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Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2009/11/09 20:19:16


Post by: IceAngel


Welcome to my Ice Angel Fluff. This epic tale of my chapter has spawned from my personal quest to improve my writing and to describe the chapter that I've gamed with for several decades. Originally the fluff was only about my chapter but as I got more involved with Dakka and gained dakka friends I decided to expand my story.. After joining the Great Marine Swap I traded away and gained nearly twenty marines. As my story grew I began to incorporate my swapped marines.

As you read my tale please don't hesitate to PM me with grammar issues so I can fix them. (Grammar is still my weakness) Also, please don't be afraid to post what you like and dislike. As you read on you'll see how my story and writing has improved and changed from constructive feedback left by my readers. For those of you just starting, I can e-mail you a word doc with the entire story as now posted if you don't want to read the story on the blog. Otherwise good luck and let me know what you think.

EDIT: November 29th, 2013 - I have completed the first draft of book one, which is page 1-43 in this thread.
EDIT: February 16th, 2014 - I have completed the second draft of book one. The entire book is now posted on page 43 and 44. If you want to skip to there, click here ENJOY!
EDIT: March 17th, 2019 - Book three is completed and the edited version is being posted on page 64

Book 1 - List of Guest Marines. This group of marines were either traded for or gifted to me from various people.
Sergeant Pyrox – Fire Angels
Commander Vetov – Emperor’s Tears
Brother Evrard – Dark Angel
Brother Walters – Red Talons
Brother Desai – Sky Warden
Brother Jaska – Marines Chrysemys
Brother Reven – Blood Angels
Brother Nefas – Sinner Marine
Brother Inushi – Mantis Warriors
Brother Kvothe – Shadow Sanctus
Honored Brother Inigo – Sons of Hades


My marine swaps. Back row left to right - Reven, Aquilum, Inigo, Vetov. Front row - Jaska, Nefas, Walters, Evrard


This is Brother Inushi




Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2009/11/15 22:29:01


Post by: Athlon2736


Its really good

I like it, and its give a good idea of what happens...


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2009/11/16 17:55:24


Post by: IceAngel


* begin transmission*

Name: Ice Angel Chapter

Home world: Shattermantle

Founding: Third generation successor chapter from the Blood Angel line

Current Leader: Chapter Master Librarian Duggon

Specialties: hive warfare, close quarter specialists, zero gravity warfare

Campaigns: Cleansing of Lynx system, Third Black Crusade, Hive Fleet Leviathan

Status: At full strength, currently assisting Death Spectres in the Ghost Star System


* PURGED FROM RECORD***
* Inquisitor Xandel: Ice Angel Chapter under suspicion of using xenos technology and consistently dodging inquisitorial visits. They have impressive history of victories, but their methods have lead to several investigations. ****
* Ultramarine Company Captain Sicarius: Ice Angel chapter close combat ferocity and rapid deployment of assault troops in the defense of Kruggar IV saved the battle. However, company organization does not comply with the sacred Codex Astartes. I recommend an inquiry to their commander for an explanation. *****

Background record 797-38=JL41: Information from Mentor Chapter records, compiled from Brother Matticus

The planet of Shattermantle was a mining planet, located furthest from the sun in the Artaxerex system. The entire population lived in underground hive cities, mining highly valuable minerals near the core of the planet. Extreme cold and intense storms make the surface inhospitable, only several gate cities dotted the surface. A single moon circled Shattermantle called Xibyran, covered in industrial complexes and expansive space ports.

Many centuries ago, shortly after the Ice Angel chapter returned from Abaddon’s Third Black Crusade, the chapter returned to the Artaxerex system. During their approach to Shattermantle an unknown space hulk appeared out of warp on a collision course with Shattermantle. The space hulk, which equaled the size of their home world, smashed into Shattermantle right before their eyes. The astronomical impact pushed the hulk planet out of its regular orbit and deeper into space. More than half of the planet’s population was dead within minutes of impact. The Ice Angels soon learned the space hulk had been occupied by several xenos races; a large chaos cult to Slaaneesh, a group of Dark Eldar pirates, and a large war band of Orks called BludNnuklez Bandeetz.

Nearly every Ice Angel ship and all imperial vessels in the system docked with the planet or hulk and began searching for pockets of survivors and creating new defenses against the hulk’s ferocious denizens.

Shattermantle was now half planet / half conglomeration of space ships and debris. The Ice Angels quickly had their civilians protected. During the fighting that followed, the chapter discovered an entire company of Imperial Guard in the space hulk along with a company of Mantis Warriors, ***** PURGED FROM RECORD *****, ***** PURGED FROM RECORD *****, ***** PURGED FROM RECORD *****, and a squad of Deathwatch marines. These other regiments had been sent to investigate the space hulk when it had previously appeared in Imperial Space.

Shattermantle was floating in space for several weeks before it once again disappeared into the warp, leaving behind the moon of Xibyran and a handful of confused imperial vessels. After several hundred years the moon settled into a new orbit around the fourth planet in the system. Xibyran continues to be an industrial moon for the system and now, due to its closer relationship to the sun, has developed an atmosphere that can sustain life.

While in the warp, the Ice Angels and Imperial Guard forces combined to cleanse the hulk and rebuild their cities. According to the Ice Angels, the Chaos Cult was using ****RECORD EDITED BY UNKNOWN USER**** to move through the warp. The cleansing of the hulk took nearly 36 years, but when they declared it purged of heretics and xenos, the Ice Angels possessed one of Imperium’s largest warp bound vessels. Per Ice Angel records, they floated in the warp for a span of nearly a 100 years. However, upon re-entering real space they discovered they had only been gone 10 years per Imperial Calendar.

* Master Kargerplakk of Mars Mechanicum: This is one of the longest recorded time shifts in Imperium history. It is a well-known fact that traveling through the warp is through space AND time, but few reports have a discrepancy of this magnitude. Upon hearing of this hulk and warp travel, a contingent of Mechanicum was sent to investigate this technology, however upon arrival at the hulk Shattermantle we were told the warp technology was lost during re-entry into real time.******

*end transmission*

* opening imperial record**

subject – Artaxerex system – record 797-38=YI73

System Information – 4 planets circle one class B star, Agade Zadlin is the closest planet, barren and uninhabited. Kassite is the second planet, a gas giant. Naram and Sippar the two furthest planets have been successfully terraformed to sustain life. Floating in between Naram and Sippar is a massive asteroid belt, the Shatt-el-Hai. Shattermantle was the fifth planet before merging with a hulk, see 797-38=JL41

* close record**
* opening imperial record***

subject – Shatt-el-Hai

17th largest known in-system asteroid belt, located in Artaxerex system

The Artaxerex Imperial Fleet station is in the belt along with several solar forges and 3 major mining facilities. The Ice Angel chapter has one of their space fortresses in the belt as well. However, the Shatt-el-Hai asteroid belt is home to several species of abyssal drakes. This belt contains the highest concentration of abyssal drakes in the Imperium. Nearly 90 percent of the belt is deemed unsafe for imperials due to drake infestation. However, four human tribes inhabit the belt outside imperial safe zones living off the drakes and trading with the system planets. Once every 7.3 years, Imperial calendar (10 years system calendar), the four tribes gather for the Assiblyo-Qua. A hunting game that originally determined which tribe can claim certain territorial rights. Now, there is also a hunt for those who wish to become an Ice Angel.

* close record***


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/03/22 05:00:31


Post by: Metrosh


I like it!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/03/22 17:03:19


Post by: IceAngel


Thanks Metrosh. It's good to see another Hoosier on the forums. You wouldn't be in the Indy area would you?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/05/08 01:57:40


Post by: IceAngel


Patience

Of all of his close battle brothers, Brother Miqit was the most patient.

Through numerous campaigns his patience has been one of his greatest strengths. He first discovered the importance of patience as an Ice Angel scout in the Siptik Wars, silently waiting in ship debris for the rebellious Howling Bat Brigade ships to inspect. Then as they did, the scouts would fire tracker beacons, timed bombs, or other various devices onto the unsuspecting ships before launching surprise assaults. After all, space warfare is what the Ice Angels were known for.

Nearly 9 decades have past since Brother Miqit has become a full battle brother, now one more trial is testing his patience. The veteran Squad Uttuakki had its own trial and he was determined to pass it. Step one was simple, be allowed to participate in the trial through heroic deeds. Step two was a bit more interesting.

In the asteroid belt of Shatt-el-Hai, Abyssal Drakes by the millions live and feed. There are dozens of different species all of which have different strengths and weaknesses, but at this time Brother Miqit was only looking for one kind. The dreaded Ice Dangler Drake.

At the edge of a large conglomeration of ice shards, Brother Miqit waited. Ice Danglers were known to lay in wait in similar locales. They hide in the outskirts of the ice fields and surrounded themselves with some of the rock shards using their tentacles to hold them in place making them nearly invisible. Finally they grab an ice shard or a dead smaller drake and hold it next to their rocky forms using it as bait for drakes.

Brother Miqit had taken nearly 18 hours just to find a good ice field. For the past 46 hours he has been waiting trying to locate one of these Ice Danglers, hoping to see one strike at one of the lesser drakes. Right now there appears to be 4 smaller species of drakes in the ice field feeding off minerals in the ice or each other.

After taking a look at his chronometer in his HUD he began to recite his liturgies while checking over his gear. First he examined his bolt pistol, the white body just as clean as the day he had received it. He holstered the pistol before pulling out his combat knife. The ornate hilt was formed to resemble feathered wings while the handle ended in a light blue ice shard. Next he moved onto his 4 meter magna spear. To heavy and large to use in any atmosphere the spear was perfect for piercing the armored sides of the large drakes in space. Finally he reexamined the tip of the spear making sure the thermal charge was still ready to deliver its death blow.

As he completed his check a shadow came over his position. A 14 meter Cobalt Drake glided over propelled by its own gaseous discharge, the Cobalt Drake was known for its speed and ferocity. As the smaller drakes began to hide or flee the Cobalt Drake expelled a burst of gas so powerfully that Miqit’s asteroid began to rotate. Miqit waited for his rock to fully come around before moving. As the ice field came back into view he saw that the Cobalt Drake had a firm grasp on a smaller Speckled Dust Drake. The dust drake was already dead from the Cobalts metallic talons. Through several smaller bursts the Cobalt Drake stopped itself on the edge of the ice field and began to tear off the tough outer shell of the dust drake.

While holding his magna spear in both hands he watched, this is what he was waiting for. As the Cobalt Drake concentrated on its meal, an asteroid began to move from below the ice field. As the form got closer it began to shed its rocky shell to reveal its monstrous bulbous form. Tentacles unfurled, its solar wings expanded blocking out the star light from below.

For reasons unknown, Miqit hesitated. He never hesitated. The central orb of the drake was 20 meters in diameter but the wings were at least another 25 meters wide. The sheer size of the Ice Dangler was staggering. The eye stalks on the Ice Dangler Drake were all focused on the Cobalt Drake. He had to make his move. He had to intercept the Dangler at the moment the drakes met.

Using his jump pack he launched off his asteroid. Both hands on his spear he began to line up his thrust. He only had one chance. Even though he was moving quickly through space it seemed like a silent eternity before he reached the drakes. The Ice Dangler Drake let out a psychic screech of anticipation just as he got into range of the Cobalt Drake. The Cobalt attempted to burst away but two of the Danglers tentacles were hold fast. Regardless, the burst was enough to change the drakes trajectory. Brother Miqit refired his pack to adjust but it was too late. As he thrust his spear at the Dangler instead of a deep piercing attack it became a glancing blow. The thermal charge went off destroying the end of the spear along with one of the Danglers wings.

The psychic screech turned into a scream of pain. Miqit’s head throbbed immediately. The Cobalt Drake took this opportunity to slash and burst out of the grasp of the Dangler, but the Danglers Tongue spear pierced the cobalts body and began to reel him in. The Ice Dangler Drake began to look around its bulk with its tentacles trying to locate Miqit. Once it had, it began to rotate to bring about its tentacles. Knowing that his best chance to kill the beast had passed, he patiently waited once again for the right opportunity to strike. Pulling out his pistol and knife he recited a prayer to the Emperor and Sanguinius. The remaining solar wing of the beast blocked out the suns light, leaving Miqit to stare down the beast in the dark.

The Dangler had too many eyes to fire at and too tough a hide to shoot at with his pistol. Bringing an inferno pistol would have been too easy. Seeing that the Dangler had already used his tongue spear on the cobalt drake, the Dangler reached out with one of its eyed tentacles to grasp Miqit. The Dangler was beginning to crack the cobalts shell with its jaws when Miqit lined up his attack. The inside of the Danglers mouth was its weakest point. As the eyed tentacle pulled him in he stabbed the eye with his knife and fired a full clip into the beasts’ mouth. The screech returned and Miqit reloaded with his pistol with angelic speed. The Dangler shoved Miqit into its mouth and tried to crush him with renewed vigor, but the bulk of the Cobalt body was keeping giving Miqit enough room to avoid the majority of the crushing teeth but he had merely moments before both him and cobalt drake were crushed into mush.

Miqit stuck his blade into the side of the beasts’ mouth and began to fire every bullet in his remaining clip into the beast. Chunks of flesh and gore began to fill the mouth. The pressure built and he felt the metal of his jump pack begin to buckle. When he had expended the clip he realized the pressure from the jaws had stopped. The beast wasn’t moving any more and neither were the eye tentacles that he could still see in space.

Once again Miqit prayed to Sanguinius and thanked his blessed bolt pistol. After several minutes he extracted himself from the body of the Ice Dangler. Removing his jump pack he examined the damage and discovered that one jet was still functional. After putting the jump pack on he grabbed the remaining wing of the Ice Dangler and began to jet through space dragging the Dangler behind him.

When he returned to Shattermantle he would gift the Ice Dangler to Muttabriqu and if found worthy Muttabriqu would share a cup of the Danglers ice cold blood with Miqit making him part of the veteran unit.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/05/09 06:00:51


Post by: Gitsplitta


Great bit of fiction IceAngel! Keep up the good work! Your creative side must be workin' over-time...


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/05/10 02:17:22


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:Great bit of fiction IceAngel! Keep up the good work! Your creative side must be workin' over-time...


Thanks Gitsplitta, I've been reading lots of 40K books lately so I've been thinking up all sorts of stuff for my own army.

I'll post up some more once I've got them in text form.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/05/10 04:43:00


Post by: Gitsplitta


Looking forward to it my friend! :-)


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/05/15 14:17:01


Post by: Finch Claw


I would love to see a codex!! You have some awesome ideas.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/05/16 16:33:34


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:I would love to see a codex!! You have some awesome ideas.


lol, thanks Finch Claw. I would love to see an Ice Angel codex as well! However I am not sure I want to bother with making up my own rules. I just want to concentrate on the fluff. Keep an eye on this post because I'll be adding some more stories as I edit them.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/18 01:03:38


Post by: IceAngel


“How are you enjoying your first mission as an Uttuakki?” Bel Uri shouted from his crouched position. Miqit peaked around the back of the hemorrhaging tanker he was using as cover, the smell of some sort of sweet liquid seeping through his filtered helmet. “hmph! It certainly has been interesting” he managed to say before firing his meltagun at an incoming Ork Burna Boy incinerating the top half of its body.

“OH, come on Miqit! At least let ONE get here!” Bel Uri said while clenching his powerfist. The ork shots were bouncing all over the scrap pile he was using as cover.

“The Emperor gave us blessed bolt pistols; you should put yours to work.” Miqit replied as he moved back behind cover. The arms fire from the other side of the hanger was still heavy and keeping them from pushing forward.

Bel Uri was peaking over the top of his scrap metal pile when a side door about 60 feet from his flank flew off its hinges. Both Bel Uri and Miqit turned just in time to see a wave of Orks pouring out of the door. The lead ork was moving full speed towards them, his cleavers waving above his head.

“FOR SANGUINIUS!” Bel Uri shouted as he leapt up from his crouch to meet the Ork charge. Miqit adjusted and tried to keep some cover between himself and the orks with guns, but he realized that he would soon be surrounded. With a prayer on his lips he charged in Bel Uri’s wake, quickly coming to his brother’s aid.

Bel Uri was a blizzard of death, his chainsword parrying and deflecting blows while his powerfist destroyed everything he punched. Bel Uri was far from the largest marine in the Ice Angel chapter, but the speed in which his chainsword and powerfist worked made him one of the best close combat specialists in the chapter.

Miqit stood back to back with Bel Uri firing his meltagun and bolt pistol at anything approaching from their flank. After a few seconds of close quarter fighting a dozen orks had fallen to the Ice Angel assault and the remaining orks were turning to flee, even the orks with guns were fleeing. Bel Uri begun to chuckle as he surveyed his handy work, Miqit immediately took cover behind the nearest piece of machinery searching for targets.

Bel Uri gave a quick look around before saying, “Be calm brother, these orks are no match for the Astartes, especially the Ice Angel Chapter. This would be so much more entertaining if this Rokk hadn’t dropped all of its Orks on the planet surface already” Revving his chainsword to remove some of the gore that had accumulated on its blade, Bel Uri turned towards the first door they were attempting to breach.

“Come Miqit, let us see if we can’t find our way through this cursed pile of space debris.”

Bel Uri jogged over to the door with Miqit right behind him. The lights in the space vessel turned off leaving them in darkness. A light blue light turned on in both of their helmets, objective two had been completed. Sarabda, Tirid, and Idiptu had destroyed the generator system that was powering this section of the Rokk. As Bel Uri and Miqit began to silently move forward in the darkness the power suddenly came back online. Lights turned back on and the sound of several thousand engines kicked back on. The light blue light in their helmets turned back off. The objective wasn’t as completed as they thought.

As silently as snowflakes landing on ice, the two black armored figures moved through the halls attempting to reach their objective. Somewhere in this sector was a large hanger that they intended to open.

Bel Uri rounded a corner and dispatched a running snotling with his knee before pausing to look down three tunnels. Miqit came up to Bel Uri and confirmed that nothing was behind him.

“Which way Brother Uri?” Miqit said while trying to read some of the ork graffiti.

Bel Uri pointed to the right with his chainsword as Miqit pointed to the path in front of them. Bel Uri cocked his head trying to determine why the middle path was chosen. That’s when he saw it. In orange paint on a piece of rusted metal was “DA HNGER” Bel Uri took one step towards the center path when a large explosion erupted from their left. The hallway shuddered from the shock wave the explosion created. The explosion was followed by what must have been cannon fire. The rapid booms were soon turned into what sounded like a building crashing. Yellow flashing lights appeared in the bottom left of their HUD. Bel Uri and Miqit were immediately running full speed down the hall way towards the cannon fire.

“Bel Uri….. Miqit…. come in” a voice in their helmet sounded.

“Muttabriqu we are in bound, what in the Emperors throne is firing?!” Bel Uri asked.

A short pause in the cannon fire was interrupted by what sounded like someone tearing steel, the screaming metal soon turned into a loud plang.

“According to Umru you should be coming up right behind it, disable target immediately Rabishu is pinned and Bennu is MIA.”

Within seconds Bel Uri and Miqit rounded a corner and found themselves over looking an extremely large hanger. The hanger was hundreds of different floors and levels with cranes and equipment stretching in every direction. They couldn’t even see it all; it seemed to expand all the way around the Rokk. Across from them the closed hanger door appeared to be an extremely large metal mouth. Below them and to their right was what appeared to be the top half of a 7 story mechanical ork. It’s right arm a large pitch fork and its left arm was 5 cannons strapped together. It had its back to them; the cannons in its left arm were being reloaded by about 20 grots using all sorts of cranes and machines. As the rage in Bel Uri began to well, Miqit held his brothers shoulder and pointed over to what appeared to be an ork space bomber waiting to be reloaded.

Without further hesitation they ran along the wall towards the bomber as fast as they could. According to the shouts the cannons were almost done being reloaded. Bel Uri and Miqit jumped down two stories onto another walk way. They were now on the same level as the bomber. Bel Uri burst onto the landing and bull rushed an unsuspecting ork who gave a loud grunt before being punched by a powerfist. Miqit went straight towards the metal brace holding the bomber in place and fired his meltagun. The shot disintegrated the metal and left only an orange glow. Bel Uri was searching for something else to kill when Miqit shouted “URI USE THE TRUCK!”

Pushing the anger aside, Bel Uri concentrated on figuring out how to start the truck. A hissing sound came from below them and Miqit saw the pitched fork arm of the mounted stompa course with energy. Looking further down the hanger up against a destroyed section of wall he witnessed three black armored marines scattering. The energy of the fork was building, its pitch almost reaching a level that he couldn’t hear.

A rumble behind him soon turned into a roar that shook the floor. Bel Uri was sitting behind the large truck. With a change in grumble he got the truck moving, it went about 30 feet before crashing into the back of the bomber. Using all the trucks power Bel Uri pushed the bomber over the edge of the docking bay towards the unsuspecting stompa. The plane crashed into the stompas head and the resulting explosion ignited the cannons unused shells. Bel Uri stopped the truck on the edge of the hanger and not feeling that his job was done, got out and pushed the ork truck over the edge as well for good measure.

“Perfect timing Brothers!” Muttabriqu said into the vox. “Proceed to way point Phi”

A new way point appeared in their HUD. Leaving the hanger Miqit and Bel Uri began to move towards it. Killing a handful of grots as they passed, they descended several levels; the two Ice Angels left the normal metal hallways and were soon in a stone passage.

“This must be the asteroid center of the rokk.” Miqit stated “It may limit our communication range.”

Bel Uri flashed a HUD symbol for a halt before a handful of orks rounded the bend firing their guns. Rounds exploded off the walls and armor of the Ice Angels, unphased Miqit took aim and fired his meltagun at the closest ork, melting its stomach along with its gun. Bel Uri charged “FOR THE ICE!” he shouted as he met an ork in melee. Miqit moved up and with his left hand pulled out his bolt pistol and fired once taking out the light above Bel Uri’s head. Bathing the orks and marines in darkness the orks began to panic and fire sporadically. More orks were dieing from friendly fire then from Miqit or Bel Uri. The sound of dieing orks was soon replaced by the sound of running ones.

Bel Uri began to pursue when static filled his vox.

“repeat…… Muttabriqu repeat.” Bel Uri stated.

“Brot……s Bennu” the static filled voice said.
“Bennu! What is your position and status?!” Bel Uri asked with urgency in his voice.

Only static filled his vox but a new way point was on his HUD. Somewhere below him was Brother Bennu. Miqit and Bel Uri were once again moving but this time not towards way point Phi. Coming up to a shaft it seemed they were right above Bennu. A smokey haze was making visibility tough, a stench was also seeping through their rebreathers. Looking around Miqit and Bel Uri determined they will have to climb down the rocky shaft.

“Bennu, report!” Bel Uri once again asked but this time using the outside speaker in his helm.

A cough from below was all the response they needed before both Miqit and Bel Uri were climbing down the shaft. In a matter of minutes they were down the shaft and looking down into a larger cavern. A pile of refuse filled the cavern nearly to the top and off to one side was the form of a crushed and damaged Ice Angel. Surrounding the armored form were nearly two dozen bodies of squigs.

“What happen to you Bennu, you look like a space wolf?” Miqit asked.

Bennu chuckled and then coughed, “The Emperor protects! However, I seemed to have fallen in a pit. Did you destroy that stompa?”

“Bel Uri dropped a bomber on it” Miqit stated. Bennu tilted his head quizzically.

“Status Bennu?” Bel Uri said while bending down to inspect his brother. Bennu had squig gore all over his hands up to his elbows. His leg was twisted at a horrible angle and most likely would have to be replaced. However his worst wound was his left side that was severely burnt and melted from arm pit to thigh.

“Broken leg, most of my left side is heavily damaged; I also am out of bolt pistol magazines and missing my chain sword.” Bennu stated manner of factly.

Bel Uri nodded, handed over his bolt pistol ammo, and began to pick up Bennu. Miqit stepped away looking for Bennus chainsword and an exit. Climbing to the top of the refuse mound he saw what looked like a chainsword hilt. He pulled it out from the refuse and was taken back by what he found. The chainsword was built for a space marine, but not for an Ice Angel. The bottom half was all that remained and its quartered coloring suggested another chapter. After wiping away some of the filth he saw a phrase etched into the blade. “The Tears from the Emperor will cleanse t….” The remainder of the phrase was missing along with the remainder of the blade.

Attaching it to his belt he moved away looking for a path. He saw several tunnels but only one looked clear enough to let them pass. Hearing his two brothers moving towards him he hoisted up his meltagun and moved towards the tunnel entrance. Bel Uri followed behind all while supporting Brother Bennu.

The tunnel was dark and after only a few bends no ambient light reached the walls. Miqit moved forward through the unfinished walls once again reciting a litany of patience. His steady breathing and steps only interrupted by the occasional crunch of garbage under his feet.

After a few more minutes of winding tunnels they were heading deeper into the rokk. The garbage under there feet was soon replaced with solid stone and the tunnel began to get thinner. Soon the three Ice Angels were moving sideways down the tunnel. Miqit, leading with his meltagun, turned one final tight corner before arriving in a chamber slightly larger then the hallway, with one sturdy looking dusty door.

Shoulder to shoulder the Marines stood. The door wasn’t quiet as tall as they were but wide enough for them to get through. Bel Uri got ready to open the door, Miqit prepared to move in, Bennu whispered a prayer to the Emperor. Bel Uri put some pressure on the door, realized it was locked, and then punched it with his powerfist. The old door exploded from the impact and before the shards had even reached the floor Miqit was in the room moving down the left side seeking a target. Bel Uri was in the door way holding Bennu up who was also seeking targets with his orange bolt pistol.

There may not have been any Orks to kill or maim but what they did find made the rage in all three marines begin to boil. All three chanted a prayer to the Emperor. The room was a stone room with a tall vaulted ceiling. Across from them was another door, much sturdier then the one they bashed with some sort of bulky locking mechanism. Chains dangled from the ceiling and the room was dominated by some sort of machine with a handful of claw arms. On the center dais in the room was a mangled space marine, one of the claw arms was pinning him to the floor. There were a total of 7 pits in the room; each one had the remains of a human or ork prisoner.

For several seconds, Miqit stood perfectly still wondering how any space marine could be captured by an Ork. Bel Uri was beginning to tremble with anger. Bennu began to chant the litany of inner peace. Realizing that Bennu was trying to help out Bel Uri, Miqit added his voice to the chant. The inner turmoil in Bel Uri began to subside and soon he was also chanting. After finishing the final verse, Bel Uri took a deep breath. He looked at Bennu. Nothing was said and even though their helmets were on, Miqit could tell that his two battle brothers were having a silent conversation.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/20 09:15:48


Post by: Finch Claw


They seem to be extraordinarily angry. There on a stealth mission, right? so thats why they have black armor? Nice story though, nice names.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/21 02:31:13


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:They seem to be extraordinarily angry. There on a stealth mission, right? so thats why they have black armor? Nice story though, nice names.


They always wear black, only the Ice Angel death company wears white like my avatar. Check out my gallery, the squad in the story I have painted up and have pictures of.

The mission they are on is not a stealth mission, as the story continues you'll learn more. I hope you didn't notice to many grammatical errors. Thanks for the feedback, btw.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/21 09:24:48


Post by: Finch Claw


Lol i'm naot goewd width miye grammer eitheer. I'll check the gallery out to.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/21 09:30:03


Post by: Finch Claw


<goes into gallery, clicks on army image> Holy MAJOLY! you have a 'eck load! nice painting btw


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/21 12:06:10


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:<goes into gallery, clicks on army image> Holy MAJOLY! you have a 'eck load! nice painting btw


lmao, yes, yes i do have a 'eck load. I should really take a new picture of the ones that I have repainted. The army is slowly starting to look good. Some of those marines I had painted FOREVER ago, they need an update.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/21 19:26:03


Post by: Gitsplitta


Excellent story IceAngel. Just enjoyed it while munching on my lunch! :-) Keep up the excellent work. Pardon me for being slow, but is the chamber they encountered chaos influenced? I'm guessing by the sacrificial nature of the scene and the reactions of the marines. Or is that part of the "wait till the next installment" hook?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/22 04:18:45


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:Excellent story IceAngel. Just enjoyed it while munching on my lunch! :-) Keep up the excellent work. Pardon me for being slow, but is the chamber they encountered chaos influenced? I'm guessing by the sacrificial nature of the scene and the reactions of the marines. Or is that part of the "wait till the next installment" hook?


You will have to wait and see Gitsplitta. I don't want to give anything away!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/22 04:22:41


Post by: Gitsplitta


Waiting with baited breath....


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/06/22 09:02:40


Post by: Finch Claw


Hey a new orkmoticon! Thank you for the friend invite


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/03 03:05:39


Post by: IceAngel


Bel Uri took a deep breath and assisted Bennu across the room towards the sturdy door. Miqit cautiously approached the marine under the claw. The naked space marine looked rather pale and was without any of his armor. Very precise cuts and wounds were all over his body. Every single Imperial tattoo on his body was scarred over from various kinds of wounds and burns. It looked like he had a lot of broken ribs and one of his legs was broken in several places. His dark hair was matted with moisture and upon closer inspection he appeared to have several odd pins in his spine. The claw that was pinning him to the floor looked like it was meant to shear lumber; instead it had all sorts of rods and metal welded to it. One pincer had pierced the marine’s good thigh while the other pincer was mashing the marine’s arm to the floor.

Bel Uri sat Bennu down on some sort of engine block and turned, “Can you tell what chapter he is from Miqit?” he asked.

Miqit tried to gain some information from the tattoos but they were too destroyed to read. “No, he is too scarred and doesn’t seem to have any legible markings on him besides the aquila that I can make out. “ He leaned closer and examined the marine’s face. His one eye that wasn’t swollen seemed to be moving behind his eye lid. “Brothers! He still lives.”

“Leave no brother behind, “Bel Uri responded, “Can you carry him out of here Miqit?”

“Certainly, unarmored he shouldn’t even slow me down.” Miqi responded before further examining the claw. Following his gaze Bel Uri saw the controls for the claw weren’t far to his right. He moved over and saw that the panel looked a lot like it was at one time an auspex unit for a chimera. Over all of the buttons ork glyphs were drawn in blue ink. He pushed several and nothing happened, finally he found an unmarked switch that actually fired up the engine that Bennu was sitting on.

“By the Emperor!” Bennu said before hastily getting up off the quaking engine onto his good leg and hoping over by the door.

Now that the engine was on several of the buttons lit up, he quickly moved the claw up a few feet out of the marine’s body. As the claw exited his leg, Miqit examined the body once again before picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. Miqi had the naked figure over his left shoulder and pulled his meltagun back out with his right arm.

“I think it is time we left this rokk, only a few more hours before the Frozen Rage returns.” Bel Uri said while moving back Bennu.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/03 03:09:04


Post by: IceAngel


Silence.

In the silence he closed his eyes. He concentrated on the feeling of the harness holding him in place. He felt his brothers around him. He moved his right hand over to feel the meltagun Kwu-akki in its lock down position. He was honored to be wielding such an ancient and revered weapon. This was his first mission in the veteran Squad Uttuakki, he had been training with the Squad for months during warp travel but he still felt a hint of excitement from the thought of warring with his new unit.

Miqit opened his eyes and looked up. Like all Ice Angel vehicles, the drop pod he was in was bathed in a blue light. To his right was Bel Uri, one of the oldest members of the unit. His right hand was encased in a powerfist that had slain thousands of various aliens. To Miqit’s left and across from him were three other members of the unit Tirid, Idiptu, and Sarabda. Per unit tradition, instead of white weapons all of theirs were orange and each member had painted simple runes or designs on their helmets. Sarabda, who wielded the squad’s other meltagun, looked up from his reverie and caught the gaze of Miqit. Sarabda was the biggest marine in the squad but also the quietest. Even though they were all wearing their helmets Miqit could almost feel the gaze coming from Sarabda. Miqit gave a slight nod and Sarabda returned the gesture.

The boisterous Bel Uri took a deep breathe before beginning his mission checks. After a few seconds of system checks a prayer was given by Idiptu. The moment the prayer was finished the soft blue light of the pod was interrupted by a flashing yellow light. They had entered the fire path of the rokk they were about to infiltrate.

Five drop pods were approaching the rokk while their ship, the Frozen Rage, was attacking from range onto the other side. By the time the stealth drop pods were sited by the Orks the first was already adjusting its trajectory to land. The first pod hit the rokk and exploded sending out an EMP wave to temporarly disrupt all electronics. The next two pods landed, further away from the first, opened and began to spew forth explosive rounds into the nearby ork structures. Meanwhile the last two pods landed by the first pod and rapidly deployed the 10 man squad.

Miqit, Bel-Uri, Tirid, Idiptu, and Sarabda headed towards the nearest Ork tower, light was still pouring out from under its wrecked form. Rabishu, Umru, Sidana, Bennu, and Muttabriqu headed in the other direction towards the great Rokk hanger. Over the vox the sergeant Muttabriqu chimed in, “Brothers! Resistance appears to be light, let us show this xenos filth what mistake they have made by letting Ice Angels on their Rokk!”

