41545
Post by: BeefCakeSoup
I was curious about this sometime ago but wrote it off as absent fluff.
Now that I think more on it though, I really wonder why big E never had a Mrs. in his life. Did he prefer men instead of women? Was he too busy leading an Empire? Is there any real fluff on it?
I know that he had the Brides of the Emperor change their name and that he kept his private life filled with technology and planning, but it seems like some pretty epic absence of fluff. I mean, almost every great ruler in a civilized Empire has some kind of a significant Queen figure.
Any fluff input that anyone has at all would be appreciated!
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
I'm sure that after watching a few lovers wither away and die of old age, he decided there wasn't much point in it anymore.
Besides, imagine the hook-up lines.
"Hey, my names Amy! What's your name, cutie?"
"I am the Emperor of mankind! I enjoy conquering galaxies and killing Daemons!"
*girl walks over to friends*
"I don't know what that buff nerd over there has been smokin', but it must be some strong stuff!"
37343
Post by: Simo429
Impotence
39550
Post by: Psienesis
He's the God-Emperor of Mankind. Even as a near-corpse sealed away in a massive life-support machine, being in his presence causes irreversible (and often fatal) harm to people. And this without him even actually turning his attention to you.
I'm sure Big E, as a mortal man, had a long line of wenches attend the Imperial Bed-Chamber... none of these are recorded, because none of them survived the encounter.
19377
Post by: Grundz
Space marines are two heads taller than a man
Primarchs are another two heads taller than a spacemarine
the emperor is even bigger
what chick wants a 16 foot tall husband?
//fluff conflicts, but that was my favorite 40k loophole, why didnt anyone notice a guy that is a story tall walking around for a million years?
6838
Post by: 1hadhq
Why should there be an Empress?
Option A:
- Emperor is still subject to old fluff and therefore a artificial lifeform of combined Psykers. Need a Empress if you got lots of different personalities inside already ?
Option B:
- no worthy candidate in 40 millenia. Maybe after 10 millenia of search without success interest drops......
Option C:
- Beefcakesoup trolls the IoM.
8303
Post by: sexiest_hero
He likes men. (And that is ok)
2636
Post by: NagothDaCleaver
He was too busy making Sensei to settle down!
37755
Post by: Harriticus
Emperor seems like the kind of guy who would only want a deep relationship from a woman, and considering he would outlive any woman in the world it was impossible to have a lasting relationship for him.
I mean, I guess he could have genetically created himself an Empress, but that would come off as a bit strange to bang your offspring.
2636
Post by: NagothDaCleaver
Harriticus wrote:
I mean, I guess he could have genetically created himself an Empress, but that would come off as a bit strange to bang your offspring.
Now you know the hideous truth of the 2nd legion's Primarch.
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
NagothDaCleaver wrote:Harriticus wrote:
I mean, I guess he could have genetically created himself an Empress, but that would come off as a bit strange to bang your offspring.
Now you know the hideous truth of the 2nd legion's Primarch.
 Someone give this man a shiny medal!
20774
Post by: pretre
NagothDaCleaver wrote:Harriticus wrote:
I mean, I guess he could have genetically created himself an Empress, but that would come off as a bit strange to bang your offspring.
Now you know the hideous truth of the 2nd legion's Primarch.
lmao
Silly, but still could be spoilery.
38102
Post by: DarthLakey
But the Emperor had children - the sensei
40376
Post by: Commisar Von Humps
Im sure he was pretty pissed and decided to stop after he ended up killing them when they tried to have kids  .
31733
Post by: Brother Coa
Well:
1) He is way to big for a Human.
2) He is single of his kind.
3) He is a 49.000 years old Human.
4) He is a God.
Nuff said.
40376
Post by: Commisar Von Humps
Brother Coa wrote:Well:
1) He is way to big for a Human.
Nuff said.
In what sense......  .
31733
Post by: Brother Coa
Commisar Von Humps wrote:Brother Coa wrote:Well:
1) He's is way to big for a Human.
Nuff said.
In what sense......  .
That's what Chaos Gods fear the most
37647
Post by: Laodamia
Brother Coa wrote:
4) He is a God.
In Greek mythology, gods had lots of different love/sex affairs with mortals.
