Do you have models which just hate to perform for you? Please share your stories!

I have 2 in my collection like this, my Blood Angels jump pack Librarian and Longstrike.

I'm sure my librarian just plain hates me, he's been in my collection a while so i can't put it down to new model syndrome and he's one of the best painted models i have so its not because he's unpainted, he just hates me. He dies in nearly every game i use him, he regularly peril's, he's been sucked into the warp trying to cast 2 games in a row and he was killed by an Ork Nob in a challenge in his last game just to give a couple of examples.

My Longstrike also hates me, but not as much, he's one shotted defilers, typhus and even killed Imperial knights however some games he just can't be bothered, one of my more recent games he rolled a one to hit 4/6 times with his railgun and one of the times he did hit he rolled a one to wound!

Now i know some people will say "oh it was just bad luck" and maybe it is just some seriously bad luck but hey.

Do any of you have models you like to use regularly that just plain hate you and refuse to perform?

Share your tales.

Any model I field with a 2+ always rolls 1s. So I've stopped ever bringing any, lol.

My SW Grey Hunters. Maybe its cause they are like 20 years old, they are cursed :(

Some of my sisters aren't so much cursed as they either roll super well or absolutely awful. I tend to fail my act of faiths far more often than I should, and when an exorcist shoots, it's either a 1 or a 6, and it will do the opposite number next turn! Lol.

Also, anytime my imperial guard vets need to take a morale or pinning check, they basically auto fail lol.

My GK Librarian always rolls Hemorrhage when going for Biomancy. Out of 5 games he rolled Hemorrhage 4 of the times.

Deffkoptas almost never kill or damage anything to the point that I only bring them when I want a distraction (banking on the enemy thinking they are a threat),

Piranhas are also generally worthless when I use them as they seem to always get immobilized or fail their first jink save.

I'm pretty sure my Orks with spikes on their helmets hate me, because every time I try to pick one up, he stabs me.

My leman russes, purely because they point blank refuse to hit anything!

I know my scatter die hates me with a burning passion. I’m not that fond of it either, but mostly I just try to avoid it and get on with my life. But I think the little bugger has poisoned my plasma cannon gunners against me. Last time I took them out, one of the pair of them killed himself rather then shoot first turn, while the other scattered off target. He then killed himself next turn.

The time before that, one of them (BS5 thanks to the sarge’s advice) wildly scattered away from the carnefex he was targeting to kill the plasma gunner in a nearby bike squad. Not his finest hour.

I like the models, but frankly the plasma cannons don’t get out much with showings like that.

I'm on good terms with most of my models, in that the times they have let me down are about equal to the times they have some through for me. If I had to choose, I would say my Striking Scorpions; they rarely manage to accomplish much before dying.

If there are any models in general I dislike, it would be Riptides for my terrible luck at managing to kill them.

 Vankraken wrote:
My GK Librarian always rolls Hemorrhage when going for Biomancy. Out of 5 games he rolled Hemorrhage 4 of the times.

I hate to be that guy, but GK Librarians don't have access to Biomancy.

Unless of course you house-ruled it. In that case, carry on!

Unit of grey knight purifiers I have, they refuse to look good with paint on them...

Feel no pain? LOL! No.

^Clearly that company's apothecary is not cutting it. Try switching it to one from a different company.

My dice.

dice are models right?

My Fortress of Redemption. Specifically the missile silo.

"Oh, the only way I can miss entirely is by scattering exactly eight inches in one specific direction? You mean scatter right...here, right?"

I can't remember killing a single model with it since I got the damn thing.

My vindicare assassin. He always hits his target, but never wounds it. Or he dies horribly turn one

my scourge have literally done nothing for me, every. and on paper, they are good units, however, with haywire, blasters, heat lances, everything, they either scatter and die, get shot down turn 1, or wiff their rolls and not deal a single hullpoint.

ugh

Brother Jose, who wields the plasma cannon in one of my tactical squads. He does nothing game after game, and then, when I'm about to give up on him, he hits a hot streak and kills hundreds of points of models in a single game.

He's a devious one, Brother Jose is.

 Saber wrote:
Brother Jose, who wields the plasma cannon in one of my tactical squads. He does nothing game after game, and then, when I'm about to give up on him, he hits a hot streak and kills hundreds of points of models in a single game.

