Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Looks good. I tried to load the Fighting Fantasy page but there was nothing there but the header.

Yeah it actually looks like this right now:

http://madbean.com/anim/totallygridbag/

Thanks.

Le Poireau de Paris, Fevrier 1621


Advertisements and Classified

Colonel Jean-Michael Bael on Gambling
The use of foreign dice in Paris’s clubs is a public disgrace. The Constable of Paris should suppress this pernicious practice!

Recruitment
Colonel Thore wishes to express his sincere gratitude to Le Poireau Parisien.
He declares its unflagging support of the 13th Fusiliers a most commendable service to His Majesty and all France.
Also, he encourages gentlemen readers of this honorable gazette, excluding any few who are cowards, to appear before him at regimental headquarters where some few billets might still be filled.

The Scottish Method -- An infallible Way of Training the Strength of the Limbes and Bodie.
Monsieur Sholto MacBain, of Edinburgh, an Expert in the Art of Training, presents The Scottish Method. This Discipline and Training shall if diligently followed without fail restore the strength of a Gentleman, depleted by lack of martial exercise.



Court and Social

A Proclamation of His Excellency the Cardinal Richelieu
“The practice of duelling has increased grieviously in recent months. Far from being an affair of honour, the clashing of arms within Paris is little better then brigandage. The Cardinal’s Guards have been instructed to aid the Constable of Paris in suppressing duellists wherever or whenever they are encountered within the walls of the city.”


Military Appointments
His Most Christian Majesty King Louis XIII has been gracious as to accept the resignations of the following Colonels, who are to be employed on other government duties.

Mr. Chaorce, the Royal Foot Guards, who is appointed to Governor of the Port of Toulouse
Mr. Raclette, the King’s Musketeers, who is appointed to Constable of the Vosges
Mr, Beaufort, the Dragoon Guards, who is appointed to Chief Inspector of Customs

The Baron Mauvoisin is hereby commissioned as Colonel of the Royal Foot Guards.

Mr. Patrick Le Tacomanne is hereby commissioned as Colonel of the Dragoon Guards.

Mr. Jean-Luc Girad is hereby commissioned as Captain of the 13th Fusiliers.


Ministry of State
The Minister announced the immediate resignation of the Commissioner of Public Safety and the appointment of Colonel Le Tacomanne, of the Dragoon Guards, to be effective forthwith. The Minister confides that all gentlemen of Paris will give the new Commissioner their utmost help in the performance of his duties.



Around Town

Week 1:
The lively Mr. Le Tacommane, a great Clubman, moved his premises of regular attendance to Bothwells and celebrated his entry into this most prestigious establishment by a great Partie, which was attended by many friends and hangers-on including most notably the Colonel Thoré of the 13th Fusiliers and guest his Mistress the lovely Olympe, the Colonel Mr. Bael of the Picardy Musketeers and his Mistress Madame Roxane.

The Baron Mauvoisin was also in the club however spent the time closeted with his Mistress Camille and they only emerged to watch Mr. Le Tacommane at the dice, where the ardent sabreur devastated the table with five straight wins!

The fiery chevalier declared loudly there was nothing wrong with the dice whichever country they might be from.

Meanwhile a great Drama was played out in front of the Hotel of Madame Olympe Prideau. Apparently unaware that the lovely Lady was absent, not one but two young officers presented themselves with gifts on her doorstep at the same time!

The first to arrive was the notorious Major Gagnon of the Gascons, who while waiting was joined by a certain Royal Marine officer of higher social and military rank. The Major refused to give way to social precedence as was the custom and hot words were issued, followed swiftly by the ring of tempered steel! Fortunately our reporter captured all the action before the arrival of the Cardinal’s Guards.


The Duel

Round 1
Major Gagnon’s light rapier gave him a speed advantage, and he certainly looked strong. Mr. Gagnon took the initiative, jumping forwards to stab the Marine’s arm, who wielding a cutlass was slower but seemingly more skilful and made good use of the weight of his weapon to clip the Major’s shoulder.

Round 2
Having gained the initiative Mr. Gagnon pressed his advantage and hit his enemy in the thigh. Who seemed fairly badly hurt, however he was yet able to return the favour and the sharp cutlass cut the wrist of the Picardien.

Round 3
Although bleeding from two wounds, the Royal Marine upheld the greatest reputation of his regiment and had no stomach to yield. He made a very swift return from the previous pass, with an unusual (for the cutlass) thrusting blow catching Mr. Gagnon in the chest which clearly hurt him grievously, though it glanced off his rib. This strike though effective left the young officer open to a riposte and he was discomforted by a further stab in the arm.