I guess it would be the same thing with the Emprah.
I mean, even the supreme ruler of mankind must have its needs.
And as DarthLakey said, he had many sons over the course of his looooonnng life.
31733
Post by: Brother Coa
Laodamia wrote: In Greek mythology, gods had lots of different love/sex affairs with mortals. I guess it would be the same thing with the Emprah. I mean, even the supreme ruler of mankind must have its needs. And as DarthLakey said, he had many sons over the course of his looooonnng life. Well, he is not quite Human.... I mean he has no mom and dad, he was immortal and he had various powers. I think he never had need to f**k - or that any woman would survivr the encounter. ( who knows, maybe he love to eld minds in sex? ).
17923
Post by: Asherian Command
Brother Coa wrote:Laodamia wrote:
In Greek mythology, gods had lots of different love/sex affairs with mortals.
I guess it would be the same thing with the Emprah.
I mean, even the supreme ruler of mankind must have its needs.
And as DarthLakey said, he had many sons over the course of his looooonnng life.
Well, he is not quite Human.... I mean he has no mom and dad, he was immortal and he had various powers.
I think he never had need to f**k - or that any woman would survivr the encounter. ( who knows, maybe he love to eld minds in sex? ).
The women would just explode. there were a couple jokes going around that said.
39296
Post by: gpfunk
Space Marines are generally celibate, yes? I thought that was their fluff at least. It was to show their devotion to the Emprah. I'm sure the Emprah was celibate too, seeing as he wouldn't need an heir...being kept alive by machines and the death of a thousand men a day.
17923
Post by: Asherian Command
gpfunk wrote:Space Marines are generally celibate, yes? I thought that was their fluff at least. It was to show their devotion to the Emprah. I'm sure the Emprah was celibate too, seeing as he wouldn't need an heir...being kept alive by machines and the death of a thousand men a day.
not really how do you actually think he made geneseed?
41545
Post by: BeefCakeSoup
1hadhq wrote:Why should there be an Empress?
Option A:
- Emperor is still subject to old fluff and therefore a artificial lifeform of combined Psykers. Need a Empress if you got lots of different personalities inside already ?
Option B:
- no worthy candidate in 40 millenia. Maybe after 10 millenia of search without success interest drops......
Option C:
- Beefcakesoup trolls the IoM.
How am I trolling the IoM? I don't care if the Emperor had five wives or two husbands, makes him no less epic of a character in my books. I'm just curious why he never had a ruling "Queen" alongside him.
Seems there is no shortage of superhumans in 40K, was just curious why such a mighty ruler chose to rule alone when he seemed like a nice person.
Just odd that a space "kingdom" only had a king with no queen.
33560
Post by: Whirling Blade Exarch
Because despite all that psychic power, there is no cure for a tiny "powersword".
20780
Post by: RayvenQ
Grundz wrote:Space marines are two heads taller than a man
Primarchs are another two heads taller than a spacemarine
the emperor is even bigger
what chick wants a 16 foot tall husband?
//fluff conflicts, but that was my favorite 40k loophole, why didnt anyone notice a guy that is a story tall walking around for a million years? 
The Last Church pretty much makes it clear that he can appear however the hell he wants, in that he was a regular sized guy, but the reaction of the chair, creaking and groaning, kinda gave it away for the reader.
27025
Post by: lunarman
Asherian Command wrote:gpfunk wrote:Space Marines are generally celibate, yes? I thought that was their fluff at least. It was to show their devotion to the Emprah. I'm sure the Emprah was celibate too, seeing as he wouldn't need an heir...being kept alive by machines and the death of a thousand men a day.
not really how do you actually think he made geneseed?
Exactly
10424
Post by: somecallmeJack
Hes not really human, I can't see any woman or man surviving an encounter without being severely traumatised.
Plus hes probably transcended the need for pleasures of the flesh. Or something.
17923
Post by: Asherian Command
somecallmeJack wrote:Hes not really human, I can't see any woman or man surviving an encounter without being severely traumatised. OR exploding after having 30 seconds of pure awesomeness
Plus hes probably transcended the need for pleasures of the flesh. Or something.
Fixed.
Anyway The Emperor wouldn't need a empress, she would be corrupted immediately by chaos.
