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* PURGED FROM RECORD***
++++ Records of Grand-Marshal Hennet of the 3rd army++++
****PURGED FROM RECORD****

[i]Grand-Mashal, We requested backup three days ago, and I hope to the emperor you haven't sent it yet. The people who did came....They came from the sky... we had no idea... The orks were almost upon us... I looked up to the sky for help... hoping... by throne.... we thought they were on our side... they chopped through everything, the orks, my platoon died within the first minute. Please send no troops here, i repeat, there will be no one here to meet them once they find the rest of us...

***Transmission Ends***



HostLord Freneau sat upon the crashed remains of the ork battlewagon. He wiped his blow. Around him marines ran about preparing a rushed base completely with home made communication array. Freneau would never work without some soft of base to rely on. The scouts would practice their stealth abilities in attempting to outdo each others attempts to make their new hideout invisible to all, even if you walked right into it. Freneau was always proud of the speed in which his team could always be ready for their new campaign.

He looked around the ruined city streets. He had only landed on Hork for a few minutes and he could already see how it had once been a beautiful forgeworld. The sculptures and paintings that greeted each inch of each building were vivid with detail. They made the view feel as if he was living in history. History, Freneau sighed, A clay meant to be molded. And at the moment Freneau had to make sure it didn't go along the wrong path.

He had told the strikeforce that they were here to fight orks. They howled in hunger, Orks had been a large pest of late and it seemed everyone who entered the system wanted to watch ork blood spill. The Sky-Wardens had had there share of orks, and they were sick of the devastation they had witnessed. Freneau had not told them the truth. They were here for a much greater reason, The Sky-Lord himself told Freneau about the mission at hand, the importance didn't need to be told, Freneau understood. He assembled a large strikeforce, almost every veteran in the company, as well the most highly trained marines and scouts. His only pity was that his honor guard, lead by Brother-Champion Ondatje were upon Mil'dar on chapter business. Freneau wished he could have joined them, but this mission took all his attention.

He didn't want to be here. The planet was full of Imperial forces and it felt like a waste to have his expertise on a planet with 10 or more space marine strikeforces and 1000s of regiments almost ready to strike the heart of the ork invasion. Freneau wanted to be on a battleground where victory wasn't so close, where he would earn it. But Host-Lord Kiail decide to murder an entire company of imperial forces, and The Sky-Wardens had to handle it before the inquisition did. The Sky-Wardens would not be told they can't control their own brothers. Freneau snarled, his fist was clenched in anger. In a burst of fury he drew his power sword. He sprang up, his eyes blazing, in one clean swoop he sliced the lamp-post. He calmly sidestepped as the top end of the lamp-post crashed. A few heads turned, but no one stopped. He breathed heavily.

"Sir, a report of an attack on Imperial forces!" The marine barked quickly, holding a slip from the recently set up com-link, "they said the enemy attacked from.."
"The sky." Freneau cut in.
The marine nodded slowly.
"Prepare the troops, we move out now!"

Ok Here is one thing I think you should fix the God part replace it with throne or emperor be praised. God is not worshiped by any race.

Anyway good job. Love how there are 10 Strike forces. D:

ehh forgot that! thanks!

with Gitsplitta wonderful edits, as well as a few additions of my own, I have edited the story of Sergeant Korn! Thanks to Gitsplitta for giving me really great edits!

de nada bro.

I will be posting more in a few days, but I have a modeling question

I plan to have my one walking/regular dred, as mentioned a few posts back, to be a gift to a Sky-Warden marine crippled in battle during an action under the command of the deathwatch. I was thinking of having a back banner on the dred, or carried by a "squire" model, that has the marine's old deathwatch armor. I was wondering what people thought of this.

I also was wondering if anyone had any idea where to get deathwatch pads, thou i only need one so don't really want a whole pack (if anyone has one to trade that would be great) and also how customizable is the dred set? I have only painted and used AOBR dreds, and i plan to get the venerable dred since it looks boss like. But i was thinking of having room for maybe a "squire" like model to hold the banner, (i'm not really down with it being on the dred's back, i don't know why) and want to have one of the dred's legs standing on a rock or something to leave room for this model. Is this something I can do with the dred set, or would it require converting and cutting up the legs?

