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Cheesecat wrote:

Medium of Death wrote:Wait, so putting soap in your kids mouth is a widely accepted form of punishment?

My immediate family never did it but it's one that's been used for decades, it's probably so well known that I wouldn't be surprised if there was TV sitcoms or movies that feature it as well.

... Look about four post up MilkDog...it has been featured in at least one film that I know of...

@ MoD...To answer your question...would I put soap in my own kids mouth...I doubt it, not that I believe it's particularly cruel...I just opted to ( on the single occasion that my son used profanity around me) chew him out a little and take away his TV privs, trust me...he'd sooner eat a bar of soap than miss out on his TV shows.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

Medium of Death wrote:Wait, so putting soap in your kids mouth is a widely accepted form of punishment?

It's fairly common in my generation at least.

Cheesecat wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.

You're joking right?

he is. It was a cotton bag.

Monster Rain wrote:When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.

...See, even though your joking ( I assume), being a child of the 70's I can attest to the fact that we got gak knocked out of us on a regular basis, most of the kids I grew up with as well....parents were much more prone to just beat you half to death if you were bad...we all knew it...and most of us behaved...or at least tried to not get caught being bad.

I think we all have to admit that we were abused as children, our parents didn't even have carseats and seatbelts.

Soap is harmless and its humiliating. Its a perfect form of punishment because it sends the message home.

I'm kinda tired of seeing parents come into Wal-Mart and Target with their undisciplined nightmares who scream, cry, and yell. It’s as if these kids are bipolar. All because "I don't want to hurt my child, I love them..." Don't you think codling them and making them so overly dependent is MORE hurtful? I mean these kids grow up thinking every time they whine they get their way. What, are they going to go to their boss and whine for a raise and expect it to happen?

Discipline isn't rocket science. Some kids don't require the physical to behave, but much like in everything else, we are not all the same. Some learn better with more direct and immediate measures. Point is, Discipline and abuse are completely separate things. Its not as hard to see the line if you use a little common sense.

Wooden swords, belt buckles, hitting in anger and being drunk are all bad. No revelations there.

Spanking when given plenty of opportunities to change a behavior and all other methods have been exhausted is fine. Key is to not spank in anger, as that emotion clouds the abuse/discipline lines.

Slapping the face to me is an ultimate shame style of punishment. Its not all that physically traumatic, but emotionally so. That form of punishment tends to be the most harsh and should be reserved for truly bad behavior.

Again these are my opinions and every family has their own way of handling things. Who's to say one is more right or wrong. All I know is the end result. A parent is undoubtedly the biggest influence a child has outside of their friends so its crucial to prepare them for a world that is not going to bend over backwards for them. If the world were all flowers and cotton candy I'd see no problem, but its not. Its hard, sometimes cruel, and often times a very beautiful place.

Boy scouts motto: Be Prepared!

FITZZ, your hot sauce tale reminded me of that Dr. Phil episode where a mother admitted using it on her son and then forcing him to stand in a cold shower.

Amusingly, going onto the Dr. Phil show meant the police got involved.

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/mom_blames_dr_phil_for_hot_sauce_vuJpYbWS4lYanGgS3gxXJM

AustonT wrote:I think we all have to admit that we were abused as children, our parents didn't even have carseats and seatbelts.

Please don't spam the forum with image macros, especially in a way designed to violate Dakka Rule Number One. Thanks! ~Manchu

FITZZ wrote: I've swatted my kids backsides on a few occasions..but I would always sit them down afterwards and explain to them what they'd done wrong.
For the most part their both pretty well behaved and happy kids, sure...they misbehave from time to time...but it seldom takes more than a stern look to get them to act right.

I do the same, I think its important they understand WHY I just spanked them. Works wonders

When I was a kid, my folks smacked me in the mouth and washed my arse out with soap. Never did me any harm.






Or did it?

Manchu wrote:Incidentally, I heard he now works at a BDSM club.

Well he was Catholic, right?


...</joke>

I believe physical punishment only really works up to a certain age. Once a child starts to develop their internal moral compass and sense of right and wrong it seems more beneficial to reason with them and explain what they are doing is wrong.

