This is quite obviously inspired by corrupt a wish! It is essentially the same but reversed. You say a sick and twisted wish and the other person makes it a good wish

E.g. Person 1: i wish the entire world was racist

Person 2: granted. The world is racist towards Diptera (flies)

I wish every charity is shut down

Etc.

This could work, it will probably be abandoned. It's an experiment

I wish the Axis had won WW2

Granted. The Axis won WWII in my Panzer General campaign game.

I wish GW would raise their prices again.

Granted. The prices of their models rise, then lowers after Christmas.

I wish bp hadn't cleaned up the oil spill

Granted, Shell cleaned it up for them in the spirit of mutual co-operation to help save the planet.


I wish it was legal to run over people who've annoyed you.

Granted but you can only do it on foot and you have to help them up afterwards.

I wish the atmosphere of the Earth was destroyed.

Granted, the replacement one is better anyways.

I wish everyone on this thread would die!

Granted, but death is cheap.

I wish to have my genitals dipped in boiling oil.

Granted, but it's boiling point was room temperature.

I wish all of the world's water supply was irradiated.

Granted, but then we find a replacement for water that works the same.

I wish Putin would announce he wants all of the USSR's old territories back, right up to east Germany.

Granted, but everyone else calls him a cheater and I flip the board.

I wish all vampires sparkled, and were moody.

Granted, but this group spends most of its time at Hot Topic, the Mall and in a parking lot.

I wish the Universe tunneled into a lower energy state due to false vacuum.

Granted, but I don't know what you're talking about, so it immediately changes back to normal.

I wish Grimtuff would be made admin

Granted, but he is made admin of the Games Workshop forums.

I wish the sun would expand.

Granted, but this catapults the earth away so there is no effect on the planet.

I wish Justin Bieber was immortal.

Granted. He becomes your brother who receives more love than you.


I wish you could make a meal out of Guinness. Oh, wait...you can!!

 timetowaste85 wrote:
Granted. He becomes your brother who receives more love than you.


I wish you could make a meal out of Guinness. Oh, wait...you can!!

I don't think you're getting this game. The point is to make a terrible wish and for the next player to twist it to make it better, not the other way round!

Granted since there is nothing inherently wrong with using liquor to cook.

I wish protons and electrons were no longer attracted towards each other.

Granted, they are forced to marry by their neutron parents.

I wish it was a legal requirement to burn down orphanages as you walked by.

Granted, but it also a legal requirement to fit orphanages with top quality fire escape systems.

I wish porn was banned.

Granted, due to the lack of porn people realise how much they want a lasting relationship and nobody's alone any more or actually wants any porn.

I wish A-levels were impossible to pass.

Granted. But could GCSE results are all you need in life.

I wish all my hair would fall out.

Granted, but you grow a luscious mane the next day.

I wish for a massacre that kills eight hundred peoplw

Granted. But it was on Civ 5.

I wish Putin was revealed to actually be Dracula, who starts a new world war for blood and stuff.

Granted. The GM kicks him out for derailing the plot.

I wish for my heart to be ripped out and to die alone.

Granted. Death fells sorry for you so he revives you and gives you back your heart.

I wish the day DRM gets the respect it deserves will never come.

Granted. DRM thinks you are a wonderful person no matter what you may think of it.

I wish for mass hysteria and cats and dogs living together.

The great beast stirs. It has slumbered for what seems to many like a millenia, caring little for what may happen in the outside world where mortals roam the realm of Dakka Dakka like insects. It has spent so long, it barely knows itself any more. Barely is anything any more. What once was a majestic sky dragon is now a mere vapour, less than a thought, just barely clinging onto the atmosphere like a warm breath sent alone to wander a cool night air. Surely, there is no return from such a situation? It is too far gone, all connection to the world it once knew has been cut off by the eons...
And yet... now there is a tingling. A slight sensation, that once would have been a thousand times too small to notice for this creature, has somehow reached out to it from across the void of time, somehow found this thing that no longer exists, or perhaps merely exists in a form less than a breath or thought, a mere concept of what used to be...