Asherian Command wrote:Ok Here is one thing I think you should fix the God part replace it with throne or emperor be praised. God is not worshiped by any race.

Anyway good job. Love how there are 10 Strike forces. D:

You can actually call him the God Emperor. Certain chapters believe him to be divine, but not many.

THIS IS THE NEW EDITED VERSION.

of course edited for content not always grammar.I have trouble finding grammar issues!

LordHost Freneau hovered for a second over the crashed towers of the city square. Flashes shone through the dull grey streets. Freneau could see the lasgun shots clearly; they almost seemed like little fireflies. Freneau couldn’t see who they were firing at though, the ruins seem desolate save for the few small figures shining their lasgun into the empty ruins. Freneau sighed, they had been too late.

He flew a little further, landing on top of the last standing tower. He gazed below him where a courtyard lay. A statue of some hero stood in the center. Freneau was too high to see who the statue was memorializing, but he had seen many of these courtyards, they were all over Hork. He had never heard of this planet before the orks came, so it always made him smirk when he thought of all the heroes that they had glorified. How could a planet who he never heard of have so many heroes?

He squinted. It took him a few moments to full grasp the horror which resided within the courtyard.

There were mounds of Imperial bodies.

He shuttered. He had seen bodies before, he had seen some of the most horrific images in the world but this was worse. What made it worse wasn’t the bodies themselves, it was the fact that Freneau had called Host-Lord Kiail his brother. Freneau hoped to by throne that Kiail had no part in this, but his gut told him Kiail had done this. Freneau had learned to trust his gut.

“Sergeant Selve, Send your squad towards those Imperial forces. Find out what happened, and keep them within eye sight at all times.” Freneau splattered into his vox.

“Yes HostLord” The muffled voice of Sergeant Selve came through faintly on the vox. Freneau could sense the annoyance in Selve’s voice. Selve was a newer sergeant, not nearly as old or as experienced as Freneau. These newer marines were still sucking on the nipple of heroism. They had dreams of heroic speeches before battle, of being reminded their fight was above any other Imperial Servant; that their fight was for the God-Emperor and the Sky-Wardens. Freneau used to give such speeches, but the more he ended up being around their leader, The SkyLord, he had started to find such speeches to be needless. A Sky-Warden marine should know why they fight; they shouldn’t need to be reminded. So Freneau made sure his orders were always direct and to the point. He wasn’t one for flowery speech.

“Sergeant Stone, and Initiate-Sergeant Terrell come join me in the courtyard, it is two clicks from my current position. Charge the plasma.” Freneau yelled into his vox, before soaring down towards the bodies.

He closed his eyes for a second, feeling the pressure of the wind around him. He had grown up flying; his youth was full of crack-pot designs for homemade jetpacks and small hover bikes. He loved the sky, it was his home: a home he found on every planet, each with its own bit of personality. Every time he flew he took at least some moment to enjoy it, since for all he knew it could always be his last flight.

But this time the joy wasn’t as easy to grasp.

He wished he didn’t have to be here.

It was the first time in his life that he wanted to be elsewhere. Ever since he became a marine he took pride in his role as a warrior of the emperor’s wraith, he knew this was what he wanted to do, he never felt a longing for any other life. He felt honored to be considered good enough to be the defender of humanity. Even when he started to feel the effects of the Red Thirst he still felt joy in his position. When he was a Brother-Champion and preformed the last rights to his previous HostLord, he almost cried from watching his HostLord crazed from the black rage. Yet still nothing had made him regret any moment of his life, every time he took pride in his role.

Now though was different. This was the first time he ever felt betrayed. It choked his heart; it took all his strength to keep himself contained. He could feel anger howling within like an inner demon. He wrenched his power sword from his belt, and switched it on. It hummed slightly in his hand, he gripped it into submission.

He hit the ground with a loud thump; dirt flew around him then slammed to the ground as he quickly shut his jump-pack off. He looked up at the statue that over-shadowed him. When he was above the statue it seemed like an ant, now it towered over him. “Jacob Cohen, Imperial General of the 420th Hork Titan legion”, Freneau quickly put it to memory. This was an important day, and anyway there is never a time you can’t learn something new. Freneau had a sick feeling this would be a day he would never get out of his mind.

