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Is there an "Ask the Space Emporess!" that can handle more feminine questions?
Yours Faithfully,
Citizen #4824897\23
Greetings subject!
Do not be confused by the title "God Emperor of Mankind." "Mankind" is an inclusive term. As such, I am completely qualified to answer questions concerning any configuration of genitals. Prepare yourself for Empsplaining.
Tolerantly,
IMPERATOR OMNIPOTENS
+ + + + +
My liege,
Exactly how much heresy is too much heresy?
With zeal,
Radical on Rynn's World
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2017/04/14 00:22:43
I do not condone any excuses to burn and otherwise main people in my name. Unless these people are actively trying to destroy humanity.
Let me first explain what is and is not Heresy. First of that big book the Imperial cult preaches, the Lectitio Divinitatus, is not written by me, but by my good for nothing son Lorgar.
Lorgar got really into the whole Chaos thing, spikes, Demons and all, so believing anything they preach from it is believing something written by what you people would call a big, fat, HERETIC.
Worshipping Chaos is pretty heretical or supporting the teachings of Chaos, because we all know what happend to me when my gakky excuse for a son Horus got involved with that crowd.
So let that sink in for a while and think about that when you decide to burn someone for some trivial thing like, liking something that you don't like. I know your kind!
How much Heresy is too much Heresy? I would say what has become of my beloved Imperium and my plans for mankind is pretty Heretical.
Signed,
The Emperor
------------------------------------------------
Dear Emperor of Man,
I live in the middle of nowhere. Whenever I manage to get into civilization and around decent people, I exchange emails because it's the best way for me to get to know them... However, they never email me back. So my communist friend and I have decided to dictate and enslave the entire state. How should we punish them?
Revolutionary yours,
Victyor Stanilavski.
A hemophobic Khorne berzerker, a germophobic plague marine and a sexy Skaven walk in to a Games workshop..... -------------------------------------------
We mark the lands with blood, in fire we prevail. We are tremendous. We are the end of days. -------------------------------------------
It ain't appropriate for anybody, baby. That's the siren call!
I live in the middle of nowhere. Whenever I manage to get into civilization and around decent people, I exchange emails because it's the best way for me to get to know them... However, they never email me back. So my communist friend and I have decided to dictate and enslave the entire state. How should we punish them?
Revolutionary yours,
Victyor Stanilavski.[/i]
Vic,
Communism...*sigh*...how banal. But if you're bored and in the middle of nowhere, I guess any friend with a failed ideology will do, eh? As far as punishment for the inconsideration of others, well, you can read them some Marx, that should be cruel and unusual enough.
Yeah, you heard me...what's up? Too special to answer my invitations to throw down? Ever since you sat your butt down in that chair, suddenly you ain't got time for none of the old crew...and you really wonder why we went all darkside, huh?
Well, when you find a pair, meet me in the Eye...I'll probably be at the bar on Vengeful Spirit.
Yours Chaotically,
Abaddon
P.S. Yes, you can still call me Zeke.
P.P.S. Let the galaxy burn!
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2017/04/20 06:27:34
Oh Look. If it i'snt another one of the spikey demon worshipping edgefest that surrounded my disappointment of son Horus. You are just as much of a disappointment as he was.
At least my non a-hole son Roboute is still alive and not warped into some demonic steroid induced abomination, unlike your f--ing master who even died after he crippled me to sh*t. So technicaly I still won that fight. What ever happend to his Soul by the way.
So you finaly destroyed Cadia afer what, how many tries, thirteen. If I was you I would have reached to Terra, twelve times over. I am almost starting to believe those pictures I was sent of you without arms. That would have been you only excuse for such glorious ineptitude.
Seriously though what made you think siding with Chaos was such a good idea, I mean I am well aware of the state my beloved Imperium sank to with my internment to this Golden Chair.
See if you guys stayed you still would have had the pleasure of withnesing humanity screw up fantasticaly when left at thier own devices. Something I am now convinced off would inevitably happen if I was in charge.
How are my other sh*ty Sons by the way? Is Fulgrim still trying to get better hair and shinier armor than I ever had. I assume Magnus is still playing amateur Warp Magician. Mortarion still smells like death I gues. Has Angron finaly gotten some proper anger management?
Tell Lorgar he is a constant disappointment and Perturabo to stop being such a petty manchild.
As for my Son's sons; Golden Grand Dad is still disappointed in all of you.
I have become accustomed to having many human-like animals drawn into sexual scenes. Is this weird?
Citizen #34566/56
A hemophobic Khorne berzerker, a germophobic plague marine and a sexy Skaven walk in to a Games workshop..... -------------------------------------------
We mark the lands with blood, in fire we prevail. We are tremendous. We are the end of days. -------------------------------------------
It ain't appropriate for anybody, baby. That's the siren call!
I have become accustomed to having many human-like animals drawn into sexual scenes. Is this weird?
Citizen #34566/56
Dear weirdo,
Yes that is weird - at least here on Terra. But it's a big galaxy. What is weird on Terra is less weird on say, the planet Carlos McConnell, home to Homo sapiens hirsutus - otherwise known as felinids. The trick is finding a felinid who has euphemistically "become accustomed" to drawings featuring standard humans. That way you are each other's fetish. Or if you are really weird, we've also got ratlings ...
You see, mortal, even your particular weirdness is encompassed by my Astronomicon-like benevolence.
Majestically,
IMPERATOR OMNIPOTENS
+ + + + +
Dear Great Man, But Only A Man,
I've been kicking around since the Dark Age of Tech and yes you and I have attended some of the same parties. Let's just say that I used to think you were a cool guy. But man, fame has really changed you. I remember when you used to cruise around with your sons, fighting and free. But then you started locking yourself up in your basement for longer and longer stretches. And now I hear you never leave your palace at all. Plus your fans are totally out of control. I hate to sound nostalgic but don't you ever miss the old days?
I would assure you, that the fact that I am never leaving the Imperial Palace is because I am a mere skeleton attached to a Golden Live support machine build into my golden throne. I was put here by my A**hole son Horus who even in death is still a constand disappointment to me.
You see in my basement, I was building wondrous inventions to help mankind reach the glorious future I had planned for it.
However after Horus threw a b*tchfit, decided with several of his brothers to become all dark and edgy and to worship some demons Lorgar found. Things have gone right down the proverbial sh*tter as it where.
