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I thought people should have a thread to post stories, real stories, about them being bullying. so we can help each other
This text below is what I posted as a youtube comment so it is not all standard English:
I used to be bullied a lot, mainly verbal, but not all. It started about 7-8 years ago and has more or less stopped since 4 years ago. During that time I put on weight, lost all self confidence, and once tried to kill myself, and also got put on anger management because I punched this guy in the throat cause he made fun of me. Now I have good friends and I have pulled through. When I listen to this song I get tears in my eyes, just remembering some of the stuff. this started when I was about 8.

What song? Did you mean to give a link to a song.

Being bullied sucks, though.

I used to get bullied. It's no fun getting ground into the dirt by someone with no self-worth, because insulting and assaulting people are the only things they'll ever be capable of.

Then I developed a mentality of "why the hell do I care what you think, you lousy piece of crap?"

Still have zero tolerance for it, though.

Yeah, it seems anecdotally that bullying is on the rise. Actual physical bullying where the standard 1950's response of "just hit them back" doesn't seem to really do much except escalate the bullying.

I have to admit, this is happenign to a young person I know, and I am stumped on how I can help them handle it other than to be a good listener and be empathetic. The proper authorities all ready know, but can't be everywhere at once.

Easy E wrote:Yeah, it seems anecdotally that bullying is on the rise. Actual physical bullying where the standard 1950's response of "just hit them back" doesn't seem to really do much except escalate the bullying.

I have to admit, this is happenign to a young person I know, and I am stumped on how I can help them handle it other than to be a good listener and be empathetic. The proper authorities all ready know, but can't be everywhere at once.

Hitting back nowadays can be a big lose lose situation where I am.

We almost had a student excluded from College because he was bullied and struck back at his tormentors.

kronk wrote:What song? Did you mean to give a link to a song.

Being bullied sucks, though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF0zefuJ4Ys

My post is on page 12 of the comments, look for the post made by KishinxXXx

I used to get bullied, but could ignore it quite well, though once they bullied my brother I slammed the guy head first into a tree. Seemed to stop after that.

I never got bullied because I am rock. I did get some pressure though, because apparently I was "third hardest in the year" and then people wanted me to fight the "second hardest in the year" all the time! It was terribly stressful, so we practically got forced into having a fight on the back field and I thought I had put the issue to bed when I hit him over the head with a sock full of snooker balls and kicked him about the head and body until he lapsed into unconsciousness, but no.. then the hardest bloke in the year turns up and he has fingers like sausage's and a boots like Frankenstein.... us bully's have it tough as well you know!

On a serious note, try not to let bullying get you down, its just kids stuff, its a phase, and it goes away, there is always someone going through something similar, and you are never truly alone.

Well..

.... thats what weaklings told me anyways.

MrDwhitey wrote:

Easy E wrote:Yeah, it seems anecdotally that bullying is on the rise. Actual physical bullying where the standard 1950's response of "just hit them back" doesn't seem to really do much except escalate the bullying.

I have to admit, this is happenign to a young person I know, and I am stumped on how I can help them handle it other than to be a good listener and be empathetic. The proper authorities all ready know, but can't be everywhere at once.

Hitting back nowadays can be a big lose lose situation where I am.

We almost had a student excluded from College because he was bullied and struck back at his tormentors.

And the problem here is really the response of the college not the individual. Bullying is a frequent topic of discussion in our house. My wife is a teacher and I'm a soldier. My wife started out wit the current trend that a non violent response, faculty, and conselors could solve the problem. Now she's more or less with me, but more restrained. I would proudly enroll my son or daughter in a new school after being expelled for fighting a bully. Am I a bad person, I don't think so. It seems these days however that kids respond by attempting or committing suicide. So given the choice between buring my child and having them assault another child; I pick assault every time.
Bullies need to know there are consequnces for their actions, even if you lose a fight to them once you've broken a foot arch, nose, or crushed a tesicle that bully will find an easier target. The response of schools to bullying creates a false sense that the world is fair that sets them up to fail outside academia. No one is going to hold your hand if your boss or coworkers are mean to you, deal with it. So while I think fighting should be punished the severity should not start at expulsion. Your kids teachers know what's going on, and they do what they can. But when your kid has had enough and puts a stop to it their hands are tied? bs. The administrator need greater latitude in determining punishment, preferably with parental input.