He slowly looked about him. He could see the orange armor, and blue clothes of the Turok regiment that had been slaughtered. There banner had been thrown upon one of the heaps. Freneau glanced at it, 11th Turok regiment. The Turok were a strong race, if Freneau had a choice he would recruit all his men from such a world, unluckily they accepted no marines. They sent their boys directly to the stormtrooper academy. It was a pity to see such honorable men die this way: butchered. Freneau guessed it did show the efficiency of the Sky-Wardens. He couldn’t assume that traitors from his chapter did this. There was no proof, yet.

He swirled around. His sword was braced in front of him. He swore he heard something. Silently he scanned the ruins behind him: they were dull and blank. Nothing seemed to be about. The battle was over, they may never know if this was done by traitors or orks, they had come too late.

He could hear the padded footsteps of Initiate-Sergeant Terrell’s scout squad approaching. He knew the tap of their footsteps all to well. Behind them came the thuds of Sergeant Stone’s assault squad. Freneau turned to meet them. Terrell’s squad lurked among the shadows and corners of the ruins, their weapons at the ready. Terrell was adjusting the scope of his bolter. Sergeant Stone on the other hand stood out like the sun, his bright red armor he had carefully oiled and glazed the night before shone in the bright lights of the lamp-posts which populated the roads as if they were trees in a forest. Stone stood tall, his powerfist hanging limply by his side, while his other hand twitched slightly, his men responded to his encoded message. They quickly flew into the air, finding perches upon old cracked balconies, thrashed electronic billboards; one found a place nestled between two rooftop angel statues. Their red armor stood out, but their perches were out of view, in places which kept every angle of the courtyard in sight and made sure no one person could see all of them. This was a tactic Stone was famous for, his men had trained for years upon the lava mountains of their homeworld, learning the best way to determine how to hide in plain sight. Stone himself never hid, he was the bait in a sense, the one who drew the enemy near so that his warriors could surround them and purify the enemy with flame and sword.

“Search the area for any signs of attackers.” Freneau barked, Stone smiled: he could hear the small tinge of pride within Freneau harsh voice. It was the best compliment Stone could get.

Stone nodded slowly, his head slowly rotating; the bionic eye implanted into his helmet scanned the darkness surrounding the courtyard. Down in the ruins it was hard to tell that it was daytime: it was always a constant night.

Freneau flipped his jump pack on; he leaped into the air, soaring upwards. He hovered up their, looking through the upper levels of the buildings huddled around the courtyard.

He knew they couldn’t be alone.

EDITED FIRST PART, BASICALLY AN ENTIRE REWRITE!! PLEASE READ!

“It is my birthday today.” The voice echoed among the confines of the factory hallway, the rafters shook.

Sergeant Selve muttered something under his breath, trying to crawl his way past the Dreadnought that took over the entirety of the hallway, and who had just told everyone within a half mile, that it was his birthday. Selve was not thrilled with being placed alongside this mighty being.

“Is it now?” Selve grimaced at the thought of what must be going through Deckard’s, the dreadnought’s, mind.

It wasn’t hidden knowledge that the chaplains and sanguinary priests kept both their eyes on Deckard ever since he came back from the Deathwatch. In any other chapter Selve was sure Deckard would be locked up, put someplace where he wouldn’t be a hassle with his decaying mind, but the SkyLord took a strongly liking to Deckard, and so Deckard was free to travel where he would, join whatever company suited his fancy. It seemed like a sick joke to a dying old man to Selve, but Selve never really understood the entombment of a mighty warrior into a dreadnought. It seemed more like a curse: being stuck in a metal shell where you would never feel the sky, the act of flying, ever. Death would be better than that!
Selve might not have minded if he had been accompanied by Gerrod, or Calius, both quiet somber dreadnoughts, and both were in the Speeder Mark X armor, which allowed the to soar with their comrades on huge jets which bloomed with black smoke and tar.

Deckard was a normal dreadnought; he hadn’t even been entombed by his own chapter! Selve wasn’t even a scout when Deckard finished his time with the Deathwatch, but Selve had heard the stories. Deckard was said to be destined to become one of the greatest HostLords, his tactical mind was said to be legendary, his chainsword swifter than even the SkyLord himself. He was one of the most honorable and noble high-brothers, and he was known at times to serve on the SkyLord’s own personal bodyguard.