So yeah no more cruising around with my sons, fighting and free at this moment. Unless by some miracle of plot convienence me and my Sons are restored to our former selfs. Given the fact that Roboute finaly decided to get up and do something, has given me a small sparkle of hope. Although that could be Tzeench f*cking around with my Soul fragments.
A hemophobic Khorne berzerker, a germophobic plague marine and a sexy Skaven walk in to a Games workshop..... -------------------------------------------
We mark the lands with blood, in fire we prevail. We are tremendous. We are the end of days. -------------------------------------------
It ain't appropriate for anybody, baby. That's the siren call!
Well Citizen that's actually a tough question because you see I never had to 'attempt' a world record, I just alter reality so that I have always had that record, there's never any question of failure.
Tallest man in the Galaxy - Me!
Largest ear lobes in the Galaxy - Me!
Record for longest consecutive basket ball dribbling (current at 46 trillion+) - Me!
Tallest woman in the Galaxy - Me! (Emperor Gender Transitioning powers y'know)
So go check, you'll see.
The Emperor
10,000 Time Winner of People's Sexiest Man Alive
----------------------------------------------------
Dear Master of Mankind
First of all i want to congratulate you on the upcoming 8th Age of Mankind, I'm sure you've been working hard altering reality to match your enlightened new vision.
I just have one small question, how will this impact my collection of Limited Collector Editions of The Gathering Storm, Wrath of Magnus, Sheild of Baal and the one where they nuked the Space Wolf planet, forget what it's called.
Anyway I have signed and numbered collector editions and I wanted to know if this will affect their resale value since I planned to retire on what I make from skalping them on ebay.
I had no idea people still considered collecting obscure niche hobbystuff a profitable endeavor.
If I where you I would not base my future financial situation on something as uncertain as the price of things only valuable to such a small and changing group of people.
Then again what do I know. I am just a crippled husk of my former glorious self put on a golden chair after my some of my sons tried to super murder me 10.000 years ago. So do not invest in offspring, geneticaly created or otherwise either.
They take the best years of your life. You give them all the love and guidance you can give, teach them all the wisdom you can and in the end, at least half of them turn into uther disappointments, murdering you and giving you legions of equaly disappointing grand-childeren.
No work hard and safe up nice pension for your self. Maybe invest in some worth wile stock options. Stop wasting time on meaningless trinkets in the hopes they turn into treasure. Even if there are idiots who pay gladly way too much money for them.
Also the fact that my Imperiums ruin brings you such pleasure and joy, tells me you have sided with Chaos or at least some filthy Xenos who wish us all dead. So I have forwarded you letter to the Inquisition.
They may be made of stupid and hypocrisy, but they know how to hunt down and destroy the likes of you.
Signed,
The Emperor.
------------------------------------------------
My Eternal Lord,
I, Jurius Sicassius have been a loyal servant in the ranks of your mighty Astartes legions for as long as I can remember.
While my original Legion is long gone, its name forever lost in the records of the adminstratum, I have since found myself serving alongside many of my loyal brethren from other loyal legions.
I have been a veteran of the long wars. I have faced the cold silvery lines of Necrons fighting along side the Dark Angels. I bled with the Ultramarines in the battle for Macragge, barely surviving the endless waves of Tyranids. My left arm was lost to the Eldar when I was with the Blood Angles. I have hunted withe the Space Wolfs and the White Scars alike. The Ork Warboss known as Gore-Jaw Buzz hands met his end at my hands. I have seen the horrors of the Warp spawn and its servants. They took my right eye. My bolter slayed many a traitor in the battle for Cadia when they launched a 13th attempt to destroy the Imperium I swore to protect. I have lived throught the best and worst moments of this eternal war for humanities survival. I have seen, good men, proud men fall to Chaos by the smallest of vices. I have seen corrupted and lost battle brothers preform last and glorious acts of redemption before thier deaths. My legs where lost to a Tau railgun. Sometimes I wonder if I lost too much of my humanity with each injury.
With all these things I have seen, all I have been through. With all those who I laughed, cried, screamed and sung with.
One question has always burdent me. Like the crushing weight of being trapped beneath a collapsed bunker.
Please I beg of you! Tell me the aswer to my following question!
...
...
...
What makes a man a man?
Signed,
Jurius Sicassius
Astartes [DATA EXPUNGED]
A hemophobic Khorne berzerker, a germophobic plague marine and a sexy Skaven walk in to a Games workshop..... -------------------------------------------
We mark the lands with blood, in fire we prevail. We are tremendous. We are the end of days. -------------------------------------------
It ain't appropriate for anybody, baby. That's the siren call!
I, Jurius Sicassius have been a loyal servant in the ranks of your mighty Astartes legions for as long as I can remember.
While my original Legion is long gone, its name forever lost in the records of the adminstratum, I have since found myself serving alongside many of my loyal brethren from other loyal legions.
I have been a veteran of the long wars. I have faced the cold silvery lines of Necrons fighting along side the Dark Angels. I bled with the Ultramarines in the battle for Macragge, barely surviving the endless waves of Tyranids. My left arm was lost to the Eldar when I was with the Blood Angles. I have hunted withe the Space Wolfs and the White Scars alike. The Ork Warboss known as Gore-Jaw Buzz hands met his end at my hands. I have seen the horrors of the Warp spawn and its servants. They took my right eye. My bolter slayed many a traitor in the battle for Cadia when they launched a 13th attempt to destroy the Imperium I swore to protect. I have lived throught the best and worst moments of this eternal war for humanities survival. I have seen, good men, proud men fall to Chaos by the smallest of vices. I have seen corrupted and lost battle brothers preform last and glorious acts of redemption before thier deaths. My legs where lost to a Tau railgun. Sometimes I wonder if I lost too much of my humanity with each injury.
With all these things I have seen, all I have been through. With all those who I laughed, cried, screamed and sung with.
One question has always burdent me. Like the crushing weight of being trapped beneath a collapsed bunker.
Please I beg of you! Tell me the aswer to my following question!
...
...
...
What makes a man a man?
Signed,
Jurius Sicassius
Astartes [DATA EXPUNGED]
Y'know Juri that is a darn good question. Having made a few men in my time I think it's one I can answer.
Now I could say a man is made when the chooses to stand on his feet where others would live on their knees, but I think you've got that already.