The squad responded with shouts and grunts. Upon reaching the tower Miqit and Sarabda further opened up their entrance with some melta charges. Several ork bodies floated out into the void of space before the five marines pushed themselves through their new entrance. Once through a nearby air lock Bel Uri and Miqit split off towards the hanger while the other three marines went towards the generators. Squad Uttuakki progressed through much of the outer rokk before the intruder siren in the rokk was even turned on.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/04 12:04:47


Post by: Finch Claw


Nice writing, are we going to find out who this tortured marine is? And just an idea, instead of a flame thrower, and ice thrower, fires liquid nitrogen that makes anything incased in it brittle.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/04 19:21:37


Post by: IceAngel


oh yeah, there is much more to come.

That would be a cool idea for an ice thrower. I may have to use that idea in further stories. Thanks!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/11 15:09:48


Post by: IceAngel


“AAAAAAHHHHHH” was all the warning Bel-Uri needed. Sidestepping with super human speed he dodged the diving ork. Surprised at his speed the ork jammed his big choppa into the floor where Bel-Uri was moments ago. Before the ork could pull the choppa out of the metal floor Bel-Uri was running him through with his chainsword. The orange tip of the blade hit the floor before being pulled back out.

Three shots rang out from Bennu’s bolt pistol. An ork fell off the balcony above and landed not far from Bel-Uri’s latest victim. The long hallway was oddly shaped with several floors of balconies above, both walls looked to be exterior hulls of imperial vessels with balconies and passageways cut in. A dozen or so ork bodies now decorated the floor.

“I’m out” Bennu stated while scanning the balconies.

Miqit slid out of cover, crossed the hallway, and handed him his last clip. Bennu reloaded as Bel-Uri returned. “We must move on, now that we have signals again we should be able to reach waypoint Phi shortly.”

Miqit went back to his side of the hall and picked up the naked unconscious marine. His bolt pistol was in his hand with only a few rounds left in it. Bel-Uri, with Bennu, began to move down the hall as fast as they could manage when a distant explosion was heard. The lights in the hall dimmed and the light blue light in their HUD flashed on again.

Bel-Uri approached the corner to a hallway when a large garage door at the end of the hall opened. Before the door was even half way open Miqit holstered his pistol and threw his last frag grenade into opening. The four marines were heading down the side hallway when the small explosion went off. The sound of screaming orks immediately followed.

At the next intersection, Miqit took up the lead. Bel-Uri was still assisting the wounded Bennu but they were setting a quick pace. They went through several blast doors before entering a large room. The hexagon shaped room had four entrances and was tiered down two meters in the center of the room; some sort of control panel was dormant in the center. All around the perimeter were short metal walls that were welded to the floor. 30 maybe 40 ork bodies littered the room; most had been bashed or crushed by what looked to be powerfist attacks. To their right Muttabriqu stood.

Muttabriqu had been squad leader for nearly 150 years. His armor was covered with purity seals and his pointy helmet had a large wavy orange line painted vertically over his left eye. His powerfist crackled and his plasma pistol still smoked from its most recent use.

“Welcome brothers” he said. His smooth voice sounded calm and confident as always.
“We must move to our exit immediately, the orks are finally beginning to organize their counter assault. “
He paused “Who are you carrying Brother Miqit?” he said quizzically.

“We found this prisoner after we located Brother Bennu, he has not spoken but is still alive.” Miqit responded.

“Where was….” The sound of boots and orks shouting interrupted Muttabriqu’s sentence. Muttabriqu stared down the hall away across from him. “Hanger is behind me, move out.”

Without hesitation the marines moved past Muttabriqu and he quickly followed.

They traveled a short distance before passing through another blast door which led them into some sort of staging area. Nearly every door lining the walls was damaged or had scrap in it. They headed to their right. The hallway they were traversing was large enough for a land raider to fit in but there was little cover besides some random truck or tank parts. In front of them an explosion blew out a door larger then a rhino. The door flew across the hall with a clang. Before the smoke had begun to dissipate Tirid and Idiptu were in the hall looking both directions searching for targets. Their black armor was covered in soot and grease.

“Perfect timing as always” Bel-Uri shouted. Sarabda walked out from the hallway, nearly half a head taller then Tirid and Idiptu, his chest plate was heavily damaged and the barrel of his meltagun was sheared off.

Sarabda was the quietest of Squad Uttuakki but the speed in which he tactically assessed situations was nearly precognizant. He moved towards Bel-Uri and took Bennu in order to let Bel-Uri the use of both hands.

“Muttabriqu, the Frozen Rage is 12 minutes out. We have secured transport but according to my scans they are gathering on the perimeter of the hanger. “Umru said through the vox.

“We are in route Brother Umru, eta six minutes.”Muttabriqu responded.

Without words spoken or commands given, Muttabriqu and his marines ran down the hall. The unencumbered marines moved ahead and peered down any open doors or passageways. Sarabda ran with Bennu in his arms as if he were a child, Bennu wielded two bolt pistols.

As they approached the end of the hall they entered once again into the vast hanger. Smoke now filled the hanger, destroyed weapons and bombed out vehicles were on nearly every platform. The vast mouth that protected the hanger was now open, only the field now protected the hanger from space. Shots rang out to their left and when they looked over they saw a platform above them being peppered with fire. Muttabriqu took point and began to wind a path up the wall crossing empty platforms and rumbling machines.

The marines had covered nearly half the distance when an ork scream came over the speaker system and rang through the hanger. “KILL DA HUMIES! WAAAAAGH” In response hundreds of ork voices bellowed out their rage. Orks began to poor in from doors and openings on nearly every level.
“Up two more, over to the ship, and then down on top. Tirid, Idiptu and Bel-Uri rear guard. Move” Muttabriqu said to his unit over the vox.

After a few more platforms they could see clearly the ship that their fellow brothers had commandeered. It appeared to be a rebuilt thunderhawk. Some of the old paint could still be seen under the bulky metal plates the orks had installed. One wing was entirely scratch built and seemed to be sagging giving the entire ship a sad look. The main turret on top had also been replaced by what looked like a chimera autocannon turret. The entire front end had been replaced and instead of having a front ramp there were two side by side demolisher cannons covered in red paint.

At point, Muttabriqu was dispatching the few orks that got in their way, but most of the action was going on behind them. Bel-Uri was in hand to hand with what looked to be a constant stream of orks coming out of a side tunnel they had just passed. Tirid and Idiptu were killing all of the orks that spilled out around Bel-Uri with bolt pistol or chainswords. Idiptu was beginning to chant a battle hymn, his beautiful voice raising everyone’s spirits.

In front of them and now down a level Rabishu and Sidana were laying down a constant stream of fire from heavy weapons. The ork contraptions they were firing were horribly inaccurate but shot out such large caliber ammo that it had torn up a lot of the surrounding platforms. Rabishu was actually shaking from constant rumble his cannon were causing. They were surrounded but the orks had no easy way to reach the platform with the thunderhawk.

Only one platform away before they were directly above the thunderhawk pad. Miqit was fourth in the row of marines hustling along. Muttabriqu was on the platform over by a recessed ladder urging Sarabda and Bennu to climb down. The platform looked more like a dock stretching straight out into the void of the hanger. It was wide enough for two dreadnoughts to stand side by side.

Sharp whistles sounded below and the explosions that followed shook their platform. The crack of autocannon fire responded. The hanger lit up with a bright light as something exploded on a distant platform. Sarabda and Bennu disappeared down the ladder moving towards the thunderhawk. Miqit was about to move down when the doors on the closest platform next to them opened up. Out walked an ork machine with a large claw arm and some sort of cannon. It fired at Muttabriqu, he put up his fist to protect his helmet. The ammo appeared to be scrap metal with a few stikkbombs in the mix. It stuck in his armor and one particularly large piece tore off part of his back pack. The reloading mechanism on the killa kan was already dumping more “ammo” in the cannon. Muttabriqu was about to launch over when Miqit came running past. Miqit jumped from their platform towards the kan. Kwu-akki was in his hands. His jump sent him flying over the space between the platforms, he leveled his meltagun and waited until the last moment. The claw arm began to reach out to grab him but at the last second Miqit fired the holy Kwu-akki. The shot went into the visor of the kan and out the back. He then crashed right into it knocking the kan over on its back. Miqit stood up and looked back at Muttabriqu who nodded his head in approval when a hail of scrap metal shot and bounced all over the downed kan. Two more kans were hobbling onto the platform from the open garage. Miqit took cover behind the downed kan when Muttabriqu jumped the gap and engaged the closest kan.

By now Sarabda and Bennu had reached the thunderhawk. Tirid had picked up the unconscious marine and carried him down as well. Bel-Uri and Idiptu were still holding off the orks approached from the other side.

Muttabriqu was dancing with the killa kan easily dodging all of the klaw attacks before he slid around the kan out of the klaws reach and began to tear apart exposed wiring and punching with his powerfist into the kans back. Miqit waited until the other kan turned to face Muttabriqu before running up and taking out one of its legs with his meltagun. Kwu-akki sang with a constant hiss as he fired twice more, destroying the cannon arm and finally one in the back of the kan.

Down the hall more orks were approaching. Miqit took up a good firing position when Muttabriqu threw the last of his grenades down the hall. “We must move brother, time is running short.” Muttabriqu stated. The thunderhawk fired up its engines and several heavy bolters on the side began to search for targets before spitting out destruction.

They both ran and jumped towards the ladder platform when the grenades silenced the charging orks. Bel-Uri was already moving down and Idiptu was covering him when they arrived. Idiptu stayed until all of the marines were below him before he climbed down the ladder. The fire onto the thunderhawk gunship had increased and the ship had taken several hits but still held. Idiptu ran onto the downed ramp into the ship before Rabishu and Sidana gave up their firing positions and joined them. The Thunderhawk was now firing in every direction its cannons could. Tirid was actually in an exposed bubble on the top manually firing the autocannon turret at the surrounding orks.

As the ramp closed, several large inner claws clamped over the ramp and held it tight. Two more blast doors separated the marines from the exit now. The inner most room held Bennu, the unconscious marine, Miqit and Sarabda. Umru and Muttabriqu were in the cockpit. The other marines were throughout the ship manning weapon controls.

The thunderhawks engines began to rev up. The lumbering ship picked up off the platform and the landing gear went inside the belly of the ship. The ship began to list to one side before Umru sent the ship forward out into space. Before they crossed the field Umru did send a signal to blow out the remaining charges he had set. The field protecting the hanger then faded and failed. All of the unprotected orks in the hanger were sucked out into space and the vehicle fires went out.

As the hawk sped up away from the Orkk Rokk the ship passed a stream of small missile followed up by one large missile the size of their thunderhawk. The missiles entered the now unprotected hanger and destroyed the hanger. The larger missile went through all the damaged structure and when it exploded the entire rokk was blown into chunks. Debris peppered the fleeing thunderhawk but no serious damage was sustained.

The Squad all cheered for another successful mission and for the Emperors grace. Miqit sat down next to the wounded marine and once again took a moment to examine him.

“Squad Uttuakki, this is Captain Ruusa, excellent work! The Emperor shines his light upon you as always.”

“The Emperor shines his light on all Ice Angels, captain.” Muttabriqu responded.

“Casualties?” the captain asked.

“None, several wounds and we have located a prisoner marine.” He responded.

“Hanger 1 is clear for your landing” one of the ships servitors chimed in.

The Frozen Rage had adjusted itself so that the Thunderhawk wouldn’t need to turn at all but simply glide in and stop. As the Thunderhawk came to a clumsy landing the brothers were gathering in the center room.

Bel-Uri was already weaving a tale of their mission. Tirid and Idiptu were adding in their own flavor as usual. Miqit was about to say something when a scar on the downed marines back caught his eye. The scar was done with a delicate knife and it was no larger then a bolter round. It was a series of three runes that looked alien and not ork. Concentrating for a second, Miqit commited the runes to memory before rejoining the tale his brothers were weaving. Miqit could already see it; tonight in the Hall of Time Bel Uri would be in front of the chapter telling his tale, The Tale of Miqit’s first mission and the fall of the ork rokk.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/12 05:21:32


Post by: Finch Claw


I enjoyed the read, thank you very much.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/12 12:00:18


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:I enjoyed the read, thank you very much.


Thanks Finch! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

It may be a few before that next installment comes out. I think in the next section we will get to meet more of the Ice Angel chapter.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/12 15:48:07


Post by: Gitsplitta


Hey IceAngel, great story!

My only suggestion for improvement is to give a little more time and care to the actual combat sequences because we can all relate to them (as we all encounter them on the table top). Don't rush through them... embellish them just a bit... just enough to turn up the "heroic" volume a bit.

Thanks for your work and creativity though... really a fun read.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/13 12:23:39


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta: I'm glad you enjoyed the read. I'll elaborate more in the combat scenes on my next one and we can see how well it turns out. I am still trying to figure out the best way to portray and write out my ideas but I greatly appreciate your feedback. Thanks!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/13 14:23:39


Post by: Gitsplitta


You do a great job of weaving the story together and keeping it moving.... that's often very difficult. You got that down. When you write an action sequence though, some times it hard for me to picture in my mind exactly what happened and I have to read it a few times to try and puzzle it out. That might just be me being dense... but I thought I'd mention it.

If the actual combat sequence is important in your story, then you want to make sure I understand it so I can appreciate it. If the combat sequence isn't that important (I mean not the PRIMARY focus)... then you don't want me getting hung up on trying to figure it out & losing track of the over-all story in the process. Either way, the easier it is for me to understand the action, the greater impact you have on me as the reader.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/14 06:16:18


Post by: Finch Claw


I'm currently reading some Abnett, one thing I learnt from reading his books is how you have to balance out description with the flow of the story and also the use of punctuation. The description of something, say a city, can take up five paragraphs or more, although to keep the reader from getting bored you have to reward them with some fairly simple text. Also fight scenes should be balanced between simple and extensive, the use of commas and full stops in a fight scene slows the reader down where as the use of less would speed the reader up, creating the effect of motion.

I seriously have no idea what i just wrote about.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/14 11:18:19


Post by: Gitsplitta


I thought it was rather insightful... never occurred to me to simulate motion with the actual flow of the sentences. May have to look up this "Abnett" guy...


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/14 13:28:08


Post by: IceAngel


Dan Abnett is fantastic. I am reading through his Gaunts Ghosts series now. I really liked Eisenhorn and the Horus Heresy books that he has done are some of my favorite. I think out of all of the Black Library Authors I like him the best.

I understand what you're both saying and I think for me, I am going to try and write up some more elaborate combat scenes and then compare. Abnett does have a fantastic way of having his writing mimic the combat at times, he also doesn't do that often so when it occurs it is a more powerful tool. I certainly agree that important combats need to be more drawn out but I think I need to see how well I can write them and find out what works best for me. lol, if I can't write a good combat scene I don't plan on getting into to much detail. Heck, if I can't write a good combat scene I shouldn't be writing any 40k fiction, lol.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/16 08:31:08


Post by: Finch Claw


*Gasps*


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 01:28:54


Post by: IceAngel


“Vaz, we’ve got a blip coming through the hatch on your 2. Move to engage, I’ll cover”

The only response he gave was an affirmative blip sent through his hud. Mi-Luqua Vaz pivoted and moved up towards the hatch. Two of his battle brothers layed down covering fire while he advanced. The metal floor was coated in rust spots and blood, mainly ork blood. Vaz came upon, and took cover behind, a large bent exhaust pipe that appeared to have been hit by a vehicle. The black smog was pouring out the end and out of several cracks. The hatch was built into a wall that supported one of the sky platforms docking pads.

Two loud clangs were followed by a bellowing yell. The hatch swung open just before a huge ork burst through. The ork was in a gray armored suit and wielded some sort of arm cannon that belched rounds as big as a marine’s fist. Vaz kept his head down and saw the destruction the ork was creating on the Ice Angel position. Metal buckled and ferrocrete barriers cracked under the large caliber bullets. Several of his squad members had to dive for better cover, Brother Juuk wasn’t quite so lucky and had his foot blown clean off.

The ork stomped forward and walked past the exhaust pipe. Using the smog as cover Vaz rounded the other side of the pipe. No other orks were exiting the wall hatch that he could see. The armored ork had taken several more thundering steps and was laying a hail of fire towards the tactical squad. Vaz stepped away from the pipe and pulled up his bolter. In a split second he had fully examined the orks heavily modified body armor. The only weakness he could spot was the ammo feeder and some patchs over the orks right shoulder.

Vaz fired two shots into the ammo feeder and two into the patch. The ork lurched forward as the small explosion rocked his body. Vaz lowered his bolter as the ork slowly pivoted around. The orks gun arm was limp on its side and gray smoke was oozing out of the ruined ammo feeder. The orks bionic eye was nothing more then a laser sight but its good eye was glaring at Vaz with a level of hate that displayed how much that gun meant to him.

The Ork’s choppa slid out of a forearm sheath as he leapt at Vaz. The pistons in his legs sending him further than Vaz had expected. Vaz tumbled to his left to avoid the downward chop. The ork bellowed in rage as he landed and followed his next step with a downward thrust towards Vaz’s black armored stomach. With few options available to him Vaz smacked away the huge hooked blade with his bolter. The blade only scratched his armor but the hooks pulled the bolter out of his hands. The ork chuckled and with a flick sent the bolter flying away from them. Its clatter was only interrupted by the fire fight that was going on behind them. Other orks were moving up to engage the outnumbered tactical squad but to Vaz, his focus was on this huge bionic ork.

Vaz took a glimpse down at his sacred dagger when the ork quick stepped towards him. Vaz side stepped the orks thrust and punched the ork several times in what he thought was thin armor over the orks stomach. It turned out to be solid metal. The ork began to laugh and went for an over head chop. Vaz stepped in towards the chop and upper cutted the ork. His fist connected with the orks metal jaw with such force that the implanted jaw tore out on one side and dangled. Letting go of the choppa the ork grabbed at Vaz and got a hold of his back pack. Instead of resisting Vaz let the ork pick him up. The ork was about to toss him towards the edge of the sky platform when Vaz reached out and grabbed the corner of the orks dangling jaw. The orks good eye bulged as his toss almost tore off the rest of his own jaw. Vaz’s feet barely touched the ground before he lept back up into the orks face. This time Vaz punched his fist through the orks unprotected mouth into its brain. The ork had a look of utter shock before his eye rolled back into his head and he fell backwards onto the platform.

Vaz once again looked down at his sacred dagger. He began to remember the nightmare that shamed his honor when ork fire grazed his armor. Mi-Luqua Vaz was once again diving for cover and soon had his bolter. As he returned fire he thought to himself, these orks were not worthy of his rage, his blade would have to wait for a more worthy adversary.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 01:29:01


Post by: IceAngel


Thoughts?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 01:53:33


Post by: whalemusic360


Dang, Im gunna have to dig thru this on my next late nite at work. The bit I skimmed looked very grimdark approprate.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 02:32:47


Post by: Finch Claw


Nice choreographed fight sequence. Although I would fix up one thing, "a large exhaust pipe and took cover. The pipe was bent at an odd angle as if the pipe had hit by a vehicle." You didn't need the extra sentence you could type "upon a large exhaust pipe and took cover, it was bent at an odd angle as if the pipe had hit by a vehicle." If i had it my way would throw a few adjectives in there too. Nice work as always!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 02:44:39


Post by: Gitsplitta


Much better IceAngel... good sequence, easy to "see" the action as I read it. The whole pipe thing could be re-worked I think to make it a bit more succinct... but really, that's small potatoes. Good work!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 02:59:14


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


I haven't read all the fluff yet, but I will no worries there as it is good fluff. I would so far as to say that anyone who is going to post their ideas for new chapters on the forums should take a look at what you have going here as an example of how it should be done.

Also an idea springs to mind, I am not sure if your IceAngels still have their Sus-an membrane (the one that allows suspended animation). If they still do you could have the suspended animation take the form of deep freezeing where a battle brother is frozen solid for years at a time until he is needed. May work out well for marines who fall to the black rage, simply freeze them solid till the next battle.

Prehaps you have already thought of something simular to this, which is why your death company marines are white.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 03:02:22


Post by: Finch Claw


Ingenious!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 03:09:24


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:I haven't read all the fluff yet, but I will no worries there as it is good fluff. I would so far as to say that anyone who is going to post their ideas for new chapters on the forums should take a look at what you have going here as an example of how it should be done.

Also an idea springs to mind, I am not sure if your IceAngels still have their Sus-an membrane (the one that allows suspended animation). If they still do you could have the suspended animation take the form of deep freezing where a battle brother is frozen solid for years at a time until he is needed. May work out well for marines who fall to the black rage, simply freeze them solid till the next battle.

Perhaps you have already thought of something similar to this, which is why your death company marines are white.



I had actually thought of a similar idea but hadn't worked out the specifics on how it would work. Thank you for your suggestion I will most likely be using that in the future.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 03:33:44


Post by: IceAngel


The story of Mi-Luqua Vaz has been edited, pipe section altered, and a few more adjectives thrown in the mix. Thoughts?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 03:55:40


Post by: Finch Claw


Lol Not trying to be fussy here, its just that you used commas where they aren't needed. Thanks anyway


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 04:04:03


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:Lol Not trying to be fussy here, its just that you used commas where they aren't needed. Thanks anyway


At least I used apostrophes correctly. (its = it's) lmao


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/19 04:07:11


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


IceAngel wrote:
Ma55ter_fett wrote:I haven't read all the fluff yet, but I will no worries there as it is good fluff. I would so far as to say that anyone who is going to post their ideas for new chapters on the forums should take a look at what you have going here as an example of how it should be done.

Also an idea springs to mind, I am not sure if your IceAngels still have their Sus-an membrane (the one that allows suspended animation). If they still do you could have the suspended animation take the form of deep freezing where a battle brother is frozen solid for years at a time until he is needed. May work out well for marines who fall to the black rage, simply freeze them solid till the next battle.

Perhaps you have already thought of something similar to this, which is why your death company marines are white.



I had actually thought of a similar idea but hadn't worked out the specifics on how it would work. Thank you for your suggestion I will most likely be using that in the future.


I'm a professional daydreamer, when presented with the frame work for a story I can't help but flesh it out in my mind.

I blame you for presenting me with such good fluff


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/20 03:15:01


Post by: IceAngel


Well thanks for the input and positive feedback.

Ma55ter_fett and Whalemusic360 let me know how you like the whole thing once you've read it all.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/20 03:17:50


Post by: whalemusic360


Will do! Looking forward to getting my very own Ice Angel.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/20 03:34:25


Post by: Asherian Command


O.o Nice lore. would love to see a painted battle company


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/20 08:51:33


Post by: Finch Claw


'iye, aym" ,vavrery ?,goued" ayet! ,greammare (for those who can't read this- I am very good at grammar).


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/22 04:42:12


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Ma55ter_fett wrote:
IceAngel wrote:
Ma55ter_fett wrote:I haven't read all the fluff yet, but I will no worries there as it is good fluff. I would so far as to say that anyone who is going to post their ideas for new chapters on the forums should take a look at what you have going here as an example of how it should be done.

Also an idea springs to mind, I am not sure if your IceAngels still have their Sus-an membrane (the one that allows suspended animation). If they still do you could have the suspended animation take the form of deep freezing where a battle brother is frozen solid for years at a time until he is needed. May work out well for marines who fall to the black rage, simply freeze them solid till the next battle.

Perhaps you have already thought of something similar to this, which is why your death company marines are white.



I had actually thought of a similar idea but hadn't worked out the specifics on how it would work. Thank you for your suggestion I will most likely be using that in the future.


I'm a professional daydreamer, when presented with the frame work for a story I can't help but flesh it out in my mind.

I blame you for presenting me with such good fluff


I greatly enjoyed it, looking forward to seeing what happens with the rescued marine.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/23 03:56:38


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett - thanks man! I am glad you enjoyed. I look forward to having the time to write the next story. I may actually write a couple other side stories first and then get back to the wounded marine story.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/23 04:06:48


Post by: whalemusic360


The wonded marine could turn out to be one you get from the GMS.
All I've got left to read is the one on this page.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/28 04:12:48


Post by: IceAngel


With a hiss and a quite kurr-chunk the sarcophagus sealed itself into the dreadnought frame. Several lights on the wall panels lit up blue and orange while other lights began to blink with increasing speed. Four armored plates covered over the sarcophagus to protect the ancient passenger. Brother Philosir stood behind the dreadnought checking its system. He looked out of place in his red tech priest armor but his servo arms worked the panels with a sense of familiarity.

Half a dozen servitors worked in the room readying the venerable dreadnought suit. Its black armor was oiled and prepared for battle; its hunter killer missile bays were fully loaded. The right arm was a typical dreadnought close combat weapon with built in meltagun but the left arm was still unattached. In the hall across from the dreadnought stood one more marine, his pointed helm in light blue and the zero gravity jump pack strapped across his back. Even though Captain Ruusa was in his armor, fully prepared for battle, he only stood a third as tall as the dreadnought.

Two servitors rolled up to the dreadnought and detached large cables from its rear paneling. As they placed the cables back on the wall Brother Philosir said a prayer to the Emperor. As he completed his prayer he pushed one final key before turning to the dreadnought.

Most of the remaining cables detached themselves from the suit and the dreadnought appeared to take a deep breath. The wide glass slit on the sarcophagus shield began to glow with an eerie blue light.

Brother Philosir stepped in front of the dreadnought and bowed his head. “Brother, I hope your slumber was peaceful" he spoke with a monotone voice.

The dreadnought flexed its one attached arm and leaned forward to look down at the red armored marine. “Yes, Brother Philosir, the slumber was peaceful. May the Emperor bless your skills and constant vigilance.” The voice that came through the speaker system sounded like it was from an old poet, its Bhaalian accent very thick.

Brother Philosir bowed once again before stepping away to complete his task.

“Brother Frakatuzuli, I am glad to have you with us once again.” Captain Ruusa stated.

“Ah, Captain” the dreadnought said while several small sensors deployed across his back “I take it we’re not at Shattermantle yet?”

“Unfortunantly no, we have woken you for an important mission. We’ve been assisting an Imperial force that has been tasked with preventing the invasion of an Ork Waaaagh. A band of Space Wolves has been cleansing the planet while we’ve been purging space. I’d like you to……”

“Kill and destroy the xenos, yes yes. Since I am still missing an arm I assume I’m using the Anchor?” Frakatuzuli interrupted.

With a short chuckle at the ancient dreadnoughts assessment, Ruusa responded “You’re correct, would you like me to tell you about the mission or surprise you?”

With a hearty laugh the dreadnought shook the room. The last few cables detached and recoiled into the walls. “Fill me in on the ride over, just please tell me what made this mission so important.” He requested.

Captain Ruusa took a few steps back to give the dreadnought some room. “Squad Uttuakki infiltrated one of the medium sized rokks and returned with a wounded space marine from another chapter. He hasn’t woken from his wounds but should survive the ordeal. We think…..”

“AH, you want me to break into another Rokk so we can disable and search.” Frakatuzuli took a step forward. “Excellent idea Ruusa! I agree with you as usual.”
After one more step, the dreadnought suit was out of its docking station and the servitors began to reset the station for the suits eventual return. Brother Philosir walked around the dreadnought suit and gave one final blessing.

As Captain Ruusa watched the blessing he began to think back to the first time he saw Brother Frakatuzuli, more affectionately known in the Ice Angel Chapter as Frank. The name was actually given to him by a Salamander named Vulkan He’stan. Brother Frakatazuli owes his life to He’stan, but has repaid the salamanders dozens of times over. Back then the Captain was a newly initiated brother who had just joined his first tactical unit. Frakatuzuli was in his dreadnought suit even then and had been for thousands of years. Brother Frakatuzli was the oldest marine in the chapter and the only true Blood Angel left. As memories of battles flashed through his mind Brother Philosir completed the blessing.

Franks first step brought Captain Ruusa back from his reverie. He stepped out of the dreadnoughts path and watched him march towards one of the elevators. Brother Philosir walked up and stopped next to the captain.

“You know captain, “he paused “I have seen star ships obliterate planets, fellow marines cut down thousands of aliens in seconds. I have even seen xenos technology do unexplainable things. None of these compare to watching Brother Frakatuzuli at war.” Captain Ruusa nodded in agreement and responded “I am not sure if it’s his sheer power or the fact that he fought next to our blessed Primarch Sanguinus, but I agree.”

As the two Ice Angels stood in awe Brother Frakatuzuli reached the elevator and stepped in. The doors instantly closed behind him. The elevator moved downwards and then side ways to reach one of the securest parts of the ship. Deep inside the Frozen Rage was a specially designed vault, in it lay one of the Ice Angel’s oldest treasures. As the elevator doors opened Frank turned on his magnetic stabilizers in his legs. This hidden vault had no atmosphere and was home to the Anchor.

The huge dreadnought took several steps down the well worn path towards the center platform. Lights along the wall began to spin as the floor began to shift and open up. Two rings with servo arms came up around Frank as he stopped on the platform. To his left a door on the floor opened and out came a huge claw like apparatus. In the claw itself was the Mark 0 Magna Grappler, known as the Anchor, the last of its kind.

The claw arm along with the servo arms moved and jostled into position while Frank stood motionless. In front of the massive dreadnought a single light flashed from red to green. The arms instantly went to work attaching the Anchor. Several onboard cameras pivoted to monitor the progress. Frank began to think back to the days when he first used the Anchor. After the Heresy the Blood Angels were split into smaller chapters. He became a member of the Angels Encarmine and after only a hundred years they had a small unit of specialists break off to form the current chapter, the Ice Angels. In one of their earliest wars they came across a sacred STC device. This device created the Mark 1 Magna Grapplers that most chapters now use, at least that’s what they told Mars.

The sacred STC actually created gigantic Magna Grapplers with twice the range and power of the standard issues ones used today. The downside was that they could only be welded by much larger dreadnoughts and even then it was difficult to function unless in a vacuum. The STC created 1 grappler every 7 days, but after 6 months of activity it suddenly died to never again awake. The Ice Angels created the current design and shared it with Mars and other chapters, but they have never been able to recreate the Mark 0 Magna Grapplers.

As the rings began to descend into the floor and the claw arm moved away, Frank ran a diagnostic on the Grappler before opening and closing the huge 5 pronged device. He powered up the built in multi-melta system before checking the chain recoil system.

Satisfied that everything was in working order he returned to the elevator and began his final journey to the dreadnought drop pod bay. It was time to visit an Ork Rokk.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/28 10:22:01


Post by: Gitsplitta


Nice Iceangel. Very much enjoyed the detail on the dreadnought... easy read too.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/29 08:00:04


Post by: Finch Claw


I agree with Git, nice and interesting read. Can i see this grappler?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/29 12:26:33


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:I agree with Git, nice and interesting read. Can i see this grappler?


Unfortunately the Frank model that I have is him in his normal surface Furioso Suit. I havn't yet made a larger version of him with the Mark 0 Grappler. It is on my to do list though.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/29 23:44:22


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Very nice, I too look forward to seeing what the "Anchor" looks like


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/30 04:45:36


Post by: whalemusic360


You need to either set his name to Frank or Franks, and give a explantion to the name. I get its shortend, but the n comes out of no where. Maybe saying he got the name by being so frank in his speach (to the point) is where it came from whould do.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/30 07:56:01


Post by: Finch Claw


You better have a short list.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/07/30 12:24:38


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:You need to either set his name to Frank or Franks, and give a explantion to the name. I get its shortend, but the n comes out of no where. Maybe saying he got the name by being so frank in his speach (to the point) is where it came from whould do.


I agree, I'll let you know when I've gone back and edited it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/09 07:27:01


Post by: Loricatus Aurora


I liked it, good story with loads of character. Like the Dread who is across the mission before the brief is finished, works for one so old. Im also keen to see the sacred grapple!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/13 02:41:30


Post by: IceAngel


OMG! I was checking out the forgeworld rules for the new space marine flier. Which can be found here. http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/Downloads/Product/PDF/c/caestus.pdf

I discovered the rules for the magna-melta which is exactly what I think my ancient dreadnought would wield in his Mark 0 grappler. Check it out!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/13 02:47:37


Post by: whalemusic360


That think is bitchin, Im sooooo gettin one.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/29 04:56:49


Post by: IceAngel


Assault on Rokk Mekaroid

“Frank, incoming craft on your 4.” A voice on the vox calmly spoke.

Without moving his legs the huge matte black dreadnoughts torso turned 120 degrees. The targeting array between his shoulders confirmed the target and fired off two streaking missiles from his shoulder launchers. The Ork vessel began to return fire just as the missiles slammed into its nose. The explosion tore it in two and the parts flew right over the Ice Angel position. As the ork bits flew through space the dreadnought turned back around and continued its march across the surface of the Ork Rokk known as the Mekaroid.

The Orks had put up a tough defense, unlike all the other rokks in the system, this one was full of angry orks who fled the planet after being defeated by the combined Imperium forces. Currently the Ice Angels were attempting to infiltrate the rokk and disable as many weapon systems as they can so more forces could easily assault the rokk.

After deploying 48 marines onto the surface, the assault force quickly moved towards a large complex that ringed a cargo bay. Squad Uttuakki, Squad Shwando, and Captain Razzik had already split off and infiltrated the Rokk through an access pathway, while the remaining marines moved up on the surface. The orks were slowly mounting a defense; the space around the assault force was already full of floating debris and bodies.

Above the Ice Angel position a battle raged between the Ice Angel ship the Frozen Rage, seven imperial ships, and a large host of Ork ships fleeing the surface of the planet below.

