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Amaya wrote:She just likes me as a friend. What's the deal here? I told her that was fine.

Not really:

Amaya wrote:I reply, "That's fine. I'm more than happy to be nothing more than friends with you."

This smacks of desperation. Maybe she doesn't even want to be friends with you.

There may also be some other issue that's complicating things. For example, a pending-but-not-quite-ripe breakup with a soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. Or a stalker. Who knows.

Alternatively, she may simply be crazy. This is should not be discounted.

I am going to be brutally honest here (ok not really if I were brutally honest I’d be slamming you against the wall merely to accentuate my point). OK, again I am only posting because you’re potentially going to get very very hurt here, and not emotionally (who cares about that) but in the old pocketbook. You’ve set yourself up to be the potential subject of a government lawsuit. DO YOU GET THAT???

She doesn't like me, but for some reason won't say so. Doesn't make sense to me. Aside from my stature, which isn't even particularly big to begin with (6' 190), I am a non threatening person. My bosses like me, I joke with them a lot, I get along with pretty much everyone I work with there, and I'm generally considered a decent and friendly person. (Yes, from time to time I can see rude things to people on forums, my apologies)

Again this goes back to the above. You’re talking high schooler bs here. None of that matters for the world of hurt you’ve opened yourself up to. Put on your big girl panties and snap the feth out of it.

She just likes me as a friend. What's the deal here? I told her that was fine.

***Maybe so maybe not. Maybe she’s nuts. Maybe you’re nuts. But at any point she can file a complaint against you, and potentially with merit at this point. When the best case scenario is getting fired, maybe you’ll understand.

She likes me, but doesn't want to be in relationship, is socially awkward, insert multiple other reasons here. /shrug 'tis possible.

***Maybe so maybe not. Maybe she’s nuts. Maybe you’re nuts. But at any point she can file a complaint against you, and potentially with merit at this point. When the best case scenario is getting fired, maybe you’ll understand.

She's freaking nuts. Sadly, this is possible. Is this what you're thinking Frazzled?

***Maybe so maybe not. Maybe she’s nuts. Maybe you’re nuts. But at any point she can file a complaint against you, and potentially with merit at this point. When the best case scenario is getting fired, maybe you’ll understand.

So again, Defriend her or whatever. Do not communicate with her AT ALL outside of a work environment. Assume you are being watched in any further communications you have with her at this point. Always, always, have another person in the room with you at all times she is about.

Hopefully you will learn from this incredible lapse in judgment and not do it again, but only if you understand what you did.
Business is business, outside of work is separate. Keep them that way.

Dude, you are freaking paranoid.

Amaya wrote:Dude, you are freaking paranoid.

No...there is a huge difference between being paraniod and in acting in your own best interest....the potential for this situation to become a gak storm is quite clear...but perhaps you'll have to get smacked over the head with it before you get that...

Amaya wrote:Dude, you are freaking paranoid.

Never mind. You're probably right. To prove that to her you're really a fun guy and can indeed be just a friend (at least for now until she sees your good side) I'd send pictures of yourself through FB on her wall of all the parties and events you have been to. That should help her understand you're on the up and up. I'd leave notes on her desk reminding her to check her FB for these pics in case there's a glitch and she is not getting them. Remember if she doesn't reply to these, there could be a glitch so be sure to re-send them to her. Sometimes it takes three or four times for her to get them or catch them, even if they look like they are already there.

Yeah, I think you're being paranoid here Frazzled, because everyone else I've talked to about this does not consider it to be remotely serious in legal terms. In fact no one has even mentioned that.

Just you.

Now people have told me to steer clear because that girl obviously has problems of some sort.

Amaya wrote:Yeah, I think you're being paranoid here Frazzled, because everyone else I've talked to about this does not consider it to be remotely serious in legal terms. In fact no one has even mentioned that.

Just you.

Now people have told me to steer clear because that girl obviously has problems of some sort.

You're completely correct. I am overly paranoid. As I noted, there's undoubtedly some miscommunication. let her see the real you.

You could at least try to be funny when you're being sarcastic. I'm done talking to you.

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

Sexual Harassment
It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.

Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.

Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
Facts About Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Title VII applies to employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments. It also applies to employment agencies and to labor organizations, as well as to the federal government.

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.

Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances, including but not limited to the following:

The victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex.
The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, an agent of the employer, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or a non-employee.
The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.
Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim.
The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.
It is helpful for the victim to inform the harasser directly that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. The victim should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available.

When investigating allegations of sexual harassment, EEOC looks at the whole record: the circumstances, such as the nature of the sexual advances, and the context in which the alleged incidents occurred. A determination on the allegations is made from the facts on a case-by-case basis.

Prevention is the best tool to eliminate sexual harassment in the workplace. Employers are encouraged to take steps necessary to prevent sexual harassment from occurring. They should clearly communicate to employees that sexual harassment will not be tolerated. They can do so by providing sexual harassment training to their employees and by establishing an effective complaint or grievance process and taking immediate and appropriate action when an employee complains.

It is also unlawful to retaliate against an individual for opposing employment practices that discriminate based on sex or for filing a discrimination charge, testifying, or participating in any way in an investigation, proceeding, or litigation under Title VII.

Reading through this thread, Amaya, I'm not going to lie, you should be careful. Extremely careful. It's very easy for a man, especially a physically imposing man, to quickly become the bad guy in the eyes of the law and your employer. If this woman feels slighted and is "freaking nuts," there's nothing to stop her from legally going Necromunda on your posterior.

So if she SEEMS strange enough that you feel physically uncomfortable, stay as far away from her as you can without alerting her that you're avoiding her. Be nice, smile at her and nod, but treat her the way you'd treat any other coworker.

Hopefully, though, she just has an adorable crush on you and just can't get up the courage to ask you out.

Frazz may be taking the possibilities to an extreme Amaya but you should really be heeding his advice, as having read this entire thread (especially the whole Facebook debacle) it doesn't seem out of the question.

If it was me I'd just leave the situation be. Only talk to her in the work environment, and generally don't give the whole matter much thought again. If she makes a decision she'll probably let you know. Furthermore, if anything does go wrong in a work environment the whole situation will rapidly go south.

Frazz is the freakin Man. Ignore his sound, and expert advice ('School of Hard Knocks' is a hard University!!!) at your peril.

I'm very serious about this. He has actually given you the soundest advice of all.

The sarcasm was in the entirely correct tone, based on your denial of the obvious facts.

Fact is - I read this TRAIN WRECK from the OP.

1. THE CHICK IS NUTS. IT'S LIKE 12 YEAR OLD BEHAIVIOR TO INITIATE PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT THIER PERMISSION.

2. She has control issues. Whist you were in the "WTH is going on" time, she was in control - you were wondering what to do, when and how. When you decided 'I'll crap where I eat" - she freaked out - thus the lame replies to your fairly simple questions. Again. Control.

3. The barest of contact(And I DONT mean physical), only whilst around other workmates is the room you have painted yourself into.

Crikey.....

No more using OT as blog space for our personal lives. Thanks.