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I don't think hitting children is ever justafiable short of doing it to make them drop the bleach that they are going to drink or whatever.

I was hit with a willow rod and also a brush as a child. My brother and I used to be well scared.
Then it got to the point when I could put out my hand and take the implement from my parents being stronger than them.And laugh.
They got the message that we weren't afraid anymore and that we'd liked to be treated with a bit more grown-up-ness.

I think violence for offence is wrong. I'm ok with less than leathal measures for defence though and violence as a last resort (eg shooting Necrophile McRapey who's attacking your wife with a knife or something)

Phototoxin wrote:I don't think hitting children is ever justafiable short of doing it to make them drop the bleach that they are going to drink or whatever.

I was hit with a willow rod and also a brush as a child. My brother and I used to be well scared.
Then it got to the point when I could put out my hand and take the implement from my parents being stronger than them.And laugh.
They got the message that we weren't afraid anymore and that we'd liked to be treated with a bit more grown-up-ness.

Your parents did it wrong, I'm 21 and my mom still scares the hell out of me when I do something wrong and the same goes for my brother who is 20 and goes to a military school.

The way we were raised we never raise our hands to our mom even in self defense so when we got older and she began to slap us across the mouth for yelling at her or something like that we took it like men. I have to thank her for that, it raised my pain threshold overall.

halonachos wrote:

Gitkikka wrote:Those who advocate washing out a kid's mouth with soap might want to consider where the little darlings are picking those words up from.

Just sayin'.

When I hear mine using the occasional curse, I generally just look at them over the top of my glasses and say, "Do you REALLY want to sound like your Dad (me)?" The answer is a horrified "NOOO!" and they clean up their act immediately.

Welcome to public school, where the one thing you are guaranteed to learn is new vocabulary. I'll soap out their mouths as necessary because certain swear words are just "don't say that again words" and others are Dove words.

I'm not blaming public school, as those kids have learned that language from somewhere - most likely from home (as was my point). I know too many parents in the Dallas area who haven't really figured that one out yet...

tl;dr Parents should clean up their act before cleaning up their kid's.

Showing your kid discipline is one thing but beating a kid like that is another. A simple spank should suffice.

Coming from someone with a slaaneshi symbol in their sig I'm somewhat concerned about the preference for spanking.

we whack kids with birch rods and whippy suckers here. and make them slop out the buffalo pens. and sometimes lock them in the bathroom or take away their dinner or something.

I do live in a medieval society though, technology is fairly new here.

corpsesarefun wrote:Coming from someone with a slaaneshi symbol in their sig I'm somewhat concerned about the preference for spanking.

Nice one!

corpsesarefun wrote:Coming from someone with a slaaneshi symbol in their sig I'm somewhat concerned about the preference for spanking.

I wouldn't spank them that way.... No way . Seriously, kids run a mock in these streets, they need to be disciplined somehow.

I'm relieved

I do agree that discipline is sorely lacking in todays society though.

Don't mind if parents spank their kids, but nothing more.

Growing up I use to get the belt to the back.

One day when I was naughty my mom hit me with the wrong side of the belt so I got the buckle part.

All I know is, kids behaved a lot better when it was ok to bust their ass for misbehaving. Now it is all time out stuff and begging them to behave. The line between fear and respect is rather thin.

Kids don't care if they behave and outside of your home it is pretty much impossible to discipline a child. Take their recess? Ha like they care.

There are a few counties in Texas who have started using paddling again in schools. So far the statistics have shown that as paddling increased and was used, discipline problems went down and grades went up.

Spare the rod spoil the child.

"Hon! Where's my rod!? NOT THAT ONE!"

Melissia wrote:The little one's three-ish. I could toss him across the room with one hand...

I will MAKE him sit in time out. Intimidating children and making them cry is deeply satisfying for some reason.

You are a scary person...

Grounding is good.

Provided you use a live wire to do it.

I have no children. I will never have them. Other people's children are hellspawn until they reach the age of majority, and even then most are still hellspawn.

Little kids are cool because if you just tell them to do something they usually do. Once they get a bit older they want a reason for everything, so far the reason why the kids I babysit can't do certain things is because I'll tickle the living hell out of their armpits or the bottom of their feet. Seriously, I have this motion where I make a pair of "fangs" with my middle and pointer finger and then use those to hit vital tickle spots.

And I do blame public schools because that's where I learned most of my words and crude phrases. Anybody who went to public school in my city and maybe many others can probably tell you why "pen island" is funny.

My mother either threw her shoe at me, which never missed, or pull on my sideburns (my weakness). She even hit me for things I was thinking of doing.

halonachos wrote:Little kids are cool because if you just tell them to do something they usually do. Once they get a bit older they want a reason for everything, so far the reason why the kids I babysit can't do certain things is because I'll tickle the living hell out of their armpits or the bottom of their feet. Seriously, I have this motion where I make a pair of "fangs" with my middle and pointer finger and then use those to hit vital tickle spots.

And I do blame public schools because that's where I learned most of my words and crude phrases. Anybody who went to public school in my city and maybe many others can probably tell you why "pen island" is funny.

I always found " The pen is mightier than the sword" to be more amusing...but YMMV.

As far as children picking up profanity from their parents...sure in some case that's very true ( though I also agree they pick it up at school just as fast)...but...as I told my Missus Mother when she made the comment that somehow I was responsible that my Son had said a " dirty word" because he heard me say it ...so I shouldn't be angry at him...he see's me drive everyday...and if I caught him behind the wheel of a car I'd be mad too.