He's a devious one, Brother Jose is.

Is that counting his own points from gets hot deaths and friendly fire? If so, mine actually have a not bad tally.

My ministorum priests succeed on their hymn rolls maybe 1 out of 5 times.

My Sterngaurd Veterans. I've lost count of the number of times one has fallen to collateral damage, sometimes inflicted by his own combi-melta.

Razorbacks. Mathhammer be damned, I can't get a TL Heavy Bolter or TL Lascannon to cause an unsaved wound on anything, regardless of Strength, AP, or Toughness.

My warboss with a powerklaw consistently loses in close combat to space marines, non-close combat eldar, and tau. He now has his own special spot in the bottom of my "what models to field" list.

Any of my Grey Hunters with Melta guns. Over the course of the game I'd fire about 12-16 shots. Hit with 3-5 of them and maybe kill 3 models. Maybe.

My chaos chosen/havok unit equipped with 4 plas guns and no marks. When used as chosen they all get hot and die or miss everthing but when used as havoks i cant remember the last time they over heated and kill lots of things. And my tzeech sorc in termi armour who always fails to cast anything and fails to save anything with a 2+ 4++.
Conversly my deamons make 5++ saves all day long (well the majority of them anyway) while killing any thing and everything.

Fate is fickle.

 Desubot wrote:
My dice.

dice are models right?

I hear that.

My wraithknight it proves over and over that its only worth 295 , but then again it may be my dice.

It seems I can't make my lonesome Sydonian Dragoon to perform( Mathematicaly he should do things I send him to do, but he usually fails.

My Mawloc. Damn thing always scatters right into the middle of nowhere, and gets shots to bits before it can burrow....

My buddy has a hellbrute that refuses to cooperate.

He's charged DE raiders more than once and missed with the powerfist. He wiffs shots with the melta aimed at basic troops.

But on the flip side it never dies, it just kinda wanders the field doing what it wants lol.

Wracks. They are just there to die pointlessly.

Chalk up another Vindicare assassin. Haven't used him in quite a while (he was the one standing on a skull, aiming down his rifle). Could not hit a damn thing. He's now been swapped for the new model from execution force, who seems to be doing alright in the game. I haven't used him in a 40k game yet...little bit afraid to!

Dark Eldar:

- My Haemonculus with 4+ poison never rolls above 3.

- Grotesques. I hear all these stories about people's Grotesques murdering half the enemy army, or shrugging off incredible amounts of firepower. All I can think is 'are we using the same models'?

When they're not dissolving to anything that so much as looks at them funny, then they're bouncing off even the flimsiest of enemy armour.

- Scourges. Despite BS4, their hit rate is about 50%. And, even though they glance on 2s, their glance rate is about 50% too.

My 40k stuff doesn't dislike me. I have some other stuff that probably does. I have several squads of Warzone minis and an entire army of BA Japanese who likely think I am a long shaft because I haven't even taken them out of their boxes to put them together or even look at them in the 6 months to a year I have had them. I fear what the Japanese SNLF is going to do the first time I put them on the table after being told they were low priority under Tau and the German SS.

My predators only hate me when I put their LCs on. If I run them AC/HB they almost always perform great. Put on triple LC, and the just miss and fail pen and wound rolls like no one's business. They have wrecked more vehicles with their AC then LC despite being fielded about the same amount either way

I remember firing 6 LC from my pair of preds at a razor back and only hitting twice then snake eyes for pen (vs amour 11). My PC devs just face palmed and were like "we got this I guess" and took it out.

When I could use him, my Marbo figure used to do the old "straight up/down" toss of his demo charge toooooo many times.

Now, its my Master of Ordnance model. He likes to scatter away from the intended target onto his friends.

my lascannon havocs who sometimes roll ALL 1'S to hit

My BS5 Warpsmith has about a 50% hit rate with his meltagun, and recently charged 5 ork slugga boys and died before he got to swing! The amount of times he's dropped to the first 2-3 wounds that come his way is also beyond statistical probability.

My heldrake often refuses to make an appearance until turn 4, though when he eventually turns up, it's usually worth the wait. Usually.

