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Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/08 14:12:16


Post by: Kilkrazy


I always like to see the small local newspapers on my travels as they often contain weird stories that have great significance locally but would not register on the national press.

This week's Henley Standard front page is one of the best ever...

http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=1310323

Local stories for local people!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/08 14:35:54


Post by: reds8n


my all time favourite

As you can see it's all kicking off in Kent !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/08 14:58:49


Post by: Dreadclaw69


The Great Custard Calamity will be hard to beat

This is one of my favourites
Kalamazoo, MI – The “deer in trunk not dead” video has become viral, spreading all over the internet. Some people say it’s popularity is due to the “dead” deer video resembling a scene from the Chris Farley comedy movie Tommy Boy.

As previously reported by The Inquisitr, deer videos tend to be popular. Once, a deer was caught running into a cyclist during the 2013 Monster Cross and Mountain Bike race in Virginia. Another video shows a helicopter blowing a deer to safety off of a frozen lake.

Michigan has 2 million deer, which cause more than 60,000 crashes each year, and dead deer roadkill meat can be kept if the incident is reported … assuming that the dead deer does not suddenly arise and escape from the trunk.

Just don’t donate any roadkill deer meet to charity in Louisiana, since state law forbids the serving of venison at homeless shelters. The Louisiana Health Department actually forced a homeless mission to destroy $8,000 worth of deer meat. But back to the new video…

In the middle of the night Tuesday, two agents patrolling the area had spotted a man sitting in his car outside the Red Roof Inn in Kalamazoo. The motorist asked permission to keep the dead deer for its meat. So the officer asked to see the dead deer in the trunk to make sure it was tagged and accounted for.

The supposedly “dead” deer suddenly leaped from the trunk, fell to the ground, but quickly got back up to run into the woods. The driver, who has not been named, was said to be “lost for words.”

What do you think about the “deer in trunk not dead” video?




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/08 15:16:33


Post by: d-usa


Not as much the story, but the headline.

Back in 2000 a good friend of mine committed suicide. The local newspaper that ran the story used a horrible stupid headline that I can now find funny:

Dead Body found in Cemetery


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/08 15:31:40


Post by: LuciusAR


If you follow Viz Comic on Facebook or Twitter you will find tons of these.

I'm afraid my all time favorite is NSFW because the headline is a filthy double entendre made from a rather tedious story about job losses at a local factory.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
Actually I remember a mind bogglingly daft headline in a local rag a few years ago that simply asked the question "Will nursery attract Paedos?"



Now this just seems like a silly question to ask, especially when you consider that pretty much every town in the country will have several nurseries. My guess is that a local group where looking to oppose the building of the nursery for other reasons and where just resorting to a paedophile scare story is a desperate attempt to get it blocked.

However my favorite part of the headline is that by using the abbreviation 'paedo' instead of the full word 'paedophile' what they are basically end up asking is 'will nursery attract children'.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/09 09:40:09


Post by: Jayce_The_Ace


 d-usa wrote:
Not as much the story, but the headline.

Back in 2000 a good friend of mine committed suicide. The local newspaper that ran the story used a horrible stupid headline that I can now find funny:

Dead Body found in Cemetery


Not one from around my way, but a funny headline I've heard was an unexploded shell was found on a beach, and the bomb disposal squad were called, and a keen young journalist covering the story came up with the headline - shell found on beach.

The only vaguely funny/dumb story I can think of is the time some builders were doing work on a site in Selby, and they uncovered what appeared to be a bomb. Bomb squad called, area cordoned off. Turns out it was part of a Citroen cars adjustable suspension system.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/09 09:57:23


Post by: Steve steveson


iPod Stolen from unlocked car. Major news in Shetland:

http://www.shetlandtimes.co.uk/2013/07/09/music-player-taken-from-car

An iPod Touch was taken from a car in the Tesco car park in Lerwick yesterday afternoon.

It was taken between 1.20pm and 2.20pm, police say.

It comes after police issued a warning over a spate of sneak-in thefts in the town last week. The force has urged motorists to lock their doors.

Anyone with information should contact Lerwick police station: 01595 692110.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/25 22:17:46


Post by: daedalus




Also, Chrissy Teigen...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/26 02:06:53


Post by: -Loki-




The first comment to the story is better than the story.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/07/27 20:13:03


Post by: 4oursword




Whitstable's parking can be a nightmare though. He's providing a vital service.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/02 12:52:36


Post by: reds8n




The people need to know !




Nearly a story there then !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/19 13:51:16


Post by: reds8n




Chemical weapons being used, gunmen on the rampage, party political conference season......


......But that’s not what’s making the news in Reigate......!




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/20 10:18:05


Post by: Snrub




EXCUSE ME WHILE I BASH MY HEAD ON THE DESK REPEATEDLY!

YES I AM YELLING. I NEED TO YELL SO I CAN BE HEARD OVER ALL OF THE STUPID.



Seriously Red, mate, you're killing me here. I just can't handle stuff like this.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/20 10:53:22


Post by: Dheneb


MY GRANDMOTHER READS THIS PAPER.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/20 11:07:58


Post by: reds8n





http://www.midsussextimes.co.uk/news/local/early-customers-find-boots-closed-1-3565203

Thankfully it opened later, thus disaster was averted !



http://www.eveningnews24.co.uk/news/picture_large_lorry_negotiates_tight_bend_in_north_walsham_1_1428586



A huge lorry is pictured negotiating the narrow turn from Church Street to Market Place in North Walsham.


A sight never before witnessed by mortal man !




To this day we just don't know if the hat was ever reunited with it's careless owner.





A MAN aged 60 had to be rescued by firefighters after he accidentally locked himself in his lavatory at his home in Church Street, Whitstable, on Monday night.
The alarm was raised by a passer-by who heard his shouts for help. Firefighters broke into the bathroom to get him out.


http://www.thisiskent.co.uk/Man-stuck-toilet/story-13688351-detail/story.html#axzz2MfMUvd00 Once again the curse of Whitstable strikes !



.. but you'll note some people get their hats back ! It's discrimination.

Possibly.





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/20 13:25:52


Post by: Kilkrazy


Mystery of mock post box on bridge

http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=1343832



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/20 13:33:12


Post by: Snrub


... What's wrong with you Brits. Why can't you just have normal news like everyone else. Why do you gotta have this crazy gak about bridge postboxes and fake smoke clouds AND HATS!!?!??! WOMEN PLEASE CONTROL YOUR HATS for crying out softly







... wow.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/26 12:35:45


Post by: reds8n





Investigative journalism at its finest.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/09/26 13:04:59


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


 reds8n wrote:





To this day we just don't know if the hat was ever reunited with it's careless owner.







I love the fact that the lady who found the garment identified herself as "Bromance"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/03 17:25:13


Post by: reds8n


Just imagine how awful this could have been !

Phew ! Once again the world dodges another disaster and yet will you hear about this in the lamestream media ? Course not !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/04 01:44:12


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


 reds8n wrote:
Just imagine how awful this could have been !

Phew ! Once again the world dodges another disaster and yet will you hear about this in the lamestream media ? Course not !



Why were they calling a jersey a "jumper" ?? That sounds absolutely nothing like a sporting item.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/04 02:03:12


Post by: RatBot


Good God, red, is all this a joke? Is that town really that dull?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/04 02:27:28


Post by: purplefood


 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
 reds8n wrote:
Just imagine how awful this could have been !

Phew ! Once again the world dodges another disaster and yet will you hear about this in the lamestream media ? Course not !



Why were they calling a jersey a "jumper" ?? That sounds absolutely nothing like a sporting item.

Because it's a jumper... not a jersey...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/04 07:39:16


Post by: reds8n



A sweater with an open front fastened by buttons or a zipper is generally called a cardigan, but the nomenclature for other styles in different dialects can be quite confusing. In standard English, a sweater may also be called a pullover, jumper or jersey. In the US however, "jumper" refers to a style of women's sleeveless dress, and "jersey" refers to a knit shirt, especially if part of an athletic uniform. If sleeveless, such a garment may be called a tank top in British English, while "tank top" in US English refers to a sleeveless shirt or undershirt. In the US and in Australian English, a sleeveless sweater may also be called a sweater vest, especially if it has a V-neck and somewhat formal appearance resembling a formal vest, a garment known as a waistcoat in the UK. In British English, "vest" refers to an undershirt. In South African English, a sweater is always called a jersey. In the sport of ice hockey, the top of a hockey player's uniform had traditionally been a sweater; and even though modern hockey uniform tops are more commonly a jersey they are typically referred to as a hockey sweater, regardless of the style.
Customary wear


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweater


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/04 07:48:53


Post by: fishy bob




When these boys were gonna check out CDs on their lunch break.... the store had closed for the day!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/04 15:01:45


Post by: Snrub


Ok wow... That picture is freaking me out.

The black kid looks like the son of one of my highschool teachers.
The kid in the black looks like me when i was about 10, but blonde.
The kid behind him looks like someone i went to school with.
and the beenie toting kid looks like one of my brothers friends.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/06 20:13:45


Post by: Kilkrazy


What about a tank top?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/13 16:28:58


Post by: Hlaine Larkin mk2


Well the news in Swansea looks thrilling


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/10/14 01:08:06


Post by: Snrub


Ok how can it be that it's 2013 and there is a council, even a small out of the way council, without a colour photocopier?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/18 08:48:45


Post by: reds8n


http://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/Stoke-Trent-woman-puts-intu-Potteries-shopping/story-20072369-detail/story.html



The Sentinel's own Ange Hopwood accidentally halted an escalator at the Potteries Centre by jamming her high-heeled shoe in it.

Mrs Hopwood, of Lightwood, who works on field sales in The Sentinel's advertising department, had taken a call yesterday and got on an escalator, only to find her heel was trapped.

"As I was moving up I realised I was stuck," said Mrs Hopwood. "I just had to stand there because I couldn't take my foot out of my shoe.

"People were watching as if to say: What are you doing?"
Eventually Mrs Hopwood was able to get her foot out, but with security and maintenance staff unable to remove the shoe, the escalator's direction had to be reversed in order to prise the heeled shoe away.

Mrs Hopwood revealed the full extent of the damage to her shoe, with the repair costs to fix the escalator not yet verified: "My heel was completely shredded but luckily they were not too expensive, they cost around £40.

"There is a metal tip on the heel which probably damaged the escalator."

The field sales executive, known for her love of high heeled shoes, added she has not been put off wearing that type of footwear.

"Everyone I've told thinks it's hilarious," she said. "I just felt really embarrassed."

A statement from intu Potteries read: "We have successfully repaired an escalator in our centre after a customer accidentally wedged a stiletto-style heel in the fins of one of the escalator steps.

"The centre team assisted the customer, who was unharmed in the incident, and business in the centre continues as normal."


A harrowing tale indeed.

Thankfully the NHS will ensure all involved get counselling.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/18 11:56:41


Post by: Hlaine Larkin mk2


Scots man appears in court for attacking a woman with a lightsaber
A MAN appeared in court yesterday accused of attacking a woman – with a lightsaber.

James Williamson is alleged to have used the Star Wars-inspired weapon during one of two attacks he carried out on the same day.

Williamson allegedly used the lightsaber to repeatedly strike Natalie Brennan on the legs at her home in Perth on July 26.

He appeared at the city’s sheriff court yesterday and denied attacking Natalie and breaking into her home.

He denies assaulting her in Dunsinane Drive by repeatedly striking her on the legs with a belt and a lightsaber and repeatedly biting her neck and arms to her injury.

He also denies breaking a window and climbing into her home before threatening Natalie with violence.

Williamson also denies attacking Natalie a second time on the same day by seizing her hair and kicking her on the body to her injury.

He is also accused of barricading himself in the flat and brandishing a knife at police.

The case was continued to be heard by a jury and Williamson was remanded in custody


http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/scots-man-appears-court-attacking-2688361


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/20 09:52:19


Post by: PredaKhaine



VANDALS who desecrated Burton’s war memorial less than a week after its remembrance ceremony have been labelled as ‘mindless and despicable’.

Members of Burton Royal British Legion and town MP Andrew Griffiths hit out after poppy wreaths laid at Burton war memorial were damaged and thrown about by ‘callous morons’.

Now, calls have been made to beef up security at the Lichfield Street site to make sure this ‘never happens again’.

Anne Compton, Burton branch secretary and Poppy Appeal organiser for the town, said: “It is a despicable act that shows no respect for people who gave their lives for this country.