Or I could explain to you that when an sperm has and XY chromozone rather than XX, but that's generune stuff and probably over your head.
So... let's just say that when a man loves a woman, or a Grey Hunter loves his Thunder Wolf or an Emperor loves his cloning vats they get together and make a little man. Or sometimes one of the other ones, y'know little Battle Sisters, I forget what they're called. Anyway I hope that helps you fight better.
Love
The E
***************************************************************
Grand Supreme Admiral of Space TS Emporer:
Greetings from Segmuntum Pacificus command here at beautiful Pearl Planet, the only planet made entirely out of a pearl left by a ginormous Space Oyster.
Recently a tech priest came to us explaining that if we switched our Space Boats to solar power rather than Space Coal it would cut emissions, reduce Space Pollution and free up additional space in the hull currently used for Space Coal Bins. It would also mean we wouldn't have to stop every 100 light years to strip mine a planet for more Space Coal.
However our Space Boats have always used Space Coal and I believe that Change Is Bad for does not the Space Bible of Space say 'Change is Bad'?
What do you think, should we execute the Tech priest out of hand, or refer his proposal to a committee for the next 1000 years?
Greetings from Segmuntum Pacificus command here at beautiful Pearl Planet, the only planet made entirely out of a pearl left by a ginormous Space Oyster.
Recently a tech priest came to us explaining that if we switched our Space Boats to solar power rather than Space Coal it would cut emissions, reduce Space Pollution and free up additional space in the hull currently used for Space Coal Bins. It would also mean we wouldn't have to stop every 100 light years to strip mine a planet for more Space Coal.
However our Space Boats have always used Space Coal and I believe that Change Is Bad for does not the Space Bible of Space say 'Change is Bad'?
What do you think, should we execute the Tech priest out of hand, or refer his proposal to a committee for the next 1000 years?
Sincerely Vice Rear Space Admiral Koch Burns
Vice Rear Assistant to the Alternate Understudy Deckhand Burns, Wielder of the Nemesis Coal Shovel - Salutations!
There are four things I truly despise:
(1) explaining my plans to my closest allies (2) xenos scum (3) multiple choice questions (4) making lists
In view of Number Three above, the phrasing of your question greatly displeases me THEREFORE see your new rank in the greeting. As the God Emperor, I am not limited to choosing between (a) or (b) - or even (c) all of the above. This is just like Bobby coming to visit me after his nap, "what happened to the Imperial Truth, dad?" and "I thought there were no gods, dad?" How am I getting a lecture about the Space Bible being hypocritical from the kid who literally wrote the Space Marine Bible? Mote and beam, Bobby! Or didn't you even read the Space Bible? You know who else didn't read the Space Bible - Horus, that's who.
So yes the Space Bible is infallibly correct - change is bad. But duh please read the Space Bible in context or not at all (DISCLAIMER: not reading the Space Bible may be heretical). That specific sacred admonition comes from a passage in 1 Vostroyans explaining why Tzeentch sucks so, so hard (verily). Considering the deeper theological implications, not all change is badwrong Tzeentch change. Some change is heresy-free and me-approved - feel free to consult with you friendly regional Inquisitorial representative on issues like this (DISCLAIMER: consultation may be heretical). For example, all mankind unquestioningly obeying me as some kind of super king changing to all mankind unquestioningly obeying me as some kind of awesome god, that is change for the better.
What was your letter about? Oh right, shoveling coal. Well look, if it has already gone through all the AdMech subcommittees then the next step is to submit it to the Administratum Comptroller of Applications for Threshold Determination Advisory Board Sanctioning Authority Office. It's the one with the skull in the logo, can't miss it. Alternatively, contact your friendly regional Inquisitorial representative for permission to bypass the Administratum approval circuit for direct submission for Ecclesiarchical approval (DISCLAIMER: requesting permission to bypass Administratum approval may be heretical).
As to this implicit objection to strip mining planets - have you ever considered the plight of the fleet-borne strip mining family? It's all well and good for you flag officers and chapter masters in the 1%. But I am the God Emperor of the other 99% as well. Therefore, I hereby decree that in the case that these Solar-pattern enginorums are ultimately approved by my Holy Bureaucracies then all fleet assets SHALL NONETHELESS continue strip mining operations to protect the livelihood of my subjects. We've already lost too many jobs to the Tau! Also, I will make the Eldar pay for it. Hey while we're on that subject, what about all these regulations strangling our industry? - all in the name of reducing Space Pollution to prevent Galactic Warming. As far as I know, the Mechanicum Magi are still studying whether Galactic Warming is even real. I mean, if Galactic Warming is real then why is space so cold? Puh-lease. REGULATIONS REPEALED, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.
Making The Imperium Great Again,
IMPERATOR OMNIPOTENS
+ + + + +
Dear Bae Emperor of Mankind,
I know things didn't work out between us in the past. But I'm back baby, and this time I brought my girlfriends along, too. You've heard of the Geminae Superia, right? YES THEY ARE TWINS.
I zoggin double dare you to turn me down this time.
Thirsty AF,
Saint Celestine, ur 1 n only gf lol
This message was edited 11 times. Last update was at 2017/04/28 19:10:48
Where I alive as my former self, my now non-existent genitalia would be tremble in excitement and bewildered uncertainty.
However in my current state as you are well aware of, I am a mere husk of a man on a throne.
Being sexualy attracted to me is a kin to being attracted to a corpse. One that has been death for quite some time.
Besides I would had way to much important work to do back then, than to bother with such basic urges.
So my advice is get your self a proper boyfriend and learn some decent spelling.
I am the sole survivor of my company and I am trapped in the barracks of my base. Our Commissar shot himself when he realized the hopelessness of our situation. The rest of the squad went to take their chances outside after our commander died. The others who where with me, have been picked off one by one.
We ran out of ammo and ordinace three days ago. Reinforcements are never gonna arrive in time. This message is my only hope for survival. Not just for me but for the rest of the sub-sector. If this fails Exterminatus is the only option left!
What is the best method of defending yourself against a horde of evil squirrels using an onion, a stapler and the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe?
I hope this message reaches you in time.