Round 4
By now clearly seriously hurt, the Marine nonetheless determined to continue the engagement. In fact his blood was up and realising his skill was superior to Mr. Gagnon’s, he took advantage of the Major being still off balance from his previous thrust. The cutlass cut the Major’s arm and swept his return attack aside. This left Mr. Gagnon looking distinctly peaky, however he too declined to abandon the fight.

Round 5
Seeing the opponent’s endurance starting to deplete, the Marine’s confidence was renewed and he struck first, hitting Mr. Gagnon leg and again deflecting the return thrust. Everyone could see that this new wound was bringing Gagnon’s endurance down to level with his more skilfull opponent.

Round 6
Again the Royal Marine attacked first, beating Mr. Gagnon’s blade to the side with his heavy cutlass and striking again to the arm. The Major seemed to know this was a crisis and made a determined riposte. The Marine already being so tired, Mr. Gagnon’s rapier evaded his parry and took him in the leg. However, as both of the combatants rested, the Royal Marine proudly declared he was not ready to accept defeat.

Round 7
Mr. Gagnon regained his breath first and attacked. The cutlass’s handguard turned his blade and a riposte was made which cut the Major’s shoulder, bringing fresh blood to soak into his clothes.

Round 8
As Mr. Gagnon swayed with faintness, the young Marine seized his advantage and jumped forwards with the last of his strength, cutting Mr. Gagnon’s arm again before he could react.

At this point his accumulated wounds and blood loss became too much, and the Major fainted honourably. The servants carried him home where our reporter is assured a barber leeched him and bound up his wounds.

Although left in possession of the field of battle, the sudden approach of the Cardinal’s Guards forced the Royal Marine also to remove to a nearby place where he could rest and recover himself a little.


The 13th Fusiliers gains a new Officer
While not attending the Clubs, the Colonel Thoré was pleased to welcome another young recruit to his illustrious regiment. Mr. Jean-Luc Girad, recently arrived in paris form the provinces, applied for and was granted the commission of Captain of Company F of the 13th Fusiliers. He joins the young André Le Main, promoted last month from Subaltern, who spent this week with his mistress Bibi at the Frog & Peach.


Week 2:
A flurry of military appointments was made as previously announced in our Court & Social columns.

While the departure of three senior colonels was perhaps a surprise, Le Poireau wishes them well in their new appointments and extends congratulations to the new Colonel Baron Mauvoisin of the Royal Foot Guards, and Colonel Mr. Patrick Le Tacomanne of the Dragoon Guards, who were commissioned this week.

Mr. Roland Le Blanc was seen to visit the Rue Pigalle, limping!

The Colonel Mr. Thoré visited his Club the Blue Gables, together with his Mistress, Olympe,

Meanwhile, undiscouraged by his failure last week, the Major Gagnon of the Gascons, returned to Madame Prideau’s doorsteo however he was of course frustrated by the absence of the lovely Lady.

Colonel Bael, of the Picardy Musketeers, was seen at Blue Gables too, and spent the rest of the month there, as he is so often wont to do.

The lower clubs were also well patronised, Captain Girad repairing to the Frog & Peach however it was noticed that no gambling was done perhaps reflecting general mistrust of the state of Paris’s dice, though the skill displayed by Mr. Le Tacommane in the previous week seems to refute this calumny, though also it must be said that even the Colonel (as he now must be named) gambled little money compared to his normal habits.

It was heard that the new Captain Le Main, misunderstanding his military duties reported for service and finding that senior officers have no regular work decided to spend his time in the martial exercise of the Rapier, which is greatly to be commended and explains why the 13th Fusiliers is truly the most Elite regiment of Paris.


Week 3:
Promoted to Colonel last week, the Baron Mauvoisin displayed the best example to his men by spending the week in practice of the Rapier.

Meanwhile there was a stirr at the Office of the Commission of Public Safety. The Minister of State arrived and removed the erstwhile Commissioner from post with immediate effect, whose performance had been so lacking and was so justly criticised by this paper. At this moment the Colonel Le Tacommane arrived seeking a position and his reputation having preceded him, the Minister was glad to seize the opportunity and appointed the Colonel forthwith, thus there was no real lapse in the continuance of this important work.