“I can’t believe that someone can physically do what they did.

“To desecrate this place is bad enough but to do it less than a week after we stood at the memorial to honour all members of the armed forces is disgusting and unforgivable.

“The problem is we will never catch those who were responsible and this is why we need better security at the memorial.

“If this was in place, then maybe incidents likes this would not happen.

“We will clean up the mess and tidy the memorial but this is something that should never have to be done. It is place to honour those who have given their lives so that we have ours and the world is a worse off place due to the mindless and callous morons who have done this.”

Staffordshire Police told the Mail that it had no reports of any vandalism or theft from the war memorial.

MP Andrew Griffiths told the Mail: “I am shocked and disgusted by this act.

“Coming less than a week after people young and old in the town gathered together our armed force, it is despicable.

“It is horrible to think that people can even comprehend undertaking these kind of malicious actions.

“I now hope the police will investigate and bring those responsible to justice and punish them.”




Read more: http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/News/MP-and-armed-forces-charity-hit-out-at-moron-vandals-who-desecrated-Burton-war-memorial-20131116080000.htm#ixzz2lCCzpK78



http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/News/MP-and-armed-forces-charity-hit-out-at-moron-vandals-who-desecrated-Burton-war-memorial-20131116080000.htm




Mother nature at fault for war memorial mess


POLICE officers have called off an investigation into vandalism at Burton’s war memorial after the culprit was caught on camera - mother nature.

Staffordshire Police revealed that after searching through hours of CCTV footage from the Lichfield Street site they had caught the perpetrator red handed.

A sustained gale saw strong winds dislodge more than a dozen poppy wreaths and scatter them about the site, with some even being damaged.

This led to fears being raised that the memorial had been the target of vandals less than a week after remembrance ceremonies were held across the area.

Now, town MP Andrew Griffiths told the Mail that people would be relieved that the issue was not the work of a ‘heartless vandal’.

He said: “I am sure it comes as a great relief to many people in the town that this was an act by mother nature rather a callous act of vandalism.

“Since the incident was reported, I have been inundated with calls from very distressed residents about this situation.

“It will be pleasing to be able to tell them what has happened and that this matter can be put to rest and we can go back to remembering and honouring those who have lost their lives while fighting for this country.”

Members of the Burton branch of the Royal British Legion cleaned and tidied up the site during the weekend.

Police said they were unaware of the incident when the Mail contacted them on Friday, but examination of CCTV footage has now revealed that the weather was to blame, with gusts blowing the wreaths from the memorial over Friday lunchtime.

Inspector Rob Neeson told the Mail: “You can see several wreaths being blown over and rolling off the steps.

“It’s quite probable that the cause of this was the wind.

“Everything is there to suggest that is the case.”



Read more: http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/News/Mother-nature-at-fault-for-war-memorial-mess-20131119080000.htm#ixzz2lB9AY000





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/20 14:13:52


Post by: hotsauceman1


I cant find the article, but the Headline Read
"Kicking baby considered health"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/20 15:32:23


Post by: Hlaine Larkin mk2




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/21 00:10:04


Post by: Snrub


Yuck.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/21 00:59:33


Post by: Dark Apostle 666


Well, the coke's not that surprising - you'd need to be coked-up to read through that drivel - but Jeez, getting herpes from a book? No thanks!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/21 13:44:02


Post by: reds8n


http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10817877.Crew_called_to_tackle_fire_in_Hastings_dog_bed/%20dom%20kaos/



Firefighters were called to a fire in a dog bed in the early hours of this morning (November 18).

A crew from Hastings station was called to a property in Carisbrooke Road shortly after 3.15am.

The blaze was all but out by the time they arrived and there were no reported injuries.


Phew ! A narrow escape there.


http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10816987.Horses_poo_on_Shoreham_s_new_footbridge/



The new Adur Ferry Bridge has been professionally cleaned just days after opening because horses have defecated on it.

Tens of thousands of pedestrians have already used the £9.8 million Shoreham footbridge since it opened last week - but it took just four horses to cause the damage.

Adur District Council leader Neil Parkin branded the actions of the people “stupid and dangerous”.

He said: “The chairman of the council had seen two silly people with their horses on the bridge on Saturday.

“They were then writing on Facebook about what they had done. They were bragging about it. But the horses had pooed all over the bridge.

“They were lucky to get lucky away with it. The horses could have bolted.

“The Worthing and Adur Tidy Clean agreed to go down on Sunday and clean it up. Bless 'em.”

He said they were set to return to the bridge yesterday and use high-pressure hoses to wash away the remaining mess.

He added: “It's beyond silly. It is stupid and dangerous. If the horses had seen the river they could have gone in - with the riders.

“Now signage is being put up informing people it's not a bridle path.”

Scores of people also took to social networking sites to complain. One man said: “I love horses, but you have to admit it was a bit off letting them **** on the new bridge on the first week of it being open.”

One of the horse-rider's mothers said she had reported people's comments to Sussex Police.

Stephanie Whibley said on the social networking site she felt her daughter, Holly Whibley, was being abused.

Yesterday she told The Argus: “It was a beautiful day and as a group we thought we would take part in the celebrations.

id not say we couldn't ride across the bridge and, as we could the old one, we thought it was ok.

“The majority of people enjoyed the sight and thought it was lovely. Unfortunately, as nature is unstoppable, two of the horses left a deposit.

“The social media is wonderful when used right. However this was a witch hunt.”

An Adur and Worthing Council spokesman, who said she could not estimate how much the clean-up cost, said: “We don't normally cover the bridge as this is the responsibility of West Sussex County Council but we noticed it needed cleaning and on this occasion we gave it a wash."



A sticky situation indeed.



Meanwhile in South Africa ..




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/27 12:36:56


Post by: reds8n




http://usvsth3m.com/post/68058639460/local-newspaper-confuses-goat-slaying-demon-with

Chupacabra ... Chimichanga .. easy mistake to make.

One would suggest the latter roaming around would in fact be more of a story.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/11/27 12:54:01


Post by: Evil_Toast


 reds8n wrote:

Meanwhile in South Africa ..




Pfft.

Lightning, natures last unsolvable mystery.

Spoiler:
Eshowe - KwaZulu-Natal MEC for co-operative governance and traditional affairs Nomsa Dube on Monday called on the national department of science and technology to investigate the causes of lightning after seven people in lightning strikes.

"We will do an investigation and talk to the department of science and technology on what is the cause of the lightning," said Dube.

She was visiting Mpumazi in Eshowe where seven people from two families died after being struck by lightning on Sunday.

"Scientists from the department could perhaps help us and come up with instruments that could help community members protect themselves against lightning.

"The department has dealt with floods and fires, but lightning was new to us," said Dube.

On Sunday four members of the Cele family, Samke, two, Lindani, 12, Zandile, 37, and Edith, 57, were killed when lightning struck their rondavel which burnt to ashes.

A surviving member of the family, Philani, said he had carried the bodies of his dead family members out of the rondavel.

"It started raining yesterday around 15:00, we were all from church, then there was lightning which struck the house and there was a fire.

"I ran out of the house and later noticed that my family was still inside, I went back and carried them out," said Philani.

He said among the dead were his mother, son, brother and aunt.

Dube was expected to visit the second family later on Monday where three people died.


- SAPA




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/12/04 12:33:38


Post by: reds8n


http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10842150.Crystal_Palace_to_stay_up__aliens_tell_Bromley_woman_who__used_to_be_Joan_of_Arc_/?ref=mr






A BROMLEY spiritual healer who claims she used to be Joan of Arc says aliens have told her Crystal Palace will stay in the Premier League.

Stephany Cohen is in constant communication with extra terrestrial races, including Grays, Cat People and the half-reptile, half-alien Reptilians.

The 52-year-old says the aliens have taken a special interest in Earth, and regularly travel across space from their home in the Canis Major system.

And Grays, who have previously passed on advice for Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger, have reassured her that struggling Palace will steer clear of relegation this season.

She said: "They are being positive. Pulis has got a very good work ethic. His forte is defensive.

"Now what he needs to do is help the team by keeping clean sheets as much as possible between now and May.

"They need a good team spirit, a good work ethic and good defensive tactics from the manager. If they stick to that they will stay up.

"It will be hard work but it will pay off."

Miss Cohen, of Durham Avenue, says the space people have also shown her memories from a previous life, in which she was French folk heroine and Roman Catholic saint Joan of Arc.

She told News Shopper: "I asked the spirit to show me.

"They showed me being dragged with a great big metal pole.

"They were dragging me towards a fire - they were going to burn me. I was absolutely in pieces.

"I was really in a panic because I didn't want to feel the fire burning my body.

"When I was on the fire I suddenly saw a space open up in my mind.

"I walked through the door."

As well as finding out about her past, she added that she has also received a glimpse of Britain's future, with London mayor Boris Johnson, brother of Orpington MP Jo, set to lead the country.

She said: "They say that he will run for Prime Minister and he will win it.

"At first it will seem like a breath of fresh air but his policies will wrangle with the public.

"He may be amicable, lovable and intelligent, but that won't do.

"People want to see more done for education, the NHS, the elderly, poverty. People will not benefit from or like some of the policies that will be made."




I'm sure Palace fans will rest easy now.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/12/04 12:37:46


Post by: Hlaine Larkin mk2


Not sure I would like Boris as PM though


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/12/04 13:59:34


Post by: master of ordinance


 Hlaine Larkin mk2 wrote:
Not sure I would like Boris as PM though


Cant be worse than David Cammeron though.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/12/10 13:52:53


Post by: reds8n





technically from a National but...







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2013/12/10 14:49:11


Post by: Tibbsy


The editor was obviously having an off day when that got allowed through


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/01/13 13:59:18


Post by: reds8n





when oh when will the madness end !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/01/29 12:21:23


Post by: reds8n



Delving into the murky police records of Atherton, California. The town, located between the San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean, is home to Silicon Valley’s highest earners, making it the town with the highest average income in the entire USA. The feds have got it on lock…


























Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/01/29 12:48:55


Post by: Kilkrazy


Atherton needs a Bat-signal.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/01/29 13:07:41


Post by: reds8n


http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Police-deal-10-reports-involving-clown-Devon/story-20505893-detail/story.html

A lot of Coulrophobia sufferers in the west country then ?



Full list for the year 2013 of separate Devon and Cornwall police incidents containing the key word ‘clown’

Missing person with clown tattoo

Stolen gold clown necklace

Male causing traffic hazard wearing clown nose

Male causing traffic hazard wearing clown nose

Clown mask found at the scene of an assault

Third party report of a female having seen a male dressed as a clown

Allegation against male supposedly demanding youths dress up as a clown amongst other demands

Male suffering from mental health issues caused disruption whilst wearing a clown mask

Male received unexpected package containing clown doll

Allegation of assault on female by a male dressed as a clown




If it's a traffic hazard that clown nsoe must be pretty darn large.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/06 09:49:54


Post by: reds8n


http://www.thescarboroughnews.co.uk/news/local/scarborough-surf-festival-hailed-a-success-despite-lack-of-waves-1-6122353




The third Scarborough Surf Festival has been hailed a huge success despite a lack of waves preventing the UK surfing championships from going ahead.


More than 10,000 people flocked to North Bay at the weekend when the UK Professional Surf Tour returned to the North Bay.

Despite no surfing actually taking place, the crowds were able to enjoy a “festival atmosphere”, with a host of other activities and attractions on offer.




.. well I guess no one drowned anyway.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/07 17:32:48


Post by: Manchu


"Never, never, never give up."


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/09 11:07:47


Post by: reds8n







I know that one is wrong but










Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/10 03:06:34


Post by: Khornholio




This could definitely happen.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/10 08:34:05


Post by: Kilkrazy


I get laver bread -- a Welsh version of nori seaweed -- delivered in tins by Amazon.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/10 09:04:29


Post by: paulson games


My Grandfather made the local paper for jumping up and racing out of the church during the middle of the sermon. He apparently shouted an obscenity during the process and returned about the time it was wrapping up, missing his eyebrows, most of his hair and having a suddenly red complexion.

The headline sated "Bob Paulson leaves Christmas service inappropriately". In the article blurb it gave a brief mention his disheveled return but no other details or explanations.


What the local paper didn't follow up on was why he tore out of there like a bat out of hell, at Christmas time he used to make a giant homemade batch of Swedish Glug that rivals only moonshine in it's ability to melt out your eyes and kill your liver. Part way through the sermon he remembered that he'd accidentally left it heating on the stove. Arriving back at home he attempted to lift the pot off the burner which caused some vapor to escape and the kitchen flash exploded. It lit half the room on fire and blasted off most of his hair and he was mostly deaf for several hours. All of which he couldn't care less about, instead he was mad as heck that his Glug was ruined.