31733
Post by: Brother Coa
BeefCakeSoup wrote:
How am I trolling the IoM? I don't care if the Emperor had five wives or two husbands, makes him no less epic of a character in my books. I'm just curious why he never had a ruling "Queen" alongside him.
Seems there is no shortage of superhumans in 40K, was just curious why such a mighty ruler chose to rule alone when he seemed like a nice person.
Just odd that a space "kingdom" only had a king with no queen.
Simple answer - he was only of his kind. And had to much important task in his life than to make babies...
38102
Post by: DarthLakey
Brother Coa wrote:BeefCakeSoup wrote:
How am I trolling the IoM? I don't care if the Emperor had five wives or two husbands, makes him no less epic of a character in my books. I'm just curious why he never had a ruling "Queen" alongside him.
Seems there is no shortage of superhumans in 40K, was just curious why such a mighty ruler chose to rule alone when he seemed like a nice person.
Just odd that a space "kingdom" only had a king with no queen.
Simple answer - he was only of his kind. And had to much important task in his life than to make babies...
What? like have children????
because he did, he had lots of them
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Sensei
20774
Post by: pretre
Kind of old since they were from Realms of Chaos and are pretty much no longer part of Canon.
6838
Post by: 1hadhq
BeefCakeSoup wrote:
I'm just curious why he never had a ruling "Queen" alongside him.
Just odd that a space "kingdom" only had a king with no queen.
Mistake:
An Imperium isn't a kingdom.
> No king = no queen.
Go list Emperors with "Empresses" alongside.
30294
Post by: Nightbringer's Chosen
Perhaps the Imperium, male-centric (is that a word?) as it is, just didn't think them important enough to record. I could very well see them treating it in a "we didn't record what he had for breakfast either" sort of way.
27684
Post by: Thaanos
Nightbringer's Chosen wrote:Perhaps the Imperium, male-centric (is that a word?) as it is, just didn't think them important enough to record. I could very well see them treating it in a "we didn't record what he had for breakfast either" sort of way.
So a literal spin on "Hey girl, you look delicious! I could eat you all night"
20774
Post by: pretre
Thaanos wrote:Nightbringer's Chosen wrote:Perhaps the Imperium, male-centric (is that a word?) as it is, just didn't think them important enough to record. I could very well see them treating it in a "we didn't record what he had for breakfast either" sort of way.
So a literal spin on "Hey girl, you look delicious! I could eat you all night"
If you are curious, that wooshing noise was Nightbringer's Chosen's point going right over your head.
29408
Post by: Melissia
1hadhq wrote:- Emperor is still subject to old fluff and therefore a artificial lifeform of combined Psykers. Need a Empress if you got lots of different personalities inside already ?
more likely than not already having several husband/wife couples in there after all these years...
20224
Post by: dagsta2
sexiest_hero wrote:He likes men. (And that is ok)
31733
Post by: Brother Coa
Primarchs are his children to, and all had his powers.
These Sensei might be some new Primarch, but much more developed in mind than in body...
We have already concluded that there is no way for him to have kids, because he is a super-human.
Not one woman can survive in bed with him.
21148
Post by: KOS
Sensei were not taken away from canon. Let's just say that (if I recall correctly) the Inquisition turned down the followers of the Sensei sect since they thought it was heretical.
No more, no less.
But this doesn't mean that the Sensei are not in the universe waiting to get back in action.
37409
Post by: zerodemon
What's all this "people explode in his presence" stuff? Did I miss something in the fluff?
He didn't get himself a wife because he couldn't be bothered with having to divide the galaxy down the middle if they got divorced.
31384
Post by: bob the heretic
I dont care about if he ddt have a wife but he BETTER NOT BE A VIRGIN! I am not fightin fra billion year old virgin. Thats just sad.
42739
Post by: FieserMoep
Well, its Big E, everyone loves him, why shouldnt there be any Groupies over the millenias? I am sure there were some but why the Heck should there be records about that? Also there cant be an Empress cuz Big E is/was a God among mortals there was not such a woman who could stand beside him.
I wonder what would happen if Big E stands up from his golden Throne and sees his greates Fanclub, the Sororitas with their Shirts: "Daddy is the Best!"
