corrupt a wish!

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**kastelen**

Granted, although it costs all of your earthly possessions and firstborn to get the base rules.

I wish sleeping was optional.

**snurl**

Granted. It's optional. Passing out, however, is mandatory.

I wish the owls would drive off the skunks.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but the skunks have retaliated with small arms fire... Duck!

I wish to arm bears.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but Smokey starts gunning people down for not using proper fire safety and scores die.

I wish it was the weekend.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Just in time for your early Saturday morning scheduled colonoscopy.

I wish I would have kept a journal of all the wine I've tried in my life.

**snurl**

Granted. But you can't begin to read it, as you were under the influence when you scribbled it down.

I wish to form a religon and attract followers.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You soon have hundreds of squirrel worshippers. Thousands maybe, all singing of the great Nut in their little squirrel chitters. They don't ever leave you alone. Ever.

I wish to be debt free

**snurl**

Granted. You have nothing.

I wish to speak fluent squirrel.

**Valkyrie**

Granted. You can speak fluent squirrel but lose all comprehension of English and other human languages.

I wish I could find the damn phone socket in my new flat so I can actually get the internet set up.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You found it! But it doesn't work.

I wish for a new PS4 controller...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but all non-sony devices were removed from your home per the new EULA on the back of the box.

I wish to be able to speak in all languages

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but since the human brain can't handle all that you become catatonic.

I wish I was the lone deciding voice of which games get played in my town.

**Hawky**

Granted. It's Hunger Games.

I wish for an AR-15.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You get your shiny, new AR-15 and a visit from Interpol.

I wish I could make decent Bananas Foster at home.

**snurl**

Granted. You run a foster home for bananas.

I wish for less work drama.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You don't encounter the drama any more but everyone glares at you hatefully when you walk into a room until you leave. They say nothing, do nothing, but glare.

I wish for a rousing adventure that leaves me knee deep in loot and glory.

**Hawky**

You were on a rousing journey to conquer a pigpen. And after placing your flag in the middle of the yard, you stand knee deep in your sticky, smelly loot.

I wish to fly a spaceship into space and back.

**Valkyrie**

gruebot wrote:
GRANTED! You found it! But it doesn't work.

I wish for a new PS4 controller...

Quite a scary coincedence. I did indeed find the socket...but it isn't wired into anything.

**snurl**

Granted. Just after takeoff, you realise you should have used the lavatory first.

I wish the kleenex box was everfull.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it's also wired to a internet accessible camera that rewards tissues based on the number of viewers

I wish for complete mastery of SQL

**Valkyrie**

ChargerIIC wrote:
Granted, but it's also wired to a internet accessible camera that rewards tissues based on the number of viewers

I wish for complete mastery of SQL

Granted. You now have complete mastery of San Carlos Airport (IATA Code: SQL).

I wish my broadband connection would actually be up and running.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but your new provider is Cousin Oleg's Internet Co. and you get massive Russian pop ups with no blocker.

I wish I wouldn't have dislocated my shoulder.

**Hawky**

Granted. Your shoulder is perfectly healthy, but instead, both of your legs were relocated elsewhere.

I wish to fly in a fighter jet.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You've been strapped to the back of the fuselage with neither clothing no O2 supply.

I wish to move Orktober to 2019 >

**Valkyrie**

ChargerIIC wrote:
Granted. You've been strapped to the back of the fuselage with neither clothing no O2 supply.

I wish to move Orktober to 2019 >

Granted. Orktober has now been moved to 2019BC.

I wish for a delicious bacon sandwich. Crispy juicy bacon, thick layer of butter and ketchup on inch-thick farmhouse bread.

**snurl**

Granted. Its sealed in clear acrylic plastic and makes a fine paperweight.

I wish people would stop fixing stuff that isn't broken.

**Hawky**

Granted. It's behind an inch-thick bulletproof glass.

I wish my wife had fewer books.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, her new Porn collection had removed the need or space for you to live with her any more.

I wish to live in Eden

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but Babra Eden isn't happy about you living in her.

I wish I had a trained chimp that made good spaghetti.

**Hawky**

Granted. Your food is usually full of its fur and dead fleas.

I wish to own a lorry.