But then the orks came into the sector. The Waaagh of Deathskull warboss Karz! tore planets apart, it took decades to take them back, and when they were taken most were just barren rocks. The Sky-Wardens were not use to fighting orks, their tactics were made for lightening strike raids of elite sections of the enemy army. The ork mobs were a scary sight for the marines, most who had only seen orks in their holograph training excersies. The Sky-Wardens are a ever-changing chapter, like the wind, and they grew to learn how to fight the orks.

This is all old history though, these are the events that made Deckard decide to join the Deathwatch in the hope he would come back with new knowledge to help his chapter. Selve gazed up at the black and red armored being: look at how he came back.

Selve didn’t know what exactly maimed Deckard, or what he did which made the Inquisition gift him with a dreadnought body. Whatever it was it must have been epic. Selve wished he could gain that much esteem. Though Selve would hope that whatever he did wouldn’t ensnare him in a metal cast and scramble his brains.

“It is my birthday Sergeant! I plan to have some funs with the orks tonight!” Deckard rumbled, “I remember the last time I saw them, oh there was hoards of them! It was beauty getting rid of such foul beasts.”

Selve could hear one of his squadmates snicker, Selve quickly gave the marine a glare. Selve didn’t want to get Deckard upset. Who knows what an upset crazy dreadnought would do!
Deckard slowly move towards the bent up garage door that led to the street. His steps now seemed calmed, slower, as if he was attempting to be silent.

Selve quickly slipped between Deckard’s massive legs, drawing his chainsword, he carefully got ready to switch it on. With a flick of his wrist he motioned for two of his marines, Idiak, and Quire, to move towards the right flank. With a small bird like caw which vibrated from his helmet he gave the order for a cautious advance.

Deckard though ignored these orders. He seemed to stand up taller, his chestplate seemed to burst forward almost like a hen about to caw. He then marched out of the garage. Selve had to quickly roll out of the way in order to not get pushed over by Deckard’s assaulting legs. Selve made a mental note to make sure next time he fought alongside Deckard he could keep himself within the confines of the sky rather than under the hulking being’s legs.

“The wraith of the God-emperor smites all the unpure. The holiness of the almighty throne grants healings to those who have faith in it.” Deckard preached, Selve could feel himself gasp, it had been years since he had heard anyone preach from Lectures on Faith and War, it was an old tomb, the writer unknown, the only copy found upon Mil'dar a century ago.
Deckard leaned back, shaking the dirt and rubble off of his back, and gazed up at the sky. Selve could feel the fear of the Imperial Guardsmen he knew were cowering nearby.
“I have seen you, I had known you.” Deckard went on to complete the last two versus, “You had once been clean, I now pronounce you…” The last words were drowned out by the clatter of Deckard’s assault cannon as it let loose a full round into the sky.

Selve busted out of the factory, switching his chainsword on as he scrambled for his bolt pistol. Rubble and dust rained down upon his helmet as Deckard’s assault cannon ripped holes into the steel walls that encircled the road. Selve motioned for a defensive barrier, as he powered his jump-pack on. Selve, as well as the four other members of his squad flashed upon, they hovered around Deckard, attempting to see his target.

Selve then saw it, he barely had time to react, “Traitors in the sky!” He screamed, his voice almost silenced by Deckard’s next round of assault cannon shells. This time they found their mark. An armored figure dropped down, its body once full of life, now limps as Deckard’s assault cannon blew two perfectly round holes into its chest.

Selve span to the side just barely being able to avoid the body that smashed into the ground.

“Marine” Deckard muttered.

“Traitor” Selve spat. He had came here to find orks, and instead he found traitors falling from the sky like hail.

“Behind you!” Idiak yelled, his voice horse under his rebreather.

Selve flew up, letting his jump-pack fly him upwards. He looked below to see what could have been a marine, at some point. The being wore bright orange power armor, its large Imperial eagle almost scratched off. The man’s jump-pack was scratched and burnt. The man’s face was bare, if one could call it a face. It seemed more like a wolf than a human face. The creature’s bloodshot eyes glared up at Selve before it let loose a long howl, showing yellow fangs.