“Squad Rimsin, move up and take the tower.” Captain Ruusa said into the vox. The only response was a short green blip on his HUD, before a five man combat unit came out of cover together and began to lay down covering fire with their bolters. The remaining five man squad ran towards the complex at the base of the tower under the covering fire. Captain Ruusa watched for a moment before turning his attention back to Brother Philosir and Brother Frakatazuli the dreadnought, who is better known as Frank. The name was actually given to him by a Salamander named Vulkan He’stan. Brother Frakatazuli owes his life to He’stan, but has repaid the salamanders dozens of times over.

Brother Frakatazuli was three times the height of all of the other marines on the rokk, his bulk covered in reinforced armor plating, sensor arrays, and weapons. His left arm was a huge chained projectile called the Anchor, his right arm a powerful rotating fist. Ahead of the dreadnought a hundred yards away a ramshackle building with two sets of sliding doors shook as the two doors opened within seconds of each other. Out came a handful of orks carrying various shaped rocket launchers. They spread out and took aim at the bulky dreadnought. Frank squatted down as best he could before firing the anchor at a huge piece of wing that floated through space above him. As the anchor grabbed hold and began to reel in, the orks fired their missiles. Many exploded on the wing while others misfired or missed the dreadnought all together. Using the wing as a shield Brother Frakatazuli simply continued his slow walk towards them, waiting for them to get in range of his short range meltas.

After the missiles had been fired, squad Kurigulzu, the other tactical unit, along with Captain Ruusa and Techmarine Philosir moved up around the dreadnought and fired on the new orks. The orks were torn apart but not before they launched another volley of rockets. One rocket landed at the feet of a tactical trooper named Mi-luqua Vaz, but he jumped as the rocket hit, the explosion then sent him spinning into the vacuum. After spiraling for a few seconds Vaz used one of his single burst propulsion cans. Which sent him quickly back to the rokks surface, but not before he took a view of the surroundings.

Ahead of the Ice Angels were three huge cargo bays, all large enough to contain space to ground vessels. The tower that Squad Rimsin was assaulting was over looking two of the bays which were closed. The third bay had its doors open and from Vaz’s vantage point he could see what was moving up on some of the platforms. Half a mile past the bays was the beginning of the ship to ship battery that the Ice Angels were sent to disable.

“Captain, the furthest cargo bay has opened and it appears a large mob is moving onto the surface.“ Vaz said as he made his descent.

“Angels, find cover! Prepare to take heavy fire.” Ruusa said into the vox while rushing towards some ferrocrete barriers running perpendicular to the edge of the nearest closed cargo bay door. Eleven other marines quickly moved up to take cover as well. The hulking dreadnought stepped behind several of his battle brothers who were behind the lowest section of the wall and used the wing debris to protect his brethren, only the top of his shoulders peaked over the wing.

Peering back they way they came, the captain spoke. “Squad Labushi, move into position above target, Blizzard pattern.” As Captain Ruusa finished that statement ten small bursts of light could be seen behind their position by the birds they flew in on. After a few seconds more bursts of light could be seen but this time it was further out into space in amongst the floating debris.

As the first platform reached the lip of the cargo bay several dozen orks in scrap space suits rushed onto the Rokk’s surface towards the Ice Angels. The next three platforms reached the lip in rapid succession. Close to 70 orks and a handful of killakans were now moving across the rocky wasteland that was strewn with the occasional pipe or ramshackle building.

Captain Ruusa didn’t give any command or even shout a word of encouragement, the Ice Angels knew what Blizzard pattern meant and more importantly the tactical squad along with the dreadnought knew their role. As soon as the orks were in range, Frank opened fire with his shoulder mounted missiles at the Killa-kans. Brother Rattmu began to spit out heavy bolter fire and soon all of the marines were firing at the approaching orks.

The Ork return fire was not nearly as precise but it didn’t matter when the orks began to open up. The sheer number of bullets drove many of the Ice Angels to take cover. Captain Ruusa knelt down behind cover and looked up into space. The floating Ice Angels were hard to spot in their black power armor, only the occasional blue trim could be seen. As he located the unit he saw the ten man assault squad silently float 60 yards or so over the approaching orks. Squad Labushi began to throw all of their grenades down into the mob. When the first explosions began to tear into the orks the assault marines fired their jump packs and flew down into the survivors. Watching the descent of Ice Angels into combat spurred the remaining marines to break cover and join the mayhem.

Brother Frakatazuli used the wing as a bat and swatted a handful of orks out of his way before engaging a unit of killa kans. Drills and buzz saws were spinning, and the kans formed a semi circle to try and flank the huge dreadnought. Before he got into striking range Frank threw the wing at the center kan and shot the Anchor towards his left most target. The Anchor grasped the bulky body of the kan and before the kan could try and tear through the chain with its saw, the built in multi-melta shot right through the kan. The center kan was knocked back by the wing but the left kan moved in thinking he had an opening, he moved up to assault the currently one armed dreadnought. The closest kan fired a mess of debris from some sort of scrap cannon which bounced off the dreadnoughts chest before attempting to stab at Frank with a huge drill bit. Back handing the drill with his remaining fist, Frank followed through with a punch that caved the kan in on itself. As Brother Frakatazuli reeled in the Anchor, the middle kan rushed in with two pincers. The left pincer was deflected by Franks spinning close combat fist, but the right managed to grab the bottom corner of his chest plate and began to cut through his thick plating. The kan attacked again with the left but this time Frank grabbed the pincer by the wrist and stopped it. Firing his under arm meltagun the pincer was blasted off its arm. By this time the Anchor was reattached, pointing both fist and Anchor down at the kan two melta shots cut through the kan as if it were paper.

Brother Frakatazuli surveyed the battle in the matter of seconds before firing several missiles at some straggling kans. The orks had been defeated and only a handful of Ice Angels had been hurt or killed. Techpriest Philosir bounded over to Frank to examine the damage.

As the red armored priest got within arms length he reached out with both arms and several servo arms to examine and field dress the armor.

“Hmm,” he said “minimal damage, but I’m surprised that an ork would even be able to scratch you. Are you getting sloppy?” he joked.

“HA! You wake me up and within hours expect me to perform at peak proficiency?!” he shouted into the vox, his Bhaalian accent thick. “What am I a machine?”

Several Brothers chuckled and a few more quick comments we’re thrown at the ancient dreadnought. As the final ork died or was thrown into space, the Captain looked over the open cargo bay towards the huge weapons battery. Seventeen long barrels stretched into the sky belching shells the size of rhinos at the Imperial Fleet.

Captain Ruusa pointed his double bladed power axe towards the cargo bay. “Labushi, move ahead and secure far side of cargo bay. Kurigulzu Alpha, return to birds with the wounded and the dead. Let’s get to this battery and silence those guns. “

Affirmative blinks lit up his HUD as he began to hustle towards their target.




Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/29 12:30:31


Post by: Gitsplitta


Nice piece of work ice. Solid, interesting fiction. Makes the Ice Angel you're making for me all that more "real" by giving me a real feel for your chapter. Cool.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/29 16:52:49


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:Nice piece of work ice. Solid, interesting fiction. Makes the Ice Angel you're making for me all that more "real" by giving me a real feel for your chapter. Cool.


Thanks Git!

Lately I've been working on my story that will include all of the marines from the swap, but I felt like I had to elaborate a little more on my own chapter before trying to explain or describe other peoples. I'll probably have another 4 or 5 shorts before I get to my big story that I've planned with my marine swaps. Hopefully by then I'll have yours so I can include him in the story!

btw, your guy is about half way done.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/30 00:34:54


Post by: IceAngel


“WER are da HUMIES!!!!” the ork shouted while shaking his power klaw in the air.
“And WER’S ANKLEKRUSHA!”

Turning towards the nearest boy, the Nob let out another roar and head butted the ork. The smaller ork collapsed on the floor with a thud and then scurried away leaving his shoota on the metal floor.

A dozen grots, 10 boyz, and a handful of Nobs were all in a chamber with several open hatchways. The room smelled of sweat and filth, and the orks were all looking to the biggest Nob for some direction. Looking from one tunnel to the next the Nob again mumbled in frustration.

A scampering could be heard coming from the southern most door way. All the orks readied their weapons. The largest Nob pushed his way through the mob to get closer to the doorway.

A wimpering grot came running in to the room at top speed. The big ork Nob scooped up the grot with his klaw. With a yelp the grot tried to wiggle free. The orks in the room loosened up and watched the Nob pull the grot up to his face.

“Do you know whers da humies are little one?” he said quietly.” The grot stopped squirming and folded his ears back. He looked around scared and then nodded his head.

“Do you know wer Anklekrusha and his boyz arrr?” The Nob asked to the grot. The grot once again nodded his head, and this time he pointed back the way he came.

While keeping the grot in his klaw the nob snorted and looked at his mob. “Anklekrusha is gonna tak arrr fun! Come on boyz, LETS KILL DA HUMIES!!” the Nob shouted. The mob shouted back and whooped. The big nob raised the grot up like a torch, pulled out his double barreled shoota, and began to run through the door the way the grot came.

After a minute of running through hallways and up two flights of stairs the nob rounded a corner and entered a dimly lit room with a huge red ork emblem nailed to the floor. The grot was quaking with fear and he pointed to a massive open side door. The Nob began to grin with excitement. Dropping the grot from his klaw he looked down at the smaller boyz and pointed towards the door with his klaw. His excitement spread through the mob like a wild fire and when the last grot entered the room the Nob bellowed. “WAAAAAGH!”

The walls reverberated with the sound of the mobs combined voices. The mob rushed through the door and into a room that was completely dark except what light spilled in from behind them. A doorway at the other end of the room was also emitting a soft glow. The boyz ran towards it and made it most of the way before they began to slip on the wet floor. As they slowed down one of the Nobs turned on a light that was built into his gun. When he did, the boyz stopped. The light was beaming down at a pile of ork bodies that were lying up against the wall.

As quickly as the excitement had spread through the mob, the panic set in. Right as the mob began to turn and flee a lone Ice Angel walked into the dimly lit door and began laughing loud enough for all of the orks to turn back around. The big Nob, now full of anger began to move towards the laughing marine. The light from the other Nob was quickly pointed at the marine, spot lighting his black armor and white helmet.

The marine stopped laughing and pointed his combiflamer at the mob. “Don’t move or I will kill you all.” He stated.

The Nob stopped and quizzically looked at the smaller marine. “You tink you can kills me? I’M NUD REDBLUD and YOUS gonna be da dead one!” the panic in the orks began to wean as they saw the bigger ork standing his ground. Several of the other nobs were nodding their heads in agreement.

The black armored marine tilted his white helmet and lowered his weapon. “You know Nud, you may be right. I may some how die, maybe today, maybe tomorrow. Death, is an inevitability. The real important question, at least for me, is how will I die? Fire, blade, bullet, unknown disease, sucked into the void of space, tank shocked by a sister of battle exorcist! I really have no idea. ” The marine looked at the mob and realized he had lost most of them with some of those complex thoughts.

“Nud, I’d like to see your large weapons battery before I go. Do you know how to get there from here?”

After a few seconds of silence, instead of a response the large ork shouted and began to move forwards. Before his first step had touched the floor an unseen gun fired and the large nobs head evaporated.

Before the orks could flee, the space marine shouted “Whoever takes me there now, I promise I will not harm!” The orks looked at each other and before any could make a move a small grot with a slice across his chest ran out of the mob and raised his hand. Looking down at the foot tall scantily clad grot the marine paused and then asked. “Are you sure you know the way?” The grot nodded. “Excellent!”

Before any other ork could voice an opinion five weapons opened up on the mob. Within seconds the entire mob was nothing but a pile of bodies and gore.

The grot looked as if he was about to bolt when the Ice Angel knelt down in front of him. “You still remember the way?” he asked.

The grot, with fear in his eyes, once again nodded. The Ice Angel gently picked up the grot in his black gauntlet. “Which way?” he nicely asked. The grot pointed back the way he came. “Fair enough” the marine said as he began to cross the body filled room.

As he exited the room his four other brethren exited out of the darkness. Their heavy weapons still smoking from recent fire. All five of the marines had white helmets and yellow eyes. The only distinction between them was their weapons and an orange ribbon that was attached to the lead marines shoulder pad.

“I thought you were joking when you said we should ask for directions?” the devastator with the multi-melta said.

“You better hope the Inquisition doesn’t find out that we’re using xenos help again Bel Hando.” Another devatators with a heavy bolter said.

“Brothers, as far as we know this is our best option. If Muttabriqu or Razzik get more info we’ll go with that, they should be back at any moment. Besides, it never hurts to have a little local help. “Bel Hando said while moving towards the next door that the grot was pointing to.

An Ice Angel with another heavy bolter turned, “Don’t you rem….”

“Yes, Baris I remember.” Bel Hando interrupted “You don’t need to remind me.”

At the sound of distant shots the unit spread and moved to provide cross fire at the arch way. Bel Hando moved up towards the door and kept his combi-flamer pointing at the entrance.

In the vox the gruff voice of Razzik chimed in. “Squad Shwando move up. We’ve found the path”

“Affirmative. Shwando en route.” Bel Hando responded in the vox. He then looked down at the grot. The grot looked once again fearful for its life. “I know, I promised.” He then set him down and the grot looked confused. Bel Hando turned and began to walk towards the continued gun fire with haste. The grot stood confused as the marines hustled down the hall after their sergeant. The last marine, Gilgam, walked past and in one fluid motion pulled out his bolt pistol. “I didn’t though” was all he said as he blew the grot into pieces.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/30 01:55:15


Post by: Gitsplitta


Poor grot! :-(


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/30 01:56:01


Post by: Asherian Command


O.o.
Nice lore. i need a professional opinion on my lore.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/30 02:17:39


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian Command wrote:O.o.
Nice lore. i need a professional opinion on my lore.


I hope you aren't refering to me as a professional opinion. I think my writing is slowly getting better, but still far from professional.

btw Whalemusic, if you recall I hadn't explained how Frakatazuli got his nick-name. I added it in one of my most recent stories and I also went back and added it in the previous one where I introduced him. It made more sense that way.

Yes, Grots were harmed in the writing of this story. Gitsplitta, I hope the slaying of grots doesn't deter you from reading more, lol. Unfortunately that little guy won't be the last.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/30 02:21:43


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:
Asherian Command wrote:O.o.
Nice lore. i need a professional opinion on my lore.


I hope you aren't refering to me as a professional opinion. I think my writing is slowly getting better, but still far from professional.

btw Whalemusic, if you recall I hadn't explained how Frakatazuli got his nick-name. I added it in one of my most recent stories and I also went back and added it in the previous one where I introduced him. It made more sense that way.

Yes, Grots were harmed in the writing of this story. Gitsplitta, I hope the slaying of grots doesn't deter you from reading more, lol. Unfortunately that little guy won't be the last.

Anything is better than my writing.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/30 23:04:35


Post by: whalemusic360


I like em, and that your pumpin out again makes em even better!

Your nob leader changes names tho from nud to nub


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/31 05:30:09


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:I like em, and that your pumpin out again makes em even better!

Your nob leader changes names tho from nud to nub


He does? I will have to go back and remedy that. Thanks for the heads up!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/08/31 09:22:39


Post by: xxBlazinGhostxx


Loving it.

Poor Grot. Though he is a grot.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/01 03:18:31


Post by: IceAngel


xxBlazinGhostxx wrote:Loving it.

Poor Grot. Though he is a grot.


thanks Blazin. I am a little shocked at the amount of grot sympathy out there though.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/01 03:26:34


Post by: xxBlazinGhostxx


Lol.

I think that it's because most people would probably act like grots if 40k was real.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/03 21:22:53


Post by: IceAngel


Captain Razzik was running at full speed down the windy corridor, his powerfist already caked in burnt gore. Behind him was the ten man assault unit, the Uttuakki. Their unit was known for their orange weapons and colorful helmet paint, but more importantly for their infiltration and ferocity in close combat. After the Uttuakki came one of the chapters’ newest units, the Shwando, a five man devastator squad with standard white helmets and a sergeant known for theatrics.

The sixteen man force was working its way through the Rokk Mekaroid to find a way to disable the huge gun battery that was the major defense on this side of the rokk. Once disabled more Ice Angels and a large force of Space Wolves would come aboard and cleanse the rokk.

Despite the huge fans pushing air through this area of the rokk, the heat from the generators under the battery was making the Ice Angel suits work over time to keep them cool. After slaying a handful of roaming bands of orks and some stragglers this area of rokk has become eerily quite. On several occasions one or more brothers had jumped at shadows, which had slowly put the force on edge. This rokk was supposed to be over loaded with greenskins.

“Where in the Emperors name did the orks run off too?” Bel Uri of the Uttuakki said into the vox in his typical loud fashion. For the past few minutes the force had been quickly running through the rokk towards the heat signature and the constant thumping of the weapons battery.

“I am still not showing any life signs in the immediate vicinity Captain. However, up ahead there must be some sort of bulkhead or slab. It is disrupting my auspex.” Umru chimed in; his emotionless tone quite the opposite of Bel Uri’s.

The path turned a few corners and dropped a floor before opening up into a large hallway that could easily be three rhinos wide. Captain Razzik walked into the middle of the corridor as both of his units took up positions covering every angle with their weapons. To his right the corridor went for at least seventy yards before splitting. At least a dozen other pathways dotted the corridor walls. To his left a bulkhead was closed that prevented the force from moving towards the battery.

Muttabriqu, the sergeant of squad Uttuakki pointed to a panel tucked in a corner. “Umru see what you can do.” He stated. Captain Razzik took a quick side glance at Muttabriqu before accompanying Umru. It had been a long time since they had been in the same strike force and to this day Muttabriqu holds a grudge against the Captain. Both men have long lists of achievements but Muttabriqu was loved by nearly everyone in the chapter so it was quite a shock when Master Librarian Duggon chose Razzik to fill the newest Captain position. For now, Razzik was comfortable letting Muttabriqu lead his unit and Razzik had spent most of his time keeping a close eye on the Shwando.

Umru plugged in his auspex and after only a few seconds he had what he needed. “I’ve got it. Just give the word and the door will drop.”
“Bel Uri, form up to move in.” Muttabriqu said.
“Shwando split and provide covering fire.” Razzik said immediately afterwards.
“Tirid, Idiptu, Bennu, and Umru cover the rear.” Muttabriqu said while facing Razzik.
Both great men respected each others abilities and few in the chapter would deny their skills, but for an awkward moment they stood looking at each other. No one needed to see their faces to know what was being passed silently between them.

Razzik smiled to himself and then moved up by Bel Uri who was by the door. “The Emperor protects, my brothers! Let us silence this battery and in the name of Sanguinius let us avenge those that have fallen.” A green blip flashed in everyone’s HUD and the door opened like a setting sun, sinking into the floor.

When the door was at waist height the marines had assessed the scene. The vast chamber was actually a series of chambers in a honey comb pattern on the ceiling that appeared to be from some unknown ship design. At least that’s how it was originally; once the orks took over they loaded it up with machines that kept a constant flow of shells to the gun batteries that were ten stories above them now. Heat pressed down from the engines running the guns and the room reeked of smoke. Conveyor belts crossed the room from wall to ceiling, the cat walks and platforms under the guns were a flurry of grot activity. Around the perimeter of the room were probably close to a fifty bulkheads of similar design to the one the force had entered from. The vast majority of the uneven floor space was clear except for a couple elevators that moved from floor to ceiling. The rest of the floor was covered in tire tracks and in several places broken crates and grot bodies that had fallen from above.

When the door finally leveled with the floor the Captain calmly took a few steps into the room. “Muttabriqu take your five to the closest right conveyor belt. Bel Uri, head left and do the same. Shwando with me, we’re going to the nearest elevator. No one fire until they notice us. Move out!” Razzik said.

The three units with all haste went to their positions, but before Muttabriqu’s unit could reach the closest one, the bulkhead behind them closed and doors all around the perimeter began to open. Ork bikers, trucks, and battle wagons of all shapes and sizes began to poor in.

“HOLY THRONE! It’s a trap. Get up those belts, NOW!” Muttabriqu shouted into the vox. Umru was already trying to reach Captain Ruusa when the first shells began to reach their positions.

The belt that Bel Uri and his brethren were approaching was sixteen feet off the ground and an easy climb, but climbing under fire was not advised. “Bennu, head up I’ll come around.” Bel Uri said as he ran past and under the belt. One particularly fast truck continued on an intercept with Bel Uri instead of the few marines making a brief two second climb.

The bright red truck was spitting rounds from a pintle mounted stubber as it squealed right past Bel Uri fish tailing and eventually flipping over. All nine orks were thrown from the truck before it rolled. With out slowing down Bel Uri moved in to engage, his powerfist and chainsword making short work of the greenskins.

Bennu was up the ladder, then Sidana, then Tirid when the first wave of orks hit their side of the chamber. Seeing Bel Uri under attack by the orks on the fast truck Miqit hesitated. He soon had his own issues as a battlewagon brimming with guns and protected by a metal spiked roller rushed straight at him. He took two steps and dove side long as the battlewagon at full speed slammed into the wall. The roller collapsed as the wagon buried itself into the wall. Orks flew off the wagon from the impact and many never moved again. Miqit was about to finish several of the survivors off when another two trucks rolled up, the boyz firing madly at him. Shots were damaging his armor and grazing his back pack when he leveled his meltagun and blew off a wheel from the closet truck sending it careening past the crushed battlewagon. As the other approached his battle brothers began to fire down from above providing covering fire. “Miqit climb the wagon NOW!” Taking only a brief glance at Bel Uri, he turned and climbed over the wagon and onto the belt with Bel Uri at his heels.

Not to far away Razzik was witnessing the newest Ice Angel unit at work. Seeing the vehicles began to pour into the room the devastators began to lay down fire to protect Muttabriqu and their own elevator. With no long range weapon, Razzik was the first to the elevator. The elevator had a waist high metal barricade around it, other then that it was a vertical cage with a self propelled platform that passed every 30 seconds. Brother Tock-tzu and Sergeant Bel Hando came up right behind him. Baris, Gilgam, and Ishtin were walking and firing at the approaching bikers. Once they got in range Tock-tzu began to open up, his multi-melta leaving wreckage wherever he pointed. With a final burst of speed the bikers rushed the six marines. Captain Razzik jumped up and slammed into one ork driver before the bike flipped and slammed into another. Bel Hando was not far behind shooting his combi-flamer at the orks, watching them turn into screaming infernos. One open topped battle wagon stopped not to far away and the orks on board instead of disembarking opened up with their shootas into the biker combat.

Under the insane amount of fire from the lootas nearly all of the bikers were killed and Brother Ishtin was taken down with a chest wound that was through and through. Brother Baris lost his sacred heavy bolter from the fire and took a serious arm wound before diving behind the wreckage of a bike. Knowing that they only had seconds to live, Captain Razzik raised his shield and ran straight towards the battlewagon. Shells bounced off his shield, tore off a part of his backpack, and tore through his left shoulder pad but they didn’t slow him down. With all of his strength he took two steps on a wrecked bike and launched himself onto the battlewagon. The orks attempted to get out of the enraged Captains way, but he was crushing and punching through the orks like wildfire.

With a lurch the battlewagon took off, the driver thinking he could escape the Captains wrath. The battlewagon got maybe ten feet before a bright orange battlewagon that looked more like a boat T-boned him. Orks flew through the air and the Captain was sent back towards devastators. With a loud crunch he hit the floor and slid into a burning wrecked trike.

Brother Baris rushed over and with his good arm he helped the Captain off the ground. The Captain was a bit shaken but they soon hurried over to the elevator where Bel Hando was standing.

“We have to get to high ground, there are to many of them.” The Captain said while reassessing the incoming orks. It seemed the first wave was only the fastest of the vehicles; many more were on the way.

As the next platform came up through the floor Bel Hando, Baris, and Gilgam got on the platform. Razzik stayed back with Tock-tzu who was still firing at the passing ork vehicles. The ring of carnage around them was now hampering the movement of the vehicles giving them some cover.

“DEATH TO DA HUMIES!!!!!” a shout through a loud speaker was heard through the chamber. Captain Razzik turned to see an ork stompa entering the chamber. Its gigantic artillery revolver was pointing at his position.

“TOCK, RUN!” the captain shouted while sprinting away from the elevator. Tock-tzu turned and began to move when an ork round knocked him over. Seeing the impact, Razzik turned around and ran straight at Tock who was trying to scramble away when the stompa fired. The shell hit the base of the vertical cage just as Razzik dove onto Tock and if it hadn’t been for Razziks shield they both would have been killed by the impact. The Shwando platform continued its climb into the gun battery but the flooring around the cage collapsed sending Razzik and Tock-tzu spiraling into a black hole in the floor.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/08 18:30:12


Post by: IceAngel


Muttabriqu heard the stompa fire its revolver artillery piece. The boom seemed to command silence in the chamber and for what seemed minutes, he watched the shell cross the room in slow motion and land at the base of the caged elevator. Captain Razzik dove on top of Tock-tzu with his shield raised as the shell exploded. The resulting explosion, for a brief moment was blinding, and when Muttabriqu looked back down below him at the carnage, there were no signs of his brothers. All that remained was torn metal and gaping hole in the floor into darkness.

Shells peppered the railing around him as he was brought back to reality. Muttabriqu, along with Umru, Rabishu, Sarabda, and Idiptu were on the metal caging and suspended platforms directly under the guns. The hexagon shaped platform they currently were on was some sort of reloading station for one of the gun batteries in the corner of the platform system. Umru and Sarabda were planting charges on a particularly large shell that was soon to be loaded by an automated machine. On all of the adjacent platforms scores of grots, boyz, and mekboyz were firing at them with crude weapons. Fortunately there were only two gantries connecting them and the nearest platforms. The bodies of orks were already making the gantries slick with blood. The only other way to cross the space was on the conveyor belt that wound around all of the platforms.

Idiptu was chanting a battle hymn to himself when the platform shook. Without stopping his hymn he dove from cover back towards the conveyor belt exit they had run up to peer over the edge. At the base of the belt, a battle wagon had slid into the wall before depositing a mob of boys that were now climbing the belt towards their position.

“Muttabriqu” he calmly stated “we have boys coming up the belt.”

While firing his plasma pistol at the orks attempting to cross one of the platforms he looked back at Umru and Sarabda. “How much time my brothers?”

Sarabda, the largest of the Uttuakki, finished the arming sequence before saying a short prayer to the Emperor. “It is armed and set for two minutes. It should detonate in the chamber and the explosion should take out this gun and possibly the neighboring ones.” He said as he pushed the shell, on its wheeled cart, towards the waiting loading crane. A timer appeared in their HUDs.

“What Sarabda failed to mention is that the explosion will also destroy this platform.” Umru added.

Umru ran over to Idiptu and took position by the conveyor belt exit. Sarabda waited by the crane to make sure it would load when he added. “These ork shells are all different I have no idea how large the explosion will be, precisely. “

“Prepare to move out towards Shwando’s position.” Muttabriqu said. He then added into the forces vox. “Shwando, can you provide covering fire. We’re moving towards your position to set another charge. “

“Negative. The cursed green skins and their contraptions are blocking our line of sight. “Bel Hando responded.

With a grunt Muttabriqu spoke. “Grenade wave in two.”

All five marines on the platform stopped firing and in two seconds threw fragmentation grenades at the nearest platforms. The orks took cover and those who didn’t were hit by shrapnel. Before the orks had come out of cover the five marines were running across the gore covered gantry. The fifty foot gap was crossed in seconds. Muttabriqu, leading the charge, jumped over the crate wall into the orks. As he began his killing the other marines arrived. The orks were slaughtered and many grots actually fled off the platform to their deaths.

As Rabishu threw the last ork off the platform, Muttabriqu looked back. The boyz were up the conveyor belt and unlike these grotz and loaders, they were armed and huge. Muttabriqu then looked towards the other platforms and picked his next few moves. The devastators unit, Shwando, was near the center of the hanging platforms, while the other five man unit of Uttuakki was some where on the other side.

His HUD timer now said 37 seconds. “Brothers we must move.” He said as he took off down another gantry. The unit crossed the next gantry and crossed another platform when the timer hit zero. The explosion shook the platforms and forced many marines and orks to hold on. The loading mechanism that held the rigged shell blew out and collapsed onto the platform which immediately began to bend and tear itself from the ceiling. Orks, metal, and part of the conveyor belt system fell to the floor. Several of the huge unloaded ordinances hit the floor ten stories below and exploded wiping out hundreds of orks and once again shaking the platforms from the wave. Nearly half of the huge chamber below was now a ruined mess.

After the shaking stopped Muttabriqu once again moved away from the torn platform. As they began to cross the next gantry a loud boom once again filled the chamber. A huge shell whistled past the unit into the ceiling before exploding. Rabishu and Idiptu were thrown to the gantry floor and hung on as the platform behind them began to sway and bend.

“I guess the stompa decided to risk hitting the ordinance.” Umru stated.

“go to….” Muttabriqu began when Miqit interrupted in the vox.
“Sarabda, how long did you set your charge?” he asked.
“two minutes, but you may want to go longer.” He responded.
“three it is. Our charge is set, we’re moving out.” Miqit replied.

“Shwando, move ahead two platforms. We’ll rendezvous. Sarabda and Umru stop at next platform and prime another. “

Affirmative blips filled Muttabriqus HUD when some broken chatter and static filled the long range vox channel. It sounded like Ruusa was trying to reach them. At the next platform Umru and Sarabda stopped at a waiting shell and began to prime another charge. By now the entire weapons battery had stopped firing. Most of the grots had fled in panic, but the remaining orks down below were filing up the conveyor belts and elevators towards platforms ahead of them. Muttabriqu, Rabishu, and Idiptu were waiting by one particular elevator when four orks in bulky armor got out. The marines opened up as the ork heads came into view, but the bulky armored orks were much more resilient then the others. They stomped onto the platform with kustom shootas blasting and power klaws snapping. They bellowed rage and hate as they moved in. The marine fire managed to head shot two of the orks before the melee began. Rabishu side stepped a downward klaw attack as Idiptu moved to flank, their orange chainswords thirsting for ork blood. Idiptu noticed the orks flank was well protected so he slashed at the orks exposed wiring. With a roar the ork turned to aim his shoota at him point blank, but that was all the opening Rabishu needed to put his chainsword into the orks face. The chainsword sprayed ichor and brains into the air before he pulled it free. Idiptu was already spitting fire at the other orks back side. Muttabriqu parried a klaw with his powerfist. The two weapons repelled one another with a burst of sparks. The ork cut loose with its triple linked shoota. The rounds chewed through the floor as the black armored marine dove to the side. The ork moved up and tried to stomp the downed sergeant when Idiptu jumped onto his back. With a quick klaw grab the ork nabbed Idiptu and was about to cut him in half when Muttabriqu’s plasma pistol fired up into the under side of the ork. The orks innards were melting when Idiptu, now upside down in the orks klaw, fired into the orks face. With a crash the ork fell over.

Idiptu got up, huge dents and visible klaw marks had opened up his armor. His blood had already closed the wounds. Muttabriqu moved into a crouched position behind the ork body when the empty elevator began to move further up. The next elevator was almost to the platform when a cacophony of fire went off nearby. The newest elevator reached the lip. The three Ice Angels looked at the shredded ork corpses. Peering over to one side, they could see the Shwando moving towards them. Bel Hando, Baris, and Gilgam approached when another explosion rocked the chamber. Miqit’s shell had exploded destroying another gun in the battery. This time there wasn’t any secondary damage to the huge chamber.

However, the red headed stompa lined up and sent another shell upwards. This time it went right through their platform and into the loading mechanism above them. The resulting explosion must have blasted into another chamber, only flames shot back out at the Ice Angels.

Even under the stompa fire the orks were beginning to invade the platforms. Brother Gilgam was laying down a steaming stream of heavy bolter fire at the largest targets. Bel Uri and his combat unit moved to support their flank just as Sarabda and Umru rejoined Muttabriqu. The orks were surrounding them, their superior numbers finally putting the marines on the defense.

A third and final explosion rocked the chamber as Sarabda’s last charge took out more of the gun battery. As Bel Hando looked down below him at the stompa he noticed an odd sight. Behind the stompa was a huge battle wagon, but instead of orks on it. He saw a matte black dreadnought standing on the open top. The weighed down wagon was rumbling towards the stompa crushing orks as it went. The other Ice Angels had arrived down below and were flanking the stompa and ground forces. As the stompa began to slowly turn around the battle wagon rumbled on. As the stompa squared up to the wagon Brother Frakatazuli fired his anchor directly at the stompas face. The Anchors huge five fingers dug into the stompas chin, the magnets worked over time as the chain system in Frakatazulis arm began to churn. The battlewagon stopped just shy of the stompa, several Ice Angels got out of the wagon and began to cut a bloody path, while the black dreadnought pulled itself up the front of the stompa. The stompa swayed as it tried to knock the dreadnought off, but the Anchor held on. The stompa tried to use its huge buzz saw next to cut off the dreadnought, but Frank fired a round of missiles and a meltagun blast that prevented the saw from ever spinning again. Soon Brother Frakatazuli was in the stompas face. Meltas went off and metal was shredded as the dreadnought tore into the red headed stompa.

As the orks on the platforms moved in and began to overwhelm the Ice Angel position a powerful roar echoed through the chamber. Brother Frakatazuli was standing on the ruined head of the stompa his close combat weapon and huge Magna-grappler spinning in the air. He roared again this time louder. The sound was a terrible multi-toned wave of hatred that even made the bones in the Astartes quiver.

