsaur would be throwing darts at a map of the globe and dropping neutron bombs on wherever the darts hit. Or huge coconut cream pies. Whichever amused us more.
Oldgrue wrote:I get the feeling me and Wrexsaur would be throwing darts at a map of the globe and dropping neutron bombs on wherever the darts hit. Or huge coconut cream pies. Whichever amused us more.
Only pies... and only if they are made in America...
We'd have a crack commando squad of misfits (HBMC, JHDD, Garrett, Mad Dok and others) led by a no-nonsense CO (Frazz) who always gets the job done.
TRAIN THEM!
EXCITE THEM!
ARM THEM!
...THEN TURN THEM LOOSE ON THE GW OFFICES!
The DAKKA Dozen.
As for breaking the rules and thinking of yourself, I'd make a pretty good desk jockey, can type with almost ten fingers and I can make a mean coffee. Also, snarky comments and the odd social observations might occur. Disclaimer: do not share a trench with me, I am prone to thinking I'm Bunny who thinks he's Audie T. Murphy.
MEDIC! You're calling me when your leg's blown off. I'd ask if you'd tried walking it off, then tell you to try and favour the other leg for a fortnight
I think flashman would be something akin to Sharpe. Popular with the ladies, with a "love 'em and leave 'em" attidute. And as we commence our glorious charge, he shouts "Tally Ho!" before getting his head blown off. (or ducking for cover while everyone else get thiers blown off)
I think flashman would be something akin to Sharpe. Popular with the ladies, with a "love 'em and leave 'em" attidute. And as we commence our glorious charge, he shouts "Tally Ho!" before getting his head blown off. (or ducking for cover while everyone else get thiers blown off)
Fateweaver wrote:Frazz would be too busy drinking beer in the back lines and shooting at random cars passing by and yelling "Get off my lawn you commie kids!"
Frazzled wouldn't be a soldier, he'd be a beserker that w'd release on the field of battle and just hope to heck that he does more damage to the enemy than he does to us.
Fateweaver wrote:Frazz would be too busy drinking beer in the back lines and shooting at random cars passing by and yelling "Get off my lawn you commie kids!"
I can only Imagine you as a soldier.
You would be good at killing random people
Random people that were trying to take my guns away.
I would be the guy that quits immediately, because I wouldn't want to serve with any of you, and god forgive me, but I WILL quit if I'm ever told that any of my subordinates spend time on dakka.
chaos0xomega wrote:I would be the guy that quits immediately, because I wouldn't want to serve with any of you, and god forgive me, but I WILL quit if I'm ever told that any of my subordinates spend time on dakka.
The guys in my section would sooner have told people they were going to a gay night than off to play wargames
I think flashman would be something akin to Sharpe. Popular with the ladies, with a "love 'em and leave 'em" attidute. And as we commence our glorious charge, he shouts "Tally Ho!" before getting his head blown off. (or ducking for cover while everyone else get thiers blown off)
Flattering, but with ladies I always found it was the other way round with them leaving not long after they found the Warhammer cupboard (seriously folks, you'll save yourself no end of messing about if you mention Warhammer on the first date).
And yes, I'd be well and truly in the ducking for cover camp, though only after shouting "Tally Ho!" for the fun of it.
Oldgrue wrote:I get the feeling me and Wrexsaur would be throwing darts at a map of the globe and dropping neutron bombs on wherever the darts hit. Or huge coconut cream pies. Whichever amused us more.
Darts. One pie qould get the whole map. You save the pie for when you order in the continental orbital cbombardment to cover up your mistakes, er stop the advancing enemy from gaining a foothold in this system.
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Emperors Faithful wrote:I think Frazz would be the psyco drill instructor.
Following in dad's footsteps, excellent!
Somehow a Lawn with restritced access fits into all of this. But I don't see how.
Thats the lawn surrounding the super secret Project "ice cream truck."
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Fateweaver wrote:Frazz would be too busy drinking beer in the back lines and shooting at random cars passing by and yelling "Get off my lawn you commie kids!"
Well I think it would be more akin to a preist or something. Though they would likely divide into two seperate groups or RAW and RAI both sects would be able to wield giant chainswords.
I am the sand that jams the enemy's rifles. I am the glint in the sun that blinds their snipers. I am the chilling cold that freezes the enemy's engine blocks. For I am the constant death that lurks unseen always ready to take another!
Well after the combined might of all dakkaites we would take over the world and require everyone that could hold a brush to play 40k.
The super-nation would try to find a name, Gwar wants to name it GwarLand while H.B.M.C would want to name it The world of hate. JohnHwang would want to name it after some reference no one got. Frazzled would just yell at the other leaders saying proverbs.
Meanwhile, The world is split up into nations again each major nation being for different people, The Fluffsters, Hordes 'R' Fun, Speez marienz, Competitive playing, and of course the BURN EVERYTHING TRIBE.
The Fluffsters see themselves above everyone else and take over the world but then lose it and start dieing off slowly.
Speez Marinez would occupy most of the world after the Fluffsters and be very strict and require everyone to do 100 push ups each day.
The Competitive players create a super rocket and fly there nation to mars and make a huge warehouse that house's there nation and start creating wonderful things.
Hordes 'r' fun would unite with BURN EVERYTHING and start taking back land from the Speez marienz very slowly though.
5 years later
The BURN EVERYTHING would betray Hordes 'r' fun because they don't like how hordes roll because they all are grey most of the time. The Hordes 'r' fun would retreat to Antarctica to lick there wounds.
The BURN EVERYTHING and Speez marienz go toe to toe on fighting each other. The outcome of this war cannot be foretold yet....
1 year later
All the used to be dakka leaders unite to make a super-elite but super drunk ragtag bunch of people, they cut down the Speez marienz and BURN EVERYTHING and make the world whole again only to fight again on what to name it....