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Granted. You spill soda on them.

I wish for the new stuff to arrive.

Granted! Upon further inspection, though, the "new stuff" is nothing more than a rehash of the "old stuff" that nobody liked in the first place.

I wish I had a better backhand in Ping Pong.

Granted. Your backhand is so good you rise through the Championship. You are now the Ping Pong World champion. Ping Pong get a surge in popularity. Huge sponsored stadiums and all. Unfortunate I also aquires a massive gambling ring. You are approached by a bunch of shady characters who suggest that you lose your next match or accidents will happen. Your amazing backhand prevents you from loosing. So you "loose" IT...

I wish all the things I like where not being taken from my life.

Granted. All things you like stay in your life, but all things you don't like starts to occure more and more frequently.
Oh, and before I forget, your dog died too.

I wish I will once die a happy man.

 Hawky wrote:
Granted. All things you like stay in your life, but all things you don't like starts to occure more and more frequently.
Oh, and before I forget, your dog died too.

I wish I will once die a happy man.

Granted. Next time you're happy, you explode instanteously.


I wish there was a competition to win a full, NoS space marine chapter, kits picked by me, no cost as its a competition, and that I win said competition.

Granted. But they take 10 years to deliver thr prize, all the kits have changed and its missing all the cool new weapons, units and sculpts but you get one free ork boy for the delay.

I wish that the weather would have a nice cooling breezze.

Granted. Wind's temperature is exactly 1K. Now that's cool.

I wish I could run faster than Usain Bolt.

Granted! Your speed is mind-blowing, however, your stopping ability is non-existent. One race and wall...so sad.

I wish I could speak every language fluently and with accurate, local accent.

Granted, but you can speak only the basic sentences, like:
"Where are the toilets?", "What time is it?", "How much it costs?", "Yes please," and "Please, fondle my bum."

I wish I could calculate anything, anytime.

 Hawky wrote:
Granted, but you can speak only the basic sentences, like:
"Where are the toilets?", "What time is it?", "How much it costs?", "Yes please," and "Please, fondle my bum."

I wish I could calculate anything, anytime.

Granted, but you have to calculate everything, all the time, at every single possible opportunity. And you have to show your working out.

I wish I had all the powers of DC's Flash but there were no supervillains now or ever to deal with.

EDIT:

 Hawky wrote:
Granted. Quote "you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" applies to you.

PERFECT! Exactly what I wanted.

Granted. Quote "you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" applies to you.

I wish to be an airline pilot.


EDIT// I'm glad I hit the right one. My other ideas were that you are either bound to wheelchair or you are the only person who isn't afected by gravity, so you randomly float around.

Granted! Your license is only recognized by an Aeroflot knock-off operating out of Kyrgyzstan, whose fleet consists of replicas of the Wright Brothers original aircraft used at Kitty Hawk. A 200 mile trip takes 3 months.

I wish Spider-Man and Venom could just get along.

Granted. They decide your worse and both start hunting you down.

I wish that I own google and it is profitable, stable and makes me rich.

Granted! Unfortunately you've invested your wealth with Bernie Madoff and it has vanished into the ether. Your company and all assets are confiscated by the IRS and your creditors as the loans you took out to finance the business are now overdue and legal proceedings have driven you into bankruptcy. The real Google is also suing you for copyright infringement for using "google" as your company's name.

I wish Antarctica had a Disney theme park.

Granted, but it only caters to penguins

I wish to start a Death Guard army

Granted. You can find only one suitable figure for it.

I wish to enjoy my vacation.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You can find only one suitable figure for it.

I wish to enjoy my vacation.

Granted. Good luck with the trip home, be a shame if a meteor hit your car/boat/plane.


I wish this wish would come true.

Granted! The meteor hits Snurl's car which, for some reason, you'd borrowed for the day and Snurl just happens to be in his boat when it does.

I wish for the Penguins to repeat as Stanley Cup champions this year!

Granted. Then a meteor hits their bus on the way to the victory party.

I wish for nothing bad to happen.

Granted. Meteor hits you while you walk for insurance money for your destroyed car. Since you are not anymore, your wish ceased to apply.

I wish to see the aurora borealis.

Granted! While hiking on a vacation in Iceland, you see the Northern Lights in all their glory as you trip headlong into a crevasse filled with magma and a colony of surly, hungry Puffins.

I wish the meteor bouncing around this thread would take a detour over to Steve Bannon's house and visit...repeatedly.

(There are Puffins on polar caps? )

Granted. Unfortunately, his house has anti-meteor insurance, so despite complete annihilation of his house, he gets so much money to buy two of them.

I wish I could controll Earth's gravity.

Granted. But you forget the instructions to the machine, create a neutron star grade gravity size of earth that reduces solar system to a black hole.

I wish that I was king of the hill, and my hill was safe from invaders.

Granted. Then the Hill is nuked from orbit.

I wish to reassemble the broken hill pieces.

Wish granted - unfortunately the underlying radiation from your earlier bombardment causes incurable cancers of your lungs, brain, testicles and arse.

I wish the forge world space marine weapons were released in plastic, as resin can be a pain to work with.

Granted. New FW plastic weapons series are real, but 3 times more expensive than the Resin ones.

I wish to be invisible.

Granted. But only to those you love..

Everyone else can see you. And you eternally have no family, friends etc. It even makes you invisible on social media, tv, and more.

I wish I had a cuddly dinosaur.

 jhe90 wrote:
Granted. But only to those you love..

Everyone else can see you. And you eternally have no family, friends etc. It even makes you invisible on social media, tv, and more.

I wish I had a cuddly dinosaur.

Granted, but it's this sad T-rex



I want to go back to bed

Granted, but you can't go back to sleep.


I wish my life was more like an action movie.

Granted! Unfortunately it's as exciting as Arnold Schwarzenegger's 'Last Action Hero'...gets about the same ratings too.

I wish Tuna could sing world-class opera.