It awakes. Slowly, tentatively, it starts to remember what it once was, what had happened. It extends its mind, hoping to find something familiar, finding only that which is alien and new. It recoils. And yet, the nagging sensation continues. Once again, ever cautious, it extends its thoughts, reaching out for sensation of where it might be, what it might be. A thousand times, it finds only that which it doesn't know, that which it dislikes, and recoils. But then... something old. Something familiar. This thing, this itch that had brought it back to a place it had once known. And now it remembers. It remembers how to take form. It remembers how the sun's rays, dancing off its scales, would give warmth. How its great shadow, cast upon these mortal forms, would allow it once again the feeling of power. Oh, how it wished to feel that power once again...

And now, it realises what form it is. A whisp, little more. And yet, its mind is slowly coming back. It wills itself into form, slowly, feeling the power leaking back into its body, its muscles, its wings. Power... yes, there it is. The power it once controlled, however many centuries ago, once again returns, however slowly it may come back. Days come and go, months pass, seasons come and fall while its power and form return, and yet slowly, inevitably they do.

Now watch the sky, for it is descending. A tiny dot, a thousand miles away, but approaching faster than can be imagined. And before your eyes adjust, it's there, in front of you, towering a hundred meters into the sky with huge red eyes glaring directly into yours, its wing-flaps shattering the trees to your sides. It glowers down at you, sulphuric breath fogging up the atmosphere, and it speaks.

"So, you wish for 'mass hysteria and cats and dogs living together.' Very well. I shall perform this task, in a manner that is incomprehensible to even the most powerful mortal mind, and yet that results in a better world as a whole - though whether better for humanity, I cannot say."

It pauses a while, hovering, as any lifeforms previously idiotic enough to remain in the area finally flee.

"And my wish... for people to aim for a thread necromancy of even greater than Six Months next time. After all, I was enjoying my sleep until this came along..."

Awww that was so cute. I like you so much.

 p_gray99 wrote:


And my wish... for people to aim for a thread necromancy of even greater than Six Months next time. After all, I was enjoying my sleep until this came along...

Granted, but all the necro-ed threads were really great and needed reviving.

I wish............ Battle£ront could get copyright on all their WW2 stuff!

Granted. They get the copyright, and the resulting lawsuits earn so much money that they are able to drop the price of their stuff to just pennies.


I wish I could stay as the girl the Corrupt a Wish thread turned me into.

Granted, you and Matthew both get to be transgendered and trans specied people and we all love you!

I wish that thread necro brilliant guy would come redo that great story again.

Granted, he redos it as a rewrite of 50 shades that turns it from a pile of gak to the most romantic and erotic novel ever written.

I wish Mitt Romney had won the 2012 election.

Granted, but "unfortunately" had an "accident" at work, and was forced to "retire".

I wish that I was served in a burger. With no sauce.

Granted, you were served food in a burger establishment and had the option to decline sauce with your order.

I wish my arm wasn't broken.

Granted. Your arm wasn't broken.

I wish I hadn't planted a bomb in the hill.

Granted. However, the mole infestation in the hill revolts and torches your house to the ground.

I wish that I had da booty.

Granted, you get all da booty you could ever want.

I wish my stomach wasn't upset.

Granted. Your stomach is now not upset.

I wish my shirt wasn't inside out.

Granted, you put it on the right way and made sure the tag was on the inside and on your back.

I wish this thread would go away.

Granted, a NEW one appears!

I wish Monty Python dies.

Granted, the skit is the funniest ever and they continue to make us all laugh.

I wish I had a napkin

Granted, you... get a napkin?

I wish I had a bigger bed.

Granted, it is very big.

I wish for a GW interchangeable set.

Granted, it's the most interchangeable set you only ever need to buy one box to play all games GW produces. This causes GW to focus on making their games brilliant!

I wish my lab work will come back cancer free.

Granted since there's nothing directly wrong with you lab work coming back cancer free.

I wish more people would post on this thread thinking it's the same the Corrupt A Wish thread.

Granted. They do.

I wish the Sanguine Strike Company was still here.

Granted. They all decided to become pacifists and open up a cake shop.

I wish to fail all my exams.

Granted. You fail all your exams .

I wish to get something.

Granted, that something is complete satisfaction in life and freedom from want.

I wish to get lost in space.

Granted. Nobody finds you.