The Lt-Colonel Le Blanc of the Royal Marines, enrolled himself with Mr Sholto McBan, the noted Scottish athlete and master in a scientific method guaranteed to restore strength to the limbes. For some reason, after examining the young officer Mr. McBain decided to start him on the lightest part of the programme, which is to be wondered at since as a Marine the Lt-Colonel is not seriously lacking in bodily strength. Could he have suffered some strange wounds recently and how?

At the Rue des Capuchins, in the Headquarters of the 13th Fusiliers, the men were joined at their martial exercises by their Colonel, who practised rapier with the rest of them and showed considerable skill.

It was perhaps lucky for someone that the Colonel had not chosen to visit his Mistress Olympe this week, since the fragrant presence was affronted by the appearance of a certain Major of the Gascons, carrying armfuls of presents. While the presents were accepted, the young officer was not admitted to the apartements and went home hanging his head.


Week 4:
The Baron Mauvoisin again visited Bothwells with his Mistress, Camille.

The Commissioner of Public Safety, assured by his assistants that all was well, left his office and was seen to walk in the direction of the hôtel of the gracious La Comtesse, though it is not known if he made a call there or merely happened to need to go in that direction on some other errand.

The training hall of Mr. McBain attracted another illustrious client as Colonel Thoré, ever searching for ways to improve his ability in the service of The King, joined Mr. Le Blanc in a programme of lifting exercises. On returning to his home after these exertions, the Colonel was heard to lift his voice somewhat angrily, the phrases “Madame Prideau”, “that insolent Major” and “Insupportable” being clearly heard despite the shutters closing the window aperture from the present cold winds.

The reason for this outburst is not hard to find. The notorious Major Gagnon, whom we understand has been rejected by his erstwhile lover Ninon, had been seen importuning the Madame Olympe with gifts which were roundly refused by that vision of virtue, who sent a note to her beau thus causing the outburst.

Surely this will lead to a most sporting engagement next month!

Perhaps anticipating some future need, or at any rate eager to emulate the marvellous example of their colonel, the young Captains Girad and Le Main of the 13th Fusiliers, spent the week in practice of Rapier, and though neither had any notable skill, Girad was clearly the better of the pair.


Paris
The Colonel Thoré announced the establishment of the 13th Fusiliers as being currently 950 men and 10 field officers, which is a good strength for a regiment particularly at the low point of the year, reflecting the assiduity of the Colonel in building up the regiment, supporting loyally by this very newspaper Le Poireau Parisien. Le Poireau congratulates the good Colonel on his efforts.

The Cardinal’s Guards deployed to suppress duelling!
His Excellency the Cardinal arranged for two companies of his Guard regiment to be attached to the office of the Constable of Paris in order to help suppress the lamentable outbreak of duelling, or more properly street brawling, which has sadly afflicted the city these past months.


La France
Strong winds swept the Gironde, afflicting the vineyards by way of scouring the protective snow from off the sleeping vines. Vignerons appealed for help from the government to avert a collapse in this year’s harvest leading to a dearth of this most vital drink of the military and civil populace alike.

Montpellier
The siege continues. It is reported that the Royal Army had some success against some outwork of the Huguenots, though it is not clear what.


International

Peace of Nikolsburg a Threat to France
The Holy Roman Emperor Ferdinand II having signed a treaty in December of January -- the date is not clear -- with the Prince of Transylvania in Nikolsburg, the Imperial forces no longer threatened from the east can focus their effort on the Rhineland in support of the Spanish attempt to suppress the Dutch Republic.

This is a great threat to France since with strong Habsburg forces on both the northern and southern borders, and possibly entering the Rhineland, the country could possibly be invaded from any side.

Thank goodness for the loyal support of the English, says Le Poireau.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
***********************************************************************************

Le Canard Sale de Fevrier 1622


All the news that other papers dare not print!


Counting on La Comtesse
The newly appointed Commissioner of Public Safety certainly set his sights high when he called upon La Comtesse this month.

The Colonel’s surprising success surmounted another summit as he was admitted to the awesome apartements.

Let us hope his energies are depleted in the battlefield of Venus, or certain gentlemen will surely feel the long arm of the so-called law on their collar before the season is out.


Duel in the Dusk
A certain Picardien blotted his copybook in a Major way this month, first losing a duel on a lady’s doorstep, then enraging the cool Colonel Thoré by committing an indiscretion with the Colonel’s acknowledged Mistress.

We hear that Madame Ninon Girard, her eyes opened to her lover’s louche ways, has thrown him out on his ear!


A Royal Marine’s Revenge
Lt-Colonel Le Blanc, still searching for love, found a sword instead when he was affronted by Mr. Gagnon recently. The sailor’s heavy cutlass cut last, but it cut deep, sending the saucy swain swooning home.