My Grandpa was a riot and it was probably one of the best Christmas family gatherings I ever had.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/10 10:00:22


Post by: Tibbsy


 paulson games wrote:


What the local paper didn't follow up on was why he tore out of there like a bat out of hell, at Christmas time he used to make a giant homemade batch of Swedish Glug that rivals only moonshine in it's ability to melt out your eyes and kill your liver. Part way through the sermon he remembered that he'd accidentally left it heating on the stove. Arriving back at home he attempted to lift the pot off the burner which caused some vapor to escape and the kitchen flash exploded. It lit half the room on fire and blasted off most of his hair and he was mostly deaf for several hours. All of which he couldn't care less about, instead he was mad as heck that his Glug was ruined.




That sounds...

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

Like a blast.



YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/13 15:22:42


Post by: reds8n


The country is drowning.

We've had a few bomb scares around the place.


Seems DLT isn't a massive sex pest. Probably.

South Wales is gripped by a different story though

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Cardigan-worn-54-years/story-20550604-detail/story.html



A SWANSEA woman’s love affair with her cardigan shows no signs of unravelling.

Everyone has something that they can’t bear to get rid of — and for Pam Hopkins it has been her treasured cardigan, which she has kept for 54 years.

The yellow, green and brown cosy jumper has definitely stood the test of time, as it has remained in pristine condition.

Mrs Hopkins, from Llwyn Crwn Road, Llansamlet, said it was bought for her by her mother-in-law as Christmas present 54 years ago.

“It has never lost a button and is still intact since it was given to me,” she said.

“I was thrilled when she gave it to me. It is lovely. It is cosy and warm.

“I think it has worn quite well over the years.

“I still wear it after all these years.

“I don’t know where it is from but it could have been from David Evans department or from Lewis Lewis which was on High Street.

“Years ago you would just get all the posh shops.”

The 75-year-old, who has four children and eight grandchildren, said her family often tease her about her aging cardigan.

“They laugh at it,” she said. “They just think it is old fashioned.”

And to prove she still wears the cardigan — Mrs Hopkins has unearthed some pictures of her wearing it.

“The picture was taken a few years ago,” she said.

“After I lost my husband, I was just clearing things about and I came across the picture. I thought that I needed to keep it.”







That's the Pulitzer sorted then !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/13 18:37:22


Post by: Kilkrazy


The cardigan is proof that moths cannot do blind landings.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/17 10:50:10


Post by: reds8n


http://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire/firefighters-rescue-woman-from-baked-bean-tin-1-6443179

Phew ! A narrow escape there !

All involved will be offered counselling.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/02/17 11:33:24


Post by: Tibbsy


As much as I hate to laugh about a guy getting hospitalised, the irony is priceless.

http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/MAN-HURT-WINDS-LASH-CITY/story-20618641-detail/story.html

Summary for the work-blocked - A 60yr old is taken to hospital after being hit with a sign that fell down in the high winds.

The sign was an NHS sign, advising over 60's to visit their GP if they feel under the weather.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/04 14:07:15


Post by: reds8n




When will the violence end.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/04 14:33:16


Post by: Steve steveson


"Brackley ‘sinkhole’ is just a ‘hole’ says highways team."

http://www.banburyguardian.co.uk/news/local-news/update-brackley-sinkhole-is-just-a-hole-says-highways-team-1-5885538

Includes dramatic footage of a police van parked in the road by the hole!


Northants Highways has tonight (Tuesday) confirmed it is fixing a hole that appeared in a Brackley road earlier in the day.

Police were called to what was feared to be a sinkhole in Banbury Road at about 2.30pm today.

The hole, near the Banbury Road/Bridge Street crossing, measured just one foot in diameter but concern surrounded a potential void beneath the road.

However, Northants Highways has since confirmed it is simply a ‘hole’ and added that barriers will remain in place until the damage is repaired.




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/06 09:46:38


Post by: reds8n


Bit of a Kent special this time





TBF if it did happen then I guess that is actually news.





Terrifying. Best battenberg down the hatches.





maybe this explains the first story ?




THE HORROR.




i think "Riddle of the Albino squirrel" was one of the Jackson/Livingstone Fighting Fantasy books ?


I'm assuming that "Swiss balloon trip" is a euphemism for something that is still illegal in 17 states over the pond.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/06 09:54:22


Post by: Steve steveson


 reds8n wrote:

Terrifying. Best battenberg down the hatches.



 reds8n wrote:


i think "Riddle of the Albino squirrel" was one of the Jackson/Livingstone Fighting Fantasy books ?


Riddle? Is this some sort of freakish Sphinx/Golum melanin deprived squirrel thats terrorizing the local parks sitting in the tree demanding people answer riddles or be pelted with nuts?

 reds8n wrote:

I'm assuming that "Swiss balloon trip" is a euphemism for something that is still illegal in 17 states over the pond.


Possibly, but I'd rather someone more experienced.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/07 11:00:39


Post by: Kilkrazy


Don't take a Swiss Ballon Trip as you might damage your Shatner's Bassoon.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/07 11:05:53


Post by: Steve steveson


Is it more dangerous than loonytoad quack?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/13 10:26:10


Post by: Kilkrazy


The Metro is one of London's local papers, which means it is a huge paper, but this headline is too good to miss...

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/12/world-war-goat-is-this-the-best-newspaper-correction-ever-4544367/

The original interview.
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/11062014.Your_interview__Richard_Robinson__Brighton_Science_Festival/
The goat war bit is at the bottom.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/13 13:17:13


Post by: Khornholio


This is quickly becoming the best thread in OT.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/13 18:59:42


Post by: 4oursword


Not sure if this one has been posted, but still...

Rhian Jeremiah admits biting car after row in Aberystwyth


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/13 19:11:57


Post by: Kilkrazy


It's not apparent unless you are familiar with traditional Welsh names that Rhian is a lady.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/14 12:28:58


Post by: Flying Pooo


50 Shades of 'Straya!

This could be a whole thread on its own!
But it fits here.

While not technically local this part of the world is waaaaaaaaaay out there.

Oh NT News...
Snake slithers into Humpty Doo bed

Why I stuck a cracker up my clacker

NEWSPolice rush to scene after reports of 'baby sacrifice'

'Hello police? I'm lost in my garden' - man speaks

Bruce the dog offered a personal cheque by Darwin council for his testicles

The great escape: croc lock-up shock at Darwin Correctional Centre


NT is a funny place...

Spoiler:
























Thare has the be something in the water...

Oh, wait! There is...



In Northern Territory they ask the real questions...



And a little video...
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s3003584.htm


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/26 08:19:14


Post by: 4oursword


I feel like this little one needs to be shown. It's from 98 years ago, and happened near to me.
This 100-Year-Old Local Newspaper Story About A Mongoose Is Brilliant
Spoiler:


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/26 09:16:04


Post by: chromedog


"Water buffalo on the loose in Newtown"
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/water-buffalo-on-the-loose-in-newtown-20140325-35f4t.html

Newtown is an inner-city suburb of Sydney. Barely out of the CBD. Nowhere near the kind of bush you'd normally expect to see water buffalo in. The animals were being used in some kind of commercial shoot at a local park (former garbage landfill site and before that, a brickmaking pit).

The story says that local firemen managed to catch and herd them into someone's front yard (I used to live in this suburb and am having trouble visualising any of the front yards in the suburb large enough to house TWO water buffalo.)


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/26 12:49:40


Post by: reds8n


I thought the MOngoose story was going to be about

http://www.forteantimes.com/features/articles/4915/gef_the_talking_mongoose.html







...














Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/26 15:43:04


Post by: Tibbsy


Creperie battle?

Am I the only person who imagined some kind of pancake-based duel to the death?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/26 16:45:51


Post by: Manchu


Thought of you, KK:



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/28 22:03:40


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


The OP... "Chutney blew up my fridge".

I have at least 10 jars in my fridge. Should I be worried?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/03/28 22:46:14


Post by: Khornholio


I loved the Mongoose article. That dry humour is something special. But I really want to find out more about Dad's continued fight over mustache.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/04/04 12:28:42


Post by: Dreadclaw69


Looks like we have some competition for the humble apple pie



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/04/04 15:56:45


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


This happened in my town, just a 5 min walk from my home.

I think the Police should have issued an E-fit...


Northern Echo wrote:Police hunt Newton Aycliffe 'builder's bum' robber

POLICE have released CCTV stills of an armed robber in the hope someone can identify him - from his builder's bum!

The man - dressed in a black balaclava and wearing dark clothing jumped onto the counter of a petrol station brandishing a kitchen knife.

He demanded cash but the woman cashier at the Total Garage on St Cuthbert's Way in Newton Aycliffe, County Durham, refused and he fled empty handed.

Now police have released photos of the robbery in the hope someone may recognise the robber from his ill-fitting clothes - or any other distictive features.

The man, who struck on Friday, December 23 at around 8.30pm, is described as white, of medium build.

Detective inspector Caroline Dawson said: "Someone out there may have information that would assist in identifying the person who committed this crime and we would encourage them to come forward.

"We hope that by releasing images of the items of clothing worn during the robbery they may help us identify the man involved."

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/9457239.Police_hunt_armed__builder_s_bum__robbber/





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/06/27 11:35:32


Post by: reds8n


http://www.westbriton.co.uk/Village-lovely-new-bus-shelter-ndash-needs-bus/story-21288625-detail/story.html





A VILLAGE has been given a new bus shelter – despite having no bus service.

Bissoe, near Truro, was given the shelter by Cornish Concrete Products, which has its base in the village.

Despite the presence of the eye-catching new structure, no public buses serve the residents or businesses.

The firm said it had provided the shelter to try to help the local community.

Production manager Simon Lucas said: "We just want to help and improve the area.

"The old bus shelter was falling down and we thought it was starting to become a bit of a hazard. We approached the council and asked if we could provide a new one for nothing.

"They agreed but said it would have to be similar to the old one, so we made one the same size but carved the word 'Bissoe' into the front of it. "There's no real focal point to the village when people come here, so we thought this would mark it out."

A group has been set up on Facebook to try to get bus services to start serving the village again but, as yet, it has been unsuccessful.

Mr Lucas said: "We are aware there are no buses coming here at the moment but we'd like to hope that the new shelter might encourage them to come back.

"It would certainly help us if they did, as it would help our employees to get to work more easily if there was a bus service," he said.

Mr Lucas said the firm was keen to help provide other benefits to the village and local community.

"We want to try and do some more things in Bissoe to help," he said.

"We already help local businesses where we can by providing them with materials and other things free when they need them.

"It's just an opportunity for us to give something back, really."

Local resident Nicholas Richards said: "It's nice that Cornish Concrete Products have done it out of goodwill and it's nice the way that they have done it, but it seems quite ironic that we have this new shelter but no bus services."



I especially like "We are aware there are no buses coming here at the moment but we'd like to hope that the new shelter might encourage them to come back." which seems to suggest that Buses are in fact some form of native fauna, akin to badgers or red squirrels.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/06/27 11:43:55


Post by: Kilkrazy


It is not a very nice looking bus shelter though. This is the image I want for rural bus shelters. Better than most people's houses.



However if buses should start coming to the village again perhaps they could build a railway station.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/06/27 16:25:39


Post by: Dreadclaw69


 reds8n wrote:
http://www.westbriton.co.uk/Village-lovely-new-bus-shelter-ndash-needs-bus/story-21288625-detail/story.html



Spoiler:


A VILLAGE has been given a new bus shelter – despite having no bus service.

Bissoe, near Truro, was given the shelter by Cornish Concrete Products, which has its base in the village.

Despite the presence of the eye-catching new structure, no public buses serve the residents or businesses.

The firm said it had provided the shelter to try to help the local community.

Production manager Simon Lucas said: "We just want to help and improve the area.

"The old bus shelter was falling down and we thought it was starting to become a bit of a hazard. We approached the council and asked if we could provide a new one for nothing.

"They agreed but said it would have to be similar to the old one, so we made one the same size but carved the word 'Bissoe' into the front of it. "There's no real focal point to the village when people come here, so we thought this would mark it out."

A group has been set up on Facebook to try to get bus services to start serving the village again but, as yet, it has been unsuccessful.