Signed,
Sebastian Silvullus
Corporal Cadian 234th Division Sub-Sector Sigma-Epsilon 3
A hemophobic Khorne berzerker, a germophobic plague marine and a sexy Skaven walk in to a Games workshop..... -------------------------------------------
We mark the lands with blood, in fire we prevail. We are tremendous. We are the end of days. -------------------------------------------
It ain't appropriate for anybody, baby. That's the siren call!
I am the sole survivor of my company and I am trapped in the barracks of my base. Our Commissar shot himself when he realized the hopelessness of our situation. The rest of the squad went to take their chances outside after our commander died. The others who where with me, have been picked off one by one.
We ran out of ammo and ordinace three days ago. Reinforcements are never gonna arrive in time. This message is my only hope for survival. Not just for me but for the rest of the sub-sector. If this fails Exterminatus is the only option left!
What is the best method of defending yourself against a horde of evil squirrels using an onion, a stapler and the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe?
I hope this message reaches you in time.
Signed,
Sebastian Silvullus
Corporal Cadian 234th Division Sub-Sector Sigma-Epsilon 3
Dear Sebastian,
I was heartbroken to hear your tale of defeat, despair and courage in the face of hopeless odds. I hear your suggestion of exterminous however your world is rated Alpha-Meu-4, meaning its biosphere is considered essential for raising Space Holstein Cows who produce the milk for my morning cuppa. As such it is vital it survive.
Therefore I have ordered the planet seeded with millions of deadly Space Ocelots who, as you know, are the mortal enemies of Space Squirrels and should have the matter dealt with promptly.
Alas they will arrive roughly six months after you have breathed your last.
As for your second question the answer is so obvious I'm shocked it was not covered in your basic training, I will order the Zombified Corpse of Malakar the Sigilite to review the matter.
First cut the onion and use it to make yourself cry. I know that my brave and bold guardsmen would never cry under normal circumstances. Your tears will attract the Space Squirrel who can sense fear.
Then, then the squirrel approaches use the stapler to impale its paw on the floor then bludgeon it to death with the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. In a pinch your Infantryman's Inspiring whatever its called book will work too.
Yours in omnipotence and enjoying a nice cuppa
The Emporer of Space
I have a problem you might be able to relate to. I have this on-again off-again girlfriend but lately off-again since I am currently housebound due to an old war injury. So lately she has been hanging out with my son. Now he's a big strapping lad, tall, tan, million dollar smile, broad shoulders, real quarterback type. And they, along with her two school friends who are twins, even took a long road trip together.
Now I know I can trust her, she's a real saint really, but I'm feeling a bit jealous. Do you think it would be OK if I sent little Bobby on a suicide mission to invade the Eye of Terror or something?
That is actually perfectly acceptable to do. I know how it feels to have your own son hurt you like that. Feel free to have him kicked out an airlock.
Signed,
The Big Cheese.
---------------------
Dear Space Emperor,
I want to be a Primaris Marine when I grow up, can you help me out?
Signed,
Little Timmy
TheEyeOfNight- I swear, this thread is 70% smack talk, 20% RP organization, and 10% butt jokes
TheEyeOfNight- "Ordo Xenos reports that the Necrons have attained democracy, kamikaze tendencies, and nuclear fission. It's all tits up, sir."
Space Marine flyers are shaped for the greatest possible air resistance so that the air may never defeat the SPACE MARINES!
Sternguard though, those guys are all about kicking ass. They'd chew bubble gum as well, but bubble gum is heretical. Only tau chew gum
So like, a couple of Millennia ago I sold this guy a whole song and dance about how the Ruinous Powers were gonna make a big old come back and Space Marines ain't gonna cut it no more. So he paid me like a million billion trillion starbucks to make a better Space Marine. Some kind of Ultra-Ultramarine or whatever.
So I took the cash, then I heard the customer got himself locked in a statis cube so I was off the hook and spend the money on beer.
Cept now he's back as some kind of Eldar zombie cyborg or whatever.
So I'm thinking, if I just put some regular marines in elevator shoes and add a bigger barrel to their guns would that cut it?
Please hold this in strictest confidence as my customer is highly placed in Imperial circles and I would not want word of this to reach him.
If you are talking about my dear son Rowboat, I'm not entirely surprised that he would be stupid enough to give the Mechanicus a bunch of money and then get himself locked in a stasis cube. He's always been a bit of a disappointment like that. I'm also not surprised that the Eldar are pulling their typical BS by bringing him back from the dead. You have my full permission to put some normal Marines on stilts and give them slightly bigger boltguns, maybe Rowboat will learn to pay attention for once...
Signed,
The Emperor
---------------------------
Dear Space Emperor,
So about ten thousand years ago I talked to this Mechanicus guy named Cawl, and I paid him a crap ton of money to create for me super marines, as normal marines are kind of boring and weak. Well I then somehow got my throat slit and I got dumped into a stasis cube, and now ten thousand years later I've woken back up. Well I found out that this Magos did keep his part of the deal, supposedly, and I have these new Primaris Marines. But they just seem to be slightly bigger Marines with slightly longer guns. Have I been swindled?
Signed,
Rowboat Girlyman, Primarch of the Ultrasmurfs.
TheEyeOfNight- I swear, this thread is 70% smack talk, 20% RP organization, and 10% butt jokes
TheEyeOfNight- "Ordo Xenos reports that the Necrons have attained democracy, kamikaze tendencies, and nuclear fission. It's all tits up, sir."
Space Marine flyers are shaped for the greatest possible air resistance so that the air may never defeat the SPACE MARINES!
Sternguard though, those guys are all about kicking ass. They'd chew bubble gum as well, but bubble gum is heretical. Only tau chew gum
I was watching that transaction from my toilet, and I have to say, that man was talking more gak than my own backside! This is nothing but a scam to take more of humanity's money and time, just like every new GW release!
Sincerely,
Daddy McHugelarge
============================
Dear God-Emperor of Mankind,
It is expectant of me that I sacrifice untold hordes of my own kind into the warp so that a god of death can form. What madness is this, and who is to blame for this insanity?
It is expectant of me that I sacrifice untold hordes of my own kind into the warp so that a god of death can form. What madness is this, and who is to blame for this insanity?
Sincererly,
Farseer Irilis of Craftworld Ærouin
I forget, are we still blaming Gav Thrope for everything wrong? Or is it Mat Ward?
Ah one or the other. Or Chapterhouse. Blaming Chapterhouse was big for a while too.
