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2017/12/18 10:36:35
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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Kent is getting increasingly odd.
.... makes the feeding of the 5,000 look a bit lame eh ?
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2017/12/18 10:43:35
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon
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Increasingly?
Royal Tunbridge Wells not only had a Ninja Protector, but has our own legit Superhero.
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2017/12/18 12:10:05
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Locked in the Tower of Amareo
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 chromedog wrote: Kilkrazy wrote:Technically not local but it's such a good story it has to be run...
Apology after Japanese train departs 20 seconds early
Management on the Tsukuba Express line between Tokyo and the city of Tsukuba say they "sincerely apologise for the inconvenience" caused.
In a statement, the company said the train had been scheduled to leave at 9:44:40 local time but left at 9:44:20.
We get the odd driver on trains into Sydney (it's a 2hr40 to 3hr trip depending on stopping pattern) apologising ("for the convenience") when they arrive early and then say that "it won't happen again.".
Tokyo is exceedingly polite, even when you are in the wrong, though. They apologise because it's not your fault you're an idiot.
And because this could actually inconvenience some people. The trains are so damn to the clock that you could use them to set your own watch. Or board blindfolded into one based on the clock and be sure the train is there.
They pretty much need to get official proof of train being late or boss won't likely believe he was late from work because train was not time(compare to Finland where my 10 train rides a week usually has at least 4 that are late). Imagine what nuisance missing train that left too early is!
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2024 painted/bought: 109/109 |
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2017/12/18 12:13:02
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon
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I'd prefer a train to be late rather than setting off early.
When it's late, it's late.
When it's early, you've just stuffed, even though you turned up at the right time.
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2017/12/18 12:45:48
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Ferocious Black Templar Castellan
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 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:I'd prefer a train to be late rather than setting off early.
When it's late, it's late.
When it's early, you've just stuffed, even though you turned up at the right time.
This. I understand it if something happens on the way to delay a train, but what excuse is there for leaving before you're supposed to?
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For thirteen years I had a dog with fur the darkest black. For thirteen years he was my friend, oh how I want him back. |
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2018/01/11 19:55:33
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer
Somewhere in south-central England.
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2018/01/12 10:42:32
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Moustache-twirling Princeps
Gone-to-ground in the craters of Coventry
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You think he is skilled in Ecky-Thump?
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ecky-Thump
Wrong part of the world.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/01/12 10:44:34
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2018/02/02 15:32:35
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2018/02/02 17:21:17
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Contagious Dreadnought of Nurgle
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They repeatedly say he “uses a walking stick”, which makes you wonder what for.
He then allegedly performed a solo sex act.
Not completely solo...
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/02/02 17:22:09
 insaniak wrote:Sometimes, Exterminatus is the only option.
And sometimes, it's just a case of too much scotch combined with too many buttons...
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2018/02/05 16:50:08
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Assassin with Black Lotus Poison
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Glad to see that the long arm of the law caught him with his trousers down.
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The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.
Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
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2018/02/07 16:25:03
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer
Somewhere in south-central England.
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Thousands of children seeking treatment for addition
See what happens if you overdo your maths homework!
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2018/02/17 10:04:51
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2018/02/20 02:41:51
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Lord of the Fleet
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Unfortunately I have never been able to find it online but there was once a story on the local news station in Youngstown Ohio about the assassination of a tom turkey in near by Mercer County, and the wounding of the local land management agent in the ensuing shootout.
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Fate is in heaven, armor is on the chest, accomplishment is in the feet. - Nagao Kagetora
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2018/02/23 21:17:04
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2018/04/16 10:49:26
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/fury-after-morrisons-wouldnt-sell-14533827
"It should have been a simple case of pie and sell.
But Linda and Tony Gilkes were left piping hot with fury after their local Morrisons refused to sell them meat pies before 9am.
“I wanted eight large sausage rolls and two steak bakes,” said Linda, 62, from Thorntree.
“It was 8.45am and there were no pies at all displayed.
“I could see bags and bags of pies, all wrapped up on cages behind the counter. The trolley was ready to be pushed out.
“But when I asked for the pies, I was told: ‘We can’t sell the pies until 9am’. I could have had a fruit pie, but not a meat pie.”"
normal filler BS sort of story.
best line however :
But Tony suggested a more sinister explanation.
“There’s more to this,” he said. “Morrisons have got their own agenda."
.. Morrisons and their sinister pie selling agenda.
"She added: “They are dictating to me when I can buy pies and when I can shop.”"
Yes, that's what shops do.
the couple have had their odd moment of fame before :
https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/local-news/court-ends-campaign-hell-couple-3741918
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2018/04/16 15:20:10
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Moustache-twirling Princeps
Gone-to-ground in the craters of Coventry
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Sainsbury near me doesn't put them out until later, too. It's bigger than you think...
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2018/05/07 17:21:29
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Fixture of Dakka
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2018/05/13 10:42:28
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer
Somewhere in south-central England.
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Cheating a bit here because this is the BBC's report of a local Oxford story.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-44051839
But I'm put it up because I go down Delete Street every day on my commute to work.
It's a pity the city council has no sense of humour.
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2018/05/13 11:06:24
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2018/05/13 12:21:47
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer
Somewhere in south-central England.
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The devil is in the details.
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2018/05/14 19:04:45
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Fixture of Dakka
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OK, so Auntie again, rather than a local news source, but
All-you-can-eat pizza festival apologises for lack of pizza
I mean, it's hardly rocket science. 
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2018/05/14 22:03:04
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Battlefield Tourist
MN (Currently in WY)
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That is one hell of a story.
Honsetly, it sounds like something ripped right out of the Hobby Lobby board room.
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Support Blood and Spectacles Publishing:
https://www.patreon.com/Bloodandspectaclespublishing |
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2018/05/18 07:13:58
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/05/18 18:24:07
The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2018/06/01 17:18:54
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Fixture of Dakka
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2018/06/01 23:04:10
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Xeno-Hating Inquisitorial Excruciator
London
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I'm gonna go to hell for this, but WTF is that on the far right?
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2018/06/02 00:15:28
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Pragmatic Primus Commanding Cult Forces
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Last year a local news station here had a hilarious story about the police chasing a man with a broomstick on the roundabout of a small town in the middle of night. The guy apparently was under the impression that he was a witch and that he could fly. The police were successful in taking away his broomstick.
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Error 404: Interesting signature not found
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2018/06/02 08:45:42
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Fixture of Dakka
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Police, or Dementors?
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2018/06/03 14:29:00
Subject: Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Monstrous Master Moulder
Rust belt
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Few yrs ago in my area we had a sex offender flashing the Amish ...so the local cop dressed up as a Amish women
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/15/police-officer-amish_n_5153848.html
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2018/06/23 12:10:05
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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[MOD]
Anti-piracy Officer
Somewhere in south-central England.
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Cheating again by picking local news from the BBC, but this is good...
Apology for Kingsbridge phone box nightclub damage
A Devon village which has a nightclub inside its old Post Office phone box.
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2018/06/25 13:10:10
Subject: Re:Great Stories from Local Newsapers
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Pragmatic Primus Commanding Cult Forces
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The fact they apologised afterwards is so British. That would just never happen in the Netherlands. Or in Russia. British people are just so polite.
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Error 404: Interesting signature not found
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6000 pts - 
4000 pts - Harlies: 1000 pts - 
1000 pts
