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So I've been working my new job for about a month or so and there's girl at work who does some weird things such as poking, punching, hitting me, etc. I don't know what her deal is. She does this to a couple of other people, but not everyone. It's awkward for me because I'm about 4-5 years older than she is and I don't know why she's doing this. I don't know if I should talk to a manager or something or say something to her to get her to stop. It would be one thing if I was friends with her or something, but I only know her from work.

I asked her today why she keeps doing this, and she said she didn't know.

I'm looking for some kind of resolution where I can avoid coming off as a creep or wimp for complaining about some girl touching me.

Hmm.... sounds like she is something of a "touchy-feely" type. Not a bad thing... She is probably doing it because she sees you as a friendly sort.... some-one she wants to be on friendly terms with. Don't know the ages in question here but gonna guess young.. low 20s if that. That kind of behavior is in the "brother/sister" range though.

You could just ask her to not do it so much, because you don't want others at work thinking the wrong thing about the two of you.

Punch her back on the arm.

Slightly too hard.

She'll get the message, hehe.

You should talk to your HR department and ask their advice.

This young lady may secretly like you and this is her awkward way of expressing affection. Or she might be some kind of nutter.

Either way, relationships at work are best kept on a professional basis until the team personalities have thoroughly settled down and got used to each other.

As her behaviour is making you uncomfortable, it should be stopped. That needs to be done as gently as possible in order to avoid fallout.

Just touch her wherever she touches you. See how far it goes..

If a (non-family) woman is comfortable with having physical contact with you, it generally means that she would be open to having sex with you. This girl sounds like she's attracted to you.

Is this a serious career type job or just a job?

If it is just a job and she is cute enough go ahead and dip the ole pen in the company ink, but if you plan on staying at this place a while that could get real ugly.

snurl wrote:Just touch her wherever she touches you. See how far it goes..

Only if you have a good solicitor...

Other wise, one word: Entrapment.

AvatarForm wrote:

snurl wrote:Just touch her wherever she touches you. See how far it goes..

Only if you have a good solicitor...

Other wise, one word: Entrapment.

That mindset will get you far with the ladies

Do not speak to your superiors/HR about this UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. You will lose currency next time you have a geniune problem, also you will look weak and unable to deal with problems within your team. Basically remember the interview question? This person is not a 'team player' you need to tell her as such for the benefit of the 'Team'...
EDIT: You say yu don't like her and only see her professionally? So crush her like the annoying pest she is...

Except that can come back to him negatively as well. If it bothers you so much mention it to them, if not just put up with it.

Has the behaviour continued since you asked her why she does this?

It may already have made her aware that you feel uncomfortable with it.

Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:

AvatarForm wrote:

snurl wrote:Just touch her wherever she touches you. See how far it goes..

Only if you have a good solicitor...

Other wise, one word: Entrapment.

That mindset will get you far with the ladies

This is a work situation. If you are seeking your jollies at work then you also need a good solicitor.

She's cute enough, but the age difference makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable.

I think I like Killkrazy's advice the best, everything after that was kinda eh...

Shaft it!

@The top line of KK's post is the worst advice possible, otherwise it's fine. Unless you know your superiors/HR personally you cannot trouble them with what is essentially a trifling matter, you will get screwed, possibly even put first in line to be fired. Yep lets fire Mr zero initiative, who is a taddle tale.

I'm on really good terms with my bosses, they're actually talking about promoting me right now...but maybe this could kill that if I bring it up.

Again, has the problem persisted since you asked her about it?
It may just need you to ask her to stop.

Albatross wrote:If a (non-family) woman is comfortable with having physical contact with you, it generally means that she would be open to having sex with you. This girl sounds like she's attracted to you.

*shake hands* ....TAKE ME!!!

Uppercut her, then yell "I AM THE MAN".

Good call, it's kindof of close to a stock interview question:
One of the Team isn't pulling their weight what should you do?
Stock (Right) answer: I like to be open amongst collegues and appreciate them doing the same, i would make them aware of the problem myself and tell them the team is suffering as a result.
The other one i think KK is getting confused by is:
You catch a colleague with 'their hand in the till' what would you do?
Stock (right) answer: As this is a criminal act i would immediately report it to management.
Wrong answer: I would have a word with them myself.

Amaya wrote:She's cute enough, but the age difference makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable.

I think I like Killkrazy's advice the best, everything after that was kinda eh...

It is pretty normal for women to like the company of men a few years older than themselves, and it is very much relative to your ages

13 and 18 is pretty bad

25 and 30 is pretty normal

93 and 98 who the heck cares

as far as whether you pursue her or not that's your own business, but if your not interested and pull managers into it your going to look to them like a wuss who is afraid of girls, or a socially incompetent boob who can't figure out when a chick likes him or both, or at the very least irritate them by drawing their attention to a pretty trifling matter.

