Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Things change, frequently. You just get to roll with it for a while, and you’ll get accustomed to the new normal.

 porkuslime wrote:
Put em to work!

I'm terrified thinking about what the next picture shows... If it was my kids, that pot of stain would be everywhere.

Make the time in pockets throughout the week
Make the most of the time
Play less, but make it the best game possible
Crank out armies, so that fully painted is the order of the day
This includes beautiful table dressing and scenario setting

My gaming is far higher level, but less amount now. I’m fine with that. Better a top class bi monthly game than a churn and burn pickup game in a shop or something.

 pancakeonions wrote:

 porkuslime wrote:
Put em to work!

I'm terrified thinking about what the next picture shows... If it was my kids, that pot of stain would be everywhere.

She was pretty good.. I documented her dipping a Tyranid .. she ended up dipping my entire flipping Nid army.. (which at the time had 120 genestealers)

https://www.dakkadakka.com/gallery/images-6274-1489_Lillian%20Dipping.html

 Fenrir Kitsune wrote:
Make the time in pockets throughout the week

.... Better a top class bi monthly game than a churn and burn pickup game in a shop or something.

Wow...!

Or bi-annual instead of three or four times a year.

:(

 pancakeonions wrote:

 Fenrir Kitsune wrote:
Make the time in pockets throughout the week

.... Better a top class bi monthly game than a churn and burn pickup game in a shop or something.

Wow...!

Or bi-annual instead of three or four times a year.

:(

I did some groundwork and found a pub nearby with a free room - 5 mins away. After dad duties, we all get there for 8ish and have a good 2 1/2 hours to get through a multiplayer game. We don’t play GW as they take far far too long and are too nitpicking with details, so stick to the warlord rules sets which are designed for exactly this type of gaming.

Rules, scenario and guides for forces are posted on a mutual blog so that everyone knows what’s happening and who is bringing whataongst our pool of eras.

Modern tech!

I have a 9 year old son who doesn't live with me, a 2 year old girl, and a disabled wife. I'm also going to school online. I have made it out of the house for 2 games since 8th dropped, and got half of a Necromunda game in my living room after the little one was in bed. The only uninterrupted hobby time I get is when I say I'm "doing schoolwork. Otherwise, I have to stay up until 3am, knowing I have to get up at 5am for work, in order to get anything done. But as everyone else has said, as kids get older, it does get easier.

I did just get my son into painting Batman miniatures, so I can take him up to my office and we paint together when I have him.

The only thing you can do is make time for yourself in the evenings, and make time for your wife on others. Dont try and cram everything into one night, it just won't work.

My other half tends works in the evenings from home, so I will paint while she is working. I can normally get 2-3 hours in once the kids are in bed, before we sit and chat for 30-40 minutes before off to sleep. On the nights she goes to the gym, I will generally just chill out with a bit of Destiny 2 until she is home then we spend time together.

I dont have room in my house for a hobby desk, which in a strange way helps. As soon as I start getting everything out, I know I have to paint or I am wasting effort by that point.

Kids get easier when they get older, and you can paint more while they are around. When my youngest has a nap, I will get some models out to paint and my 4 year old will either paint or draw next to me on the table.

Kids play all day so should tired and asleep by 7-9 depending on age. Infants are even easier.

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

These threads puzzle me.

Op found time for a heartfelt bit of interneting but struggles to imagine how he could hobby. Turn the computer off?

I have a 3 year old and a one year old. I also run a shopfitting company. Trying to find a good balance between work and family is hard enough without making time for the hobby. The key is organisation and an understanding partner. Its easy when your a new parent to feel guilty doing anything which isn't centred around your kids, however having time for yourself allows you to re-charge and make the most of family time. Right now my two are too little to join me with my hobby but as they grow I hope I can include them. Time wise finding motivation once the kids are in bed can be hard as there is always other stuff that needs doing plus cramming everything into an hour or so when your already tired doesn't make for a good time. Try setting aside an evening once a week or an afternoon on the weekend where you can have a few hours and make the most of it. Turn off your phone/pc and focus without any distractions.

 notprop wrote:
Kids play all day so should tired and asleep by 7-9 depending on age. Infants are even easier.

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

These threads puzzle me.

