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Awesomesauce. Pure, spicy awesomesauce.

In the words of our good friend Spock:



that is all....

I almost died laughing at the "F*CK YOU!" part.

Tim the Biovore wrote:I almost died laughing at the "F*CK YOU!" part.

I showed it to some friends irl, and they all burst out laughing at the same part. Hmm, Once I finish part 3, I'll probably post this on /tg/

The long awaited part three is finally here! (well, I'm going to be writing it now so...whatever. Sorry for the wait, I've been making a Badab War Diorama)

The four Gods of Chaos; Khorne, Slaanesh, Tzeentch, and Nurgle stood next to the massive combined form of the Daemon primarchs.The forces of Chaos and the forces of the Imperium stared at each other for a moment, they the battle begun in full. In a moment, the Emperorator-ator was lashing out at the Daemons with sword and axe, arcs of lightning coursing from the emperor onto the combatants. the Emperor and his Sons fought hard, but there was no way they could defeat the combined might of the four Brothers of Chaos and the traitor primarchs, unless there was someway to turn them against each other. However, as the Emperor mused on this idea, the titan was struck by a bolt of energy, knocking it to its knees. Khorne scoffed at the Emperorator-ator, and strode forward, lifting his axe to strike down the Emperor once and for all. The Space Marines and Imperial guard watched in horror, fearing the worst. Khorne drew back his axe, and swung, the very fabric of reality tearing as the blade passed through. The titan lifted an arm in a futile attempt to protect itself. A blinding light flashed.

When the dust cleared, the titan was unscathed. Khorne stared in confusion, looking at his hand. "My axe is GONE!" He bellowed.
Tzeentch looked at him, 'Gone? That would have taken some sort of tactical geni....CREEEEEEEEED!" All the assembled forces looked up. The Axe was stuck, blades in the ground. Standing on the top, was one badass, Cigar-chompin' mother F*cker. Slowly, Creed reached up and removed his cigar, tapping it and letting the ashes drift down. Looking up at the Deamons, he smiled. "Problem, Khorne?"

Khorne bellowed in anger, preparing to run forward when Tzeentch held him back. "I'll deal with him..." Tzeentch screeched as he prepared a massive bolt of energy. Creed continued to smoke his cigar, waiting. Tzeentch unleashed the bolt of energy at Creed, and a second blind light flashed.

When the dust cleared, the axe was gone. In its place, ashes. Everyone was silent. Jared Kell whispered, "No...not Creed..." Suddenly, the silence was broken by a loud, slow clap. Everyone looked up and saw Creed standing beside the Emperor. "Nice shot. I was expecting it."Creed said, smiling again.
Tzeentch was enraged at his mistake, but not as enraged as Khorne. 'YOU DESTROYED MY AXE" he bellowed, grabbing his borther by the throat in an attempt to strangle him.
Slaanesh spoke up for the first time, "You know, you're kinda hot when you're angry...."

Everything stopped. The chaos marines stopped fighting the space marines. The artillery stopped firing. The Tyranid tendrils stopped moving. The Necrons stopped awakening. Everything.

"WHAT?!" Yelled Khorne, his anger at Tzeentch forgotten. All the Khorne berzerkers turned to the Slaanesh noise marines, preparing to battle.
'oooh. Punish me..." Said Slaanesh before being punched in the face by Khorne.

"Looks like its up to us" Said Nurgle to the primarch Daemon and Tzeentch. As they turned to face the Titan, it had regained its feet. The odds were a little more even, but not by much. That is, untill a massive Psycannon shot hit Nurgle square in the chest, blowing off a massive chunk of flesh and sending Nurglings everywhere. The Grey Knight had arrived.
"I am sorry, my Emperor." Spoke Brother Captain Stern from the helm of the Grey Knight, the Emperor's second line of Defense. Now, it was two on three. The battle between Khorne and Slaanesh raged on to the side. Needless to say, it was getting...scandalous.
Suddenly, a strange braying was heard. The Tyranids had arrived. Swarming over the 'fighting' bodies of Khorne and Slaanesh they began to attack Tzeentch, the Hive Mind wanting to absorb the psychic energy. Tzeentch took one last look at the Emperor and the Grey Knight before fighting off the tyranids. Nurgle and the Daemon primarch were left. "Now its even" Said the Emperor, pushing forward and striking out at the two Daemons, followed closely by the Grey Knight. Suddenly, even more Braying was heard. the plot thicked as it turned out the battle field was the biggest tomb world ever!1! Necrons, Necrons everywhere. Guass was flying around, flaying Chaos, Imperial, and Tyranid alike. Suddenly, two massive Battle Barges appeared. The Blood Angels Battle Barges.

From the bellies of the ships spilled the entiredy of the Blood Angels chapter. The Necrons stopped and looked up at the new arrivals. Dante walked over to the Silent King of the Necrons. Raising his fist, the Necron did the same. Bro-fist! Suddenly, the necrons began to fire only on Chaos and the tyranids. "What the Fu..." Said the Emperor when Dante interrupted saying, "Just go with it, man."

After hours of fighting, the Grey Knight, as well as Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh, the Tyranid fleet, and the Necrons had been destroyed. Only Tzeentch and the Daemon primarchs remained to battle the Emperor. (The forces of Chaos and humanity still battled at their feet)

"It seems we are to die together' Said Tzeentch, looking around at the carnage.