34258
Post by: Pilau Rice
He had the right idea, he would have never had time to unite humankind if he had an Empress.
Mrs. E: You might be the Emperor of mankind but I still need shoes, the dog needs walking and we're out of milk...
E: I have a million worlds to unite and humankind shall surely fall without my guidance, I must ...
Mrs E.: There you go again, you always think of everyone else, never me, when was the last time you did something nice for me!?!
Notice how it's not 'mankind', she would have had a field day if he referred to people that way ..
39163
Post by: Sledgio
An Empress would have been far too... distracting... shall we say  nothing would ever get done!
28893
Post by: Uhlan
He's a Hermaphropsychic.
39004
Post by: biccat
There's a very simple answer to this question, and I'm surprised no one has hit on it yet.
There are no women in 40k.
Oh, there might be the occasional Sister of Battle or remembrancer, but for the most part, women simply don't exist in the IoM.
16387
Post by: Manchu
Saint Celestine can't get him to settle down. See here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/115025.page A long but funny (at times) read.
17210
Post by: vodo40k
People keep saying that a woman would just "explode" because of the emperors power, and that he is so tall it would be impossible anyway. As the most powerful psyker of all time, I think he would know how to mask his power and change his appearance, after all he had to have a way of staying secret all the time before the GC.
36011
Post by: xXSir MontyXx
He probably just had 5 sec stands. He mentally assaulted the woman's sexual part of her brain and it was done.
31384
Post by: bob the heretic
Guys just tell me he is not virgin! I just began to collect Blood Angels and quit Deth Guard. If he is truely a virgin im going back to the Death Guards. No Way Im fighting for a thousand year old virgin
32190
Post by: asimo77
I always imagined the Emperor was beyond things like love and surely plain ole sex, you know being divine and all. This is why I find the idea of the Sensei to be strange. I see the Emprah less like Zeus and more like the Abrahamic God, i.e. not suspectible to most desires.
28444
Post by: DarknessEternal
asimo77 wrote: This is why I find the idea of the Sensei to be strange. I see the Emprah less like Zeus and more like the Abrahamic God, i.e. not suspectible to most desires.
Tough crap; he was a man, with man-like desires, for 40 thousand years before he was a god. That's why he's got all those unknown kids running around, kinda like a professional athlete.
4820
Post by: Ailaros
Hmm, I hadn't thought about this before. After weighing the responses, the most convincing one to me so far is that he was gay. I mean, he spent a huge amount of time cultivating close personal relationships with strong men.
Also, look at the primarchs. If he wanted to preserve his breeding (ugh, I've been reading too much Dune lately), he could have carefully selected women to bring certain genetic patterns to make a new race of humans even more ultimate with himself.
Instead, he jerks off in a cup...
31733
Post by: Brother Coa
bob the heretic wrote:Guys just tell me he is not virgin! I just began to collect Blood Angels and quit Deth Guard. If he is truely a virgin im going back to the Death Guards. No Way Im fighting for a thousand year old virgin
He is definitely not a virgin since he had F***ed Chaos Gods
40749
Post by: SomeRandomEvilGuy
DarknessEternal wrote:
Tough crap; he was a man, with man-like desires, for 40 thousand years before he was a god. That's why he's got all those unknown kids running around, kinda like a professional athlete.
Although in fairness, that is I believe from the perspective of that traitor Human who loves trailing after the Harlequins. He's not necessarily being told the correct information.
Ailaros wrote:I mean, he spent a huge amount of time cultivating close personal relationships with strong men.
So like any father of multiple sons then? Like any soldier? Let's face it, the fact that he creating and training superhuman warriors is hardly proof that he was homosexual. I mean, it's possible, but I really don't see any evidence for it, especially since we know next to nothing about his personal life.
42777
Post by: Corporal_Reznov
The fact of the matter is that the God-Emperor is 49,000 years old and was born on earth in Central Anatolia 8000 years before Christ. He couldn't have spent all that time plotting. For sure he probably got married, fell in love, had children and had affairs. Hell, I think that the Big-E has the power to shape shift into whatever form Big-E wanted, even female. Maybe thats why the Emp is so cold and emotionless, its because he is OLD and has watched all the people he loved and society's and eras he loved pass away into the ashes of time while he remains alone.