Damn Chapterhouse, that's why we have Orruuks y'know.
Sincerely,
E
****************************************************************************************
My most omnipotent master,
Recently I returned to our Fortress Monastery after several decades on crusade. After greeting our chapter Serfs (well their kids and grandkids mostly) and the scouts I met a group of Battle Brothers I was unfamiliar with. They stood a head taller than I, wore an unfamiliar mark of armor and had like, extra big guns like they were compensating for something.
As I began to greet them in your holy name they shoved me aside saying 'outta my way shorty' and 'go back to your wheelchair grandpa' and 'go stop a space bullet Marine Secondis'!
Later they beat me up, took my lunch money and trapped me in a locker until one of the serfs heard me calling out and freed me.
Recently I returned to our Fortress Monastery after several decades on crusade. After greeting our chapter Serfs (well their kids and grandkids mostly) and the scouts I met a group of Battle Brothers I was unfamiliar with. They stood a head taller than I, wore an unfamiliar mark of armor and had like, extra big guns like they were compensating for something.
As I began to greet them in your holy name they shoved me aside saying 'outta my way shorty' and 'go back to your wheelchair grandpa' and 'go stop a space bullet Marine Secondis'!
Later they beat me up, took my lunch money and trapped me in a locker until one of the serfs heard me calling out and freed me.
Who are these guys?
Sincerely
Brother Valoric
Ultramar
Dear Valorin,
Rest assured that you still have a valuable place in my eternal armed forces of this Imperium. Serve your best, and when you fall you can rest assured that you will be replaced by something better and more efficient. If you live long enough, you may even be invited to an Imperial Crusade launch party, the last of which was held to send off my beloved Thunder Warriors before they were replaced by yourself and your (recently obsoleted) kindred.
To my favorite old man,
The Emperor of Mankind
*************
Dear Emperor,
I've now served with your blessed armed forces for 3 months and will be dropping into combat again soon. I'm told that space marines will be present as well as chaos marines. How can I tell the two apart? My commissar hasn't been able to give me an answer and I'm worried about feebly shooting at the wrong one.
In Service,
Imperial Guardsman 1032-5B
Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
I've now served with your blessed armed forces for 3 months and will be dropping into combat again soon. I'm told that space marines will be present as well as chaos marines. How can I tell the two apart? My commissar hasn't been able to give me an answer and I'm worried about feebly shooting at the wrong one.
In Service,
Imperial Guardsman 1032-5B
Honestly I have trouble myself these days, ever since the Marines started wearing robes and glue skulls to every part of their armor I wonder how I'm supposed to tell them apart much less some barely literate guardsman.
Just last week I gave my blessing to some guy in red armor with a skull helmet and absurdly oversized sword. I mean I'm pretty sure he was a Blood Angel or Blood Raven or whatever but you just don't know and with with millions of battles across the galaxy to keep an eye on I really only have a millisecond or so to make a decision.
Anyway you don't have to worry much since odds are you'll never hit the dude and even if you do the odds of your weapon doing an significant damage are like 1 in 18. So just hang out, have fun, shoot at anyone your commissar tells you to shoot and it'll all work out.
This just isn't working out. I mean if was fun for a bit seeing the old haunts, how everything changed, catching up on the news and stuff. But after a while I realized the old feeling just wasn't there, it was like that time I went back to my old high school, neat for like 10 minutes but then sort of empty, it wasn't 'my' place any more y'know.
It was fun catching up with Abby, but he's like the only guy I remember who's still around. Yeah I saw Mags but he's really changed, not like the ole Maggy One Eye I used to beat up and steal lunch money from.
It was kind of cool having all these chicks following my around treating my like some kind of demigod of whatever, but then I found out they'd all taken a vow of chastity and I'm like well this is pointless.
So yeah, if you don't mind I'm gonna get back in my statis chair OK?
This just isn't working out. I mean if was fun for a bit seeing the old haunts, how everything changed, catching up on the news and stuff. But after a while I realized the old feeling just wasn't there, it was like that time I went back to my old high school, neat for like 10 minutes but then sort of empty, it wasn't 'my' place any more y'know.
It was fun catching up with Abby, but he's like the only guy I remember who's still around. Yeah I saw Mags but he's really changed, not like the ole Maggy One Eye I used to beat up and steal lunch money from.
It was kind of cool having all these chicks following my around treating my like some kind of demigod of whatever, but then I found out they'd all taken a vow of chastity and I'm like well this is pointless.
So yeah, if you don't mind I'm gonna get back in my statis chair OK?
Yours
Bobby"
Robert,
Quit your bitching you sniveling, whiny, prima donna. I didn't raise you from my own seed to cry like a baby when things aren't to your liking when you just happen to grace us with your presence again. Grow a pair of your own, will ya! I swear, those four kooky Chaos dieties may have had it right...
Kind of fed up with the constant Imperial manopause,
Hi, my brothers and I hear you're a little fed up with the Imperium. Well, we'd like to invite you and a +1 of your choice to come visit Club Warp for a fully paid, all inclusive 7-day vacation. Come on over and see what you're missing. I mean, what have you got to lose, less Primarch whining? Sounds like a win-win to me. We're talking Slaanesh Daemonettes, on tap, 24/7. Just give it a thought and call me.
Hi, my brothers and I hear you're a little fed up with the Imperium. Well, we'd like to invite you and a +1 of your choice to come visit Club Warp for a fully paid, all inclusive 7-day vacation. Come on over and see what you're missing. I mean, what have you got to lose, less Primarch whining? Sounds like a win-win to me. We're talking Slaanesh Daemonettes, on tap, 24/7. Just give it a thought and call me.
Stinky, but still fun,
"Pops" Nurgle
Pops!
Hows it going? Haven't talked in a while but I've been keeping up with your work. That joke you played on lil Bobby, that was so cruel! Creating a super plague in the rear line and the only cure was to have Bobby walk around, and then it would reemerge when he went back to the front? Making him doubt himself, and wonder if he really wasn't a demigod? Awesome stuff, mean as all heck, but awesome. Bobby kept calling me in tears. Malacore and I were cracking up the whole time.
Anyhoo, I would love to kick back for a bit like we used to do in the old days but this whole Golden Throne/Planet-sized life support thing makes it kinda hard right now. Still I'll be astrally projecting into the Friday poker game as usual. Tell Khaine not to try and take my seat OK?