Mr Lucas said: "We are aware there are no buses coming here at the moment but we'd like to hope that the new shelter might encourage them to come back.

"It would certainly help us if they did, as it would help our employees to get to work more easily if there was a bus service," he said.

Mr Lucas said the firm was keen to help provide other benefits to the village and local community.

"We want to try and do some more things in Bissoe to help," he said.

"We already help local businesses where we can by providing them with materials and other things free when they need them.

"It's just an opportunity for us to give something back, really."

Local resident Nicholas Richards said: "It's nice that Cornish Concrete Products have done it out of goodwill and it's nice the way that they have done it, but it seems quite ironic that we have this new shelter but no bus services."



I especially like "We are aware there are no buses coming here at the moment but we'd like to hope that the new shelter might encourage them to come back." which seems to suggest that Buses are in fact some form of native fauna, akin to badgers or red squirrels.

If you build it they will come.

When I first seen the pic I thought it was a re-purposed pillbox


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/06/27 18:40:10


Post by: reds8n


and one from across the pond ....

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/06/saginaw_republican_running_for.html




In the photo on the left, courtesy of the Michigan Department of Corrections, Jordan David Haskins can be seen before he began serving a yearlong term in state prison. On the right is a photograph of Haskins, taken by The Saginaw News after the then-23-year-old filed as the lone Republican candidate to run for the Michigan House of Representatives 95th District seat in 2014. (File | MLive.com)

SAGINAW, MI — Jordan D. Haskins cannot own a firearm. For the majority of his adult life, he could neither vote nor serve on a jury.

But a checkered past that includes stints in prison systems in two states and his current status as a parolee does not preclude the 24-year-old Saginaw man from running for office.

Haskins says he knows his criminal record works against him, but he's undeterred.

"Those are things that haunt me to this day," Haskins said. "I'm just trying to move on from that and do what I can."

Haskins' criminal charges stem from trespassing on private and public property in four cases from April 2010 to January 2011, when he was sent to prison. As part of the break-ins, he started vehicles to facilitate an uncommon sexual fetish Haskins called "cranking" in interviews with police.

Haskins says his life has changed and he hopes voters will see him not for what he once was, but for who he is and what he wants to do for his community.

"I have dreams, and I want to make a difference," he said.

Come November, Haskins will appear as the Republican candidate on the ballot seeking election to Michigan's 95th District House seat. State Rep. Stacy Erwin Oakes, D-Saginaw, created a wide-open race when she announced her plan to run for state Senate.

Haskins will face the winner of the August Democratic primary, in which Norman Braddock, a former Saginaw city councilman, and Bridgeport Township Trustee Vanessa Guerra are facing off.

Full coverage of the 95th State House District election
The 95th District consists of the cities of Saginaw and Zilwaukee and the townships of Kochville, Zilwaukee, Carrollton, Buena Vista, Bridgeport, Spaulding and James.

'Young and stupid'

Haskins' legal trouble dates to his teen years, prison records show.

Haskins said he has a juvenile record that includes break-in-related charges from when he was 15. He said he spent two days in a juvenile facility.

Haskins said his crimes focused mainly on breaking into cars and joyriding.

"I was just a lonely, angry kid at the time," he said. "If anything, I could be put on 'World's Dumbest Criminals.'"

Haskins said he was drawn to criminal behavior for the "the thrill."

I was in a messed-up state of mind mentally and emotionally when I did what I did. That's the only way I can even explain it. - Jordan Haskins
"I was bored," he said. "It was the rush."

Haskins grew up in Saginaw and lived in Raleigh, North Carolina, from 2006 to 2010.

North Carolina's Department of Public Safety reports a lengthy list of sentences to prison, county jail and probation for offenses Haskins committed in 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009. The offenses include breaking and entering, larceny and trespassing.

After moving to Michigan, Haskins faced multiple charges for similar offenses in 2010 and 2011.

Haskins was released from North Carolina's state prison system in August 2009.

Seven months later, he committed his first offense in Michigan. It resulted in a sentence of 55 days in jail, plus a probation term.

Misdemeanor charges of unlawful use of a motor vehicle and malicious destruction of property resulted from separate incidents in both March and April 2010 at the Saginaw County Mosquito Control property at 211 Congress in Saginaw.

'Cranking' fetish

Haskins admitted to police that, on both occasions, he broke into the yard where vehicles were parked, incident reports from the Saginaw County Sheriff's Department show. He said he pulled spark plug wires on sheriff, mosquito control and other vehicles parked there.

"Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises," the police report states.

Haskins was charged with additional misdemeanor offenses related to a third incident at the mosquito control property in October 2010.

According to that incident report, Haskins again said that he damaged county vehicles by pulling spark plug wires to "masturbate while cranking the engine." Deputies said he told them the act is a sexual fetish he learned about online.

Haskins told The Saginaw News that he has difficulty explaining what drove him to again and again repeat that behavior.

"I was in a messed-up state of mind mentally and emotionally when I did what I did," he said. "That's the only way I can even explain it."

After pleading guilty to charges in the 2010 cases, Haskins was sentenced to 55 days in jail and a one-year probation term. He violated probation in October 2011 when he was found guilty of several new felony offenses related to a similar incident that took place in January 2011.

According to police reports, Haskins said he jumped a fence at the city of Saginaw's parking lot at 1435 S. Washington on Jan. 7, 2011. He told sheriff's deputies in a later interview that he went joyriding in the parking lot and masturbated in a city police cruiser and a city pickup, the report shows.

On Jan. 24, 2011, according to police reports, Haskins jumped a chain-link fence and opened a garage door at Scientific Brake, 314 W. Genesee. Then he drove a truck on the grounds, he told police. Again, police reports state he admitted to "listening to the engine idle and masturbating."

The charges in the Jan. 7, 2011, incident were dismissed as part of a plea agreement in the Scientific Brake case. Haskins pleaded no contest in September 2011 to counts of breaking and entering a building with intent, unlawful driving away of an automobile and malicious destruction of personal property. Haskins was sentenced to one year and eight months in prison and was ordered to pay $10,430 in restitution.

Read the police reports, received through a Freedom of Information Act request to the Saginaw County Sheriff's Department, from four police reports:

Links on main source

Haskins told The Saginaw News that the danger of breaking into secure lots and using a police car to facilitate his behavior was part of the draw.

"It was just the fun and the risk and the thrill," he said.

Haskins explains his past behavior as a time of acting "stupid."

"I kind of got into a whole phase of my life where I was young and stupid, you know," Haskins said. "I really had no friends at the time. I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I was one of those young people who grew up without a father in the house, grew up with his grandmother and his mom. I just didn't really know what I wanted to do, what my purpose was, where I wanted to go."

But he says his time in prison was a wake-up call that helped him become hard-working and driven. He said his days of engaging in the practice are behind him.

"It finally woke me up to some things," Haskins said.

"That isn't even me anymore. I'm not sure what really changed or what happened. I don't know what it is about when you get into your 20s. Your chemistry changes. You get wiser and smarter a little bit. That's what happened to me."

A sense of duty

Today, Haskins said he has nearly completed his parole. According to the Michigan Department of Corrections, Haskins is scheduled to be discharged from parole on Oct. 23, 11 days before Election Day.

He plans to work this summer on his election campaign in Saginaw County.

"I feel that, yes, I've made mistakes in my past," he said. "But I'm working to correct those things and to try at least to put in my small part and help others in my community and try to make things right. I hope the citizens of the city and the 95th District will give me that chance."

Haskins said he is running for state office out of a sense of duty to his hometown of Saginaw. His love for history, philosophy, religion and politics, Haskins said, led him to consider a career in political service.

"I've realized that my gift that I have is in government and politics," he said. "I've found my niche, my passion."

Haskins said he hopes voters will respect his willingness to admit his past and his desire to serve his community in the present.

"I want to be the candidate that says that Republicans don't just care about perfect, whitewashed, the perfect people," he said. "Those who have never been through struggles and trials.

"I want to be the Republican, the conservative candidate that says, you know, conservatism is for you. Because conservatism, real conservatism, true red-blooded American conservatism is about grit, hard work, loyalty and traditional values. Your family values. The three values that make up my stool of conservatism are faith, family and freedom. And I believe that many of the citizens of Saginaw share those same values."

One thing Michigan's Legislature needs to address, he said, is the burden on taxpayers due to the high recidivism rate among criminal offenders.

Haskins proposes laws to help train and certify inmates in prison and to lessen the stigma associated with being a convicted felon for those seeking employment after release.

"Once they see that mark on that application they will not even talk to you," he said.

Haskins said he realizes that, in a district that has long been held by a Democrat, any Republican has little chance of being elected as its newest state representative. But Haskins said he is proud of the man he has become and is excited for whatever comes next.

"You may not respect my policies, you may not respect my ideas, but you at least have to respect me as a person," Haskins said.



"The three values that make up my stool of conservatism are faith, family and freedom." not sure that's the best choice of words really .....


... of course one cannot but help note that this position might also provide him with easier access to some of the aforementioned Govt. vehicles....... but I@m sure he'll stick to the job in hand.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/06/27 21:43:57


Post by: -Shrike-


reds8n wrote:but I@m sure he'll stick to the job in hand.


Not sure if this is a bad pun, or I'm drunk...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/07/07 13:10:08


Post by: reds8n


http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Owner-shook-Elvis-scarecrow-stolen-home-near/story-21317948-detail/story.html




Owner all shook up after Elvis scarecrow stolen from home near Exeter



The owner of an Elvis scarecrow was left ‘all shook up’ after it was stolen from their property in Starcross.

The straw man dressed as The King was snatched, overnight on June 23, from a garden in Well Street.

It was part of the village’s scarecrow festival, which is now in its tenth year and was organised in aid of Children’s Hospice South West. Karen Seaton made the scarecrow as her husband David is a big Elvis fan.

“It took a couple of days to put together,” she said.

“My husband has a room full of Elvis memorabilia and I cut up a canvas to make his face, my husband wasn’t too happy.

“What we’re most annoyed about, is that the event is for charity. If the person had come to us and asked for the suit it was wearing I’d have probably just given it to them, but instead they stole the whole scarecrow, just leaving his boots behind.

“This will be the first and last time I enter the festival.”

PSCO Deborah Sleeman, posted on Dawlish Neighbourhood Police page on Facebook about the crime.

“The owner went looking for him but only found his glove near the park by the bowls club," she said.

“As you can appreciate the owner was ‘All Shook Up’ about this and did not want Elvis to leave the building.”




Good to see even the authorities think this is funny....


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/07/31 15:42:28


Post by: reds8n


Wales is increasingly lawless.





Totalitarianism in action :



Frankly the nightlife seems unsavoury too




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/07/31 15:58:43


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


 reds8n wrote:


Totalitarianism in action :





Do the Welsh seriously just try to cram as many consonents without vowels as possible to try and confuse the rest of us?! How the feth is a normal person supposed to pronounce that town's name?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/07/31 21:30:40


Post by: Kilkrazy


In Welsh W is pronounced a bit like OO. CH is pronounced much like in Hoch Deutsch or the end of Loch in Scottish. LL is a lingual fricative.

There is a Welsh town called BWLCH. Pronunciation is somewhat like trying not to throw up and doing so explosively.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/05 08:53:08


Post by: reds8n



Cloud shaped like Great Britain spotted in Nottingham



Reader Roslyn Lynch sent us this picture of a very unusually-shaped cloud.

The formation - which looks like a map of Great Britain - was taken earlier this week at the junction of Carlton Road and Porchester Road.

Roslyn Lynch took the snap.



Not a lot going on in Nottingham this summer then.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/07 19:50:20


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


A Facebook post today from my town's Police force.

Newton Aycliffe Neighbourhood Policing Team wrote:We have had numerous reports of quad bikes and off road motorcycles being ridden in the Boating Lake area of town. If you recognise any of these males please private message us.
Spoiler:



Making a speedy getaway from the scene of a crime. no doubt.




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/07 20:33:57


Post by: blaktoof


I live in Pittsburgh usually the news is about sports, drunk driving, cops killing people who are totally unarmed and unable to do anything, or something else terrible [hey this year we moved up to Americas 2nd most depressing place to leave, previously we were number1!]