Op found time for a heartfelt bit of interneting but struggles to imagine how he could hobby. Turn the computer off?

We get it, you are the perfect father. How old are yours, incidentally?

Now off the high horse please, different people do things different ways for different reasons.

Choose your battle!
I have a 2 year old, a full time jobb with at least 45 min pendling single way and it is still possible for me to continu tabletop gaming, and mostly painting, I have even painted 28 Deathwing terminators in a space of two month.

I love a lot of things: (in no order)
reading
writing
videogames
boardgame
cardgames
3D moddeling
TV series
meeting friends
and of course the tabletop gaming!

But you can't do all in the few hours that are left between the moment you go to sleep and that your home is in order.
So I have organize myself:
-I write on my phone in the public transport
-I read during holidays when I an generally away from home and can't bring my minis. The same for the 3D modelling.
-I play videogames only if i am too tired to paint or if i am on holidays.
-I am lucky enough to be have a colleague that play MtG so we can play on our lunch break once a week.
-I prioritize social life over miniatures (but it is of course not uncompatible^^) but having a children, you will have a tendancy to meet people with the same rythms of life than yours (meaning they will be tired as well and not willing to get out every night to try all the pub in the city) and if you are lucky the same center of interest (so you will combine games and social life ).

And under the children free time: don't forget your partner!

My son is 26. Yes 26. I know that's not your current situation but I was once where you are now. You will find the time to do all the things that are important to you. It won't be the same but it will be better. I remember my son at 5 using some of my epic models as race cars. If you raise him so that he sees what you do you there will always be some interest in what you do. I have coached a track team that he would later run and polevault on. I was volunteered to be a scoutmaster when my son's troop needed one. The hobby will at times hit the back burner but you will find the time. But at other times it will come roaring back in. My gaming adds a connection that I have with my son that has strengthened our relationship. Just this week we texted each other at the same time when news of the new ork buggy dropped. He isn't as avid a gamer as I am but we still have that connection. Good luck you will find the time.

 notprop wrote:
Kids play all day so should tired and asleep by 7-9 depending on age. Infants are even easier.

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

These threads puzzle me.

Op found time for a heartfelt bit of interneting but struggles to imagine how he could hobby. Turn the computer off?

Sounds pretty cut and dry until you add home and property maintenance and general chores in.

i have a little boy of 9 months old and i still have alot of hobby time because of good arrangements with the wife. From time to time when one of us leaves the house, we take our son with us so the other one has some spare hobby time. This summer, I hosted a 40k tournament (biggest battles where 8K so looooong games) at my place and specified the dates long before so the wife took care of the kid issues during the games those days.
When she wants some hobby or "girls-time" i take care of him.
And yes, we do take care of all the stuff around the house, but with good planning with your partner, there is no need to let your hobbytime go because of the baby

This counts for everything. You can keep most of the activities you do going on, you just have to plan it better with your partner, and whenever possible, take the the litte one with you

 AegisGrimm wrote:

 notprop wrote:
Kids play all day so should tired and asleep by 7-9 depending on age. Infants are even easier.

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

These threads puzzle me.

Op found time for a heartfelt bit of interneting but struggles to imagine how he could hobby. Turn the computer off?

Sounds pretty cut and dry until you add home and property maintenance and general chores in.

Sounds like the classic “kids should be like THIS” diktat with no actual children or parenting experience.

Really it comes down to a couple of key things.

#1 - your wife doesn't need inserted up your butt 24/7.
#2 - you don't need inserted up your wife's butt 24/7.
#3 - kids require a lot of attention, but they don't require both sets of eyes on them 24/7.

Schedule time for family stuff. Wife should have some "her time". Guy should have some "his time". The partnership should be a partnership where both help each other accomplish this.

Thats how I was able to raise kids and still play warhammer and paint with no issues.

 notprop wrote:
These threads puzzle me.

I've never understood them either.

I'm married and have two girls, 9 and 6 (almost 7). They both do after-school activities and the older one has gymnastics twice a week. Even though my wife and I both work full time (she's a teacher, I work in data center operations), I do a majority of the cooking and all of the grocery shopping, plus the yardwork and the maintenance-type stuff of general home upkeep. I meet up with my friends multiple times a month to play games, either at our FLGS or someone's house, because I make the time to do it.