Perkustin wrote:@The top line of KK's post is the worst advice possible, otherwise it's fine. Unless you know your superiors/HR personally you cannot trouble them with what is essentially a trifling matter, you will get screwed, possibly even put first in line to be fired. Yep lets fire Mr zero initiative, who is a taddle tale.

I'm inclined to agree,I really see no reason to involve management in a situation that could be resolved simply by politely/but firmly stating " Hey (insert girls name here)..no offense,but I really don't care for being poked/touched,it's just a me thing..nothing personal...but I'd appreciate it if you'd stop"....then move on with your business..
...Unless of course on some level your actually enjoying the attention this young woman is giving you.

FITZZ wrote:

Perkustin wrote:@The top line of KK's post is the worst advice possible, otherwise it's fine. Unless you know your superiors/HR personally you cannot trouble them with what is essentially a trifling matter, you will get screwed, possibly even put first in line to be fired. Yep lets fire Mr zero initiative, who is a taddle tale.

I'm inclined to agree,I really see no reason to involve management in a situation that could be resolved simply by politely/but firmly stating " Hey (insert girls name here)..no offense,but I really don't care for being poked/touched,it's just a me thing..nothing personal...but I'd appreciate it if you'd stop"....then move on with your business..
...Unless of course on some level your actually enjoying the attention this young woman is giving you.

I am somewhat and therein lies the problem. I'm older than her, (she's 19 and I'm 23) and she does it with a couple of other people too, so I don't know if this is just how she acts with people she considers friendly (and even though I may come across as a jerk at times on the forums about politics, I am very friendly with people in RL), or if it is something different.

/shrug

I work in a few hours so I'll talk to her if I get a chance.

Amaya wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

Perkustin wrote:@The top line of KK's post is the worst advice possible, otherwise it's fine. Unless you know your superiors/HR personally you cannot trouble them with what is essentially a trifling matter, you will get screwed, possibly even put first in line to be fired. Yep lets fire Mr zero initiative, who is a taddle tale.

I'm inclined to agree,I really see no reason to involve management in a situation that could be resolved simply by politely/but firmly stating " Hey (insert girls name here)..no offense,but I really don't care for being poked/touched,it's just a me thing..nothing personal...but I'd appreciate it if you'd stop"....then move on with your business..
...Unless of course on some level your actually enjoying the attention this young woman is giving you.

I am somewhat and therein lies the problem. I'm older than her, (she's 19 and I'm 23) and she does it with a couple of other people too, so I don't know if this is just how she acts with people she considers friendly (and even though I may come across as a jerk at times on the forums about politics, I am very friendly with people in RL), or if it is something different.

/shrug

I work in a few hours so I'll talk to her if I get a chance.

The age differance isn't that great..nothing that would cause eyebrows to raise IMO,and it seems (based on the limited information) that these pokes/jabs are simply this young woman's way of expressing "friendship" (or perhaps "interest")...
No real harm here...but,I'd attempt to keep the work relationship profesional..( Romantic relationships on the job quite often end badly).
As I said,I'd suggest speaking to her in a friendly yet firm manner if you really wish for her to keep her hands to her self...if not,accept it as part of her personality and get back to work.

I think what FITZ is trying to say is to keep it on the down low and to take pictures so that when things go wrong you can share them with everyone in the company. That way you have proof. That should keep anything from going wrong.

Ahtman wrote:I think what FITZ is trying to say is to keep it on the down low and to take pictures so that when things go wrong you can share them with everyone in the company. That way you have proof. That should keep anything from going wrong.

Exactly...an extensive photo collection is a wonderful thing to have at ones disposal for the prevention of future "entanglements."

Wow, you people are way to serious. She is flirting with you! If you enjoy it, flirt back and maybe you'll find out she is a nice chick that is into you, if you don't ignore it and she will give up. There is no need for pictures and lawyers and HR reps just cause some young girl has taken a fancy to you. Also, since you say she does it to a few other people, do they happen to all be guys around your age range? That would be flirting and yes a lot of it can and does happen at work as that is often the only way some people meet new people to flirt with.

Also, if you think there is something wrong with a 19 year old and a 23 year old dating that is a problem with YOU dude, not the dating situation. I've met a few very happy couples with a lot larger age gaps than that.

Try having a pleasant conversation with her to find out if she is an alright chick or a nut before you decide to lecture her on appropriate work behavior. If you think your going to tell her to stop and she just says "ok" and that's the end of the story, then you apparently have never rejected a woman.

I think you have confused being at work with being at a bar.

Ahtman wrote:I think you have confused being at work with being at a bar.

I hate when I do that...
The boss hates it even more though.