Occasionally we have gems like these

http://www.pennlive.com/nation-world/2014/07/army_veteran_heads_to_court_af.html

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/08/women_attacked_each_other_with.html


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/08 10:08:08


Post by: Khornholio


^^ I hope buddy gets to keep his ducks.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/08 11:43:36


Post by: reds8n


Indeed.


http://www.nj.com/hunterdon-county-democrat/index.ssf/2014/07/ex-flemington_insurance_man_mc.html#incart_river



Jim McPherson — of McPherson and Newland Insurance fame — will compete tomorrow on "The Price Is Right" at 11 a.m. on CBS.

Bob Newland predicts his longtime business partner and friend "will do very well. He has his finger on the pulse."

McPherson retired from the Flemington company and moved to Chocowinity, N.C., with his wife, Shirley, in 2010.

McPherson is the father of chef/entrepreneur Matt McPherson, owner of Matt’s Red Rooster Grill and co-owner of Gallo Rosso Bar and Restaurant, both in Flemington. He is also co-owner of the soon-to-be revived Union Hotel.

"The Price Is Right" is hosted by Drew Carey.



all the BIG stories !



I was also especially impressed by

http://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/local/francis-crick-sculpture-removed-for-cleaning-ahead-of-relocation-in-abington-street-1-6109168



Francis Crick sculpture removed for cleaning ahead of relocation in Abington Street




Work to move the memorial sculpture down Abington Street and relocate it outside Marks & Spencer and Tesco began yesterday (Monday).

The sculpture was removed yesterday for cleaning and in a few weeks will be placed in a new prime location as part of the work to reopen Abington Street to traffic.

The sculpture was placed in Abington Street in 2006 and was funded by the Lynn Wilson Foundation to commemorate the life and work of Francis Crick – whose work with James Watson lead to the identification of the structure of DNA - in the town where he was born.

Called ‘Discovery’, the statue consists of two life-sized figures, each standing on six-metre high, curved steel plinths.

Northampton Borough Council has discussed the move with the Lynn Wilson Foundation, and written to members of Francis Crick’s family.

Now the statue has been moved, work will continue with the reopening of the middle section of Abington Street to one-way traffic between St Giles Terrace and Wellington Street. The scheme will include parking bays, loading and dropping off areas and the road will be reopened by Christmas 2014.

Cllr David Mackintosh, Leader of Northampton Borough Council, said: “Re-opening Abington Street to traffic will increase footfall and give a new lease of life to that part of the town centre. I am proud of Northampton’s connection with Francis Crick and pleased that we have been able to keep the statue that commemorates him within the town centre.”



Mainly due to the extra effort they went to by including a photo that doesn't show the statue, so we literally have a photo of an absence.

Quite poetical.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/14 14:27:42


Post by: reds8n


http://chiswickherald.co.uk/chiswick-woman-removes-vacuum-cleaner-head-with-ease-p2474-95.htm



Chiswick Woman Removes Vacuum Cleaner Head With Ease

Long time Chiswick resident and stay at home Mum, Georgie Kean, successfully removed a stubborn and broken vacuum cleaner head that had been stuck on it's piping for over a year.

'It was a nightmare. I considered buying a new vacuum cleaner, but you become quite attached to these Henry machines!'.

WD40 and brute force allowed Georgie to free the head and replace immediately.

'Our Henry is as good as new. The family are overjoyed and I can hoover with ease once more'.







At long, long last the nightmare is over !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/14 16:36:41


Post by: Leigen_Zero


From my local newspaper:
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/11408933.Cat_killed_in_Malpas_road_smash/?ref=mr

Spoiler:

A BLACK cat has died on Malpas Road in Newport after a three-car crash on the road this morning.

Gwent Police officers are at the scene and traffic is slowly filtering around the bump in the southbound lane.


I feel sorry for the cat, I feel sorry for it's owner, but damn, black cat, 3 car smash, kinda gives clout to the old superstition...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/14 16:42:02


Post by: SilverMK2


Is the bump in the southbound lane the cat?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/08/26 15:01:37


Post by: reds8n


http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/11412585.East_Lancs_town_gets_Coronation_Street_name_check/



PEOPLE in Burnley couldn't believe their ears when the town was the topic of conversation on the UK's most popular soap on Wednesday night.

When Coronation Street star Jenna Kamara decided it was time for a fresh start away from the cobbled street, she told her taxi-driving dad Lloyd Mullaney that she was off to Burnley!

Jenna, played by Krissi Bohn, has been in the soap since September 2012 but after almost two years playing the role she was axed by ITV bosses earlier this year.

On Wednesday 6.4million viewers saw her make a spur of the moment decision to leave the cobbles for a new challenge after encouragement from long-term character, and her former love interest, Sophie Webster.

Jenna told her dad that she was ‘30, stuck in a dead end job and still living with my dad’.

Lloyd only found out that Jenna was his daughter when she arrived on the street two years ago, but in emotional final scenes between the pair he told her of his fear that he was losing the daughter he had only recently found.

He said: “I don’t even know where you’re going,” to which Jenna told him “Burnley, it’s only half an hour away.”

But it appears her move from Weatherfield to Burnley may not be permanent.

Jenna is only planning on staying with a friend for a couple of nights before she heads off overseas to volunteer.

East Lancashire’s links with the iconic soap, which first aired on British screens in 1960, don’t end with brief stop-offs for departing characters.

The award-winning Natalie Gumede, who played bad girl Kirsty Soames for two years, is from Colne and is a former pupil of Park High School.

Sam Aston, who has played cheeky Chesney in the soap for the past 11 years, is from Bacup, while Julie Hesmondhalgh, who played Hayley Cropper for 16 years before leaving earlier this year, is from Accrington.

Bill Roache, who has played Ken Barlow in the soap since its first episode 54 years ago, used to live in Haslingden, and glamour girl Helen Flanagan, who played Sophie Webster on the street, went to Westholme School, in Blackburn.

Vicky Entwistle, who played loud mouth Janice Battersby for 14 years until 2011, is also from Accrington.



,, slow news week in Lanc. then ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/04 07:45:11


Post by: reds8n




.... assume it was someone's homework.




At long last the horror is ended.





... of course it might be a terrierist ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/04 08:06:58


Post by: Tibbsy




Dachshundkreig approaches...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/05 01:45:10


Post by: Bromsy


http://www.startribune.com/local/east/273956691.html

And people say romance is dead.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/08 09:09:40


Post by: reds8n




.. PHEW !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/08 18:49:26


Post by: Easy E


I really don't want to know how the ghost got that nickname. It would have been a bigger story is the Tea Bag ghost were REAL!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/13 01:57:24


Post by: Khornholio


More of a funny headline...if you read it like a true nerd and take some alternative meanings on.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/13/nyregion/doctor-who-worked-on-joan-rivers-steps-down-from-post-at-medical-clinic.html?_r=0


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/09/20 05:37:25


Post by: d-usa


Canadians...



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/06 09:44:13


Post by: reds8n






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/11 00:59:49


Post by: Khornholio


http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/10/10/robot_trouser_snake_has_no_problem_with_slippery_mounds/

Saw this about 2 minutes ago and had to log in and post it.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/16 11:10:44


Post by: reds8n




great story.






when oh when will the horror end !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/17 09:17:51


Post by: reds8n


Nice.





... might be a bit late but the thought is nice.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/20 17:41:12


Post by: reds8n


http://www.kentonline.co.uk/whitstable/news/merman-outfit-quite-a-tail-25476/




Whitstable rotary club president David Cavell accidentally buys gimp suit when ordering merman costume for Kent Air Ambulance sponsored swim



uh huh.

Accidentally.


.. right.





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/21 00:31:43


Post by: Khornholio


^^ All news should be this funny.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/10/22 08:07:18


Post by: reds8n




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/12/11 16:14:15


Post by: reds8n







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/12/17 15:02:27


Post by: reds8n




at long long last the horror is over.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/12/18 15:21:00


Post by: reds8n


http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/11669029.Man_rings_police_after_neighbour_posts__creepy__picture_of_Cliff_Richard_in_his_window/



Man rings police after neighbour posts "creepy" picture of Cliff Richard in his window


A MAN phoned police after his neighbour posted a giant photo of a grinning Sir Cliff Richard in the window overlooking his dining room.

James Maltby said the image of the beaming pop star was “creepy” but police told him they could not do anything about the picture – because it was not a zombie.

Mr Maltby believes his neighbour posted the image on the property in Sutherland Road to get back at him after he reported him to the council over allegations he was breaching planning rules – which his neighbour denies.

Mr Maltby said: “I woke up and he has stuck a picture in his window of a face of Cliff Richard looking down at us.

“I called the police and they said there was nothing they can do about it.

“They said if it was a picture of a zombie they could do something about it, but because it is a picture of a face they cannot.

“It is a creepy image. I think he is trying to send us a message saying he knows it is us.”

The neighbour, James Dean, said he was “surprised to find myself amidst a most bizarre misunderstanding” and the image was posted by a “comrade” as a “comical greeting”.

Mr Dean works in the building and denied breaking planning rules by also living there.

He said he often worked “long hours and nocturnal shifts” in the building for the design studio of which he is creative director, Clockwise 360 Ltd.

He added that since hearing of Mr Maltby’s objection he had taken the photo down, and “would like to apologise for any offence caused.”

A Sussex Police spokesman said: “Police received a report on Sunday last week that a man had put up a picture of Cliff Richard in a window facing the informant’s garden in Sutherland Road in Brighton.

“Officers spoke to the informant but informed him that displaying the picture was not an offence.

“The informant was encouraged to speak to the owner of the building to resolve the issue.”

A spokesman for Brighton and Hove City Council said: “Our planning enforcement team has been contacted [about the building] and they are investigating whether a change of use has taken place.”



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/12/19 15:41:45


Post by: zedmeister


Got to love the sensationalism in some of these, ahem, incidents.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2014/12/19 16:08:16


Post by: Tjomball


Best one I remember was from a Danish paper.
Bollet ihjel av bursdagskamel.
Translated. Fethed to death by birthday Camel.
:p


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/01/03 16:02:20


Post by: reds8n






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/01/05 13:29:00


Post by: reds8n




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/01/05 17:18:41


Post by: Manchu




That Chick Is Always Complaining


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/01/20 15:22:41


Post by: reds8n







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/02/13 10:04:22


Post by: reds8n




somewhere a sub-editor is laughing/getting a telling off .


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/02/14 10:22:38


Post by: Khornholio


This is clearly the best thread in the OT.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/03/12 03:08:18


Post by: Ouze


The hero Akron needs:

Akron police searching for “mystery pooper” caught in the act
POSTED 5:39 PM, MARCH 11, 2015, BY KAILY CUNNINGHAM AND KEVIN FREEMAN, UPDATED AT 09:51PM, MARCH 11, 2015

Warning: The details of this story are disturbing


AKRON – Police are currently searching for a man who was caught defecating on a car belonging to a woman in Akron. A photo of the act was taken by the father of the victim.


serial pooper


According to Akron Police Lieutenant Rick Edwards, the man is in his mid-40’s and incidents like this have been reported since May 2012.

19 reports have been filed in total and the cars have been damaged on the outside, the door handles and the interior, if they were left unlocked.

All of the incidents took place in the Castle Homes neighborhood in Akron.

Some victims reported the incidents thinking it was from a dog.

Lt. Edwards says investigators could perform DNA testing to try to identify the man, but he says for minor crimes, like this, that would be a last resort.

If arrested, the suspect could face charges, such as criminal mischief.

Anyone with information about this man should contact Akron police.

Below is a map where all of the incidents have occurred.





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/03/19 14:25:31


Post by: reds8n


http://www.northnorfolknews.co.uk/news/disturbance_involving_a_weapon_leads_to_armed_police_being_called_to_address_in_cromer_1_3994175


story isn't anything too odd or funny really.


There was however an eyewitness to the event who got his picture in the paper...


Spoiler:








Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/03/23 15:14:54


Post by: reds8n







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/03/26 09:22:00


Post by: reds8n




This is why I don't support vegetarianism.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/03/26 12:50:51


Post by: Steve steveson




It comes just two years after Clarkson's colleague James May filmed a sequence with a double-decker bus in Cheddar Gorge.

Clarkson is not believed to have been there for the filming.


Moral of the story, never let anyone you know go to Cheddar Gorge.

I love the succinct photo caption.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/04/04 09:47:12


Post by: reds8n







Bit soon maybe yes ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/04/06 07:27:46


Post by: reds8n




.. the horror....


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/04/17 11:49:47


Post by: reds8n


Spoiler:




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/04/19 10:20:01


Post by: reds8n


I appreciate that a lot of people in the UK have a love of pastries -- quite partial myself.