I think you guys and gals are jealous of the Emp seeing as if he has probably had all the women. He had African, American, Asian, European and Arab women in his bed over the centuries and if he can shapshift he also had lesbian sex. He is a true god, the God Emperor of Studs. Bow all you wretched Xenos(myself included) and Heretics, bow and beg for tips on how to get women. The Emp may take pity on you and give some advice.
22627
Post by: Grabzak Dirtyfighter
maybe when he got too tensed up from running the universe and all he just made 2AM booty calls to slaanesh
22289
Post by: EmilCrane
biccat wrote:There's a very simple answer to this question, and I'm surprised no one has hit on it yet.
There are no women in 40k.
Oh, there might be the occasional Sister of Battle or remembrancer, but for the most part, women simply don't exist in the IoM.
This.
40749
Post by: SomeRandomEvilGuy
Corporal_Reznov wrote:Maybe thats why the Emp is so cold and emotionless, its because he is OLD and has watched all the people he loved and society's and eras he loved pass away into the ashes of time while he remains alone.
The Emperor isn't emotionless. His major flaw was emotions, much like most humans, which led him to value some sons over others, and even rendering him almost incapable of killing his favoured son when his own life was on the line. Unless you mean after him being placed on the Golden Throne, in which case I think constant agony is a fair enough reason.
34399
Post by: EpicMoose
I think it's probably either:
he doesn't have time (you know with being awesome and stuff)
or he doesn't want to think about a divorce,what about the rights to his kids?
As in he'd be like okay you can have sanguinius and Rowboat the're a bit weird, but I want Russ and Dorn
28444
Post by: DarknessEternal
SomeRandomEvilGuy wrote:[ His major flaw was emotions,
Well, his major flaw was that he was a tremendous douchebag with no interpersonal skills.
40749
Post by: SomeRandomEvilGuy
DarknessEternal wrote:
Well, his major flaw was that he was a tremendous douchebag with no interpersonal skills.
Well I wouldn't necessarily go that far; after all, we've yet to see his side of the story. Even still, I'd say his seeming lack of interpersonal skills with some Primarchs was due to his emotions - he clearly had a favourite, and it's entirely possible that anger or frustration at the actions of some would make him less inclined to actually do things the nice way. Lorgar, for instance, may have incredibly infuriated him, leading to a zero tolerance style thing. If Horus had started worshipping the Emperor, I doubt the same result would have occurred.
30294
Post by: Nightbringer's Chosen
Man. If he got divorced, she'd get half of...everything.
Harsh.
36011
Post by: xXSir MontyXx
DarknessEternal wrote:SomeRandomEvilGuy wrote:[ His major flaw was emotions,
Well, his major flaw was that he was a tremendous douchebag with no interpersonal skills.
Yeah I have heard that women don't like men like that.
Oh by the way; DIE FOR YOUR HERETIC TONGUE!!!!!!!!
10387
Post by: SabrX
The Emperor isn't interested in women. He has his eyes set on men! Big beefy masculine genetically enhanced men! 100,000 of them!
42440
Post by: Holy_doctrine
Well, I hate to sound like this but what would be the point? To watch your loved one age before your eyes as you remain young and healthy, and to see them perish?
40758
Post by: UselessSage
DarknessEternal wrote:Well, his major flaw was that he was a tremendous douchebag with no interpersonal skills.
AKA, the characteristic that The Lion inherited. Automatically Appended Next Post: No way Big-E is, uhh, Fabulously Advantaged(tm). We all have seen the IoM's taste in interior design.
10928
Post by: Elector
He's essentially immortal and lived for tens of thousands of years, while he would have children (doesn't have to worry about living with the consequences, just wait 60 years or so), having a lasting mate would be
a) impossible due to longevity (if you marry a girl and you're both in your twenties, and you stay in your twenties while she grow old, would you stay interested?), and
b) He's seen the best and worst of humanity's growth as a civilization, when you've gone through all that, you also lose interest in a lasting mate.
and finally, he has the psychic powers that could rival a god. Any mortal women (or man, as the case may be) is uninteresting sexually when you realize you can bend reality as a hobby.