The OP asked for stories I'm game. Growing up I was always small. Smallest kid in my class until the 6th grade small. Im legally blind so as a kid I wore huge coke bottle classes, and I have a birth defect in the form of a large scar, that forms a bald patch on my head. Recipe for success.
When I was 7 my mom and dad split and we moved to a different city. Two other kids in my grade who were bigger than me used to bully me at school. In class, on the playground, and on the way home. Insults, shoving, dumb pranks the worse. One day I was playing at the park and they came around. We basically lived a block apart. The neighborhood kids were playing freeze tag and somehow that turned into these two kids beating my ass. I came home with a broken lip, a bloody nose, and a shiner and my grandfather was livid. I'm pretty sure had those kids still been there it would have been the end of them, but they weren't.
My eldest brother (who is about 12 years older than me) basically told me that similar stuff happened to him as a kid, he also gave me a reasonable solution. The next time the two kids started pegging rocks off my head on the way home I did what they didn't expect. I dropped my gak and charged them. Suffice to say a couple decades later details are thin. I remember That fighting two to one odds wasn't any easier then than it is now...but choosing when and where to fight gives a distinct advantage. I got hurt, but so did they. Much much worse. They never bothered me again. A few years later in highschool I saw one of those two, about half my size by then, and I remember thinking I should beat his ass for all the trouble he ever caused me. But I didn't because there was really no reason, you can call it the highroad if you want I call it a lack of provocation.
Pretty much from then on I made it clear that I wouldn't put up with being fethed with. Maybe I raised my hand too much in class and enjoyed D and D too much but I never had a problem with bullies I couldn't solve. Now instead of being a small guy I'm on the big side, and according to my wife and her family "scary." I smile, laugh, and I enjoy life and friends. But I'm still always rooting for the little guy. So that's my story about being bullied. Someday I'm sure my kids will have problems and I'll remember what it felt like, hopefully there's a way they can make it stop that's a lot less painful.

I must say, anger management was fun, I got to play with puppets

AustonT wrote:So while I think fighting should be punished the severity should not start at expulsion. Your kids teachers know what's going on, and they do what they can. But when your kid has had enough and puts a stop to it their hands are tied? bs. The administrator need greater latitude in determining punishment, preferably with parental input.

I agree entirely.

Fortunately it was resolved before it got there, but it came close.

Reminded me of another incident where a lecturer was abusing a student verbally, day in day out, and this was a kid who'd had a frankly terrible home life. Eventually he snapped, went to hit the lecturer, stopped himself and walked out.

He was hauled up before a investigating committee who were deciding whether or not to exclude him. It's not your usual bullying that, usually most people will discuss students bullying students I find, but working at it from the other end I've seen some absolutely terrible abuse from other lecturers towards their students. I mean, I've sometimes felt like letting rip on some, but I don't. Maybe as I'm a trainee I just haven't got the chops yet.

Bullying ruined my life. I was bullied throughout Primary School and Secondary School to the point of attempted suicide, psychiatrist sessions, breakdowns, spiralling depression, and having to stay in staff lounges through some breaks and lunches as well as classes, some of which were unbearable. I was verbally and physically abused and didn't have friends so much as simply hang out in groups for safety of numbers.

What happened to the people who did it? Nothing bar one guy who threw a heavy textbook at the back of my head and didn't see the teacher watching, getting suspended (and later expelled, but not for that). Since only students witnessed it, nothing ever got done, simply because word was taken and investigations were not made. I was attacked on the way back from a short trip, in front of the whole class, and what happened? Nobody spoke up, and they just ended up having to walk with the teacher - Oh the severity of their punishment!

Going into College, I had a reputation of being depressed, lazy, unhealthy, unclean, and essentially a huge nobody. Add the fact that I was led on by someone I cared for (and for some reason still care for) very deeply, and absolutely crushed during the summer of my GCSEs, and it's not a huge leap to say that I fell far short of my capabilities education wise, and it was a giant uphill struggle just to get Cs cross the board (well, 7 Cs and 2 Bs, but had I not spent such a large amount of my school life being tormented by untouchable people, they could easily have been As).

So much could have been done early on, but it wasn't. Their idea of dealing with bullies you requested not to learn of your identity was to have you shake their hand after they apologised with the least sincerity possible. Shaking hands is for 5 year olds who called each other poo-poo heads, not for little gaks who kicked your knees in to see if you actually had a mdeical condition, or lifted you up against your will to see how little you weighed before they spat accusations of anorexia into your face, or threw bits of food at you over the course of lunchtimes to the point where you're a laughing stock and one more piece away from snapping (he had to type me up an insincere letter of apology - oh how he regretted his actions /sarcasm).