Cardinal’s Guards to Clean Up the Streets!
His Excellency recently railed against the rapier in a disingenuous diatribe designed only to provide a pretext for His personal paladins to patrol Paris.


Mauvoisin Makes His Move
As prevously predicted, the ambitious Baron prepared a plot with the aid and Favour of his Mistress Camille, which duly delivered new duties as the highest ranked Colonel in the Royal Army.


A Bridge Too Far?
The news from Montpelier is too depressing for other papers to report.

General Salers’s percipient plan for the capture of a bastion was barely a success, owing to slack execution by the front line troops.

The rebels have yet one bridge fully open into the city. At this rate of progress it will be summer before the siege can be called successful.

Kilkrazy,


OOC: what a great campaign this is turning into. Excellent summaries and plot twists. Thanks!

It is indeed.

However, I'd suggest making duels more costly - either more dangerous, or costing money or SP. As it is, there's little incentive not to get into duels.

Wait until someone gets killed.

The duelling system was pinched out of Briney En Garde so it is not untested. I added a critical hit to make it a bit more dangerous.

If people set their surrender level to 50% they are unlikely to get killed. If they set a low or no surrender level, someone will get killed in due course. There just need to be more duels.

OK

Yes so I will be gambling at Hunter's in the first and second weeks of this month so if anyone would like to join me feel free. I would expect to be at Horse Guards for the rest of the season to celebrate my Colonelship and in preparation for the military campaign but Hunter's for this month.

Regards,
Colonel Patrick le Tacomanne
Dragoon Guards

You can't rejoin a club you resigned from for three months, so check if/when you were a member of Hunter's and whether you want to resign from Bothwells.

You can't be a member of two clubs.

ah man.

Lt. Colonel LeBlanc invites the good gentleman, Major Gagnon, to join him for a drink in the first week of April when his wounds have healed. The Major acquitted himself will and despite his disregard for rank or social order, is not a dastard or a villain, nor do I consider him a foe.


May you survive to serve your king and regiment well.


Roland LeBlanc

Major Gagnon is overwhelmed by the Lt-Colonel's courtesy, but regrets that he must spend the week in martial exercise.

Last call for your orders for Mars 1622!

I need your orders by Saturday evening UK time so I can process the turn.

Thanks to everyone who has already sent their orders.

Yes so while I do appreciate the patience and diligence of le Roi I WILL be in fact throwing parties at Bothwell's with le Comptesse this month in the first two weeks before I get back to the training yard. New Colonelship, it would not do to appear lax in my duties. So if anyone is interested in joining the carousing etc is on me but you will have to pay for your gambling etc.

Regards,
(Colonel) Patrick le Tacomanne
Dragoon Guards

Captain Jean-Luc Girad hereby declares his anger at the despicable advance of the dastardly Major Gagnon. His advances on the fair Mistress of Colonel Thore'. By slighting our fine leaders honour, he has made an enemy not only of our Colonel, but of the fighting men of the 13th Fusilliers. I am sure that Captain Le Main will agree with me when I say that the men support Colonel Thore' in whatever manner of retribution he seeks upon the briggand. The only reason that I do not make my utmost effort to cross swords with the man is becuase I am sure the Champion of Le France will want the first go!

-Captain Jean-Luc Girad

Meanwhile, in the mud of Montpelier...

A young Subaltern watched with trepidation as his commander perused the news from Paris, his face darkening with anger the further he got through the "Poireau Parisien." Finally, the commander balled the paper in rage and flung it into the mud. The Subaltern, being new to the battalion, made on grave mistake. He opened his mouth, "Any news from Paris, sir?"

Manfred Guderian spun on his heels, his gaze making the young officer flinch as he barked out: "Only that those idiots continue to party while there is a legitimate enemy of Paris to be fought just over there," a vague hand gesture indicating the stony grey redoubts of the Huegonots. "Ready the men for inspection. We will remain here until those bastards castles are razed and their stain upon the King's honor permanently erased from the memories of all France."

Le Canard Sale de Mars 1622

All the news that other papers dare not print!


Duelling Disturbance Defies Guards
Two men fought furiously in direct defiance of the dour directive recently released by The Eminence Rouge. The Cardinal’s Guards rushing to the scene were wrong-footed by locals who sent them on the Rive Gauche.


Party Hearty ends Smartly
The Commissioner of Public Safety seemed to belie the name of his own office in hosting a party at which a duel was fought. The contenders engaged for two rounds in the courtyard at Bothwells and the victor Colonel Thoré returned to the bar for two rounds of drinks.