20243
Post by: Grey Templar
the Emperor had various mates throughout history and had many natural children(male and female)
His Sons all inherited strong psychic ability.
no word on what the girls got.
all of them are also immortal.
43199
Post by: Pvt. Crowbar
Grey Templar wrote:the Emperor had various mates throughout history and had many natural children(male and female)
His Sons all inherited strong psychic ability.
no word on what the girls got.
all of them are also immortal.
The girls or the sons? I would think only the Sensei were immortal, not the mates.
20243
Post by: Grey Templar
yeah, just the Sensei.
43071
Post by: Nightwalker
He is a monk, do you see Space Marine with wives?
25543
Post by: TyraelVladinhurst
Nightwalker wrote:He is a monk, do you see Space Marine with wives?
wives, no but chaos marines very clearly admit to raping people
40376
Post by: Commisar Von Humps
TyraelVladinhurst wrote:Nightwalker wrote:He is a monk, do you see Space Marine with wives?
wives, no but chaos marines very clearly admit to raping people
But..uh... aren't space marine rendered...errm "Weaponless"? After the procedure? Not that Slannesh couldn't give them a slimy and slippery tube like arm or two
40758
Post by: UselessSage
Did any of the Primarchs spawn? I am assuming not. There is some potentially humorous fluff there. Yes, they are demi-gods amongst men, but they all are disinterested in the ladies or fire blanks. The different cultures on the various planets that the Primarchs landed must have viewed the lack of their potency in bed differently.
20243
Post by: Grey Templar
Commisar Von Humps wrote:TyraelVladinhurst wrote:Nightwalker wrote:He is a monk, do you see Space Marine with wives?
wives, no but chaos marines very clearly admit to raping people
But..uh... aren't space marine rendered...errm "Weaponless"? After the procedure? Not that Slannesh couldn't give them a slimy and slippery tube like arm or two
common misconception.
they are armed,
the real question is "are they firing blanks?"
Marines don't lose their junk. they are most likely rendered sterile by the process though and they certaintly lose sexual drive(except for Space Wolves, who rut like...well, dogs)
Slannesh can return their lost libedo Automatically Appended Next Post: UselessSage wrote:Did any of the Primarchs spawn? I am assuming not. There is some potentially humorous fluff there. Yes, they are demi-gods amongst men, but they all are disinterested in the ladies or fire blanks. The different cultures on the various planets that the Primarchs landed must have viewed the lack of their potency in bed differently.
Russ certaintly didn't. he was quite the ladies man.
13817
Post by: Carlovonsexron
When you're the Emperor of mankind, why have a wife when you can have a harem? Why would you marry when at best they will die and the love placed in them lost, and at worst they become a liability as people use her as a way to get to you.
I don't see why the Emperor would marry under those respects - I certainly wouldnt.
35132
Post by: Smitty0305
Pretty sure the Emporer is Gay......
30294
Post by: Nightbringer's Chosen
Smitty0305 wrote:Pretty sure the Emporer is Gay......
Doesn't "The Golden Throne" just sound like a somewhat suspect club? Like some kind of euphemism you don't quite get but that still makes you a bit wary?
20243
Post by: Grey Templar
nah, the Emperor caught the Flu-bug from Horus that Nurgle gave him.
the Emperor has been sitting on the royal john ever since.
41558
Post by: thefarseerofnorthryde
Maybe he was gay
13817
Post by: Carlovonsexron
Wouldnt they be talking about his attraction to men if he was gay? As it is, the Emperors sexuality is never actually brought up...
20243
Post by: Grey Templar
except for the fact he had children.
clearly not gay.
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
Grey Templar wrote:except for the fact he had children.
Whose to say his genetic modification stopped with creating superhumans? What's to say that he didn't.. experiment.. on his boyfriends?
29531
Post by: chobarba
 mabye he is to busy sitting on the golden "throne"
35132
Post by: Smitty0305
Carlovonsexron wrote:Wouldnt they be talking about his attraction to men if he was gay? As it is, the Emperors sexuality is never actually brought up...
Why do you think the Inquisition was created....It was to kill anyone who spoke out against the emporer being a homo.