Juggernaut lord with axe of blind fury. Maybe it's because he's constantly producing skulls for the skull throne but all too often he spawns or DPs himself. It's a tragedy. If only he kept the axe...

 danpieri wrote:
When I could use him, my Marbo figure used to do the old "straight up/down" toss of his demo charge toooooo many times.

Now, its my Master of Ordnance model. He likes to scatter away from the intended target onto his friends.

Relevant: http://www.wobblymodelsyndrome.com/comic-302.html

My demon prince seems to hate the idea of being painted, if that counts.

While not hating me as such my lord has a habit of winning a challenge then rolling a 66 on the Boon table. Either him or my champions who only do it every now and then. I swear my bikes hate me too :(

My melta toting Space Marines.
I always tend to roll a 1 to hit or if they hit, a double 1 to damage.

It's kind of a mix for me..

my GK Librarian usually doesn't take a Stormbolter so he usually throws grenades and I love the idea of throwing Psych-Out grenades but whenever I do my opponent almost ALWAYS ROLLS A 6 for the perils. This happened to me when I was facing down a T10 STR 9 Greater Unclean One with Endurance and the initiative boost. I shot my psy-cannon and failed to wound and I threw the grenade hoping for something helpful. No. Just gave the Demon who was in cursed earth range a 2+ invulnerable.

Same thing happened when my Librarian threw a psykout grenade at one of the Harlequin psykers.

and a SM Conclave Librarian on a Bike.


and when he's not doing that he's perilling and forgetting how to cast invisibility on turn 1. :|

I wouldn't say any of my models hate me, but 'tau tse tung' has a valkyrie vendetta which definetly hates my vehicles - the legion medusa especially!

Pretty much every time my TWC rolls for Consolidation after winning a CC, it comes up 1" or 2". That's about the worst it gets for me, but it's incredibly consistent.

I never roll decent powers for my Farseers (both of them). And then they always get perils at least once a game (each).

Warp Spiders never kill anything. Ever.

Another Longstrike user here. he seems to get quite emotional at work with all his 1s...

Any and all lascannons. (apart from strangely one mounted on my Valkyrie that should never but does quite often.)

My THREE quad guns. They never do anything. The other day, I used them against a SINGLE squad, to try and budge them off an objective. Took literally 4 turns to whittle the squad down to 4 models from 10. Had to finish the squad off with my Death Riders.

Long Fangs. One with a missile launcher ALWAYS rolls a 2 to hit and the one with a Plasma Cannon insists on having the blast scatter the precise amount to just about miss the target.

Any of my Space Wolves who have plasma guns, they overheat and die every single game.

I have now since swapped them out for melta guns. Now the little buggers can't hurt themselves anymore.

 Hoyt wrote:
Any of my Space Wolves who have plasma guns, they overheat and die every single game.

I have now since swapped them out for melta guns. Now the little buggers can't hurt themselves anymore.

Wolf Priests' Preferred Enemy or Rune Priests with Prescience can make a huge difference.

That said, I don't remember where I got the attached image, but it's always appropriate.

Also, great choice in avatar.

Used to be my Sniper Scouts hated me or maybe they were secret pacifists. They used to always miss with their shots. With the release of the new DA book, they seem to do a bit better.

 zbg97 wrote:

 Hoyt wrote:
Any of my Space Wolves who have plasma guns, they overheat and die every single game.

I have now since swapped them out for melta guns. Now the little buggers can't hurt themselves anymore.

Wolf Priests' Preferred Enemy or Rune Priests with Prescience can make a huge difference.

That said, I don't remember where I got the attached image, but it's always appropriate.

Also, great choice in avatar.

Derp, I completely forgot wolf priests confer preferred enemy to their unit, I'll try one out, maybe then my plasma guys can kill something

Funny thing is though, my crimson fists never overheat their guns, I think in my past dozen games I've lost one to overheat.

And yeah Tali iz da bestest

Bear in mind a ML1 RP is 60 points, and giving him Divination means your Primaris is Prescience, re-rolling ALL failed to-hits, not just 1s against the declared Preferred Enemy type of a 110 point Wolf Priest (though, obviously, there are other bonuses to Wolf Priests...).

My Hammerheads both with and without Longstrike.