Orks through out the chamber stopped what they were doing. Even the largest of nobs and meganobz turned and began to flee. Ork vehicles sped away through open bulk heads and grots simply cowered in fear. The Ice Angels murdered them without mercy. Frakatazuli launched out all of his remaining missiles but one at the fleeing vehicles.

After the last missile hit its target he began to climb his way down the now motionless stompa. The tech priest was waiting at the bottom his power axe covered in ork brains. .

“I have battled next to you for hundreds of years and I have never heard that before. What was that sound Brother?” Philosir said to the black dreadnought.

Frakatazuli leaned down at the red armored marine, taking pause before explaining. “That sound was from a beast on a now destroyed planet that we came across when our chapter was still part of the Angels Encarmine. It is one of the few mindless beasts that could make even the Emperors finest hesitate.” The dreadnought looked up as if deep in thought and lost in memory. “The creatures on that planet were so tainted with evil that it was deemed necessary to destroy. I have stored that sound for centuries and even its use makes me feel ill.” With a few whirls of his close combat fist he took a step towards the door they entered.

“I must get back outside; the weight of the Anchor is beginning to strain my systems. Will you drive Brother Philosir?” the dreadnought said as he approached the battle wagon.

With a nod that the dreadnought couldn’t even see, Philosir hefted his cog shaped power axe and moved towards the wagon.

“Captain I must accompany Frank back onto the surface.” The tech priest stated.

Captain Ruusa, who was fifty yards away, murdering fallen orks, turned towards the wagon. “Kadakrazz take your Kurigulzu and go with them. Clear another landing zone by the birds for reinforcements. Philosir, signal the fleet when you can. “

As the remnants of the tactical squad joined Frank on the battlewagon, Ruusa looked up to the Ice Angel force clearing the platforms. “Muttabriqu, where is Razzik?”

Muttabriqu paused after shooting down another fleeing ork. “He is MIA. The stompa took out the cage he was near. He hasn’t responded but he may have fallen into that hole in the floor. “

Captain Ruusa scanned the gigantic chamber before he spotted the hole. As he began to head that direction he spoke into the vox. “Muttabriqu take Shwando to the surface. Bel Uri what is your status?”

“Bennu’s new leg is acting up, and Tirid took several bullet wounds, everyone else is combat ready.” Bel Uri responded.

“Excellent. Tirid and Bennu go with Muttabriqu. Bel Uri, Miqit, and Sidana are with me. We have to see what happened to Razzik. “

A green blip showed up in Ruusa’s HUD, when another voice spoke in the vox. “Captain, Brother Tock-tzu fell with Captain Razzik as well. I request to come along and recover my fallen Brother.” Bel Hando said with grief in his voice.

“Granted. Bel Hando you can come along as well, but the rest of your unit will go with Muttabriqu. “ Ruusa replied.

Another green blip showed in his HUD as Captain Ruusa came up to the dark torn pit in the floor. The darkness was impenetrable but the Captain lowered his storm shield and held his double headed power axe at his side. He knew Razzik was alive, he couldn’t explain how. He knew his brother was down there.

He knew he needed his help.




Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/08 21:06:16


Post by: whalemusic360


Good read. I think when your done, you should get it put together as one unabridged version.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/08 21:49:28


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:Good read. I think when your done, you should get it put together as one unabridged version.


I think once its all done, I'll post it as an article here on dakka. Yep, good idea Whalemusic. Then again, thats assuming I ever finish this monster of a tale! lol


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/08 21:54:50


Post by: whalemusic360


Valid point. I'm looking forward to seeing the GMS boys work their way in there.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/08 22:03:16


Post by: Gitsplitta


Very nice Ice... thanks for another great section of the story. I agree with WM, needs to be a complete piece when finished.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/10 03:48:36


Post by: IceAngel


Thanks guys, I'm glad you like it. I think reading peoples comments, both good and bad, make me want to write more. Just for fun I started up a new document to see how large my story is and so far I've got 38 pages worth of Ice Angel stuff. I was rather impressed with myself. I think I've only got two more to go before the marine swap stuff gets involved. However, I do have some busy weekends coming up so we'll see how soon I can get around to the new fluff.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/10 19:09:18


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Tons more to read!

I'll treat myself to it this weekend sometime. At which time I'll let you know what I think.

Edit: ok maybe i couldn't wait till the weekend.

Overall i enjoyed it, however two things stood out to me

The first was this paragraph:

"After the missiles had been fired, squad Kurigulzu, the other tactical unit, along with Captain Ruusa and Techmarine Philosir moved up around the dreadnought and fired on the new orks. The orks were torn apart but not before they launched another volley of rockets. One rocket landed at the feet of a tactical trooper named Mi-luqua Vaz, but he jumped as the rocket hit, the explosion then sent him spinning into the vacuum. After spiraling for a few seconds Vaz used one of his single burst propulsion cans. Which sent him quickly back to the rokks surface, but not before he took a view of the surroundings."


I think you are implying that the rok has no gravity? Which is why the marine had to use a "propulsion can" to reach the rok again after being blown off of it.

If so how do all the other marines and dreadnaught manage to stay on the rok, assuming that the act of running is not enough to dislodge them from the rok wouldn't the recoil from their weapons knock them off.

It’s just a little confusing and emersion breaking for me.

The second is this paragraph:

"Muttabriqu, the sergeant of squad Uttuakki pointed to a panel tucked in a corner. “Umru see what you can do.” He stated. Captain Razzik took a quick side glance at Muttabriqu before accompanying Umru. It had been a long time since they had been in the same strike force and to this day Muttabriqu holds a grudge against the Captain. Both men have long lists of achievements but Muttabriqu was loved by nearly everyone in the chapter so it was quite a shock when Master Librarian Duggon chose Razzik to fill the newest Captain position. For now, Razzik was comfortable letting Muttabriqu lead his unit and Razzik had spent most of his time keeping a close eye on the Shwando."

The little soap box marks the spot where I felt the perspective changed.

The story is in third person, as such you are telling us what the characters think, say, do. Its like we are observing the events, after the soapbox its like you broke the fourth wall. Its if the narrator stopped describing the world of the story and turned directly to us the audience and addressed us.

At least that’s how it seems to me.

If I am making no sense right now I apologize

Overall though it was very good except for those two instances where I was thrown for a loop.





Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/11 03:40:35


Post by: IceAngel


ma55ter_fett, I appreciate the feedback. I see what your saying about in the second instance where I changed tenses. I will go back and fix that when I am at my other computer. As for the gravity concern, I figured that the rokk had some sort of gravity on the exterior, even though it may be a very little amount. I also figured that an explosion would send a marine further away from the rokk, not necessarily forever but at least up into space.

Now, I am not an expert in anything space related so it may be wrong, but that was my thought.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/11 03:43:23


Post by: whalemusic360


Every time I see a new post by IceAngel on my subscribed theads list, I get excited. Then I see you just commented and I get sad. Now back to work!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 18:40:26


Post by: IceAngel


The Hunt for Razzik

With a grunt Miqit landed next to his brothers. He looked up at the opening they had just scaled. Only fifty feet above was a torn hole in the ceiling where the stompa had blasted at the lost Captain. They had climbed down the wreckage of what appeared to be several floors of machinery and access tunnels. The entire system seemed to connect to the elevator that the shell had exploded next to. There were several paths leading to the elevator but at the base was a motionless conveyor belt that must have ceased to function once the elevator system crashed.

Miqit did a quick gear check before taking a closer look at his brothers. Captain Ruusa, with his double bladed power axe and storm shield, looked determined and anxious to find the fallen Captain Razzik. The Captain seemed to notice Miqit’s look and he nodded his pointed ice blue helm at him. Miqit returned the gesture before looking over to Bel Hando. Bel Hando is the sergeant to the Shwando, a newly formed devastator unit; his usual demeanor has been replaced by one of sorrow for loosing his first two battle brothers under his command. Ishtim took fire from a mob of lootas and Tock-tzu fell into the darkness with Razzik. Miqit, not looking to ever command a unit thought of his fallen brethren before looking over to the last two members of their party, Bel Uri and Sidana. Bel Uri with his orange powerfist and chainsword looked mean as ever. He was one of the smaller members of the Uttuakki but his speed and grace in combat was legendary in the chapter. Sidana was of similar size to Miqit but he had been a member of the Uttuakki for much longer, his orange weapons almost as bright as the painted lines on his helmet. He was reloading his bolt pistol when Captain Ruusa spoke.

Debris from the blast was littering the floor and several exposed wires were sparking. Down the tunnel was only darkness and the smell of oil and metal. “I don’t like the feel of this. Brother Razzik, unless severally wounded, should have been able to make that climb out of here.” Captain Ruusa said.

Bel Hando chimed in “I don’t see any sign of Tock-tzu either.”

“Something must have made them move else where, be vigilant and let the blood of Sanguinius guide you my brothers.” The Captain added before striding down the motionless conveyor belt. Bel Hando was right behind along with Sidana and Miqit. Bel Uri was uncharacteristically in the rear clenching is powerfist in anticipation.

* * * * *
The five brothers cautiously explored the conveyor belt and tunnel for any signs that would give them a clue as to what happened to Razzik and Tock-tzu. No words were exchanged or sounds made other then their own footfalls and the occasional moving of debris. After a few minutes the tunnel opened up and the marines could walk next to the conveyor belt instead of on it making it easier to pass the occasional shell waiting to once again head to the guns above.

The belt then rounded a corner and ended in a metal maw. The walkway around the belt turned both left and right, one path appeared to have stairs leading up while the other stayed level.

As the brothers approached Bel Hando spoke into the vox. “Captain, look at the base of the belt.”

Ruusa moved up to where the belt meet the closed metal door, while Sidana and Miqit moved into the hall way entrances to cover. Ruusa pulled out a crystaline shard that had embedded itself into the belt. The shard had some sort of toxin on it and with it blood.

“Either an ork is using a dark eldar weapon or this rokk contains more then just orks.” Ruusa stated. Bel Uri and Bel Hando exchanged looks before a wave of resolve hit the unit.

“I hope so, Dark Eldar always give me better stories then orks do.” Bel Uri said with a chuckle.

Sidana just shook his head before noticing down the hall to their left what appeared to be an Ice Angel multi-melta. He moved in to inspect while Bel Hando moved up to cover. It was damaged beyond repair and nearly cut in half. Around where the weapon laid was also more blood, but not just space marine blood.

“Dark Eldar indeed. “ Sidana said with a pinch of disgust in his voice.

The sound of crashing metal turned all five marines to peer down the hall, weapons drawn and ready. Out of the darkness came nothing but silence. After a few moments, Ruusa spoke.

“Uri take point.”

Bel Uri weaved through his brothers and was quickly moving down the hall as silently as he could. Sidana and Bel Hando a few paces back with Ruusa and Miqit in the rear.

The hall way took a few turns before opening up into what appeared to be a rock cavern. The only light penetrating the darkness was a hanging light fifty feet above them. It was hard to make out the size and shape of the cavern. Piles of rusted metal junk dominated most of their line of sight. It looked like a recent pile had fallen over.

Bel Uri moved up past the fallen pile to take up a position by an upright pipe. Sidana was moving past Bel Uri to take another position when something caught his eye. In the pile of fallen debris was a gloved black hand. When Sidana stopped, Miqit took the cue to move up. Hando immediately followed Sidanas line of sight and rushed into the pile of debris to clear out the buried marine. Bel Hando was pushing away debris and praying to the emperor the marine was alive when Miqit saw a dark form move ahead of their position. He leveled his meltagun when a scream pieced his concentration. The dark form ran right past him with amazing speed and he roared his response to the scream. Captain Razzik dove into Bel Hando knocking him aside as a scantily clad woman dropped from some where above. She landed stabbing at the ground where Bel Hando was, then began laughing as she quickly moved in on the prone brothers. Razzik contorted and blocked with his fist as the first blows began to ring in the chamber. She was so fast that no other marine dared to fire. Captain Ruusa quickly moved in to engage. He parried a blow with his axe that would have speared Razziks face when the assailant flipped away from the marines. As she landed she was met by a bolt round from Sidana and a round of melta from Miqit that reduced her lithe body to ash.

Bel Hando got up and ran over to check on Tock-tzu who was still partially concealed as Ruusa checked on Captain Razzik. Tock-tzu was unconscious and torn up by both bullets and blades, but alive. He was now deep in a coma that marines entered when severely wounded. Captain Razzik was showing several blade wounds and three shuriken rounds were embedded in his shin guards and forearm armor, but he seemed unfazed. His white powerfist wasn’t crackling with as much power and his only other weapon was a long combat knife at his hip.

Ruusa held out his hand to Razzik, which he took. They then turned to Bel Hando and Tock-tzu. Bel Hando looked down at his battle brother before springing into action as if a switch had been flipped in his body. Bel Hando started looking through the rubble for Tock’s bolt pistol. Tock-tzu would already be furious about his multi-melta being destroyed, but if Bel Hando forgot to grab his bolt pistol he would be going back on a promise that Bel Hando had made to his entire squad. Leave no brother or brother’s weapon behind.

Captain Razzik took a deep breath before looking at Captain Ruusa.
“Captain the dark eldar woman that attacked us was not alone. The other fled through the rock cavern. There is clearly more to this rokk then we anticipated.”

Ruusa nodded as the other brothers soaked in the new found knowledge. Sidana, Miqit, and Bel Uri immediately spread out around the fallen marine in order to protect their position. Ruusa was about to give an order when static filled their vox. It was the strike force channel. Tech priest Philsor chimed in with a sense of urgency.

“Captain! Squad Rimsin and Labushi have engaged dark eldar under the comm tower. I repeat, dark eldar have attacked our units. They’ve sustained heavy losses and the eldar have taken captives and are retreating. I am moving in with a combat squad from Kurigulzu then we will pursue. Brother Frakatazuli is heading with the others to the birds.”

As the words filled their vox, Miqit and Bel Uri took a look at each other at the mention of captives.

“Affirmative Brother Philsor, we will rendezvous with the bird’s then move into support as well. “ Captain Ruusa stated. Bel Hando began to pick up Tock-tzu when Razzik turned and peered into the darkness of the rock cavern.

“I believe we should pursue the dark eldar that fled through here. She may take us to our brethren. “He said with anger in his voice.

Bel Uri almost shouted in agreement as Miqit nodded his head. Captain Ruusa seeing his logic once again looked down at Tock-tzu. “Bel Hando you’ll have to carry him along. Sidana and Bel Uri cover the rear. Razzik take point. Let’s move. “

With a prayer on their lips and revenge in their thoughts they moved through the darkness looking for their prey.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 18:40:58


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:Every time I see a new post by IceAngel on my subscribed theads list, I get excited. Then I see you just commented and I get sad. Now back to work!


So how excited were you when you saw a new post was posted?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 18:52:03


Post by: Gitsplitta


Wooo-hooooo!

How's that?


OK Ice... I'm totally sucked in. Can't wait for the next update!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 19:29:08


Post by: whalemusic360


Actually I saw git was the last poster and was automatically disappointed

Are they Eldar or Dark Eldar? Cuz DE use poisoned "splinters". Think more like a Halo Needler.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 20:56:20


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:Actually I saw git was the last poster and was automatically disappointed

Are they Eldar or Dark Eldar? Cuz DE use poisoned "splinters". Think more like a Halo Needler.


HOLY COW! you're right. i need to fix that one. can somebody give me a good description of one of those rounds? I don't have any DE books.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 21:02:55


Post by: whalemusic360


Well the fluff is pretty week as far as DE go, but I'll dig thru my stuff and see what I can dig up for ya. But basically they are crystalline shards that cause necrosis, more or less.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 21:04:18


Post by: Gitsplitta


Yes, and the fact that she was so easily dispatched without causing a single casualty points clearly to dark eldar... at least until their new codex comes out... *grin*


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 21:08:58


Post by: IceAngel


well she took out one marine, but the captain beat her. I thought that was fair.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 21:12:04


Post by: whalemusic360


The Whych Secubus (spelling) isnt bad, you can hop em up on drugs.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/15 21:14:11


Post by: Gitsplitta


As I recall she got taken out by a melta gun *and* a bolt. That's 2 marines. Unless I misread or the IA's can fire multiple weapons at once?

However she gets big chutzpah points for taking on a captain on his entourage by herself... must have been some gooood combat drugs.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/16 04:17:28


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:As I recall she got taken out by a melta gun *and* a bolt. That's 2 marines. Unless I misread or the IA's can fire multiple weapons at once?

However she gets big chutzpah points for taking on a captain on his entourage by herself... must have been some gooood combat drugs.



She was taken out by Miqits meltagun and Sidanas bolt pistol. They both shot at her as she flipped away. I may need to clarify that in the story.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/23 17:55:40


Post by: IceAngel


Discovery - 7

Following the fleeing dark eldar’s path began as an easy task, but the winding rock tunnels and space hulk debris began to turn into a labyrinth. After loosing the trail and doubling back several times the small Ice Angel unit heard the echo of gun fire. Not Imperial fire, but the scream of Dark Eldar weapons. The sound was followed by a brief exchange with much louder weapons, the booms and dakkas reverberating off the walls. With in seconds the exchange was over.

As quietly as they could they crept towards the sound. The stone tunnel they were in melded into what appeared to be a piece of an imperial cruiser. The darkness added to the surreal scene as they crossed the rock onto what normally would be the ceiling of an imperial hallway. The older design reminding them of cruisers they had all been in before. Rounding the corner they overlooked a vile scene.

Bel Uri held up his fist for a halt. Every marine stopped and didn’t make a sound. Bel Uri took a few silent steps around another corner onto a sort of balcony that was part of an imperial meeting hall. The pillared hall was now covered with old ork glyphs and fresh corpses. At one end of the hall was a ramshackle stair case heading up, clearly of ork design, but the other end of the room was drawing Bel Uri’s attention. The imperial meeting hall appeared to have been crushed into the side of an alien ship. A large doorway was open and a dim light poured into the room.

In the center of the room knelt a dark eldar warrior who was peeling the skin off the face of a dead ork. All around him were ork bodies and a few downed eldar. Nearing the staircase was a group of several dozen eldar quickly moving a rhino sized floating contraption. The remaining dark eldar were guarding the alien doorway.

Captain Ruusa moved up next to Bel Uri to also take in the scene. They watched the floating contraption begin its assent up the stair way while many of the remaining dark eldar took trophies before either moving to guard the door way or enter. After a few minutes Captain Ruusa moved back to where the other marines waited. Bel Uri stayed and watched.

Bel Hando had quietly set the unconscious Tock-tzu down. Captain Razzik and the others had spread out along the hall in the darkness waiting for further commands. As Captain Ruusa approached he motioned them to move in.

He spoke in a hushed tone, even though the dark eldar were a hundred yards away around several corners of metal walls. “It appears we’ve found an embedded dark eldar vessel inside the rokk. They just escorted a floating device away from their vessel further up into the rokk. We should…” Ruusa paused mid sentence as an orange blip flashed three times in his HUD. All of the marines turned towards Bel Uri’s position but only Captain Ruusa moved up. Quietly as he could, he once again approached the balcony. Bel Uri was hidden against the wall over looking the hall. He pointed towards the stair way. Coming down the stairs was a small contingent of dark eldar, but with them they draggeed unconscious Ice Angels. There were four marines all together and each one had a peculiar device attached to them through a series of cords. They were being carried by a host of dark eldar warriors. As they approached the mid way point in the hall way, some cheering and shouts were exchanged between them and the eldar guarding the door way.

At seeing the dark eldar’s joy in taking prisoners Bel Uri began to tremble with rage. Thoughts of tortured brothers and the pinned marine he had pulled from the previous rokk flew through his mind. Bel Uri began to fantasize of tearing the dark eldar limb from limb, covered in their blood their screams filling his thoughts. Bel Uri didn’t even realize he was beginning to squeeze on a metal support beam with his powerfist. A slight screech was all the sound it made before he came out of his reverie and to reality. The dark eldar didn’t seem to notice, but when he looked over at Captain Ruusa. The Captain was staring at him. Bel Uri couldn’t see his face behind the helmet, but he knew the look.

The Ice Angel gene seed comes from the Blood Angel line, and like all other Blood Angel successors, the Rage can affect any of them. No one wants to dawn the ice white armor of the Death Company for that means that they have succumbed to the Rage. As rare as it is in the Ice Angel gene seed, the commanders and veterans are always watchful of their brothers, for once the Rage is in effect you become delusional and nearly unstoppable.

Captain Ruusa’s ice blue helmet showed no emotion, only the calculated look he always had, before turning back towards his captured brothers. Bel Uri took a deep breath before also turning to the scene. Their brothers were being taken through the glowing door when gun fire and explosions erupted behind them from the stairs. One of the dark eldar with a long white mane helmet sung an order as nearly all of the dark eldar, except those carrying the marines, ran towards the stair way. The gun fire continued, the familiar sound of bolters and grenades over powering the screams of dark eldar.

Captain Ruusa gave a hand signal and both marines quickly but quietly returned to the others. “My Brothers, we have found our captured brethren. We must infiltrate the dark eldar vessel and save them. “Ruusa said as he approached his marines.

He looked to Bel Hando and then Tock-tzu. “Sergeant, give us two minutes to move in. You will then take out the guards as we approach, after that protect Tock and stay vigilant.”

“The Emperor Protects.” Was all he said as he brought up his combi-flamer and moved towards the balcony into position. The remaining marines took a side hallway to move further down the large chamber to be closer to the guards.

As they rounded a corner to what was another balcony they broke into a run, Captain Ruusa and Bel Uri up front. The moment the guards heard the marines land in the room three shots rang out in rapid succession. The first two shots dropped two dark eldar, the other guard spun around from a grazing blow but managed to stay standing long enough to take another shot, this time in the chest. At a full run the five marines barreled past the bodies into the vessel, the eerie light welcoming them to their doom.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/23 18:35:30


Post by: Gitsplitta




You're getting better and better at this Ice. Each installment a cleaner read than the last, story line is easy to follow and very compelling. Nice.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/24 02:51:18


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


I haven't read it all yet Ice, but I will when I get the time.
I can't wait to see how you fit the marine you get from me into the story with all the other GMS marines.
Also, pm me with your address and I'll send him to you


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/24 02:57:55


Post by: Asherian Command


Good job! If you mention my chapter at least once I will see that finnaly my chapter is recognized around the world or the next state over......
What ever.
Anyway.
Nice writing. Best of writing!
SW2 (thats my sig)


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/24 04:18:53


Post by: IceAngel


Thanks guys! I am glad that I'm showing some improvement. The GMS marines will be involved soon enough. I am just trying to stall long enough for Gitsplitta to complete his marine for me! lol, no pressure.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/24 04:24:54


Post by: Gitsplitta


I just found out from Nick that my custom shoulder pads are going into production... so IF you can be patient you'll get a *real* Mantis Warrior.

It'll be worth the wait.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/24 12:20:21


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:I just found out from Nick that my custom shoulder pads are going into production... so IF you can be patient you'll get a *real* Mantis Warrior.

It'll be worth the wait.



Sounds great!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/25 04:07:20


Post by: Ramos Asura


Fething. Wicked. Awesome.

Ice Im loving your work like you have no idea.
And youre actually gonna bring the GMS marines in on this?!

Duuude.... i cant wait! ^^


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/25 19:31:27


Post by: IceAngel


Ramos Asura wrote:Fething. Wicked. Awesome.

Ice Im loving your work like you have no idea.
And youre actually gonna bring the GMS marines in on this?!

Duuude.... i cant wait! ^^


lol, I'm glad you like. I've already got so many good ideas for the marine from the GMS. I really think you're going to like your marine.

@Git - dude after seeing those helmets. You're were 200% correct, they are totally worth the wait.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/25 21:02:26


Post by: Gitsplitta


I told you ice... everyone thinks I was dragging my heels on my trades... but there was method to my madness...er... tardiness...

Blackhand is The Bomb.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/26 03:16:21


Post by: gretar


Hey Ice, the Miqit story really impressed me(so did the others, but I thought that one was the best for some reason..) and I was wondering if I could make a scene from it on a medium-large display base?

If it's not okay, than thats fine, it just really grabbed me and I would love to make one of the scenes that were described and I could so clearly see in my mind


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/26 04:41:15


Post by: IceAngel


gretar wrote:Hey Ice, the Miqit story really impressed me(so did the others, but I thought that one was the best for some reason..) and I was wondering if I could make a scene from it on a medium-large display base?

If it's not okay, than thats fine, it just really grabbed me and I would love to make one of the scenes that were described and I could so clearly see in my mind


Yeah, that'd be fine. Just make sure I get to see a picture when its done!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/26 13:18:53


Post by: gretar


IceAngel wrote:
gretar wrote:Hey Ice, the Miqit story really impressed me(so did the others, but I thought that one was the best for some reason..) and I was wondering if I could make a scene from it on a medium-large display base?

If it's not okay, than thats fine, it just really grabbed me and I would love to make one of the scenes that were described and I could so clearly see in my mind


Yeah, that'd be fine. Just make sure I get to see a picture when its done!


Yeah will do!

Btw, could you PM me some colours that you use so that I wont be guessing into the blue by looking at the pictures in you'r gallery?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/26 16:09:50


Post by: IceAngel




btw, the marine in the center with the meltagun in this picture is Miqit. The blues final highlight is Ice Blue. You probably can't tell in the pictures but some of the guys have GW blues and others have vallejo blues. I think as long as you work up to Ice Blue the darker blues won't make as much of a difference.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/09/28 04:51:15


Post by: IceAngel


After the five marines passed through the threshold of the dark eldar vessel the short tunnel came to a T. The marines took up defensive positions covering both ends of the hallway. Assuming other dark eldar would be responding to the fire, they waited for a few seconds. Passing through the threshold of the vessel completely blocked all sounds from outside the vessel and all of their coms. The dark halls had smooth curved walls, but hanging from the ceiling were chains and dim lights. A quiet hum could be heard in the distance.

Eventually Captain Ruusa gave a short hand signal and Bel Uri moved down one hall towards the corner. He peered around the corner and motioned all clear. Captain Ruusa then sent Razzik down the other hall way. As Razzik checked the corner a triple orange blip appeared in their HUDs.

Bel Uri was leaning back away from the corner in a crouched position. With his powerfist he quickly gestured that three enemies were approaching. The three dark eldar warriors rounded the corner in a run their dark turquoise armor making almost no sound. The first two moved right past Bel Uri and were met by bolt rounds. The third turned to dive away but Bel Uri was already moving. Springing from his crouch he caught the leg of the eldar as he dove back around the corner. They crashed to the floor and in a blur of motion the dark eldar fired three rounds from his splinter pistol at Bel Uri’s shoulders and helmet. The rounds damaged his armor, but the holy astartes armor was designed to hold up against much worse. Bel Uri pulled the eldar towards him and blocked a blow with his powerfist. He then used the crackling powerfist to crush the head of the dark eldar into a pulp. The lithe form instantly went limp. Bel Uri began to get up when more splinter fire peppered the area around him. While lying on the dark eldar he pulled the torso of the dead over his helmet for added protection. As soon as the fire stopped he looked down the hall. At the other end of the hallway was a quickly retreating dark eldar. With a shout of anger he jumped up and ran after him.

Bel Uri was barreling through the hall ways after the fleeing thin form of his hated enemy. To his disbelief the dark eldar seemed to be out running him, no xenos should be faster then a son of Sanguinius. He used his anger to gain more speed but as he did he rounded a corner into a large oval room. Only a few feet from the entrance were a handful of waiting dark eldar. On pure reaction he lowered his head and barreled into one, crushing him against a bone colored table. The remaining dark eldar were all over the marine stabbing with jagged blades, he felt his body being pierced in several places. Warning runes flashed in his HUD before his body even registered the pain. Bel Uri head butted a dark eldar and began to twist, turn, and punch his way from his attackers. They were so caught up in their fight with Bel Uri that the arrival of four more marines didn’t even register before they were slaughtered.

“By the Throne! What is this place?” Razzik said as he let go of a recently slain dark eldar.

The room was lighter then the halls and was either used for medical purposes or torture. Blood caked the floor, bodies hung from the ceiling and all around them were remnants of humans. There were at least a dozen tables in the oval room. Several cell doors lined the walls, while the other end of the room had a larger door. Three of the four Ice Angels they had seen earlier were lying on the floor while the fourth was up on a table. The strange devices still attached to their motionless bodies occasionally blinked a dull yellow.

Ruusa moved up to the Ice Angel on the table, he examined the body and the device. While he was concentrating on the device Razzik moved towards the exit with Bel Uri while Miqit and Sidana went towards the door they came in. Two blips signaled that both door ways were clear. Ruusa laid down his double bladed power axe and shield next to his disabled brother before picking up the device to try and decipher the runes. With a black gauntlet hand he was about to press down on one of the runes when a deep raspy voice stopped him, “That would not be wise.” It said.

Bel Uri was already diving towards the cell just as Miqit spun on his heels. Captain Ruusa looked up at the cell directly across from him. In between the small bars of the door was only blackness, yet once again the voice spoke.

“Please my brother, release me and I will revive him.”

Bel Uri was now crouched next to the handle, with Miqit pointing his meltagun Kwu-akki at the door. Captain Ruusa calmly picked up his poweraxe and walked across the room. Making no effort to silence his walk he stepped towards the cell. The door was locked with several bolts and a metal beam which he opened all while starring into the darkness.

With a clang the beam hit the floor and the Captain opened the door. As the light poured into the small cell, a form could be seen pinned to the wall. It was another space marine but unlike the Ice Angels he was dark skinned and the entire right side of his body was covered in brands. He was completely naked except for a metal mask that covered his mouth. His eyes screamed of defiance and his long hair drooped down past his shoulders. As Captain Ruusa visually scanned the marine, the marine scanned him, both sizing up one another.

“You know how to use those devices?” Ruusa asked.
“Yes.” The captive responded.
“How?”
“I’ve been a prisoner a long time. I am the last one left. I’ve seen them use those devices many times and I know what will happen if you do it wrong, release me and I’ll bring them back.” He said flatly.

The Captain took one more look at the branded marine, handed his axe to Miqit, before stepping into the small cell. He reached up and removed the mask; blood trickled down his face from the jagged cuts the tight mask had created.

“What’s your name and rank marine?” The captain asked.
The captive hesitated and then spoke, “Sergeant Pyrox of the Fire Angel Chapter.”
Captain Ruusa began to remove the arm pins and leg pins, the weak form of the Fire Angel slumped towards the captain. Ruusa held him up so the Sergeant could regain his feet.

“I am Captain Ruusa of the Ice Angels. If you try to flee or harm one of my marines, by the Emperor’s Light I’ll destroy you.” He said as he stared down the branded marine. He then stepped back out of the cell. “Now if you could, I’d like to see my brothers once again on their feet.”

A fire seemed to start in the naked marines eyes as he gave a faint smile. Pyrox took a few wobbly steps as he approached the downed marine on the table. Miqit backed away and Bel Uri moved in to flank the naked marine. Pyrox examined where the cords were attached and pushed one button on the device the same moment he removed a cord, he systematically did this on all of the cords and device. As the last one was removed the marine took a deep breathe as if he were gasping for air.

“Brother Tani, be calm.” Captain Ruusa said as he looked down at the still marine. The marine’s eyes darted around for a moment before focusing on the captain. “Why doesn’t he move?” Bel Uri growled at Pyrox.

“It will take just a moment for the poisonous cocktail to work itself out of his system, he will be up in a matter of minutes. “ Pyrox responded as he leaned on the table. Brother Tani slowly turned his head and then wiggled his fingers.

“Miqit, help Pyrox with the others. We need to get back to our brethren.” Captain Ruusa said as he took his axe back from Miqit.

Pyrox moved some of his dark hair out of his face before moving to the next downed brother. “Before we leave we should free the others.” He stated as he knelt down.

“There are more? I thought you were the last?” Razzik said.

“I am. They had already taken the others just moments before you arrived. I am assuming they’re heading back through the portal, unless there are other dark eldar vessels nearby.” Pyrox explained.

“No, we’re actually in the middle of an ork rokk.” Razzik responded.

Pryox looked up and started off into space before his deep voice spoke again. “Interesting.”

“Can you lead us to the portal Sergeant Pyrox?” Ruusa asked.

“I did not have a free pass to wander the ship, so no. I just know I took a portal to get on this vessel.” he added as he once again methodically removed cords. The downed Ice Angel suddenly breathing heavily.

“Welcome Brother Dtril.” Miqit said as Pyrox once again moved to the next marine.

“Once they’re up and able we’re moving out. Bel Uri and Sidana scout ahead and find us where they went. This Dark Eldar filth is beginning to irritate me. “Ruusa said as he retrieved his shield.

Bel Uri quickly moved towards the door and Sidana crossed the room after him. Before leaving Bel Uri yanked out several embedded splinter rounds from his armor and checked his latest wounds. Seeing they were closed properly he gave the captain a nod and the pair took off through the hall way searching for more enemies to slay and brethren to save.




Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/04 02:19:35


Post by: IceAngel


Bel Uri and Sidana didn’t go far before they found what they were looking for. After several dead ends and a path way that forced the marines to move up a level, they came across the sounds of dark eldar chanting and shouting. The two marines came across an intersection and they moved towards the sound. With no cover or even wall supports to spy from they were forced to stop well shy of the room that the hall way opened up into. From what it sounded though, there must have been 20 or 30 Dark Eldar. An electric buzz could be heard under the smooth Dark Eldar speak, clearly some major activity was under way. With their time almost up the two dark armored marines returned to their brethren.

