corrupt a wish!

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**Hawky**

Granted. There is, however, a chance the inside of your bags gets displaced or switched for different things, usually pieces of building rubble, scorpions, or squeaky adult toys.

I wish to be the Master of Birds.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, you are now master of birds, but some don't like that, and a massive bird civil war begins, and the rebels overthrow you, it was worth a try I guess.

I wish to get a good card when I open a pack of magic cards.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but only the back of the card is a MTG card. The front are excellent cards from Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Digimon, and a number of Hentai card games you didn't know existed.

I wish for the power to successfully annex any real estate I want, just like the federal government.

**helgrenze**

Granted. You can annex any land you desire. However, the Mineral Rights belong to me.

I wish my game room was cleaner.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, and while we were at it we threw away all these tiny action figures that your too old for, as well as these toxic paints that you're too young for.

I wish it didn't always seem like it was night.

**Hawky**

Granted. The day-night cycle is now completely randomized. with daytime changes occurring every 30 minutes. Now you can eat your lunch and go stargazing.

I wish cigarettes just stopped existing.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, now people have started injecting nicotine into themselves to get a high, and other nicotine products still exist, although the pot smokers will have to start investing their weed.
(and stargazing right after eating lunch doesn't seem so bad)
I wish to have a raven familiar.

**ChaoticMind**

Granted, every morning it pecks out your eyes in exchange for it’s service. Every night your eyes regrow as you sleep and every time the pain of having them pecked out gets worse. It’s also says rude things to anyone you meet.

I wish for EXTERMINATUS switch.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It makes a hilarious farting noise when you press it.

I wish to double my savings

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, you immediately blow it all in a casino in vegas, and to pay for a plane ticket back home, you sell your kidney.

I wish to have a club sandwich with no cheese

**helgrenze**

Granted. A pair of police officers stand on either side of you and hit you with their batons.

I wish for nice weather for a few days.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, being a Hooser, where we have schizophrenic weather, I have no idea what good weather is, so I'm going to give my best approximation and give you a few days of rotating 100F sunshine, and antarctic blizzard, which is probably the best weather we've ever had.

I wish for Indiana to have normal weather.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The governor of Indiana announces that they have uncovered an ancient rite that will give their state four fair seasons, neither too hot nor too cold. All it takes is exiling a random citizen to the Antarctic. You drew the lot for the first year, but at least you can watch your former friends and family enjoy the nice weather while you scrounge for food.

I wish to understand everything this dog says

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, you only catch a few words of the daemon summoning ritual he is performing, and you are both killed in the ensuing rampage.

I wish for America (the USA) to have some fish and chip restaurants.

**ChargerIIC**

Oh you poor man. The magic hit the famous Fish and Chip chain Long John Silvers. Soon all the Fish and Chip resteraunts in America are Long John Silvers. Then all the US Resteraunts. Then the rest of the worlds resteraunts are Long John Silvers.

I wish to know the Spanish language

**Hawky**

Granted. As you wake up tomorrow in the morning and look out, you see the Union Jack flying on poles outside, and soldiers marching to "Rule Britannia" in the streets. Fish and Chips restaurants are a matter of time now.

I wish the British Empire was back again.

//Ninja'd

**Misclicking ork**

Darn, I forgot about long john silvers.

Because both of you responded I will corrupt both wishes.

Charger, your wish is granted, but the day after a new instant universal translator comes out, and at a cheap price, making your effort useless.

Hawky, your wish is granted, and because the British empire is back, why don't we restore the French one as well, at their territorial extent during the 1930s, oh, and they hate each other like always, and I forgot to take their nukes away, so enjoy that.

I wish to see an alternate universe where operation unthinkable happened (look it up).

**helgrenze**

Granted. It was renamed 'Operation Doable' and was an utter failure. Both times.

I wish for some awesome homemade chocolate chip cookies.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, and when you are done eating them, you attempt and fail to recreate these cookies, and you waste your entire life trying to figure out what was done right, and when you finally find the answer, you die of old age before you can take a bite.

I wish to be the king of the Squigs and have a Squig army I can send to krump anyone I don’t like.

**theCrowe**

Granted. Unfortunately it turns out you don't like yourself very much and your squig army knows it. They krump you royally dead.

I wish I could make a living off mucking about in a workshop creating whatever took my fancy on any given day.

**Super Ready**

Granted - your figurative "workshop" is a stable, but the "mucking" is very literal indeed. At least you'll have plenty of "material" for your projects...

I wish my hair turns out perfect for my upcoming Halloween costume.

**snurl**

Granted. Your hair wins first prize. Unfortunatly, you are nowhere near when it does. After viewing it's magnificence in the mirror, your hair strikes off on it's own without you to hold it back from destiny.

I wish for victory over the leaves in my yard.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The fire ants ate them. Dear lord, that's a lot of fire ants. I'm going to go grant some other wishes while you deal with that.

I wish to own a controlling equity in all the world's major banks.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Granted, but you foolishly reply to a Nigerian Prince and bankrupt the entire world.

I wish I didn’t have to do phone shifts in my job.

**Super Ready**

Granted. After all, Mr Grotsnik... what good is a... phone shift, if you are... unable... to... speak...?

I wish to earn enough money as a pro gamer to quit my day job.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Granted. Unfortunately you didn’t read the contract, and you are solely paid in Monopoly Money, and can only play Candy Crush Saga, on the levels where there’s no chance of progressing without spending money on extra lives.

I wish mankind would sort it out, and invent safe, reliable interplanetary travel.

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, and we find life on other planets, not intelligent, but we find life, but unfortunately, alien diseases can apparently infect humans, and as the survivors make it back home, they take the disease with them, spelling doom for most of the human race.

I wish to king of the rats.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. They love thier king. What they love, they also eat.

I wish to rest

**Misclicking ork**

Granted, This is an easy one, you never wake up.

I wish to have chocolate.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Granted. But it’s Hershey’s.

I wish the world wasn’t so obsessed with fame and celebrity.