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Orlanth wrote: The crazy I look for is unconventional, imaginative, playful and spontaneous and will hold those energetic virtues past her teenage years..

That sounds like a double-edged sword if I ever heard one. I certainly get what you mean--keeping the vivaciousness of youth whiel letting go of the angst, drama, and immaturity--and I fully agree it must be exceptionally rare.

JEB_Stuart wrote:I would have had to throw down some angry anti-Papist diatribe

No worries, old bean. I have quite a diatribe prepared against pagan worship of the state for when that day comes.

A crazy Nympho in her 20s, who loves me for the sick freak I am.

I kid.

But honestly, it'd be something along the lines of Shadowbrands answer.

IRL EF: a Slaanesh worshiper at heart.

I like someone who is nothing like me, hence why Kofi. He's so hot!

You did say it was Ideal Woman/Man btw.

@Manchu: EDIT Ah, feth. I just realised how sus that sounded. I meant that the gf would be an informer from the other side. Geez. XD

Besides even Commissars have alternate methods maintaining morale...

Edit: Didn't notice it was EF above me...

Damned Commissars, always trying to trick us somehow...

Apparently, I'm the ideal man for crazed women...

Lucky me...

I'm also just gonna raise my eyebrows and move along.

Soooo . . .

Cryonicleech wrote:Apparently, I'm the ideal man for crazed women...

To what dost thou refer?

Well, funny story.

Met a girl. Went out with her for a bit. Liked her, she liked me. Good right? Well, her best friend is CRAZY over me. And not the crazy in love thing, like the insane and scary type of in love. I mean, I had no clue when we talked, but recently, I've gotten some weird E-Mails...

Now I've apparently "broken her heart" and whatnot, and the whole situation makes me wanna reach for a beer.

Or 12....

Shadowbrand wrote:A crazy Nympho in her 20s, who loves me for the sick freak I am.

Go for one in their thrities. Way easier.

Hmmm. I have had the same problem funnily enough. My first kiss was from a Twilight fan. (I'd never heard of it). It turned into a bite on my neck, and i freaked out. I was (and still am) young and (maybe not still so) innocent! I didn't know what the feth was going on!

Cryonicleech wrote:And not the crazy in love thing, like the insane and scary type of in love.

Share with Dakka. We're here for you.

I actually had a similar thing happen once. Dated a girl for a while and then she dumped me. So I did what any reasonable high school male would do and started going out with another girl. Well the one who dumped me went off to college in the meantime and I started to get packages of mix CDs and other mementos ( . . . ) wrapped in colored tissue paper heavily sprayed with her perfume. Err . . . Well, I ignored these overtures. Ran in to her a few years later and she didn't mention it so neither did I. Kind of just chit-chatted and I thought about maybe trying to hook up (she seemed more normal, I was single) but she ended up passing out on my bed (and throwing up a pit on my pillow, gross) after a few drinks while I was playing darts in another room with friends.


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@EF: Biting (above the belt) is good.

I'll be sure to remember that the *next* time I find myself going out with a Twilight fan...(which, due to the prevalence of pale, shirtless vampire posters around, is very likely ^_^)

Absolutely freaky stuff.

See now, When I started going out with her friend, I wrote these poems of the romantic type, ya know, I tried something creative. Well, I was pretty sure some of her friends would get their hands on it or hear it from somewhere, so I wasn't surprised when she referenced it.

However, a few months in, and I'm talking to my girl pretty frequently. Of course, this includes her friends and my friends. I'm cool with it, but I noticed that more often than not, when her friends are all in a group she finds weird excuses to get me alone with her. (I.E. She offers to get some drinks, food when we were at the movies etc. and ALWAYS asked me for help.) It was during one of these "food runs" that she says some comment about how my girl's so lucky to have a guy like me, and that she always needed someone like me. I of course, took it as a compliment and nothing more.

Anywhoo, she kept rather silent, until recently, I was checking my E-mail, and she sent me some sort of message. Apparently, she refers to me as that "Romantic God" she's always looked for in a man. In essence, it was her pleading with me to return her "boundless love" or whatnot. I respectfully declined, telling her that whole "plenty o' fish in the sea" gag, but to little avail.

Now? She has an effigy of me that she is going to keep close to her on New Years, to remind her of "Her little poetic angel". For once in my life, I'm afraid to head back home from the Holidays and deal with this whole mess, but as the French say, Ce la vie.


P.S. Twilight girls all scare me, every time I see one I remind myself that I'll wake up with several bite marks on my neck...

While physical appearance is of great importance to me, I wouldn't say I have consistent preferences. No two girls I've ever dated have been remotely similar. It's also of utmost importance that she maintain said appearance; hence generally unkempt or poorly dressed is always a major turn-off for me. I don't lose interest in someone if I see them less dressed-up than usual, but it bothers me if they look like they don't even try.

Personality-wise, I value wit, intelligence and kindness most. I too despise girls who come across as pathetic and simpering; I like to be needed within reason, but she shouldn't need my help tying her shoes every morning. In that I suppose I prefer that rare type of woman who falls right in between strong/independent and sweet/needy. I've also found that someone who's always willing to listen to reason can be a joy to be with if you're willing to put logic above raw emotional appeals.