It's suffice to say they've been on ice since early 2014

My deathleaper has never forgiven me for lovingly converting and painting him up.
If he ever charges into combat he gets monstered.
He charged a 5 man tac squad, ignored the overwatch and challenged the sgt. He then proceeded to miss 5/6 attacks and the one that wounded bounced off the marines armour, who then laughed in his tentacled face and beat him up with his axe.
Luckily he was able to limp away with hit and run.

In fantasy my disc sorcerer hates me too. On two seperate occasions he has had to pass a 3+ reroll ones ward save after being hit by an Orc stone thrower and feels like it'd be a good time to roll a 2.

The Ion Shields on both of my Knights hate me with a passion. The models themselves perform pretty consistently, I just can't make any saves ever.

One Razorback I have also hates me so much. In all the games I've played with it, I've hit a target only twice ever (even with twin-linked) and caused total of 1 hull point of damage with it. I don't play with that model very much any more.

My lootas and shoota boyz. Out of 45 shots for the lootas and 60 for the boys ill get a whopping 3-5 hits for either. Give the boys pistols though and they hit 7/10 shots fairly consistently. At this rate my gretchin have killed more things than the lootas...

My dragon oger shaggoth ive had him for 11 years and in all that time hes only killed 2 clan rats ever!!

Hes just an embaressment but i'll have a party if he ever does good.

sorry wrong game. Though when used as a dp he rocks.

My bloody trukk. It always dies on the first turn. Always.

My Blood Angels. Out of all my armies they are the most unlucky. For whatever reason I roll a lot more 1's with them than any of my other armies, sometimes it borders on ridiculous odds with the amount of 1's I roll. I would need to make a handful of 2+ rolls and most of them would be 1's. They seem to be cursed.

My stormtalon has been intercepted and shot down before it could do anything EVERY SINGLE GAME!!

Maybe I've just played long enough, but everything I owned has performed proudly during at least 1 engagement. Yes, even the Tervigon that often just poops out guys once, or fails to manifest a single psyker power, or dies nearly right away and takes out all the guys it pooped out. Spot #2 would be the Lascannon Devastators. Been a long time since I've played with my Marines (I like being a special snowflake), but back when I was using them, they'd take always take one turn of shooting then run off the board, even when there's lots of board between them and the edge.

anything with a melta...

I don't have one, but one of my friends has a Librarian (kitbashed as his Chief Librarian) who never succeeds with offensive powers, and regularly fails his defensive powers at key moments.

Tends to get his face bashed in by my EC as punishment for disobeying his master.

My Stormtalon.

Takes forever to make his reserves roll, flies-in, chews half a squad in the first chance at shooting( ) and does Jack after that ( ).
Every... single... time.
Trying to get the Tech-Marines to look at his GPS and how sensitive the targeting system is to deceleration... something... anything.

My Icon bearing deamons they look great but are top heavy and seem to enjoy to break.

None of them, because if I take into account how many times I've used a model and taken into account averages, it will still go into the, well, average performance.

I'll second the Stormtalon!

I feel bad using it sometimes cuz I'm like oh flyers...

But then I use it and plooey. Knocked outta the sky before I can really do much with it.

Probably owes more to the other player wanting to zap it rather than any fault of the unit itself... Or is it?

Its because I missed a grille insert and the damned thing hates me!

Tervigon.

First time using it: 2,2,1.

Alright buddy, time to make up for the last time!

1,1,1.

Now bring two if I bring one, they seem to have a competition on who can spawn the most gaunts and make the Hive Mind happiest.

Slayer-Fan123 wrote:
None of them, because if I take into account how many times I've used a model and taken into account averages, it will still go into the, well, average performance.

Stop sucking the fun out of our whining with your pesky facts!

 Lammikkovalas wrote:

Slayer-Fan123 wrote:
None of them, because if I take into account how many times I've used a model and taken into account averages, it will still go into the, well, average performance.

Stop sucking the fun out of our whining with your pesky facts!

Yeah!
We all know that unpainted models are 66.6% less effective than painted

 Selym wrote:

 Lammikkovalas wrote:

Slayer-Fan123 wrote:
None of them, because if I take into account how many times I've used a model and taken into account averages, it will still go into the, well, average performance.