When they returned they saw Brother Dtril, Tani, Fwaupuu, and T’Qwaba up on their feet. They were battered and wounded but ready to slay the enemies of the Emperor. The only weapons they had were a few combat knives and dark eldar blades they had picked up. Pyrox was seated on a table next to Ruusa and Razzik, Miqit was on post at the door as they entered.

Both captains and Pyrox turned their attention to the returning marines.
“Target located Captain.” Bel Uri said as he approached.
Ruusa nodded and looked out at his Ice Angels. “Lead us to them Bel Uri, it is past time we purged these aliens.”

The Ice Angels nodded their heads and murmured their prayers. Bel Uri lead the Ice Angels and the lone Fire Angel towards their prey.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/04 02:19:51


Post by: IceAngel


Bel Uri was cautiously walking along the side of the hall way. Four marines were behind him, while the other five were in a line on the other side of the hall moving silently down towards the dark opening. The noise of Dark Eldar from before was replaced with a cold silence. Something was terribly wrong, he could feel it in his bones, but he knew this was the same place as before.

The hall way they were traversing had a slight incline and when they neared the top Ruusa held up a fist. Everyone stopped and stood silent. Ruusa pointed to Bel Uri and waved forward, everyone else stayed motionless. Bel Uri and Ruusa moved the last few yards up the incline. The room at the end of the hall was large for this vessel and surprisingly cold. There was a dull pulsing light near the back of the room from some mechanical device on stilts, but other then that the only light was a red candle in the center of the room. Under the candle was a desecrated body of a marine. His stomach was torn open and all around him was blood and gore. Both Bel Uri and Ruusa were staring at the body when they heard a low growl to their left. Soon several other growls responded. The darkness around the room seemed to move when a soft feminine chuckle silenced the growls. Just outside the radiance of the candle a form could be seen from the pulsing backlight.

“You’re a little late, marine.” She said with disgust in her voice.

Ruusa took a step forward, the growling once again started.

She chuckled and made a small hand motion, the end of a whip rolling into the candle light. “I hope you’re more of a challenge then the last few pathetic marines I’ve slaughtered.” She then stepped into the light. The scantily clad woman wore only a small armored vest and tattoos. “Come on whelp, I grow tired of staring at you. Shout some nonsense about your pathetic emperor and fight me!” A smug look of satisfaction crossed her face as she saw their reactions.

With super human speed both Bel Uri and Ruusa rushed forward. “For Sanguinuis!” Bel Uri shouted. After only a few steps the woman smiled and flipped backwards into the darkness. Bel Uri was slightly faster then Ruusa but was pounced on by some sort of beast. Bel Uri tumbled to the ground punching and kneeing a skinless creature. The cat like beast dug in his claws and tried to use its bulk to bring its massive jaws on Bel Uri’s helmet. Seeing him fall, Ruusa dove forward to dodge another pouncing beast.

As soon as Bel Uri had shouted the other Ice Angels and Fire Angel ran into the room to assist. They were also met by the strange beasts. The beasts seemed to chill the air around them as they jumped and pounced on the marines. Only a few shots could be heard over the growls and howls of the beasts. To Ruusa, he knew his brothers could take on the strange creatures; all that mattered was slaying the alien bitch that defiled the Emperors name and tortured his marines.

With the sound of battle behind him, Ruusa moved past the unknown corpse on the floor. With shield and double bladed axe he moved into the darkness. Using all of his senses he tried to locate the dark eldar. A slight shuffle behind him was all the warning he had. He spun around, axe swinging at chest level. Air was the only thing he hit as he realized she had jumped over him. A short blade went into his flesh in between his chest plate and arm. Ruusa held his arm tight against his body as he tried to pin the blade in his own flesh, but the small blade still slid out. He rolled away and came up facing his attacker. He quickly tried to move in and swing with his axe with a downward chop. She side stepped the chop and jabbed her needle thin blade into Ruusa’s elbow. With a shout of rage Ruusa punched out with his shield. A satisfying crunch brought a smile to his face.

She moaned, “Hmm yes. That was exquisite.” Ruusa was mid step when she tumbled across the floor right at him. Now inside his next swing, she jabbed her blade into his abdomen. With a smile she started to flip to his side. Ruusa dropped his shield and grabbed a handful of her passing hair. With a screech she didn’t complete her flip but fell on the ground. Hair in hand Ruusa pulled her across the floor right to him. With all his might his axe came down at the lithe form. With real hate in her eyes she swung her legs up and deflected his swing with her knee. Next her blade came up and went through Ruusa’s wrist, but this time the blade stuck in between his super human bones.

Now free, she tumbled away. Ruusa pulled out the blade in his wrist and threw it aside. His body was screaming in pain from the wounds and he couldn’t move is left hand. Her nose was shattered and blood freely fell down her face. She unfurled her whip and as she took her first swing, Ruusa hurled his double blade axe at her. With insane speed she contorted to dodge the axe, but it wasn’t enough. The powered blade cut a deep gash across her shoulder.

With a scream that seemed to shake the darkness itself she cracked her whip at Ruusa. He blocked with his good arm. The whip coiled around his arm, spiked barbs punctured his armor. Ruusa’s eyes went wide as his arm lost all feeling and fell limp at his side. The Dark Eldar took several steps forward and jumped through the air. In mid flight she let go of the whip and took out two more blades. She landed in a crouched position on his shoulders and jammed one blade into Ruusa’s hemlet and the other into his throat. Ruusa fell backwards and she rolled off of him. Both blades were still imbedded in his body. Ruusa tried to speak but blood was gurgling up his throat. The dark eldar then reappeared on top of him pinning him to the floor. With blood dripping from her shattered nose she smiled.

“That,” she paused, “was amazing.” She licked her bloody lips. “Now I must go.” She leaned down and kissed his helmet. “One more parting gift, I’m going to blow up all of your friends. “ She said with a sinister look. She pushed small device hidden in her jewelry. The pulsing light on the mechanical device began to quicken.

She stood up and looked down at the dying marine. She turned to leave when a dark form crashed into her from the side. The woman tried to flee from the grasp of the naked marine. She thrashed and tried to punch, but the marine wove his arms and legs around her. Soon she was unable to move, the marines bulk holding her down. Face to face, she screamed at the branded marine. She tried to head butt him, but he was just out of reach. She spit in his face instead. With a smile he made a sound that came from deep in his throat. It sounded like a gravel landslide. Special glands activated and churned out a special concoction of chemicals. With all his force he spit out a glob of glowing goo. It hit her face and immediately combusted. Her face burst into flames, her hair went up in smoke. She creamed as her face melted off. Only inches away from the dying woman Pyrox held her down. He watched her worm and try to escape but he held true. All the years of torment, all the years of suffering, gave him the strength as he watched one of his hated enemies thrash.

“Holy Emperor, NO!” Razzik shouted as he approached his downed Captain.

The other marines were gathering around as Razzik knelt down next to Ruusa. He quickly examined where the blades had entered, the scene was grim. He pulled the blade out of Ruusa’s throat and held his head steady. Ruusa coughed in his helmet and with a gargled voice he spoke “She armed a bomb, you must escape.”

After just the millisecond it took to comprehend his words, Razzik looked up at his brethren and shouted, “MOVE!”

Razzik picked up Ruusa and Miqit lead the group. Bel Uri and Sidana helped the wounded. The flight through the vessel hardly took a minute before the bomb went off. The ork Rokk shook. The Ice Angels came out of the dark eldar vessel with dust and debris at their backs.

In the upside down cathedral they were met by the other Ice Angels. At seeing Razzik exit with the wounded Ruusa there was a gasp followed by prayers to the Emperor. Razzik stepped out and gently laid down his Captain. Philosir moved in to stand next to the kneeling Razzik. Ruusa’s motionless body was there but their beloved Captain was now at the Emperor’s side.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/04 02:49:48


Post by: whalemusic360


DUN DUN DUN! You've officially got me hooked.
1 question though. How did you type the whole second part in 16 seconds?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/04 03:12:26


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:DUN DUN DUN! You've officially got me hooked.
1 question though. How did you type the whole second part in 16 seconds?


lol, i had actually typed up both but posted them separately. It looked funny putting a break in the one post so I made them two!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/04 21:42:11


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


As with before I’m not trying to steal your fire, it’s just that at times I find passages in your posts that don’t seem quite right. Such as the one below (again the bit I take issue with is the bit between the 's)

Miqit did a quick gear check before taking a closer look at his brothers. Captain Ruusa, with his double bladed power axe and storm shield, looked determined and anxious to find the fallen Captain Razzik. The Captain seemed to notice Miqit’s look and he nodded his pointed ice blue helm at him. Miqit returned the gesture before looking over to Bel Hando. Bel Hando is the sergeant to the Shwando, a newly formed devastator unit; his usual demeanor has been replaced by one of sorrow for loosing his first two battle brothers under his command. Ishtim took fire from a mob of lootas and Tock-tzu fell into the darkness with Razzik.

To me this reads like to me is that bit at the beginning of screenplays where each character is listed along with a short paragraph that acts as both a biography and an explanation of their motives. To me it seems to break the flow of the story. Thus far all the segments of this story that you have posted have been very much set in the present and are very much action driven. Stopping the current progression of events to reiterate something that already happened or to go into depth on a character breaks the immersion.

I would suggest having a paragraph at the beginning of each new post where you recap significant events in the story thus far that affect the current installment. Also in this paragraph you can include information about the characters that the reader might not know about.

Hopefully what I have written makes sense. Your writing is getting better but there are still a number of spots where the narrative gets a little rough on the reader.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/04 21:47:35


Post by: whalemusic360


Maybe like an appendix of characters and other jargon like in most of the Black Library books would help.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/05 01:44:05


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:As with before I’m not trying to steal your fire, it’s just that at times I find passages in your posts that don’t seem quite right. Such as the one below (again the bit I take issue with is the bit between the 's)

Miqit did a quick gear check before taking a closer look at his brothers. Captain Ruusa, with his double bladed power axe and storm shield, looked determined and anxious to find the fallen Captain Razzik. The Captain seemed to notice Miqit’s look and he nodded his pointed ice blue helm at him. Miqit returned the gesture before looking over to Bel Hando. Bel Hando is the sergeant to the Shwando, a newly formed devastator unit; his usual demeanor has been replaced by one of sorrow for loosing his first two battle brothers under his command. Ishtim took fire from a mob of lootas and Tock-tzu fell into the darkness with Razzik.

To me this reads like to me is that bit at the beginning of screenplays where each character is listed along with a short paragraph that acts as both a biography and an explanation of their motives. To me it seems to break the flow of the story. Thus far all the segments of this story that you have posted have been very much set in the present and are very much action driven. Stopping the current progression of events to reiterate something that already happened or to go into depth on a character breaks the immersion.

I would suggest having a paragraph at the beginning of each new post where you recap significant events in the story thus far that affect the current installment. Also in this paragraph you can include information about the characters that the reader might not know about.

Hopefully what I have written makes sense. Your writing is getting better but there are still a number of spots where the narrative gets a little rough on the reader.


I always appreciate your feedback and the CC. I am still trying to figure out when I should have a recap and when it isn't necessary. I thought about having an appendix, like what Whalemusic suggested, but haven't been able to determine a good way to do so in this forum format. I think in this particular highlighted section the recap seemed to fit in with what Miqit would have been seeing and thinking about, but not necessarily something the reader would have forgotten.

Other then explaining some unknown about a character, when should a recap such as the above be given in a story?

In my mind its usually at the beginning of a book, but here in the forum should I assume that everyone reading my story has read everything up to date? Or treat every post almost like a new book? Thoughts?

Maybe I could edit a post in the beginning and add all of the useful information, then put a link in newer posts referring back to the character list. More thoughts?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/05 04:12:16


Post by: whalemusic360


I dont think we can do sub or super script, but that would be the way to go if you could figure it out.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/05 14:42:29


Post by: Gitsplitta


Really nice work Ice. I saved the reading of this until I had time to properly take it in. Thanks for your efforts, they are quite enjoyable. And yeah... I'm hooked too.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/06 19:30:29


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:Really nice work Ice. I saved the reading of this until I had time to properly take it in. Thanks for your efforts, they are quite enjoyable. And yeah... I'm hooked too.


I am glad you guys are continuing to read along and see where I am going. I feel that with the good feedback I've been able to really make some strides in the right direction. After thinking more on what Ma55ter_fett said, I am going to make some sort of appendix like post. I may just stick it here on page 5 and then link back to it on further posts. I already had a page that I used on a regular basis to keep my own guys straight so I just need to change it up a bit and we should be good to go. I think I am going to work on that before posting more on my story. I may be able to add some great pictures too. Most of these characters are actually in my army and painted, I just need to take some good pictures of them.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/06 20:05:13


Post by: Gitsplitta


Thats an excellent idea Ice! Would be nice to be able to refer back to such a page.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/07 05:49:21


Post by: IceAngel


Ice Angel Characters
Chapter Master Librarian Duggon: known for bringing Shattermantle to the aid of the Death Specters saving them from near annihilation, accredited for destroying Waaaagh Redface, participated in the third Armageddon War, carries into battle his two force claws.

Captain Ruusa – 2nd Captain, accredited for turning tides on Blavin IV, stopped a splinter cell of Hive Fleet Leviathan, wields poweraxe and shield

Captain Razzik: 12th Captain, recently promoted to Captain from squad Ashurbani, wields his powerfist and shield into combat. Known for holding Fortress Laven against the Cult of the Ebon Fist.

Techmarine Philosir: 2nd Techmarine, demolition expert, known for his great strives in space warfare.

Brother Frakatuzuli - aka Frank: The last remaining original Blood Angel in the chapter, now entombed in a dreadnought, wielder of the Anchor, known for his wisdom and story telling.

Ice Angel Units
Veteran Squad Uttuakki – Color Orange – infiltration and special ops unit
Sergeant Muttabriqu: wields a powerfist and plasma pistol
Bel Uri: Second in command. Wields a powerfist and chainsword and is known for his amazing combat prowess
Miqit: The newest member, wields his meltagun Kwu-akki
Sidana
Bennu
Sarabda: Meltagun
Tirid
Idiptu
Rabishu
Umru: Auspex and communications

Tactical Squad Kurigulzu
Sergeant Kadakrazz: power axe, plasma pistol
Mi-luqua Vaz: Helped train the Ivory Skull chapter and to this day wears his black skull helm they gifted him
Rattmu: Heavy bolter
Fwuapuu
T’Qwaba
Deemethresi

Veteran Squad Ashurbani – Color Purple – known for use of hand flamers

Assault Squad Labushi
Sergeant Shu-Turul
Ruqum
Dtril
Utaan
Tani

Tactical Squad Rimsin

Devastator Squad Shwando – one of the chapter’s newest units
Sergeant Bel Hando: Recently promoted, wields combi-flamer
Baris: Heavy bolter
Tock-tzu: Multi-melta
Gilgam Heavy bolter
Ishtin Heavy bolter

Other Characters
Sergeant Pyrox – Fire Angels – Rescued by Ice Angels aboard Dark Eldar ship.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/07 05:50:19


Post by: IceAngel


After much internal discussion, I decided to start with a real basic list of characters. What, if anything, do you think I should add to that character list? Any other info, or descriptions?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/07 19:08:18


Post by: whalemusic360


Whats the (D) mean? Pronunciation might be good too.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/08 02:06:20


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:Whats the (D) mean? Pronunciation might be good too.


The (D) was something for me, not meant to be in the post. I'll have to write out all of those phonetically.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/08 02:10:20


Post by: whalemusic360


A short bio, with things like wargear, deeds, etc (where appropriate) would be cool too. I much more think "Multimelta Guy" then the actual name. Hell my guys are usually named with numbers denoting company, squad, and number in that squad. Fear Brother 3-5-3 and his mighty meltagun!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/09 22:02:48


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:A short bio, with things like wargear, deeds, etc (where appropriate) would be cool too. I much more think "Multimelta Guy" then the actual name. Hell my guys are usually named with numbers denoting company, squad, and number in that squad. Fear Brother 3-5-3 and his mighty meltagun!


I think I will add a little bit more, but I don't want there to be a whole summary, or a list of things they've done. That's what you have to read the story for!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/10 02:54:21


Post by: whalemusic360


I was thinking more like, for instance:
Uriel Ventris: Captain 7th company. Former Deathwatch. Leader during the defence of whatever that planet was from nids, quelled rebellion and slew unknown alien on that other place, slew traitor legion scum on their own turf. Know to carry a bloter, power sword, and bolt pistol. All around BAMF.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/10 04:06:51


Post by: Necroman


I just read the first chapter (The ice dangler hunt).

Your action scenes are nicely choreographed, although it would have been nicer to see more use of the jet (And I was confused at first about why it wasn't mentioned that much when they were in an asteroid belt). Whatever happens, you've got a new reader here!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/10 16:11:06


Post by: IceAngel


Necroman wrote:I just read the first chapter (The ice dangler hunt).

Your action scenes are nicely choreographed, although it would have been nicer to see more use of the jet (And I was confused at first about why it wasn't mentioned that much when they were in an asteroid belt). Whatever happens, you've got a new reader here!


I'm glad you like! This is not only my army fluff, but a way to improve my writing skills. Read on and it will improve!

@ WM - hmmm, I like your summary. I may be able to do something along those lines, but keep the summary all pre-this-story stuff.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/16 04:19:33


Post by: IceAngel


As the bombs went off a large majority of the vessel simply vanished. Gouts of flame shot into space, hues of purple and blue could be seen over the brief glimpse of red. The outer shell broke apart and shattered. The chunks flew through space in nearly every direction at once.

From a safe distance away the Imperial Fleet watched. All the fleet rejoiced as the last remaining rokk in this system was destroyed. All except one ship, the Frozen Rage.

Aboard the aft observation deck the Ice Angel officers along with several of the naval staff gathered. They watched in silence as the remnants of the ork rokk scattered into space. The loss of their brethren, especially Captain Ruusa, left the room a somber tone. Even the outspoken Bel Hando hung his head in quite contemplation.

As the last bits of rock dispersed out of view Captain Razzik turned from the glass to look over his command. At his movement many Ice Angels looked up and regarded the now 11th Captain of the Ice Angel Chapter. Unlike many chapters that follow the rigid Codex Astartes, the Ice Angels use a different system for their captains. When one falls in battle all other captains of lower rank are promoted. It is the only promotion that they regret.

After a few more moments of thought Captain Razzik addressed his command, “The history books and records of the Imperium will remember this battle on Rokk Mekaroid as the final stand against orks in this system, a minor victory in the grand scheme of the Waaaagh that plagues this sector. To us, it will be a great tragedy that will be etched into the ice tombs deep in Shattermantle. Even now the fleet rejoices and prepares to move towards the next system to begin anew the battle against the greenskin.”

Captain Razzik slowly began to prowl the room; every one he passed bowed their heads or nodded. “Instead of moving forward with the fleet we’ve been requested at high command to report our Dark Eldar findings directly to them. We will then be heading back to Shattermantle to tell our tale to Master Daggon and etch the final chapter of Captain Ruusa into his shard.”

Razzik ended his walk in front of Brother Frakatazuli, who was in his standard furiouso dreadnought suit. Razzik looked up into the ice blue light of Frakatazuli’s tomb. The dreadnought simply looked back and then turned to leave the room.

“Commander Seluku.” Razzik said as he looked over at a tall lanky naval officer.
“Yes, my Captain.” Seluku said with a bow.
Razzik turned to regard the loyal Commander of the Frozen Rage. The commander wore a dark gray long coat and his long skull plugs shined in the artificial light. They reminded Razzik of silver dreadlocks. “Send a signal to the Imperial Fleet of our departure then prepare for warp travel. I’ll be on the bridge shortly.”
“It shall be done.” Seluku said with another bow. He immediately left the observation deck along with all of the other naval officers.

When the double doors closed Razzik regarded his, command. Many of the pale faces had taken orders from Ruusa for many decades some even centuries; Philosir had been at Ruusa’s side from his beginning as a scout. Razzik’s light blue eyes met with Philosir and he stopped himself from speaking. Instead he dismissed the room. One by one they filed out, their black robes making little sound as they past by the captain. Finally only Razzik and Philosir stood in the room.

Techmarine Philosir was, as always, in his armor. Even with many of his weapon arms changed out to tools and his power axe replaced with his staff, Philosir still had an aura of power around him. One of the few parts of the techmarine that wasn’t machine was his face. Philosir always said that you can never have enough senses, why not keep your own and get mechanical ones. His scarred face looked paler then a typical Ice Angel and his once vibrant eyes were now cold and distant.

“How is our guest?” Razzik asked.

Philosir paused then said “He is awake and physically improving, but still keeping quiet.” He pulled out a datapad from a hip compartment. “According to Cyaxares and Attikusu he is both of able body and mind.” After pushing a series of buttons he turned the pad over to Razzik.

Razzik closely regarded the pad, “I think we should have a chat then. Any luck with the device?”

“Some, but it will take more time before I can unlock all of its secrets.” Philosir paused before continuing on. “It would be much more beneficial if I could dismantle it and try to understand the inner workings.”

Razzik turned and stared out into space, rules and regulations filled his mind, “I agree Philosir. Do what you must. Keep me informed.”

With a head bow the Techpriest turned and left the room.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As the sleek black Ice Angel ship turned away from the fleet a bulky dark gray vessel turned in pursuit. The two ships were of similar size, but very different designs. The Ice Angel ship was bristling with artillery for ship to ship combat, the bow of the Frozen Rage was a giant ram that could deliver an entire detachment of marines directly into enemy vessels. If it had a hilt the ship would have looked similar to a sword.

The gray ship was now pulling along side, its armored bulk held banks of drop pods, space to surface weapons, and according to the wolf insignia, Space Wolves.

“Commander Seluku, we just received word that the Space Wolves will be accompanying us. They too have been ordered to high command. “The communications officer reported.

Seluku turned from his throne towards Captain Razzik, who was only a few steps away over looking the command compartment of the Frozen Rage. Captain Razzik looked out at the Space Wolf vessel, the Polar Kraken.

“Tell Andvett Rockstorm, we’ll protect his squat freighter any time.” Razzik said with a chuckle. As the message was sent Razzik could hear in his head the obnoxious belly laugh of Andvett Rockstorm. They had fought side by side on only a few occasions but during this small ork incursion they had spoke many times. A mutual respect had been bonded between the two space marine forces.

Without waiting for a response the Frozen Rage tore into the warp with the Polar Kraken at its heels.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After the warp transition was completed and all systems checked out, Captain Razzik headed down to the infirmary. The entrance to the medical facility was a bustle of activity. Several Brothers had been recently released from their injuries and others were coming in to visit the more seriously wounded.

Once inside, the Captain was reminded of how many losses the cursed Dark Eldar had caused. With a prayer on his breath he visited each marine. The last marine he met up with was Tock-tzu. He had severe internal damage, but will pull through in only a few short weeks.

As Captain Razzik left Tock’s room he heard a metal tray crash to the floor. Rounding the corner were several of the operation chambers, Razzik came up to one of the windows to see some of the medical staff and servitors fitting an Ice Angel with a bionic arm.

A burly marine named Rattmu was seated on the edge of a table, a massive bionic arm was straight out in front of him, silver tools were all over the floor. He was flush with frustration. At the sight of Razzik he immediately calmed down. “Captain” was all he said.
“Rattmu, hows the new arm?”
“If they could get it to respond correctly, it would be fine.” He responded.
A female medic named Arwia appeared from a small side room, “Actually, it appears to be responded correctly, your brain however is not properly….”
Rattmu shot her a glance that abruptly stopped her mid sentence. “We’ll have to make more adjustments before he is once again field ready Captain Razzik.”
“We have a few weeks before we arrive, I hope that will suffice.” Razzik added.
“That’s entirely up to Rattmu” Arwia said as she jabbed him with a syringe.

Trying to hide his smile, Razzik gave a short nod to Rattmu and turned away. A few minutes later he arrived at the guarded end of the infirmary. All of the cells were open and empty except one. In front of the last cell was Chaplain Cyaxeres. Cyaxeres wore his black ceremonial robes, his rosarius and Crozius Arcanum hung on his person. Next to him was Sergeant Pyrox of the Fire Angel chapter in a simple gray robe. In the week he had been aboard he had changed greatly. His body had begun to fill in with muscle, his skin had a more natural tone, his hair was chopped, and the scars from his mask had healed up leaving a permanent outline on his face. He turned to regard the approaching captain.

“The Emperor Protects, my captain.” Cyaxeres said quietly.
“How is our guest?” Razzik said.
“He is stable and recovering. The Dark Eldar machine brought him back, but he is still damaged from whatever they did to him.” Cyaxeres stated.
“I don’t recognize him, but I only saw a small group of prisoners. I’ve not seen a prisoner in this condition before.” Pyrox added. Cyaxeres nodded and then added.
“We’ve run all the tests we can. Attikusu suggested we take our time and not push him until we learn more.”

With a thoughtful nod Razzik moved past the marines into the cell. Strapped to the bed was the heavily wounded marine that Bel Uri and his unit had located weeks before. His body was heavily scarred, his imperial tattoos had been damaged, and he was in need of a new eye, leg, and serious arm repair. The small room had only the bed and a stool. Razzik cautiously came to the foot of the bed and looked over the tortured marine. As the door closed shut behind him the click of the door brought on a panicked look from the marine. He looked around the room frantically before his one good eye focused in on Razzik.

“Hello, I am Captain Razzik of the Ice Angels.” He paused to await a response.

The marine stared at him.

“You’re completely safe now, you can relax.” He once again waited.

The marine continued to stare.

“I see. When you’re ready, we’ll talk.” Razzik stood up. He waited and gave the marine a final nod before turning. He opened the door and gave the marine a final glance. The tortured marine continued to stare as he closed the door. The locks clicked back into place.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/16 19:58:28


Post by: Aun'shi


It really gives a good intro into something no one had heard of before, Brilliant!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/16 20:08:01


Post by: Asherian Command


I like it. Good job, i have started to do one of these.
Except i'm using famous characters.
Anyway its good to see you used the space wolves.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/16 21:12:10


Post by: Gitsplitta


Excellent Ice. Anxiously awaiting the next installment!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/16 22:14:37


Post by: Asherian Command


Congrats! Nice job on it.
This chapter keeps getting better and better every day!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 01:56:26


Post by: IceAngel


The windows all around him appeared to be empty. The doors to every building were closed. All around him was nothing but silence and ferrocrete structures. Cautiously he walked down the city block. His black armor was trimmed in ice blue; his white helmet was almost gleaming in the artificial light.

He heard a buzzing sound for only a millisecond before his targets appeared. To him though, that was all he needed. With super human speed he pulled up his heavy bolter and rattled off several rounds. In windows to his left three drones blew into pieces. Before they had even hit the floor he was swiveling to his right. One more drone was lining up a shot from the second floor. The drone fired its bolter the instant that he fired his heavy bolter. The heavy round took the drone out and the bolter clipped the marines shoulder. The impact turned him to the side making him move his feet and rebalance.

The sound of running feet brought him back to his right side. A smaller marine in red armor was running at full speed, two short blades in his hands. He covered the distance alarmingly fast.

The black armored marine did not hesitate to open fire with his heavy bolter. Anticipating the move the red armored marine tumbled to the side dodging the large caliber rounds. As the marine closed the gap the heavy bolter barked out again, this time the smaller marine leapt into the air, the heavy bolter clicked empty just as the marine lined up the shot. The red armored marine was hardly slowing down, only a few more steps and he would have his kill. He leaned forward to dive at the larger black target, but was surprised when the heavy bolter itself collided with his face. Caught off guard he collapsed onto the ground, he tried to recover but the black armored marine was on him stabbing with his combat knife. It took only one jab to the back of the neck before it was over.

“Damn Rattmu! You actually killed me!” Bel Uri shouted from his prone position. With a hearty laugh Rattmu picked up his downed brother. “It only took me nine tries!” He responded. Bel Uri reached down to pick up the heavy bolter, “I am not sure they’ll appreciate you throwing your weapon at the enemies.” Even under his helmet, Bel Uri could see Rattmu’s grin. The larger black armored marine held out his huge bionic arm.

Bel Uri handed over the heavy and then took off his red practice helmet, his vibrant eyes had a look of disappointment about them. Shaking his head a wide smile began to creep across his face. “Wow, I can already hear my squad giving me crap about this. I can’t remember the last time someone defeated me.” Rattmu let out another hearty laugh. “You know I’m going to tell everyone in the chapter right?” He added.

They both laughed and joked all the way out of the practice cityscape. Servitors scrabbled out and began to rebuild the destroyed drones.

After they had turned in their practice gear they left the facilities. Almost immediately after they had left they ran into Miqit. Miqit was in his armor, helmet on, Kwu-akki in his hand. “Bel Uri, suit up. Razzik wants us and Bennu to meet him in the infirmary.”

With a quizzical look on his face Bel Uri paused, “Did he say what for?”
“I didn’t ask.” Miqit responded before heading to the infirmary. With a shrug Bel Uri took off in a jog towards his gear.

“He probably wants to check out your pretty face after that whoopin!” Rattmu shouted.

Bel Uri just shook his head as he jogged away.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Now that you’re all here I want you to try and assist me.” Captain Razzik said. “The marine you captured we’ve been able to revive, but he hasn’t said a word or responded to anything we’ve done.”

Razzik, Bennu, Bel Uri, and Miqit were all in the hall way outside of the cells. Attikusu was not far away looking at a datapad.

“What do you want us to do?” Bel Uri asked.

Attikusu came over to the group and handed the datapad to Miqit, “Introduce yourselves. Tell a story. Talk about where you were when you found him. Try to get him to speak. We are trying to learn everything we can before he meets up with the Inquisition.”

“I’ve visited him every day for two weeks and he hasn’t said a word to me.” Razzik added. “I know he is aware. He is much calmer now then he was.”

The three members of squad Uttuakki all nodded their heads in understanding. “We shall try.” Bel Uri added before turning towards the door.

The door opened silently and the three armed marines entered. On the bed was the marine they had saved. He was in much better condition then when they had last seen him, but now the extent of torture was easier to see on his clean body.

The marines introduced themselves and for a few awkward minutes asked simple questions and tried to get any response from the tortured marine. The response was only a blank stare. Bel Uri told a recap of the battle on the rokk where they found him. Bel Uri at one point was on his feet reenacting some of the fighting. Still they had no response from the tortured marine. Bennu then began another story of their fight with the stompa on the Rokk Mekaroid. The marine continued to stare at the Ice Angels.

After several hours they ran out of things to talk about. Bel Uri was sitting on the stool in the room, his helmet in his powerfist. He looked over to Miqit and shrugged. Miqit looked down at the datapad and walked over to the marine on the bed, he handed him the pad. With a strange look in his good eye he hesitantly took the datapad. “I don’t know how long you’ve been gone, but I’ve adjusted the pad so you can see all the information we’ve gathered on you and some general information on what’s been going on for the past few years.”

The tortured marine looked from the pad, to Miqit, and back to the pad. With a sigh Bel Uri got up and put his helmet back on. He left the room with Bennu on his heals. Miqit stood up and began to turn around when the tortured marines hand shot out and grabbed Miqits elbow. Miqit looked down at the hand. A smooth voice spoke, “Can we speak, you and I?”

Miqit looked at the seated marine. His gravel gray hair was cropped short and his one good eye was a deep mahogany. Miqit took a glance out the door at Bennu who returned the look. Miqit gave Bennu a nod before the door slowly shut with a click. “Of course we can.”

Miqit moved around the bed and sat on the stool. The other marine took a deep breath and looked out in the distance. “My name is Vetov, Commander Vetov of the Emperor’s Tears.” He turned and his face quivered with inner turmoil. He paused and took another deep breath. Miqit waited patiently. Vetox looked over at the datapad.

“I was captured seventeen years ago along with many of my men.” The datapad in his hand began to shake, he looked at Miqit with a piercing glare. Through gritted teeth he spoke again, “I was betrayed.”


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 01:57:47


Post by: IceAngel


Thanks for all the great feedback guys! If you get a chance check out the appendix on the first page. Tell me what you think of that as well. Thanks!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 02:01:12


Post by: Asherian Command


Plot Twist!
Emperor's Tears.
Good job, like the time you put into it!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 03:28:32


Post by: Gitsplitta


Great stuff Ice... nothin' else to say... just really great stuff.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 07:32:31


Post by: Finch Claw


Hey pal, I'm back. So... Much... Reading... Your stuff is really great, I might even say *addictive*. Haven't finished it all yet :( , although I will. Keep up the AWESOME story.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 14:00:38


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:Hey pal, I'm back. So... Much... Reading... Your stuff is really great, I might even say *addictive*. Haven't finished it all yet :( , although I will. Keep up the AWESOME story.


welcome back! Good luck getting through everything. lol The story is getting quite expansive.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 15:02:50


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:
Finch Claw wrote:Hey pal, I'm back. So... Much... Reading... Your stuff is really great, I might even say *addictive*. Haven't finished it all yet :( , although I will. Keep up the AWESOME story.


welcome back! Good luck getting through everything. lol The story is getting quite expansive.


I agree with this statement. Yeah it is getting very intense. I wish i could write like you. All I can write are paragraphs of lore, I can't make novels. I can make history books but I cannot make character's or pllots. Yeah you have quite an amazing skill which alot of people like me would kill for.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/17 15:14:20


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian Command wrote:
IceAngel wrote:
Finch Claw wrote:Hey pal, I'm back. So... Much... Reading... Your stuff is really great, I might even say *addictive*. Haven't finished it all yet :( , although I will. Keep up the AWESOME story.


welcome back! Good luck getting through everything. lol The story is getting quite expansive.