GE-MOM!
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Sire,
Recently my Intercessor, Inceptor, Hellblaster, Reiver and Aggressor squads were engaged in an action against the noted heretic Syvus the Silver Tongued and his Iconclastors.
Just as I was rushing up to him to soundly smite him with my Power Sword he abruptly asked me who I am and why we were fighting. I immediately explained I was Brother Captain Imperious Victorious of the Marines Primaris the purified followers of the Primarch and living icons of the Imperium reborn!
And he was all like - So you're a marine with a new hat?
And I was all like - NO! We are the true realization of the Emperor's vision, freed from 10,000 years of superstition and decay!
And he was like - Dude you're just a taller marine in tweeked armor. And more trademark-able names. And bigger guns. You're completely redundant duplicates. I mean they did this in 3rd edition and no one needed to do a whole big fluff-retcon thing to explain it.
And I was all like - I reject your lies! We are clear-headed warriors and the future of humanity!
And he was all like - And that means what exactly?
And I was all like - Well it means we are not warrior priests blinded by millennia of doctrine we are pure warriors focused on protecting humanity rather than muttering prayers or gluing bling to our armor!
And he just pointed at Brother Chaplain Grimcoat and laughed.
I tried to press my attack but for some reason my optics were filled with salty tears and I was unable to prevent his escape.
Since that day my Company has had great difficulty mobilizing. Brother Aggressor Yuge Gunz keeps looking at his crotch skull and muttering 'why is that even here'. Brother Intercessor Shoo-Ti keeps asking the Secondis Marines why they won't let him ride in their Rhino, then crying. And Brother Chaplain Grimcoat won't even come out of his quarters, he just sits there whispering to his wacking stick.
Oh my wise but not divine master, what shall we do?
Yours,
Brother Captain Imperious Victorious of the Marines Primaris
Recently my Intercessor, Inceptor, Hellblaster, Reiver and Aggressor squads were engaged in an action against the noted heretic Syvus the Silver Tongued and his Iconclastors.
Just as I was rushing up to him to soundly smite him with my Power Sword he abruptly asked me who I am and why we were fighting. I immediately explained I was Brother Captain Imperious Victorious of the Marines Primaris the purified followers of the Primarch and living icons of the Imperium reborn!
And he was all like - So you're a marine with a new hat?
And I was all like - NO! We are the true realization of the Emperor's vision, freed from 10,000 years of superstition and decay!
And he was like - Dude you're just a taller marine in tweeked armor. And more trademark-able names. And bigger guns. You're completely redundant duplicates. I mean they did this in 3rd edition and no one needed to do a whole big fluff-retcon thing to explain it.
And I was all like - I reject your lies! We are clear-headed warriors and the future of humanity!
And he was all like - And that means what exactly?
And I was all like - Well it means we are not warrior priests blinded by millennia of doctrine we are pure warriors focused on protecting humanity rather than muttering prayers or gluing bling to our armor!
And he just pointed at Brother Chaplain Grimcoat and laughed.
I tried to press my attack but for some reason my optics were filled with salty tears and I was unable to prevent his escape.
Since that day my Company has had great difficulty mobilizing. Brother Aggressor Yuge Gunz keeps looking at his crotch skull and muttering 'why is that even here'. Brother Intercessor Shoo-Ti keeps asking the Secondis Marines why they won't let him ride in their Rhino, then crying. And Brother Chaplain Grimcoat won't even come out of his quarters, he just sits there whispering to his wacking stick.
Oh my wise but not divine master, what shall we do?
Yours,
Brother Captain Imperious Victorious of the Marines Primaris
Dear Captain Vic-whatever the rest of that was,
Wah. Wah. Wah. You know what I'd do if I had that young, mobile body? Whatever my Emperor asked of me.
I mean, I'm, sitting here in endless agony that can litterlly be seen from the warp, but let me take a few moments to address your concerns over a crotch skull and some departmentum boarding papers. You know why that skull is there? Because your ascension killed everything there worth having. Ever hear of a space marine getting laid? ever? It's not the skull Yuge is really muttering about.
Look I get it, you want to play with your big brothers. But whining about it just leads to more problems. Look - if you behave and say all your little prayers and do your chores for once maybe you can have a transport of your own. Hell, maybe we'll even strip off the treads so you can fit more guns on there. Just quit your whining and kills things like you are supposed to.
On a side note - Primaris? Like the title the psykers already have? I have got to talk to Bobby about his creativity and why it's so terrible. If you see him, tell him I loved Horus more.
Hail Me,
The Emperor of Mankind and apparent possessor of a bunch of whiny space marines.
I know we aren't supposed to write you directly, but the local priest doesn't have nearly enough muscles for me to bother talking to him and the Black Templar priest has way too many. I have faithfully served the Imperium since my induction into the Catachan 113rd at the age of 10. I've learned everything our manly and ruggedly handsome trainers could teach and have toughened myself on the most forsaken battlefields the Imperium has to offer. I've worked hard, and I haven't seen my feet in three years since I beacme more Top-hEavy than the Imperial Knights. My entire squad is also extremely manly and I'm having trouble finding way to out-manly them. Pvt. Killarn L. Kill has started shaving with a rock and we all are now chainsmoking cigar lit only from burning promethum-fueled tyranid corpses. I tried putting on more warpaint, but I'm worried I'm topping from manly to gauche if I apply any more. I tried swapping my lasrifle for two combat knives but then everyone started to do it.
You're the maniliest man I can think of. How did you become so much more Manly than the rest of us? How can I outshine my peers? Especially that smary stuck-up Sgt Rockjaw and his stupid titanium eyelashes. And his stupid designer face paint.
Faithfully yours,
Pvt. Carl Hammerblaster
PS: Being all knowing, do you know where someone can order Titanium eyelash kits? Asking for a friend.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2017/07/26 15:10:51
Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
I know we aren't supposed to write you directly, but the local priest doesn't have nearly enough muscles for me to bother talking to him and the Black Templar priest has way too many. I have faithfully served the Imperium since my induction into the Catachan 113rd at the age of 10. I've learned everything our manly and ruggedly handsome trainers could teach and have toughened myself on the most forsaken battlefields the Imperium has to offer. I've worked hard, and I haven't seen my feet in three years since I beacme more Top-hEavy than the Imperial Knights. My entire squad is also extremely manly and I'm having trouble finding way to out-manly them. Pvt. Killarn L. Kill has started shaving with a rock and we all are now chainsmoking cigar lit only from burning promethum-fueled tyranid corpses. I tried putting on more warpaint, but I'm worried I'm topping from manly to gauche if I apply any more. I tried swapping my lasrifle for two combat knives but then everyone started to do it.