Stop sucking the fun out of our whining with your pesky facts!

Yeah!
We all know that unpainted models are 66.6% less effective than painted

But if you paint them TOO well, they'll never perform as well as could be expected.

 Lammikkovalas wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Lammikkovalas wrote:

Slayer-Fan123 wrote:
None of them, because if I take into account how many times I've used a model and taken into account averages, it will still go into the, well, average performance.

Stop sucking the fun out of our whining with your pesky facts!

Yeah!
We all know that unpainted models are 66.6% less effective than painted

But if you paint them TOO well, they'll never perform as well as could be expected.

And the closer a model is to perfection, the faster it dies.

But fresh paint always dies a horrible death.

The Monolith, back in 4th when I last used one.

3 games in a row it was wrecked by the first shot at it.

 Nevelon wrote:
But fresh paint always dies a horrible death.

But it's still nothing compared to unpainted. Best just to get it over with and take the hits, lick your wounds and then wreck faces.

My Lascannon Devastators. They love rolling 1s.

My Devastators. They just can't hit anything, no matter what weapons I give them. They were replaced by a Tri-Las Predator that actually hits its targets.
My Command Squad with Special Weapons, Stormshields and 4+ FNP survives nearly anything but when the most basic guns shoot at them, they die. Like 3 deaths out of 5 wounds.

 Desubot wrote:
My dice.

dice are models right?

My old set of yellow dice that match my Imperial Fists army seem to roll an unbalanced number of 1's and 2's. I've ran trials where I roll all the dice lots of times and count the results, and they seem off. However, I just cannot bring myself to part with the dice as they match, plus new dice are just another cost and I'd rather have another army.

During my most recent game, my Vindicator decided it would only kill 0 - 2 infantry models per turn, and of course got immobilized turn 2 in a swamp because I'm that odd player who doesn't take siege shields on them.

My Mordian HWS... They mostly just baffle people by managing to miss at long range whilst looking like three guys sat on very tiny, unbalanced see-saws.

Last time I used them, they failed hard for three rounds and then my team mate crashed a Dakkajet onto them.

Mephiston.

He always takes at least one perils within the first turn of casting, including back in 6th when it was just Ld test and only double 1's and 6's peril'd. I have NEVER wounded an enemy model with his plasma pistol. I HAVE however had Mephy Kill himself with his own gets hot on the pistol straight through his 2+ armor in multiple games. Even had a game where I refused to shoot before charging because he was at 1 wound, because I knew what would happen. Opponent was like "BS, 2+ to hit and 2+ armor means there's only like a 3% chance!" I proceeded to tell him "IF I was going to shoot, these would be my rolls" and promptly rolled a 1 followed by a 1. He was flabbergasted.
Mephy also likes to fail 4 inch charges with fleet for me, has never had transfixing gaze work, and has never passed a fnp.

My fate weaver has a committed relationship with the ground.

I was assembling my kataphron destroyers just yesterday. Battling with the insanely hard plastic GW is churning out these days, I applied a bit too much pressure and the hobby knife slid past the sprue and straight into my thumb.

So, my battle servitors have taken their first toll in blood - My own. A promising start.

 niv-mizzet wrote:
Mephiston.

He always takes at least one perils within the first turn of casting, including back in 6th when it was just Ld test and only double 1's and 6's peril'd. I have NEVER wounded an enemy model with his plasma pistol. I HAVE however had Mephy Kill himself with his own gets hot on the pistol straight through his 2+ armor in multiple games. Even had a game where I refused to shoot before charging because he was at 1 wound, because I knew what would happen. Opponent was like "BS, 2+ to hit and 2+ armor means there's only like a 3% chance!" I proceeded to tell him "IF I was going to shoot, these would be my rolls" and promptly rolled a 1 followed by a 1. He was flabbergasted.
Mephy also likes to fail 4 inch charges with fleet for me, has never had transfixing gaze work, and has never passed a fnp.

And I thought my Battlecannon rolls were bad, at 2 woumds per game per cannon on average!

Kharn the Betrayer.

He would kill any ONE model of the opponents assuredly. And then he'd go, "well, there's another skull for Khorne, I'm done." And proceed to immediately die the following turn whether it be to other models also in the assault or shot to death. Lazy gakker.