Oh yeah, kids pick up words from everywhere but in my personal experience it was mainly at school because like most of the kids there I was the son of a sailor and if you take 500 kids who's dads are all in the NAVY someone is bound to bring something to the table.

But sometimes they pick it up in movies, in fact the oldest I babysit(7 years old) was sitting in the car next to me while I was driving them to their swim lessons and saw a jet flying overhead and said "** have you seen Topgun, I did and it was cool. My favorite part was when the guy was flying the jet real close to that building with the windows where the guy tells him to land, and he flew close and scared the guy inside and he said 'God Dammit'."

My parents never punished me for cursing, their reasoning that I would learn from the reactions of others whether or not cursing was acceptable. So I would punished for cursing at school, but not at home because my parents considered the home an acceptable place to curse, given that it essentially a private place for expression.

Also, my dad's side of the family is largely composed of people from the hills of Kentucky who make their living in trades, so cursing just sort of came with that.

dogma wrote:My parents never punished me for cursing, their reasoning that I would learn from the reactions of others whether or not cursing was acceptable. So I would punished for cursing at school, but not at home because my parents considered the home an acceptable place to curse, given that it essentially a private place for expression.

Also, my dad's side of the family is largely composed of people from the hills of Kentucky who make their living in trades, so cursing just sort of came with that.

Matter of choice I suppose...I just prefer that my ten year old not walk around the house asking where his @*%$*$!! Power Ranger is...
I know he's going to eventually swear...hell he probably does already when he's off with his friends....but I'd rather him spare some of my illusions until he's at least in his teens.

Easy acid test from someone with children:

Did you punish for fear of the child's future or because they made you angry?

My boy hit other kids at school because he was angry, we discuss keeping distance, anger control and then a brief spanking. Done. Matters of safety for others and himself get that ultimate punishment, all others are the corner or loss of privileges.

We talk about respect of others and they are reminded that we are not **required** to give them what they want, they will get what they need and only that, if respect and getting mouthy happens.

Just calling someone "stupid" is unacceptable no matter that the evidence starts looking conclusive...

I received the occasional good old "leather belt to the butt at the barn with the it-will-hurt-me-more-than-you-son-speech", still not sure what to make of it other than I think I am not emotionally scarred because of it ;-) .

FITZZ wrote:
Matter of choice I suppose...I just prefer that my ten year old not walk around the house asking where his @*%$*$!! Power Ranger is...
I know he's going to eventually swear...hell he probably does already when he's off with his friends....but I'd rather him spare some of my illusions until he's at least in his teens.

My parents are both cynics, and I think they took pleasure in watching my curse in public, if only to burst the bubbles of others.

Lord Scythican wrote:All I know is, kids behaved a lot better when it was ok to bust their ass for misbehaving. Now it is all time out stuff and begging them to behave. The line between fear and respect is rather thin.

I wouldn't say punks from the 70's (or even 60's hippies who spent most there time lazing about and smoking weed) were any better disciplined than the teens we have now. But maybe there was an age

when unruly youngsters was a rarer sight than it is today but I still remain doubtful that it actually exists.

dogma wrote:

FITZZ wrote:
Matter of choice I suppose...I just prefer that my ten year old not walk around the house asking where his @*%$*$!! Power Ranger is...
I know he's going to eventually swear...hell he probably does already when he's off with his friends....but I'd rather him spare some of my illusions until he's at least in his teens.

My parents are both cynics, and I think they took pleasure in watching my curse in public, if only to burst the bubbles of others.

Heh, I derived more pleasure when my Son, who when asked by his Grandmother if he " Believed in Jesus" replied that he " Believed in Squids"...We each find our little moments of happiness in a multitude of places.

I mean, Jesus probably wouldn't have attacked the Nautilus, so that's +1 to the squids.

I think I have been spanked twice, smacked across the mouth once, and forced to eat soap three times in my life.

Getting hit by a spoon because I was trying to get into something before dinner, though....

FITZZ wrote: I've swatted my kids backsides on a few occasions..but I would always sit them down afterwards and explain to them what they'd done wrong.
For the most part their both pretty well behaved and happy kids, sure...they misbehave from time to time...but it seldom takes more than a stern look to get them to act right.

I can believe it, haha.

I get that i'll be in the minority here, but I'm unconvinced that discipline is even a desirable trait, that pretty much makes all physical punishment unacceptable in my book.

I disagree, but then I believe the ONLY discipline that counts is SELF-DISCIPLINE (no, I'm not talking about flagellation ).

It's something that CANNOT be taught, but has to be learned - often the hard way.

Life sucks, get a helmet.

Frazzled wrote:

Melissia wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

Melissia wrote:I find that time out tends to be far more effective of a punishment for the little nephew if the mere threat of a spanking doesn't work (it usually does). The very mention of time out causes him to panic. Sure he's stubborn as a mule, but I'm about a thousand times more stubborn than that-- he'll cave eventually, and unlike the rest of my family I won't.

For the bigger nephew, denying him games and access to the internet is a better punishment. He'll go pouty, but my cats have made me immune to such childrens' tricks.

I wouldn't put soap in their mouth because I love my nephews. Soap is very bad for ingestion.

What if he doesn't go to time out?

The little one's three-ish. I could toss him across the room with one hand...

I will MAKE him sit in time out. Intimidating children and making them cry is deeply satisfying for some reason.

What if he doesn't? If you phyisically hold him there you're engaging, kind of defeating the purpose of time out no?
(images of a Frazzled before the wiener time carrying a 2 year old Genghis Connie out of Gattis Pizza high over his head to avoid the flying feet and arms, laughing as he did it. Thus began the legend of "Genghis" Connie...)

Wait, you actually named your daughter Genghis Connie?