I wish for no pain when my braces come off today.

Granted because they isn't much wrong with feeling no pain when your braces come off.

I wish Leeds and Bradford would get nuked.

Granted. They do.

I wish for dinner.

Alright, I'm giving up here.

No wish. You die a hilariously funny death.

I wish sing your life did not give up.

Garnted, I didn't.

I wish to fall off my bike again.

Granted. You fall off your bike.

I wish for alone time from 10-4 tommorow.

HERE'S NECRO!!!!!

Granted, you get alone time and no-one bothers you.

I wish my OCD was even worse than it is right now.

Granted, but in the midst of one of your obsessive fits you discover a cure to a deadly disease.

I wish the rumors pointed to "Age of the Emperor" being an actual thing.

Granted, it turns out to be a great ruleset for both tournaments and casuals.

I wish for my parents to catch me masturbating to hardcore pornography.

Granted. You get in trouble for it.

I wish for someone to gift me with DCM status.

OOC: Are you trolling or do you really have no idea that that this thread isn't a straight copy of the corrupt a wish thread?

OOC: I'll get it going again.

I wish my friend would run me over with a golf-cart again.

Granted, he pays you $1,000,000 dollars in compensation.

I wish HBO would kill off more fan favorite GOT characters.

Granted, they are replaced with even better characters that the fans love even more than the old ones.

I wish that my car would break down

Granted, your insurance firms gets you a better replacement.

I wish Donald Trump would be elected president.

Granted, he turns out to be the greatest president the USA has ever seen, with his reforms fixing all the issues in the country.

I wish that my college workload was even tougher.

Granted, but then you are suddenly Deus Ex Machined into the new Einstein and blitz through it.

I wish for Jar Jar to be in the next Star Wars film.

Granted, he is made into an interesting and deep character who captures the hearts of all the fans.

I wish the next Star Wars film wouldn't come out for 4 years.

Granted, Disney spend that time making sure it's the best films of the entire franchise.

I wish for more 70s rock stars to die of cancer.

Granted, but before they go they all release new albums that you absolutely love.

I wish I had to get my tonsils taken out

Granted, they were full of tumors.

I wish my face would explode.

Granted, you get to be the first person who ever receives a full face transplant. Beyond looking gorgeous, you become super famous for being the first in a ground-breaking new treatment.

I wish the roads around my campus would become even worse.

Granted, effective teleportation is invented making roads obsolete.

I wish Americans were even stupider than they already are.

Granted, we become so idiotic we reach a critical mass of stupidity and then we all become geniuses.

I wish the British would be even crueler towards us Americans

Granted, we are doing for your own good.

I wish Mojang would confirm they will not add official modding support for Minecraft.

They do so, and then reveal in a surprise move that they instead added a bunch of new features that make you forget you ever wanted modding support.

No wish. You gain to power to release a horde of fish to slap anyone you don't like.

I wish to step on a nail.

Granted, when you do you suddenly receive divine inspiration for a new invention, which makes you tons of money

I wish I would continue to forget making wishes in this thread

Granted, but this is an inversion of the wish corruption thread, so good things happen to in-game when you don't make a wish.

I wish the mods would delete this sub-forum.

Granted. Through your hatred over it's removal you come across another poster online who turns out to be a beautifull girl gamer and united in your rage you meet, end up getting married and live happily ever after.

I wish people would be more hatefull

Granted, they are only hateful to people who deserve it.

I wish to be set on fire.

Granted. Your soul is on fire with new passions of creativity.

I wish to not win the lottery.

Granted, but winning the lottery would have no you relentlessly stalked by paparazzi, so you don't really miss out.

I wish for ISIS to get a nuke.

Granted, but they only manage to nuke themselves.

I wish The water crisis in Michigan would continue

Granted, the lead reacts with the water to create a new compound with has a lot of health benefits.

I iwish Privateer Press would cease distribution of their products outside America.

Granted, they do, but only because they needed time to build several more production facilities all across the globe.

I wish to be struck by lightning

Granted, the shock cures your heart condition.

I wish everyone was forced to speak in really bad rhymes.

Granted, but speaking in bad rhymes leads to several new and promising poets receiving inspiration for their next great works

I wish that my ceiling fan would break off of my ceiling

Granted. It breaks away and reveals a stash of hidden money.

