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Picture yourself lazily sleeping in this morning. You know those mornings? Where it's freezing outside yet your bed is the place to be? Ahhh... such bliss!

I hear my 2 yr old daughter wander in to the bedroom, and as I open my eyes I am greeted by her smiling, hormagaunt purple face.

"Hello... are you using mums makeup?" I stupidly deduct. Since she was touching everything i jumped up to clean her up and locate the source of the mess. First the living room looking for opened containers (she likes taking stuff from the bathroom into other rooms).

Nothing...

I wander into the bathroom to see if evidence can be found there... yet none. Then the kitchen, to which i still cannot find anything. It still hasn't clicked at this stage. I sniff the evidence on her face. Hmm... doesn't smell like anything in particular.

"Wait a second" I whisper in my coolest "Empire Strikes Back Han Solo voice when mynocks are chewing power cables" with realisation rapidly turning to horror. I race into the study, to the paints sitting on the desk and find both the contents of a full hormagaunt purple paint pot + mechrite red pot emptied everywhere (desk, keyboard, mouse, chair).

I had no idea those paints could cover such an area! Not only has my daughter finger painted my desk with miniature paints, but also previously turned detail brushes into drybrushes with repeated stabbing motions into said desk... no matter how much i hide or move things out of reach she finds a way. Maybe I have a little golden demon artist in the works?

Anyone else have horror stories of children?

I don't, at least not at my current stage, but i feel your pain mate. Thats gotta hurt.

hahaha.

I also have a 2 year old daughter. Love her with all my heart and soul in complete sincerity, but yes. Children have the evil gene or something. its like "hmm I could play with this stuffed animal that is 4 feet tall and squishy and talks, or I can grab those scissors and cut my name into the couch but really it will just look like the manson family attacked the couch" They go for the scissors every time...

I have to keep all my models, modeling, supplies, paints, etc either behind a locked door, in the basement behind a locked door, or on the top of a shelf thats too high for even me to reach; and i cant work on them while she is awake.

No stories for me..

but one on the way if that counts.

Im prepraed to have my paints and things locked up.

Spyder68 wrote:No stories for me..

but one on the way if that counts.

Im prepraed to have my paints and things locked up.

Wait, what?! When?!

Love her with all my heart and soul in complete sincerity, but yes. Children have the evil gene or something.

Yep! The ability to turn grown men from "ARG! Beer! Women! Lamentations!" to "awww... i couldn't wouldn't be angwey at widdle you!"

It's like failing a willpower test. My frustration knew no bounds this morning yet i still couldn't get angry at her... she is too young to understand. I am just taking notes for when she's a teenager.

Yesss, then we shall see how much she values makeup, sleep, free-time and 'walls without crayon and chalk' mwahahhha!

No stories for me..

but one on the way if that counts.

Im prepraed to have my paints and things locked up.

It matters not. They find a way, they always find a way.

Adorable story man! If she used a third color your workspace would have been done to some tournament standards. haha.

it was like this... in my mind

snowman40k wrote:

it was like this... in my mind

Epic! My gear is all locked up, if I want to paint I have to unlock the cup
board, then spend like 5 minutes getting everything out and setting up, most nights I just can't be bothered, hence I still haven't finish feth all of my SW and my Rohirrim... But hey, you gotta love em.

Luckily my 8 year old son leaves my hobby supplies and minis alone. He likes to watch for now...

My three Pugs and one Bordeaux (the breed of big red dog featured in Turner and Hooch) on the other hand don't understand that they shouldn't drink from the paint pots or chew the little plastic men....

AgeOfEgos wrote:

Spyder68 wrote:No stories for me..

but one on the way if that counts.

Im prepraed to have my paints and things locked up.

Wait, what?! When?!

Just had our 2nd appt. last Wed. 12 weeks along now is all!

Just had our 2nd appt. last Wed. 12 weeks along now is all!

Congrats dude! Welcome to the club! May Nurgle not visit their nappy too much...

And we should make a third type of gamer...

N00b
Veteran
Veteran with kid/s

The war stories over our gaming table (when we find time to get together and play) usually ends up about hairy tales of our unruly offspring. Monsters the lot of 'em!