When i was a little tacker i shoved my mum while she was making dinner and she spilt hot soup everywhere almost spilling it on herself. My dad came over and gave me a right hard smack and i tell you what, i never pushed my mum again and all it cost was a decent smack across the arse.
I think AustonT summed it up nicely with this.

AustonT wrote:It's not abuse to discipline your children, it's abuse when it's not discipline anymore.

Me and my siblings expected punishment when we fethed up and when we did our punishment was duly dolled out but it was never excessive or undeserved. It wasnt always getting a smack either. Sometimes we went without dinner (or worse without dessert, if there was some on the go) and sometimes we got sent to sit in the corner. I see no harm in enforcing good standards on kids, just dont take it too far.

AustonT wrote:Paddling hurts but isn't exactly the most brutal form punishment.

Sorry couldnt help myself.

I have to say with the soap I didn't think my mum would carry it out, learnt when to stop pushing my luck that day as well. Now-a-days she swears quite a bit too as does my dad and no one really cares about language in the house that much.

I think the worst punishment though I have ever had was putting pictures of me as a baby, the usual embarrassing ones, up round the marquee of my 18th party for all my mates to see. I think its because I didn't help with the cleaning in the week so they made sure the worst ones went up.

I find that time out tends to be far more effective of a punishment for the little nephew if the mere threat of a spanking doesn't work (it usually does). The very mention of time out causes him to panic. Sure he's stubborn as a mule, but I'm about a thousand times more stubborn than that-- he'll cave eventually, and unlike the rest of my family I won't.

For the bigger nephew, denying him games and access to the internet is a better punishment. He'll go pouty, but my cats have made me immune to such childrens' tricks.

I wouldn't put soap in their mouth because I love my nephews. Soap is very bad for ingestion.

Melissia wrote:I find that time out tends to be far more effective of a punishment for the little nephew if the mere threat of a spanking doesn't work (it usually does). The very mention of time out causes him to panic. Sure he's stubborn as a mule, but I'm about a thousand times more stubborn than that-- he'll cave eventually, and unlike the rest of my family I won't.

For the bigger nephew, denying him games and access to the internet is a better punishment. He'll go pouty, but my cats have made me immune to such childrens' tricks.

I wouldn't put soap in their mouth because I love my nephews. Soap is very bad for ingestion.

What if he doesn't go to time out?

Frazzled wrote:

Melissia wrote:I find that time out tends to be far more effective of a punishment for the little nephew if the mere threat of a spanking doesn't work (it usually does). The very mention of time out causes him to panic. Sure he's stubborn as a mule, but I'm about a thousand times more stubborn than that-- he'll cave eventually, and unlike the rest of my family I won't.

For the bigger nephew, denying him games and access to the internet is a better punishment. He'll go pouty, but my cats have made me immune to such childrens' tricks.

I wouldn't put soap in their mouth because I love my nephews. Soap is very bad for ingestion.

What if he doesn't go to time out?

The little one's three-ish. I could toss him across the room with one hand...

I will MAKE him sit in time out. Intimidating children and making them cry is deeply satisfying for some reason.

Melissia wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

Melissia wrote:I find that time out tends to be far more effective of a punishment for the little nephew if the mere threat of a spanking doesn't work (it usually does). The very mention of time out causes him to panic. Sure he's stubborn as a mule, but I'm about a thousand times more stubborn than that-- he'll cave eventually, and unlike the rest of my family I won't.

For the bigger nephew, denying him games and access to the internet is a better punishment. He'll go pouty, but my cats have made me immune to such childrens' tricks.

I wouldn't put soap in their mouth because I love my nephews. Soap is very bad for ingestion.

What if he doesn't go to time out?

The little one's three-ish. I could toss him across the room with one hand...

I will MAKE him sit in time out. Intimidating children and making them cry is deeply satisfying for some reason.

What if he doesn't? If you phyisically hold him there you're engaging, kind of defeating the purpose of time out no?
(images of a Frazzled before the wiener time carrying a 2 year old Genghis Connie out of Gattis Pizza high over his head to avoid the flying feet and arms, laughing as he did it. Thus began the legend of "Genghis" Connie...)