I daresay my current partner is as near perfect as can be. We've had some seriously rough times in the past but it gets easier with each passing day.

Well is she attractive?

She's drop-dead gorgeous... blonde hair, blue eyes, and she's pretty in a way that makes her stand out among crowds of would-be celebrity lookalikes.

....ah, you were asking Cryonic, weren't you? I seemed to have ninja'd you, my apologies.

And to the aforementioned, I'm terribly sorry. Have you tried garlic?

Not really, unfortunately.

I'll just wait 'till I get home in about 3-4 days, then we'll see where this goes.

However, let's not let my misadventures de-rail this thread.

Congrats, Owain. And no, no garlic as of yet.

mattyrm wrote:Woah some of you guys like Gingers?

Copulating with them is actually illegal in some parts of the UK.

If I weren't already married, and just out for fun, I've got nothing against a pretty redhead.

I live in America. I imagine pretty much any non-procreative sex that isn't in the missionary position is deemed illegal somewhere by somebody with smaller minds than their willies...

Owain wrote:She's drop-dead gorgeous... blonde hair, blue eyes, and she's pretty in a way that makes her stand out among crowds of would-be celebrity lookalikes.

....ah, you were asking Cryonic, weren't you? I seemed to have ninja'd you, my apologies.

And to the aforementioned, I'm terribly sorry. Have you tried garlic?

Cryonicleech wrote:Not really, unfortunately.

I'll just wait 'till I get home in about 3-4 days, then we'll see where this goes.

However, let's not let my misadventures de-rail this thread.

Congrats, Owain. And no, no garlic as of yet.

Wait. Who needs garlic? I think he meant me, Cyron.

You both mentioned these Twilight girls. What a strange time you guys are growing up in, btw.

I was referring to Cyron, but I suppose it would be of use to you both.

Thank goodness my girlfriend isn't a slavering fangirl. She's a fan of Pride and Prejudice.... and that in and of itself should sum up the type of woman I'm inclined to date.

I had a twilight fangirl follow me around for a while. Why does everyone think I'm a vampire?

Anyway, my ideal woman has to be able to talk to me for hours, which is really hard becuase most of my conversations end pretty quickly.

We have to like similar things, and we have to be able to make each other laugh. I want to be able to make her smile uncontrollably.

She has to be the type where I can be as romantic as I like, without her throwing up. I want to be able to tell her how beautiful she is, and have her reply by jokingly calling me insane. I want to be able to teaser her enough for her to call me an ass, so I can reply with "But I'm your ass" so she can then reply "I know "

She needs to be able to motivate me into getting a job. She needs to be almost as tall as myself.

Luckily, I happened to trip over her one day, and she is everything I've listed and more. It sucks that she moved to America...

Drk_Oblitr8r wrote:I want to be able to teaser her enough for her to call me an ass, so I can reply with "But I'm your ass" so she can then reply "I know "

I definitely read that as tazer.

Two of the three guys I've dated turned out to be creepy stalker types once I decided that no, this wasn't going to work (and for the record, I don't consider 1 or 2 dates leading someone on, merely testing the waters to see if you're vaguely compatible). The first male doesn't count, since he was murdered by a drunk driver who didn't give a damn about the deadly weapon a ton of fast moving metal can be. Okay, getting off my soapbox...

The one girl I've dated went well, of the 'nearly a year and the only person to ever get me to do fluffy and romantic (I don't do either). Then she had to move overseas and we drifted apart, but are still in the category of close friends.

I've never watched or read Twilight. I have no interest in it. But for some reason I cannot stand the thought of mouth to mouth kissing, not a fan of kissing in general, and instead I'll lick and nibble and bite. This does not seem odd to me. Although shoulders and much better to bite, just along the line of the collarbone and... err, give me a tic. *dives off to check the forum rules and if we're meant to be keeping this PG13*

... considering some of the other things in that respect *coughs* umm... *points to her army and favoured god and walks off whistling innocently*

I'm 12 years old, what is this?

(JK )

Emperors Faithful wrote:I'm 12 years old, what is this?

(JK )

The wonders of implying stuff... it tends to go straight over the heads of the small children (and some immature adults) and the ones that understand tend to be mature enough to handle it.

Well, that's the theory, which holds if it is done well. A lot of people fail in the second bit. (Not excluding myself there, at least some of the time.)

Okay. Here was my stage of understanding.

Paragraph 1:
Yep. Understood this. It happens. A bit wierd with the car crash descrtiption but meh.

Paragraph 2:
Okay, so....Wait....wut?

Paragraph 3:
Not a twilight fan = Good. But then...

Paragraph 4:
Sorry. I was still recovering from reading Paragraph 3.

*smirks evilly* Feeling a little... confused... there? Muahah!


(Re: Paragraph 1: He was walking home, a drunk driver hit him with a car. Sorry, I'm still a wee bit upset with said driver and drunk drivers in general... /sarcasm)

Is the guy in jail? (not the BF, the drunk driver)


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PM me. Let's not derail the thread.