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41. If two posts in a row mention bad rule writing causing logical paradoxes, you may write your previous post entirely in purple. Time travel is a fair, balanced, and intended part of the ruleset.

42. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Custodes are not Space Marines, despite being large-shouldered burly men in power armor with bolters.

43. Custodes are absolutely Space Marines, as ordered by the Ordo Chronus.

44. Any mentions of the Forgeworld Book That Shall Not Be Named will be met with an immediate ban from certain people’s personal respects.

45. If you play an army, it needs a buff. If something counters your army, it needs a nerf. Anything your army counters is fine.

46. Any negativity is “whining”, and any people expressing negative opinions are obviously just children complaining pointlessly. Likewise, any positivity is “white knighting”, and any people expressing a positive opinion are clearly just drooling shills.

47. The following reasons are the wrong reasons for picking an army. Anyone who plays an army for these reasons is clearly just a WAAC TFG, ing Casual, a noob, or a person who doesn’t pay attention.
- Aesthetic
- Potential paint scheme
- Power on the field
- Theoretical power
- Favoritism from GW
- Good backstory
- Bad backstory
- High percentage of tournament wins
- Wanting friends
- Not wanting friends
- Being available in stores
- Being cheap

48. If you are getting shot off of the board, use more line of sight blocking terrain - it forces shooting armies to move and engage at closer ranges and gives short ranged and melee armies a chance.

49. Line of sight blocking terrain ruins melee armies - it is harder to charge enemies with all this terrain, and a small handful of units (that your opponent always uses and always has out of LoS regardless of terrain layout) ignores terrain penalties.

50. It is perfectly ok to play 40k with unpainted models. If someone refuses to play you because of this they are TFG.

51. All of your models must be painted in order to play the game. If someone demands to play you with their field of grey flavor of the month units, they are TFG.

52. Remember that GW will be out of business in a matter of months, and will never recover from squatting Fantasy. If another poster provides you with numbers proving otherwise, double down on your narrative.

53. Take a step away from boob plate, feminism, and women in 40k threads, as they will invariably get heated and oftentimes locked. If you stumble into the thread anyways, pick a side, dig in, and insult the opposing side until mods lock the thread.

54. Slaanesh is being squatted in order to sell more models to children. Ignore all evidence to the contrary, no matter how convincing it may sound.

I just realised that nobody mentioned the most important rule of all:

0. If you're having fun playing you are WRONG.

55. Play the prude to criticize sexist models wearing nothing but boobplate and tactical high-heels AFTER you just watched your favourite Russ Meyer movie while wearing your most cherished stilettos.

56: Make sure to assert that fun is subjective and no one can make you play the way you want, then in your next post accuse someone of playing wrong.

57: Remember that anecdotes aren't evidence, evidence isn't evidence, math isn't evidence, and reality is false.

58: The truth is irrelevant when confronted by a narrative; similarly, it is better to argue two competing narratives than it is to argue from a position of facts and proofs, because as per Rule 57, evidence isn't evidence.

59: Having fun with Warhammer 40k is forbidden because it is a bad game.

60: Since Dakka 40k General is a 40k forum, it is very important that you play as few games as possible and not even try the latest rules and edition of the game. Otherwise, you may enjoy it, and per Rule 59, this isn't allowed.

61. You're army is the most overpowered and broken thing in the game, as are all of the units you use in it. This does not invalidate rule 13.

13. Army you're playing is the worst in the game.

62. "Always" "put" "everything" "in" "quotations" "even" "if" "you" "mean" "it".

63. Plastic beats metal and resin everyday.

64. Resin is better than plastic and metal everyday.

65. Metal is the best material. Better than plastic and resin.

66. Games Workshop has not released a decent miniature since *Insert year I started playing Warhammer here*.

67. Games Workshop makes the best miniatures. Any evidence to the contrary is heresy.

68. Multipart plastic kits are what makes Games Workshop minis the best!

69. Monopose kits are better than multi-part kits. See rules 63-65 regarding materials.

70. Painted models always die first

71. If you're losing, blame the dice

72. If you're winning it's because of your tactics

73. To ensure your opponent misses, make sure to tell them "Don't roll a 1". This stratagem can only be used once per game, so use it wisely.

