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Honestly? It wouldn’t surprise me. The bands track you, and if you’re caught out of curfew “it burns” and then you die.

Oh, and the Government just…..caved in. And signed up to the Citizen Freedom Bands.

Oh and our hero ends up forced to wear one, then the Hispanic Dude inexplicably returns (and frankly it’s not entirely clear why he was there in the first place), and leads the hero and his family, to Mexico. And helps the hero chainsaw off his hand and band and then just….sort of welcomes them into his home. And the hero was responsible for the back door built into all electronic devices which allowed China to switch off the USA. And we see a good half dozen redneck looters summarily executed by the Sheriff for not wearing their bands. Only for the hero and his wife to be told “well I’ll let you off this time but you better go put them on, yeah”.

I’d say watch it for a laugh, but there is bugger all to laugh at. It’s like the fever dream of some insufferable Git.

I dare say if you and I don’t share the same side of the political spectrum you’ll be left baffled and indeed insulted at how things just….happen. And nobody fights it. At all.

Not a single Chinese actor or character either. Hell, I’m pretty sure Hispanic Bloke are the only non-white cast members. And as said, they seem to solely be there so at the end our “hero” can go to Mexico, because apparently, despite the border being unmanned….nobody that’s not from Mexico knows where Mexico is, I guess? Even with the map we see them using,

This movie sounds like such a dumpster fire that it's worth seeing just to see the fever dream.

Watch it at your own peril.

Pretty sure Alex “what is this reality you speak of, son of Adam” Jones would think it’s a load of baloney.


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*batteries not included

Perhaps a forgotten Spielberg, but a stone cold classic in my book. Plenty to enjoy and buckets of charm.

SFX haven’t quite held up, but given its a 36 year old film that’s perhaps not surprising. They still do the job of course. Perhaps one that could do with a CGI spit and polish around the seams, just to tidy up the odds and ends.

A Dangerous Man: Lawrence After Arabia(1992).

A television film about the political battle held in Paris, for Syria, after the First World War. Ralph Fiennes is excellent as Lawrence while DS9's Alexander Siddig is equally so as Prince Faisal.

The Kings Man

After the so-so first film and absolutely dire second one, I wasn't sure what I expected from the third part, but an almost complete departure from the style of the previous films (Only the Rasputin parts feel particularly Kingsman-y to me) probably wasn't it.
Overall, I thought it was pretty good, easily the best of the bunch.

In my opinion, The first one was a gloriously silly spy romp. The second went full Roger Moore. The third is a grumbly turgid bit of greyness. It makes absolute sense in terms of filling in some of the background set up in 1 and 2, and just by the backdrop of the horror of ww1 and basically focussing in loss, loses any sense of wonder and fun in my eyes. When they try to drop in a bit of levity in the fight scenes and big set pieces, it seems tacked on and out of place.

I preferred the first.

Don’t Blink

Reapturesque “people are disappearing, nobody is sure why” type thing. Basically if nobody has eyes on you, off you pop to currently no-one knows where.

I think it’s going for claustrophobic, but it’s a bit predictable.

I’m also amused at the cast, being comprised of “That Bloke From That Thing”, “I’m sure I’ve seen him in something but I’m not sure what”, “wasn’t she in” and so on and so forth. Also disappearing one by one. Just like their careers.

Don't blink was a movie with a cool idea that didn't fully utilize it. It really should have played up its camera work more and more cleverly.

Yeah. There’s definitely interesting stuff in there, but it just doesn’t come together. I don’t think it helped I didn’t really care for the characters. They’re just sort of there to disappear. No real motivations or character detail given.


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Godzilla Vs Kong

God I love this movie! It is big, it’s not particularly clever, but it is hugely fun.

The human element is of course there, but unlike Transformers not to the exclusion of the Keiju knocking seven bells out of each other. And another notch against Transformers? The fights aren’t a blur filmed from far too close. You see every blow, you feel every impact.

Though it is frustrating that Warner Bros can nail this series, and so utterly miss the mark with the DCEU.

Bring on the sequel!


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Slaxx

Now I’ve seen everything. Maybe not Man Eating His Own Head everything. But….killer demonic jeans everything.

No.

Really.

This is wicked and daft!

Willy’s Wonderland

Proof positive that whether you love him or loathe him, Nic Cage always gives it full tilt in any movie he’s cast in.

And this is a daft little romp, clearly inspired by Five Nights At Freddie’s and that recent Banana Splits movie.

A solid, silly B-Movie that doesn’t have pretentions above its low station. It’s knows it’s cheap and tacky, but unlike so many modern day intentional B-Movies, that cheap and tacky nature isn’t the whole joke or reason for its being.