10928
Post by: Elector
I don't believe he's gay: According to Lexicanum (referring to the Sensei and thev Star Child), "Although a man of unparalleled, god-like powers, the Emperor was still a man, and throughout the many millennia of his life on Terra had fathered many children. A few of their descendants had inherited some of the Emperor's power, including agelessness, and survive into the Age of the Imperium. "
I just don't think he'd have a last relationship given his power. This thread is being de-railed a bit here.
34644
Post by: Mr Nobody
A god is above such carnal thoughts of us mortals.
30294
Post by: Nightbringer's Chosen
Mr Nobody wrote:A god is above such carnal thoughts of us mortals.
Tell that to Slaanesh.
25543
Post by: TyraelVladinhurst
Mr Nobody wrote:A god is above such carnal thoughts of us mortals.
tell that to any of the Greek and Roman gods
27987
Post by: Surtur
The God Emperor is Al Bundy. He just wants to sit and watch TV and for Peg and the kids to shut up.
6145
Post by: Gitkikka
The Emperor's policy is "Bros before hos".
36094
Post by: DickBandit
Back in his fraternity days he was an animal.
30256
Post by: Brotherjulian
Why have a nagging wife when you can pick and choose whoever you like for the bedchamber and then send them off again honored to serve the Big E? Might have had a harem of his favorites around but Big E enjoyed being a bachelor
-edit this theory works just well whatever his preference might have been
42985
Post by: liturgies of blood
I assume the reason the emperor never had an emperess is that he doesn't tell anyone his name. As per prospero burns chaos can't get you if they don't know your name, also his partner is a target and allthat stuff about how you don't want to see more loved ones die after a few hundred years.
Any kids the emperor would have wouldn't be a primarch they'd have the potential for psycic powers and all that but primarchs are more or less clones of daddy.
41245
Post by: tarnish
they simply call her the plot hole... pun intended
29408
Post by: Melissia
Holy_doctrine wrote:Well, I hate to sound like this but what would be the point? To watch your loved one age before your eyes as you remain young and healthy, and to see them perish?
If he can create an non-aging genetically modified army of superfreak men, surely he can create a superfreaky non-aging genetically modified woman? Or change one to be as such? Or give her lots of rejuvenation treatments?
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Post by: asimo77
Wouldn't he be using his own gene-seed/DNA for his genetically enhanced super wife? That would be...weird.
5182
Post by: SlaveToDorkness
Um, because he's the smartest man that ever lived?
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Post by: Melissia
SlaveToDorkness wrote:Um, because he's the smartest man that ever lived?
Smart people get lonely too.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
asimo77 wrote:Wouldn't he be using his own gene-seed/DNA for his genetically enhanced super wife? That would be...weird.
Weirder than creating a race of all-male, bald, aging, musclebound superbeings that reproduces by implanting their "geneseed" into drugged up young boys?
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Post by: SlaveToDorkness
Yes, but do smart people subject themselves to an eternity with the same person or losing half of their Imperium of Man?
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Post by: Melissia
SlaveToDorkness wrote:Yes, but do smart people subject themselves to an eternity with the same person or losing half of their Imperium of Man?
Yes?
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Post by: Hawkward
The answer is obvious, my friends: the Emperor is hopelessly awkward and has the social grace of a dead squirrel.
You think it was bad when you accidentally touched that cute girl's boob? When the Emperor did it, He accidentally crushed her sternum. Another time, He blinded a cute blonde with His holy aura. The only woman the Emperor got close to scoring with got pulverized by His massive pelvis.
Poor Emperor.
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
Hawkward wrote:The only woman the Emperor got close to scoring with got pulverized by His massive pelvis.
He did what now to his daughter?! Sanguinius always seemed so happy.. who could've known there was a history of abuse?
20243
Post by: Grey Templar
the Emperor wasn't happy about Sanguinious's liasons with Corax, so he decided to teach her a "lesson"
but the Emperor didn't find out about Corax and Sanguinious's child untill years later.
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
Grey Templar wrote:the Emperor wasn't happy about Sanguinious's liasons with Corax, so he decided to teach her a "lesson"
but the Emperor didn't find out about Corax and Sanguinious's child untill years later.
Now that I think about it.. the Emperor was a right evil bastard. Just look at that time he let his pet mutant-witch-cyclops-thing get mauled by a vicious pack of space puppies.