When I'm home in the evenings or weekends and they're home, that doesn't stop me from painting models (or playing video games or watching movies/sports). My kids entertain themselves a majority of the time, whether it's playing with toys inside, playing the Switch, going over to a neighbor's house, or just good old fashioned playing outside; they don't need my wife or I to hover over them 24/7. In fact, they're getting to age now that they want to come with me when I play games and they like building and painting models (the older one recently won second place in the Juniors category at the yearly model show my local IPMS chapter puts on).

Plus, like some other people have said, planning goes a long way. I'm not free every weekend, but I can usually make myself free most of the time and so can my wife. If she had something planned, than that's that and I'll find another time. Neither one of us has free reign to do whatever we want whenever we want to do it, so we work together to maximize opportunities to enjoy our respective hobbies.

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
My kids entertain themselves a majority of the time, whether it's playing with toys inside, playing the Switch, going over to a neighbor's house, or just good old fashioned playing outside;

Not when they are 2, they don't. That's a central theme to this thread. When they get to the age of your kids, sure, much more time is available. At 2 years old, they need someone interacting with them a good bit, keeping them on a good schedule, etc.

SG

 ServiceGames wrote:

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
My kids entertain themselves a majority of the time, whether it's playing with toys inside, playing the Switch, going over to a neighbor's house, or just good old fashioned playing outside;

Not when they are 2, they don't. That's a central theme to this thread. When they get to the age of your kids, sure, much more time is available. At 2 years old, they need someone interacting with them a good bit, keeping them on a good schedule, etc.

SG

When my son was a couple of months old and refusing to nap/sleep regularly I thought I would never paint/play 40k ever again. Since then I've had 2 of my most successful years of painting and assembly in terms of the number of models built and painted. At some point the child will start sleeping on a regular schedule. When they are asleep you're free to build, paint, leave the house while at least one parent is at home. You have some control over the sleeping too. Create a routine for sleep and a preferred sleep time. The first few weeks of that are tough, but humans are creature of routine and soon the kid will be on a schedule.

Having a kid does change everything. My approach to my life had to become much more regimented. I used to do things when the whim struck. I waited for inspiration to hobby and then do it in big time chunks. Now I have to work on units more incrementally. I don't get a burst of activity and the quick satisfaction of a finished product, but usually when I spend a few nights working on something, the unit is done and I'm ready to move on to the next thing.

In terms of your relationship with the spouse, that changes too. You oddly spend less time together after a child enters the picture. Usually one is handling the kid while the other one accomplishes life tasks. So be sure to put time together on a schedule as well to make sure that doesn't go by the wayside.

So my suggestions are:

1. Enforce a sleep schedule on the kid to give you and the wife more time in the evening before sleep.
2. Take an incremental approach to hobby progress.
3. Make sure you engage with your spouse. It helps if you have family/friends/baby sitters that are available so you can leave the house to reconnect.

My daughter is 4. Mrs Captain Brown and I will often work out a night where she gets out with her friends and I have Ms. Captain Brown all on my own. Then I will get time with my friends as Mrs Captain Brown has Ms. Captain Brown on another evening. To keep painting my friends will have painting nights instead of gaming every so often.

Cheers,

CB

My daughter is now 13. There was always time for some hobby, but all day long games are a thing of the past.

My hobby passions changed based on my time and money situation. Typically, if I would do rules stuff and quick hit painting/sculpting.

Luckily, my wife also enjoyed painting with me, and we would both paint at the end of the day as downtime instead of watching TV or surfing the web. Sometimes, she did her thing while I did mine at the table so we could still chit chat.

Gaming was much more difficult, but the key is good communication and pre-scheduling things.

 notprop wrote:

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

My 3 year old can be up from 7am, run/jump all day, nap for an hour somewhere, and then still be running/jumping at 10pm. The 1 year old is usually asleep by 8pm (2 naps during the day) and is usually up from about 6-6:30. So by the time we've cleared up from the kids, done washing and so on we're looking at about 7 hours of 'us' time, which we'll likely spend asleep.

However I suspect things get a lot easier when they are going to school/clubs, etc. and don't need the same level of supervision.

