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So, I get called up today to help out with inmate transfers. Thats where we extract inmates from cell blocks, search them, them replace them into other cell blocks due to custody levels, new admittance, going to the hole, whatever.

Anyway, I'm helping with the transfers and I'm on my way back to the place where I'm moving inmates from for another group. Once I get back, my supervisor has already gotten two inmates out and is in the process of searching both. He'd already gone thru both of their bags, and was patting down another. He instructs me to pat down the remaining inmate. I'm standing right next to him and he's facing the wall (inmates are supposed to always face the wall when 'waiting').

I begin my patdown, hands on the wall, I kick his legs out to spread them and begin my once over. Something sets off an alert in my head but I cannot quite place whats wrong. However, the inmate is clean, no contraband that I can feel, I move down and inspect his legs/feet and complete my search from behind. Once finished, I instruct the inmate to turn around and unbutton his jumper so that I can visually inspect him.

I'm immediatly aware of what was setting off the alarm in my head. This kid of 5'5" or so and a very slight build has at LEAST a decent 'B' cup of female "goods".....and I totally flinch.

"Ummm....dont undo your jumper!" I turn to my supervisors and the post's computer deputy and they're just like.."Whats wrong?" "umm, am I just supposed to search this kid by myself?" I ask. (I'd never run into this before in my 3 years here, guess I've been lucky until now) They pull of their joke without even cracking a smile, it's obvious I've been set up. "Yea! Search him!" they say. "Okay" I instruct "it" to open "his" jumper. No underwear, no t-shirt. Male plumbing AND female "terrain". "Shake out your jumper please 'sir'." He/she does. "Button your jumper back up...quick."

They got me.

Start at :43

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2LjwM3B688

So did you cop a feel?

I believe that Grizgrin has the perfect Avatar for this thread. So, how much toothpaste did you go through, Deadshane1?

okaaayy it might have something to do with the fact that I'm 16 but wtf is this?

im 12 what is this???

Oh sweet, the awkward moments thread is back.

Proceed...

warpcrafter wrote:I believe that Grizgrin has the perfect Avatar for this thread. So, how much toothpaste did you go through, Deadshane1?

No toothpaste, since I was at work for another 10 hours. However, I did go thru several peices of Trident gum.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

r3n3g8b0y wrote:okaaayy it might have something to do with the fact that I'm 16 but wtf is this?

Orkeosaurus wrote:im 12 what is this???

Stay out of jails/prisons kids, and hopefully you'll never have to find out.

Ignorance is bliss.

hay man... i bet that he is worth at LEAST 2 packs of smokes.

Androgyn FTW. I bet the jail cell was hopping last night.

G

Wait...what?

I've heard about it happening before, it might have something to do with nutrition or something.

Can someone explain XD

Thai Surprise Gentlemen.

Thai Surprise.

Stop confusing the youth, Shane.

Oh and props to Orkeo par usual.

Shane had a close encounter with the 4th kind.

G

He/She needs to get the surgery done after He/She gets out of jail, or He/She will never know the wondrous joy of "The Shocker".

Oh, so its a man with boobs?

S/he IS the shocker.

Emily! Emily Howard! I am a Lady!

My 1st thought once i read this:

If you find a bit of dangly string with a ring on it don't pull it whatever ya do, no sir.... Errr, ma'am.



G

JD21290 wrote:My 1st thought once i read this:

Meh, I'd hit it. Okay, that's as 4chan as Imma get on Dakka.

I' do GaGa.

But then, I am a bit half rice half chips when the mood takes me.

And I don't believe she is in fact a Victor/Victoria at all? Sure it was a wind up.

No smoke without fire, MDG.

Do you live in a strange world where tabloid news doesn't exist?

I'm not sure what you're getting at, d.

That tabloid journalism is fire-less smoke.

Tell that to Tiger Woods Elin Nordegren.

I did four years as a C/O at a Super Max jail here in Toronto.

Thats how we hazed new recruits.

We've all been there.