Selve brought his chainsword down upon the creature, but he was too slow, or was the horror too fast? The power armored traitor’s chainaxe deflected the blow easily. The traitor grinned, his mouth spread a bit too wide for a human face. Selve shuttered, for some reason he felt like he recognized the face. Selve stumbled back, tried to regain control of himself.

Deckard threw his blood fist out, trying to grab at another of the flying marines, but the marine remained just out of reach, his bolt pistol firing rounds which barely scratched Deckard’s armor.

The rest of the squad was having similar trouble. Selve could see Idiak caught in a stranglehold from another of the marines. Their weapons were gone, and one of their jump-packs had been punctured by a combat knife. They flew about in a crazed dance, swirling smoke trialing about them. Idiak’s helmet was gone and Selve could see fear in his eyes.

Quire was firing bolt rounds into each traitor he saw. One of the traitors attempted to strike him from behind, but he quickly span around and put a bolt into the traitor’s head.
The man floated there for a little bit as if in a state of shock. Blood started to gush out of the crater in his head along with yellowish puss which trickled down his cheeks. Quire fired anther round, this time aiming for the jump-pack. His shot hit the energy cell, causing a small explosion. Blood and bits of power armor splattered across Deckard’s assault cannon arm.

Selve was momentarily distracted by the events around him, they almost seemed unread to him. He had never seen traitor marines before; he had expected them to look less
like Imperial marines. He expected older suits of armor, and more chaotic symbols. He expected twisted limbs, and tentacles growing from their heads. The armor these marines wore seem oddly similar to Selve’s own armor, same mark. Bolt fire echoed within Selve’s ears and he tried to reorient himself. He turned back towards the traitor marine he was fighting only to see his leg sweep out, in a wide graceful arch, smashing into Selve’s ankles and throwing him off balance. He span out of control. He tried to grab the switch of his jump-pack and bring himself back to a better bearing. Another blow smashed into his chest, it pierced his armor and he felt his powerful lungs wheezing for oxygen as the enemy chainaxe ripped a gash across his chest.

Selve clenched his fist tightly, and threw a vicious right hook that connecting, snapping the traitor’s head back with the force of the blow. He could feel his body attempting to clot the newly formed wound. Blood slowly dampened his armor. He brought his chainsword forward, his mind whirling with various attacks and counter-attacks. The traitor regained his footing with ease, his jump-packing letting out a small crackle as he slowly circled Selve.

“Look at you, a god among men!” The traitor smiled, “And all you do is follow some cripple on a chair.”

Selve could feel the anger boiling inside of him, Selve could handle anger, he had been taught how to withhold it. Anger was a stepping stone towards the black rage. But this anger invaded not only his body but his spirit. The traitor smiled, he lightly tossed his chainaxe from hand to hand.

“You praying?” It scoffed.

That was the last straw, Selve let out a breathing roar and charged.

That writing wasn't great, really need to go over it! I have some ideas of how to do that and will edit it within the next day or two before I add in more!

it was ok.

Little bit of clean-up and it'll be fine Sage. Action is tough to do.

yeah, I also stayed up all night doing homework and work on this throughout the night. I can tell when I was getting a little deranged from the lack of sleep and the writing gets sloppy. I am working on it now, and should have a better verison. I knew that it was sloppy when I posted it but I thought maybe someone may see something which was wrong with it that I may not have. I plan to look through it and really rework it and repost over that one, so be ready for it!

I EDITED AND FIXED the first one!! Will fix up second one soon! That one wil take longer, it has a ton more issues. Tell me if you think the new ones work out better?

Smoother read Sage. good start.

Just added an edited version of the first part.

Good!

nice! working on the next part of that last one inbetween homework haha, should have it up by sunday evening at the latest.

i may start posting up the few models I've started paint of the army here until i start getting money to build my actual army I plan to use for torties and such, and these extra models will start to make units for when i bring the army for 3000 done to start a true P&M blog

I am deleting the posts which were not edited since they were prettynot up to standard and I really think I need to go into a new direction withthem. The edited versions will still be up!

PLEASE READ NEXT PRE-WRITE!