I agree with this statement. Yeah it is getting very intense. I wish i could write like you. All I can write are paragraphs of lore, I can't make novels. I can make history books but I cannot make character's or pllots. Yeah you have quite an amazing skill which alot of people like me would kill for.


thanks man! Keep at it Asherian, if you can do paragraphs of lore you're not to far from having a novel. The biggest key, just like painting, is to keep doing it and get some feedback from your peers. Thats why I enjoy writing on dakka, I get good critiques and good ideas on how to improve.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/18 04:05:50


Post by: whalemusic360


Just made it through both of the new parts, and they are great! Loving the plot twists.

If someone from BL gets this, your gettin a new side job I think. Better then some of the fools they have now.

In your appendix, these need to be formatted correctly:
Gilgam Heavy bolter
Ishtin Heavy bolter

Just need the : really. I'd run through it again an make sure all the name: information is good. Consistency makes it look purdy.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/18 04:16:09


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:Just made it through both of the new parts, and they are great! Loving the plot twists.

If someone from BL gets this, your gettin a new side job I think. Better then some of the fools they have now.

In your appendix, these need to be formatted correctly:
Gilgam Heavy bolter
Ishtin Heavy bolter

Just need the : really. I'd run through it again an make sure all the name: information is good. Consistency makes it look purdy.


Fixed! Thanks for spotting that one.

For those who want to see the updated appendix.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/264756.page

If there are any BL employees reading this, I am looking for a side job, lol.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/18 14:19:43


Post by: Gitsplitta


The appendix looks good Ice. Very helpful in keeping everyone & everything straightened out.

I've had a bunch of deadlines that are coming due today at work, will work on your background info after that.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/19 01:24:18


Post by: Asherian Command


Well if you don't mind me asking. I am writing some chapters (At least 12 Chapters at once?) for some friends and I was wondering if I could use your Chapter the Ice Angels To come in with the Dusk Guard and The Wanderers Chapters to Exterimate an entire chapter. Don't worry Your chapter only had a single company and they only lost like a 2 tactical squads, and this was like 200 years ago? And the Dusk Guard did most of the work as they supplied a massive fleet.
I'm just checking so I don't post stuff you do not want to be posted.
Either that Or I could change it to another chapter if you don't want your chapter to be used by other users like me. (I worked on it all of today writing a story for the Dusk Guard, ugh it takes too long. And I have to buy the battle force just so I can build a army suitable for all my friends to play each chapter.)


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/19 01:39:03


Post by: azrael8


Dude, you just keep getting better and better! This is awesome fiction. Like Dakka drugs...


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/19 02:36:52


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian Command wrote:Well if you don't mind me asking. I am writing some chapters (At least 12 Chapters at once?) for some friends and I was wondering if I could use your Chapter the Ice Angels To come in with the Dusk Guard and The Wanderers Chapters to Exterimate an entire chapter. Don't worry Your chapter only had a single company and they only lost like a 2 tactical squads, and this was like 200 years ago? And the Dusk Guard did most of the work as they supplied a massive fleet.
I'm just checking so I don't post stuff you do not want to be posted.
Either that Or I could change it to another chapter if you don't want your chapter to be used by other users like me. (I worked on it all of today writing a story for the Dusk Guard, ugh it takes too long. And I have to buy the battle force just so I can build a army suitable for all my friends to play each chapter.)


Sure, I don't see why not.

azrael8 wrote:Dude, you just keep getting better and better! This is awesome fiction. Like Dakka drugs...


Thanks Azrael8! It may be a week or so before I drop the next dose, but I promise it will be a monster.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/19 02:37:42


Post by: Asherian Command


Yeah! *celebrates with kirby*


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/20 08:18:27


Post by: Finch Claw


Okey, just... stop. I seriously think that this is some of the best reading I have ever done. Second only to abnett *winks*. Definitely a huge happy fan. Really want to draw a picture of an Ice angel. Moaaaan... I finally read all of the stuff. Keep it up!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/20 10:34:43


Post by: Finch Claw




I got bored so I drew Captain Razzik.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/20 12:33:49


Post by: Gitsplitta


Heyyy... that's pretty darn good Finch!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/20 13:11:34


Post by: Necroman


Shoot, I can't decide what's better, the fanfiction or the portrait.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/21 03:31:00


Post by: IceAngel


Wow, I have my own fan art! That is awesome!



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/21 03:56:47


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:Wow, I have my own fan art! That is awesome!


:(
Yeah no one wants to draw my chapter. The only chapter that ever gets consist raves are The Wanderers.... ugh. I hate having made that chapter.
Anyway I posted your chapter. And your chapter came in with the Dusk Guard and they basically owned the Wild Cats Chapter
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/322869.page#2043596
Thats where I mention your chapter. So far I have 2 more chapters on the way.
But it is good to see the community loving the Ice Angels!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/21 07:20:01


Post by: Finch Claw


Me+Gitsplitta= Community. No, no just joking.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 17:13:37


Post by: IceAngel


Miqit leaned forward placing both of his hands on the cold stone table, “Do you think it’s true?” He looked to each marine in turn.

“I don’t want to believe him,” Cyaxeres stated,” but he is not lying.”
The old Ice Angel Chaplain rubbed the stubble on his weathered face. “Only the Emperor knows for sure. The question is, how shall we treat this knowledge?”

“His story hasn’t changed in the two weeks we’ve been talking either. I would have to agree with Cyaxeres.” Miqit added.

“According to the records, at least the little bit that I could find, the Emperor’s Tears were in that system and the dates he said are correct. Vetov was in command of the surviving astartes.” Philosir looked up from the screen built into the table in front of him. “The Chapter was deemed destroyed after a dark eldar raid above an isolated planet, Hexlein IV.”

Captain Razzik was leaning back in his tall chair, deep in thought. “So his side of the story lines up?”

Both Cyaxeres and Philosir nodded their heads in agreement. “All except the betrayal and getting set up by a high ranking officer of the Imperium.” Miqit added before sitting back with disgust. Cyaxeres stood up and began to pace the length of the small conference room. “If this betrayal is true then we MUST, purge this heretic! Who would DARE betray one of the Emperors finest? By the Emperor’s light we will stri…”

Razzik held up his hand to stop the Chaplain from getting carried away in one of his zealous speeches. “I agree Cyaxeres, but we must tread lightly. We have no proof other then this tortured marines word.” Razzik took a deep breath and began to stare out into the distance. ”Tomorrow we arrive at High Command. We will follow protocol and file our report. The last thing we want to do is upset the Imperial High Command, especially with our history.”

The Captain got up from his chair and looked to the Techpriest. “Philosir keep looking into this. I want as much information as you can give me.” Looking around the room Razzik continued, “After we’re done with High Command and we make it to Shattermantle we will review everything and take it to Master Daggon.”

The three marines all nodded at their Captain and began to file out. When the door finally closed Captain Razzik sat back down at the table. Finally alone he held his head in his hands. He was already dreading the next few days. Tactical decisions on a battlefield were simple, but dealing with the politics and the bureaucracy of high command was a whole other art of war.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 17:14:02


Post by: IceAngel


Space is often described as cold or dark, some even describe it as a vast field of nothingness. When the Frozen Rage and the Polar Kraken came out of the warp, none of those words came to mind. Before them was a near endless field of vessels. Space itself seemed to be glowing with a warm amber tone like the horizon behind a setting sun.

The Vezda System was only three planets circling around a relatively new vibrant sun. The planets were originally not attractive nor did they have a booming population, however they were discovered to be rich in raw materials that the Mechanicum coveted. Now all three planets were veritable factories churning out everything the Imperium needs to conquer the stars. Above the planets were gigantic space stations which were now full from the armies that were preparing to push back the Ork Waaagh that had threatened dozens of nearby systems.

The moment that the two space marine vessels reentered real space they were hailed. Identification was quadruple checked before they could move past the spherical picket line towards the inner planet. They passed ships of all sizes and categories before they arrived at their set high anchor position. Once set into position they took a shuttle over to another ship, the Emperor’s Path.

The space directly around High Command was considered a no fly zone, only designated ships could dock with the massive station or even approach. The Emperor’s Path along with several others were small runners that passed through the fleet transporting people and information to high command and back. After nearly a full day of travel, the Ice Angels and Space Wolves arrived at the High Command space station, the Iron Torch. When the Emperor’s Path finally docked with the Iron Torch, the two units were told to wait until their escorts arrived.

“This war would have been over a long time ago if all of these ships weren’t stuck in this TRAFFIC JAM!” a Space Wolf by the name of Valsen Arrowbrow said while pacing around the room. Of the four wolves with Andvett, Valsen was the most outspoken. Andvett merely laughed at the comment, even though everyone in the room agreed.

Throughout their trip Miqit had observed the Space Wolves, listened to their conversations, but as they retold their stories of battles he constantly wondered how much more effective they would be if they used better tactics, or tried wearing helmets. Per Ice Angel tradition they wore their helmets at all times, except on their own vessels.

Shaking his head Miqit looked around the room, Philosir and Razzik were in the corner discussing something over a datapad. Cyaxeres was sitting next to Vetov who was wearing a heavy robe quartered in blue and black, his chapter’s colors. Finally Miqit looked directly across the isle from him at Muttabriqu and Sergeant Pyrox. Pyrox was wearing a suit of power armor dulled to a matte gray. His right shoulder pad and both feet had orange flames painted on. What stood out though was his helmet. With Philosir’s assistance he had adjusted a tech priest helmet so that the mouth guard opened like a double door, while keeping his nose and eyes covered. It was currently closed and had he not seen him put it on, he wouldn’t have been able to notice the hinge design but the helmet stood out against the bland gray armor. Miqit once again looked to his captain, he could almost make out their hushed tone, but the space wolves were telling some story about heretics and making a lot of noise.

Finally the door opened and several members of the Imperial Navy entered along with security servitors. A woman with a cunning look and a blonde top knot lead the entourage. The Space Wolves along with the Ice Angels stopped their chatter. She seemed to give everyone a look of dissatisfaction before she spoke, “Welcome to the Iron Torch. Please follow me.” Before waiting for any response she turned and quickly walked out, the other Imperial Navy personal gave her plenty of room. Valsen began to say something but was stopped by a look from Andvett, the Space Wolves got up and began to file out. The Ice Angels were right behind.

After exiting the Emperor’s Path, the two units were sent to separate conference rooms, but before they split Andvett came up to Razzik and shook his hand. Andvett leaned in and whispered so only Razzik could hear, “I smell it too” was all he said.

Razzik looked up into the eyes of the venerable Space Wolf, his eyes spoke of honor and understanding. Razzik gave a slight nod. A grin crossed Andvetts weathered face. He let out a chuckle that sounded like a cave in and walked away with his entourage.

The stern woman lead the Ice Angels down several more hallways before they reached an elevator that could move a thunderhawk if necessary. They walked for several more hours before finally reaching their conference room. The room was actually a suite that could hold a large number of guests. The five room suite was now empty except for them.

One of the naval servitors that had accompanied them walked up to the stern woman and handed her a recently printed message. She read it before handing it back to the mostly mechanical being. “Captain Razzik, do you have your report? High Command would like to review it before they see you.” She held out her hand in anticipation.

Razzik strode forward and looked down at the woman. She was tall for a human, but looked miniscule next to the fully armored space marine. He gently placed a datapad in her hand. “How long will we be waiting?”

She took the pad and immediately handed it to another servitor. She turned and began to walk away and at the door she paused, “As long as High Command needs you here Captain.” The door slid shut behind the naval group after they exited.

“I’ve been tortured by nicer women then that one.” Pyrox said in his deep raspy voice.

Muttabriqu gave a hand signal to Miqit and the two of them searched the suite. Cyaxeres sat with Vetov and Pyrox in a lounge area. Philosir went to one of the desks along the back wall and began to plug into the Iron Torch’s systems. Razzik stood by the door, something was bothering him, but he couldn’t pick it out.

Eventually Razzik sat down next to Cyaxeres, who was asking Pyrox questions about the Fire Angel combat doctrine. After several minutes Razzik spoke. “When the Wolves left to head to their room, did any security personal accompany them?”

Pyrox, Cyaxeres, and Vetov looked at him before Vetov spoke, “No, only a guide went with the wolves.”

“Captain, may I have a word?” Philosir said from his desk. Razzik gave Cyaxeres a look before moving. Cyaxeres simply tilted his skull helmet.

Razzik quickly got up and moved over to Philosir and his metal desk. “After reviewing all of the reports on Hexlein IV and the final battles of the Emperor’s Tears, I’ve noticed that after their supposed destruction, there isn’t a single dark eldar sighting. This supposed raid destroys the remnants of the chapter and then the dark eldar force simply vanishes.”

Philosir taps his datapad and hands it to Razzik. “The most peculiar thing is that the commander, named Dessecrav, filed the report on the Emperor’s Tears seven days after his own death. Commander Dessecrav was killed by a Tyranid Fleet in a different sector. He has no history of ever being near Hexlein IV.”

After this mental bombshell dropped, long discussions were had between Vetov and the Ice Angels. Hours passed before they finally had a visitor. A male naval officer entered the suite. He looked young to be an officer but his eyes spoke of experience. After entering he paused and made the sign of the aquila to the marines. They responded in kind before Captain Razzik stepped up towards the officer.

“Captain Razzik?”
“I am Captain Razzik,” he responded.

The naval officer handed him a rolled document sealed with the stylized I of the Inquisition. Razzik broke the seal and read the document. He looked at the officer before turning to the remaining marines in the suite. “Pyrox and Vetov, it appears the Inquisition is ready to speak with you.”

Pyrox and Vetov stood up and went towards the door. As they exited they saw nearly two dozen Inquisitorial Storm Troopers waiting to escort them through the Iron Torch. As the two marines left, the door once again closed. Razzik turned towards his brethren. “The Council begins at 0900 tomorrow.”



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 17:14:20


Post by: IceAngel


The following day the council began promptly at 0900. The Council chamber was a huge bowled arena, capable of holding thousands of people. The center was a reinforced dais that had a nearly visible void shield protecting the members in side. All around the arena were small groups of Imperial Commanders and Leaders, each protected by its own field. The Ice Angels had their own small bubble and in it was also a screen of the center dais. Around the arena could also be seen other Space Marine Chapters. Space Wolves, Blood Angels, Dark Angels, Mantis Warriors, marines in every color imaginable could be seen, all in their own protected bubbles. In between each bubble and by all of the entrances were Guards. Cherubs flew like carrion feeders along with servo skulls and the entire arena had a constant electrical hum.

The morning meeting started out with introductions of the High Command. After several hours of long introductions, the state of the sector speech was given by Lord Kilroy DuFray. Lord DuFray was known for his rousing speeches and this state of the sector speech was one of his finest. As he finished the entire arena was on its feet, roaring with approval and shouting death threats to the orks.

As the roar died down Lord DuFray stepped aside and saluted Lord Byron Kroppe. Lord Kroppe was a brilliant commander and tactician and what little words he spoke seemed to carry the weight of the Imperium with them. Without going into great details he explained the movements of the newest crusades to destroy Waaaagh Gazzbat and his warlords Gitsplitta, Phungunz, and Redface. Thirteen Crusader fleets were being deployed to push back and annihilate the Orks. Lord Kroppe emphasized the importance of each fleet and the importance of faith in the Emperor before giving the sign of the aquila to the arena.

After he finished he took his seat to let an ancient servitor approach the lectern. The scribe hobbled up to the lectern and began to read out loud each crusader fleets manifest. As each ship or commander was named their orders would be sent to their bubble via a cherub or servo skull. The scribe relentlessly read off names. The small ancient figure did not error and did not react to any sound the crowd made. Eventually even the Ice Angels began to quietly talk amongst themselves, unable to stand the drone of the scribe.

Refreshments began to circulate through the protected bubbles, hours passed and the scribe continued. Eventually the scribe finished and hobbled back to its seat behind High Command. Lord Kroppe stood back up and approached the lectern one final time.

He stood at the lectern and looked out at the crowd. The low murmur of small talk died down and silence crept through the arena like a morning fog. He held onto the lectern with both hands before speaking to the Imperials before him.

“Before you are dismissed to begin the Emperor’s work, “he paused and looked around once again, “we have a message from the Inquisition Ordo Xenos.”

Lord Kroppe sighed and went back to his seat. As he did the floor in front of the central dais opened up. Slowly another force bubble rose from the ground. Cherubs and servo skulls swooped in. Pic screens all over the arena now zoomed in on the new arrivals.

Inside the force bubble was a tall stern woman with a blonde top knot; she wore a suit of tight golden armor and a red cloak with the stylized I of the Inquisition. Around the perimeter of the bubble were various kinds of guards and death cult assassins. Directly next to her were two large space marines, Pyrox in his gray armor holding his helmet and Vetov in his robe. They appeared emotionless and unharmed.

“Is that the officer that escorted us to our room?” Miqit asked. Before anyone could answer she spoke.

“I am Inquisitor Vervin of the Ordo Xenos and as our Lord Commanders have explained, the end of the orks is approaching. The Emperor lights our path and the destruction of the simple mindless orks, is in sight.” She looked around at the approving nods in the arena. “HOWEVER!” she shouted. Her stern look seemed to amplify as she peered around the room. “These simple orks may be hiding a darker secret.” She whispered.

She turned and walked up to Pyrox who continued to look out over her head. She quickly spun around and looked towards the Space Wolves, “One of our smaller fleets recently cleansed a system of orks with the help of Andvett Rockstorm and his Space Wolves. As the orks attempted to flee, another chapter worked on cleansing the rokks in space.” With venom in her voice she continued, “The Ice Angels cleansed two of the rokks and in both. They found astartes prisoners!” The room gasped at the thought of any of the Emperors finest being taken prisoner.

She let the thought settle for a moment before she turned back to Pyrox, “Sergeant Pyrox can you explain how you were captured?”

He continued to stare but spoke, “I was captured by Dark Eldar years ago” The room gasped again.

She threw her arms into the air and shouted “HOW, were you captured?”

His stare traveled down and looked at Inquisitor Vervin before speaking in his raspy voice. “The Dark Eldar used a kind of toxin to temporarily disable my men before using some device to send us into a controlled coma.” The noise level in the room continued to rise before Inquisitor Vervin silenced it with another one of her looks.

“Do you know how these devices work, Sergeant Pyrox?”

“I know how they function, but...”

“Could you make one?” she interrupted

“No.”

She glared at the branded marine, “Do you have one?”

“No.”

She sharply turned to Vetov, “Commander Vetov of the Emperor’s Tears, how did the Ice Angels revive you after they found you?”

Vetov took a deep breath before speaking, “They used one of the Dark Eldar devices to…”

“HERESY!” she shouted. “Using xenos technology,” she shook her head. With another glare she looked out into the arena at the Ice Angel bubble. As she did several servo skulls hovered over head and soon all of the pic screens had both the Inquisitor and the Ice Angels on it.

“Captain Razzik, what happened to the rokk in which you found Commander Vetov?”

Captain Razzik took a glimpse at Cyaxeres before responding. “We destroyed it.”

“AND what happened to the rokk that you found Sergeant Pyrox on?”

“We destroyed it,” he said once again.

“AND where is this device that you used to resuscitate Commander Vetov?” she said with more venom in her words.

Captain Razzik took a deep breath as he began to see where this was leading, “On our ship.” The crowd resumed the murmers and the shouts. A vile smile crossed the Inquisitors face as she pulled out a datapad.

“USING xenos technology is a major offense to the Imperium of Mankind, Captain. HARBORING xenos technology is a major offense to the Imperium of Mankind, Captain. Leaving out important details in reports to High Command is a major offense to the Imperium of Mankind, CAPTAIN!” she shouted before throwing the datapad onto the metal floor of her bubble.

The room was now buzzing, several people shouting Heresy at the Ice Angels. Captain Razzik was full of inner turmoil but his face was perfectly calm. He stared down at the Inquisitor hoping the Emperor would smite her.

She pointed around the room, “As you all know, xenos technology is to be brought to the Inquisition! Xenos technology can corrupt. Xenos technology can infect. Xenos technology is a danger to the Imperium if not handled properly.” She pointed to Captain Razzik, “Are you a member of the Inquisition?”

Razzik paused, “No, but it was the only…”

She threw up her arms once again, “Irrelevant! You have acted not once but three times against the Imperium of Mankind.” She turned towards the central dais and exclaimed, “I demand the faith of these men be tested. Clearly they have forgotten our ways and must redeem themselves in the eyes of the Emperor.”

The room exploded with words, some shouting heresy, others shouting how ridiculous the entire situation was. Captain Razzik simply shook his head at the audacity of this Inquisitor to question his faith in the Emperor. Thoughts of crushing her under his powerfist briefly crossed his mind before he once again focused on staying calm.

Lord Kroppe pounded his desk with a marble gavel. The room quickly quieted down. While rubbing the bridge of his nose Lord Kroppe spoke to the Inquisitor. “What task does the Inquisition impose on Captain Razzik and his force?”

With a wicked grin she looked across the crowd, “According to the Ice Angels the Dark Eldar are working within the orks, I request that as a matter of faith, they immediately travel to the Kota system and find us proof!” This time the noise was deafening.

The Kota system was the first to be taken over by Waaagh Gazbat and is now believed to be the stronghold of the ork warlord. She had just sentenced the Ice Angels on a suicide mission.

Lord Kroppe nearly broke his gavel trying to silence the room once again. With a look of dissatisfaction he declared that the Ice Angels must go to the Kota system and bring back proof of the Dark Eldar working with the Orks. Before any other shouts or responses could be made he stood up and declared that the fleets move out according to their commands. He dismissed everyone, made the sign of the aquila, and then High Command retreated.

Captain Razzik stood staring down at the force bubble the Inquisitor was on. The bubble slowly descended back into the floor. He continued to stare, none of the Ice Angels spoke. A servo skull floated up and passed through a special opening in the shield. A message pad was in its miniscule mechanical claws. Cyaxeres intercepted the skull and read the message.

He looked at the Captain who was still staring before he read it again. He handed the pad to Muttabriqu and stepped towards Razzik.

“Captain, apparently this meeting isn’t over. Inquisitor Vervin demands our presence in Hanger 311 before we depart.” The Captain simply nodded and quickly left the bubble. Another armed escort was waiting for them, but the officer simply lead them to the hanger, not saying a single word.

Even through his helmet everyone they passed felt the anger that Captain Razzik was bottling up. The air around him seemed to ripple with rage. As the Ice Angels strode through the halls everyone moved out of their way. Commanders and Inquisitorial units stepped aside.

Hanger 311 was one of the larger hangers on the Iron Torch. Ships of all kinds were powering up and leaving the Iron Torch now that the council was over. The Ice Angels were led to a wide platform that stretched out into the hanger. A small cargo vessel was at the end of the platform. At the base of the platform was Inquisitor Vervin, her guards and several units of Inquisitorial Storm Troopers. Next to the troopers were a handful of Space Marines, each in different colored armor.

The naval security stepped to the side as the Ice Angels reached the platform. Without thinking Razziks powerfist began to crackle with destructive energy. The troopers tightened their grips on their weapons. The Inquisitor simply smiled and approached the Captain.

“Captain Razzik, only the Emperor will know if what you said is true and only the Emperor will know if you will be successful.” The Inquisitor began to speak up as more Imperial Commanders and Astartes began to gather behind the Ice Angels to hear her words. “Find us proof of the Dark Eldar in the Kota system.”
Through gritted teeth Razzik spoke, “I will Inquisitor.”

She waived her hands over to a handful of marines, “These marines have volunteered to go with you and will vouche that what you say is true.”

At that Captain Razzik took pause and looked at the assembled marines. There were four marines each from different chapters. According to their looks they didn’t appear to be “volunteers”.

Mumbles could be heard from behind the Ice Angels in the crowd. Inquisitor Vervin clasped her hands behind her back before approaching the four marines. She came up to the first, a green armored Mantis Warrior with intricate designs tattooed around his neck.

“Now these marines are from other forces that have intricate roles to play in this crusade.” She stepped to the next, a white armored marine from the Ski Wardens his grey eyes spoke of inner turmoil.

“Each Chapter has brought a certain number of marines to the cause.” She stepped to the next marine a jet black armored giant from the Sinners Chapter holding a white helmet, his face looked like chiseled marble.

“High Command wouldn’t allow their numbers to shrink due to this test of loyalty.” She stepped towards the last marine, his red armor sparkled and he wore a purple tabard across his chest. He was from the Shadow Sanctus Chapter.

She spun around to face the Angels and the crowd, “So before you leave you will have to supple one of your marines to each of these chapters so that they are still at strength.”

Captain Razzik shook his head in disbelief. Inquisitor Vervin smiled at herself before looking around at the crowd. “I take it there are no questions.” Before any one had time to respond she clapped her hands and the troopers shouldered their weapons. She walked up to Captain Razzik and got within inches of his chest, “The Emperor Protects.” She sneered.

Captain Razzik stiffened up at the comment and the Inquisitor stormed away, the crowd parting to let her through. Captain Razzik didn’t watch as the troopers filed past. As the last few guards left Cyaxeres went over to the four marines to have a chat. A commotion in the crowd made Razzik turn, Andvett was physically moving people and marines out of his way to get to the Ice Angels.

“This is PREPOSTEROUS!” he shouted. “That Inquisitorial bitch doesn’t know what she is talking about. I would’ve ripped off her...” he stopped to face the Ice Angel captain. Knowing that there is nothing that could have been done he cleared his throat. “What can I do to assist you brother?” He bowed his head.

Captain Razzik looked up at the gray armored behemoth form of Andvett Rockstorm. “Andvett, take Captain Ruusa to Shattermantle and tell Master Duggon of what has transpired here.”

Andvett, who knew the importance of this request, puffed his chest, “I give you my word Captain Razzik of the Ice Angels. It will be done.” The two astartes grasped fore arms and shook. Andvett turned and headed towards his transport.

Razzik looked around the dock, a group of marines had gathered around Cyaxeres and the other Ice Angels. He was about to move towards his Chaplain when he noticed further down the dock, Sergeant Pyrox and Commander Vetov were waiting.

Razzik approached the two marines.

“Captain, I apologize for all of this. I didn’t…” Vetov began. Razzik simply lifted his hand. “Do not apologize, you didn’t know and nor did I. The Inquisition has always been suspicious of the Ice Angels due to previous history. I should apologize to you for being the ones to save you.” He gave a feeble smile.

Commander Vetov reached out his one good hand onto Captain Razziks shoulder, “The Emperor works in mysterious ways. Maybe he meant for this to happen.” Captain Razzik looked into Vetovs one good eye before nodding in agreement.

“Captain” Cyaxeres said.

Razzik turned to see a number of marines accompanying the Ice Angel Chaplain. “We have a request.”

A Blood Angel with a yellow helm stepped up next to Cyaxeres. “Captain Razzik, my name is Reven. I do not know what really happened with those prisoners or what happened with the Dark Eldar, but what I DO know is that this Inquisitor has over stepped herself,” the other marines nodded their heads. “No Son of Sanguinius should ever be treated this way. I wish to accompany you on your crusade to the Kota System.”

A Dark Angel named Evrard, a Red Talon named Walters, a Marines Chysemys named Jaska, and a marine from the Sons of Hades named Honored Brother Inigo also requested to join.

Razzik was shocked by what he was seeing. Fellow astartes understood their situation and were willing to go on a suicide mission to show their respect. Razzik accepted their requests and they all departed together to begin their mission to the Kota System.





Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 17:42:48


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Is this Reven pre or post scar?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 17:46:28


Post by: IceAngel


battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Is this Reven pre or post scar?


shhhhhh, you'll ruin the surprise.

PRE


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 17:48:41


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


whoops. Well no one will notice


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 18:00:30


Post by: Asherian Command


I really hate that Inquisitor -.-. Very interesting turn of events. Dark Eldar are bastards.
I wonder what would happen if Calnor Alrnia came in with a small fleet? As the grimnar campagin is done D:.
Anyway good job on the ice angels!
Noticed you used Gitsplittas name!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 18:11:31


Post by: Gitsplitta


Great work Ice! I'll get you that background ASAP.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/23 23:29:42


Post by: Asherian Command


Resurrection!
Anyway Ice i was wondering are you using Dark Eldar because of the new codex?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/24 01:51:28


Post by: IceAngel


No, the dark eldar thing has been in the story well before I knew of the new codex.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/25 11:09:19


Post by: Finch Claw


I thought it was really cool of you to mention Gitslpitta and Have the mantis warriors and the GMS guys join. You've made me want to type a short story for the chapter I made up


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/25 14:30:42


Post by: IceAngel


Finch Claw wrote:I thought it was really cool of you to mention Gitslpitta and Have the mantis warriors and the GMS guys join. You've made me want to type a short story for the chapter I made up


Write it up Finch! I love the fluff and the background info that GW has given us there's no reason not to add your own flavor. If you need any help shoot me a PM.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/26 07:22:26


Post by: Finch Claw


I thought of the start of the story but then nothing else. I'll make it up as I go along.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/26 21:40:50


Post by: IceAngel


The entire Ice Angel force had assembled in the hanger. They stood with their units, helmets on, banners fluttering in the artificial wind. They formed a half moon surrounding a single Thunderhawk. At the base of the ramp were nine Ice Angels facing the black armored force.

In the center of the formation were Razzik, Cyaxeres, Attikusu, Philosir and Frakatuzuli in his furiouso pattern dreadnought suit. Cyaxeres finished giving his blessings when the entire force saluted the marines. A single loud *chink* echoed through the hanger before Razzik dropped the salute and everyone followed suit.

Without another word the nine marines turned and boarded the Thunderhawk. Razzik wondered if he would ever see any of them again. As the rear boarding plank retracted and began to close, Razzik for the hundredth time, thought about his choice to send those marines to the other chapters. His thoughts began to wander to the Inquisitor, the vile woman that forced this upon him. His thoughts began to turn dark before a familiar sound brought him back.

With a deep rumble the engines fired up on the Thunderhawk and it began to hover in its spot. With minimal effort it slowly pivoted and glided out of the hanger. As it did, Cyaxeres spoke the names quietly to himself, only those in the command line could hear him.

“Kadakrazz, T’Qwaba, Ruqum, Dtril, Utaan, Fwuapuu, Shu-Turul, Tani, and Deemethresi. May the Emperor protect you and may you continue to honor us with your actions.” He bowed his head and gave the sign of the aquila.

As he finished a dull gray Thunderhawk crossed the hanger and landed before them. As it sat down on its feet the rear hatch opened. Andvett, in all his pelts and teeth, began to walk down the plank before it had even fully hit the deck. Behind him was his command retinue. He wore a grin that unsettled Razzik.

Andvett stepped in front of Razzik and his retinue formed a double line behind him. He looked around at the assembled force and at the command. His smile seemed to widen at the sight.

“ICE ANGELS! I will not lie! I envy the battle that you will soon see! I envy the blood that you will spill in the name of the Emperor!” His eyes shined with a brilliance that seemed to lift the spirits of the marines in the room. He paused and looked directly at Razzik, with a lower voice he added. “But I do not envy the reason that you will be in this battle.” He paused again and looked over to Frakatuzuli. “So I will make you all deal. MURDER, MAIM, and KILL not out of hatred for this Inquisitor but for the fact that that is WHAT WE DO and I will make sure the Imperium will know the Ice Angels that I’ve been honored to fight next to.”

The room erupted with cheers. The thunderous roar made the old wolf smile from ear to ear. Andvett stepped closer to Razzik and spoke once again, “If you fight for the right reason Captain Razzik, then the Allfather may have a plan for you after all.”

Razzik thought about those words before he reached up and took off his helmet. He looked up at Andvett with his golden eyes, “You are a true leader Andvett Rockstorm and a true friend. I am glad that you are the one bearing Captain Ruusa back to Shattermantle.” Andvett puffed his chest at the complement.

“We shall meet again Captain, either here or at the Emperors side,” he saluted the Ice Angels and the entire force returned the gesture.

After the salute the Space Wolves formed a corridor to the Thunderhawk, Brother Frakatuzuli approached with a floating sarcophagus bearing Captain Ruusa. The ancient dreadnought slowly marched up the plank and at the top turned to regard the Ice Angel force. The soft blue glow brightened for a moment before the dreadnought resumed his march. A small train of containers moved through the Ice Angel force up into the Thunderhawk bearing the bodies of other Ice Angels and the famous Anchor.

As the last container entered the Thunderhawk the Space Wolves turned and boarded their vessel. Andvett Rockstorm was the last to board before the plank retracted and the door closed. Without further ceremony the hawk lifted off and left.

As it exited the barrier a small bizarre raven entered. The moment it entered the hanger several internal gun batteries activated and tracked it through the hanger. The vessel was painted in a quartered yellow and pink. As the vessel began to land in front Razzik and his retinue, he received reports in regards to an unauthorized vessel entering the hanger.

Razzik put his helmet on and approached the vessel. It was a unique raven design that could only hold a handful of passengers. It had a unique design that the captain didn’t recognize. As he approached the side door opened and a cloaked space marine exited. The marine wore armor that was quartered in yellow and pink. His skull helmet was similar to a chaplain’s but didn’t look as fearsome. A storm bolter hung on a strap under his arm and his pink powerfist sparkled in the artificial light.