He hasn't had that problem yet because I have him properly intimidated.

And they will know fear.

Melissia wrote:He hasn't had that problem yet because I have him properly intimidated.

And they will know fear.

Overheard walking past The Teenager's room
friend of boy to The Teenager "you could just tell him that he's not your dad and he can't tell you what to do."
The Teenager "No way, my Dad's (me) crazy. You've seen him."

Yea baby.

I spank my boy when it is required, no other punishment even phases him. He talks to himself in time out so he doesn't get bored,
If you take all his toys he could entertain himself for hours with a bread tie, I only allow him 1 hour of TV a day so he can get along quite well without it, and
When I raise my voice he looks at the wall behind me and I can tell he is daydreaming. It is a battle I am doomed to lose.

Oddly enough the biggest problem isn't my nephew, but rather, his grandmother.

Which wasn't as bad of a problem with the first nephew, but she's gotten far softer in the intervening years...

Frazzled wrote:

Melissia wrote:He hasn't had that problem yet because I have him properly intimidated.

And they will know fear.

Overheard walking past The Teenager's room
friend of boy to The Teenager "you could just tell him that he's not your dad and he can't tell you what to do."
The Teenager "No way, my Dad's (me) crazy. You've seen him."

Yea baby.

Yup, you trained them well

Melissia wrote:Oddly enough the biggest problem isn't my nephew, but rather, his grandmother.

Which wasn't as bad of a problem with the first nephew, but she's gotten far softer in the intervening years...

Thats what grandparents are for. They are commencing Operation Payback on their children. The secret is to stuff them with gifts and sugar and chili, keep them up and stimulated as much as possible, then give them back to their parents and cruise off in their RVs cackling maniacly as they go. *

*She Who Must Be Obeyed has determined that our Operation Payback will substitute Harley with sidecar and Yamaha cruiser for RV. Yes, may have been a threat made that "yea we're going to come visit you at college on our hogs. Won't that be great!"

Those who advocate washing out a kid's mouth with soap might want to consider where the little darlings are picking those words up from.

Just sayin'.

When I hear mine using the occasional curse, I generally just look at them over the top of my glasses and say, "Do you REALLY want to sound like your Dad (me)?" The answer is a horrified "NOOO!" and they clean up their act immediately.

Frazzled wrote:Thats what grandparents are for. They are commencing Operation Payback on their children.

I think she'd just growing senile, myself.

Medium of Death wrote:
To get soap in a child's mouth what do you do? Grab the child, hold it's mouth open, put soap inside. Seems cruel and unusual imho.

Somebody doesn't have kids yet.

I know that when it happened to me it was a far better punishment than the alternative, which was getting a spanking. Would I do it to my own kids, yes because it works and I know it works. But here's an interesting thing; the punishment needs to fit the environment. If we have a kid in the suburbs or in a nice household then an acceptable punishment it a time out but when you get into inner city areas the acceptable punishment is physical. The reason being the relative amount of violence surrounding the household; a kid in the suburbs doesn't see too much violence so a timeout or grounding will suffice compared to an inner city kid who would look at the timeout as if it were a joke because the surrounding area is dangerous and makes the timeout look like nothing and makes physical punishment much more necessary.

But as Fitzz highlighted it is absolutely necessary to explain why afterwards so they don't think that you're beating them just because you can, that is the fine line between child abuse and punishment.

Dude, don't soap their mouths. You're basically poisoning them.

Gitkikka wrote:Those who advocate washing out a kid's mouth with soap might want to consider where the little darlings are picking those words up from.

Just sayin'.

When I hear mine using the occasional curse, I generally just look at them over the top of my glasses and say, "Do you REALLY want to sound like your Dad (me)?" The answer is a horrified "NOOO!" and they clean up their act immediately.

Welcome to public school, where the one thing you are guaranteed to learn is new vocabulary. I'll soap out their mouths as necessary because certain swear words are just "don't say that again words" and others are Dove words.