Please read this part, I am going to write a large post, and would like to give a brief explaination so that people can read the parts they are most interested in rather than not read it or read the whole thing (would love if read whole thing thou!). I want to try to explain what I am trying to do and how I view this project, I know not too many people are following it so maybe it isn't entirely needed to have a "philosophy statement", as my professor would call it, for the purpose of this blog, but I deem it important for myself and hopefully will breed some insight into this fiction as well as to myself, def to those who are my "friends" on dakkadakka, which to me means we tend to follow each others topics, and ask each other for advice through PMs or on each other blogs. If I can call such people friends then I shall, I mean they are much more productive then facebook friends, and there called friends when they should be called, may know this person, anyway! my tangents got to get a hold of them! its totally beca....THere starts another one! damn! control sageheart! don't let the tangent rage take ahold of you!

enough sillyness, so here will be the layout:

Question: This will be a few questions i have for my readers, would love responses on these of any sorts (constructive thou!).

Purpose: This is vaguely a general idea of why I am writing this fiction. Not really why I made this chapter, or fluff. On that it was just an idea to play with a all jump pack army instead of my mob/tank orks, blob/vet IG, and occasional vet/points-in-useless-things SM army. The fluff came afterwards and is very different than previous fluff so i went with it as an experiment and as expanding my 40k worldview i guess. This section will show my purpose with this fiction in some vague sense.

Plans/Ideas/Thoughts On, The Characters: Here are my ideas of the future of the stories. I won't give plot things away since I like to have those come up over time and also since I am still unsure, I am much more into characters and their interactions then plot stuff which is something i'm dealing with here since it needs a central plot, I am making one! I swear! Since I am really into characters I am trying to make an image of Space Marines (I guess Blood Angels Successor chapter in particular, but really just Space Marines as a whole) which I like and escapes the pretty emotional weak version of the space marine as just a outrageously powerful, silent, religious warrior-monk/protector with a few quirks. Of course that description is highly important to the concepts of the space marine, but I want to make them more "human" I guess, or at least more capiable for me to write in emotions, thoughts, interests, etc. More individual and exciting to me. I also have ideas on my chapter here and things I wish to portray and would like to know now, and even more importantly later when I start to inculde more stories with more of these ideas, if any of this comes out and advice upon how to do it, or other ideas that could work with mine, or you believe should be thought of.

A Little About Me: this is just a bit about me, a little about where I am coming from and a bit about what I feel like I could and hopefully will gain from this blog!

Thanks again, now onwards ready readers!

-WARNING- LONG PART APPROACHING NOW! (hopefully previous one wasn't longer....)

Question: I wanted to ask everyone what people thought of the main characters so far, notably the drednought, Deckard (I had to have a Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep/Bladerunner reference no matter how slight.), as well as HostLord Freneau. Also which characters come out the strongest, which you want to hear more about, etc.

I also was wondering what ideas people had for traits or gear, or personalities which you believe would be within a chapter such as the Sky-Wardens. Do the ones I have give a good feeling of the chapter, if so what comes out, and if not what is missing? These are just questions that came up in my head! Most important to me is how the chapter and characters seem to you because I have some predisposed ideas of how they are, want to make sure at least some of them are seeping through!

Purpose: Thou i am posting my fiction here for others to read and enjoy: I also see this as a great time to receive feedback on my writing, not just grammar, but things about how i write my characters and construct my stories: what works, what doesn't, etc. This is my first time writing fan fluff save for some story-esque character background or army fluff. I am using this as an experiment on many fronts. I am writing this for fun and to expand on my chapter, but also to experiment writing with something which is entirely new to me and to see how it goes and what i can play with and learn. My personal writing is different than this, there are no battles in most, a few in some, and it is very character centered and always 1st person and have very complex and focused philosophical statements and meanings interweave into the work. I also want to try to find a way to include meanings into the work, but this will prob only focus on comments on the 40k world much like BL 40k fiction does. I'm not about to start using 40k fluff as a way to make social commentary to the rest of the world!
The writing also keeps me sane since I haven't really been able to work on any new personal writing due to schoolwork, my other works which constantly need more edits, and many of my new ideas for my next project are still WIP or incomplete. This allows me to write something which i enjoy and can easily think of in boring classes or before bed SO! back to point! I would love comments either through PM or on here and would LOVE people to be harsh as long as they are constructive. It can be from 40k fluff issues to grammar issues, all the way to issues or compliments to my writing style, ideas, displays of emotions, etc