The marine paused a few steps away from Captain Razzik and removed his helmet. His jovial look took many of the marine by surprise. “Greetings Captain, my name is Aquilum and I heard you’re going on a suicide mission.”

Razzik looked back to his command before responding, “We’re going to the Kota system, only the Emperor knows if it will be suicide or not.”

“Well, I do hope it is.”

Razzik gave a puzzled look before Aquilum continued, “I will be joining you of course. It sounds like you’ll be in need of me.”

“What need would that be?” Razzik asked.

“I’ll be the entertainment!” he responded with a flamboyant bow.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/26 22:00:20


Post by: Gitsplitta


I like where this is going...

Very well written Ice.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/27 07:13:19


Post by: Finch Claw


Joker marines... The new chapter..


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/27 12:23:24


Post by: Gitsplitta


Here is the back-story for Srgt. Inushi, the Mantis Warrior in Ice's story:
The Iron Torch Incident
Thank you Ice for providing some ideas that proved to be the inspiration that got me through some serious writers block. I hope my tale is a worthy compliment to yours.

Gits


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/27 14:47:32


Post by: Asherian Command


Nice job!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/27 14:52:32


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:Here is the back-story for Srgt. Inushi, the Mantis Warrior in Ice's story:
The Iron Torch Incident
Thank you Ice for providing some ideas that proved to be the inspiration that got me through some serious writers block. I hope my tale is a worthy compliment to yours.

Gits


Absolutely Git! I think you did a fantastic job setting the scene with Inushi and I hope you write more in the future.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/27 17:35:11


Post by: Gitsplitta


Writing is hard. Not saying I won't ever do it again... but I think I'll leave most of the literary exposition to those, like you, who excel at it.

:-)

Interesting though that now I've written about her... I have my own ideas about the inquisitor, her motivations, what's going on behind the scenes, etc. I will be very, very interested to see how the story unfolds and what you do with her character.



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 00:17:01


Post by: Sageheart


IceAngel wrote:T

“Now these marines are from other forces that have intricate roles to play in this crusade.” She stepped to the next, a yellow armored marine from the Sons of Luther his long golden hair cascading over his chest.



YAY my marine!!

this is great fluff, i'll be keeping tabs, i have only read the first bit and the last bit but will be looking into it all!
are you including your games into this fluff?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 00:24:44


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Well Ice, since you are going to be righting about Reven's...
Spoiler:
scarring
I guess I can't offer you a back story.
I will however write a small story of Deemethresi's adventures with the other marines I have received from the GMS.
The reason they will all be together might be kinda corny, just warning you


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 00:46:24


Post by: Asherian Command


funny. Why does everyone always use the Dark Angels? Or is it because no one likes using my chapter in their stories. O.o
Anyway. I just read through all the lore. Nice job.
I have started writing myself. Except it is after the Death of the Emperor.
I also want to Ask Ice Angel... I thought you couldn't use astrates from other chapters!?!??! Anyway good luck.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 03:15:44


Post by: Gitsplitta


I referenced the Dark Angles as a nod to fellow dakkite Arakasi who has an ork warband called "Da Dark Angelz" who pattern themselves after Dark Angels space marines. The reference just fit too cleanly into my story line to pass up. There are also subtle references to my profession and one of my favorite bands. That's the nice thing about being the author... you can sneak all of this stuff into your work that no one would ever figure out & then snicker about it when your staring into your computer monitor late at night.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 15:56:25


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:That's the nice thing about being the author... you can sneak all of this stuff into your work that no one would ever figure out & then snicker about it when your staring into your computer monitor late at night.


Absolutely!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 18:15:03


Post by: jimmy72nd


Hey Ice_Angel,

Gitz told me your stuff was good but i had to see for myself, and he was 100% spot on, its amazing stuff, BL standard..

Would you mind reviewing a little bit of fluff i've wrote for my chapter, its not much but would love your thoughts and ideas..

Jim.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/28 20:11:43


Post by: IceAngel


jimmy72nd wrote:Hey Ice_Angel,

Gitz told me your stuff was good but i had to see for myself, and he was 100% spot on, its amazing stuff, BL standard..

Would you mind reviewing a little bit of fluff i've wrote for my chapter, its not much but would love your thoughts and ideas..

Jim.


I am glad you enjoy it! More is still yet to come.

Sure, send me a PM or a link and I'll most definitely take a look at it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/29 22:25:51


Post by: Sageheart


I made fluff for my marine for Ice Angel (copying you Git!) and its on my newly made fluff for my newest chapter. The fluff for iceangel is at the bottom of the first post! its here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/325218.page#2069898.


hope you guys like!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/31 14:19:39


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


While messing around, I made myself an objective marker and I decided to paint it up as an Ice Angels marker



The banner still looks a little empty. Any ideas for something to add?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/31 16:42:11


Post by: Asherian Command


The Gods of Moar are not satisfied!
Anyway I sat down and started writing some-stuff down and the Dusk Guard keep coming to my mind as a potential force that could be in this campaign as they are no longer concentrated in the Ghoul Stars as they are spread across the galaxy.
the marker is awesome XD. Reminds me of some of my markers.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/31 16:43:23


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Ice, if you like the look of the marker, I could make you one


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/31 17:14:21


Post by: IceAngel


battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Ice, if you like the look of the marker, I could make you one


The marker turned out great Lucifer. Nice job on the Ice Angel Chapter Symbol.

I would love to have a marker! I should show you some of my old objective markers. They need to be updated, lol.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/10/31 17:31:53


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


I'll do a helmet, and flag, and something else that looks cool with it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 01:56:10


Post by: Gitsplitta


Great job on the marker BBL, really spiff!

Happy Halloween everyone!



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 02:03:43


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Thanks Gits
If I have spare time and parts, I may even make you one
[Edit] So I don't derail the thread, can't wait for the next update Ice


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 04:33:57


Post by: Gitsplitta


That would be sweetness itself BBL... thanks!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 17:00:52


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Well I have now caught up with the narrative thus far and am pleased to say that I enjoyed it immensely. It had none of the flow breaking perspective changes of installments past, and was quite gripping/compelling.

I am curious to see how all the GMS marines will fit into the story, 9 more characters with hard to pronounce names and as yet undefined personalities, Oh my!

Over the winter holidays I hope to be able to add one more to their number if you'll have him.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 22:54:41


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:Well I have now caught up with the narrative thus far and am pleased to say that I enjoyed it immensely. It had none of the flow breaking perspective changes of installments past, and was quite gripping/compelling.

I am curious to see how all the GMS marines will fit into the story, 9 more characters with hard to pronounce names and as yet undefined personalities, Oh my!

Over the winter holidays I hope to be able to add one more to their number if you'll have him.


I'm glad you enjoyed it Ma55ter_fett. I would be honored to have one of your marines. I won't be adding any more GMS marines to my story for probably a long time, but when winter rolls around send me a PM and we can work out the details at least for the swap. I am not sure if you've seen the appendix on page 1 yet, but one of the things I plan on adding is going to be a pronunciation guide, lol.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 23:18:02


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


IceAngel wrote:
Ma55ter_fett wrote:Well I have now caught up with the narrative thus far and am pleased to say that I enjoyed it immensely. It had none of the flow breaking perspective changes of installments past, and was quite gripping/compelling.

I am curious to see how all the GMS marines will fit into the story, 9 more characters with hard to pronounce names and as yet undefined personalities, Oh my!

Over the winter holidays I hope to be able to add one more to their number if you'll have him.


I'm glad you enjoyed it Ma55ter_fett. I would be honored to have one of your marines. I won't be adding any more GMS marines to my story for probably a long time, but when winter rolls around send me a PM and we can work out the details at least for the swap. I am not sure if you've seen the appendix on page 1 yet, but one of the things I plan on adding is going to be a pronunciation guide, lol.


To be honest I would be quite concerned if you added yet another character, too many backstories to keep track of.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/01 23:43:36


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:
Ma55ter_fett wrote:Well I have now caught up with the narrative thus far and am pleased to say that I enjoyed it immensely. It had none of the flow breaking perspective changes of installments past, and was quite gripping/compelling.

I am curious to see how all the GMS marines will fit into the story, 9 more characters with hard to pronounce names and as yet undefined personalities, Oh my!

Over the winter holidays I hope to be able to add one more to their number if you'll have him.


I'm glad you enjoyed it Ma55ter_fett. I would be honored to have one of your marines. I won't be adding any more GMS marines to my story for probably a long time, but when winter rolls around send me a PM and we can work out the details at least for the swap. I am not sure if you've seen the appendix on page 1 yet, but one of the things I plan on adding is going to be a pronunciation guide, lol.

Add Librarian Rampel of the Storm Crusaders! As he needs a back story and I cannot think of any for him. Use him wisely. He is good at making shields and he can temporarily boost (uses Might of Heroes) himself with power. And don't worry the Storm Crusaders send their Libarians along with a Stern guard squad but I think he might of separated at some time with them. Just use Brother Librarian Rampel for the time being. He is a codicer.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 01:58:29


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian, I will not be adding any more marines to my story. I have enough to work with and already had plenty of characters to develop. I appreciate you volunteering your marine, but Ma55ter_fett was right, per usual, I don't need any more back stories.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:00:06


Post by: Asherian Command


Ok. i'm fine with that. seems Perfectly reasonable. But the 9 marines are from 9 different chapters thats alot of stuff to work with.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:01:19


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian Command wrote:Ok. i'm fine with that. seems Perfectly reasonable. But the 9 marines are from 9 different chapters thats alot of stuff to work with.


I know! It may be a few to many, but we shall see what happens.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:03:23


Post by: Sageheart


you can do it! just deal with one at a time i guess


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:05:04


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:
Asherian Command wrote:Ok. i'm fine with that. seems Perfectly reasonable. But the 9 marines are from 9 different chapters thats alot of stuff to work with.


I know! It may be a few to many, but we shall see what happens.

Yeah I know what you mean. I am working with 3 chapters. And I have to write A LOT for just the 72 in total marines. 12 terminators, 30 Wanderers, and 30 Emperor's Shields. Yeah my list is full of names and stuff. But I need to write info for each every single marine and a complete back story. I can see where you are coming from.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:14:19


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Sageheart wrote:you can do it! just deal with one at a time i guess


Like in the “Predators” movie, kill them off to avoid having to flesh out their characters

Except you might have nine (ten? the theatrical dude) or so people slightly miffed at you for killing off their marines.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:23:42


Post by: Asherian Command


Ma55ter_fett wrote:

Except you might have nine (ten? the theatrical dude) or so people slightly miffed at you for killing off their marines.

Yeah I am more worried about all the player marines who might want to use these marines in next plot lines. The Codicer I offered already served his purpose he technically is already dead in my lore as he was apparently left to die on planet while a life eater virus ate him alive. But you know thats just my writing.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:36:35


Post by: IceAngel


Cyaxeres stood facing the armor plating that protected his sight from the madness of the warp. Normally the room had windows that allowed you to peer deep into space, but now the armor plates covered every side of the observation deck. The solid gray plates were void of any symbols or art. Nevertheless, he stared at the plates as if they were a puzzle.

Times like these were when chaplains were needed most. On the battlefield his words could stir the minds and hearts of his brethren to amazing feats. His speeches could corral the battle-frenzied Ice Angels who had succumbed to the Black Rage. His visage could strike terror into the hearts of his enemies, but Cyaxeres knew that this quest would be his hardest challenge yet.

Cyaxeres thought of his brethren, of the Ice Angels he had trained and fought alongside. He knew their hearts and their souls, but now as he walked the halls of the Frozen Rage he saw something in his proud warriors that an Astartes should never see…

Doubt.

Doubt had crept into their hearts. The stalwart Ice Angels were still recovering from the loss of Captain Ruusa when this Inquisitor sent them on this suicide mission. From the beginning, Cyaxeres gave his advice and supported his new Captain, trying to raise morale…but something had changed.

The sound of footsteps brought Cyaxeres from his reverie. He turned to see a marine approach, robed in deep red. The robe’s dark green trim lightly brushed the floor as he paused next to the black-robed chaplain. Cyaxeres surveyed the marine, taking measure of him. Brother Jaska was one of the volunteers for their suicide mission. What caught Cyaxeres’ attention was the chapter symbol on the marine’s robe—a swirled pattern on what appeared to be a shell. Cyaxeres had done some research into their guests and the Marines Chrysemys were one of the quietest chapters. Historically they had a long list of honors to their name but other than their documented deeds, no one was sure of their true outlook, opinions, or background.

Without a word Jaska turned towards the armored plating to his left. Cyaxeres turned as well. Deep in thought, Cyaxeres stared at the wall for a long moment. Finally Jaska gathered a breath and his baritone voice broke the silence.

“The Emperor is watching.” He paused and looked at Cyaxeres. “And the Emperor has plans.”

Without another word, Brother Jaska of the Marine Chrysemys turned and slowly walked away. A chill ran down Cyaxeres’ spine.

He agreed with Jaska.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/02 02:48:13


Post by: Asherian Command


Nice!
I love it even though its like 3 paragraphs! it is getting so much better XD


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 00:35:41


Post by: IceAngel



Cautiously he moved through the smoke filled warehouse. Stacked containers were piled floor to ceiling and they formed a virtual maze that he navigated using every sense. Their tactic had been sound, Brother Kvothe swore up and down that this is what Guilliman would do. Never the less they were torn apart, Kvothe, Walters, Reven, and Nefas all lay down in armor lock behind him in the street. But before his teammates had fallen they did manage to take out several enemies.

Now it was up to him to complete the mission. In the dim light and smoke he had done well, taking out two of his targets before they had a chance to respond. That meant only one remained.

He was almost to his target, all he had to do was destroy the altar. He was as silent as he could be. His master, Darius Stone, had taught him well. He knew where to step and how to balance, he was always poised to strike.

At the sound of creaking plastic he spun, bolt pistol raised. There was nothing behind him; he swore he heard a sound next to him though. He scanned ahead and behind him once again before continuing. The smoke in front of him seemed to billow for a moment, he clenched ready to strike, but nothing came.

He crept around the corner into a hallway of crates no wider then his shoulders. At the end of the path was an opening. The smoke was floating just above his head, he crouched slightly and continued to move forward.

Suddenly he began to hear a chuckle. Very soft at first, it sounded as if it was coming from all around him. The chuckle began to get louder and as it did he thought it felt as if it was in front of him.

He quickly moved to the end of the hall way and looked out at the altar, the chuckling stopped. The wooden altar was squat and had bits of wood broken on top. Scattered around the altar were crates. It looked as if the walls of crates had fallen, but the altar still glowed in a soft red light. It appeared to be unguarded, other then the lingering chuckle.

Trapped, it had to be a trapped, he thought. He looked around frantically for a moment before he calmed himself. Maybe they had taken out all five of the enemies. Maybe he was the last man standing. No, it couldn’t be. He mentally shook his head before once again before pushing forward. What had been chuckling?

He took four steps before he heard a whisper. “You’re dead Inushi.”

Inushi fired four rounds into the crate next to him where the sound had come from. A flash blinded him and he dove to his side away from the crate. Relying on his sixth sense he spun about and parried a strike that never came. He spun again then stood motionless trying to listen or smell his opponent. It seemed like eternity before his sight returned, but in the seconds it took he saw a marine now standing tall on the altar.

Aquilum wasn’t wearing a helmet but had his storm bolter leveled at him. Inushi knew he should’ve been dead. Aquilums massive neck seemed to pulse when he heard from a destroyed crate, “Like I said, you’re dead.”

Aquilum then smiled. That was what annoyed him the most about the Emperor’s Fool, that smile. Aquilum’s eyes and even his bald head seemed to smile at him which only annoyed him more. Inushi knew he had been defeated, but just as the thought crossed his mind Aquilum dropped his storm bolter and stood arms wide. Inushi paused in surprise, holstered his bolt pistol, and rushed in at the unarmed marine.

A second before he reached him, Aquilum kicked out a piece of the altar. The wooden shard would have taken him in the helmet had he not tumbled under it. Inushi finished the tumble with a forward jab that should have taken out Aquilums leg, but Aquilums kick had been part of a back flip. He was now standing on the other side of the altar.

Aquilum gave a nod of approval before holding his arms wide once again. Inushi placed one hand on the altar and swung his legs over the flat top just as Aquilum quick stepped up to meet him. As Inushi’s feet hit the ground he swung with his chainsword which was batted aside. Inushi leaned forward and tried to jab at Aquilum’s bare head, Inushi’s surprising speed caught the side of Aquilum’s dome. As Inushi’s hand recoiled for another strike Aquilum stepped back and leapt straight up. Inushi paused at the surprised maneuver and was awarded with a boot to the face. The force of the blow knocked him back onto the altar. Inushi swung with his chainsword trying to keep Aquilum at bay, but Aquilum caught his hand. With his other hand Aquilum pulled out Inushi’s bolt pistol and pressed it against his face.

Another grin crossed Aquilums massive face, “Looks like you’re dead again son.”

Inushi looked hard at the bald marine, “You too old man,” he said as he tapped Aquilum’s bolt pistol on his stomach.

A surprise look crossed Aquilums face before he burst into laughter.

“Why didn’t you shoot me before?” Inushi asked.

Aquilum gave Inushi back his bolt pistol and continued to laugh, “Where’s the fun in that?” His laughing continued as the lights in the warehouse kicked on and the sound of the other marines could be heard near the entrance.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 01:12:36


Post by: Asherian Command


Nice


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 01:46:55


Post by: Gitsplitta


Gave me a smile ear to ear... wish you could see it!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 02:21:09


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


I don't suppose you could upload a group shot of all the marines from the GMS?

I would be interested in seeing them all together and it would be easier than hunting through the GMS thread looking for them all.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 02:46:34


Post by: whalemusic360


Who did the Fool model you got Ice? Its even cooler now


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 02:56:10


Post by: Gitsplitta


I've decided that unless Ice kills 'im off, Inushi is gonna make Chapter Master some day. He's brash, confident, devout, full of P&V and also flawed... which makes him perfect material for a post of near-absolute authority in the 40k universe!

Just imagine what monumental screw-ups he could accomplish in 200-300 years when he assumes control of the (then) fully-re-assimilated chapter.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 02:57:37


Post by: Asherian Command


Gitsplitta wrote:I've decided that unless Ice kills 'im off, Inushi is gonna make Chapter Master some day. He's brash, confident, devout, full of P&V and also flawed... which makes him perfect material for a post of near-absolute authority in the 40k universe!

Just imagine what monumental screw-ups he could accomplish in 200-300 years when he assumes power of the fully-re-assimilated chapter.

Yep. Calnor Alrnia and alot of other chapter masters started out foolish, and inexperinced, and somewhat of a teenager in Marine armor.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 03:02:51


Post by: Gitsplitta


Asherian Command wrote:somewhat of a teenager in Marine armor.

Perfect!

Course, Ice may have other ideas... Inushi is his character now, but that about sums it up so far between my little piece and Ice's current one. Watching him develop and integrate with the Ice Angels and other "displaced" marines is going to be a real treat!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 03:07:09


Post by: whalemusic360


I will be totally cool if my guy gets bushwacked As long as its in a blaze of glory. The fluff I gave IA almost begs for it really.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/03 03:15:03


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian Command wrote:
Gitsplitta wrote:I've decided that unless Ice kills 'im off, Inushi is gonna make Chapter Master some day. He's brash, confident, devout, full of P&V and also flawed... which makes him perfect material for a post of near-absolute authority in the 40k universe!

Just imagine what monumental screw-ups he could accomplish in 200-300 years when he assumes power of the fully-re-assimilated chapter.

Yep. Calnor Alrnia and alot of other chapter masters started out foolish, and inexperinced, and somewhat of a teenager in Marine armor.


Asherian I do appreciate your frequent replies, but if you could. Lets keep your fluff on your thread and mine on my thread so that we can minimize any confusion. If you need any help or have any ideas, please send them to me in a PM. Thanks!

whalemusic360 wrote:I will be totally cool if my guy gets bushwacked As long as its in a blaze of glory. The fluff I gave IA almost begs for it really.


Noted!

Ma55ter_fett wrote:I don't suppose you could upload a group shot of all the marines from the GMS?

I would be interested in seeing them all together and it would be easier than hunting through the GMS thread looking for them all.



Back row from left to right is, Brother Reven, Brother Aquilum, Honored Brother Inigo, and Brother Kvothe. Front row left to right is Brother Jaska, Brother Nefas, Brother Walters, and Brother Evrard.
Here is everyone but Brother Desai and Brother Inushi.

whalemusic360 wrote:Who did the Fool model you got Ice? Its even cooler now


My good buddy Steve made me the Emperor's Fool. I need to take a picture of his terminator unit all painted him in his colors. It is so obnoxious it's cool.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/04 22:44:20


Post by: Sageheart


please do! I would love to see it! i have your marine glued up and primed, its carrying a stormbolter and chainsword!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/05 02:59:33


Post by: IceAngel


As Bel Uri finished his story the room erupted into laughter. Muttabriqu simply shook his head as the memory of him falling into a pit of squig dung was brought to life with Bel Uri’s words. Various shouts of other stories came from the gathered crowd of marines but before he could begin anew, Aquilum got up on the raised corner stage.

Bel Uri motioned to take over the stage, Aquilum gave a short curtsey which made many in the room chuckle. Aquilum looked out over the crowd and made sure to make eye contact with everyone before going into a telling of a battle his chapter was fully committed too. His words painted a picture that soon had many battle brothers fully engrossed in the telling.

Near the back of the hall was a small group of marines, they were sitting and observing the story telling. After a few moments Brother Evrard got up and addressed the small group.

“I grow bored of all of these stories, I am going down to the sparring chambers.” He paused for a minute. None of the other marines at the table made any sort of sound or motion. Brother Evrard huffed and stormed off.

The four other marines watched the Dark Angel leave before Brother Nefas spoke in his thin whisper of a voice, “Wasn’t he there all morning?”

Next to him sat the stout Sons of Hades marine, Honored Brother Inigo. “Yes, I defeated him many times. That may be why he is in such a foul mood.” Honored Brother Inigo stroked his beard before adding, “Or maybe he still hasn’t accepted this situation the Emperor has placed us all in.”

All of the marines at the table nodded their heads. Lost in his own thoughts, Brother Walters began to remember his spur of the moment decision to join the Ice Angels on their quest. “We are all going to die.”

Next to him sat Brother Desai, a handsome marine with slick pulled back hair. He rolled his eyes at the pessimistic comment that Brother Walters made. “We are all going to die Walters, the true questions is how honorable will your death be.” He finally responded.

Walters was giving another one of his foreboding responses when he paused and looked over Desai’s shoulder. The other marines turned and noticed that Commander Vetov had entered the hall and was walking towards them.

For the past few months Commander Vetov had been going under multiple surgeries and augmentations. He now supported a laser eye, a bionic arm, and rebuilt leg. He had been training relentlessly and was once again battle ready.

Vetov walked up to the four marines and paused, he looked at each in turn. Brother Desai nodded towards the empty seat. Vetov sat on the massive chair. A servitor glided by with refreshments.
Desai studied Vetov while they sat in silence. Desai hadn’t been able to chat with him more then simple greetings but he had so many questions to ask. Now that Vetov was next to him he didn’t want to badger him with questions, they seemed so pointless. In the few months Desai had been on the Frozen Rage he had seen from a far the transformation of Vetov. Vetov was both physically and emotionally damaged. The physical aspect was fixed with the amazing skills of Attikusu and his staff, but what Desai had noticed was how Vetov had begun to act. Vetov acted with purpose.

Vetov looked down at his purple drink. “I know some of you volunteered and some of you were chosen for this. Regardless of why you’re here I want to thank you for joining our crusade.” Vetov took a long drink from his glass. The other marines drank as well.

Walters snorted and cocked an eye brow. “You probably wish you were still in the hands of the Dark Eldar. You’d probably live longer.”

Vetov gave Walters a stone cold glare, “I am honored to have been saved by the Ice Angels and in their debt for it. I plan on doing everything in my power to repay that debt.”

“True Astartes should never wish for a life of worthless imprisonment when they could be destroying the enemies of the Emperor, regardless of how long they live.” Desai responded. Vetov nodded his head in agreement.

“I for one hope there are enough Orks for us to kill. I’d hate to get to the Kota System to find them all running from fear of our arrival.” Inigo smiled.

The marines all chuckled at the image while Walters thought about getting trampled by a wave of Orks.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/05 03:22:55


Post by: Sageheart


i like it, and i love seeing how you have my marine acting! great work! really love seeing how these stories evolve.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/05 03:42:12


Post by: Gitsplitta


As always Ice... excellent.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/05 11:56:05


Post by: Asherian Command


Excellent! Love what did with the Dark Angel!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/06 04:28:10


Post by: IceAngel


Thanks guys for all the kind words. I do have a request for all of you avid readers. I truly feel that as I write more, my reason for doing so is because of you guys sending me all the cool PM's and responses. Something that I constantly strive to do is be better at my stories and general writing skills. (I know my grammar still sucks) SO I think it's time for a little audience participation. If you could, please take a minute and do me a favor.

1) Tell me which one scene or post of mine you like the best and why.

2) Tell me one thing you think I need to improve upon, other then general grammar skills. (I need to have my wife edit more)

And PLEASE, if you enjoy reading this tell me what you think.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/06 05:30:09


Post by: Gitsplitta


1. I just loved the idea of these hard-bitten professional super-soldiers sitting around, sharing a drink and a laugh... so not grimdark but also so perfectly human. So the "scene" shined for me this time.

2. I find all those single sentence paragraphs kind of visually distracting and it's easy to lose my place while I'm reading. This has nothing to do with your writing really, it's the way the page formats on my screen. If I shrink the page the sentences look fine. But all those 1 and 2-line sentences back-to-back really does make it rather confusing at screen width.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/06 14:02:49


Post by: Asherian Command


1. I really liked the stories that each marines start telling each other, really shows their brother hood and humanity in them. Saying once again. Space Marines are more human than anything. This is why I like it when people make Astrates more human as you can connect to the characters, each character in the story has a very different feel and different personality which you emblazed upon them which is good.

2. I agree with Gitsplitta on the singe sentence paragraphs. But it maybe just because I am use to seeing paragraphs upon paragraphs of lore on 1 page.

Good Job keep it up!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/07 23:35:58


Post by: IceAngel


As the door closed, the sounds of arguing and bickering vanished. Brother Desai had paused by the door rubbing his temples after the torment of dealing with Brother Kvothe. The Shadow Sanctus marine was apparently a die hard believer in the Codex Astartes and the words of Guilliman. Unfortunately Guilliman didn’t fully elaborate on how to handle searching for Dark Eldar in an Ork infested system. Brother Desai was done listening to the other marines argue over tactics, there weren’t any Ice Angels in the room any ways. Desai shook his head and looked around at the statue filled hall. Art work of all kinds was around him. He wandered down the hall for several minutes admiring the work of the Ice Angels chapter. Near the entrance was a statue of Sanguinius, his wings behind his back, his gaze off in the distance. The sight gave Brother Desai a feeling of pride and a sense of security, knowing that the Ice Angels cared for their Primarch as much as the Sky Warden Chapter did. In Sanguinious’ hands was a gleaming sword that shone like a mirror. Desai looked and saw himself in his red power armor.

Suddenly Brother Desai was aware of how quite the Frozen Rage was. Servitors, naval personal, security, and even other space marines wandered the large Hall Of Heroes, but for Desai he heard nothing. He saw them talking, he knew there should be sounds of feet hitting the floor. Brother Desai took a sudden breath, something wasn’t right. He began to quickly move towards the hall entrance, he began to hear whispering. He stopped and concentrated on the sound, he couldn’t quite make out the words. He hustled towards a door, the hall was suddenly empty of people. The whispering grew louder. Desai pulled out his combat blade from his belt, anger began to fill his heart. Who would dare disrupt this place of peace and beauty?

Brother Desai threw open the door. Inside was a dark horned marine dripping in gore and blood, a dead Blood Angel at his feet. The stench of death assaulted Desai’s senses. The dark marine stopped whispering and looked right up at Desai. With hatred in his eyes the evil marine lifted up his chain axe. Desai lunged forward with his dagger that bit deep into the chest of the marine. However the chain axe continued its trek through the air towards his face.

“DESAI!” A voice shouted.

Brother Desai looked to his right to see Chaplain Cyaxeres looking back with a grim expression on his weathered face. The hall was still full of people, many of which had weapons in their hands. Desai turned back forward to see his dagger deep into an ornate statue. He gasped at what he had done and sank to his knees.

Cyaxeres slowly stepped over to him. With a steady hand he pulled the dagger out of the statue. He then reached down and helped Desai back onto his feet. Cyaxeres peered into Desai’s eyes and handed back his knife.

“I apologize Cyaxeres, I…” Desai began. Cyaxeres simply held up his hand and looked away.
“I think it is time we had a chat, Brother Desai.” Cyaxeres stated before walking away.

Desai followed behind him hanging his head in shame. The pair walked past the statue of Sanguinious and Desai once again peered at the mirrored blade. He saw himself in the blade and noticed he was wearing his Sky Warden white robe once again.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/07 23:37:22


Post by: IceAngel


Originally I was going to wait for a few more responses from the above post, but I wrote his little section and felt like I had to share it with everyone. I hope you enjoy.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/07 23:40:35


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Nice update.
Can't wait to see what becomes all of the GMS marines


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/07 23:47:36


Post by: Gitsplitta


Nice ice, though a bit confusing... I'm not exactly sure what happened.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 00:05:18


Post by: IceAngel


Gitsplitta wrote:Nice ice, though a bit confusing... I'm not exactly sure what happened.


Did any one understand this one or do I need to elaborate or edit some?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 00:43:29


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


IceAngel wrote:
Gitsplitta wrote:Nice ice, though a bit confusing... I'm not exactly sure what happened.


Did any one understand this one or do I need to elaborate or edit some?


I'm guessing that being in such close proximity to images of his Primarch he was assailed with memories of said Primarch’s final moments?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 00:49:19


Post by: Ramos Asura


I do believe our beloved Brother Desai is on his way to the Black Rage.




hehehe.
Im very much enjoying this story.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 01:08:00


Post by: Gitsplitta


Sorry Ice, guess I'm not savvy enough in Blood Angel lore to have gotten the narrative. Everyone else seems fine though so I wouldn't worry about it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 02:35:29


Post by: Asherian Command


Yeah. I recognized it immediately as the black rage. I remembered he was a ice angel, then somehow he was a blood angel. Which means he is well on his way to the Black Rage.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 02:43:34


Post by: IceAngel


Well, you guys are correct, mostly. I may do a little tweaking to that one.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 03:27:47


Post by: whalemusic360


Sorry, havent got to read the one from before the feedback section. As soon as I do, your getting comments


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 03:29:36


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Is he developing a hint of Sanguinius's foresight?

If you edit it I would suggest making it slightly longer and more noticeably dream like (the reader recognizes it as a dream, but not Desai obviously )

Like in starwars emperor strikes back when Luke is on Degobah and enters that cave place and fights an imaginary version of Vader..


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 03:53:35


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:Is he developing a hint of Sanguinius's foresight?

If you edit it I would suggest making it slightly longer and more noticeably dream like (the reader recognizes it as a dream, but not Desai obviously )

Like in starwars emperor strikes back when Luke is on Degobah and enters that cave place and fights an imaginary version of Vader..


Good analogy with the Star Wars reference.

When I wrote it I didn't necessarily want the reader to recognize it as a dream until it was over. Desai thought it was all real until it was over and he realized he had just stabbed an inanimate object. So ultimately what I was shooting for was to have the reader be in Desai's shoes for the time being, that may have been part of the confusion. I may fiddle with it some and see what happens, good suggestions though.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 21:11:53


Post by: Sageheart


I love what you did with my marine, it is great work!! i loved reading that essay, maybe to help, should my pre-story be posted onto this forum rather than a link of it? You could edit it into the post of that story so it is one long thing? don't want to take over your thread, but maybe it would give a bit more foreknowledge.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/08 21:13:09


Post by: Sageheart


I would have a bit more description of what the other marines thought or looked like as they saw this go down. the dream state is great, just I would think a Dark Angel Marine, or A Ultramarine, or whatever chapter that isnt BA may not understand what is going on and may be scared, or sickened, or think of chaos taint, do you know what i mean?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/09 02:13:12


Post by: IceAngel


Sageheart wrote:I love what you did with my marine, it is great work!! i loved reading that essay, maybe to help, should my pre-story be posted onto this forum rather than a link of it? You could edit it into the post of that story so it is one long thing? don't want to take over your thread, but maybe it would give a bit more foreknowledge.


No, I like having yours linked to the other page just like Git did with his.

Sageheart wrote:I would have a bit more description of what the other marines thought or looked like as they saw this go down. the dream state is great, just I would think a Dark Angel Marine, or A Ultramarine, or whatever chapter that isnt BA may not understand what is going on and may be scared, or sickened, or think of chaos taint, do you know what i mean?


Yeah I understand what you're saying Sage, but I think if I added another persons perspective I may loose some of the depth of what Desai is going through. I am still unsure of how to correct it. I tried to fiddle around with it but I havn't been able to make it better. I do appreciate the suggestions though. I may be over thinking this one so I may move on and then come back to it. Sometimes that helps me reassess my writing.

OMG, I just decided I know how to fix it.