It's no wonder there was a heresy.. Horus found out about all this abuse and decided to rebel. But the big E, being the evil bastard that he was, used his daughter as a meat shield, resulting in Horus accidentally killing her.
39529
Post by: gaovinni
Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.
Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.
39529
Post by: gaovinni
Darkvoidof40k wrote:gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.
Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.
Maybe she wants everybody to think that nobody is running the Imperium.
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
gaovinni wrote:Darkvoidof40k wrote:gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.
Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.
Maybe she wants everybody to think that nobody is running the Imperium.
Yes.. so that whilst everybody is busy thinking nobody is running the Imperium, she can be off not running the Imperium and instead going on endless shopping sprees and other pointless shenanigans understood only by the female gender of our race.
39529
Post by: gaovinni
Darkvoidof40k wrote:gaovinni wrote:Darkvoidof40k wrote:gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.
Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.
Maybe she wants everybody to think that nobody is running the Imperium.
Yes.. so that whilst everybody is busy thinking nobody is running the Imperium, she can be off not running the Imperium and instead going on endless shopping sprees and other pointless shenanigans understood only by the female gender of our race.
Exactly.
Well seriously I don't really think he ever had any interest like that at any point. He was too busy with creating the Imperium and such.
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Post by: asimo77
Weirder than creating a race of all-male, bald, aging, musclebound superbeings that reproduces by implanting their "geneseed" into drugged up young boys?
Well assuming he didn't have sex with his SM's and he will have intercourse with his created wife, then yes it's a whole lot weirder. It's like incest maybe?
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Post by: Jaon
I really can't imagine intercourse with Big E'. I mean...I'm a guy...but imagine being humped into smush and blasted by...you know.... the size of heavy bolter rounds!
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Post by: tigonesskay
Maybe having a wife would make the emperor seem "too human" and not a god?
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Post by: DickBandit
gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.
No but she's getting half of it in court!
BUH DUM TISH!! Automatically Appended Next Post: Jaon wrote:I really can't imagine intercourse with Big E'. I mean...I'm a guy...but imagine being humped into smush and blasted by...you know.... the size of heavy bolter rounds!
Hey, some chics in real life fancy horses.
Not saying all of 'em live though...
25727
Post by: Darkvoidof40k
tigonesskay wrote:Maybe having a wife would make the emperor seem "too human" and not a god?
The Emperor never wanted to be seen/worshipped as a God.
43032
Post by: King Pariah
He obviously prefered harems. Look at all the Sensei up and about.
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Post by: Nightbringer's Chosen
King Pariah wrote:He obviously prefered harems. Look at all the Sensei up and about.
Nah. Only had sex once. He just has litters.
43032
Post by: King Pariah
Nightbringer's Chosen wrote:King Pariah wrote:He obviously prefered harems. Look at all the Sensei up and about.
Nah. Only had sex once. He just has litters.
Are you saying *shudders* Octo-mom?
24020
Post by: vitki
That's where the whole 'Exterminate the Xenos' thing comes from.
HE once met a nice eldar and fell in love. One he found out the she eldar was a he, it all fell apart.
Cue shower scene and the Emp crying his eyes out. Then killing every alien he can get his hands on.
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Post by: Da Butcha
Maybe he never had an Empress because an Empress would be a weak link. He's the incredibly powerful Emperor of Mankind. If he falls in love with some woman, she's going to be a target, whether for kidnapping or assassination. If he's willing to sacrifice so much to guide humanity, I can't see that he wouldn't be willing to sacrifice love, too.
And if he doesn't love her, then why would he make her the Empress, and not just some concubine?
I suspect, however, that given his insanely long lifespan, he has probably had more than a few wives (wasn't he Winston Churchill?), and simply doesn't feel the need for that after thousands of years.
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Post by: Melkhiordarkblade
Empress:"Remember Honey, you have to be home by 8 so we can repaint the den."
Big E:"But I have to cleanse the xenos from the galaxy with my Primarchs."
Empress:"Don't you But me Mister,I am your wife and you will be back at 8."
Big E:"yes dear"
The real reason for a lack of an Empress.
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Post by: Grey Templar
the Emperor isn't really on the Golden Throne, its a dummy.
he just came home late and his punishment was having to wash the Palaces dishes. he's still washing them
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