corrupt a wish!

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**ChaoticMind**

Granted, they’re all welded together to ensure the connections don’t break.

I wish I could get a good night’s sleep.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It will last 8 hours. You'll be awake for one century for each hour you did sleep.

I wish to instantly know what the best Christmas Gift would be for any given person

**Hawky**

Granted. You know the deepest desires of any person you look at and you stop talking to half of your friends because of that.

I wish I was the most attractive man.

**DalekCheese**

You get crushed to death under the million-strong pile of women.

I wish to do well in all my exams.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but due to a bit of morning drinking, they were Military Entrance Processing exams. Welcome to the world of General Infantry.

I wish to be brilliant

**Hawky**

Granted. You became a brilliant and some golddigger bimbo wears you on her ring. And you have to listen to her talks all day.

I wish I was the best marksman in the world.

**Not Online!!!**

Granted. You are the best marksman, correction, were. You just got rolled over by a tank and then shelled because your enemy got paranoid about you.

I wish for more independence in my work.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Your company is now an open source foundation that no longer pays its 'volunteers'

I wish for a fishing boat

**helgrenze**

Granted. It can be found off the coast of Long Island and is named The Orca. Some assembly required.

I wish the weather would change.

**nareik**

helgrenze wrote:
Granted. It can be found off the coast of Long Island and is named The Orca. Some assembly required.

I wish the weather would change.

Granted! You now have a sixteen year old Scandinavian girl hounding you.

I wish political discussions were permitted again on dakka dakka.

**Hawky**

Granted. Antifa gets its own forum section and they are untouchable.

I wish I had unlimited access to bananas.

**Not Online!!!**

Granted. You are also never going to eat anything else anymore and going to live 500 years.

I wish for less tarifs.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Internet usage taxes just became all the rage.

I wish I could finish this manuscript

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You're immediately sued for copyright infringement by a 35 year old living in his mom's basement who self-published pretty much the exact same thing 4 years ago.

I wish I could talk with my dog and vice-a-versa.

**Hawky**

Granted. Your dog won't resist walking with you only when you are dressed in skimpy women's clothes and army boots.

I wish to be a witness to this event.

**sing your life**

Granted, the dog yells out al, your most embarrassing secrets.

I wish cancer didn’t exist.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Ebola, being the opportunistic virus that it is, seizes the opportunity to grab the spotlight and mutates into an even more horrific, Nurgle-esque disease without a cure or effective treatment.

I wish I had Wolverine's regenerative powers.

**ChaoticMind**

Granted, they recognize your genetic make up as cancerous and rapidly “fix” it. Within minutes you are a Wolverine clone and “you” as a unique person are effectively dead.

I wish I could summon an endless army of attack monkeys that are loyal only to me.

**nareik**

ChaoticMind wrote:
Granted, they recognize your genetic make up as cancerous and rapidly “fix” it. Within minutes you are a Wolverine clone and “you” as a unique person are effectively dead.

I wish I could summon an endless army of attack monkeys that are loyal only to me.

having no loyalty to each other your monkeys begin to squabble and fighting breaks out, killing all of your monkeys and leaving you wondering how to dispose of an army if corpses.

I wish for more 'me' time.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You fall into a well and no one comes to rescue you.

I wish for more fog

**Not Online!!!**

Granted, you take a vacation in Zürich, and only Zürich. The service is unpolite and attrocious, everything is expensuve due to beeing in switzerland Zürich and you only see the sun excactly 5 minutes.

I wish for a breadbasket.

**Hawky**

Granted. To get it, you need to defeat an angry Frenchman who guards it.

I wish I wasn't ill anymore.

**Not Online!!!**

Granted. You died.

I wish for faster delivery of my ordered models.

**snurl**

Granted. They are missing parts.

I wish for better tv choices.

**helgrenze**

Granted. You are offered the best TVs on the market. They only show repeats of the three worst shows in television history.

I wish someone the Grammy's were less predictable.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The random citizen caning is thrilling.

I wish my shipping boxes were a half-inch wider.

**ChaoticMind**

Granted, due to the insanity of the shipping cost rules they now cost twice as much to ship.

I wish I could tell customers off without getting fired.

**Not Online!!!**

Granted. you are the owner of your own company, however due to negative customer feedback from one "Karen " your company goes bankrupt due to image problems.

I wish for a stop to this bloody blizzard.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It ends when god lifts up your town and holds it upside town for five seconds to prove how thick and frozen last night's snow really was.

I wish work had a recess period.

**DalekCheese**

Granted. However, in order to get the same amount of work done per day, your working hours extend by the length of the break.

I wish for a DVD of Mine All Mine (I threw mine into the portal over in the “Vendong Machine” thread)