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Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





Palitine Il

Granted, they’re all welded together to ensure the connections don’t break.

I wish I could get a good night’s sleep.
   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted. It will last 8 hours. You'll be awake for one century for each hour you did sleep.

I wish to instantly know what the best Christmas Gift would be for any given person

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in cz
Mysterious Techpriest






Fortress world of Ostrakan

Granted. You know the deepest desires of any person you look at and you stop talking to half of your friends because of that.

I wish I was the most attractive man.


Neutran Panzergrenadiers, Ostrakan Skitarii Legions, Order of the Silver Hand
My fan-lore: Europan Planetary federation. Hot topic: Help with Minotaurs chapter Killteam






 
   
Made in us
Hardened Veteran Guardsman




England

You get crushed to death under the million-strong pile of women.

I wish to do well in all my exams.

See that stuff above? Completely true. All of it, every single word. Stands to reason. 
   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted, but due to a bit of morning drinking, they were Military Entrance Processing exams. Welcome to the world of General Infantry.

I wish to be brilliant

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in cz
Mysterious Techpriest






Fortress world of Ostrakan

Granted. You became a brilliant and some golddigger bimbo wears you on her ring. And you have to listen to her talks all day.

I wish I was the best marksman in the world.


Neutran Panzergrenadiers, Ostrakan Skitarii Legions, Order of the Silver Hand
My fan-lore: Europan Planetary federation. Hot topic: Help with Minotaurs chapter Killteam






 
   
Made in ch
Revered Rogue Psyker





Granted. You are the best marksman, correction, were. You just got rolled over by a tank and then shelled because your enemy got paranoid about you.

I wish for more independence in my work.

   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted. Your company is now an open source foundation that no longer pays its 'volunteers'

I wish for a fishing boat

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted. It can be found off the coast of Long Island and is named The Orca. Some assembly required.

I wish the weather would change.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut




Halandri

 helgrenze wrote:
Granted. It can be found off the coast of Long Island and is named The Orca. Some assembly required.

I wish the weather would change.
Granted! You now have a sixteen year old Scandinavian girl hounding you.

I wish political discussions were permitted again on dakka dakka.
   
Made in cz
Mysterious Techpriest






Fortress world of Ostrakan

Granted. Antifa gets its own forum section and they are untouchable.

I wish I had unlimited access to bananas.


Neutran Panzergrenadiers, Ostrakan Skitarii Legions, Order of the Silver Hand
My fan-lore: Europan Planetary federation. Hot topic: Help with Minotaurs chapter Killteam






 
   
Made in ch
Revered Rogue Psyker





Granted. You are also never going to eat anything else anymore and going to live 500 years.


I wish for less tarifs.

   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted. Internet usage taxes just became all the rage.

I wish I could finish this manuscript

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut




On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!

Granted! You're immediately sued for copyright infringement by a 35 year old living in his mom's basement who self-published pretty much the exact same thing 4 years ago.

I wish I could talk with my dog and vice-a-versa.

   
Made in cz
Mysterious Techpriest






Fortress world of Ostrakan

Granted. Your dog won't resist walking with you only when you are dressed in skimpy women's clothes and army boots.

I wish to be a witness to this event.


Neutran Panzergrenadiers, Ostrakan Skitarii Legions, Order of the Silver Hand
My fan-lore: Europan Planetary federation. Hot topic: Help with Minotaurs chapter Killteam






 
   
Made in gb
Paranoid Sector Lord





The new Sick Man of Europe

Granted, the dog yells out al, your most embarrassing secrets.

I wish cancer didn’t exist.

DC:90+S+G++MB++I--Pww211+D++A++/fWD390R++T(F)DM+

Boggy Man: 10 weird tricks Single Mom discovered turn you into Sigmarine with perfect abs! Nagash hates her!
Feeder: (the gospel according to)Paul is just ancient fanfic that got retconned into canon somehow. 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut




On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!

Granted! Ebola, being the opportunistic virus that it is, seizes the opportunity to grab the spotlight and mutates into an even more horrific, Nurgle-esque disease without a cure or effective treatment.

I wish I had Wolverine's regenerative powers.

   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





Palitine Il

Granted, they recognize your genetic make up as cancerous and rapidly “fix” it. Within minutes you are a Wolverine clone and “you” as a unique person are effectively dead.

I wish I could summon an endless army of attack monkeys that are loyal only to me.
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut




Halandri

 ChaoticMind wrote:
Granted, they recognize your genetic make up as cancerous and rapidly “fix” it. Within minutes you are a Wolverine clone and “you” as a unique person are effectively dead.

I wish I could summon an endless army of attack monkeys that are loyal only to me.
having no loyalty to each other your monkeys begin to squabble and fighting breaks out, killing all of your monkeys and leaving you wondering how to dispose of an army if corpses.

I wish for more 'me' time.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2019/12/30 14:08:25


 
   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted. You fall into a well and no one comes to rescue you.

I wish for more fog

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in ch
Revered Rogue Psyker





Granted, you take a vacation in Zürich, and only Zürich. The service is unpolite and attrocious, everything is expensuve due to beeing in switzerland Zürich and you only see the sun excactly 5 minutes.


I wish for a breadbasket.

   
Made in cz
Mysterious Techpriest






Fortress world of Ostrakan

Granted. To get it, you need to defeat an angry Frenchman who guards it.

I wish I wasn't ill anymore.


Neutran Panzergrenadiers, Ostrakan Skitarii Legions, Order of the Silver Hand
My fan-lore: Europan Planetary federation. Hot topic: Help with Minotaurs chapter Killteam






 
   
Made in ch
Revered Rogue Psyker





Granted. You died.

I wish for faster delivery of my ordered models.

   
Made in us
Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil





Way on back in the deep caves

Granted. They are missing parts.

I wish for better tv choices.

Trust in Iron and Stone  
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted. You are offered the best TVs on the market. They only show repeats of the three worst shows in television history.

I wish someone the Grammy's were less predictable.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted. The random citizen caning is thrilling.

I wish my shipping boxes were a half-inch wider.

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





Palitine Il

Granted, due to the insanity of the shipping cost rules they now cost twice as much to ship.

I wish I could tell customers off without getting fired.
   
Made in ch
Revered Rogue Psyker





Granted. you are the owner of your own company, however due to negative customer feedback from one "Karen " your company goes bankrupt due to image problems.


I wish for a stop to this bloody blizzard.

   
Made in us
Stubborn Prosecutor





Granted. It ends when god lifts up your town and holds it upside town for five seconds to prove how thick and frozen last night's snow really was.

I wish work had a recess period.

Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.


https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series 
   
Made in us
Hardened Veteran Guardsman




England

Granted. However, in order to get the same amount of work done per day, your working hours extend by the length of the break.

I wish for a DVD of Mine All Mine (I threw mine into the portal over in the “Vendong Machine” thread)

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2020/02/06 10:25:09


See that stuff above? Completely true. All of it, every single word. Stands to reason. 
   
 
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