Plans/Ideas/Thoughts On, The Characters: I want to have a very strong feeling of a generation gap among the chapter, I don't have a reason for it yet, though I have some ideas. My plan is, over time, to show the older officers, Sergeant Stone, the HostLords, and the SkyLord (That's my chapter master eqv.) himself to be kinda mysterious, but mostly be from a distinct other generation, most importantly in their minds rather than necessarily having actual ones. I do want the younger generation to be more focused on tech somewhat. I plan to show this all moreso as my story goes on. I also want there to be a stronger sense of pride among the younger generation, the younger generation being mostly marines and scouts, with a few sergeants and veterans being of that generation.

I also want the decisions of the SkyLord to be almost mysterious, and very aloof at times. this also is meant to be apparent in HostLord Freneau as well as other HostLords, but it is meant to be even moreso with the SkyLord. This will be expanded upon in due course. I want to try to show some of their decisions, def the skylord in particular, seem to be unthougthout, not stupid or rash, or things which cause a awful or negative things to happen, but ones that seem to have no reason save maybe some unknown quirk or preference or knowledge that the reader and the younger generation do not have. The reason for this will come out in due time.

A Little About Me: Just thought it would be nice for me to give a bit about myself, not a huge bio, but just thought it could give me some insight. I am a young white male, 6'2... just kidding. Most of what I wanted to say were said above somewhere. Mostly I'm a literature major, been playing 40k since I was 14, so 5-6 years, played warhammer and LoTR since I was 12, stopped playing those two games around 15, 40k interested me a lot more. I am trying to double major in creative writing and tend to write science fiction character focused novelettes which focus on interactions between characters with a very loose plot thou it is def there. Been dying to really flush out my own SM chapter, and I'm finally doing it. I have some IG fluff stories written I may throw in here, but I think I want to try to include them somehow, may have to edit them since they are in 1st person thou i think thats what makes them interesting.

So there it all is. hope you enjoyed! will get other stuff up soon! gah, that took a lot of time away from my homework, got to go back to essay writing!!! I spent way too much time planning this out, hope it shows... at least a bit

I really like it Sage.
I think Deckard is a good character, and I chuckled at the thought of a crazed Dread bellowing, "Its My Birthday today!"
Two things, Do Space Marines even remember their birthdays? And I think rather than seeing fear in the helmet less marine's eyes, he should see anger or something, because Space Marines "Shall know no fear" and all that junk

For gear for your chapter, I kinda imagined Iron-Man style boosters in their hands to better navigate themselves while flying, since their are such a heavily sky-bound chapter. I'm not sure how it would work however.

im trying to not really reference his actual official birthday, this was going to come in time. I was thinking more of it being the day he was "born" into his newly aquired drednough armor. I feel like that could be seen better in the previous piece which i didnt like much, and in the newpieces you read i think the writing and plot/characters are much better but that concept didnt come out too much!

yeah, i agree with the fear thing i will prob go bak and change that soon!
boosters sound dope, dunno how exactly to include that, maybe as a way for scouts to train for jump-pack fighting?

I have an idea!
You know on terminators how that have that big thing on their gauntlets hooked to a wire?
What if all the marines had those, and they were boosters of some sort. They could still use weapons with them, because they wouldn't be on their palms.

Did you get the name Deckard from diablo 2?!?!?!
Deckard Cain anyone?

Too funny...

Gitsplitta wrote:Too funny...

Stick in it your stash
Also, Sage, how do you like my idea for the wrist boosters?

No its Deckard from Bladerunner

i really do like your idea of boosters but im unsure where to place them yet since i have the marines having their gear already cant really add it to normal marines now, so thinking if it should be a special weapon type thing, or a scout think, or a vet gear. What do you think? make sense?

Hmm, maybe Vets. Sine you are going to have to chop up some termies, I suggest the AoBR ones, since they are easy to get.

i may try to do it with a wire of somesorts and find a way to make a homemade version. Maybe make them look homemade as if the marines themselves made them out of spare parts and such before a battle.

wil be starting the actual full scale army in a while, but i do think it'll be full of conversions so i can really focus on my modelling skills and try to really improve them!

Also, I suggest painting skull white, and then yellow, unless Im think the wrong chapter of yours...