Herzlos wrote:

 notprop wrote:

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

My 3 year old can be up from 7am, run/jump all day, nap for an hour somewhere, and then still be running/jumping at 10pm. The 1 year old is usually asleep by 8pm (2 naps during the day) and is usually up from about 6-6:30. So by the time we've cleared up from the kids, done washing and so on we're looking at about 7 hours of 'us' time, which we'll likely spend asleep.

Last night I only got 00:30 to 06:30 with both kids asleep at the same time.

So why don't you do all this stuff while the kids are awake?
When our kids are asleep (between 7 and 8 pm), every chore is either done for the day or can wait until the next morning.

 Hanskrampf wrote:

So why don't you do all this stuff while the kids are awake?
When our kids are asleep (between 7 and 8 pm), every chore is either done for the day or can wait until the next morning.

We can get some of it done whilst they are still awake, but not all. We're usually talking about a 30 minute sweep at the end of the night.
But yeah, taking it in turns to spend time with the kids whilst the other one keeps on top of the chores is largely the way to go.

I'm not complaining, btw. My kids are worth the lack of sleep & hobby time.

Herzlos wrote:

 notprop wrote:

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

My 3 year old can be up from 7am, run/jump all day, nap for an hour somewhere, and then still be running/jumping at 10pm.

Sounds like it's time to cut out that nap. My 3 year old also gets up at around 7am, no nap, and is generally asleep by 7pm. If she does sleep during the day, even for as little as ten minutes (nodding off in the car, for instance), then she will cheerfully still be charging around at 10pm. I don't know how even a couple of minute's sleep in the daytime manages to translate to several extra hours energy for her, but it does. Same with my other kids when they were that little. Just a thought.

Married with an 18 month old boy. Right now our schedule is that he takes an afternoon nap from 1:15-3:30 pm or so, and then goes to bed around 7:45 pm. The wife goes to bed earlier than I do (around 9-9:30 pm) and then whatever I do after that is up to me.

For the hobby aspect of the game (painting, modelling, etc) I'll do that at work over lunch and after my son goes to bed. Working over lunch might not sound like much, but even 30 minutes a day really adds up. As another poster said, you are only going to have time if you make time.

For actually playing the game, I must admit that I don't do that much anymore. Not because I feel I don't have the time, just because I simply haven't felt like it. If I do though, I'll typically play on the weekends. I'll leave once he goes down for nap, that way he hasn't been awake too horribly long by the time I get back and I have plenty of time to get dinner started as well. Playing smaller games helps a lot with that. Most of my games nowadays are in the 1000 to 1500 point range. Kill Team is also going to help quite a bit with that I think. My wife doesn't mind me getting some time to myself on occasion, and I afford her the same courtesy. That's just good relationship advice in general I think.

When he gets older and stops taking naps? I have no idea. We'll manage though. At some point I'm expecting most of my hobby time to be spent with my son, which I am very much looking forward to.

My oldest is now 17, youngest 15 (with autism). For the past two years, I’ve slowly been getting into the habit of regularly painting and playing once again. For the longest time, it was a chore to find not so much the time but the energy to do hobby things once I’d finished a full day’s work + household chores.

For a short period of time, until the kids were about 8, I completely dropped out of gaming - it was just too difficult to arrange the time for games while also dealing with an autistic child.

 Taaloc wrote:

Herzlos wrote:

 notprop wrote:

If you’ve not got a few hours before you go to bed then you’ve not tired them out enough with activities/school/reading (screens don’t count) or lack a suitable regimen for the children.

My 3 year old can be up from 7am, run/jump all day, nap for an hour somewhere, and then still be running/jumping at 10pm.

Sounds like it's time to cut out that nap. My 3 year old also gets up at around 7am, no nap, and is generally asleep by 7pm. If she does sleep during the day, even for as little as ten minutes (nodding off in the car, for instance), then she will cheerfully still be charging around at 10pm. I don't know how even a couple of minute's sleep in the daytime manages to translate to several extra hours energy for her, but it does. Same with my other kids when they were that little. Just a thought.

We've tried that and on the few days he makes it to 7pm he's out for the night. Usually he'll pass out about 5/6pm for an hour or 2 and then be up until midnight.

Having a wife that also plays tabletop really helps.

The sad thing is that the two year old has not yet learned not to eat the brush and miniatures, but I have hopes for the future. (She already has stuffed dice.)

The Auld Grump