I'll ask my wife, she is the Empress of Grammar btw.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/09 02:21:11


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:
Sageheart wrote:I love what you did with my marine, it is great work!! i loved reading that essay, maybe to help, should my pre-story be posted onto this forum rather than a link of it? You could edit it into the post of that story so it is one long thing? don't want to take over your thread, but maybe it would give a bit more foreknowledge.


No, I like having yours linked to the other page just like Git did with his.

Sageheart wrote:I would have a bit more description of what the other marines thought or looked like as they saw this go down. the dream state is great, just I would think a Dark Angel Marine, or A Ultramarine, or whatever chapter that isnt BA may not understand what is going on and may be scared, or sickened, or think of chaos taint, do you know what i mean?


Yeah I understand what you're saying Sage, but I think if I added another persons perspective I may loose some of the depth of what Desai is going through. I am still unsure of how to correct it. I tried to fiddle around with it but I havn't been able to make it better. I do appreciate the suggestions though. I may be over thinking this one so I may move on and then come back to it. Sometimes that helps me reassess my writing.

OMG, I just decided I know how to fix it.

I'll ask my wife, she is the Emperor of Grammar btw.

Holy Crap I just realized how close indianiapolis is to me! D: I go there for every genecon!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/11 23:47:10


Post by: IceAngel


Darkness – 11

As the Frozen Rage silently slipped back into real space the engines had one final burst before going dark. All the lights were extinguished and the ship slide through space like a shadow in the dark. Every man, woman, and machine on the ship was on high alert. The marines were armored and the guns were primed. No Imperial Ship had made it to the Kota System and returned in years.

The bridge of the Frozen Rage was a bustle of activity, but it was a quiet chaos. Everyone knew their roles and like the Ice Angel Chapter, efficiency was paramount. Only two marines stood on the bridge, Captain Razzik and Chaplain Cyaxeres. They watched and listened to the crew and reports.

Commander Seluku sat in his throne wired directly into the ship. He felt the cold bite of space on his skin as if the hull was his own. He absorbed all of the information from every crewman on the ship and in turn felt their nerves as they searched for their enemies. As he was bombarded with information Seluku calmly took a breath before mentally requesting a follow up. Everything checked out as planned. Commander Seluku was where he knew they would be and just like Razzik had planned, there wasn’t an ork in range of their weapons.

Seluku opened his eyes and peered at Captain Razzik. “We are clear my Captain and outside the Kota System. No reports of enemies in range. Scanning servitors are en route to planets.”

“Keep everyone on alert until we have responses from our servitors.” Razzik responded as he paced the bridge.

With out any other word Commander Seluku closed his eyes and went back to work, it would be several hours before they received any response from the servitors, but for the time being they were safe and unnoticed floating in the darkness outside of the large Kota system. Razzik sent a message to his sergeants then continued to pace the bridge.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

With a faint whirring sound all of the planets in the Kota system revolved around the massive sun at its center before coming to a stop. The holographic image of the sun was the size of Razzik’s chest but all of the other planets in the system varied from the size of a fist to an eye. For a few minutes Razzik had wandered around the holographic projection taking in what he was seeing. Around the perimeter of the black walled room were all of the sergeants and members of command on the Frozen Rage, dispersed within them were some of the guest marines and naval officers. The only other person within the projection was Commander Seluku. He stood perfectly rigid like a bodyguard, right next to the tiny projection of the Frozen Rage.

Captain Razzik walked amongst the planets and approached an area somewhere between the fourth and fifth. At first glance it appeared another planet was there, but upon closer inspection it was actually a conglomerate of ork vessels. The ork rokks, hulks, and other vessels sat in such away that they almost looked like another planet. Razzik examined the formation and the vessels. The number of orks in just that area was unimaginable.

Finally Razzik sauntered over to Commander Seluku. Along the way he noticed all of the other vessels of various sizes floating in space between the other planets. The Kota system was choking with orks and the planets were churning out everything a Waaaaagh would need to destroy dozens of other systems.

“Flag the enemies.” Razzik said as he turned to look at the system from the perimeter. With a thought a servitor activated the label system in the holographic projection. The view of the Kota System was instantly filled with red enemy symbols. Several members of the officer staff gasped at the startling number of enemy tags.

“Add planetary orbits, enemy movements, and give me a calendar.” After every request from Razzik the servitor whirred and added another image onto the projection. Soon the floating ships and planets were all set on long lines. Across the floor was the calendar. Along the orbits small dates appeared to show when movements would reach certain points. Razzik turned to Commander Seluku and the image of the Frozen Rage. Commander Seluku peered at Razzik before giving him a slight nod.

Razzik looked around the room at his staff before speaking again, “Some where in this system is the information we need to prove to High Command the Dark Eldar are apart of this Waaagh.”

Razzik looked back to Seluku, “Suggestions?”

“From the moment the reports began to filter in I’ve been studying the information.” Commander Seluku began, “We’ve been here three days and the orks are stationed all around the system. Every planet has a heavy ork influence, except the first which is completely inhospitable. There are more ships and rokks in this system then all of the other systems being affected by the ork invasion combined.” Commander Seluku began to slowly wander in the projection.

“From what we saw before on Rokk Mekaroid the Dark Eldar were hidden within the rokk, I would assume they’d do the same here as well.” Techpriest Philosir said.

Razzik looked at the priest weighing his comment, “There must be a better way to narrow our search then looking at every Rokk, or planet for that matter.”

Brother Jaska of the Marines Chrysemys stepped forward from the perimeter and moved slowly passed Commander Seluku. Jaska examined a dark area of space. “If the Dark Eldar were hiding in the rokk away from the Orks, maybe we should be looking at an area where the orks aren’t.” Razzik moved across the room to join him and noticed that there was an area where the orks were not patrolling nor were there any enemy tags. In the space were some gas anomalies, but nothing that would prevent ships from passing. He nodded his head at the assessment, then began to notice the hordes of vessels between the Frozen Rage and the empty space in the system. Even with the skills of Commander Seluku, getting to that point unnoticed was impossible with a ship their size.

Captain Razzik began to tap his chin at the puzzle. After a few silent minutes Muttabriqu spoke up, “When were the other crusader fleets arriving and beginning their counter attack?”

Philosir looked at his datapad and responded, “The first fleet would have arrived three months ago in the Yuzin System. The last fleet would have arrived in the Jilda’Kajind System near the same time we arrived here.”

Captain Razzik smiled as Muttabriqu looked his way, “How long would it take for a ship to travel from the Yuzin System to here?” Razzik asked.

Philosir tapped away on his datapad before responding, “It looks like it would take a ship around four months.”

Razzik nodded and he began to think about what would happen once that ork vessel arrived here. “So when our first fleet arrived in Yuzin, the orks would’ve sent a runner to here. That should stir up the Waaaagh I’m sure. Let us wait and see what happens when they get here then. The Emperor may yet grant us a path.” Razzik turned back to Jaska and the dead zone. “Seluku get us half way to the outer orbit and anchor us. We need to see which of the orks are going to be attempting to stop the Emperors Crusades.”

“It shall be done.” He said with a bow.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 00:11:46


Post by: Gitsplitta


Excellent!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 00:21:47


Post by: Sageheart


great! its wonderful! love your writing


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 02:40:20


Post by: Ramos Asura


Stellar. Absolutely Stellar!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 02:53:13


Post by: Asherian Command



I loved it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 02:56:55


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


This sentence in the context of the paragraph it is in makes no sense to me.

"The bridge of the Frozen Rage was a bustle of activity, but it was quite chaos."

Did you mean that it (activity on the bridge) was "far from chaos"

In any event I look forward to seeing what happens.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 03:03:43


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:This sentence in the context of the paragraph it is in makes no sense to me.

"The bridge of the Frozen Rage was a bustle of activity, but it was quite chaos."

Did you mean that it (activity on the bridge) was "far from chaos"

In any event I look forward to seeing what happens.


No, I meant it to be that the bridge was full of activity. A kind of controlled chaos, which is what I would call a quiet chaos.

Which after typing I realized I put in quite not quiet. FIXED!

Thanks Ma55ter_fett


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 03:08:28


Post by: Asherian Command


Ice did you make that entire starship part? Because that is pure awesome XD


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 03:26:29


Post by: IceAngel


Asherian Command wrote:Ice did you make that entire starship part? Because that is pure awesome XD


Yes, yes I did. Everything you see here has been written by me.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/12 05:36:36


Post by: Sageheart


good work!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 03:51:48


Post by: IceAngel


With several slaps and a churrchunk, all of the various weapons in the room touched the floor. The final churrchunk brought a smile to Cyaxeres’ face. He looked out at the Shattermantle PDF that complimented the naval security force, the Tundra Foxes. It was tradition that all planetary defense force recruits take a tour on a naval vessel before beginning their time in the true PDF force on Shattermantle.

The PDF men and women of Shattermantle on the Frozen Rage were still young; many had never seen more then a few battles. Only a few select veterans were spread amongst the numbers. Cyaxeres recognized a handful of them. Cyaxeres rarely got involved with the PDF but he knew morale was his job. Every Imperial soldier, Astartes or not, would be asked to lay down his life for the Imperium and that time may be soon. When Cyaxeres had entered the hall he had seen the change in the PDF and he knew he had made the right choice in coming down.

Now that the PDF commanders had finished their drills, all three hundred PDF stood at parade rest. The Company Commander introduced Cyaxeres, but he knew everyone in the room already knew who he was. For a moment the room was awkwardly silent. Finally Cyaxeres turned to the Company Commander, “Thank you Commander.”

Cyaxeres once again looked out over the assembled soldiers. He towered over all of them especially in his black power armor. Cyaxeres stepped away from the command staff and began to wander amongst the Tundra Foxes. As he approached them they would stiffen or avert their eyes from the fearsome visage of Cyaxeres. Only the veterans would give a look of defiance, Cyaxeres would smile at himself as they did. Eventually he returned to the front and when he did he removed his helmet so that all of the assembled soldiers could see his face.

“Commander, your Tundra Foxes appear to be well drilled.” A grin began to creep on the face of the company commander’s face. “However,” Cyaxeres paused,”I smell fear.” Cyaxeres glared out across the soldiers. He began to speak in a hushed tone. “Fear is something I am very familiar with. Fear is a useful tool, but there is something you need to know about fear.”
“Fear follows us.”
“Fear stalks us.”
“Fear can control us.”
“Fear sleeps with us, eats with us, and surrounds us. FEAR is everywhere!” he took a dramatic pause and with passion in his voice continued.
“But Fear is only an emotion. Fear can go away. Fear can be ignored. Fear can be stopped. Stopped with Faith! Faith in the Emperor and Faith in mankind!” he shouted. The atmosphere in the room was completely different. Cyaxeres looked around the room; the PDF no longer averted their eyes at his sight. He let his words sink into the soldiers around him. Finally he continued in a more somber tone.

“The Frozen Rage has brought us all over the Emperors domain. She is the only way we can return to our home. For next few days I ask one thing of you all. Protect her. Do not let any xenos set foot on her. If you can do that for me, I promise I’ll find a way for us to get out of here and return to Shattermantle.”

The Tundra Hawks responded with shouts of approval the company command swelled with pride at their unit. Eventually Cyaxeres gave the sign of the aquila. All three hundred Tundra Hawks saluted. He turned and left the hall. As he walked away from the hall he realized the speech may have been as much a benefit to the soldiers as himself. A determined look crossed his face and he set off to visit with the Ice Angels stationed around the ship.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“These Ice Angels and their unorthodox methods and command structure are very disappointing. Guilliman would be furious at these sons of Sanguinius.” Kvothe spat. The other two marines in the room rolled their eyes knowing what would soon start. “The Codex Astartes specifically states the chapter master and his command lead the chapter, not some council of sergeants. This is bordering heretical the way they…..”

Honored Brother Inigo stood up startling fast, his chair flew behind him. It clattered across the floor before stopping against the wall. He glared at Kvothe and pointed. “I am TIRED of all of your complaining. Where in the Codex does it say that annoying your fellow marines is a good idea?”

Kvothe titled his head at the question, “It does not state that, per se but……….”

“Then keep your mouth shut! You will not be able to change the Ice Angels nor will you be able to change any of our attitudes about the situation.” Inigo added while shaking his finger at Kvothe. Kvothe simply stood up and grabbed his helmet off the table. He glared at Honored Brother Inigo once more before exiting to small room.

Inigo mumbled some words under his breath before walking over to his Thunder Hammer. The hammer was laying on its case; a velvet cloth covered the head of the revered weapon. Inigo motioned to pick up the weapon but paused before and gave a prayer to the Emperor. He then sighed and instead walked back to the table. Brother Nefas was at the table with his bolter. Honored Brother Inigo watched Brother Nefas disassemble the bolter with lightning speed. When he was completed he moved over to a small chest. He gingerly picked up the chest and sat it on the table next to the bolter.

Honored Brother Inigo realized he had never seen this chest before, yet he had shared this small suite with him for months now. The chest seemed simple enough but something about it made him incredibly curious of its contents.

Brother Nefas was a gaunt marine from the Sinners Chapter with fine grey hair and dark grey eyes. His armor was jet black, his helmet bright white, the only color on his armor was a red cloth over his right shoulder pad. He looked up at Brother Inigo as he opened up the chest. The chest opened with a whir and a click. Inigo began to sit up so that he could peer over the lid at its contents, but the look from Nefas made him stop.

Nefas took out several items from the chest, all of which appeared to be parts for a bolter. He quickly reassembled the bolter with all of the new parts. In a matter of minutes the standard pattern bolter was now a heavily customized weapon with a pistol grip. “Non timetis messor” was inscribed on the low profile scope and two barrels, one on top of the other, poked out the front. Finally Nefas took out four clips and an ammo drum from the chest.

Brother Inigo recognized the four clips but the drum had no markings on it other then a red aquila. He realized he was on the edge of his seat, the sight of the transformation was enthralling and he was dying to know what the other ammo was. Brother Nefas gave a faint smile as he moved four of the clips from the table onto his person. The drum disappeared into a pouch on his hip.

With a prayer on his lips Brother Nefas picked up the weapon, “May the Emperor bless my bolter and guide my rounds.” He then kissed the stock and looked at Honored Brother Inigo. Inigo sat with his mouth open. Slowly he began to grin at the thought of watching Brother Nefas murder the Emperors enemies.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 04:56:20


Post by: Sageheart


Looking good!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 05:30:07


Post by: Ramos Asura


Excellent work, as always Ice.

I did notice a small error in the second paragraph.
"...but he knew moral was his job."
In this case it should be "morale". Moral=feeling of good/bad, right/wrong. Morale= the mental well-being of a group, emotional drive, etc.

Other than that, its a fine story!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 05:42:11


Post by: IceAngel


Ramos Asura wrote:Excellent work, as always Ice.

I did notice a small error in the second paragraph.
"...but he knew moral was his job."
In this case it should be "morale". Moral=feeling of good/bad, right/wrong. Morale= the mental well-being of a group, emotional drive, etc.

Other than that, its a fine story!


Fixed, Thanks!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 06:28:47


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Interesting, this bite sized method of new content delivery has me wanting moar.

I half expected Commander Cyaxeres to add "fear is the mind killer" to his speech.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 14:04:50


Post by: Gitsplitta


Wonder scene Ice. Excellent job.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 19:29:34


Post by: Sageheart


Ma55ter Fett, i was thinking the same thing!! haha


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 19:44:26


Post by: Asherian Command


As was I


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 20:57:05


Post by: whalemusic360


Ok my long overdue homework.

1. I like the inclusion of GMS marines. It really makes it more personal for those of use who have been part of it. I know that wasnt the question, but it happens.

2. While much improved, your introduction to new characters is still a bit clunky. Also, not a fan of the name "Tundra Hawks". Confused me for a minute, as I thought you just spelled thunderhawk incorrectly or ork-y.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 21:05:55


Post by: Asherian Command


Yeah. That got me confused as well.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 22:11:35


Post by: IceAngel


whalemusic360 wrote:Ok my long overdue homework.

1. I like the inclusion of GMS marines. It really makes it more personal for those of use who have been part of it. I know that wasnt the question, but it happens.

2. While much improved, your introduction to new characters is still a bit clunky. Also, not a fan of the name "Tundra Hawks". Confused me for a minute, as I thought you just spelled thunderhawk incorrectly or ork-y.



I liked the name Tundra Hawks, but if any one has a better suggestion. I may be persuaded to change it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 22:13:49


Post by: Asherian Command


IceAngel wrote:
whalemusic360 wrote:Ok my long overdue homework.

1. I like the inclusion of GMS marines. It really makes it more personal for those of use who have been part of it. I know that wasnt the question, but it happens.

2. While much improved, your introduction to new characters is still a bit clunky. Also, not a fan of the name "Tundra Hawks". Confused me for a minute, as I thought you just spelled thunderhawk incorrectly or ork-y.



I liked the name Tundra Hawks, but if any one has a better suggestion. I may be persuaded to change it.

How about this.....
Abraxos Damabiath
Which litterally means
Angel of Navy Construction
These two angel names are attributed to Heavens angels.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 22:32:08


Post by: whalemusic360


Its a good name, if it wasnt for thunderhawks


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/13 23:16:11


Post by: Sageheart


maybe put it in bold or italics (italics may make it feel too much like a ship's name) so that we can see quickly that it needs to be read as a unit, i had some trouble too but love the name.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 16:03:38


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:Interesting, this bite sized method of new content delivery has me wanting moar.

I half expected Commander Cyaxeres to add "fear is the mind killer" to his speech.


The Litany Against Fear

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

I love the Dune Reference. I think the phrase, Fear is the mind-killer, is very iconic and not something I could get away with using without people thinking of Dune. As soon as you mentioned that it brought me back a few decades, lol. I should really go back and reread those books.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 16:26:50


Post by: Sageheart


those books are amazing, i always thought the movie was funny too, it was never as good as thebooks, but it was really interesting to see how they used the books and old effects to make that movie!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 16:29:10


Post by: Asherian Command


Sageheart wrote:those books are amazing, i always thought the movie was funny too, it was never as good as thebooks, but it was really interesting to see how they used the books and old effects to make that movie!

no movie has ever improved a book series.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 16:31:39


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Not so fast ASH!
I know of one movie that was better than the book!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 16:34:07


Post by: Asherian Command


battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Not so fast ASH!
I know of one movie that was better than the book!

What Twilight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 16:38:10


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Nope.
Big Fish.
Great, great movie.

Also, The Princess Bride.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 18:02:06


Post by: Asherian Command


battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Nope.
Big Fish.
Great, great movie.

Also, The Princess Bride.

Thats true.
But anyway Ice nice job so far looking forward to more fluff!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/14 21:33:29


Post by: Sageheart


i didnt say it improved it, i said it was interesting watching how that old movie displayed the really complex and beautiful book.

and there have been movies that made the book better in some case: minority report for example. The short story by Philip K. Dick is okay, its not his best work, the writing is rushed, it becomes way too complex, it has a better ending and a more political focus but it can be a bore to read at times. I'm a die-hard Philip K. Dick fan, but the movie in that moment really improved the books in a lot of ways.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/15 00:15:12


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


IceAngel wrote:
whalemusic360 wrote:Ok my long overdue homework.

1. I like the inclusion of GMS marines. It really makes it more personal for those of use who have been part of it. I know that wasnt the question, but it happens.

2. While much improved, your introduction to new characters is still a bit clunky. Also, not a fan of the name "Tundra Hawks". Confused me for a minute, as I thought you just spelled thunderhawk incorrectly or ork-y.



I liked the name Tundra Hawks, but if any one has a better suggestion. I may be persuaded to change it.


Alpine Angels or Alpine Hawks maybe?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/15 00:17:53


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


Ice Eagles.
Tundra Foxes


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/15 00:37:48


Post by: Asherian Command


Ice Foxes?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/15 01:59:45


Post by: Sageheart


i like Tundra Hawks, i dont think those other names are as good. I would just make it look more on the page like Tundra Hawks with bold or italics.

i mean i guess i could throw some names out but im really stuck with keeping tundra hawks.

maybe

Tundra Corps
Tundra wings



Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/15 02:01:05


Post by: Asherian Command


Tundra Corps.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/16 01:31:21


Post by: IceAngel


hmm, lots of good suggestions. After rereading everyone's suggestions, I am still not 100% sure on what I want. I think Lucifer's Tundra Foxes is the top of the list so far. I may make a D&D like name table if I'm feel up to it.

Hey, what about the PermaFox Company? lol, that's a good one.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/16 01:40:07


Post by: whalemusic360


I like the tundra fox or arctic fox for the name.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/16 01:43:28


Post by: Battle Brother Lucifer


I agree, Artic Foxes or Tundra Foxes sound good


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/17 23:38:45


Post by: IceAngel



The holographic room’s servitor was twitching at all of the activity. The ork ships were departing from all over the system. The amount of warp activity was staggering as hulks, looted ships, and rokks activated their warp drives. It hadn’t even been 24 hours since the messenger ship arrived. The orks had clearly been ready to get into battle. Grand Master Warlord Gazzbat Boomfoot, as he called himself, had sent out a system wide message and like rounds in a heavy stubber the orks shot out into space.

As the red threat indicators began to disappear across the system, Razzik found himself being drawn to the area of darkness Jaska had pointed out. After a few minutes of staring a bright flash took his attention away to another area just outside of the fourth planet. Razzik watched the tail end of an explosion. He raised an eye brow. “Back up seven seconds.”

The holographic image rewound and Razzik watched intently as the rokk exploded. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. “Stupid Orks,” he added before turning towards the largest cluster of ork vessels. They were spreading out away from each other before disappearing into the warp.

Razzik watched for several hours before the number of warp flashes began to slow down. According to the holographic image nearly eighty percent of all of the ork vessels in the system had departed. Razzik began to say a prayer to the Emperor as he thought about all of the other crusading armies and the Imperial Forces that were tasked to stop this force. These orks were too well organized for his liking. Then again, when did an ork not speed at the mention of a good fight?

“Commander Seluku, resume our voyage. I’ll be on the bridge shortly.” Razzik said into his vox.
“Affirmative Captain,” Seluku responded.

Within a few seconds Razzik witnessed the image of the Frozen Rage begin to move and a thin blue line appear behind the image. “Let the hunt begin.” Razzik said as he turned and departed the room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As Razzik stepped onto the bridge he was immediately hailed by Lieutenant Arwia. By her station were several other high ranking naval officers along with Cyaxeres. At the sight of Razzik approaching many officers bowed and stepped away leaving him alone with Cyaxeres and Arwia.

“Captain we have a problem, another ork vessel recently appeared in the system not far from here. It is close enough that it may pick up our signal. It does appear to have minor battle damage.” Arwia stated as she swiftly pulled up a distant view of the vessel.

“We may be able to commandeer the vessel or get a smaller ship from there. It would make our passage through the system easier.” Cyaxeres added.

“I would never trust an Ork vessel! I think we should destroy it and continue with our plan.” Commander Seluku quickly added from across the bridge.

“Clearly the Emperor has granted us this golden opportunity. I suggest we…..” Cyaxeres paused at the look from Razzik. The bridge was suddenly silent.

Razzik looked down at the screen. The ork vessel was half the length of the Frozen Rage but very squat, almost as if it had hit a wall and compressed. Razzik then looked to Cyaxeres. Razzik was about to give his command when he hesitated, the weight of such a decision suddenly weighing down on him. “What would Ruusa do?” he thought to himself.

“How far is that ship from us?” he asked Arwia.

A smile creeped onto Cyaxeres’ face as Lientenant Arwia responded “Current speed eight hours.”

“Which means we could be there in three if we hurried,” Razzik quietly said to no one in particular.

“We take the vessel. Seluku gain speed and bring us along side. Cyaxeres prepare the train!” Razzik shouted. As the members of the bridge spurred into motion he seemed to gather confidence in his decision. Cyaxeres slid on his skull helmet and strode out of the bridge. Razzik took one last look down at Arwia’s station. The ork vessel was beginning to look like a solution, not a problem.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/17 23:46:23


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


You haven't traded for any orks in the GMS by any chance have you?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/18 00:10:55


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:You haven't traded for any orks in the GMS by any chance have you?


I have not.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/18 00:25:19


Post by: Gitsplitta


The tension builds... but there's a good fight on the horizon I'd warrant!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/18 02:02:14


Post by: Sageheart


can't wait to see a fight scene! Are the marine swap brothers goingto be a good part of the action?


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/19 00:13:57


Post by: IceAngel


The primary Ice Angel hanger was a flurry of activity. Servitors loaded up the Thunderhawks and checked systems. Weapon mounts were coming up out of the floor to prevent any intruders. Klaxons could be heard as various doors opened and cargo was moved. Techpriests and adepts gave their prayers before each Thunderhawk was woken. As they moved towards the last Thunderhawk, the lights in the hanger suddenly switched from white to red. The huge hanger doors slowly opened and the two ends of the hanger became curtains of pitch black.

Standing on a balcony over looking the hanger was Chaplain Cyaxeres, Captain Razzik, and a colorful crew of marines. Below them on the hanger floor units of Ice Angels were beginning to move to their respective transports. As they began their individual unit pre-battle ceremonies, Razzik turned around to face 11 marines, each from different chapters.

“Some of you are about to witness the fury of the Ice Angels for the first time. Our methods have been used by our chapter and it’s predecessors for centuries. It may not be your own, but when you are a part of my force you will follow the commands given. Rank in your previous chapter is irrelevant here.” Captain Razzik looked at each marine in turn, spending an extra few seconds on Brother Kvothe and his meltagun. “We’re commandeering this vessel, be extra careful what you shoot.” Brother Kvothe looked offended at the thought of hitting anything other then his target. Razzik smiled at the reaction before issuing his orders.

“Inushi and Aquilum you’re with Gamma force. Jaska and Kvothe you’re with Delta. Pyrox, Vetov, Reven, Walters, Evrard, Nefas, and Inigo you’re with me on the train.” Razzik slammed his helmet down and nearly every marine followed suit. “The Emperor Protects,” he added before marching off. Brother Desai was about to question the orders but a look from the Chaplain stopped him. After the marines took off towards their respective vessels, only Brother Desai and Cyaxeres stayed on the balcony. Cyaxeres walked over and placed his hand on Desai’s shoulder.

“Not yet Desai. Not yet.” Was all the Chaplain said.

Brother Desai looked into the skull mask of the Chaplain. Anger filled his mind, not at the Ice Angel Chaplain, but at himself for allowing his rage to take control. With a deep breath and a concentrated force of will he calmed himself down. Cyaxeres was right and he knew it. Finally with a slow nod Cyaxeres removed his hand and walked off towards the awaiting train. Brother Desai stayed on the balcony and watched the marines down below prepare for war.

He saw Inushi and Aquilum board one of the Thunderhawks. As he watched, his eyes began to wander around the hanger. Eventually he became transfixed with the void that loomed just outside the hanger, the cold darkness of space in which all things floated.

Even as the sounds of the engines firing up filled his head, he stared out into the void. To Desai, it wasn’t the darkness that bothered him. It was the cold. On his home world he spent most of his time around lava and searing heat, nothing like the frozen wasteland of the Ice Angels homeworld. Time seemed to slow down as a chill crept through his bones. Brother Desai began to notice the slow thump of his hearts. He began to remember what Cyaxeres had shown him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In silence they walked. Desai was still full of inner turmoil from stabbing the statue. He couldn’t believe the rage had taken him in that place of beauty. Cyaxeres lead Brother Desai through a virtual maze of corridors he had never seen before. Finally they came to a series of doors, all of which Cyaxeres entered in codes or keys to open. After they passed through two sets they entered into a large room where a dozen servitors all armed with multi-meltas stood watch. Cyaxeres moved to the next door and began to say several phrases while entering codes into a pad. As he did, Brother Desai looked back and what he saw disturbed him. The servitors along with hidden wall guns were all aimed at the door they were opening, not the door they came through. These lines of defenses were meant to keep people in, not out. With a loud hiss the double doors slid open. A frigid burst of cold air nearly knocked Brother Desai over. Cyaxeres gave him a side long glance before heading into the freezing room.

After a moment of hesitation Desai followed him into the dark sub zero room. After taking a dozen steps the doors behind them quickly closed, their speed was alarmingly quick. “What is this place?” Brother Desai asked as he looked around at the columns of ice, at the base of each was a blank alabaster plate. Cyaxeres continued to walk through the room in somber silence. The constant sound of moving frigid air was only interrupted with their foot falls. Frost was quickly forming on their robes.

Eventually Cyaxeres came to a stop and looked up into a deep blue column of ice. Brother Desai took a few quick steps to catch up. At the foot of the column was a frost covered name plate, only the last “u” could be seen. Beneath it was a large bladed hooked spear. When he looked up, he saw what Cyaxeres was staring at. Inside the frozen column was an Ice Angel. He was in a pristine suit of white power armor.

“The Black Rage, Brother Desai, affects us all.” Cyaxeres began while continuing to look at the frozen marine. “All Sons of Sanguinius are forced to deal with the rage at one point or another. Some chapters hide their rage and view it as an affliction, a disease. Others urge on the Black Rage and believe it a gift from Sanguinius. We believe the rage is a test, a test given to us by Sanguinius in his final moments. All Ice Angels fight the urge, the hate, the need to blindly slaughter friend and foe, but the strong prevail. Those that fail the test dawn the white armor and are frozen until they can unleash their fury at the enemy.”

Brother Desai looked away from the frozen marine in self contemplation. His hands and feet were beginning to go numb from the extreme cold. Cyaxeres gave him a moment before continuing. “We all have a choice to make Brother Desai, whether to fight or give in to the rage.”

Desai looked at Cyaxeres and was about to speak when the old chaplain slowly shook his head and with a sigh spoke. “I believe you’ve already made your choice.”

Cyaxeres took one final look at the frozen marine before he began to walk back towards the entrance. Brother Desai took one last look as well before hustling after the chaplain. As he passed the other columns he noticed they were all empty.

When the door finally closed behind him the feeling in his extremities quickly returned. As the pair walked, once again in silence, Desai couldn’t help but wonder if his name would soon be on one of those alabaster plates.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Brother Desai gently shook away the cold as the memory of his visit with Cyaxeres left his thoughts. However his thoughts were soon filled with questions, one of which he couldn't answer. Brother Desai leaned over the balcony to try and get a better view, "Why are they bringing a vindicator?" he asked himself. The question dangled on his lips as he watched the heavily modified siege engine roll onto the awaiting Thunderhawk.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/19 00:18:20


Post by: Sageheart


great work! love how this is ending up!

didn't know your death company also wore white armor, i like the frezing them in ice, great idea.

can't wait for more.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/19 00:19:27


Post by: IceAngel


Sageheart wrote:great work! love how this is ending up!

didn't know your death company also wore white armor, i like the frezing them in ice, great idea.

can't wait for more.


Yeah, my avatar is one of my old old death company models. I should really change it to a more up to date figure.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/19 01:14:25


Post by: Sageheart


nice! I like your avatar, its a nice model!

Do you have models for all the characters you've had within the story so far? If so maybe posts some pics of them? I mean non-MarineSwap models.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/19 04:17:07


Post by: IceAngel


Sageheart wrote:nice! I like your avatar, its a nice model!

Do you have models for all the characters you've had within the story so far? If so maybe posts some pics of them? I mean non-MarineSwap models.


I have some of them. Of course I have squad Uttuakki, Captain Ruusa, and Captain Razzik all completed. I also have some other characters Cyaxeres, Attikusu, and Philosir. I have Frakatazuli in his normal dread suit, but I havn't yet made him in his awesome zero gravity dreadnought suit with the anchor. Squad Shwando is completed, I am currently working on Ashurbani, and then I've got some other random members. For example, Mi-luqua Vaz is an actual member of a tactical unit. I even have some other guys you haven't even met yet. So my story is a mix of characters I have and characters I made up specifically for the story.

We actually have a rule at my house when we play. If you have a model that doesn't something crazy cool, or a unit that beats the odds, you must name them and paint it on their base. Thats how Mi-luqua Vaz got named actually. He killed three terminators in close combat by himself! Not bad for a tactical marine.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/19 05:54:45


Post by: Sageheart


that's a cool house rule, i like it!


If you get the chance some pics of the characters you have madeup would be nice.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/23 13:51:47


Post by: Ma55ter_fett


Very nice

But I don't know if there is sufficent indication that the account of Cyaxeres and Desai's visit to the frozen ice angels was in the past.

Also, good job on the frozen marines, its pretty much as I had imagined it.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/23 14:24:39


Post by: Gitsplitta


I guess I hadn't realized that either. Really gripping story though Ice... extremely well done.


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/24 04:48:53


Post by: IceAngel


Ma55ter_fett wrote:Very nice

But I don't know if there is sufficent indication that the account of Cyaxeres and Desai's visit to the frozen ice angels was in the past.

Also, good job on the frozen marines, its pretty much as I had imagined it.


Thank you Ma55ter_fett, I think I'll actually add a little sentence or two at the end of the last story to show Desai coming back out of his short dream to the present. That should help cover both ends of the flashback.

Gitsplitta wrote:I guess I hadn't realized that either. Really gripping story though Ice... extremely well done.


Thank you Git, I am glad you actually found my latest edition and read it! lol.

Looking at my schedule I think it will be awhile before I can really add on. The Holidays are approaching and I will be out of town, but please do not fear! For fear is the mind killer........ wait, I mean don't worry the story will go on once I return!


Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64 @ 2010/11/24 04:51:02


Post by: Gitsplitta


Have fun ice... let your creative batteries re-charge!