The story is actually alright, the acting I’d say probably above par for this particular course. The costumes, effects and fights are also pretty solid.

Definitely worth a watch if you’re a fan of decently crafted B-Movie nonsense.

Just watched Predator 2 last night. Not watched it since probably the early 00’s. I enjoyed it very much despite it remaining a seriously miscalculated and derivative effort. Once you get past the fact that little to no thought went into coming up with a compelling story it is ridiculous fun witnessing Gary Busey and Danny Glover do battle with the now wise cracking Predator (who brings nifty new hunting gadgets)!

The Lions, the tigers, Oh My! Lol

If you enjoyed Predator and Predator 2?

Predators is probably worth a watch. Not quite the full shilling sadly, but enough to enjoy overall. Plus you always get points for Danny Trejo.

Prey is an absolute, 100% Must Watch.

The Predator doesn’t exist so I don’t even know why we’d discuss it, there’s nothing to discuss, it doesn’t do an exist. What doesn’t exist? Yeah, you got it.

The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.

Gave "analog horror" a shot with 2 movies that have been making some waves. Analog horror is an offshoot of the found footage genre, so if you don't like the whole shaky camera thing, you'll hate this. I personally didn't mind found footage but it definitely got played out years ago and "analog horror" is not much of an improvement.

"The Outwaters" and "Skinamarink". Neat concepts in either movie for sure. (A camping trip with multiple spooky happenings in the former, with the latter being 2 small kids being stalked by some sort of demon in a house). Some wild visuals and sounds, with the medium leaving a lot to the imagination, but it just fell flat for me. Not a fan of the this subgenre offshoot.

I'd recommend skipping them, unless you want to experiment with something different, though it may be frustrating.

Wicked City

Back when I was a younger person, and Japanese animated movies were becoming a thing in the Midwest one of the easier titles to find was this one. You know, along with things like Golgo 13: The Professional, Ninja Scroll, Vampire Hunter D, Project Ako, Bubble Gum Crisis, etc. Despite the ease of locating and watching this film, I had never done so. Now that Suncoast and indeed the very Malls that housed them are long gone, I figured now was as good a time as any to watch this.

Basically, the veil between the "dark world" where bad things live, and the "real world" is very thin. There is an agency whose job it is to keep the "dark world" from getting to out of hand in the "real world". Kinda of like Men-in-Black. This is one of their stories.

Ummm..... probably good I never really saw this film before. It is one of those Japanese movies that makes me realize that the sexual politics of Japan in the 80's were different from what people would find palatable in this modern time.

The animation is good, with a neo-noir feel to it, BUT you also see how they use a lot of static shots with either minor mods or just zoom ins to do the heavy lifting. The action scenes are obviously a bit better, but are rather short and to the point. Lot's of just a single shot or slash to finish the foe.

Overall, unless you are a big fan of early Japanese import animation, I think you will want to skip this.

Bunch of classic Ghibli films have gone up on Netflix so I've just watched Princess Monoko and Nausicaa both are excellent fantasys and as I'm sure most of you are well aware well worth a watch.

Friday 13th (2009, yes, really.)

Having watched Crystal Lake Memories , a behind the scenes doc/retrospective, recently, I was left with an itch to rewatch some of the movies.

Unfortunately, as none of the services I subscribe to currently offer them, and I've retired my parrot and hook in favour of a law abiding lifestyle (except when needs are dire) I had to compromise with a rewatch of this not terribly well received reboot.

I was blessed with very little recollection of this from the first time I watched it, which was probably on blu ray from Lovefilm it was that long ago, so I at least had the luxury of watching it, if not with fresh eyes, then at least with slightly amnesiac ones.

In all honesty, this is a pretty decent F13 movie, and a reasonable slasher in its own right. It checks all the boxes, although perhaps a little too slavishly to feel fresh and avoid seeming stale, despite the fact it's imitating it's own ideas. This incarnation of Jason is both athletic and physically intimidating, definitely more 28 Days Later than The Walking Dead, and is some sort of savant in terms of turning ordinary everyday items into lethal weapons, as every good slasher should be.

The girls are cute, the stoners are stoned, the jocks are obnoxious and the heroes are earnest, the blood is copious, only narrowly edging out the nudity and the kills are often creative, and if they're not then they're graphic. All the elements are here.

So why doesn't it work better?

For me, I think it's a lack of variation in intensity, which then translates to a lack of any real tension.

By introducing Jason before the titles even roll (albeit in a really decent opening sequence of kills) it totally robs the film of the chance to play with the reveal. The original features one of the greatest twists in horror history, and yet this entry, despite ostensibly being a return to the beginning, abandons all pretence of even playing with other possibilities before showing it hand.