But there's a time and a place for a promo no matter how delicious it is


Spoiler:









Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/06/09 13:27:53


Post by: reds8n





Always good to see minorities breaking through.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/06/09 13:29:30


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


 reds8n wrote:



Always good to see minorities breaking through.



Ohh that is awesome on so many levels... Him being "amphibious" could be a throwback to a Yogi-ism, even if its more likely it's just a typo


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/07/08 07:46:08


Post by: reds8n





June's a lucky woman then eh ?

I have no idea what the story on the right is about either ..?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/07/08 20:18:32


Post by: Co'tor Shas


Edit: never mind, my reading comprehension is in the pits today.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/07/09 00:05:23


Post by: TheRobotLol







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/07/10 15:29:03


Post by: Matthew


Just need to put this out there. Translation:

Pigs Parade
Six boars caused commotion when they appeared in central Kristianstad, and the police were forced to interfer. Something like this hasn't happened in the town since National Socialistic Front once demonstrated there.

Explanation: In Sweden, National Socialistic Front is widely regarded as a Nazi party. A common nickname for Nazis is 'nasse', from the swedish 'Nazist'. Nasse is also a nickname for 'pig', 'boar', and so on. Get it? Boar? Pig? Nazi? yeah, it's not fun in english...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/07/15 08:05:29


Post by: reds8n


Afraid I've had to remove the pic you attached.

If you wish to share any such images you need to link to an offsite host, we don't allow non wargaming images to be attached directly to dakka.





.. wow !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/07/20 10:40:26


Post by: reds8n




.. hmm ... he's just one bloke.

If we all rush him reckon we can take him.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/02 18:48:33


Post by: Kilkrazy


I didn't get the whole story behind this but the headline is frightening enough that I apologise in advance for disturbing your sleep.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/03 12:59:09


Post by: reds8n


Nice







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/16 08:03:01


Post by: reds8n






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/16 08:44:21


Post by: zedmeister




That's dedication!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/16 16:52:27


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


 zedmeister wrote:


That's dedication!


That's not dedication.... that's sheer lunacy


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/16 19:23:10


Post by: Mr. Burning


 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
 zedmeister wrote:


That's dedication!


That's not dedication.... that's sheer lunacy


It's an abomination unto God.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/16 19:39:28


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


 Mr. Burning wrote:
 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
 zedmeister wrote:


That's dedication!


That's not dedication.... that's sheer lunacy


It's an abomination unto God.


Indeed. Doesn't the Bible say something along the lines of "Go forth and multiply"?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/16 19:56:29


Post by: Mr. Burning


[q uote=Shadow Captain Edithae 538491 8059740 5d42f8b6fbac0029cbdc070da02a0759.jpg]
 Mr. Burning wrote:
 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
 zedmeister wrote:


That's dedication!


That's not dedication.... that's sheer lunacy


It's an abomination unto God.


Indeed. Doesn't the Bible say something along the lines of "Go forth and multiply"?


What!? You mean eating a raw potato didn't strike you first??


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/17 01:05:47


Post by: the Signless


 Mr. Burning wrote:
 Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:
 Mr. Burning wrote:
 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
 zedmeister wrote:


That's dedication!


That's not dedication.... that's sheer lunacy


It's an abomination unto God.


Indeed. Doesn't the Bible say something along the lines of "Go forth and multiply"?


What!? You mean eating a raw potato didn't strike you first??


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/28 14:54:52


Post by: reds8n





probably fake but who cares


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/28 19:34:10


Post by: squidhills


 reds8n wrote:



probably fake but who cares


Not a fake, but it is kinda old. I remember first hearing of this incident several years ago, at least.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/30 09:00:52


Post by: reds8n





It's the last place we'd look !



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/30 10:44:16


Post by: KingCracker


Those brilliant communists!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/31 16:21:10


Post by: Lt. Coldfire


I remember seeing this one a while back and I got a big kick out of it:



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/08/31 21:42:28


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


Blind football?

>brings up Google.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/01 06:59:07


Post by: Kilkrazy


"Rowers give Boris's Bottle a Lift".

http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=41348

I have cheekliy included this one because I am in the story.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 08:12:25


Post by: reds8n


Looking good.. lost some weight !








Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 11:48:30


Post by: zedmeister


I must protest, football violence and hooliganism isn't getting out of hand. What's that?




Oh, well. Umm



Edit. Well, considering the reporters name is Hugh Dunnett, I doubt the veracity of the story


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I recommend stocking supplies as the inevitable famine will be harsh

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/farming/haggis-herd-suffolk/


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 13:09:39


Post by: -Shrike-


 zedmeister wrote:
I must protest, football violence and hooliganism isn't getting out of hand. What's that?




Oh, well. Umm



Edit. Well, considering the reporters name is Hugh Dunnett, I doubt the veracity of the story


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I recommend stocking supplies as the inevitable famine will be harsh

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/farming/haggis-herd-suffolk/

Article written by one "Ivor Traktor"?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 13:34:44


Post by: kronk


 Kilkrazy wrote:
"Rowers give Boris's Bottle a Lift".

http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=41348

I have cheekliy included this one because I am in the story.


hazzah! You're famous!

Which one are you?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 13:36:25


Post by: Frazzled


Man steals UT flag. Owner chases, stabs him and retrieves flag. Police arrest thief only.
http://kxan.com/2015/09/03/man-charged-in-travis-county-after-stealing-longhorns-flag/

TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas (KXAN) – A man is behind bars after, the Travis County Sheriff’s Office says, he stole a University of Texas flag from a home then attacked the homeowner who chased him to get it back.

TCSO responded to the house at 524 Tudor House Road around 9:10 a.m. Thursday for a robbery call. The homeowner told deputies he heard noises outside the house around 9 a.m. When he looked out the window he saw two men in his driveway.

According to the homeowner, when he heard the men moving his garage door, he went outside to confront them. He found one of them holding his large UT flag, which was attached to a six foot flagpole. When he yelled at the men, they took off, with the flag.

The homeowner chased the men. When he got close, Emilio Castaneda-Cisneros, 18, swung the flagpole and hit the homeowner several times.

The homeowner told deputies he pulled a pocket knife and stabbed Castaneda-Cisneros once in the side and took the flag back. The men then got into a truck and drove off.

A man outside mowing his lawn at the time saw the incident unfold and told deputies what he saw. They later found a vehicle matching the description and found Castaneda-Cisneros with injuries matching what the homeowner described.

Castaneda-Cisneros is charged with Robbery by Assault, a second degree felony. He is currently being held in the Travis County Jail on a $20,000 bond. He was treated for his injury beforehand.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 13:48:24


Post by: kronk


Dumbass thief!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 13:50:12


Post by: Frazzled


 kronk wrote:
Dumbass thief!


In Texas, you steal and get stabbed, we arrest YOU!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 15:59:10


Post by: zedmeister


 Frazzled wrote:
 kronk wrote:
Dumbass thief!


In Texas, you steal and get stabbed, we arrest YOU!


Story stinks and a complete fabrication. For starters, the man pulled a knife on him? Sounds like a UK story not the US. Where was the regulation Texas issued AR? As no guns were involved, I highly doubt the truth of the mater


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/04 21:37:17


Post by: Kilkrazy


Probably the householder was carrying a flamethrower and realised he could not use it without the danger of setting fire to his flag.

Wimp.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/08 15:15:45


Post by: A Town Called Malus


So...yeah...

http://quirker.co.uk/story/dead-body-found-floating-in-manchester-canal-turns-out-to-be-a-duvet-full-of-coconuts

‘Dead body’ found floating in Manchester canal turns out to be a duvet full of coconuts

We know what it was, but we still have no idea why…

Michael Moran

A grisly discovery in Manchester’s Bridgewater Canal turned out to be not so grisly after all. Just really, really weird.

A man walking by the canal on Sunday spotted what looked like a dead body wrapped in cloth floating in the water. Being a responsible citizen he hauled the bundle onto dry land and then called the police.

He told them that he thought that it could be the corpse of a large animal because it was ‘leaking white fluid’ that had a strong smell.

Upon investigation by Greater Manchester Police the ‘corpse’ turned out to be a duvet filled with coconuts.

One mystery solved. But a whole new one begins. Who on Earth would fill a duvet with coconuts? And having done so, why would they dump it into a canal?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/14 09:57:17


Post by: reds8n




Most people like a Nandos -- especially a cheeky one -- but one would suggest that -- if only ny the number of them gone -- it's rival seems to have better stories.

was the bread sliced, freshly baked, a bloomer ? the people need to know !



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/22 08:19:55


Post by: reds8n




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/22 10:43:51


Post by: Tibbsy


That's some damn good camo they've got there!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/22 10:58:34


Post by: KingCracker


Tibbsy wrote:
That's some damn good camo they've got there!



I always joke with people that wear camo that it's some damn good camo because I can't see what ever body part they are wearing it over........ So this actually happened then


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/09/27 10:39:37


Post by: Compel


Big breaking news from the UK. - See live updates on twitter at @Glos_police

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 14h14 hours ago
Bit of an unusual one. If anyone has lost a kangaroo in the Dursley area please contact us on 101 and quote incident 462. We have found one!

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 14h14 hours ago
Kangaroo update - we have it cornered 'outback' of a house in Woodmancote but no owner identified yet.

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 13h13 hours ago
Not the usual bouncers that we're interacting with on a Saturday night

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 49m49 minutes ago
Have you lost a wallaby? 'Skippy' seen around the Woodmancote near Dursley. Owners pse call 101 quote 462 of 26 Sept.


Not one to quote the Daily Express but...

"It was first spotted at 9.20pm by a concerned woman who showed stunned officers a picture of the four-foot animal.
They tracked it down and quickly cornered the marsupial – but the crafty kangaroo evaded capture by storming towards them and jumping over a wall.
Officers continued pursuing the animal for hours and managed to trap it.
Then just before midnight it escaped again and is still on the run.
Baffled officers called vets and experts at the RSPCA for help and were advised to "put a blanket over its head" if they corner the kangaroo.
A police spokeswoman told Express.co.uk that the bizarre call hd "turned into a really long incident".
She said: "Unfortunately it got away from us. We thought we'd got it cornered."
"I bet this poor animal is absolutely terrified. It's not our usual sort of job is it?""


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/02 18:01:59


Post by: reds8n





.. well played there mr sub-editor !



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/02 19:58:10


Post by: kronk


Who will volunteer to take the pot off the cat?


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Dog Left Alone in Truck Drives it Into Lake


http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/weird/Dog-Puts-Idle-Truck-Into-Gear-Sends-it-Into-Lake-329902731.html




Police say a dog had to be rescued after it drove a pickup truck into a lake in Maine.

Ellsworth Police say a man was walking the dog near Branch Lake on Saturday afternoon in Ellsworth. He put the dog into the truck after an encounter with another dog.

While the Brewer man spoke to the other dog's owner, the Yorkshire terrier managed to bump the Chevrolet Silverado into gear, causing it to roll about 75 feet into the lake, and bounce off a rock before sinking in roughly 10 feet of water.

Police say a family friend immediately swam into the lake and saved the trapped dog. A towing company was called in to remove the truck, which is considered a total loss. No humans or dogs were injured.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/05 10:13:00


Post by: Tibbsy


 Compel wrote:
Big breaking news from the UK. - See live updates on twitter at @Glos_police

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 14h14 hours ago
Bit of an unusual one. If anyone has lost a kangaroo in the Dursley area please contact us on 101 and quote incident 462. We have found one!

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 14h14 hours ago
Kangaroo update - we have it cornered 'outback' of a house in Woodmancote but no owner identified yet.

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 13h13 hours ago
Not the usual bouncers that we're interacting with on a Saturday night

Glos Police ‏@Glos_Police 49m49 minutes ago
Have you lost a wallaby? 'Skippy' seen around the Woodmancote near Dursley. Owners pse call 101 quote 462 of 26 Sept.


Not one to quote the Daily Express but...

"It was first spotted at 9.20pm by a concerned woman who showed stunned officers a picture of the four-foot animal.
They tracked it down and quickly cornered the marsupial – but the crafty kangaroo evaded capture by storming towards them and jumping over a wall.
Officers continued pursuing the animal for hours and managed to trap it.
Then just before midnight it escaped again and is still on the run.
Baffled officers called vets and experts at the RSPCA for help and were advised to "put a blanket over its head" if they corner the kangaroo.
A police spokeswoman told Express.co.uk that the bizarre call hd "turned into a really long incident".
She said: "Unfortunately it got away from us. We thought we'd got it cornered."
"I bet this poor animal is absolutely terrified. It's not our usual sort of job is it?""