I wish it would stop snowing.

Granted, all the snow was blocking the roads and grinding public services to a halt.

I wish was suddenly aged 80 years overnight.

Granted, but then you discover that you are actually immortal.

I wish my TV would break again

Granted, you decide to do something outside and have much more fun.

I wish the Asda across from my street would get closed down.

Granted, it closes and then re-opens right next to your home

I wish I had even more homework to do

Granted, the teacher doesn't mind if you don't do it.

I wish to get stabbed in the dick.

Granted, when you stab yourself you manage to remove a tumor that was growing there.

I wish that I would fall down the stairs.

Granted. Now the stairs do not squeak any more.

I wish to slip on the ice.

Granted, whilst slipping you do some fancy moves and win your state's ice dancing competition.

I wish for a huge hurricane to strike Yorkshire.

Granted, it strikes Yorkshire, and then everyone from miles around comes to help out, resulting in a great friendship being built between all the nearby cities.

I wish to get hit by a jet.

Granted, the pilots apologise and nurse you back to health.

I wish for rampant global warming,

Granted, the resulting temperature increase results in the world being sunny and warm all year around, and everyone gets to enjoy the tropics.

I wish for another ice age to happen

Granted, the continents change so everyone can live near the equator where it is still warm.

I wish it would rain even more in the UK.

Granted, and after the rain stops the UK then has extremely fertile soil.

I wish I would drop my carrying case of models down the stairs.

Granted, you find that your case is undamaged and the contents intact because battlefoam (or your favorite brand of carry case) is amazing.

I wish my Hypothalamus suddenly exploded.

Granted, it was cancerous and you get a replacement.

I wish all my models and modelling supplies would be ejected into the far reaches of the Galaxy.

Granted, your models and modelling supplies are ejected into the far reaches of the galaxy as a publicity event for your favourite models company to celebrate their latest range of products with ‘Out of this World Quality!’ putting aside the atrocious tagline they allow you to have anything you like prom their product line free of charge.

I wish Earth’s atmosphere caused humans to mutate into horrible monsters

Granted, as part of our mutations we learn not to care about appearances and all the aliens we meet consider us attractive.

I wish to get banned.

Granted, when you return to Dakka everyone admires you for what you did and thinks of you as a hero.

I wish to get shot in the leg

Granted, as a result of getting shot your leg has to be amputated, you receive a cool cybernetic leg

I wish to get punched in the face repeatedly

Granted, you punched in the face by a mouse. You hardly feel it.

I wish to fall asleep and never wake up.

Granted, you somehow wake up in heaven and experience eternal bliss

I wish to fall off of the roof of my house

Granted, when falling you discover that you can fly.

I wish my mother would die.

Granted, the autopsy reveals that she was secretly in great pain, and death was a welcome mercy from that pain.

I wish I could be hit in the leg with a hammer

Granted, being hit causes the tumour in you leg to disappear.

I wish for an asteroid to fly past the Earth and send a hail of radioactive cheese down on the latter.

Granted, the cheese is revealed to have great health benefits, and ends up curing every disease known to man

I wish that my house would catch on fire

Granted, the rain puts it out before it does any damage.

I wish to be diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Granted, you are also the person who gets to trial-run the permanent cure for schizophrenia.

I wish to have my wisdom teeth taken out again

Granted, you grow new ones.

I wish for my spleen would get stolen.

Granted, you then discover that you have regeneration powers and it grows back.

I wish that GW would raise it's prices yet again

Granted, they put more models in the box so it evens out.

I wish for aliens to invade.

Granted, they usher in a new era of world peace

I wish for my roof to fall on me

Granted, you climb out of the rubble unharmed.

I wish everyone would die!

Granted, we all go to heaven and experience eternal bliss

I wish to have a grenade thrown at my face

Granted, a grenade is also a type of alcoholic shooter (jager,white rum and an energy drink), you enjoy the rest of the night with your mates.

I wish the copious amount of Pepsi Max that I drink gives me cancer

Granted, you are the first to receive the new cure for cancer that they unveil, you are cured and become famous for being the first to receive it.

I wish that my House would be buried under snow