You're the maniliest man I can think of. How did you become so much more Manly than the rest of us? How can I outshine my peers? Especially that smary stuck-up Sgt Rockjaw and his stupid titanium eyelashes. And his stupid designer face paint.
Faithfully yours,
Pvt. Carl Hammerblaster
PS: Being all knowing, do you know where someone can order Titanium eyelash kits? Asking for a friend.
See? See? This is what I was talking about!
No whining, no moaning, no waaa-waaa-waaa just a man's man asking how to be more manly.
To tell the truth you're off to a good start, one thing I always admired about you Catachans is, unlike some spoiled whiners, you don't need 400 lbs of armor just a T shirt and lots of oil.
So with respect to your question,i thjink you guys are doing fine. But you might want to think about getting those spring-loaded ballistic knives from that one issue of the Punisher where he shot the knife blade 10' and it stabbed his printer. Those are boss.
Yours
Ramb-Emporer!
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Dear Mr. Teh Emporer
I love My Little Carnifex: Friends are Sustenance, it's my favorite in the whole world and I watch it on everyday in TV and on Daddy's phone.
My favorites are Pinky Maw, Rainbow Furious Charge and Twilight Bioplasma but I also like Flutter Shriek and Butter Claw.
I don't like Rarifang, she's not nice.
Mommy says Carnifexi aren't real they're just cartoons. But Father Quadmanos of the Church of the Four-Armed Emperor says they are real and that if all the fans stand outside at night and look at the brightest star and say 'Come great devowerer my body is ready" then we can all meet Carnifexi for reals!
I love My Little Carnifex: Friends are Sustenance, it's my favorite in the whole world and I watch it on everyday in TV and on Daddy's phone.
My favorites are Pinky Maw, Rainbow Furious Charge and Twilight Bioplasma but I also like Flutter Shriek and Butter Claw.
I don't like Rarifang, she's not nice.
Mommy says Carnifexi aren't real they're just cartoons. But Father Quadmanos of the Church of the Four-Armed Emperor says they are real and that if all the fans stand outside at night and look at the brightest star and say 'Come great devowerer my body is ready" then we can all meet Carnifexi for reals!
But it's after my bedtime.
What should I do?
Sincerely
Very nice cute little girl
Dear little girl,
You must be kidding me. Tyranids aren't cute, they're here to eat the galaxy and move on to the next. I really think you should get your head checked, and so should your mom.
Regards,
The Emperor
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Dear Emperor,
Hi! It's Murray the Cat again. Things are really boring in the Secret Room on an adjacent plane to the Avatar Room. It seems things have gone real real quiet in the Avatar Room, in fact, so quiet, we're not sure if there's anyone there anymore. We keep calling out, but we get no response. Could you send us to some Target Practice so Badrukk, his Flash Gitz, and the enslaved Equinox Ensign Marla Gilmore can use their much-improved arsenal? As for me and my kitty friends? We want you to send us to a safe place that is still close to Badrukk, his Flash Gitz, and Marla.
Can you help us out? We can teleport out of the Secret Room, but we have no interstellar spaceship anymore.
Please help!
-Murray the Cat and his 99 kitty friends.
INSANE army lists still available!!!! Now being written in 8th edition format! I have Index Imperium 1, Index Imperium 2, Index Xenos 2, Codex Orks Codex Tyranids, Codex Blood Angels and Codex Space Marines!
PM me for an INSANE (100K+ points) if you desire.
I would like to help you in your plight, but I am currently too proccupied with the current state of my Imperium and won't be able to sent you any target practice directly.
However I have order flyers to be dropped at the nearest Ork warbands with directions to your location. Those green skins love a fight and I am sure they won't dissapoint your companions once they get there. I can sadly not spare any starships since we are short on those allready and I have to sort out this Primaris thing everryone wont shut up about.
We at Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd, Law offices, are counsel for Hasbro, Inc. and Hasbro Studios LLC the owners of the copyrights and trademarks for the MY LITTLE PONY line of toy ponies and related cartoons, including the FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC?? animated television series. We write because we believe that you in your previous post the show mentioned; My Little Carnifex: Friends are Sustenance, is an infringement of Hasbro’s MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC series.
Further more the characters of Pinky Maw, Rainbow Furious Charge and Twilight Bioplasma, Flutter Shriek and Butter Claw are malevolent mockeries of our copyrighted characters, here by mentioned, Pinky Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and Butterball, portrait as horrible all devouring space bugs, instead of cute, innocent ponies, completely in appropriate for our intended age demographic.
We demand that you CEASE & DESIST with this uncalled for and hostile portrail of our copyrighted franchise.
We feel that said actions go beyond mere parody and will associate Hasbro’s MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC (copyrighted by Hasbro.) with undesirable views of cosmic horror and scary space bugs. Hasbro has stated they manage those well enough on there own in the show.
We would write directly to the post owner, however there is no contact information on the website, and the domain registration information is located in a different space-time plane.
We are authorized to act on Hasbro’s behalf regarding these matters. The information provided in this communication is accurate to the best of my knowledge and is provided under penalty of perjury.
We would also appreciate it if you forwarded this correspondence to the post owner.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. This letter does not purport to be a complete statement of the facts or the law and is without prejudice to Hasbro’s legal and equitable rights.
Sincerely yours,
Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd
Law offices.
NYC, LONDON, HONG KONG, IAUKTHAOTHR'ZHIXZ.
A hemophobic Khorne berzerker, a germophobic plague marine and a sexy Skaven walk in to a Games workshop..... -------------------------------------------
We mark the lands with blood, in fire we prevail. We are tremendous. We are the end of days. -------------------------------------------
It ain't appropriate for anybody, baby. That's the siren call!