Someone who can photoshop needs to swap out the swan here for a kangaroo for them.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/09 09:18:48


Post by: zedmeister


Well, that's one way to increase tourism



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/09 10:49:41


Post by: Pete Melvin


Still not worth going to Dundee for


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/13 09:51:24


Post by: reds8n





Not a lot going on in Surrey TBF.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/13 09:57:19


Post by: Kilkrazy


This week's top story in the Henley Standard:

DON'T COME HERE TO DIE!

http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=105049


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/15 09:23:10


Post by: reds8n






TBF you can't just rush into these things.





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/19 14:40:43


Post by: reds8n





... A major issue in the UK.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/19 14:45:17


Post by: Kilkrazy


Pumpkin sparks police pursuit



http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=107327



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/20 08:25:21


Post by: reds8n




They're a tough breed in Croydon.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/21 12:43:27


Post by: Skinnereal


Where did she have them removed from?!?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/21 12:50:49


Post by: kronk


Pipe organs or hearts and gak?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/21 12:53:39


Post by: Pete Melvin


 Skinnereal wrote:
Where did she have them removed from?!?


We were debating this at work the other day and trying to figure out which organs you could have removed and still be alive (for a given value of living).

1 kidney
1 lung
pancreas
appendix
Both eyes
Both ears
reproductive organs- I suppose you could count all these separately, so up to 4.

My personal theory is however that she swallowed 10 mouth-organs.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/21 12:53:51


Post by: reds8n


... alas..... we'll never know !





TBF they're often sett in their ways.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/21 13:07:48


Post by: kronk


You can lead a Badger to a new home, but you can't make him sign the lease...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/27 08:35:39


Post by: reds8n


There's moments that only occur once in a newspaper sub-editor's life.

You've got to seize them when they happen.


Spoiler:






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/27 08:54:35


Post by: Steve steveson


http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/13895240.Bradford_schoolgirl_finds_15_apostrophe_crimes_during_15_minute_walk/?ref=trn


Bradford schoolgirl finds 15 apostrophe crimes during 15-minute walk
A NINE-year-old deaf Bradford schoolgirl found 15 examples of the incorrect use of apostrophes during a 15-minute walk in the district.

As part of a school project, Ammarah Mahmood wandered around the market in Keighley and surrounding area looking for mistakes - specifically apostrophe S - on signage.

And the Swain House Primary School pupil was shocked at what she found.

The errors she spotted included: Banana's; Happy Holiday's; No Drink's Allowed in Shop; Pie's, Pasty's, Sandwich's and Cakes; DVD's; Customers For Taxi's Please Wait Here; Toilet's; and Open Sunday's.

Her teacher Sarah Rothera, who teaches deaf children at the school on Radcliffe Avenue, Bradford, said there was a mixture of professional 'screwed on' signs, neon signs and hand-written ones.

"We were shocked when Ammarah brought her pictures in," said Sarah. "We were shocked at the blatant misuse of apostrophes.

"The incorrect use does annoy me, and it is shocking how many she found in such a short space of time.
"She just walked round for 15 minutes. She was saying they need to go back to college!

"She was also saying 'these are adults. I am deaf and I am nine and I know the correct way to use them'."

Sarah added: "My favourite one is the 'Pie's, Pasty's, Sandwich's and Cakes' one. Why haven't they put an apostrophe in cakes, even though they have put ones in the others?"

Ammarah's class has been doing work on grammar and punctuation and was set a challenge to photograph pictures of any examples they could find.

Sarah explained: "I have been teaching the children about the use of apostrophe S for possession. As a follow up task I asked the children to use their school-issue PSP to take photographs of where they see the use of apostrophe S in the local environment.

"What was amazing about Ammarah is that she was genuinely shocked and wanted us to teach everyone in Bradford about how to use apostrophe S for possession. The photographs she took are both amusing and shocking."
Share article

Sarah added: "With the new curriculum there is a huge push for grammar and punctuation and it starts at a much younger age now.

"I took in a Slimming World banner with 'Thursday's' on it and asked the children to spot the error."


The Horror! 15 grammar errors in 15 minutes! Hangings to good for 'em I say!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/27 12:19:27


Post by: A Town Called Malus


A pretty funny coincidence but I've just been reading Going Postal by Terry Pratchett (for like the third time) and had just got to the bit with the grocers apostrophes.

They're even in the wrong place when the owner of the grocers shop talks


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/28 23:52:23


Post by: AlmightyWalrus


Isn't "No drink's allowed in shop" technically valid ("No drink is allowed in shop")?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/29 10:16:38


Post by: Skinnereal


 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
Isn't "No drink's allowed in shop" technically valid ("No drink is allowed in shop")?
Yes, but you wouldn't hear the shopkeeper actually say it that way.
The rules for the ' were officially dropped a while ago, IIRC, just to stop people making them correct their signs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostrophe#Greengrocers.27_apostrophes


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/30 18:10:47


Post by: kronk


From a small town in Texas:



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/30 18:24:56


Post by: TheCustomLime


 kronk wrote:
From a small town in Texas:



I got to say that actually isn't a bad plan.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/30 19:04:17


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 TheCustomLime wrote:
 kronk wrote:
From a small town in Texas:



I got to say that actually isn't a bad plan.


Smart move would be to line up a supplier, send in the details of all the current dealers, then just stroll into the now open market.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/10/30 19:48:24


Post by: kronk


It's what Walter White would have done.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/02 10:28:17


Post by: reds8n


http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/Don-t-away-psychic-guinea-pigs-cancer-sufferer/story-28093686-detail/story.html



A COUPLE have been threatened with eviction for refusing to give up their 21 guinea pigs — which they say are psychic.

Animal lovers Clive and Rose Restall must either part company with the rodents or leave their home as they have been told the pets breach their tenancy agreement.

But couple claim that their guinea pigs have been crucial to Clive, 57, getting through his cancer treatment and have special powers.

They say the mystic creatures have helped members of the community with their personal problems and have even helped influence the future.

But Plymouth Community Homes (PCH) have said the number of guinea pigs and rabbits that the Restalls are keeping is unreasonable, and issued a warning of eviction.

"Lots of people like to come and visit them," said Clive. "Some people like to come and speak to them about their problems.

"There was one lad who came in and asked the guinea pigs to help bring his father back from Afghanistan, and they did.

"And there is a young lady we know who is having trouble at home with her parents, but she comes in and talks to them.

"They're a means of communication. They listen to your problems and they help."

Clive bought his first batch of guinea pigs as part of his rehabilitation after being diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2010.

He has had regular hospital appointments at the nearby Derriford Hospital since then, and said he would become depressed if it wasn't for his pets.

"Because of the cancer, I haven't been able to work," he explained. "So I bought a few guinea pigs to keep me company at home and to talk to.

"They've helped me through my cancer, they've helped me cope.

"The local community love them just as much as I do. I sometimes loan them out to people if they need someone to talk to, too."

Having refused to get rid of them, Clive and his gifted guinea pigs now face being evicted in the New Year.

A spokesperson for PCH, however, insisted that eviction would only be enforced as a 'last resort'.

Sue Shaw, director of homes, neighbourhoods and regeneration, said: "We know that pet ownership can be a rewarding experience, bringing companionship and social benefits to people.

"However, we also care about the welfare of any pets kept in our homes and residents are made aware of our pets policy when they sign their tenancy agreement.

"In this case, the number of animals in Mr Restall's home is beyond what is reasonable.

"We have agreed that Mr Restall can keep some of his guinea pigs, but needs to find new homes for the others and we've given him until mid-January to reduce the number.

"Keeping animals in a way which is not in line with our pets policy is a breach of tenancy, which could ultimately lead to legal action and a tenant losing their home.

"However, this is always a last resort and we've tried to create terms for Mr Restall to make this situation as manageable as possible. We'll continue to work with him and offer support."





..mystic guinea pigs ....




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/02 12:37:16


Post by: kronk


If the guinea pigs were psychic, they could pick the winning lotto numbers for you and you could move out of your gak-hole rented space that doesn't allow said guinea pigs.

It's in their own self interest, after all.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/03 10:41:01


Post by: reds8n





..probably straight to cable/disc for the movie of this one.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/11 15:19:45


Post by: reds8n






A poor show really, just 2 more letters and they'd have been onto a winner.




.. err..... some things man is not supposed to know.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/11 16:24:39


Post by: Pete Melvin


In Scotland if you are a "rocket" you are crazy (eg "That boys a pure rocket!"
In Dundee, most of the women look like cattle.
I can only assume that a gang of crazy baptists were firing rockets at the female population of Dundee.
And rightly so.

To quote Frankie Boyle:
"Dundee is more civilised than Perth?! The phrase "Dundee is more civilised than...?" was a Mensa question for many years"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/18 08:58:50


Post by: reds8n




.. hmm... layout fail.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/11/20 08:55:25


Post by: reds8n




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/12/10 22:45:03


Post by: d-usa


Not really a newspaper story, but still great:

Fort Myers Station Airs Racy Homeland Security Graphic



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/12/11 08:42:52


Post by: the Signless


A story from Shenzhen Daily.

Clothing shop not related to ISIS: police


The clothing shop in Longgang District before its sign was taken down. SD-Agencies
Zhang Yang
Spoiler:
THE owner of the ISIS clothing shop in Longgang District took down the shop’s sign after the shop was investigated by police for possible ties to the Islamic State (IS) terrorist group, according to sohu.com.

Police in Longgang confirmed that they had investigated the shop because its sign and price tags contained the name ISIS, but said they didn’t find any relation between Chen and the terrorist group.

“I opened this shop two years ago, and I didn’t know anything about ISIS back then,” said the shopkeeper, Chen, 35. She said she named the store ISIS because it sounds similar to a Chinese phrase meaning to give gifts out of kindness.

Chen said she removed the signboard Nov. 18 after the police investigated her, adding that she wanted to avoid misunderstandings.

“I thought about changing the shop’s name after the news about the terrorist group ISIS was widespread last year,” Chen said, but she didn’t change it because she believed people wouldn’t notice.

“The name ISIS may evoke uncomfortable feelings in some customers, meaning people won’t go there to shop,” said Edison Wu, the brand manager of a local company. Wu said changing the sign is a good move.

Chen said she hasn’t come up with a new name for her shop, but she may get a subsidy from the government as she spent 20,000 yuan (US$3,130) on the signboard that was removed. Public information shows that Chen’s shop was registered as a business in June last year.

An image of the store’s sign went viral online recently with netizens commenting on sohu.com.

Many said Chen should rename her shop, while others said she shouldn’t change the shop’s name because she hadn’t violated the law.

“It’s interesting that the shop used the same name as ISIS, but it’s disappointing that the shop has to change its name because of this coincidence,” said a netizen named Laojiudejiu in Beijing.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/12/11 08:53:02


Post by: Kilkrazy


You see, this is why I prefer the term ISIL.

In the UK, ISIS refers to;

1. The River Thames above and through Oxford.
2. A type of soft cheese, named after the river.
3. It's also the traditional name of an Oxford University boat used for the Boat Race reserve crew.

In fact, the boat club considered and rejected changing the name last year.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/12/11 15:33:15


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


 Kilkrazy wrote:
You see, this is why I prefer the term ISIL.

In the UK, ISIS refers to;

1. The River Thames above and through Oxford.
2. A type of soft cheese, named after the river.
3. It's also the traditional name of an Oxford University boat used for the Boat Race reserve crew.

In fact, the boat club considered and rejected changing the name last year.



Don't forget:



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/12/11 18:17:03


Post by: Compel


And, you know, the whole Egyptian goddess thing...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2015/12/14 13:30:34


Post by: reds8n




Homesickness is a terrible thing indeed.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/15 09:27:30


Post by: reds8n








*pun about "digging it" here*


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/22 09:17:51


Post by: reds8n






Michael Bay is bidding for the film rights.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/22 09:23:53


Post by: Kilkrazy


Spam tins have the same opening system but they are not tapered so it's harder to get the 'meat' out.

That said, I've found the modern type of tin opener that cuts around the rim from the side rather than the top, can get round the bends in spam and corned beef tins easily enough.

As well as sardines, smoked oysters, and laver bread, use the ring-pull system. I've know the ring to pop off, and had to use the tin opener and cut round the edge.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/22 16:04:39


Post by: kronk


When the ring pulls off my pull tops, I grab a screw driver and a hammer! That tuna will be mine!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/26 12:28:33


Post by: reds8n


Happy Australia day !