My divination librarian that always ends up woth my Devs... Never gets Prescience off until 2 guys are left standing and then he perils himself to death.

second place spot is my tacticals... 20 tacticals with full plasma (gun, pistol and cannon) failed to kill 5 terminators. I also run Imperial Fist tactics and somehow none of the bolters manage to hit or wound

Any 6mm infantry I meet. I just cannot get paint to work on them. Killed a whole platoon of storm troopers through paint testing. Luckily, I have two more platoons, but they are awaiting their fateful meeting with the brush...

My brother's Maulerfiend- he sends it after my dreadnought every time. And every time my dreadnought gives it a power fist enema lol.

Pretty much anything Orky. It was especially prominent during 2nd edition when almost all Ork wargear had some inherent randomness, which always looked amazing on paper "all I have to do is roll a 5 or 6", but in practice it either didn't work, or blew up and killed you.

I enjoy playing, yet it seems that my armies hate me. All of them. I just can't seem to,win a game with any type of solid victory. Haha I guess I'm the guy who shows just to play and give everybody else a victory. I'm not bitter because I do,have some epic moments. Game on!

My Dark Eldar Archon. She almost never kills (or hit) anything, and currently 4/4 shadowfield saves have failed. This resulting in her getting insta killed since its always by a Str 6+ weapon...

Anything in my CSM army with a melta just straightup hates me I 90%f the time roll a 1 to hit and if by the emperors miracle I roll a hit which doesn't happen often I will guarantee a 1 on the wound roll. in about 12 games with them ive killed 1 rhino and that is all maybe the occasional marine. must have 16+ models with meltas/ multi-meltas bane of my life haha

Had a friendly game with Ork's the other day

Used Kaptain Badruk cos he's cool (and actually has a Invul save)

First time he fired - three Gets Hot! and three failed armour saves..........dead :(

For me, it's not so much models themselves that hate me.
I'm still in the process of getting all the models for my army, so I end up using quite a few proxies. What's funny, is when I'm proxying models they work out great, but when I am using them as what they are, they fail every time.
My tactical marines with plasma proxied to have melta, grav, or flamers, works great. Keep them with the plasma they're kitted with, and they fail every roll. My marines with flamers used as flamers, fail, proxy them to have plasma, grav, or melta, they work great....
My models seem to like to pretend that they're something they're not.

Our Morkanaut hated us! We were starting to wonder why we even built the thing. Had played it 3 different times, and really hadn't done much but zip -- just kept missing -- and then kept having penetrating hits. "ZOGGIN MORKANAUT BUSTID AGAIN!"


We had been playing in an escalation league (which was VERY FUN) -- but we certainly didn't win much once the points got higher. At one point we had even borrowed a Stompa to play with our Morkanaut (for the 2500 point battle) -- and that was miserable.

http://battlegaming1.blogspot.com/2014/12/warhammer-40k-weeks-4-5-league-wrap-up.html


Then, we had worked it out to play 40K against Matt in Canada (Miniwargaming.com -- Beat Matt Batreps)....

http://battlegaming1.blogspot.com/2015/03/travel-to-miniwargamingcom-playing-matt.html

And, didn't have enough points to much other than use the big cannon -- or use the Morkanaut.

In battle #1 [Episode #119] (which people could watch on Youtube w/o subscription) we almost won at a few point. (Matt is very cool to play against -- no way are we highly skilled -- and he was very cool about talking through the battle).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ravomK2U_c

But, in battle #2 [Episode #120 -- which needs the subscription] -- the Morkanaut went CRAZY! Right up the middle, couldn't miss. Matt planned to tie the Morkanaut up with low level tyranids -- but still the Mork couldn't miss. It was all over pretty quickly....


Lesson was a very good one for us. Pretty much any model can hate you if rolls are unlucky. But, doesn't mean we should give up -- the CRAZY Morkanaut might be one battle away....

Second lesson was probably something like "the better the paintjob, the better the model fights." We are certainly starting WAY behind everyone on that score. But, once we had put the bright pink of Supreme Warboss Spork onto the Morkanaut (for the trip to play Matt) it had it's finest moment....

My farseer always gets killed by their own psychic powers.