Being called every name under the sun, being shoved and poked and prodded and laughed at as you walked past. Having people feint attacks just to watch you flinch and cower. It messes with your mind. 2 And a half years after I left compulsory education, I still experience common involuntary movements whenever someone raises their arm or their hand near me, or when someone is throwing something even partially in my direction and i'm not participating in anything (tennis, basketball and things are fine, since I know I can just hit the ball back, or i'm meant to catch it, but if someone throws it to someone next to me or behind me, my instinct is 'cower').

Now i'm left trying to pick up the pieces of my life and glue them back together. I've got qualifications from an apprenticeship that nobody is interested in, despite them being sought after. I'd have to pay for any A levels I want to take, since it's taken me the last few years of my free education to even get my confidence back. I've turned into a narcissistic, pessimistic, flying purple people hater, and whilst I was once trusting, i'm now overly suspicious of everyone, and simply cynical.

All this is being done whilst I hear how my tormentors have all the A Levels they want and are now in University and enjoying employment. It's a huge kick in the teeth.

Unfortunately, there is feth all being done to combat bullying. Kids have far too many rights. My brother was bullied and sworn at in arabic repeatedly, and nothing got done. He eventually snapped and replied back with a minor racial slur, and was suspended, pending action from his infuriated parents. The same kid who bullied him also managed to get away with biting me.

Schools are terrified of angry parents, and usually the angriest parent gets their way. Their little precious boy Bruce would never harm a fly, so why on Earth would would he stick that whiny little troublemaker Timmy's head in the toilet and flush it? Timmy's parents should be ashamed at raising such a liar! Timmy must be punished for lying!

Nothing is done unless someone with authority witnesses it, and even then it depends on whether or not they're scared of the student and/or their parents. When students can rule the schools out of fear, something is horrifically wrong with the discipline (or lack thereof) levels, but unless somebody is knifed or shot or makes the local paper, it's deemed a practical non-issue, and ignored.

I tried to get bullied once or twice. I rolled with it. The one time a dude was going to beat the gak out of me I ran towards the faculty offices and just stood in front of them and dared the dude. He didn't make a move for some reason. That was as far as it ever got.

I was only ever bullied by one guy. When I was a freshmen, he was a senior, and we had the same math class......go ahead, think on it for a moment.....you got it! He was a complete and total idiot. I think the only reason he messed with me was honestly, because I sat infront of him in math...that was it. And it was just dumb gak like flicking my hair, and sticking staples to the back of shirt and so on.

Honestly, its one of those things where I really think it might of been that whole "he picks on you because he likes you thing. *shudders* The guy was total dick and for no reason even. I ended up telling my oldest brother about it, and he took care of the problem. Im not saying, go out and find a bigger tougher dude, and have them kick teef in, but it certainly worked out in my case

Honestly, I blame the parents.

My Dad raised me alone after my mum died young so I had an extrmely masculine upbringing, no female influence, its why im such an emotionless savage.

My old man was always scrapping, he had a repuration as a known man in town, and as a result he was stupidly macho as well, and he always taught me to clock people, he never ever said "it takes more of a man to walk away" he said "Hit the fether first!" and "When your older son, go for the chin to put a man down, but as a kid, just go for as much blood as possible by smashing their nose in, it frightens lads your age!"

But he always told me never to be a bully and I never was. I never had the courage to step in and stop other people I didn't know from being bullied as a teenager, but not once did I ever pick on a kid. I fought with other people who thought they were tough and that in itself was pretty stressful though!

It therefore has to be the upbringing by the parents. You can teach a child self defence and confidence whilst giving them discipline and teaching them right from wrong. Chav scum drag their kids up and instil no moral fibre in them at all. Its almost like you cant even blame the bullies as far as im concerned. Kids are fething stupid, and they look to their parents for guidance. Thats why I was a semi thug, because when I was 13 I did everything my dad told me because I thought he was a genius and I looked up to him so much.

Genuinely sad stories though, I might have missed out on a gentle loving mother, and my old man was utterly non emotional, but at least I never worried about getting bullied.

Anyway to add some merriment to this somewhat depressing thread, I shall spin a heart warming story of revenge and retribution.

The only time I ever got "bullied" in a way was when I was in the Territorial A at 16, and the older corporal who was like.. 27 maybe? Used to give me gak details and needlessly talk to me like scum all the time.

It never got physical cos even at 16 id have stuck one on him if he tried it, but I really hated the guy.

Anyways, I am childish and my Dad always taught me to bear a grudge.

I saw him in a club in Middlesbrough about 4 years ago.. your talking, what, 12 years since I last saw him?

I went handed my pint to a girl we were with and marched up and went "remember me?" and he went "er.. no"

This confused me momentarily as I expected an argument and the opportunity to vent my rage upon him. However, not to allow diaglogue to sway my path, after a confused 5 second delay I then hit him about 6 times in quick succession. And he hit the floor and made no attempt to rise.