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/29 09:05:31


Post by: reds8n





That is one hell of a breakthrough.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/01/29 09:17:51


Post by: Skinnereal


But, will they hear the same stuff we do....


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/05 06:51:09


Post by: Macok


Not a newspaper. I hope I'm not banned for this...



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/09 13:09:56


Post by: reds8n





Terrible thing for someone to do.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/11 18:28:41


Post by: kronk



Police: Texas dad leaves autistic 3-year-old son at home while spending hundreds at strip club


http://www.chron.com/news/local/crime/article/Police-Pflugerville-dad-leaves-autistic-6821482.php

The mother was visiting her mother, who was dying of cancer, according to the arrest affidavit.

The mother said she noticed a withdrawal of a few hundred dollars from her fiancé’s bank account, with the transaction taking place at a strip club, The Yellow Rose, according to the affidavit.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/18 15:11:18


Post by: reds8n


http://www.gainsboroughstandard.co.uk/news/local/one-legged-animal-porn-pervert-told-he-has-walked-into-trouble-1-7736229


One-legged animal porn pervert told he has “walked into trouble”


In cases like this the authorities will always be a hop, skip and a jump ahead of you.






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/23 15:33:46


Post by: reds8n


Carpe diem !

Spoiler:








Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/25 08:50:01


Post by: reds8n


This is actually from AP but what a headline !


http://www.treehugger.com/animals/meerkat-expert-cleared-assaulting-monkey-handler-love-spat-over-llama-keeper.html

"Meerkat expert cleared of assaulting monkey handler in love spat over llama-keeper"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/25 10:31:27


Post by: Kilkrazy


That is one of the best headlines ever.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/02/25 11:03:48


Post by: jah-joshua


 Kilkrazy wrote:
That is one of the best headlines ever.


well, she was a keeper, after all...

i'll get my coat...

cheers
jah


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/02 17:17:02


Post by: Avatar 720


Absolute ing load of!

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/salford-quays-to-ban-swearing-10978987

How thedo theyplan oning policing oring enforcing such aing stupid law?

ing bastards--wait, no, no I'm sorry, don't take me away, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/04 15:27:06


Post by: reds8n


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11600150


"animal control Murray Malloch said the goats hide at night and then congregate to walk through town during the day."

note the phrasing : they're not resting or sleeping, but hiding.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/04 17:29:54


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 reds8n wrote:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11600150


"animal control Murray Malloch said the goats hide at night and then congregate to walk through town during the day."

note the phrasing : they're not resting or sleeping, but hiding.


Also (emphasis mine):

"They just come through and wreck everyone's garden," said Mr Malloch. "They eat it and then move on to another one. Everyone said they're lovely goats though."


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/11 12:40:45


Post by: Kilkrazy


It's a good story but maybe a bit long for a classic headline.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/17 14:18:23


Post by: reds8n


cracking headline !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/23 15:10:55


Post by: reds8n


It's actually a letter rather than a headline but ....

Spoiler:





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/23 15:13:31


Post by: trephines


Not a newspaper headline, but I remember once when I was on holiday in Devon that a the local radio station mentioned that "a man has demolished his shed. If you would like to collect the wood, contact this number..." That was pretty funny.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/23 17:14:11


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 reds8n wrote:
It's actually a letter rather than a headline but ....

Spoiler:





I....but....what...?

Wonder how long it will be until that argument is used to try and deny climate change?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/24 09:05:18


Post by: the Signless


 A Town Called Malus wrote:
Wonder how long it will be until that argument is used to try and deny climate change?
This gem predates that letter by one and a half years.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/25 02:35:29


Post by: Khornholio


We don't have daylight savings in Japan, and there is no drought. The evidence is mounting....


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/25 12:10:16


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 Khornholio wrote:
We don't have daylight savings in Japan, and there is no drought. The evidence is mounting....


But you do get earthquakes. So obviously daylight savings time reduces the occurrence of earthquakes but decreases rainfall and increases temperature.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/03/29 22:49:01


Post by: jasper76


<Sorry, couldn't get the link to work>


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/06 06:58:32


Post by: Kilkrazy


 A Town Called Malus wrote:
 Khornholio wrote:
We don't have daylight savings in Japan, and there is no drought. The evidence is mounting....


But you do get earthquakes. So obviously daylight savings time reduces the occurrence of earthquakes but decreases rainfall and increases temperature.


Interestingly enough, there are fewer earthquakes during winter months when the colder air gives a bit more ground pressure, so perhaps there is something in this daylight saving theory.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/07 07:58:49


Post by: reds8n


It's getting pretty mad in Cheltenham !


Spoiler:







Let's hope a govt. task force swings into action soon.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/15 00:41:00


Post by: Sinful Hero


http://www.wbbjtv.com/video/liquor-store-clerk-shoots-at-robbery-suspects/

The video is the main part of the story.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/18 11:46:59


Post by: Kilkrazy


CRIME TSUNAMI HITS HENLEY_ON_THAMES SHOCK HORROR!!!


Few arrests

Published 18/04/16

THREE arrests have been made in Henley in the last three months.

Two people were held for being drunk and disorderly while one was suspected of possessing drugs in a licensed premises.

Two other people received Section 35 notices, banning them from the town centre for up to 48 hours.

http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=199507


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/18 11:51:44


Post by: zedmeister


Henley on Thames is going to the dogs...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/18 14:22:23


Post by: reds8n






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/18 14:37:23


Post by: kronk


That is the most polite description of Kanye West I've ever seen.

Well done, newspaper man (or lady)!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/18 14:45:21


Post by: KingCracker


My favorite part is the "Mr West"

Dunno why but that's great


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/24 11:01:25


Post by: reds8n





Surely the bus driver should just stay inside every Monday & Thursday ?


And who knew owls had such a good grasp of the calendar ?!


And does this count as a hoot and run ?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/27 12:21:49


Post by: reds8n





....uh huh.

sure.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/27 13:06:28


Post by: jmurph


That is hilarious.

Charlie: Yes, councilpersons, I urgently need a nightvision device and a telephoto lens camera to combat the growing tide of nocturnal sex acts. I will record every sordid detail from clear angles to provide evidence of these foul crimes!

Councilman: Wait, so you want public funds to record people having sex?

Charlie: Public sex!

Seems like there are any number of websites he could have gotten support from.....


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/27 13:11:16


Post by: zfreie


The daylight savings = climate change.....this has made me realize I'm far to smart to be living in this world. I just cant even...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/04/28 12:22:46


Post by: zedmeister






Crumbs, I bet he really kneaded that bread. Perhaps he didn't have enough dough on him...?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/09 14:42:20


Post by: Kilkrazy


Technically this article comes from The Metro's online edition, I think their print edition would economise on the ink.

Man arrested after teaching pug to do a Nazi salute when it heard the words, ‘Sieg Heil’

Political incorrectness gone mad!

Mind you I believe his excuse.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/19 15:59:33


Post by: reds8n


not a lot to do in Hull then !?


TBF this might also be a cry for help.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/19 16:06:54


Post by: Kilkrazy


You can't beat the old ways.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/19 16:17:50


Post by: kronk


 reds8n wrote:
not a lot to do in Hull then !?


TBF this might also be a cry for help.


I would not post this on my refrigerator. 2/10, would not read again.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/20 17:30:00


Post by: Manchu


“But, I can say ‘come over to my house and see my birds’, sounds good, doesn’t it?”
Lovely stuff.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/23 18:35:30


Post by: reds8n


http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/14506849.Welly_wielding_paramedic_saves_seriously_injured_farmer_from_being_trampled_to_death_by_raging_bull/



A HEROIC paramedic armed with only a welly managed to pacify a raging bull attempting to trample an injured farmer to death.




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/23 19:53:29


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 reds8n wrote:
http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/14506849.Welly_wielding_paramedic_saves_seriously_injured_farmer_from_being_trampled_to_death_by_raging_bull/



A HEROIC paramedic armed with only a welly managed to pacify a raging bull attempting to trample an injured farmer to death.




That is seriously badass


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/23 20:25:00


Post by: kronk


A welly is a rubber boot?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/25 07:44:46


Post by: reds8n


 kronk wrote:
A welly is a rubber boot?


yup


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/05/27 08:53:41


Post by: Skinnereal


 kronk wrote:
A welly is a rubber boot?
Wellington boot:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wellington_boot

Since this was a livestock auction, there'll have been a fair few welly wangers in attendance:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wellie_wanging


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/02 14:25:11


Post by: reds8n


... I think the "Visit Sheppey" campaign might want a word with the layout editor





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/03 06:54:26


Post by: BrookM


I sometimes wonder, given the high frequency of these things happening on the front pages of British tabloids and papers, if this is a secret contest between the many publications, to see who can go the furthest.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/03 12:52:08


Post by: kronk


This is horrible.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/03 15:01:15


Post by: Kanluwen


I'm really confused...that's my local newspaper, but I don't remember any kind of morgue shooting spree!
Duh Kan...it's fake.

Wouldn't be surprised though. N&O is awful.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/03 17:36:02


Post by: kronk


Well that sucks.

I wanted a morgue shooting spree.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/03 21:32:31


Post by: Manchu


Let's hope the perpetrator managed all headshots.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/07 13:37:08


Post by: reds8n





Think this might also be the name of a band maybe ?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/08 08:08:11


Post by: reds8n


Spoiler:


Bad day for the layout editor.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/14 08:44:15


Post by: reds8n


http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Rogue-Cambridge-cow-reported-police-chasing-women/story-29392160-detail/story.html#tG58yxci4s5gE8G6.01



'Rogue' Cambridge cow reported to police for chasing women and 'mooing loudly'




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/14 12:06:50


Post by: Kilkrazy


The link's not working for me, perhaps for the best, it sounds pretty terrifying...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/16 11:38:04


Post by: reds8n


.. huh story is on the main page but will not load

meantime :

what the hell is wrong with people in Sark


"ANIMAL remains from Sark’s slaughterhouse will no longer be dumped over a cliff side as the island moves towards a more modern method, its government has decided."

More modern than throwing bits off of a cliff ?

When oh when will the busybodies stop interfering ?!



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/16 12:03:54


Post by: kronk


 reds8n wrote:
.. huh story is on the main page but will not load

meantime :

what the hell is wrong with people in Sark


"ANIMAL remains from Sark’s slaughterhouse will no longer be dumped over a cliff side as the island moves towards a more modern method, its government has decided."

More modern than throwing bits off of a cliff ?

When oh when will the busybodies stop interfering ?!



Catapults.

You get more distance that way.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/16 12:50:53


Post by: reds8n


Big wicker man/cow or something.

Make a day out of it for the whole family.

Plus the smell might make people hungry and drive sales of burgers, hotdogs etc etc .

Do it at night and might attract ships and they can be smashed on the rocks and looted err... warned of the dangerous rocks nearby.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/16 14:08:53


Post by: Kilkrazy


Population of Sark is only about 600 people, how much meat do they eat?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/17 11:44:11


Post by: reds8n


... animal or human......



meanwhile ....


nice of them to include the list!

Perhaps the reported has a vested interest.




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/20 04:33:11


Post by: toasteroven


It's nice that Joe Middleton has a hobby, but I'm not sure it's really something he should be sharing in the news.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/28 16:01:45


Post by: Kilkrazy


Not just a Viking axe related attack, a big-tim drug bust too!

Police noticed a smell of cannabis when they went to Devlin's room to arrest him, and he handed over cannabis with an estimated street value of £2.60.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/29 06:05:46


Post by: Trondheim


Every time I read this thread I am so glad that the North sea seperates the UK and Norway=D Although we too have a few odd Things appear in local news


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/29 08:37:57


Post by: Skinnereal


So, it was you who flooded Doggerland way-back-when...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/29 13:24:20


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 Skinnereal wrote:
So, it was you who flooded Doggerland way-back-when...


That sounds like a much more adult-oriented Diggerland


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/06/29 14:27:56


Post by: Skinnereal


Hence the flooding...?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/01 14:40:16


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


"Utterly horrific infected tattoo leaks veritable river of puss when treated".
-the title of a video on the Daily Mail website. Unusually eloquent for a Daily Mail headline.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/01 18:08:15


Post by: Trondheim


 Skinnereal wrote:
So, it was you who flooded Doggerland way-back-when...


Yes ofc cant let you Europeans have Even more land! That I needed a new testing ground for my long ships