We at Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd, Law offices, are counsel for Hasbro, Inc. and Hasbro Studios LLC the owners of the copyrights and trademarks for the MY LITTLE PONY line of toy ponies and related cartoons, including the FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC?? animated television series. We write because we believe that you in your previous post the show mentioned; My Little Carnifex: Friends are Sustenance, is an infringement of Hasbro’s MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC series.
Further more the characters of Pinky Maw, Rainbow Furious Charge and Twilight Bioplasma, Flutter Shriek and Butter Claw are malevolent mockeries of our copyrighted characters, here by mentioned, Pinky Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and Butterball, portrait as horrible all devouring space bugs, instead of cute, innocent ponies, completely in appropriate for our intended age demographic.
We demand that you CEASE & DESIST with this uncalled for and hostile portrail of our copyrighted franchise.
We feel that said actions go beyond mere parody and will associate Hasbro’s MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC (copyrighted by Hasbro.) with undesirable views of cosmic horror and scary space bugs. Hasbro has stated they manage those well enough on there own in the show.
We would write directly to the post owner, however there is no contact information on the website, and the domain registration information is located in a different space-time plane.
We are authorized to act on Hasbro’s behalf regarding these matters. The information provided in this communication is accurate to the best of my knowledge and is provided under penalty of perjury.
We would also appreciate it if you forwarded this correspondence to the post owner.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. This letter does not purport to be a complete statement of the facts or the law and is without prejudice to Hasbro’s legal and equitable rights.
Sincerely yours,
Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd
Law offices.
NYC, LONDON, HONG KONG, IAUKTHAOTHR'ZHIXZ.
Dear Law office,
Copyright Infringement no longer exists in the 41st millennium.
Prepare to be purged for the heresy you have just sent me.
Regards,
The Space Emperor
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Dear Emperor,
So, where were you during Hurricane Matthew of 2016? Haiti? Florida? Or *gasp* North Carolina?
Regards,
Hurricane God
INSANE army lists still available!!!! Now being written in 8th edition format! I have Index Imperium 1, Index Imperium 2, Index Xenos 2, Codex Orks Codex Tyranids, Codex Blood Angels and Codex Space Marines!
PM me for an INSANE (100K+ points) if you desire.
You know damn well I caused those things you little hack. Call me when a species worships you.
Bless Me,
*The Emperor*
______________________________________________
Dear Emperor,
I have been faithful in my tithes and charity as per Imperial Law. When my son was found to be a little wierd, we shipped him off to the black ships just to be safe. I've even attended more than the required daily Mass and made certain to pray every time I plowed my field.
The local PDF left yesterday along with the government and the local chapter of the space marines have cleared out. I'm standing here with a pitchfork and a sea of orks heading there way downtown.
Where are your armies? Did we do something wrong? Will you intervene or are we truly doomed?
Frightfully yours,
Imperial Farmer #32821-B
Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
I have been faithful in my tithes and charity as per Imperial Law. When my son was found to be a little wierd, we shipped him off to the black ships just to be safe. I've even attended more than the required daily Mass and made certain to pray every time I plowed my field.
The local PDF left yesterday along with the government and the local chapter of the space marines have cleared out. I'm standing here with a pitchfork and a sea of orks heading there way downtown.
Where are your armies? Did we do something wrong? Will you intervene or are we truly doomed?
INSANE army lists still available!!!! Now being written in 8th edition format! I have Index Imperium 1, Index Imperium 2, Index Xenos 2, Codex Orks Codex Tyranids, Codex Blood Angels and Codex Space Marines!
PM me for an INSANE (100K+ points) if you desire.
I supposed I could google what the @#$% any of that is, but my Google searches are still backlogged with all my searches for skin creams, vitamin drinks and spa treatments. Do you know how hard it is to find anti-aging treatments suitable for 40,000 year old invalid?
Which reminds me, hey Zombified Corpse of Malcador the Sigillite! Found anything yet?
Well keep looking!
E out!
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My holy master,
As the Supreme Vice-Arch-Canoness of the Sisters of Justice and Welfare (the SJWs) I have always made it a point to unceasingly stamp down on the greatest threat facing the Imperium, I refer of course to Micro Aggressions.
Just last week after I single-handedly slew a dozen ork nobs a guardsman said that I fight well for a woman. We immediately purged the entire regiment with fire and blood.
A month ago, after we finished cleared a Space Hulk of Genestealers a Blood Angel captain said my armor looked good. I pushed him out an airlock to drift forever.
And yesterday an Arbitor said 'You are my equal and I respect your personhood' but he kind of smirked when said it so I set him on fire.
No one can question our purity or dedication to forever freeing the Imperium from the scourge of Micro Aggressions. Yet when I put out a call for allies to assist us in eliminating the Chaos Cultists infesting our world there was no reply. Why will no one side with the SJWs?
Sincerely,
Supreme Vice-Arch-Canoness Puritina Canonite of the SJWs
First read the Codex Astartes. Then Read the Imperial Truth. Hell read the last thousand years of Imperial history while you are at it. I'm looking for the term 'Micro-Aggression'...
...nope. not there. Haven't heard that term since the world fell to nuclear fire in the early 2000s. You really, really, need to update your rehtoric and get with the 41st century here. Xenos and Tratiors are the hotness right now and you need to focus on those things. Leave 21st century politics to the historians.
Blessings and whatever I'm supposed to say,
Space Emperor the First (and only)
_______________________________________
Dear Omnissiah,
I was hoping you could settle a debate amongst ourselves here in Hive-Foundry 273/A. It seems Archmagios Cawl has directed us to do some very non-STC directed modifications and we are debating whether we should try them out before declaring him a heretic. I mean floating tanks do sound cool and all, but I have always believed that inovvation was a tool of the enemy. I mean the Dark Mechnicas invoate all the time, and most of the time it's just adding more useless flesh to an already perfectly working machine. Last piece of it we saw was a Leman Russ with a giant nose on front. I mean, a Nose? What the hell was that for?
I can't help but feel the same way about the floating tank. Is it really a tank if it doesn't have treads. Is the extra resources worth it if we can't even type 'Can Fly' on the dataslate? I know we are supposed to follow directives and all that but this ...innovation.. just feels wrong. What if the next directive is to add more legs to the dreadnought or a third layer of space marine armor to a centurion?
Some guidance would be wonderful. I'm just not certain if we should follow through on these changes or just ship the tank with the normal treads and let Cawl deal with it himself.
100110,
TechPreist JHN-Y5
Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
