The first pic on the imperial guards is good, but oddly the ones that follow which are supposed to be of superior quality seems to fall a bit flat for me. The messy misspelt script on the tank actually ruins the model for me.........
Don't intend to discourage you in starting a commission business, but would agree with agnosto and spartanlegion that you might need to be much more proactive in showcasing your skills and also present your business more clearly and properly. The thing is there are so many painting services out there already in the market. You really need to show people why they would wish to choose your services over some others. Your blog was supposed to showcase your work, yet there's only one entry and that was in July 2010??? At the very least, you should attach some more photos of your recent work to this thread.
Also, if you think a photo was crappy and it could not fully show the quality of the paint job you've done on the models, then don't submit it as part of your ad. If you show any pics as part of your pitch for getting business in, they should be the cream of the crop, and preferably gives the potential customer a wow factor. The danger is that people would think If you cannot even be bothered to take the time to produce a good quality photo of your own work, how could they trust you to paint their models for them? It's like a candidate handing in a
CV printed on crumpled paper with typos to a potential employer.
As spartanlegion has pointed out, you should also state clearly your credentials or experience in painting and also set out clearly how the whole process would work if someone were to engage your services. Without any of these details, not sure if you'll get any business.
I hope you won't take offense on the comments above, but all I really want to say is that starting a business is real tough

, especially in a market where there's a lot of competition, and you really have to be prepared and think through a lot of issues before diving right into it.