Arise Sir Manfred?
Honours were heaped on the German Horatio for his defence of the Bridge at Montpelier against the odds. But Le Canard can reveal the engagement was a modest melee mentioned merely to mask the military misdeeds of the useless General Salers. A smokescreen is a tool to fool the foe, not the public. Recall Salers and replace him with Guderian!


McBain’s Marvellous Muscle Method
No-one believed in the success of the so-called Scottish Scientist Sholto, yet Mr. LeBlanc parades proud possession of superior strength subsequent to stern submission to the Hibernian hard man.


Prideau Before a Fall...
A rumour reaches Le Canard that the lovely Olympe has been persuaded to transfer her amorous attentions away from the fiery Fusiler Thoré. Though all’s fair in Love and War, the Colonel has been found a first-rate fighter in both fields of battle. The Lady Olympe’s lucky new Lover had better seen to his sword as well as his club-going clothes.

************************************************

Le Poireau Parisien -- Paris's Premier Paper
Mars 1621


Advertisements and Classified

Colonel le Baron Mauvoisin
The Baron Mauvoisin is disturbed by the slanders and innuendos being circulated by a certain cavalry officer.
On the first week of next month, the Baron and his second will be taking a stroll on the Rue St. James, if there is any interest in having a "discussion" of our differences.

Recruitment
On behalf of the 13th Fusiliers, Col. Thore congratulates Commissioner Colonel Patrick le Tacomanne on the Happy Occasion of his Advancement.
The 13th is eager to take the field alongside Col. le Tacomanne's Famous Regiment this Spring.
Col. Thore recommends that able-bodied men desirous of such Glorious Exploit enlist in the 13th Fusiliers without delay.


The Scottish Method -- An infallible Way of Training the Strength of the Limbes and Bodie.
Monsieur Sholto MacBain, of Edinburgh, an Expert in the Art of Training, presents The Scottish Method. This Discipline and Training shall if diligently followed without fail restore the strength of a Gentleman, depleted by lack of martial exercise.



Court and Social

Glorious Victory at Montpelier!

His Most Christian Majesty King Louis XIII received the following dispatches from the General Falers commanding the Royal Army at the rebel city of Montpelier.

"Your Majesty, it is my honour to be able to report that following the success last month of closing the bridge that approaches Montpelier from the west, I took prompt and stern action to prosecute the siege and bring it to a speedy end

To that design, the 1st Battalion, Picardy Musketeers was ordered to patrol the region south of the city, and
scored a great success by its commander Lieutenant-Colonel Manfred Guderian who made an ambush which successfully destroyed an important enemy supply column.

In proof of which I present to Your Majesty this barrel of Agen Prunes, part of the supplies that were destroyed by the valiant officer. Also a prisoner whom was captured in the engagement and he having no useful information I have sent him to be imprisoned at your pleasure in the Bastille."


The King Honours the Glorious Heroes!!

His Most Christian Majesty is delighted by the present of Prunes and even more by the success of Our Royal Armes.

To show Our Pleasure We are pleased to grant the distinction of Knighthood to the valiant Lt-Colonel Guderian, who shall henceforth be known as Sir Manfred.



Around Town

Week 1:
The Baron Mauvoisin was as usual in his Clubbe Bothwells and gambled modestly for a total of three wins a loss and cutting once, carried home 125P of the Clubbe’s money and was well satisfied with the evening’s work. It was noticed though that he did not partake in the great Partie of the Colonel Le Tacomanne, who with his usual generosity threw open his table to all who cared to join.

The Colonel also played at the Dice, cooly throwing 500P down as his stake at each play. He quickly notched up two wins and a single Cut, then played twice more for another win and a loss which satisfied his sporting instinct for the night having picked up a very handy 1,250P for his evening’s leisure.

The next day, a commotion was witnessed in front of the apartements of the Madame Yasmine. The young Major Gagnon was walking down the street carrying a large bunch of expensive flowers when he was met by Colonel Thoré of the Glorioua 13th Fusiliers.

The Major clearly put out of countenance by this sudden appearance of a man who has good reason to wish for an encounter with the Major, rashly accused the Colonel of having followed him by means of Ferretts, not the action of a Gentleman.

Mr. Thoré already angry replied shortly that he would happily give satisfaction for that at the same time as taking revenge for the insult offered last month to his Mistress, and drew his rapier.