"NOT SO FAST!" yelled a voice. Suddenly, the entire Blood Ravens chapter mass deep-striked, simultaneously, unto the battle field. Each battle brother was equpied with a multilaser. Dreadnaughts with multilasers. Captains with multilasers. Termiantors with multilasers. Each member of the chapter opened fire upon the two daemons, the sheer weight of multilaser fire grinding the Daemon primarchs to dust, and wounding Tzeentch. The Emperorator-ator stode forward, slashing its axe and sword across Tzeentchs chest. "No..." Rasped Tzeentch, preparing one final bolt of energy, more powerful than anything before it, and launching it at the Emperor.

Dante stared up at the oddly-slow moving projectile. He knew the prophecy, that one golden warrior would stand between the Emperor and the darkness, was coming true. Igniting his jump pack, Dante flew up and placed himself between the bolt of dark energy and the Emperor. His Axe Mortalis, had a special property. For all its cool background, it was simply a master-crafted weapon. Or was it?
In truth, it was the greatest weapon of all. Dante slashed his axe downward, its blade coliding with the dark energy and lauching it back at Tzeentch.
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!' yelled Tzeentch as he was struck by the massive bolt, disintegrating.

A third white light flashed, and all the Primarchs stood around the emperor. Dante stood there to, as well as the captains of every chapter. "I am spent" Said the Emperor, looking out among his children. But my death is not in vain, I have givn you the greatest gift a father can bestow, the Power to Kick Ass!" The Emperor said, his life fading away. "Thank you Dante. I knew your axe had a cool backstory for a reason." And the Emperor passed.

Each of the Primarchs stood, staring at each other. Suddenly, Russ interupted the silence, "I like your neck cut Girlyman!" And all the other primarchs laughed.

The End.

This thread has achieved maximum awesomeness.

I would like to congratulate you for making my literally laugh so hard I cried.

chowderhead13 wrote:This thread has achieved maximum awesomeness.

I would like to congratulate you for making my literally laugh so hard I cried.

Put the tears in a bottle and ship them to me

Oh. My. God.

moar please?

battle Brother Lucifer wrote:

'Gone? That would have taken some sort of tactical geni....CREEEEEEEEED!"

Died by laughing count: 1

battle Brother Lucifer wrote: Dante walked over to the Silent King of the Necrons. Raising his fist, the Necron did the same. Bro-fist! Suddenly, the necrons began to fire only on Chaos and the tyranids. "What the Fu..." Said the Emperor when Dante interrupted saying, "Just go with it, man."

Died by laughing count: 2

battle Brother Lucifer wrote: A third white light flashed, and all the Primarchs stood around the emperor. Dante stood there to, as well as the captains of every chapter. "I am spent" Said the Emperor, looking out among his children. But my death is not in vain, I have givn you the greatest gift a father can bestow, the Power to Kick Ass!" The Emperor said, his life fading away. "Thank you Dante. I knew your axe had a cool backstory for a reason." And the Emperor passed.

Each of the Primarchs stood, staring at each other. Suddenly, Russ interupted the silence, "I like your neck cut Girlyman!" And all the other primarchs laughed.

The End.

Died by laughing count: 3

Congratulations good sir, you have just killed me three times in the space of ten minutes, good show!

This thread... is so f*cked up. But in a good way.

Nothing will ever be achieved like this... ever... again... Please, put it in an article and immortalize it!

I like the pictures...............

My mind was blown.

Melkhiordarkblade wrote:My mind was blown.

Glad you liked it. An 'aftermath' may be incoming

This was nothing less than an epic win. Well done sir. /bro-fist

The only thing it was missing is commissars wanting to hit things with swords.

I... feel something else missing. The pink power ranger, and ORKS! That will truly complete it. And some of the other races.

how could I forget Orks?
Well, now we have a part 4. Waaagh! Vs the last of Humanity (Eldar and Deldar and Sisters may appear. Probably not Tau)

Mind = Blown

battle Brother Lucifer wrote:
Slaanesh spoke up for the first time, "You know, you're kinda hot when you're angry...."

Everything stopped. The chaos marines stopped fighting the space marines. The artillery stopped firing. The Tyranid tendrils stopped moving. The Necrons stopped awakening. Everything.

"WHAT?!" Yelled Khorne, his anger at Tzeentch forgotten. All the Khorne berzerkers turned to the Slaanesh noise marines, preparing to battle.
'oooh. Punish me..." Said Slaanesh before being punched in the face by Khorne.

My thread! LIVE!!!!

I am actually gonna write up a part four for this guys, making fun of much of the new fluff that has come out since I originally wrote this. And having the orks and eldar etc take a part.

Dude, youre doing a lot of thread revival lately. What gives? Not that that's a bad thing or anything...

well, the first one someone else revived and I figured I would revive the other one and actually finish.
I mentioned this thread a second ago, and someone wanted to see it, so I revived it in preparation of the part 4 I have been planning but have been to lazy to do

Very Nice. Also, pretty well color coded. Shouldn't we have Sangie as the pink one though?

There was no pink one. I couldn't find Corax, so Batman was used for the same effect.

best friend, right here

I love this thread XD

Once part 4 is up (hopefully tomorrow) it will be even better. Once the saga is complete, I will post it on /tg/, and try to get more photoshopped pics and praise
my ultimate goal is to get it recognized somewhere and/or pop up like the B&W sm on the B&W bike (who may or may not be in part 4 )

Kasrkai wrote:There was no pink one. I couldn't find Corax, so Batman was used for the same effect.

I think its way funnier with batman, tbh. And thank you very much for that, its epic

Awesome, i can't wait please put up internet memes in there to like Indrick boreales dead corpse or something.

There's got to be a sisters reference in there somewhere. PLEASE! Nah, any bad sexist joke would be kinda lame... or hilarious.