Help Me Start a Country

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**Shadowbrand**

I've always wanted my own dictatorship, in a leftist communist regime. Viva La Shadowbrand!

**Gitzbitah**

You know, aboard TBD ship's privateers your word is law. A Captain is second only to whatever higher power you serve- I don't think we discriminate based on religion. It would also have more fresh air than any leftist communist regime. For all of that, you could sail aboard the HMTBDNP Leftist Communist Regime. Live out your dreams as a private contractor for our wonderful incipient nation!

Special Envoy Gitzbitah

**Orkeosaurus**

As soon to be Dictator For Life of the great nation of Tursbakistan, I will wage war on this island with my great armies of AK47 armed goat farmers.

I will never rest until your political structure resembles mine!

**dogma**

Who wants to take bets on how long this thing takes to go the way of Rapture?

**Orkeosaurus**

Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

**Ketara**

If it's a communist state, no. The Sweat on his brow belongs to the people!

**Orkeosaurus**

No says the man in the Vatican, it belongs to God!

**CadianXV**

"No! says the man in Washington", hence our glorious new nation!!!

My liege, I implore you to appoint me and a number of my associates as your personal anti-insurgent task force. With your warrant, we can prevent rebellions and/or enforce some degree of order on the pirates which may/or may not form the basis of our economy.

**Ahtman**

Let me know when you are going to post a thread titled "Help Me Collapse a Country".

**Gitzbitah**

Privateering is an ancient and noble basis for an economy. At one time, even the US owed 20% of its national income to privateering.

I second CadianXV's appointment to Minister of Order. Our privateers will need a firm hand to keep them from exceeding their mandate. I am far too busy taking my graft to police their indiscretions. It is a vastly superior alternative to my own disciplinary plan.

I intended simply to accuse a few of treason every now and again and sink them with the submarine you have so graciously provided. Fear will keep the others in line. My only explanation will be- 'they should have tried harder'.

**SilverMK2**

Perhaps have torpedos with sad faces painted on for sinking people who needed to try harder.

**Mercurial**

SilverMK2 wrote:
I also think that a mobile nation, such as a network of ships/subs would be a great idea. Even with the cost of buying old mothballed ships and patching up the hulls, you get a lot of volume for your money, plus the top deck for growing crops etc, and the ability to just park your country anywhere you want.

A raft of up to 5 old super tankers would not cost the earth (thought their upkeep would be a yearly drain on the nations finances) and could spend a lot of their time floating about chained together, or anchored somewhere nice and tropical.

After careful deliberation, this seems like the solution to a great many issues. We'll raise the capital and see how many old freighters this will buy, then work out how to put them together. I could instate nobility and put perhaps a duke in charge of each vessel. To keep things from getting out of hand there should probably be an elected official with administrative duties on each vessel. The thought briefly crossed my mind of establishing a sovereign flotilla, but it'd be too easy for political dissenters to just up and sail off with a fifth of the country.

Empchild wrote:I offer my services as a career soldier to this new endevour and vow should my lord let me to lead forth an army of conquest for you, and expand upon your lands in the hopes of being granted your grace for thus doing so....(and a couple of hookers, shhh don't tell my wife)

Excellent. All citizens will likely be required to train as militia, but a small but elite core of full-time military men will be our real strength.

Gitzbitah wrote:
I would be happy to serve as your administrator of privateering. As an island of idealist, there will be many nations we disagree with, and we will be a singularly unproductive nation. Thus, our only choice for trade will be to pillage and plunder. I will do this for free, as long as me and my offspring are granted a barony on your island. The gratitude of my pirat-privateers, sorry my liege, will be more than sufficient to sustain me.

You seem to have appointed yourself to a rather lofty position sir. I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.

As for the naming, I'm working on that. I am certainly open to suggestions. The Monarchy of TBD will serve for now.

Also, congratulations to dogma, Orkeosaurus and Cadian XV for winning your illustrious monarch $5. I had a bet with my roommate for how long it would take for someone to quote Bioshock.

**mattyrm**

5$ ALREADY?! Your well on your way mate!

**Empchild**

My lord we must take this $5.00 and place it towards our defense fund. I have a proposed way to lure people to our nation then force them into service for you. We promise a land of hedonism and once they are so doped up we shackle them in chains and force them to work the lands. FREE LABOR FORCE WOOT!!!!!!!!!

**Gitzbitah**

Thank you, my liege. I have sigged my appointment, so that all may know they speak with a Baron.

The tankers would be cheaper, and less likely to secede, if we were to purchase ships without engines. Your flagship could tow the others to our permanent anchorage, and then your reign could begin.

Empchild, there is a better way to attract a cheap labor force. We could actually be paid to shelter them. Two words- War refugees. Their homes have been destroyed, their countries are in turmoil, and they are probably already skilled at being poor and farming. As long as we maintain reasonable conditions and do not execute them without cause, we gain enormous intenational sympathy (and funding) and a population on the verge of citizenship.

It would also provide added security against military action- no one wants to kill helpless refugees or the people that care for them. The best type of human shield is a willing human shield that is actively trying to improve our country.

**IvanTih**

Your state will become the part of my Lord Moot 4chan empire.Praise the God Moot of mankind.

**Gitzbitah**

I was honestly more worried by God-King Peter's threats.

4chan holds an honored place in my navy, as my personal Angry Marines take their excellent camouflage colors from a creation of theirs. Sadly, I believe that any offensive action attempted by Lord Moot will inevitably grind to a halt. Replacing the battle plans and important reports with pictures of goatse is hilarious (or so I'm told) but does not encourage efficient military action. We shall continue to steal what little of value the site produces, and ignore the rest.

Speaking of which, if any 4chan media pirates are looking for legitimacy, I would be happy to authorize them to participate in the seizure of transmissions of enemy states- media privateers/spies are a natural evolution. PST for evites of marque.

**halonachos**

As a free thinker, I would give your country a week before all of the intelligent persons on your island nation become disgruntled and band together to remove you and your councils from power. I then give them a day before they begin infighting and your country is set on fire with igloos.

Your island will then sink into the ocean and people will remember it as the island that never was.
Unless you buy my new line of anti-igloo defense weapons.

**CadianXV**

An intelligent person would know that such action would invoke severe penalties from the Ministry of Order...

**IvanTih**

One nuke and your little country is over.

**Gitzbitah**

Oh, you can certainly destroy our surplus barges and our indentured war refugees. You may even get some of the higher ups who were foolish enough to live with the unwashed masses. Until you can nuke the entire sea, sir, there will still be a Monarchy of TBD.

As Baron of the Sea, all salt water bodies fall under my jurisdiction.

As Lord Marshall of Privateers, as long as there is a single ounce of international sympathy to exploit, my corsairs will plague shipping. That's the best thing about privateers- they only cost the operating country a piece of paper.

**Empchild**

DAMN!!!!!!! THE TALK TO WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

**GundamMerc**

It's a good thing I sell N-jammers which prevent nuclear reactions from happening. Buy now at for just 6 payments of 4 billion pounds.