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Granted! Your record quickly becomes 0-1, with no chance for a comeback...or walking...or feeding yourself...or remembering your name...


I wish I could spend a month following around and chilling with Stephen Hawking.

 BigWaaagh wrote:
Granted! Your record quickly becomes 0-1, with no chance for a comeback...or walking...or feeding yourself...or remembering your name...


I wish I could spend a month following around and chilling with Stephen Hawking.

Granted. You are now his PA and have to do everything for him, from feeding, dressing and cleaning (including Number 2). Meanwhile he's entirely condescending due to the massive IQ gap and refuses to reveal any information about his work due to paranoia.

I wish for a chocolate biscuit.

Granted, but it's WAY past it's expiration date. You later find yourself having a date with the porcelain throne as the biscuit comes back with a vengeance.

I wish for some fresh and tasty cheese curds.

Granted. They where fresh in 1789

I wish that it was cooler!

 jhe90 wrote:
Granted. They where fresh in 1789

I wish that it was cooler!

Granted. The whole world cools down by 5 degrees sending us all into a new Ice Age. Billions die to food shortages and freezing temperatures.

I wish losing weight wasn't such an awful experience.

Granted! It's joyous...in a masochistic sort of way.

I wish I could finish one of the 3 armies I have in various stages of doneness at the moment.

War Kitten wrote:Granted, but it's WAY past it's expiration date. You later find yourself having a date with the porcelain throne as the biscuit comes back with a vengeance.

I wish for some fresh and tasty cheese curds.

I hate you because this is exactly what happened.

BigWaaagh wrote:Granted! It's joyous...in a masochistic sort of way.

I wish I could finish one of the 3 armies I have in various stages of doneness at the moment.

Granted. In their very first game, they follow the "newly painted units get obliterated" law and get obliterated, as your opponent follows a rule where destroyed models are literally destroyed.


I wish it was back down to average summertime temperatures in Ireland. I've had enough of this 22C bullgak

Granted but the avaerge that was used is the gobi desert and its now so hot you cannot walk to the shops at noon.

I wish for powers of controled teleportation.

Granted! The control only extends to teleportation between your shower and the active lava flows emanating from Kīlauea Volcano.

I wish I had Mr. Freeze's freeze ray gun and it was perfectly operational.

Granted. It is a perfectly operational movie prop.


I wish to find Jimmy Hoffa.

Granted. You find him, but no one can find you.

I wish to find a reasonably priced restaurant.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You find him, but no one can find you.

I wish to find a reasonably priced restaurant.

Granted. How do you feel about rat infestations?


I wish for 5 extra minutes tomorrow morning

Granted but your late on a day that the boss hands out free mercades sports car and end up with the left over spare company branded box of mugs.

I wish I was not allergic to beer... :(

Granted. You are now allergic to water. And sunlight.


I wish to be able to do a full split.

 Chaos Legionnaire wrote:
Granted. You are now allergic to water. And sunlight.


I wish to be able to do a full split.

Granted. You then show off in front of all your friends, splitting your trousers open.

I wish an Alien Vessel crashed on Earth giving humanity advanced tech and a reason to unite (the threat of aliens).

Granted. No one believes you, they hand you a tinfoil hat.

I wish to get everything done today.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. No one believes you, they hand you a tinfoil hat.

I wish to get everything done today.

Granted. You get everything done. Everything. From your daily tasks to discovering the meaning of life. With literally nothing left to do, mankind devolves into a hedonistic, 7 billion strong orgy, birthing Slaanesh's ugly twin bro-sister and dooming the human race to being devoured by the Dark Gods.

I wish that any wishes here became true once a response was posted.

Granted! Unfortunately the only thing you had on your 'to do' list for today was get a full body waxing.(Ninja'd by Deadshot)

I wish the politicians in my State's legislature weren't such self-serving donkey-caves.

Granted. Instead, they serve their corporate masters dutifully, ignoring their own needs.

I wish for Fires Of Cryaxus in my hands right now.

 Verviedi wrote:
Granted. Instead, they serve their corporate masters dutifully, ignoring their own needs.

I wish for Fires Of Cryaxus in my hands right now.

Granted. Apply cold water to burned area and seek medical attention immediately.


I wish this fething cat would stop harassing me

Granted. Feeling rejected, it runs away.

I wish for a good storage solution.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. Feeling rejected, it runs away.

I wish for a good storage solution.

Granted. It is perfect but its located in the core of a nuclear reactor on full power output.

I wish I was less tired,

Granted. You are now wide awake, and you will continue to be wide awake for the next 72 hours until you collapse from exhaustion.

I wish that I could have a nice tall glass of ice tea

Granted. Unfortunately, the leaves used to make the tea were poison oak.
The side affects are most unpleasant.


I wish I could learn the secrets of the Ancient Aliens.

Granted. Your head explodes.

I wish to relax.

Granted. You miss the sharknado warning that's about to hit your town and have to avoid flying sharks.

I wish transformers was less bad after the 2nd film.

Granted. It is less bad, but still terrible.


I wish to see a shooting star.

Granted. You wondered why it was getting bigger, but then it hit you.

I wish to find time.

Granted! But the "time" you find is a box of 'Time' magazine back issues, in a box, at a flea market. They're full of gakky mold spores and stains that just don't seem at all natural.

I wish I was chillin' on the beach at Little Palm Island right now, with a fresh, frosty Pina Colada in one hand and a fine Cuban cigar in the other...ahhhhhhhh.

Granted. You are buried feet up in the sand too.

I wish to see the inside of the pyramids.