The bouncers then leapt on me, got me in a ridiculous headlock and dragged me to the exit for my customary beating, and which point I (white lie) said "he used to bully me at school!" the bouncers all looked at each other and one grinned sheepishly and said "Well you got the last laugh then son, now feth off elsewhere!"

And I met my friends again afterwards.. the lassie didnt manage to smuggle my pint out though, curse her!

I felt a wee bit guilty about it afterwards when I thought he may to this day have absolutely no idea why he was randomly assaulted by a stranger, but.. he deserved it honest!

I was walking down the sidewalk one day with an ice cream cone and a copy of the latest Redbook magazine when Mattyrm came up and knocked the ice cream out of my hand, gave me a wedgie, and took my Redbook. I don't even think he read it afterward becuase when I asked him about what was in the gardening tips later at the pub he seemed like he had no idea what I was talking about.

All I can really say to that matty is "Wow".

I'm not old or independant enough yet to do act on my grudge with my dad, and I probably wouldn't hit him either.

You need to write a book of your many upstanding adventures.

Frazzled wrote:You need to write a book of your many upstanding adventures.

Coming soon in volume two..

Matty gets viscously beaten by a 22 stone man after drunkenly believing he could defeat him in unarmed combat as it was all "redundant blubber"

Said 22 stone man shifted his ample girth with surprising agility and punched me in the neck, before getting me in a bear hug, and head butting me 40 times.

Concussion and the resulting memory loss prevents me from finishing this volume.

Alternatively just a porno, completely with funky 70s disco beat. Wow chicka wowow

The new kid in school was my bully, oddly enough. He was a sophmore, and I was a Freshman. He was 5'9 built pretty well, and I was 5'6, and chubby. Not fat, but chubby.

Now, the thing you have to know to preface this is that I don't have a lot of male friends. The majority of the people I hang out with have periods and boobs. It's been like this since as long as I can remember.

So, the new kid decides that because I'm small, chubby, have a high voice, make weird feminine taunts (Nuh uh, Girlfriend! *Snap, snap*) and hang out with mostly girls, that I'm gay. Of course, this being High School, and him being a sophmore, he has more weight than I do. So for my Freshman year, people called me things like [see forum posting rules], queer-bo, and gay. I was devastated, and a lot of my guy friends (Who I wasn't really that close to anyway) left me. I was left with girls and my close guy friends. This, of course, only furthered the fact that people thought I was gay. I barley made any friends, was constantly taunted and hit, and the teachers could have given less of a gak.

Come this year. First day of Sophmore year, I see the prick. He's yakking it up with his buds, and I walk over and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around. The small Chubby kid has grown 6 inches and 40 pounds of muscle over the summer. He looks at me, and runs. Of course, I just laugh, and give chase.

I get suspended for 3 days for kicking him in his smug ass face. Of course, the gay jokes are over, and people know not to poke the bear.



Moral of the story: Learn a fighting sport so you can fight. The teachers will tell you that "Oh, no, it's wrong." bs. I would have been Faggatron for the rest of high school if the kid didn't chip his fething teeth on my boots.

Frazzled say, the best revenge is...revenge.

Frazzled wrote:Frazzled say, the best revenge is...revenge.

Oh feth yes.

Brutal and unforgiving! Thats how I like my revenge

I never get to deal with bullying being a trainee, it just gets handed up to my mentor.

Probably because she knows me very well. I like suggesting bad things, as I have a special place in my heart for bullies. It is not a good special place.

I used to get "bullied" I suppose, back when I was in primary school and was basically the fat kid. Then I got to high school, and being the fat kid turned into "Hey, you would make a good defensive lineman." That, and some (a lot) of working out turned me into a relatively popular kid. Then college happened, and being the guy that knows way too much about pop culture (and more working out) got me lots of dates. Its funny how time, and context, changes how people perceive you.

But yeah, my parents were always sure to instill in me that, when someone comes at you, you make them regret it. Or, as my dad used to say, "Fight for keeps."

MrDwhitey wrote:It is not a good special place.

Frazzled like.

I do find it interesting how the teachers are abhorring violence for the students, while "mediation" does jack gak.

Bullying happens. ITs sad but true.
bullying is annoying and can't be avoided. I got bullied for three years of my life, they are now friends with me after they got past the whole aussie thing.

Asherian Command wrote:Bullying happens. ITs sad but true.
bullying is annoying and can't be avoided. I got bullied for three years of my life, they are now friends with me after they got past the whole aussie thing.

The foreign kids in my school are revered, and get girls like it's going out of style.