Pausing only to see the flowers safely in the hands into the hands of his servant, Mr. Gagnon also drew and the swords were crossed.

Round 1
The Colonel took initiative but his excitement was too great and his attack was weak, so Mr. Gagnon was easily able to parry. Mr. Thoré parried his return attack.

Round 2
Mr. Thoré seeming to hold the great skill took initiative again, however again Mr. Gagnon eluded him. The Major’s riposte was weak and easily blocked.

Round 3
Taking stock of the situation, the Colonel prepared his attack. Somehow he could not come to grips with his foe. Although his swordplay seemed greatly superior, his blade could not find its rightful place in the Major’s body. Mr. Gagnon’s attack was equally ineffective and easily parried.

Round 4
The cheerful ringing of the clashing blades had by now attracted a small crowd, some of who kept watch for the Cardinal’s Guards.

The Colonel struck first again and lunged quickly, for a narrow miss. The Major swept and Mr. Thoré ducked his blade.

Round 5
Taking the initiative for the fifth straight round, the Colonel showed his skill with a careful sequence that caused Mr. Gagnon to move into the very spot where he could finally touch his rapier into the Major’s arm. First blood! However the Major managed to catch Mr. Thoré and cut his thigh as he sprang back.

Although wounded the Major wished to continue the fight, which prompted cheers from the onlookers.

Round 6
After a brief rest, Mr. Thoré attacked first once and scored easily. The Major made a weak riposte, which glided past the Colonel. Thanks to wounds remaining from last month, Mr. Gagnon was now down to half his endurance and could not continue, so he put up his sword.

With honour satisfied the Colonel returned to his headquarters, limping slightly, and the Major went to a nearby tavern to recover himself.


Meanwhile at the 13th Fusiliers, Captains Le Main and Girad were engaged in a friendly swordplay for the sake of practice.


Mr. Roland LeBlanc, again visited the training groundes of Mr. McBain for further training of his strength and being pleased with his progress of increasing his Muskularity announced his intention to return the next week to complete the first part of the course.



Week 2:
The Colonel Le Tacommane held another great Partie at Bothwells, and was attended by Mr. Thoré and his Mistress Olympe, and all were disturbed by a commotion as Mr. Gagnon desiring entry to the party was refused by the doorman as not being a member of the Club or else a Guest.

However Mr. Le Tacommane thinking the Major was another latecomer to his party had the gentleman admitted who sat with the others and after some while began to importune upon the Madame Olympe which was the natural cause of jealousy on the part of the Colonel Mr. Thoré who invited the Major outside to resolve their differences.

The party removed to the private courtyard of Bothwells a venue well suited for duelling as it is broad and spacious and contains various tables and awnings which can be used for acrobatic feats of skill if the gentlemen so engaged are minded to take advantage however on this occasion the Colonel Mr. Thoré being in high temper wished to bring the engagement to a swift conclusion and quickly struck the Major’s sword aside and cut him, then rested and seemingly invited a riposte however this was revealed as a ploye when Mr. Gagnon, lunging quickly forwards appeared to throw himself directly onto the the Colonel’s blade it taking him in the thigh and tearing the great muscle which was cause of great effusion of blood so that the Major was forced to surrender.

Even though Mr. Thoré took a slight cut in the course of this fight he was swiftly attended by the Clubb servants and passed the rest of the night in conversation, apparently complaining about the bad quality of senior officers to be found now in the Royal Marins which was wondered at by some onlookers since Major Gagnon is known a member of the Gascon Regiment.

Mr. Gagnon survived his wounds and after being bound up and refreshed with wine and beer, German sausages &c was sent home in a sedan chair.

Mr. Le Main spent a quieter evening at Club Red Philips with his Mistresse Bibi Roux by which we are assured he must have enjoyed his time uninterrupted by alarums.

The town was otherwise quite this week as many gentlemen engaged themselves in martial exercises such as practice of the Rapier or training of the Bodie and Limbs.


Week 3:
The Major Gagnon, somewhat recovered from his recent encounters yet still looking somwhat ragged around his limbs by reason of various bandages, and patches to his suit, took himself via the street of the perfumiers to the residence of a Lady whose name is not to be mentioned however he was not admitted to her company, so that we are left to feel most sorry for the young Major who whatever his good sense in the handling of his affaires at least has the stomach of a true Frenchman to continue against all odds in pursuit of his goal.

Even so we are happy to report that having failed in his latest attack within the battlefields of Venus the young Gascon was able to console himself and rest his bodie in the bawdy houses of Rue Pigalle during Week 4.

