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I still have to go through Ian Watson's Space marine book (which gave us 'ejaculating bolters' and boarding torpedos shot up tyranid spinchers and thoroughly list all of it's innuendo.

Did it really?

Now I HAVE to read them.

Thanks a lot, KK.

Normal is as normal does. Or sumthin like that. Anyway, its the normal ones that you have to watch. They worry me.

Although, all of this does add credence to those who think we should have female marines.

Ah, and don't forget the Baal breaker. 2 Baals with a vindicator in the middle to shoot explosive goodness into the enemy.

Dunno man, having fun reading the (supposed) subtext of the actions of manly bald men is one thing. Trying to make excuses to make a OMG GIRLS army when one already exists in another.

kid-kyoto wrote: High Marshell Helbrecht stepped from his drop pod, incense servitors surrounding him with the sweet manly musk of battle.
"Ah Brother Asmodi, for too long ve haff been apart!"
"Yes Brother Helbrecht, why I have not seen you since that night on Antiphon VI, when you penetrated the rear!"
"Ah yes! What I night that vas! Ve vere shoulder to shoulder, back to back, arm in arm, as true battle brothers! Often I haf told my scouts emulate your example! But none have measured up!"
"I too have missed your strong arm! Tell me, does your plasma pistol still throb with its hot, white fluid!"
"Aye it does, it longs to ejaculate its load. And see that even in its mighty sheath your long hard sword pulses with power, eager for release!"
"True, true, now let us retire to my tent to oil our weapons, gird our loins and plot angles of attack!"
"But vot off the battle brothers?"
"They shall forge anew the bonds of battle brotherhood though the ancient and time-honoured ritual of naked water polo!"
"Very vell!"

LMAO Thats why the guard has female troopers so this doesn't happen

Am not makin an argument for a girl army, per say. But you know as well as I do thta those battle sisters aren't puttin out. I just think that maybe the marines would be a bit more mentally balanced if they had female companions from time to time. :-D

Kid_Kyoto wrote:I still have to go through Ian Watson's Space marine book (which gave us 'ejaculating bolters' and boarding torpedos shot up tyranid spinchers and thoroughly list all of it's innuendo.

lol that was exactly the first thing i thought of when reading through this.

please exclude the horrible sex-scenes though, things like that dirty beetle wrapping itself around jaq´s lower uhm extremities

We DO call em' battle nuns for a reason.

malfred wrote:We DO call em' battle nuns for a reason.

So they are married to God.

The God Emperor of Mankind.

So the Sons of the Emperor are their step-sons.

So if a Space Marine and a Sister of Battle copulate...

Mother-Son incest has just occurred.


Sisters of Battle: MILFs of the 41st Millenium.

More like Luke and Leia.

Battle nun as in "none".

Guys, what do you think the initials SM stand for?

Kiss a Battle-Nun once,
Kiss a Battle-Nun twice,
Just don't get into the Habit..............

Smart....missiles?

"Our dark desires we SUb-li-mate
as we chant the li-ta-NEE of hate.
Emperor!
Emperor!
Gooood EMPEROR!"

Kid_Kyoto wrote:

dark-hamish wrote:Ok, I'm new here, so I won't say too much. But you guys make the bolter and chainsword bunch look normal.

The thing is B&C take this stuff seriously, you make fun of Azrael and they act like you insulted their mother.

Here at Dakka we have a bit of perspective and appreciate the inherent abusrdity of a game where angry bald men beat off other men.

Dear god in heaven...... tell me this was an 'innocent' statement.

Why do you think powerfists are so popular, bait?

I thank Jester for showing me the following dark history
of the Angels of Dark.

The Dark Angel

DARK Angel, with thine aching lust
To rid the world of penitence:
Malicious Angel, who still dost
My soul such subtile violence!

Because of thee, no thought, no thing,
Abides for me undesecrate:
Dark Angel, ever on the wing,
Who never reachest me too late!

When music sounds, then changest thou
Its silvery to a sultry fire:
Nor will thine envious heart allow
Delight untortured by desire.

Through thee, the gracious Muses turn,
To Furies, O mine Enemy!
And all the things of beauty burn
With flames of evil ecstasy.

Because of thee, the land of dreams
Becomes a gathering place of fears:
Until tormented slumber seems
One vehemence of useless tears.

When sunlight glows upon the flowers,
Or ripples down the dancing sea:
Thou, with thy troop of passionate powers,
Beleaguerest, bewilderest, me.

Within the breath of autumn woods,
Within the winter silences:
Thy venomous spirit stirs and broods,
O Master of impieties!

The ardour of red flame is thine,
And thine the steely soul of ice:
Thou poisonest the fair design
Of nature, with unfair device.

Apples of ashes, golden bright;
Waters of bitterness, how sweet!
O banquet of a foul delight,
Prepared by thee, dark Paraclete!

Thou art the whisper in the gloom,
The hinting tone, the haunting laugh:
Thou art the adorner of my tomb,
The minstrel of mine epitaph.

I fight thee, in the Holy Name!
Yet, what thou dost, is what God saith:
Tempter! should I escape thy flame,
Thou wilt have helped my soul from Death:

The second Death, that never dies,
That cannot die, when time is dead:
Live Death, wherein the lost soul cries,
Eternally uncomforted.

Dark Angel, with thine aching lust!
Of two defeats, of two despairs:
Less dread, a change to drifting dust,
Than thine eternity of cares.

Do what thou wilt, thou shalt not so,
Dark Angel! triumph over me:
Lonely, unto the Lone I go;
Divine, to the Divinity.

Lionel Johnson

If you want perversion in GW's latest novels read Firewarrior there's a chapter that starts something like
"Captain...?"
"Yes commander."
"Is it always this hard?"
"Sometimes... its even harder."
I remember flipping through firewarrior when a coworker was reading it and laughing so hard I had a few customers giving me odd glances.

Ok, I'll bite, what does SM stand for?

So I find that the gender disparity thread and this one are on a collision course. I think that maybe if we got the space marines and barbie together maybe we could solve a lot of problems. We all know that ken ain't gettin it done.

All we need is some 18+ female barbie collectors to show up and play with us. Hmmmm.....

That's quite the conundrum. However, I don't think you have to worry about marines in 5th edition. They'll have lots of opportunities to deep strike their land speeders and ram fellow marines from behind. With a drop pod to support it, it can even be called a "DP maneuver".

A DAemon Prince maneuver? That's heresy!

Sorry malfred, but I don't make the rules. Such activity is condoned and even suggested by the powers that be.

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Helbrecht the same way.

Alright, I think the subject matter is similar, so...

What's the deal with Leman Russ having a titanic struggle with a certain one-eyed monster called Prospero or Magnus the Red? I hope it means what I think it mean, because I like my space marines to be fighting Dune-like worms. From Dune. Like an interplanetary struggle.

Leman Russ, the primarch of the Space wolves, took his chapter to the planet Prospero, homeworld of Magnus and the Thousand Sons, because he was certain Magnus was corrupted by Chaos. There he, the most rugged, hairy, beefy primarch, wrestled with Magnus (which means "big", and who also is a RED CYCLOPEAN GIANT). Go figure. :p

Thanks man. I now revere the manly space marines even more. Because wrestling cyclopean giants must be hard and only real men can do it.

Yes, only real, rugged, muscular, oily, sweaty, hairy, meaty, beefy, big, strong and above all manly men!

I have 2 framed posters of manly, oily, muscular men put up in my room, so I know just what you're talking about.