74. Chaos isn't allowed to win

75. Chaos really won, they just had to disguise their victory as defeat.

Well... like true DakkaDakka style what started off as light satirical humour has become a little too dark. XD

73 made me cry happy tears

76. Always say you would buy a sisters of battle army if they were released in plastic regardless of if you want one or not.

this is fun ... uh damit ^^

77. GW does not play test anything. Anyone who says otherwise is a xenos and you know what to do with em.

78. Your opinion is scientific fact verified by peer review and cited in many scholarly articles thus everyone who disagrees with you is a filthy xenos scum and must be purged.

79. Your casual list is trash. It needs £400 of models, then you can go semi-competitive.

80. The sub optimal unit that you have explained works and is enjoyable is worthless and you should only ever bring it if you intend to lose. And here is my math to prove it: see? Unit A is 15% better than your unit B so you may as well bin it.

81: There is never too much discussion of women in 40k. EVER!. It is a serious issue and ignoring it makes you a White Knight

ValentineGames wrote:
81: There is never too much discussion of women in 40k. EVER!. It is a serious issue and ignoring it makes you a White Knight

Expanding:

82: Never forget to mention how your FLGS or GW store smells like a collection of armpits and anuses, please highlight specific examples of disgusting people in your community.

83: Also argue for hours on end about why there aren't more women playing 40k, because it's totally the lack of female models and not #82.

 Adeptus Doritos wrote:

ValentineGames wrote:
81: There is never too much discussion of women in 40k. EVER!. It is a serious issue and ignoring it makes you a White Knight

Expanding:

82: Never forget to mention how your FLGS or GW store smells like a collection of armpits and anuses, please highlight specific examples of disgusting people in your community.

83: Also argue for hours on end about why there aren't more women playing 40k, because it's totally the lack of female models and not #82.

Expanding further:

84: Miniatures with boobs are sexist.

85: Lack of miniatures with boobs is sexist.

 AnomanderRake wrote:

Expanding further:

84: Miniatures with boobs are sexist.

85: Lack of miniatures with boobs is sexist.

86: Disagreeing with 84 or 85 is sexist.

87: Agreeing is ALSO sexist.

Expanding further:
88. People only ever play a faction that they can personally identify with. That is why women only ever play factions with solely female models, all FLGSs smell like collections of armpits and anuses because all those Death Guard players and no two legged homo sapien can ever play space bugs, Tyranid players are fitlhy xenos myth and male Adeptas Sororitas players is filthy xenos lie. Only true White Knights get a leeway on this and are allowed to identify as Grey Knights.

89. Proper gender representation is so important, that we have to have serious discussion about female pilots hidden under carapaces of gigantic unisex robots, otherwise no woman will ever consider playing Imperial Knights. Ever.

90: All the mods are biased to the opposite of your political ideology. All the time.

I thought General Discussion was for actual Generals and the rest of you were just trolls. That was a much simpler explanation for what happens here.

91) General discussion is only for actual generals

92) Only forty thousands generals are allowed to have a discussion at any given time

93) Maybe 40k isn't the game for you. Try a smaller, cheaper skirmish game like Warmachine or Flames of War.

94. Always remember the most important thing is to have fun.

95. The only way to have fun is to complain about what other people are enjoying.

96: New units for your army don't count as new units unless they were something you specifically wanted in the army.

97: Giant centerpiece models are too strong and should never be played.

98: Giant centerpiece models are garbage and should never be played.

99: Every army needs a giant centerpiece model.

100. Giant centerpiece models ruined 40k and turned it away from being a fun skirmish game.

101: Warhammer 40k was never intended to be a balanced game

102: Forge World shouldn't be allowed because it's imbalanced

103. People always play to win at all costs. For the duration of the all is fair in war is in full effect. There can be no love.

104. If you say you play for fun and not to win you are lying, possibly even unto yourself