Consequently, the viewer reaches a certain level practically frame one, and then stays there until the credits roll. There's no rollercoaster, nor is there any real sense of crescendo, consequently, although there's plenty of respectable scenes and ideas I'd have liked to see taken forward, the whole thing just feels flat.

Thanks for the heads-up, Llamahead. Those Studio Ghibli classics are the kind of charming we need right now.

I will get hate for this, but my favorite Friday the 13th is still Jason Goes to Hell. Although, it Freddy Vs Jason counts, then it’s that.


From the earlier conversation about Jet Li, I just remembered his film The One. The One is a solid action-Sci Fi movie with one of the best ending fade outs ever. I think Jet Li still gets a lot of good will for that one.

I think anyone who gives hate for someone liking the "wrong" F13 movie has significantly bigger problems to address!

SamusDrake wrote:
The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.

Agreed. Seems to be a rule of thumb for movies with a decent original. One good sequel then all downhill…

Saying that, I am one of those controversial figures who thinks Alien 3 was actually decent. Yes… I said it.

XvArcanevX wrote:

SamusDrake wrote:
The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.

Agreed. Seems to be a rule of thumb for movies with a decent original. One good sequel then all downhill…

Saying that, I am one of those controversial figures who thinks Alien 3 was actually decent. Yes… I said it.

I also don't think Alien 3 is that bad. It's definitely not as good as the first 2, but it isn't terrible IMO.

 creeping-deth87 wrote:

XvArcanevX wrote:

SamusDrake wrote:
The first two predators were good movies but it went down hill after that, although The Predator was at least funny and I've sadly not been able to watch Prey to give it a verdict.

Agreed. Seems to be a rule of thumb for movies with a decent original. One good sequel then all downhill…

Saying that, I am one of those controversial figures who thinks Alien 3 was actually decent. Yes… I said it.

I also don't think Alien 3 is that bad. It's definitely not as good as the first 2, but it isn't terrible IMO.

Nice. Hold the line brother. Hooooold!

For me the trouble with Alien 3 is that taken in isolation? It’s a perfectly decent film.

If it was the only Alien movie a person ever watched, they’d still know good info on what the Alien is, what makes it dangerous, how it reproduces etc.

But. As the third in the trilogy? It’s just not bringing anything new to the table. That for me is what makes it disappointing.

It is, on a film making basis leaps and bounds ahead of Alien Ressurection. But its story just isn’t anywhere near as good as AR, which even if you didn’t enjoy the end product, you have to admit at least tried to do something new and interesting.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
For me the trouble with Alien 3 is that taken in isolation? It’s a perfectly decent film.

Honestly, if they hadn't killed Newt, Hicks, and Bishop for like... no reason I feel like this movie's reputation would be very different. It would only be a middling film at best IMO, but it wouldn't have the hatedom it has. That mostly owes to the offing of beloved survivors of the much more popular and far superior second film for no reason but to not bring the actors back for another paycheck or something.

I loved the quadrupedal alien sooo much I can’t be objective about that film. It’s the spider-gremlin of aliens.


Tales From the Darkside: The Movie

My son wanted to watch a horror movie, which was all the excuse I needed to out this one on. It’s an anthology movie in the vein of Creepshow and Creepshow 2, but slightly, ever so slightly, more polished. I wouldn’t rate it as frightening as Creepshow 2, but it has a few scenes that will stick with you.

TFtDS:TM is also worth a watch if you enjoy That Guy-spotting. Just about every face in the movie is familiar to you if you watched a lot of stuff in the 90’s. Christian Slater and Rae Dawn Chong seem to have the most fun, and James Remar gives one of his best performances. Debbie Harry and that kid from all those 90’s shows bring a weird dark humor sitcom energy to the wraparound story.

The effects are both good and goofy, especially in the second story. If you like monsters and gore effects, the last story delivers.

That’s a movie I love, but haven’t seen in years.

Can’t seem to find it on streaming in the U.K. though, so will have to be a DVD job.


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Also, can anyone tell me the anthology horror movie, where one of the segments is a guy trying a hair transplants, but it turns out their tiny wee alien worm things?

The internet suggests

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Bags_(film)


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Cast including Debbie Harry, Sheena Easton and flipping Twiggy!

Sheena Easton? Punk Rocker! Sheena Easton! Punk Rocker!

There’s an ear worm for the aged.

Body Bags is on Tubi at the moment for free with ads. Probably other places as well.

Black Adam

A decent little action film (Although I admittedly have a much higher tolerance for the Superhero genre than the average person), the music choices were a bit of a poor fit and it's a shame that the Justice Society are just kinda there, but overall not as bad a movie as it's been made out to be.