The young Mr. Le Main continued his carousing at Red Philips, his Mistress Bibi at his side.

Lt-Colonel of the Royal Marines, was seen in Rue Pigalle, and his shirt looked somewhat tight upon his arms which cannot be good for the purpose of duelling.



Week 4:

A quiet week as so many gentlemen occupied themselves with activities not worthy of particular note, however the city was greatly enlivened by news from the Army currently at Montpelier, as has been already reported.


Paris
The Cardinal is said to be angry that his Guards have not managed to stop a single duell in the past month and upbraided their captains and the Constable of Paris with this failure.

Meanwhile the Constable welcomed to Le Bastille a Captain of the Huguenot rebels in Montpelier, who had been captured by Sir Manfred Guderian in a smartly fought action.


La France
Fogs and mists combined with lack of off-shore winds made a shortage of fresh fish this month causing farmers to complain that fish guts as well as seaweed being a most important fertiliser of coastal lands the government should take care to support this essential industry or risk shortage of something later in the year.



International
Spanish movement in the Dutch Netherlands threatens northern Frontier

The Dutch Republic loyal ally of France is threatened this season by unwarranted movement of Habsburg troops on the border where preparations are said to be under way for the Spanish to lay siege to several important fortresses.

*************************************************

Le Canard Sale de Avril 1622

All the news that other papers dare not print!


Mine Mess at Montpelier
As usual his plans go awry for Salers, shortly to be superceded and not a moment too soon. His mistake of the Minne made much menace to Thoré’s Troops and only a Lt-Colonel’s cunning contrivance of cordage could encompass the security and safety of several battalions.


Doormen Dutifully Defy Dubious Duo
What happened at Bothwells Clubbe, that happy haunt for high-ranking hosts? All Tomorrow’s Parties finished early as two would-be guests and their ladies were turned away and slunk shame-faced to Hunters. Mauvois and Le Tacommane were the perpertrators, Le Blanc and Bael their victims!


Southern Exposure?
The Cardinal’s Strategy for Summer conflicts with his Royal Patron’s preferences.

While King Louis's attention alternates between the various Huguenot strongholds, the real danger lies elsewhere as the Habsburgs harness their hordes for war on our northern borders. If Montpelier must be besieged, best it be done and finished soon. The army is needed elswhere.

Zut alors!

Le Poireau du Paris Avril 1622

Advertisements and Classified


Colonel Mr. Bael, the Picardy Musketeers

To Your Eminence; I thank you devoutly from my heart for the blessing. 
I pray only that I can be worthy of it, and that God protects my sword hand and my men,
despite its having experienced the corrupting touch of Cursed Dice!

To our brave and bold fighting men in Montpelier- particularly the bold Sir Manfred. 
All honor attend you; I curse the fates that have kept me in Paris during your ascent to glory. 
I shall fly back to your sides soon!

To a Certain Lady: Duty soon calls me to the field; but I shall carry the memories of your smile within my heart, just as I carry thy token close to it.
If I return, it shall be covered in honor won for you. 
If I die, it shall be in striving to best serve Le Roi and with your name on my lips. 

To His Honour, le Commissioner- may your success ascend as readily as your glass! 


The Scottish Method -- An infallible Way of Training the Strength of the Limbes and Bodie.
Monsieur Sholto MacBain, of Edinburgh, an Expert in the Art of Training, presents The Scottish Method. This Discipline and Training shall if diligently followed without fail restore the strength of a Gentleman, depleted by lack of martial exercise.



Court and Social

Heroic Action at Montpelier

The Lt-General Salers ordered exploded a grate Minee or gunpowder contrivance which by its great Force did throw into the air and overturn a great Bastion of the enemy's defence.

Storming forwards the 13th Fusiliers newly arrived from Paris, inflamed with ardent spirits of Rumme and eager to fight, entered the crater and made their way to the centre of the enemy defence.

But smoake and dust, raised by the terrible force of the explosion, cast a pall over the battlefield, thus the Fusiliers were unable to find their way and became lost among the enemy ditches, ramparts, glacis, ravelins, paradosses, re-entrants, saps, redoubts, bastions, walls and other defensive workks. They could neither advance nor find their way back to their supports, whom had been left to garrison the crater.

On recognising his comrades’ plight, the heroic Sir Manfred Guderian, Lt-Colonel of the Picardy Musketeers lost no time in moving his battalion forwards and entered the crater, his men carrying long roapes and cords they had got from the Engineers with which to mark a safe path though the darkness by stretching said roapes behind them as they advanced, a marvellous contrivance indeed!