They're Chaos Spawn when you think about it. Gibbering piles of flesh with limbs that can do little more than flail about. You gotta love 'em though. Congratulations on your latest addition Spyder68.

Your story had me laughing pretty hard snowman...mostly due to nostalgia.
Both my children are well past the "getting into things" stage, for the most part...I hope, but I recall once when my daughter, who was perhaps four at the time , used my model paints and brushes to paint in her Barbie coloring books...
" Look Daddy...I painted pictures for you!!"...I just had to walk away...

My Son was bit better about not getting into my things, though he did seem to enjoy throwing my car keys ( and anything else that would fit) into the toilet.

Spyder68 wrote:

AgeOfEgos wrote:

Spyder68 wrote:No stories for me..

but one on the way if that counts.

Im prepraed to have my paints and things locked up.

Wait, what?! When?!

Just had our 2nd appt. last Wed. 12 weeks along now is all!

Hey Gratz Scott. Future little gamer on the way!

Shouldn't this be in swap shop? "W:paints and brushes H: 2-year-old girl"

NOTHING could go wrong with that plan. :lol:

Although when I was under 3, I did have an obsession with letter openers, white out, and the upholstery. That's why my gaming stuff has its own room, with an eyebolt latch on the door six feet up, just in case that's genetic.

And this is why I don't have kids.

And oddly, why I like to look after my friend's sprogs, fill them with sugar and fizzy pop, give them a good shake, then had back to parents before legging it to a safe distaince.

Hell I was inciting my Cousin's son to riot at her Brother's wedding last year. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Best of all? I then get to retreat to my tricked out bachelor pad and do whatever I want.

And this is why I don't have kids.

And oddly, why I like to look after my friend's sprogs, fill them with sugar and fizzy pop, give them a good shake, then had back to parents before legging it to a safe distaince.

Hell I was inciting my Cousin's son to riot at her Brother's wedding last year. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Best of all? I then get to retreat to my tricked out bachelor pad and do whatever I want.

"Make me a bicycle clown!!" haha...

Have played a few games where a young cousin has wandered in, picked up ye old metal dreadnought and then proclaimed when we weren't looking

"Is this supposed to come off?"

Not only does time stop, but i liken it to 'the onion moment'. ie every time you look at it, it makes you cry.

They don't get any better when they get older. Both my lads briefly flirted with W40K and seemed to have a lot of trouble keeping lids on pots of paint firmly shut when shaking them up, or not painting the coffee table where the old newspaper didn't quite cover it.

Chemistry sets are to be avoided (strange permanent stains in the bathroom carpet), as is blackcurrant squash (a full pint glass of the stuff makes a huge stain in pale carpets). Taking pens apart and throwing the bits at each other spreads enough permanent green(!) ink everywhere, but then letting one of the cats play with it through the living room, dining room and conservatory is a nightmare.

Now the only paint they get on them is when we go paintballing, and at least that's easy to wash out.

Moving topic to OT Forum.

you want mine?

I LOVE children! If they're cooked properly.

warpcrafter wrote:I LOVE children! If they're cooked properly.

Battered.

I think the naughtiest thing young Miss Kilkrazy has done was to cut her own fringe because she wanted to avoid the train trip to her hairdresser at Harajuku.

Did she blame it on her grandmothers dog like my cousin?

Andrew1975 wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:I LOVE children! If they're cooked properly.

Battered.

Beer batter, then rolled in crushed Cap'n Crunch.

I miss sleep. The diapers and the vomiting in airports and other stuff I don't care about anymore. Why must children make it impossible to get eight hours of unbroken sleep more than twice a month??

I have no desire to have kids of my own they're a hog on resources, it's a lot of responsibility, the world is already overpopulated enough and it cuts into my free time.

We've been pretty lucky with our kids and ruining stuff. The only real issue we had was Son#1 (18 at the time) destroyed a $2500 riding mower because of lazyness and Son#2 (18 at the time) who decided to park a car (a JUST PAINTED '81 'vette) in a wooded ditch after driving it through a guardrail. I am praying our daughter (currently 9) does not do those things.

Now we have had guests who brought little demons disguised as children into our house which left me in a fit of tears and rage. I refuse to talk about it though. It is still bad for my blood pressure.