Without delay, Sir Manfred brought out the 13th Fusiliers guided by his cunning apparatus of cordes, the whole movement being covered ably by the 3rd battalion, 13th Fusiliers (Mjr Niolo) for which the Major has been commended in dispatches by Lt-General Salers.

His Most Christian Majesty is well pleased by the action of his Picardiens in succouring their fellows in sore plight.


For Services Rendered, Sir Manfred Guderian is hereby granted Patent of Nobility and named Baron Guderian.


An Artistic Impression of the Noble Warrior


Around Town

Week 1:
Disturbances were noted at the door of Club Bothwells as two gentlemen accompanied by their ladies were refused admittance owing to their names being found neither on the list of members nor on the list of guests.

Although the gentlemen concerned insisted they were expected as guests of the Baron Mauvoisin and Col. Mr. Le Tacommane, the doorman had no ear for their importunities and they were sent away to make best of their situation by entering Club Hunters where it was noted that Lt-Col. Mr. Le Blanc and Col. Bael were the personages concerned however they ignored each other and drank privately with their Mistresses.

Mr. Le Blanc closeted himself with Olympe and they were seen to be deep in discussion of some serious matter though we cannot say what it was.

Meanwhile, a reporter of Le Poireau having been sent to the Rue St. James in anticipation of some honourable encounter found no sign of the Baron Mauvoisin but many Cardinal’s Guards having been sent there by the Constable of Paris so they declared to prevent a Breach of the Peace.

What has become of the leading gentlemen of Paris?


Week 2:
The Colonel Bael again attended Bothwells by himself this occasion and was again refused entry, Considerably put out of countenance the Colonel took himself to a better place, viz. Hunters and drank the week away.

Meanwhile there was no sign of either the Baron, or the Commissioner of Public Safety, though it was rumoured that both were engaged on serious business at their respective regimental headquarters.


Week 3:
Mr. Sholto McBain’s Traininge Grounde was again patronised by Mr. Roland Le Blanc, the most regular visitor of the gentlemen of quality and we hear he is well ahead in the way of being buff.

The Major Gagnon, much recovered from his exertions of recent months, spent much time to-ing and fro-ing between the markets of luxury goods, his apartement and the apartements of Madame Ninon, but as far as is known, he was not admitted.


Week 4:
Lt-Colonel Le Blanc, looking buff from his Scottish training visited Bothwells and was refused entry, thus he took himself and his lady Olympe, to The Blue Gables Club and spent a good evening.

The Colonel Bael, his fingers itching by reason of lack of the touch of the Dice, spent the week at Hunters and did gamble 600 pistoles on three throws, with results as follows:

1 - Win
2 - Loss
3 - Win

Thereby he raked in a useful 200 Pistoles profits which covered his drinking and to spare.



Paris
New cannons were ordered for the fortress of Saint-Lazare, and the Constable began work to improve the roads to the north, in anticipation of the movement of troops in May.
 
 
La France
Huguenot rebels at La Rochelle are rumoured to have sent an army to the aid of their fortress at Montpelier. The Baron du Rohan himself is leading the army which numbers several thousand.

The Farmers' Union protested that troop movements over the roads impede their spring planting and their ability to tend to their flocks of sheep, geese &c which has caused a shortage of first grade omelettes in the restaurants of the Nation.


International
His Excellency The Cardinal opened negotiations with the English upon the subject of mutual defence against Spanish encroachment in the area of Flanders which would be a serious threat to both the island kingdom and northern France. It is hoped that an alliance of the Dutch and English against the Hapsburgs will restored peace to a vital area of the borders.

Monsiuer Colonel Bael,

Due to the hard fighting around Montpellier, I ask that you send a new draft of recruits prior to the summer season as the 1st Battalion numbers less than half its allotted strength at the moment. I trust that my men have brought only honor to our King and regiment since taking to the field in Janvier. I look forward to our reunion on the fields of glory in a few short months when our glorious regiment will once again prove why it is the best in the army.

Regards,
Manfred Guderian

we still playing? I hope so because it was getting really interesting.

Hurry back Kilkrazy!

Captain Jean-Luc Girad also eagerly awaits the issue of Le Poir -ahem- Le Canard. Hopefully, he shall not be found in the obituaries.

It will get done when I recover from post-E3 video madness.

Hopefully, very soon.

Yay!

Any news on this front, KK?

Still nothing?

The campaign is restarting this August Bank Holiday weekend!

Now thats hella sweet guys.